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It was his fault.
Dawson had always been self-conscious whenever he works with Basil, despite’s the latter frequent introductions and references to him as a ‘partner’ more often then not Dawson felt just like the supporting sidekick scrambling to keep up with the brilliant detective. More then once, Dawson had felt like his only use was to soothe a witnesses Basil was unknowingly intimating or some other minor task, and if he failed those tasks he only felt worse.
And this latest incident, Basil may say that it wasn’t Dawson’s fault but if only he’d seen and recognized the trap he wouldn’t have gotten into trouble, and Basil might not be hurt because of him.
“Ow! Gently, doctor! I do need the use of my arm!”
“I’m sorry, Basil,” and he really was.
The mouse that came to Basil had been an old friend of Dawson’s during his military service in Afghanistan. It had been a messy case, the mouse’s son had been found in a crime scene besides the body holding the weapon. Basil had only agreed to look into the case because Dawson, like his friend, refused to believe the young son as capable of murder. Investigation on the case brought in another unsolved mystery of another murder, revealed the location of a lost diamond ring, the nasty pasts of several other mice in their client’s extended family, and finally ended when their client’s cousin, one who’d Dawson dismissed quickly because she had mobile difficulties, turned out to have been using her wheelchair only as a ruse and nothing more.
For Dawson’s incompetence the female mouse nearly shot him, if it weren’t for Basil knocking him out of the way and taking the bullet instead. Luckily the shot did not meet a vital organ, instead it had embedded itself in Basil’s arm. The murderer had fled the scene while Dawson’s friend chased after her, because Dawson himself was too busy attending to his injured friend. Basil had shouted curses and hurled insults that could be meant for either the escaping murderer or Dawson himself, and Dawson found himself believing in the latter.
Because it was his entire fault, if he’d only told Basil more about that girl’s history, Basil might have solved the case faster.
And now at the hospital, with the murderer behind bars and the case solved, Dawson again considered leaving Baker Street. Tending to Basil’s wounds, he couldn’t help but wonder if this could all be avoided if he hadn’t been present; Basil might have solved and cornered their culprit quicker instead of taking a bullet and providing a chance for the murderer to almost escape.
“You look awfully down, chap; can’t be the sight of my blood can it?” Basil raised an unimpressed eyebrow at his partner’s direction. Unimpressed, how many times had Dawson seen that look on his friend’s face? The doctor sighed, dejected.
“Basil, I was just thinking…your services have really proven yourself to the public, the police and university alike are trying to recruit you to teach, and you have so many applicants eagerly looking for an apprenticeship with you…”
“Dawson, get to the point.”
“W-well, I was thinking…you have so many other contacts now. Good mice who are eager to learn and more then capable of the tasks you may assign, I was just thinking…that you might want to find a new partner among them.” The sudden silence is stifling, and Dawson almost flinched, not daring to look at his friend’s face. He only looked at the bandages he was redressing, Basil’s latest wound, a reminder of Dawson’s failure.
If he didn’t look at that reminder, he might try to take his words back. He needed to remind himself that he cannot continue dragging down the brilliant detective any longer. Basil deserved a better partner, and he definitely deserved a better friend.
And then Basil spoke, voice strained, “Is this because of how I treated our client?”
“What?” Dawson’s eyes involuntarily went to Basil’s face, the grim look was expected because Dawson was treating a wound, but something about the expression said the wound wasn’t the cause. There was something else in Basil’s eyes.
“Are you leaving because of my admittedly poor conduct towards our client?”
Memories of the past few days sprang up in Dawson’s mind, Basil was admittedly more impatient and harsher then he usually was with their client, but… “You weren’t too different from your usual conduct, Basil.” When something akin to be confusion crossed Basil’s face – a rare thing to see, that was for certain – Dawson clarified, “You didn’t act too differently from how you usually do, why would I leave you for that?”
“I…wasn’t acting too out of line?”
“For you, Basil, when have you not acted out of line?” The attempt to lighten the mood failed, the look of Basil’s face didn’t change.
“I…was acting like my usual self? You mean I always acted like I disliked my clients?”
“Well, Basil, surely I cannot be the only one who’ve made comments about your behavior…wait a minute, are you saying you didn’t like our client? Not just the usual impatience? But why, he hasn’t done anything to you, the two of you never even met before!”
Basil turned his head away, almost a clear dismissal. Normally when he got like this Dawson would leave him alone, except when there was something he wanted to confront Basil about, and this was one of those times. “Basil, what has…”
“So you’re not leaving because of him?”
“I don’t…what has he got to do with anything?”
Again, Basil remains silent. Dawson frowns as he examines his memories of the last few days more carefully, if he was a capable partner and friend for Basil he would quickly recognize what was causing his friend’s dislike. Unfortunately, he came up with nothing. Perhaps he was looking at it at the wrong angle…
“If it was that joke he made about detectives and academics…”
“Oh drop it , doctor, if it’s not about him there is no need to pursue that line of reasoning…Owwww!” Basil winced when the doctor tightened the bandages, and finally admitted: “Alright! He acted like he was trying to take you away! There, I said it, happy?”
Dawson stared at the now sulking Basil in surprise, what on earth…oh, oh .
“You thought I’ll take up his offer to be his private doctor, and that’s why I’m leaving.” Dawson had in fact considered that his path, after he leaves the position of Basil’s clumsy and inefficient ‘partner’. He was touched, that Basil considered him important enough to be fought over. Basil was sulking now, embarrassed that he admitted it, and Dawson smiled sadly. “That’s not why I’m leaving; I’ll take up that offer because I’m leaving, not leaving because I’m taking that offer. And you don’t have to act like I’ll replace you with him, I don’t think there’s anyone out there who could take your place.”
“Then why ? Why are you leaving?”
“You’re supposed to be the better detective among us, don’t you see I have to?” Dawson gestured to the arm he was treating, “This probably wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t because of me! This isn’t the first time one of us got hurt because I did something stupid! I’ve fallen for traps, gotten distracted, failed the smallest of tasks you’ve assigned me, I can’t stay with you and let you get hurt again!”
“Dawson, listen to me…”
“No, you listen to me! I can’t stand knowing that I’ve caused you harm! I know as a doctor I can help treat your wounds right away, but it helps little when all I can see of them are reminders of how much harm I’ve brought you! The guilt eats me up, it hurts knowing it could have all been avoided if I wasn’t there, it hurts…it hurts for me to see you in pain.”
The doctor dropped his eyes again to avoid looking at Basil. Now he was the one embarrassed, but it was true, he didn’t want to see Basil hurt, his heart always ached so uncomfortably; his mind whispered traitorous thoughts accusing him of incompetence and the occasional suggestion of sinful actions. Dawson respected the other too much to do anything of that sort, but it was another reason for him to leave.
He wouldn’t drag the increasingly famous detective down, Dawson will move on and let Basil reach his full potential without hindrance.
“I’ll only cause you more trouble if I stayed, Basil. I have to leave, if only to avoid bringing you more harm.”
“You really don’t know me at all, doctor, if you can’t recognize that doing so would hurt me more then all these wounds.” Basil’s voice was tempered with reluctance, a confession he didn’t want to make, but in the stunned silence that followed he continued with a stronger voice. “I weigh the consequences almost every time I could consider being injured because of you, and my deductions always end with the same answer: I’ll rather not have you hurt, I’ll rather have some criminal injure me then take you away through a kidnap or murder.”
“Basil…”
“The last time I let someone important to me slip through my fingers, I regretted it, I regretted it for weeks and many sleepless nights. I examined every little detail of my memory, cursing myself for not acting in certain ways to save him. It wasn’t him anymore when I saw him again, it was like the individual I knew had died. Every moment I saw him again I could see traces of his former self, but it wasn’t him anymore.”
“Who was it?”
“Does it matter anymore? I’ve learned enough from the experience.” I learned not to let those important to me get hurt, I’ll take plenty of measures to make sure they can stay safely by my side , Dawson heard the unspoken thought. He also pierced together another image.
“Basil, I’m flattered with how far you’ll go for me. I’ll also like to say that I am not permanently removing myself from your life even if we’re no longer working as partners. I’ll gladly remain as your doctor, and as your doctor I must say it’s a bad idea to dwell on past relationships; especially if your partner happen to be great villains and possibly dead.”
Dawson had never seen Basil splutter and stammer like he did after the doctor finished his statement. Finishing up with the bandages he continued, voice sharp, “You still keep his photo around and I see how wistful your expression can be. It’s elementary when you’ve got that same expression while talking to me. Find someone else and move on, we all have to, dwelling on the past isn’t healthy.” Finally finished, Dawson stood up and turned to leave, perhaps out of their partnership permanently, but a paw suddenly grabbed his sleeve.
“Wait, Dawson…"
“You need rest, Basil, that arm needs time to recover.” He didn’t need to write a resignation letter, his partnership with Basil was never on contract…
“I have moved on, confound it, do I need to say everything out loud? I didn’t want you to leave me because of some fatal injury and I certainly don’t want you to leave me because of some undeserving guilt on your part for my own actions! That defeats the whole purpose of keeping you safe no matter the cost to me!”
And because Dawson had been hanging around Basil enough to pick up some deducing and what Basil may be indirectly saying, he understood. Thought he did, anyways. He was sure his face was getting red now, “You don’t mean…”
Basil was half sulking now, “Don’t make me say it, doctor.” And he didn’t have to, Dawson could hear the unspoken thought, I care more then our friendship requires .
For the first time since he started dressing Basil’s wounds, the doctor finally smiles, “Of course, I understand.”
“Where are you going? Are you leaving?” There’s a touch of alarm in Basil’s voice when Dawson heads to the door. Dawson looks back over his shoulder, Basil is staring at him, half-frightened and half-hopeful. The detective may be lacking in social skills, but his expressions could show so much. Dawson hopes his own is just as sincere.
“Someone has to tell Mrs. Judson where you’ll be for a while. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind just having one tenant around for the next few days, I certainly don’t cause the chaos you do.”
If Dawson had any doubt about his decision to stay, the smile that appeared on Basil’s face threw it all aside.