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It’s been an hour.
They’re sitting on the ground, backs to the rubble, facing each other at an angle, and it’s been an hour - since everyone else got out.
Everyone but them.
Buck's headlamp is placed on the floor between them, gently illuminating the space. It’s small, and it’s dusty, and there’s no way out. It’s a miracle neither of them are injured, but it’s the only miracle they’re getting today.
“You never should have come.” Buck says weakly. The words settle into the dark, and Eddie raises his head.
“You serious? After everything that happened with Bobby, you really think I could have just walked away?” Eddie’s tone is quiet but sharp.
“If Ravi and I hadn’t gotten trapped, you and Chris would be halfway to El Paso by now.” Buck says.
Eddie feels himself choke up at the mention of Chris, and he runs his eyes over their surroundings for the umpteenth time, the three collapsed, impassive walls of solid concrete, coming to a point above them.
There’s barely enough space to stand up.
“Yeah, well. We’re not, are we?” Eddie says bitterly, zeroing in on Buck, who he finds gazing at the ground, looking utterly defeated.
He lets out a sigh.
“It’s not your fault, Buck.” He says gently.
Buck looks up at him, his eyes glazed over.
“We might not get out of here, Eddie.”
Eddie shakes his head, but he feels his own eyes start to get wet, and he blinks hard.
“You’re wrong. They’re looking for us right now.” Eddie says, but even to his own ears he sounds unsure.
They don’t speak for a few moments, the reality of the situation settling firmly in.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you,” Buck says eventually, “after Bobby died. I was trying to be.”
“Buck, stop.”
“I keep thinking about what you said. That I never asked you what it was like… and I keep thinking that it should have been me who called you.”
“What are you doing right now, Buck? You think this is gonna be the last conversation we ever have?”
“I don’t know. I’m worried that it might be.”
Buck’s voice breaks in the space between them, and his chin drops to his chest again.
It makes it impossible for Eddie to get frustrated - no matter how badly he wants to.
“Okay,” Eddie says softly, “Well I forgive you.”
Buck raises his head.
“And if this is our last conversation, then I’m sorry. I should have just talked to you.” Eddie says.
“Well, if it’s our last conversation, I forgive you too.” Buck says, smiling slightly. “And…I’m really glad you stayed this long.”
Eddie smiles back, rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, I missed you too.” He says pointedly.
Buck nods, his smile turning awkward, and he shifts where he’s sitting.
“Um…” He lifts one hand and lets it drop into his lap again. “I’ve been sleeping better, with you at the house.”
“I’m glad one of us is, that couch is a killer.” Eddie teases.
“Yeah it is..” Buck laughs. “And, you know, I like waking up and knowing that you’re in the same place as me… and not a thousand miles away.”
Eddie squints at him in amusement.
“Yeah, I hear you man. I like being back too, it’s been nice.”
“Right…” Buck starts, “but, maybe… I like it a bit more than you do. Or-or maybe I like it in a different way. You know, if this is our last conversation.”
Buck’s talking with his hands now, and Eddie pushes himself up, sits forward a bit, his brow creased.
“What are you saying?” Eddie asks, confused, although he knows this version of Buck - the one that doesn’t know how to broach a touchy subject - and for some reason his heart is pounding.
For a moment Buck just stares back at him, the words nearly visible on his lips. And then it all comes out in a rush.
“I um… I think I should tell you something. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about because of something else that Tommy said and I haven’t told you yet because I was figuring it out and I-I was afraid to lose you and-“
“Tommy? When did you see Tommy?” Eddie interrupts.
“Uh.. a few weeks ago, but… that’s not important. This isn’t about Tommy, it’s about you. And-and me.”
“You and me?” Eddie says, and his eyes are flicking over Buck’s face, frantically searching for the meaning behind the words.
“Yeah,” Buck says, “you and me.”
They’re looking at each other directly now, the space between them suddenly too small and too big at the same time-
And then, as if on cue, they hear each other’s name, one after the other.
Buck! Eddie!
Their heads dart towards the sound and then they’re scrambling to their feet, heads ducked low, moving towards it.
“We’re here!” Buck shouts, his voice hoarse, and Eddie’s parroting him, calling out at the top of his lungs.
A few seconds later and there’s a flashlight darting through a crack in the rubble, followed by Ravi’s smiling face, and Buck and Eddie crowd in close to see him.
“I can’t believe I actually found you guys.” Ravi says, sounding satisfied.
“No offense, but I can’t believe it either.” Eddie says back, a smile on his face.
“Hang tight, we’re gonna get you guys out.” Ravi says, and Buck nods at him before he turns and disappears back into the dark, leaving silence in his wake.
Their shoulders are touching. Buck’s left on Eddie’s right. They’re sharing the same air, and the words that Buck just said are hovering in between them like something physical, preventing them from turning to look at each other.
Buck clears his throat and shuffles back, away from Eddie, who turns to face him, eyebrows raised.
“Eddie…” Buck starts, but Eddie cuts him off.
“You don’t want me to go back to El Paso. Is that it?”
“Something like that.” Buck says, but he doesn’t sound sure of himself.
“So convince me.” Eddie says, and the look on Buck’s face makes it clear it’s the last thing he expected Eddie to say.
“What?”
“Convince me to stay. You’ve been tiptoeing around it, treading lightly - enough. Say what you need to say to me Buck, just as if it’s our last conversation.”
“But Ravi-”
“Yeah, I know, they’re getting us out. But I can tell you’re holding something back, and I want to hear you say it.”
Buck’s brows are drawn together, his breathing shallow. He doesn’t look at all like someone who’s about to be rescued from certain death.
“I don’t know how.” He manages to get out, and if they were anywhere else but this cramped space Eddie might not have even heard it.
“Try.” He says firmly.
Buck says nothing at first, but Eddie just waits, heart in his stomach- and eventually the words pour out.
“Do you remember last week when the four of us had dinner?” Buck asks.
“Of course.”
“Well… your Aunt Pepa and I were doing the dishes, and you and Chris were on the couch.”
“I remember.”
“Right, and… I looked over at you guys…and I didn’t just see my best friend and his kid.” Buck says carefully, his words spaced out.
“…So what did you see?”
“More.” Buck says desperately, and Eddie frowns.
“I’m confused, Buck. You think that when I see you and Chris together that all I see is my best friend and my son? Of course there’s more, we’re family.”
“We’re family, sure, but what if you see our family differently from how I see it? You see me as Chris’s godfather, right? Or-or as a brother but that’s not how I see you.”
Eddie feels his breath catch in his throat.
“Buck…” He starts, but Buck cuts him off.
“It’s okay, I know. It’s fine.” He says, sounding bitter. He wasn’t forced to say anything, but it feels like he was.
“No no, hold on a second. You got this all wrong, Buck.” Eddie tries, but then someone’s calling their names again - Hen this time - and their little space is flooded with the bright light of an emergency flare, shattering their reverie.
“They’re here!” She calls out, her face pressed against the opening, and she’s looking at Buck and Eddie who are staring at each other, still as stone, their shadows flickering on the walls.
“I’m not interrupting something, am I?” Hen asks tentatively, “because I can leave you both in here if-”
“No, I think we’re ready to go.” Buck answers, tone defeated, his eyes never leaving Eddie.
Eddie, for his part, never takes his eyes off of Buck either- and confused as he is right now, he knows at least one thing for sure.
This will not be their last conversation.