Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Something had changed. Somewhere along the way, something had changed and Gideon wasn't entirely sure what or when, but he knew something was different now. He had always been acutely aware of Kremy's position, the constant presence at his side had become a comfort after a long time of being alone. If the alligator were ever not at his side, Gideon always kept an eye on him. That had been their arrangement since they met: Gideon would make sure that Kremy was safe, and Kremy would keep him fed. 

Somewhere along the way, however, it had changed. It wasn’t just a part of their arrangement that Gideon kept Kremy safe now. He wanted to keep Kremy safe because he genuinely cared about the man’s safety and well being. He considered him a friend. More than that. Gricko, Frost and even Torbek were friends. Twigsy was something closer to family. But Kremy was something else entirely, something Gideon didn’t think he had a name for. 

Standing in the open now, Gideon glanced over at his companions. Gricko was checking up on Hootsie. Torbek seemed far away mentally, which Frost seemed to be checking in on. Gideon felt a hand on his shoulder and knew immediately that his gator friend was at his side once more. 

“You alright, Gid?” That sweet Augue accent danced on the wind. 

“Yeah, I’m alright,” he responded, pressing a hand to his chest, where he still felt where he had been impaled on that tree. The wounds from the Jabberwock had been brutal, but the tree had been the final nail in his coffin. ”Been a rough few days. I can’t believe it’s been a week since we got that warning from Remy Garou.” 

“Yeah, it seems like a lifetime ago now.” He leaned into Gideon’s space. “I don’t know how we keep getting through this shit, Gid. And if I’m honest it scares this shit out of me as much as it comforts me.” 

“I don’t like being toyed with.” 

“Neither do I. And I can’t tell if whatever is doing it is fucking with the Good Baron or if he himself is doing this.” 

“You think he would do something like this? Send that creature to us?” 

“I’m not sure.” Kremy looked at the group, clearly distressed. 

Gideon placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’re okay, at least. Even if it is something fucking with us.” 

“Yeah.” The gator looked over at him. “I’ve watched you fall unconscious a few times, even just since we’ve come here to Prismere. But watching that thing slice into you and toss you around like you were nothing? I hope I never have to watch that again.” 

“I’m okay, Kremy. I’m not dead anymore than you are.” Gideon did his best to be comforting, but then was struck with a thought, with the words escaping his mouth. “Why didn’t you run?” 

“What?” Kremy asked, turning to him, his brow furrowed. 

“When I went down, I told y’all to run. I could tell it was gonna be a bad fight. Why didn’t you run when I told you to?” 

Kremy looked at him for a long moment, with an expression that Gideon couldn’t place. He’d never been good at telling expressions, but he liked to think that he had a good idea what Kremy was thinking at any given moment, but in this one he was extremely perplexed. 

“You go, I go.” 

It was such a simple sentence, yet the weight of them felt heavy as they hit Gideon’s ears. They had been together for such a long time. While both had their histories outside of each other, ever since they had found each other they had been nearly inseparable. And for Gideon, having someone willing to go to the bitter end with him meant a lot, too much for most people to understand. The only other person that he could even put in that same caliber was his father, who had died far too long ago. It was that moment that he realized that he had now spent half his life without his father, which made an emotion churn in his stomach.

”I’m going to be honest with you, Kremy, as much as the sentiment is appreciated, but if I tell you to go, you should go.” 

“Gid, I’m a piece of shit. We both are, yes, it's why we became such good friends. But I’m the reason we’re even here in this fucking Feywild in the first place because of my deal with Mr. Garou. I ain’t going to go on trying to pay that bastard back without my best friend at my side. I don’t think I have the strength. That’s your job.” They shared a smile. “I know you wanna be Mr. Strongman, Mr. Savior, or whatever, but this ain’t that type of major image, Gid.” 

The genasi shook his head as he laughed softly. “All of you guys have these insane magical abilities. All I’ve got is my fists. If I can’t protect you, the fuck is the point of bringing me along?” 

“That’s a load of shit and you know it.” 

Gideon was confused. 

”You think Twig would have gotten so attached to you because of your muscles? You think Frost and Gricko would be? You think that after all this time I only want you close to me because you’re a brute?” 

”What the fuck else do I have to offer?” His voice raised slightly, against his better judgement. 

Kremy sighed, shaking his head. “You’re my best friend, Gid. You know me better than anyone has in my entire life. You’re the only person I’ve ever truly let myself  trust wholeheartedly. I don’t feel safe if you’re not nearby. Even when the weird fuckin’ magic of this place makes me not trust a single soul, I know I can trust you no matter what.” He gently smacked Gideon’s arm with the back of his hand. “You’re a bastard, and I wouldn’t want anyone else at my side.” 

Gideon felt many things at once. He wanted to do several things, but chose not to do any of them. He felt his heart lurch in his chest at knowing that Kremy trusted him so implicitly. The feeling was mutual, perhaps even more so. Gideon had never questioned anything Kremy had done up to this point. They had both done some shady shit in their lives, especially since knowing each other. He had a feeling that the list of crimes they would get up to would only grow the longer they stayed together. He wanted to hug Kremy, but that wasn’t their relationship at all. The most it ever was between them, especially in front of company, was a hand on the shoulder. Early on in their time together, there had been a bit more comfort from Kremy when Gideon awoke from nightmares from his time on the train, but that had long since stopped, mostly due to Gideon turning to smoking a cigar when he awoke from one rather than let himself be heard by his companions. The others had only just heard about the biggest part of his issues, heard about why he was the way he was, why he lived life to the fullest as much as possible. 

And yet, he paused. He did not give in to his instinct, as much as he wanted to. He clenched his fist, felt his nails dig into his palm. 

“We should probably get back to the others,” he said instead. “Figure out where we’re headed next.” 

Kremy looked at him a moment before smiling wryly. They turned towards the Krew, joining the group in their conversation. If Frost or Gricko eyed them curiously as they came back, they didn’t comment about it. For now, Gideon could focus more about them and not the fire that sat in the pit of his stomach, burning him from the inside out. 

Chapter Text

The immediate panic had subsided once Kremy was able to realize both he and Gideon were in fact alive. He was never going to get the image of Gideon’s body beneath that creature out of his mind. His heart had fully broken so to see that his best friend was indeed okay was an odd yet relieving experience. 

“You alright, Gid?” He asked, stepping closer and placing his hand on the larger man’s shoulder. He kept his voice a little quieter. It wasn’t that he didn’t want the others to hear, more that he just wanted to take this quiet moment with his friend. 

“Yeah. I’m alright.” Gideon was lying. Kremy knew he was because of the way he rubbed at the spot on his chest where he had been impaled on the tree. ”Been a rough few days. I can’t believe it’s been a week since we got that warning from Remy Garou.” 

Kremy barely kept the shiver running down his spine at the mention of Mr. Garou. The things they had to worry about seemed so much bigger than that man, and yet he still solicited such fear in himself. 

“Yeah, it seems like a lifetime ago now.” He leaned into Gideon’s space, trying to have something more private. “I don’t know how we keep getting through this shit, Gid. And if I’m honest it scares this shit out of me as much as it comforts me.” 

“I don’t like being toyed with.” Gideon said gruffly. 

“Neither do I. And I can’t tell if whatever is doing it is fucking with the Good Baron or if he himself is doing this.” 

“You think he would do something like this? Send that creature to us?” 

“I’m not sure.” Kremy wrung his hands together, taking a glance towards the rest of the Krew. 

“We’re okay, at least. Even if it is something fucking with us.” Gideon placed his hand on Kremy's shoulder and he had to fight to control the bounce of his heart within his chest. 

“Yeah,” he said, though there was a flash and suddenly he was standing over the other's body. “I've watched you fall unconscious a few times, even just since we've come to Prismere. But watching that thing slice into you and toss you around like you were nothing?” He paused, shuddering slightly at the imagery. “I hope I never have to watch that again.” 

“I’m okay, Kremy. I’m not dead anymore than you are.” It was clear the man was trying to be comforting, even if didn't exactly come across fully. After a pause, Gideon spoke again in a quieter voice. “Why didn’t you run?” 

“What?” 

“When I went down,” he started, looking distant. It was obvious his own memory was back there. “I told y’all to run. I could tell it was gonna be a bad fight. Why didn’t you run when I told you to?” 

Kremy looked at him for a long moment. Gideon was smarter than he liked to let on, clearly loving to come across as the big oaf who's all brawn and no brains. But Kremy knew better. He knew that Gideon had been able to reverse engineer his own shackles in order to escape imprisonment, knew that the other had built a lot of the attractions for their carnival and Kremy was sure that had he proper funding, those rides and attractions probably would have worked as intended. And yet, even with all those smarts, somehow it hadn't seemed to click for Gideon the way it had clicked for Kremy many years ago. 

They were on this train til the end of the line. Together. The moment they had met was like two stars colliding and there was no escape other than to explode together. And that's exactly what Kremy intended to do. 

“You go, I go.” 

He watched the words wash over Gideon, watched him take in the words. It was the best he could do to try to convey his sentiment towards the man. He knew what he felt was deep and uncontrollable, but he wasn't going to push or ask for more. He wanted Gideon to feel comfortable, to maybe come to him. He'd never admit it to anyone, but Kremy was deeply scared that he would lose this man. He cared for him so deeply but didn't want to accidentally push him away. That would be his undoing, he was sure.  

”I’m going to be honest with you Kremy, as much as the sentiment is appreciated,” he smiled over at him, but it was obviously pained,” but if I tell you to go, you should go.” 

Kremy shook his head. “Gid, I’m a piece of shit. We both are, yes, it's why we became such good friends. I’m the reason we’re even here in this fucking Feywilde in the first place because of my deal with Mr. Garou. I ain’t going to go on trying to pay that bastard back without my best friend at my side. I don’t think I have the strength. That’s your job.” Kremy smiled up at him, glad to see a matching one on the other's face. “I know you wanna be Mr. Strongman, Mr. Savior, or whatever, but this ain’t that type of major image, Gid.” 

The genasi shook his head as he laughed softly, though Kremy could tell it wasn't a real one. “All of you guys have these insane magical abilities. All I’ve got is my fists. If I can’t protect you, the fuck is the point of bringing me along?” 

“That’s a load of shit and you know it.” How could Gideon think so lowly of himself? After everything they had been through? How did Gideon not understand that he was Kremy's one bright light amidst this land of darkness. “You think Twig would have gotten so attached to you because of your muscles? You think Frost and Gricko would be? You think that after all this time I only want you close to me because you’re a brute?” 

”What the fuck else do I have to offer?” Gideon's voice raised, like many times before when the two had gotten into verbal disagreements. 

Kremy shook his head as he exhaled. If Gideon couldn't see it, then he would have to tell him as best he could without being completely outright. “You’re my best friend, Gid. You know me better than anyone has in my entire life. You’re the only person I’ve ever truly let myself trust wholeheartedly. I don’t feel safe if you’re not nearby. Even when the weird fuckin’ magic of this place makes me not trust a single soul, I know I can trust you no matter what.” He gently smacked Gideon’s arm with the back of his hand. “You’re a bastard, and I wouldn’t want anyone else at my side.” He hoped the words would come across the way he meant them. No. He hoped that they came across more than he meant them. He wanted Gideon to truly know what he meant to him. Gideon was his person. He had known for a long time now. And maybe that's why he couldn't fight the jealousy that popped up now. Maybe the Feywild made it impossible to do so. 

After a moment that felt like eons, Gideon turned so he was facing the group rather than the woods that surrounded. “We should probably get back to the others. Figure out where we’re headed next.” 

Kremy looked at him, eyes training to catch some sort of glimpse of what the other was thinking. But maybe even this small confession had been too much for the man. He smiled his usual alligator smile as he shoved his own emotions deep down. They turned towards the Krew, joining the group in their conversation. He caught Gricko's eye, the one person who seemed able to read him the best, but thankfully was spared from any comments. For now, they could focus on figuring out what the next step was. And if Kremy added a glance upwards to his watchful paranoid eye, then who could blame him. 

He would not lose Gideon again, not if he could do something about it.