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“Holy fragging Primus,” Rodimus breathed as he turned down the private road and looked directly at the biggest, fanciest mansion he had ever seen. It looked like it should have been in a fairy-tale, not be the only possible destination available for his delivery, with something that looked like a massive private late and waterfall and huge glass windows wrapping around the house and a tower that was at least as tall the the spire at the temple where he’d grown up. The roof looked like it was tiled in crystal even, the sort of vanity material that would be incredibly expensive to maintain.
And he was delivering a bunch of pool toys to this place.
Carefully, he drove down the road, hyper aware that he was an intruder in the neighborhood and on alert for anyone in a fancy alt mode or a fancier transport. He pulled into the delivery drive, helpfully marked and on the side of the mansion opposite the lake, and stopped under a shaded overhang. Carefully, he hopped out of his delivery transport and walked to the door in the side of the house.
After a few kliks the door slid open and a white and red mech glared out at him. “What?”
“Uh,” Rodimus blinked as he took in the mech and their medic’s decals quickly. “Delivery for Cliffjumper?”
“Oh what’s the overgrown fish adding to their habitat now?” The medic sighed. “Bring it in, there’s nowhere to leave packages out there.”
“Yessir!” Rodimus nodded and stepped away from the door. Then he dashed to the rear of his transport and opened the hatch. He grabbed the first waterproof crate of toys and carried it back to the door.
The medic was holding it open when he came back. “Does it need signed for?”
“Yeah, sorry.” He hoped the mech wouldn’t be too mad. He seemed kind of grumpy.
“No, it’s fine. How much is there?”
“Two cases. Where can I put it?” The box wasn’t heavy, but it was awkward and he didn’t want to stand around with it.
“Bring it this way, follow me.” The medic let go of the door and led him into the mansion.
As they walked, Rodimus became increasingly aware of the odd layout of the house. Parts of the floor looked like they were clear glass over water, and there were definitely tubes filled with water weaving in and out of the walls and ceiling. There were fish swimming lazily by occasionally, but not enough to justify the amount of space that was devoted to so much water.
Then they stepped into a large room, where several of the tubes emptied into a sunken social area. And it had to be a social area, because there were three mechs resting there and chattering to each other in a high-pitched chirpy language.
Three mechs with scaled tails instead of legs.
“Holy frag, are those Mers?” Rodimus asked, without any conscious thought. He cringed the moment the words left his mouth.
“Yep.” The medic continued forward to the edge of the social area. “Cliff, delivery.”
“Thanks, Ratch.” One of the Mers, red with little nubs on his head that might be fins or some kind of sensor in the water, grinned and approached. “Hi! Do you need me to sign for it?”
“Uh, yeah.” Rodimus set the box down and reached into his subspace for the appropriate data pad. He held it out to the Mer. “It’s touchscreen, you can just use your finger.”
“Thanks,” the Mer replied. Then he lifted an impressively clawed hand to the pad and scribbled something that looked like it might have been a name-gyph if he were generous with the description. Then he looked at the box with a small frown. “Is this all of it?”
“Nah, there’s another crate. But I don’t exactly remember how to get back to the door.”
“I’ll take you,” Cliffjumper told him, grin returning. “Ratch is gonna want some private time with Drift anyway.”
“Yeah, okay.” Rodimus turned and followed, when the Mer ducked into the one of the tubes and started swimming along the floor. Then he was startled all over again when they reached the door and the Mer popped out of an opening next to it. “Is this whole place built like that? So you can swim everywhere?”
“Yep, everywhere but the top floors of the tower. That’s Mirage’s private space. We’ve all got our own rooms, and he made sure we could get anywhere we wanted, too.”
When he heard Mirage’s name, everything about the house started to make sense. Everyone had seen the news about the Mer trafficking ring House Specter had been running, everyone had seen the trial, and everyone had read the gossip about the new head of the house moving injured Mers into his private residence despite how it appeared to anyone else.
“You’re one of the rescued Mers!” Rodimus clapped his hand over his mouth as soon as he spoke. He didn’t know what it was about this place, but it was making him forget every lesson in manners that the priests had ever taught him. “Sorry, sorry, that was rude. I didn't mean to make you think about it again.”
“It’s okay.” Cliffjumper shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t mind if you talk about it, but if you’re gonna be a regular, you don’t want to bring it up around Drift or my brother.”
“I won’t bring it up unless one of you does first.” Rodimus laid a hand over his spark. “I promise. Though I don’t know if I’m going to be a regular driver for your route or not, yet.”
“Well, if you are, it might be nice. Your plating kinda makes me think of home.” Cliffjumper sighed. “You’d fit right in with the Mer from our family pod.”
“Yeah?” Rodimus opened the door so he could get the other crate.
“Yeah. We had a lot of red and gold.” Cliffjumper looked a little wistful as he spoke, and Rodimus decided to step outside and give him a minute to compose himself. And that seemed to have been the right idea, because the Mer was smiling again when he came back. “Hey, do you have anywhere else to go after this? Cause we’re having a barbecue tonight and ‘Raj said we can invite anyone we want to.”
Rodimus considered the invitation for a klik. His transport did have to back in the garage by by 22:00, but that was six groons from now. And he’d left this delivery for last on purpose, so there was nothing else on his calendar. And the Mers were fascinating, and no one else at the temple had ever had a chance to meet one before…
“I have to be back at the garage by 22:00, but sure.” Rodimus grinned as Cliffjumper punched the air.
“Great! I’ll introduce you to everyone and let Ambrosia know we’ve got another guest! Do you like titanium tuna?”
At the question, Rodimus immediately felt over his head. But tonight would be full of strange, new experiences, probably. “I’ve never had it.”
“Never? Oh wow, even Jazz had tried it when i asked before. I hope you like it! Come on, I’ll take you back to the others.”
Rodimus followed the red Mer back to the social room, where the medic was seated by the edge of the pool now, with a white and red Mer resting their head on his thigh. They looked… intimate and it felt a little bit like he was interrupting something.
“Hey guys, guess what!” Cliffjumper popped up out of the water with a splash, making the yellow Mer on the other side of the pool sputter. “He’s gonna stay for the barbecue!”
“You invited the delivery driver?” The medic, Ratch he reminded himself, asked dryly.
“Sure! He’s cool, as Jazz would say.” Cliffjumper grinned. The he pointed at the yellow Mer. “So that’s my twin, Bumblebee.”
Bumblebee waved hesitantly.
“And that’s Drift,” he pointed at the white and red Mer, “And you met Ratchet. And that’s Mirage coming in off the patio.”
Rodimus was startled by the door sliding open a klik later and a gorgeous blue and white mech stepping inside. “Oh, hello.”
“Hi,” Rodimus replied with only a little bit of a squeak in his voice. “I’m Rodimus. Cliffjumper said I could stay for dinner.”
“Then put your parcel down and make yourself comfortable.” Mirage smiled. “I will alert the kitchen staff.”
Quickly Rodimus complied. And then Cliffjumper dragged the first crate into the water, which explained exactly why they had been shipped in waterproof crates instead of normal cargo boxes. And then Bumblebee swam up curiously, and got splashed by his brother and Rodimus edged away from the pair of twins to the relative safety of the medic and the other Mer.
“I hope he didn’t badger you into staying,” Ratchet said to him as Rodimus sat down on the wet floor.
“Or bully you,” Drift added, lifting his head from Ratchet’s thigh and turning his face toward Rodimus.
Rodimus felt his optics widen for a klik as he realized Drift’s eyes were the kind of dead white that meant the Mer couldn’t see. “No, he just asked if I had anywhere to be. And then said I had to try the titanium tuna.”
“He makes everyone try Ambrosia’s titanium tuna.” Ratchet nodded. “If you were framed as a racer, not just modded, though, you’ll probably only want a small portion. It takes a while to process.”
“Thanks for the warning.” Rodimus smiled. “So tell me more about this place, will you? Cliff said the whole mansion is modified for Mers?”
“For Mer, the singular and plural are the same, in general and us in particular,” Drift replied. “The water corridors have textures so that I can find my way, and our rooms are all customized to our preferences. There are even spare water rooms, if there are other Mer in need in the future.”
“Lord Mirage tried to think of everything when he started construction, and he’s modified things as we’ve gone along.” Ratchet smiled down at Drift. “He’s worked hard to make sure they have everything they need.”
“Even a live-in doctor,” added a glossy red mech as he passed through the room. “Which way did Mirage go?”
“Kitchen,” Drift and Ratchet replied in unison.
Rodimus couldn’t help a smile at how cute that was.
“Thank you. Ratchet will you be able to assist if the emergency patient is as injured as I think?”
“Sure. Rodimus here can help Drift with the hors d'oeuvres as well as I can.”
And apparently, just like that, Rodimus was folded into their little group. “Sure, no problem. I might ask questions about the food, though. I’ve never been to a fancy dinner.”