Chapter Text
Kenny McCormick and I went down to the bowling alley after school with the sole intention of making some money. We’d done that before. I was a really good pool player, especially for an almost seventeen year old, and it helped that I looked like a baby-faced kid who wouldn’t know one ball from another. This, and the way Kenny set me up, helped me hustle a lot of pool games.
The problem, though, was that it was against the law to be in the pool hall if you’re underage, because of the adjoining bar. However, the worker on duty was cool with us being there, considering that he was Kenny’s older brother.
Kevin was only twenty one, but he had a tough reputation and knew how to keep order. We lived in a wild town and some pretty crazy things went on in the bar from time to time. I looked around for an undercover cop when we went in. I can always tell a cop, but didn’t find one, although they weren't great at their job anyways. So, I went up to the bar and hopped on a barstool.
“Give me a beer,” I said, and Kevin, who was cleaning glasses just like every bartender you ever see, gave me a dirty look instead. “Okay, I’m kidding,” I said brightly, “a Coke.”
“Your credit’s shit, Stan,” Kevin said. “Do you have money?”
“It’s three dollars, for fuck’s sake! Can’t you let me charge a three dollar Coke?”
“Cokes are three-fifty, and you already got thirty dollars worth of Cokes charged here. If you don’t pay up this month I’ll have to beat it out of you.” Kevin’s tone was friendly, but he meant it. We were friends, but Kevin was a businessman too.
“I’ll pay up,” I assured him. “Don’t worry.”
Kevin gave me a lopsided grin. “I’m not worried, kid. You’re the one who should be worried.” I was, to tell the truth. Kevin was a strong, tough guy, so a thirty dollar beating up was something to worry about.
“Hey, Kenny,” Kevin called, “there’s nobody here to hustle.”
Kenny, who had been scouting out the two guys playing pool, came up and sat down next to me. “Yeah, that’s the truth.”
“It’s better that way,” Kevin said. “You guys are going to get in some real trouble one of these days. Some guy’s going to get pissed off when he finds out what you’re doing, and you’ll end up with a pool stick rammed down your throats.”
“No we won’t,” Kenny said. “Give me a Coke, Kevin.”
“We don’t have any credit,” I said glumly.
Kenny stared at Kevin with disbelief. “You’re kidding. Kev, when did we ever not pay our bill?”
“Last month.”
“You said you’d add it to this month’s. That’s what you said. So I don’t see why you can’t add six bucks to that.”
“Seven bucks,” corrected Kevin. “And, like I just told Stan, if I don’t get that money pretty soon, I’m going to take it out of a couple of hides.”
“I’ll get you the money tomorrow if you give us the Cokes right now.”
“Okay,” Kevin gave in to Kenny. Almost everybody does. It was a gift he had, a gift for getting away with things. He could talk anyone into anything. “But if I don’t get the money by tomorrow, I’ll come looking for you.”
I got chilled. I had heard Kevin say that to another guy once. I also saw the guy after Kevin found him. But if Kenny said he’d have seven dollars by tomorrow, he’d have it.
“Speaking of looking for you,” Kevin continued, “Ike was in here asking for you.”
“Ike?” Kenny asked. “What did he want?”
“How would I know? Man, that is a weird kid. Nice guy, but weird.”
“Yeah,” Kenny said. “I guess it would be hard to be a hippie in a hood’s part of town.”
“He’s not a hippie,” I interjected. “He’s a little odd, but he’s not a hippie.”
“Speak for yourself, Ken,” Kevin said. “This part of town doesn't make anybody a hood.”
“You’re right,” Kenny said. “But I sounded profound there for a minute, huh?”
Kevin just gave him a funny look and got us the Cokes. It was later in the evening now, and some more customers came in. Kevin quit talking to us, as it was getting pretty busy.
“Where are you gonna get seven dollars?” I asked Kenny.
He finished off his Coke. “I don’t know.”
That bothered the shit out of me. Kenny was always pulling stunts like that. I would know, Kenny had lived at my house ever since we were around eleven years old. His parents shot each other in a drunken argument, his siblings were put into the system, and my mother felt sorry for him and took him home to live with us. My parents had gotten divorced about six months prior, and I think my mother just needed something to help her feel good about life afterwards. Plus, she always did have a soft spot for Kenny.
I had been friends with Kenny long before he came to live with us. We had been part of the same friend group since preschool, and it seemed to me that we had always been together. We had never had a fight. We had never even had an argument, as far as I could remember. In looks, we were complete opposites. I’m a big guy, dark hair and eyes, the kind who looks like a Saint Bernard puppy, which I don’t mind as most people can’t resist a Saint Bernard puppy. Kenny was small and compact, with bright blue eyes, golden hair, and a grin like a friendly lion. He was much stronger than he looked, though, he could tie me in arm wrestling and I was an athlete. He was my best friend and we were like brothers.
“Let’s go look for Ike,” Kenny said abruptly and we left. It was dark and felt a little bit chilly outside, even though my phone was reading seventy degrees. This was probably because school had just started, and it always seems like fall when school starts, even if it’s hot. The bowling alley was on a street years past its prime, with a few other establishments with bars whose bartenders kicked us out when we strolled in, the movie theater, a pharmacy, and a second-hand clothes store that always had a sign in the window saying “We Buy Almost Anything.” From the looks of their clothes, they did. When my mother went into the hospital, money got so tight that I bought some clothes there. It’s pretty shitty buying used clothes.
We found Ike in the pharmacy reading a Reader’s Digest, which shows what a weird kid he was. There were plenty of Playboys and things to read. A little kid like him shouldn’t be reading that, but he should at least want to.
“Hey, Kevin said you were looking for us,” Kenny greeted him.
Ike looked up at him. “Yeah. How are you guys doing?”
Ike was the most serious guy I knew. He always had this wide-eyed, intent, trusting look on his face, but sometimes he smiled, and when he did it was really great. He was an awfully nice kid even if he was a little strange. He had big brown eyes and a mess of charcoal-colored hair down around his shoulders, a stark contrast to the tuft he always sported as a child. He probably would have grown facial hair except eleven was too young for it. He always wore an old blue jacket that was too big for him and kept a small Canadian maple leaf around his neck, tucked under his shirt. He was also addicted to Mike and Ikes. For years I’d never seen Ike without a bag of that candy. I don’t know how he ate those things all day long, day after day, or how his mother let him get away with it.
“You want a Mike and Ike?” He held out a bag toward us. I shook my head, but Kenny took one just to be polite, even though he wasn’t fond of sweets.
“You wanted to see us for something?” Kenny reminded him.
“I just wanted to tell you guys that my brother’s home.”
“No kidding?” asked Kenny tactfully, thumbing through a Playboy.
For years, Kenny and I had been best friends with Ike’s older brother, Kyle. The three of us had been inseparable, until Kyle went off to boarding school in Connecticut the summer before freshman year. We still kept in touch the best we could, but the years had made us distant
“He’s been staying with my aunt. He wanted to come home, though. He missed South Park”
Why the fuck would you miss South Park? I wondered, but I didn't say it out loud.
“Let’s go to the mall,” Kenny suggested. The pharmacy wasn’t exactly jumping with action. It was a school night and nobody was hanging around. “You come too, Ike.”
It was a long walk to the mall, and I wished for the hundredth time I had a car. I had to walk everywhere I went. As if he’d read my mind, which he was in the habit of doing, Kenny said, “I could hot-wire us a car.”
“That’s a bad thing to do,” Ike said. “Taking something that doesn’t belong to you.”
“It isn’t stealing,” Kenny said. “It’s borrowing.”
“Yeah, well, you’re on probation now for ‘borrowing,’ so I don’t think it’s such a great idea,” I said. Kenny could hot-wire anything, and ever since he was twelve years old he had hot-wired cars and driven them. He had never had an accident, but he finally got caught, so now once a week he had to go see his probation officer and tell him how he was never going to steal another car. I had been worried at first, afraid they were going to take Kenny and put him in a foster home since he wasn’t really my brother and didn’t have a family. I was worried that he would disappear off of the grid and from my life, like his sister had done to him. I was worried about Kenny being locked up. I didn’t need to worry, though. Kenny always came through everything untouched, unworried, unaffected.
“Okay,” Kenny shrugged. “Don’t get too shaken up on me, Stan.”
“Stan,” Ike said suddenly, “were you named after the lord?”
“What?” I said, stunned. For a minute I thought he meant God.
“Lord Stanley, were you named after him?”
I had no clue who Ike was talking about, but I decided to string him along. “Yeah, I was.”
“Was there a Lord Stan?” Kenny said. “Hey, that’s cool.” He paused. “I guess it’s cool. What did that guy do, anyway?”
“Can’t tell you in front of the kid,” I answered, trying to deflect from the fact that I had never heard of a Lord Stanley in my entire life.
Kenny just shrugged at that, and turned to Ike.
“Ike, old friend,” he said, putting his arm across Ike’s shoulders, “I was wondering if you might be able to loan your best friend some money.”
“You aren’t my best friend,” Ike said with his disarming honesty, “but how much do you want?”
“Seven bucks.”
“I have fifty cents.” Ike reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a couple of quarters. “Here.”
“Forget it,” I said. Me and Kenny looked at each other and shook our heads. Ike was unbelievable.
“It’s okay. I’ll get more money next week, for babysitting. I get five an hour babysitting the neighbor’s kids.”
“Is that all you get paid for watching all those kids? Five an hour” I couldn’t get over it. Five an hour for babysitting three toddlers?
“I think it’s enough. I don’t mind taking care of the kids. Who’s going to do it if I don’t? Both of their parents work, so they can’t do it. Anyway, I like them. When I get married I’m going to have at least nine or ten kids.”
“There goes the population explosion,” Kenny said.
“Well, now that Kyle’s home, maybe he can help,” I said, trying to be helpful.
Ike could tell we thought he was crazy. “Kyle’s got a job after school, he can't help. I don’t know what I have to do to convince you that I don’t mind it.”
“Okay, okay, I’m convinced.” I was also tired of the subject and I had to worry about how we were going to get seven dollars before tomorrow. Kevin didn’t get his rough reputation or his bar by being nice to people, especially ones who couldn’t pay their bills.
By the time we got to the mall it was almost seven o’clock. There weren’t many people there. The three of us walked around before settling on staying in the food court, sitting at a table while Ike stared into a package of M&M’s.
“Ike, what the hell are you doing?’
“Take a look.” He handed me the package, which was open at the top. “Put it right up to your eye.” I did, and all I saw was a bunch of candy.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” asked Ike. “I mean, look at all the different colors.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. If I didn’t know this kid better I’d say he was high.
“Let me look,” said Kenny, so I handed him the package. “Hey, this is cool! Look at all the colors.” He gave the candy back to Ike, looked at me, and shrugged.
Ike got up. “I should go home now. I’ll see you guys later.”
“We just got here,” Kenny objected.
“Yeah, well, I just came along for the walk, and now I have to get home.”
I watched him leave. “The kid’s weird,” I said. “That’s all there is to it.”
Kenny lit up a cigarette, the last one we had on us, so we had to pass it back and forth. “I know, but I still get a kick out of him. Come on, let’s go catch up with him. There’s nothing to do around here.”
Outside I spotted Ike at the corner. There was a large guy trailing him, and I had a sinking suspicion I knew who it was. When you see that specific guy around here you know somebody is about to have a miserable time. In this case, it was Ike.
“Come on,” Kenny said, and we cut through an alley so as to come up behind the guy. Three against one. The odds were great, except that Ike was one of those nonviolent types who practiced what he preached, and Kenny and I weren’t carrying weapons. We slowed down to a walk when we came to the end of the alley. I could hear the voice of the guy who was following Ike, and I recognized it immediately.
“Hey, Ike, turn around,” he taunted, but Ike just kept right on moving
“It’s Cartman,” Kenny whispered to me.
We were waiting at the end of the alley for him to come by, but he didn’t. He must have had Ike up against the wall. “Hey, Jew, don’t you answer when you’re spoken to?”
I rolled my eyes. When Kyle left, Cartman had taken to taunting Ike to fill the void or something. I didn’t understand how Cartman’s fucked up little brain worked, and we didn’t hang out with him anymore to know.
“Cartman, why don’t you leave me alone?” Ike sounded very patient. He never did inherit his mother’s temper, instead growing into a more composed man like his father. I moved over to the other side of the alley just in time to see Cartman pull out a switchblade, reach over, and snap the chain on Ike’s leaf pendant. It fell to the ground with a clatter, and when Ike reached down to pick it up, Cartman brought his knee up sharply and hit Ike in the face.
I was shocked at first. Cartman wasn’t much of a physical fighter when I had known him, but I guess the times had changed. I got over my surprise rather quickly though and looked over at Kenny, who flashed me a grin. We both liked fights. We ran out and jumped on Cartman, and got him pinned surprisingly quickly. I had Cartman in a stranglehold with one arm twisted behind his back, while Kenny jumped off to taunt him from the front. “How’d you like a broken arm, Cartman?” I said through gritted teeth, careful not to loosen my grip. His switchblade had fallen on the sidewalk, but I didn’t know if he was carrying anything else.You never knew with him.
“Okay, you proved your point. Let us go, Marsh.” Cartman said, followed by a decent amount of swearing. He must have figured out who it was twisting his arm when he saw Kenny. Me and Kenny were always together. Cartman had a special grudge against me anyway. I used to go out with his longtime crush. She says she broke up with me, which was the truth, but I was spreading it around that I broke up with her and was giving all kinds of cool reasons. Cartman was kind of stupid, so I wasn’t surprised that my lies drove him insane.
“Look, I didn’t hurt him.” That was a lie, because Ike was sitting there against the wall with his cheek swelling up and turning purple. He was trying to fix the chain and his hands were shaking.
“Let him go,” said Ike.
“Yeah, sure kid.” I gave Cartman’s arm an extra twist for good measure and then gave him a shove that almost sent him sprawling, to Kenny, who gave him a good swift kick. Cartman left, cursing us out partly in English and partly in sign language.
Kenny was helping Ike up. “Come on, kid,” he said easily. “Let’s get you home.”
The whole side of Ike’s face was bruised, but he gave us one of his rare, wistful grins. “Thanks, you guys.”
Kenny suddenly laughed. “Hey, look what I got.” He waved seven one dollar bills at me.
“Where did you get that?” I asked, although I knew good and well where he got it. Kenny was very quick, nobody had to teach him how to hotwire a car or to pick a pocket.
“It was a donation,” Kenny said seriously, “for the Cause.”
This was an old joke, but Ike fell for it. “What cause?”
“’Cause we owe it to Kevin,” Kenny said, and Ike almost laughed, but instead winced with pain. I was really feeling good. I could quit worrying about Kevin beating us up.
Kenny suddenly poked me. “Are you still in the mood for a little action?”
“Sure,” I said.
Kenny motioned toward the next intersection. There was some raggedy looking and maybe homeless guy, waiting for the light to change. “We could jump him,” Kenny said, but suddenly Ike spoke up. “You make me sick! You just rescued me from a guy who was going to beat me up because I’m different from them, and now you’re going to beat up someone because he’s different from you. You think I’m weird, but you’re the weird ones.”
Both Kenny and I had stopped walking and were staring at Ike. He was really shaken up. He was crying. I couldn’t have been more stunned if he had begun to dissolve. You don’t see guys crying around here, not unless they have a much better reason than Ike had. He suddenly took off, running, not looking back. I started to take a few steps after him, but Kenny caught me by the arm. “Leave him alone,” Kenny said. “He’s just all strung up from getting jumped.”
“Yeah,” I said. That made sense. That had happened to me before, and I remembered how scared it could get you. Besides, Ike was only a kid, eleven going on twelve. Kenny picked something up off the ground. It was Ike’s leaf pendant. It must have dropped off when Ike started running. He hadn’t fixed it very well.
“Remind me to tell him I have this,” Kenny said, stuffing the medal and the chain in his pocket. “Let’s stop by and give this money to Kevin before I buy some cigarettes with it.”
“Okay,” I said. I didn’t feel quite as good as I had before. I was thinking about what Ike had said about beating up people because they were different. There was a lot of truth to that. The rich kids in town used to drive around and look for people to give hell to. A year or so ago a couple of kids got killed in that mess and the trend slowly died out, but there were still fights and social-club feuds. I didn’t mind it much, unless I was the one getting mugged. I liked fights.
“Come on,” Kenny called, “maybe there’s somebody to hustle in Kevin’s.”
I grinned and ran to catch up with him. Kenny was my best friend and I loved him like a brother.