Archive of Our Own ^beta

Summer already feels like it’s been going on forever.

With his farmer’s tan from the stupid polo he has to wear and cargo shorts that are never loose enough; dry-looking palm trees on the horizon becoming more of an eyesore the longer he looks at them, the roof of his stand suffocating him despite the breeze from the ocean because it’s not doing much for the sweat beads trailing from his temple to his neckline; the background sound of screaming and laughing and the same playlist of Top 100 from years ago at full volume non-stop, Taehyun feels like he’s going to snap soon and it’s only his second week of working.

Eight more to go, fuck him. Maybe, somewhere along those eight weeks, he learns better and stops daydreaming about chasing daft teenagers with a broom like a cranky old person.

“You’re saying your bracelet fell off while swimming?” Taehyun asks the fourth daft teenager of today’s shift.

The teenager in question at least has the sense to back up from the counter. “There was this big wave.”

Taehyun nods his head like he believes him.

“I couldn’t get to it in time, you know? I just want a simple Sex on the Beach, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

Taehyun gets to his shaker and starts pouring fruit-flavored syrups along with a couple of ice cubes and skips the liquor, all the while not looking at the expectant face of the teenager. He pours the mix into a tall glass after he finishes.

“You should get better at lying if you want alcohol.” He tops it all with a little umbrella and gives it to the teenager. “Maybe try ordering for your mother next time.”

As he watches the disappointed teenager go, a voice calls his name.

Now, Taehyun hates working here. His latest interaction is only the tip of the iceberg and honestly, all in all, not the worst thing he has to put up with. He genuinely hates working here. Hours are ridiculous, housing is strictly on a first-come, first-served principle with lumpy bunks and if the pay wasn’t the amount it was he would never even consider working here but there is one thing that eases his tense jaw.

The thing is, Taehyun is confident in himself. He knows he has a good build, he worked on it, and he knows he is a lot of people’s type with his quick wit, deadpan humour and based on the past encounters, his sweet, sweet talk. He knows he is attractive, but Kai? Attractive is a pitiful adjective to describe him, he is more than that.

Kai is tall and broad, his shoulders only accentuated further by the swimsuit set he wears and those also cling to his thighs, his muscular and lean, tanned thighs. Taehyun wants to climb him, has wanted to since fucking forever but it’s never been this unbearable of a desire. 

He is charmed by Kai because Kai is charming, sweet and kind on top of being devastatingly handsome, and attractive is not the word for it. Kai is everything Taehyun wants in a man.

He’s also everything he wants in a friend, so.

“Working hard?” Kai says as he leans over the counter.

Taehyun is already opening the fridge, getting a water bottle out. “Is there a ‘or hardly working’ coming?”

“No, no, I know you’re a hard worker, Taehyunnie.” He smiles widely, taking the water bottle.

Kai’s hair holds so much water, still, and as he moves he wets everywhere including the counter and by proximity, Taehyun’s shirt. It feels sticky without even touching.

“Are you on your break?” Taehyun asks, cleaning the water drops with a cloth.

“Last couple cancelled, I’m free until lunch and then I have my break.”

“Don’t let Jiyoung know you got cancelled.”

Kai makes an over the top terrified face. “Who am I to not work at every given second of my shift?” He puts the bottle down and leans forward, shining and alive like a newly watered flower. “She would just put me in with the zumba class or something.”

Someone is snapping their fingers from the other side before Taehyun can answer and it takes everything in him to not attack the person, a middle aged man with a woman who’s definitely not his age. He turns away from Kai with a tight small on his lips and takes their order, a draft beer and a Malibu, extra strong. The urge to throw the plastic cup at the man is so strong when Taehyun sees him waiting and tapping his fingers impatiently, as if this isn’t a holiday resort and people have real reasons to be in a hurry.

“Here.” He hands them their order, body already focused back to Kai. He’s sitting in a wooden stool and staying for a while, it looks like.

“That was rude.”

Taehyun snorts. “We can’t all have the new wave hippies as our main guest interaction.”

“They aren’t all hippies,” Kai argues with a subtle whine to his voice. It leaves Taehyun wanting to goo at him, pinch his cheeks or something.

Instead, he goes for the classy escape route. “Are you free for the night show?”

It’s a bi-weekly event, Taehyun learned, for staff members other than entertainers to join in the open air theater plays, singing or dancing or whatever their hearts desire for the spare audience. Taehyun goes to them because one, he’s usually the one responsible for the drinks there as well and the customer attitude is a lot more humane towards him and two, he gets to see his weird colleagues/roommates be even weirder with their obscure song choices or definitely true story stand-ups.

“Soobin and I are gonna be the loudest clappers there.”

“For Beomgyu?”

Kai nods excitedly. “It’s gonna be great, he’s improving.”

The same dad Taehyun already served three times this afternoon comes back with a sheepish smile and asks for another beer. Half turned to beer pull, Taehyun keeps talking with Kai.

He disagrees with the improving comment but accepts the fact that he’s not really the expert on it. He’s only seen two routines from Beomgyu since he started working here and one of them was done drunk to an equally drunk audience in the fire escape leading up to their room.

“If you saw his first performance back then, you wouldn’t be this critical.”

“What was it like?” Taehyun asks as he eyes his surroundings for any upcoming people. The lunch hour gives them a moment of privacy.

Kai smiles fondly before talking. “His hands were shaking the whole time and to avoid eye contact he just kept looking at everyone, at the same time.”

“That’s not possible.”

“No, it’s not. He looked like a bobblehead.” 

Taehyun laughs at the image. “He has improved, then. His dog walking routine did make me laugh and I remember him holding eye contact.”

He holds eye contact with Kai now, his own words commanding him and it’s an exhilarating burst in his insides when he finds Kai already looking at him. It lasts a second, or less. Taehyun draws closer regardless.

Kai doesn’t back down when Taehyun leans forward on the counter, instead he starts drumming his fingers against it. That feels like an escape route too, from what Taehyun is not sure, Kai is not the one fighting against his natural instincts.

“I could never do that, you know,” Kai says, head tilted towards. “The stage feels scary even if I’m only up there on my own time and alone.”

“Maybe it’s because of those factors that it feels lonely. I think you’d be a good performer, if you had an audience.”

“Yeah?”

Taehyun nods. “I don’t know what you’d be performing but you’re with an audience all day, yeah? It’s not that different from teaching, you do some show and tell and they are hooked.” 

“I don’t think people would appreciate my skills on the board all that much without the waves.” Kai imitates waves with his hands at the same time.

“I would,” Taehyun says before he can think better.

It’s the false privacy, going minutes without interruption that leads him into the dream world consisting only of Kai. He backs down, hands automatically going to his shaker to do something instead of analyzing Kai’s reaction.

If he plays it cool, it is cool. Simply a compliment.

There’s a pleased look on Kai’s face, like a puppy’s, that Taehyun definitely does not notice and mirror after.

“Thank you. I could watch you work with your hands all day too, for the record.”

Taehyun stops whatever he was doing with his hands and looks at Kai. There’s so many ways to return the sentiment without Kai’s certain implications, implications he probably didn’t intend on because he ducks his head down as soon as he says it and even his almost dry wavy hair is not enough of a curtain to hide the blush on his cheeks.

This is not what he signed up for when he accepted Kai’s offer to work with him at the same hotel. It’s supposed to be a good way to fill his summer, get experience in hospitality and a golden opportunity to practice his foreign language skills. It’s so he gets to say I did it all when he eventually decides on a path and settles in, into his life.

Having a fling with his coworker who he will continue to see because they are studying at the same faculty is not settling in, it’s the opposite.

Still. Kai could watch him work with his hands all day, and he is here on his break, with Taehyun when he could be resting, eating or doing literally anything else because Taehyun on the clock is not good company but he’s here and he has bite marks on his bottom lip when he looks back up again.

Maybe Taehyun missed the fineprint. Maybe this is exactly what he signed up for. A pretty boy with pretty lips who also has the same hopeful fever Taehyun feels in his bones.

Taehyun steps forward despite the counter, containment far, far away from him in his Kai-riddled mind. “Do you—“

“Yo!”

They both turn to the source of the voice.

Yeonjun is next to Taehyun in a blink, already tying his apron. “Lunch ends in twenty minutes. Why are you still here?”

Kai blinks and gets to his feet. Taehyun wants to smack Yeonjun.

“I’m not hungry.” That’s a better option than assaulting him, Taehyun decides.

Yeonjun shrugs and turns to Kai. “You should eat something Hueka. We wouldn’t want you to faint under the sun.”

“Right.” Kai eyes Taehyun and repeats himself. “Right, I have a children's class at two.”

“Try the puddings, they were so good,” Yeonjun says, and takes Taehyun under his arm. “If you get too tired from all the kids just signal us and we’ll save you.” 

At the harsh squeeze, Taehyun nods. “We’ll try.”

Kai smiles one last time before saying goodbye and as soon as he is out of their field of vision, Yeonjun opens his mouth again.

“You’re gonna regret not eating, we have a wedding party. It’s gonna be non-stop.”

Taehyun appreciates the subtlety.

“I’ll get by.”

Another teenager whose bracelet has magically gone missing comes up then and Yeonjun takes it over without complaint, and Taehyun busies himself with the spectacle. Yeonjun is talking with the teen in the same manner he does when he’s complaining about the state of their shared room, saying brats under his breath repeatedly, and Taehyun wonders if what he sees in the teenager is the same thing Yeonjun saw when he first walked in, a leg-height kid pouting because he can’t get what he wants.

The addictive undertones are the same at least, Taehyun knows one sip of Kai is enough to make him hungry for more. He already is.

“My brother and I had a pact growing up,” Beomgyu starts with a hand around the microphone, the other playing with its wires, tangling it.

This is the first moment of the night Taehyun is able to sit down and relax his calves, muscles tingling from overexhaustion with a little twist in his ankles. He keeps one ear on Beomgyu’s childhood pact with his brother as he massages himself, taking up as much space as he can take on the amphitheater step.

Despite Yeonjun’s prior warning of the wedding party, it’s not that crowded. There’s a good amount of families not wanting to miss any entertainment the resort offers and some locals only here for the stage, topped with stray groups of people his age. The wedding party left with the karaoke monitor, thankfully.

He finds what he’s looking for at the bottom left, Kai and Soobin watching Beomgyu through their phone, probably recording the performance to post on social media or something. They look like they are having the time of their life, them and the majority of the audience, and Taehyun briefly wonders if it’s an indicator of his cynic soul. Not cracking up at the punch line.

Then Beomgyu moves to another routine involving a spot on impression of Oogway from Kung Fu Panda and Taehyun breaks himself half from that. When he comes back to the stand, his good mood follows him.

“I think we should start ticketing people for him,” Yeonjun notes as Taehyun gets inside. “He’s gotten better.”

“Kai thinks so too. Did you know he couldn’t look people in the eye before?”

Yeonjun snorts. “Bobblehead period, right? I came up with that.”

“I thought you transferred here two months ago?” Taehyun asks with a high voice, pouring himself half a glass of draft beer. It’s late enough.

“Well, yeah, but I was working here before that. Kai didn’t tell you?”

Taehyun shakes his head, takes a big sip and waits for Yeonjun to continue.

Yeonjun leans back to one of the shelves. “Beomgyu and I were here first, then came Kai for the summer. I think four years ago? He was newly out of high school, I remember that.”

High school Kai sounds cute even without evidence for it, Taehyun just knows it.

“Why did you transfer if you were gonna come back anyway?” he asks just to be difficult.

He gets a slap on the shoulder for it. “I didn’t think I’d come back now, did I? My former place refused to raise my pay.”

“You get the same pay as me.”

When the whine he expects doesn’t come, Taehyun eyes Yeonjun and sees a guilty expression on his face.

“You get more than me? How? We do the same work.”

“It’s temporary. I’m gonna go back to working at the restaurant bar next week and that one has a different clientele.”

“Fuck, I should’ve started earlier,” Taehyun says and downs the remaining beer, bitter taste reflecting his feelings so good that it takes a second to realize it. “Wait, does that mean you’re only here to babysit me?”

Yeonjun tilts his head, a smirk forming on his lips. “I think Jiyoung said to help in adjusting, if that helps.”

“It doesn’t.”

Taehyun spots a group coming towards them and gets himself ready, same as Yeonjun. For a while, it’s a lot of watered down cocktails, bitter tasting beers and explaining to the couple glued together that they cannot open a new bottle here, it has to be paid for beforehand or used elsewhere and little talking happening between them. The stand up and applauses following gets drowned in the ridiculously detailed orders and slowly, as the crowd goes for the rooms holding their drinks and night truly becomes night, a summer night with cricket symphonies and the buzzing from the street lights carrying the hotel’s logo, only the people Taehyun knows stays behind.

Yeonjun and Taehyun’s shift doesn’t officially end until midnight, so they don’t leave the stand. Instead, Yeonjun calls for their friends while Taehyun starts tidying up.

He puts the dirty glasses in the case one moment, and the next Beomgyu is by him, crowding in with the widest smile Taehyun has seen on him yet.

“Did you like it? Did you laugh? Which part did you laugh the most? Was it—“

Taehyun chuckles. “It was good, I laughed multiple times but especially at your Grand Master Oogway impression. That was gold.”

“I told you adding that was a good idea,” Soobin says from behind him somewhere. He is looking at Taehyun when he turns around. “He wasn’t sure if everyone would get it.”

“But it’s Kung Fu Panda,” Taehyun says.

Soobin hums. “But it’s also Kung Fu Panda, hence the hesitation.” He looks at Beomgyu next. “You’re glad you listened to my advice now, aren’t you?”

Because there is a counter dividing them Beomgyu doesn’t headbutt him, Taehyun picked up on it being a habit along his two weeks, but he leans forward up on his toes. “This is my night, don’t ruin it.”

“Nothing can ruin it Beomie, don’t worry.” Soobin pets Beomgyu’s hair, not at all affected by the other’s threatening aura.

“Damn right it can’t,” Beomgyu says, falling back on his feet and getting more comfortable with half his weight still on the counter. “Did you record it like I told you to?”

Soobin nods. “Kai and I did it like you wanted to, you control freak, you can look at them later.”

Taehyun hears Kai before he sees him. “I already sent it to you.”

Kai’s movements have a leisure to them, all heavy and slow as he sits down on one of the big rocks near the stand and pulls one of his legs up to his chest. His shorts fold with it, drawing up and showing even more skin. His sun-kissed skin glows under the moonlight despite the interferences from the ugly street light he’s a meter away and Taehyun questions his sanity.

On what earth they are to be only friends?

Kai notices his staring, gives him a head salute and smiles sweetly. He returns the gesture and goes back to stacking the dirty glasses, his hold is slippery from the sweat starting to pool in his palms. 

It was easier being Kai’s friend when they were only seeing each other weekly, from class to class and for occasional after class snacks. He was always aware of Kai’s appeal but it was never this loud, on his face except for their first meeting: in a party back at the beginning of their junior year with a very inviting bedroom door, two strangers with no ties to hold dearly and no consequences for empty promises. Kai was beautiful back then too, in a white flowy button up that Taehyun had a fun time unbuttoning later in the evening and with short, darker hair than now styled carelessly. He had cat-like eyes, curious and excited for Taehyun and that was enough to lead them into the early hours of the next morning.

After months and months of friendship though, built on that with the very same purpose Taehyun is trying his hardest to stay loyal to, Kai’s allure is not something he can get caught up in. They became friends because the morning after awkwardness was something they apparently didn’t have a handle on and there was just no way to avoid each other.

Working together, sleeping in the same room and sharing almost everything from lunch breaks to sometimes shampoo when Kai is too lazy to get his is worse than sharing one class weekly.

Taehyun steals a glance at Kai, then forces himself to take in every other thing and person in his environment with the same amount of care. Kai is still in the same position, talking about what to do next with Soobin who is now on his feet, swaying. Beomgyu’s still by his side but his attention is not on Taehyun, he too is grossed in the conversation happening between Kai and Soobin. That leaves Yeonjun.

The last he looked, he was crouched down organizing today’s leftovers. Taehyun leans down next to him, offering his help since he’s done with his part of the closing. Yeonjun shakes his hand, saying he’s almost finished.

“You can get the trolley ready though,” Yeonjun adds.

Taehyun gets the trolley from the back of the stand, sets it up with the least trouble he had since he learned how to do it and looks down to Yeonjun with a proud smile on his face.

“See? You don’t need me supervising anymore.”

Taehyun fakes a pout. “I’d still appreciate the help.”

Yeonjun grunts as he attempts to get up, his footing probably not solid and falls back. Taehyun catches him, pulls him up from his arms and says “You do too, see?” with the same tone of chipper Yeonjun used before.

“Message received,” Yeonjun says with tight lips. Taehyun doesn’t think he’s genuinely offended, working with him for the last two weeks has opened the door for some good character analysis. He isn’t the type to get worked up over silly bantering.

Taehyun sees him get up from his peripheral vision. “You need help?” Kai says, ready to get inside the stand.

“We got it, you guys go ahead.” Yeonjun slaps the case he just put on the trolley. “This guy will do most of the work anyway.”

Taehyun carries the remaining two cases without contributing.

As Yeonjun and Taehyun follow the others, halfway out the theatre area, Soobin turns around and starts walking backwards in rhythm with them. The rattle of the glasses with every wheel turn is too loud to catch what he’s saying.

Taehyun stops moving. “Sorry, can you repeat that?”

“I was asking if you two were tired.” Soobin looks back and forth between them. “Soojung has some flavored packs he nicked from an early departure and Yeosan and Yeejin are gonna be at the park cleaning for a while. We’re gonna go to them.”

Behind him Beomgyu does a vague smoking gesture that puts a smile on Taehyun’s face.

“I’m down,” Taehyun says shrugging, then waits for Yeonjun’s answer before he starts pushing.

The pathway to the kitchen is obstructed by a bunch of imitation rocks stuck together to limit access to those without the insider knowledge, just before the turn for the main hotel building. Yeonjun wants to get his jacket from the room and Soobin has to plug in his phone, so when they get to the imitation rocks Taehyun bids his goodbye and steps forward to move the rocks. He can meet them at the park.

He almost hits the trolley, now standing closer than before with Kai behind the wheels.

“Put them back, we need to cover our tracks,” Kai whispers, looking back and on the alert. It takes Taehyun a second to realize he’s acting.

He does what he is told and looks up to Kai like a true side-kick in a spy movie, eager and hesitant at the same time. Taehyun at least would end up with the protagonist if this were a movie.

“You don’t need something from the room? It sounded like we’re gonna be out for a long time.”

Kai shakes his head. “Beomgyu’s got it covered.”

The walk up to the kitchen is bumpy, making the noises from the movement even more loud but Taehyun enjoys the silence between them. Whatever they are not saying, there’s a glance or two conveying so much more and when Taehyun slows his pace to match with Kai, he even gets a full on smile. Simplicity in just existing next to each other reminds Taehyun of their time back in school, meeting up just for motivation and rewarding themselves with mundane little things afterwards, without much conversation happening.

Taehyun likes that about Kai, his welcoming spirit. Taehyun himself has too many strong opinions and is loud with them like he has a megaphone over his brain, in contrast Kai doesn’t offer his two cents on things unless he is directly asked about them and everytime he is, there’s a wiggle room. A definite ‘I’ in his sentences, mindful of who is listening and what is being discussed. He even mentioned this job without pressuring Taehyun, just as a way to earn easy money with good company.

Taehyun also likes Kai’s arms when he helps him lift the cases. After they are done and the trolley is once again folded to save space, Taehyun thanks him.

“It’s nothing,” Kai says with a wave. “And this way we can hang out together.”

Taehyun hugs himself to have something to do with his hands as they walk side by side. “We already hang out together, everyday actually.”

“Yeah, I see you looking at me.”

What. “What?”

If Kai notices Taehyun’s alarm, he isn’t obvious about it. “You know, we work close and whenever I look, you’re usually looking right back at me.” He moves a hand at almost every word as though he’s reenacting. “And we don’t usually get to do this, you know? We used to see each other less but I feel like we did so much more.”

That doesn’t fit with the memories Taehyun has of their friendship. If anything, Taehyun’s first priority in making plans with Kai was always having himself some peaceful time.

He doesn’t know how to say that without coming off as rude, or worse, just spilling his guts in the process of making himself clear. The best thing he can come up with is a (questionably) questioning grunt.

Kai’s eyebrows go up with just a ghost of a frown, delicate all around. “I just miss you I guess—I don’t know—I thought we would have more time together.”

Something in Taehyun crumbles, it’s such an honest reaction that he feels like he is the one under the spotlight, vulnerable and suddenly too small.

“You told me about the bartender job because you wanted to see me more,” Taehyun says. It’s not exactly a question but Kai can take all the steps back if he wants, a wiggle room.

What Kai does next sets fire to the room Taehyun so sensitively built.

He stops walking, and with a big step forward cuts in front of Taehyun, leering at him with open eyes. There’s a tilt to his head that reminds Taehyun of his cat when something odd happens.

“What did you think I did it for?”

In all the time between Kai’s offer, the interview with the manager and the actual working together, Taehyun didn’t let himself think about it lest he backed down from it. Thinking means analyzing which always leads to agonizing at every little possibility and every other one he cannot have wandering around his mind if he is to work next to the object of all his desires for the next two months.

“I thought that,” Taehyun says, breathless at his last word. “The same as you.”

“Did you?” Kai’s cat-like features blur into a smile. “So you miss me too?”

It’s a knee-jerk reaction for Taehyun, running. “I wouldn’t go that far.” He side steps Kai and heads to the park. They’re almost there.

“No?” Kai says behind him. When nothing comes from Taehyun, he catches up to him. “I want this to be a bonding experience for us.”

Taehyun peeks at him. “Didn’t we already have enough of them?”

“You can’t have too many.”

No, Taehyun wants to argue, you can have too many of them if one side of the bonder is a horny fucker.

Kai must see something on his face, because he exhales and stops Taehyun with a hold on his shoulder.

He keeps his hand while he talks. “Can I be honest?”

Nothing good ever comes out from a question like that. Taehyun still nods, anxious to hear Kai’s honesty.

“Like completely transparent?”

“Okay.”

Kai hesitates before his next words, mouth opening and closing a few times. His lips round, eyes on Taehyun with a strong hold on his shoulders. Kai’s honesty is either going to make his whole night or it will be the worst blue balls of his life.

“I think we have fun together.”

It’s the first one.

“And you’re a really good friend, without you I would be buried in summer school, really,”

Taehyun fidgets with his shirt, hands in need of some holding. Preferably Kai’s moonlit cheeks.

“But,” Taehyun prompts and watches wishfully as Kai retracts his hand. It’s starting to feel like the second option.

“But I don’t like that we have this past hanging over us, you know?”

“Oh.”

Kai suddenly leans down to look Taehyun in the face, he doesn’t even remember looking down, his eyes are wide and voice is full of panic. “That was fun too! I liked that, at the time. Please don’t get me wrong.”

Forcing himself to do so, Taehyun nods and waits in place.

“I think you’re a bit uncomfortable around me? Because of…”

Bluffing his way through confrontations is a way of running too. “We slept together.” Taehyun looks him directly in the eye and feels better when Kai backs down. “You can say it Kai, we literally know each other because of it.”

Kai grimaces. “Okay, yeah, we slept together and I think it’s getting in the way of us becoming real friends.”

“Because you think I’m uncomfortable around you?”

“Maybe? Uncomfortable might be an exaggeration.” Kai motions to Taehyun, hand hovering again like it makes his point for him.

Taehyun is going to have a mourning for this, when he has the time in between watching Kai in a tight swimsuit and listening to his heavy breathes in the night, but right now he has to save face.

“What do you want to do about it?” He neither denies nor confirms Kai’s assumption.

“I didn’t think that far,” Kai admits with a worried look. “I just wanted to clear the air.”

“Be honest,” Taehyun supplies.

“Yeah, that. I mean it when I say I want to be close with you Taehyun.”

Even though it doesn’t fit his own definition of the word, Taehyun agrees. “Closer.”

“Can we do that? Be open with each other?”

Being open with each other, in Taehyun’s case, would create a lot more uncomfortableness than Kai has picked up so far. Kai would have a non-exaggerated description for the way Taehyun stumbles over his words when they are together; he would take one look at Taehyun and his longing—because it’s always there, his want consumes and covers everything he is—and take the world’s biggest back step, this time bulldozering the whole room.

The knee-jerk reaction is back, led by the need for a moment to himself, and Taehyun just nods along to everything Kai says. Lost in his own mind with the disappointed taste not-rejection rejection leaves behind.

He can be as open as Kai wants, as friendly and comfortable and at ease as Kai demands because there is no other way, is there? Kai wanted Taehyun to work with him for more time together as friends, he stayed with him during his lunch hour because they didn’t have that much chance to just chat as friends, and he dipped his words in honesty because friendship strictly does not allow for the burn in Taehyun’s groin. It is vast and welcoming, like Kai, but friendship does not contain the desire melting off from Taehyun hungering over a taste, a moment longer.

It’s with great self-restraint that when they finally make it to the park Taehyun doesn’t reach after Kai and shake him, telling him off for being this oblivious. Instead, puts on a smile and sits down to one of the toy horses, close to Kai enough to not raise a query.

He hopes that’s the exact amount of friendship Kai asked for because he doesn’t trust himself to give more without kissing that glow off of him.

After his first week of working by himself, Taehyun is dead on his feet. As he enters the room, tiptoeing to not disturb others, he doesn’t even have the energy to change into his pyjama shorts or worse, showering. His bed is not exactly clean either, so he doesn’t mind bringing the filth of another twelve hour shift with him to the sheets. He does the minimum and lies flat on the bed with only his boxers, already half-asleep.

Almost one month into working at this place and Taehyun now can confidently say that he can cope with everything thrown into his way, his standards are definitely more manageable now.

He closes his eyes and focuses on his own breath instead of the snoring ranging from soft to unbearable coming from the room. Tuning everything out and relaxing his tense body now that he can.

Except, there is this noise that is distinct from the others; it’s neither snoreing nor  sleepy mumbling and because it’s so different from the other distractions, Taehyun can only hear the rustling of the sheets. Someone keeps turning on their bed, incessant and annoyed if the accompanying grumbles mean anything.

Taehyun waits for it to die down. He counts to one, two, and up to thirty until he can’t take it anymore and looks for the source of the noise, ready to be rude under the excuse of his shift.

It takes him a moment to catch the movement in two beds down, Kai sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. They both are frustrated, it seems.

Taehyun thinks about letting it slide, but in the end decides to ask, his whisper too loud for the otherwise asleep room.

“What’s wrong?”

Kai looks up, eyes searching the whole room.

“It’s Taehyun, in here.” He raises his hand. “Why aren’t you asleep yet?”

It’s hard to see in the dark, but Taehyun is pretty sure Kai winces at his question. Hearing him also proves to be a challenge, so when all he understands is nothing from Kai’s answer Taehyun gestures for him to come next to him, lying sideways to give him space.

With every step Kai takes towards him, his face becomes clearer, courtesy of the window behind Taehyun’s bed. He looks as tired as Taehyun, his eyes all puffy and red inside. He bows his head before sitting down and Taehyun involuntarily slides down to him as the bed dips.

“Why are you still awake?” Taehyun asks again.

“Because I’m a moron,” Kai says, rubbing his eyes.

Taehyun puts his elbow on the bed, his arm supporting him and waits for him to elaborate.

Kai looks back to his bed before speaking. “I fell asleep in wet clothes and now my bed is wet. Not even wet, something worse. It’s awful.”

Taehyun can imagine the awfulness. “Your body must have needed that.” He puts his hand to Kai’s arm to show support. “At least you got some sleep.” His voice go up at the end, words coming off more like a question.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Taehyun takes his hand back. “What are you gonna do now?”

“I don’t know.” Kai scratches his neck. “I can get new sheets or lay down some towels, but I don’t think it will help with the smell.” He wrinkles his nose like he smells it right this second.

“Do you even know where the sheets are stored?”

“It’s in the hallway, there’s a built-in closet.” Taehyun keeps his silence as Kai slowly realizes the mistake in his logic. “Which is locked down now because it’s two in the morning.”

“Exactly. Unless you’re up to wake Taekhyun for the keys.”

Kai slouches down visibly, like he’s withering. “I should just accept my fate.” His gaze turns to Taehyun, taking him in and Taehyun tries his best to hold it, to not cower. “I should let you sleep too, I’m sorry.”

Taehyun is busy thinking of solutions when Kai gets up, his attempt stays an attempt as Taehyun stops him, holding him down with a hold on his arm.

“Wait,”

Kai’s lips are parted, his eyes in search of an explanation.

“Just, stay here.” Taehyun gets himself up with a little force, on his knees in seconds. “Your bed is done for and even if you managed to sleep, it wouldn’t be a comfortable one.”

Kai doesn’t say anything so Taehyun continues.

“We’ll fit in here, it might be a little tight but it will still be loads better than sleeping in a stinky mattress. So, just, stay here.”

Even if Kai accepts, it doesn’t mean anything. Some traitorous part of Taehyun insists that it does, it means loads for Kai to willingly sleep next to him, whom he has to guide towards friendship. Another part of Taehyun is adamant about this offer’s one sided doom. A healthy middle would be to ease up on the convincing and to simply make room for Kai, perhaps a carefree one liner but Taehyun has never been carefree about anything in his life, not without putting all his care into it first.

Kai slowly turns his body on his one knee that is still on the bed and takes Taehyun’s hand from his arm, a loose hold at first turns to a gentle squeeze as he makes use of the space Taehyun provided him. It’s a tight fit, becoming even tighter when Taehyun lays back down. His head is almost off the pillow, with the same consideration Kai shows, and for a moment everything about it feels ridiculous.

Taehyun, for the first time, questions how they managed to have a one night stand all those months ago in lieu of a proper ‘nice to meet you.’ The touch of their shoulders’ feels awkward, predictably sticky and Kai’s elbow digs into Taehyun’s stomach. Not enough to hurt, just another contact point to ponder over much like their too tall for an enclosed bunk bed legs buckling together, trying and failing to fit together.

“I think we’re too big for this,” Kai says, a dry amusement to his voice.

“Or the bed is at fault.”

“Yeah, that too.”

Taehyun waits a second, turns his body and goes as far back as he can while he still has to mind the gap between the bed and the wall. He faces Kai, with a hand under his head and tells him to do the same. Squeaky sounds as Kai does so causes Taehyun to cringe.

Kai has a closed smile on his lips. “We should petition for new beds.” His breath travels across the distance between them, faint minty flavour surrounds him.

“It’s not that different from the dorm beds if you think about it.”

“Never liked them either,” Kai says as he adjusts his position, tucking himself and thereby making himself smaller.

There’s almost a Taehyun-sized space in between them, the prior touch points leaving their place to precisely decided gaps and it rings wrong. By all means, it should be a tad bit awkward to put two fully grown men into one cheap bed but aren’t blank spaces almost as important as filled ones as well? Literature 101, everything carries a meaning, no matter how miniscule or far-fetched it looks.

Taehyun holds his breath, taking in the situation and possible routes he can take. “Can you even sleep like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like that.” Taehyun points to Kai’s whole body with his chin. “You look like a fetus in the womb.” 

Kai’s hand goes up. “So do you!”

Before Taehyun can defend himself, a voice sounding homicidal yells at them to shut up, causing both of them to hold in their reactions. Startled and feeling guilty, Taehyun shuts his eyes and reprimands himself for being a thoughtless jerk, forgetting that people other than Kai exist. This is not some one on one time they created to take a breather from the rest of the world, not even close.

“Hey.” The hand on his shoulder opens Taehyun’s eyes. “I can go back, you don’t have to sacrifice your comfort for me.” His whisper is lower than before, so much lower that Taehyun has to strain his neck to understand him.

“Kai, please believe me when I say this.” He holds Kai’s hand, fingers intertwining and everything. “I don’t want you to go back to your bed.”

Kai breathes an ‘okay’, looking dazed, gawking at their hands and that’s what gives Taehyun the courage to do what he does next. He pulls Kai from his arm, getting closer to him in the process and it burns, naked skin touching and sticking together. He turns around and puts Kai’s arm over his shoulder, not too tight of a hold that Kai can’t let go if he wants to.

Taehyun doesn’t look back as he speaks, his momentary bravery running out from the lack of response or any kind of reaction. “And maybe I like cuddling.”

It takes Kai a second to respond. “Hm? What did you say?”

“I said,” Taehyun pulls Kai’s arm to make him hug his torso properly. “It works if we cuddle.”

There's a chuckle, an out of breath ordeal that Taehyun’s not sure who it’s coming from. Despite the arm around him, previous gaps are yet to be closed. For all the warmth Taehyun feels there are at least a minimum of two places he shivers under the air conditioner, something the friction from the sheets and his nervous legs lacks.

Almost like he reads his mind, there’s a pressure on top of his legs a second later spanning all the way up to his hips. “Is this okay then?” Kai asks.

It’s more than okay, painting pictures on Taehyun’s mind with the determination of an over-eager artist in front of a mediocre scenery, all colorful and soul pouring out of countless rainbows. Imagination is a wild thing, boundless and rarely based on logic; Taehyun sketches other scenarios either starting or ending with this, them on a bed and ripping from the seams. Bodies bleeding into each other, fragility covered band-aids guiding them towards more and better, safe and secure in the limited time they have. Not a minute to waste.

“Yeah, it’s—are you okay like this?”

Kai presses himself to Taehyun’s back, an act that Taehyun takes as a confirmation.

“Thank you.” Kai says, words tingling his nape.

Taehyun’s throat is dry and blaming the only thing keeping him from melting in the spot feels like cheating even in the privacy of his own mind, air-conditioner is a lifeline for him at this point. For all the talk about being friends and getting closer, Kai sounds awfully jittery; sweat pooling and disturbing the contained reach of Taehyun’s, crossing imaginary lines left and right.

“You can thank me by letting me sleep now.” Taehyun is nothing if not calculated.

He can calculate later though, when he’s not at risk of doing the hopeless dance of one-sided doom. He can think about how Kai in bed with him doesn’t feel one-sided at all, how all the little details add up and end with contradictions glaring at him.

It’s so weird seeing Beomgyu in his element after growing accustomed to the idiot of a friend Taehyun usually cohabits his summer with; a true entertainer up in the stage, leading the crowd without as much as a hair out of place and a confident sway on his movements. The night is young, sun just passed them by but Beomgyu already has the crowd eating out of his palm. 

It’s mention of a prize that gets him to actually pay attention to what Beomgyu is saying though.

“You heard it right, people! There is a couple’s massage waiting for you if you win!” Beomgyu announces through the microphone, hands holding two coupon looking papers from what Taehyun can tell from the distance between the stand and the stage.

He busies himself with the upcoming guests, from the usual plastic cup beers to happy families with vodka tonics of all the different flavors to their little kids who puts a smile on Taehyun’s lips with the happiness oozing out of them at the mere mention of a cherry slushie. The ones without the hotel bracelets are a bit harder to deal with if only because he needs to check each one’s ID separately as though his wasn’t asked for regularly prior to working here. They’re polite however, and that does wonders to Taehyun’s mood, not having to diminish his shift into a comically large sum of partially bald men with patience problems.

The lifting of his mood continues as he finally gets Beomgyu to his side, a small break for both of them as the participants decide on what they are going to sing.

He gives Beomgyu a tall glass of foamless beer with a wide grin on his face. “For working so hard, on the house.” Taehyun says.

Beomgyu inspects the glass. “Did you pay for it from your pocket?”

“No,” Taehyun says and gestures his head to the camera across from them, facing the other way. “This is the blind spot.”

“Cheers.” Beomgyu takes a big gulp from the beer, shivering after he swallows. “What’s it for?”

Taehyun nods his head to the guest calling him, multitasking while he answers Beomgyu’s suspicion.

“Can’t it just be from the goodness of my heart?”

“Nope, you were too energetic for it.”

Taehyun hands the guest her order, and gets back to Beomgyu. “Can the staff join in the competition?” 

“Technically, it’s open for everyone.” Taehyun smiles. “But you need a partner first.”

Of course, couple’s massage session equals couple's competition. “Are you up for it?”

Beomgyu shakes his head. “I have to keep announcing.” He takes another big gulp. On second thought, giving him that big of a glass might have been a mistake on Taehyun’s part.

“How about Soobin? Where is he?” Taehyun asks, already having an idea of his whereabouts.

“Making tomorrow’s breakfast, and Yeonjun is at the bar.” Beomgyu thinks it over with him. “Maybe try Kai?”

“He’s napping.”

Beomgyu furrows his brows. “So? Wake him up.”

Taehyun purses his lips. “He is too shy to be on the stage, he said so.”

“So?” Beomgyu says again, this time with a higher insistence. “Hold his hand or something, make him want the spa day as much as you. He’s not too shy that he can’t work for a good massage.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” With a stern nod, Beomgyu gets up and takes his glass with him. “I’m gonna go back and add you and Kai to the list, okay? Get him down here and sing your heart out.”

The last bit makes Taehyun snort, and he thanks Beomgyu with a shaky voice. After being left alone, his reasons for shakiness changes drastically.

The truth is, Taehyun has no qualms about waking Kai up from his nap. He has the rest of the night to catch up on sleep and Taehyun didn’t get to see Kai as much as he would have liked because they were working on different parts of the beach, he welcomes the opportunity to be in the same place with Kai with four open hands, or more; the days blending together clearing his vision and coming with the realization that he wants Kai more than he first thought but, there’s an equilibrium that he has to protect.

Taehyun spent a lot of time digesting Kai's unintentional rejection and everything that it entails. Kai can get behind the tall structure of friendship all he wants but Taehyun knows when someone wants him, it’s in the little things clumping together over time. The hushed breaths and diligent hands, words that have more than one meaning carefully pronounced with an expectant look, cowered and anxious. He sees it in the mirror too but more than that, Taehyun can see the role Kai takes up when he’s alone with him, a special version of him just for Taehyun.

Equilibrium he has to protect, on the other hand, is another issue. For all that he is certain about Kai wanting him the same way Taehyun does, he still brought up their past in the troublesome light he did, took one look at Taehyun and decided it wasn’t something he would pursue. There’s a reason for it, one that doesn’t break Taehyun’s heart in this undignified manner, he’s just not sure what it is yet.

He will find it out, get to the bottom of it even if it ends with more of his pride gone. He just has to be vigilant with his curiosity.

With the karaoke competition starting, the front of the stand clears out considerably, and it’s the perfect time for Taehyun to call Kai.

Line rings three times before a drowned out voice mumbles questions, full of sleep.

“Hi, sorry to wake you.”

Silence. “Hm?”

Taehyun laughs into the line. “Good morning Kai, sleep well? It’s Taehyun.”

“Taehyun? Why are you calling? Is it morning?” After his question there are some rustling sounds, one or two tap against the headboard, Taehyun guesses.

“It’s still the same day, don’t worry.” Despite planning this conversation out, Taehyun feels guilty for waking Kai up. “Should I call back later? Let you gather yourself,”

There are some more sounds from the other side of the line. “No, no, it’s okay. I’m awake now, what’s up?”

Taehyun leans his hips to the counter, looking at the crowd. “How would you feel about a free massage?”

“What?” Kai sounds dumbfounded. Good.

“There’s this karaoke competition, winners get a coupon for a couple’s massage at the hotel spa. I want to enter but I need a partner.”

“And I’m your first choice?”

Taehyun can imagine the face Kai makes, incredulous and gaping. “Well, no. Not exactly. But you’re my only one.”

“Hm,” While he waits for Kai to continue, Taehyun notices a child approaching. “Give me a sec’, I’m gonna wash my fac—“

“That’s okay, I have an order to make anyway.” He supports the phone with a raise of his shoulder and looks down to the kid, patient.

Instead of speaking, the kid points to the slushies. With the background noise taking his focus, Taehyun thinks that’s for the best and points to all three flavors one by one until the kid chooses the one she wants. He gives her the lemony one, crowned with a swirly straw.

“Taehyun?”

He gets back to his old position. “I’m here.” 

“I have a couple of questions first.”

“Shoot.”

“Can you even sing? Because I can’t and isn’t that the whole point of karaoke, like, I don’t—“

Taehyun looks at the couple on the stage, their voices definitely not made for public singing. He holds the phone towards the stage, waits for a couple of seconds. “Does that sound like they can sing?”

Kai’s breathing is all he hears for a moment. “Okay, maybe not the point but it’s still a long shot that we win right?”

“It’s gonna be voted by the audience, we just need to be entertaining.” Taehyun watches as the previous couple finishes with a high note and joins in the applause with one hand. “Look, even they get applauded.”

“I don’t know how to be entertaining.”

Taehyun considers this, the goal was never to be forceful. “We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but I think it could be fun, even without winning. Though I do want a good massage.” He pauses, selecting his next words. “It’s up to you, whatever you’re comfortable with. I know you said you don’t like stages.”

“It’s not that I don’t like them.”

When no further explanation comes, Taehyun provides one. “They make you nervous?”

“Yeah,”

“Me too, they make me nervous too.” His face is tingling even at the idea of it. “But it’s also a good kind of nervous? It could be a memorable part of our summer, a bonding experience for us, if you will. All we do is work.”

“Bonding experience.” Kai inhales, then exhales. It feels intimate in Taehyun’s ear. “I feel like you’re playing me,” He says with a small voice and Taehyun can picture the amused smile.

Taehyun bites down his smile. “Well, is it working?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.” Kai gives up with a sigh. “Okay, I’ll be there in ten. Then we can do the rest.”

“So I can play you some more,” Taehyun says.

There’s a breathy laugh, followed by a short call out of his name, the nickname version. “I’ll see you in a moment, okay?”

“Okay, bye. And thank you, really.”

“Hey, you know I’m all for the bonding experiences.”

Kai hangs up the phone with one last goodbye and Taehyun is beyond happy, the excitement from the possible public singing giving its place to the aftereffects of Kai. It’s nice to let go of some of the urges he held too tightly until now.

Kai’s ten minute promise extends into fifteen, time Taehyun spends with their song options and being an attentive bartender, and the extra five minutes explains themselves on their own by just a glance on Kai. Dolling up is the only description Taehyun can come up with.

His clothes are not the focal point, not by a long shot because Kai simply glows. The nap from before shows its effects, Kai looks rested and ready to take on anything Taehyun throws at him. The V-shaped neckline is perfected with a couple of chains, remaining undone buttons of his shirt feeding into the lovely aura he puts out. Washed-out white is a good look on his tan skin, freckles from the sun visible.

“I’m underdressed,” Taehyun says in place of a greeting.

Kai catches the compliment, prances. “I needed the boost. You look good either way,” he says, letting himself inside the stand.

Taehyun tugs at his polo. “Do I?”

“Don’t fish.” Kai says, looks around after with an apparent clumsiness. “Can I get something to drink?”

“Yeah, come here.” Taehyun motions towards the spot he put Beomgyu’s beer before, the sweet blind spot he discovered on his third week and has been taking advantage of since then. “Is beer okay?”

“If you have lemons.” 

“I don’t have everything for a proper Michelada.”

Kai shakes his hand. “Just salt and lemon juice is fine.”

Taehyun does as he is told, making himself a smaller version of it as well and sits next to Kai, both of them facing the stage.

Kai thanks him, fingers hugging the plastic cup. He asks after his first sip. “What do you have in mind then? I thought of some on the way but they’re all cliches.”

“Like what?”

“The first song that came to my mind was Love is an Open Door since we’re doing a duet,” Kai trails away after that, eyes on the couple who’s popping their hips according to the notes of the beginning of ‘You’re The One That I Want’. “Something like that,” he says, watching the scene with a smile.

Taehyun waits until the chorus, too immersed in the chemistry of the couple. They’re a couple beyond the stage too, it’s obvious. “I’m not too confident in musicals. They are a lot more theatrical than the others, don’t you think?”

Kai eyes the stage once more. “Yeah, you’re right. We need something laid-back.” His unoccupied hand goes up his neck, palms the chains. “I think something from the 80s would work great.”

“Yes, something everyone knows.” Taehyun thinks back to the 80s while sipping his beer. “Maneater?”

Kai shakes his head. “Love Shack?”

“Can you make the voice?”

“No.” Kai tilts his head, disappointed. “How about Mr. Bombastic? That’s a fun song.”

“Again, the voice.” Taehyun looks Kai up and down. “Can you even rap?”

Kai makes a sound, little grunts that indicate ‘kinda’ with the help from the shake of his hand. “I’m not bad at it,” he says, emphasizing the bad.

“That song is from the 90s anyway.”

“Do we have to sing from the 80s?”

“I mean, no, but I prepared myself for the 80s, you know?” Taehyun says, still thinking about all the hits possible from that time.

Squinting, Kai nods. They are silent for a while, both going down the memory lane of a time when they weren’t alive but lived through it all the same, the other contestants’ song choices firing the nostalgia. Someone starts singing Whitney Houston and that’s what makes the light go up in Taehyun’s brain.

“We could do something from Madonna, the song itself doesn’t have to be a duet.”

Kai gets his idea. “Ooh, let’s do La Isla Bonita!”

Taehyun sings the chorus reflexively, already in the mood for it. He grins up to Kai, who looks as excited as Taehyun feels. They are talking about the logistics when Taehyun has to attend to a group of people, all waiting to order. He leaves Kai alone in the meantime.

He is thinking of the lyrics he knows by heart, about how to make a show of it for the prize, sharing his thoughts with Kai. It’s a lot of swaying one’s hips to the rhythm and stepping accordingly, maybe some crowd play for the song’s storyline.

Kai asks if he can try something then, and after Taehyun’s affirmation he reaches for his arm, a light hold and a focused look. Kai takes half a step back, taking Taehyun with him and shaking his shoulders.

“Something like this?” he says, making a push and pull game out of it.

Taehyun tries to keep up, adding his own version of a dance. Their steps are not in sync, not at all, and the lack of music or the lack of correct music makes it even harder to do so but it comes easy to Taehyun; following Kai and copying his movements. He starts humming the chorus and Kai laughs before joining, turning him around at the ‘la isla bonita’ part.

“You want me to turn you too?”

Kai nods eagerly, not waiting for Taehyun to lead him and just turning around with their intertwined hands up in the air. He doesn’t stop at one, he keeps turning around and taking Taehyun with him, causing them to crash at last. Taehyun can’t stop the giggles, the freedom that comes from just moving around and letting all go. Kai catches him, a mess himself, and keeps humming the song while straightening Taehyun, finally stopping dancing.

Taehyun’s back is against Kai’s chest, not really touching but it would only take a slip of his feet. “What do you think of our chances?” Kai asks, out of breath.

“I would have fun watching us.” Taehyun turns around one last time, freeing himself from Kai’s hold but not distancing himself. He looks up at Kai, steadying his breath. “Maybe go easy on the swirls though.”

Kai smirks, bending halfway and opening his arms out like he’s about to do another one. Taehyun stops him, pinning him down from his shoulders.

There’s a moment, a second too long they spend looking into each other’s eyes and it builds up. One second becomes two and Taehyun’s hand slides down, down to Kai’s arm and his eyes follow the movement, a wonder in them, waiting and waiting like Taehyun. Everything feels monumental, like a bubble impatient to burst, building up and up. Kai gets back to his full height, stepping into Taehyun’s space during it.

Taehyun takes this moment as what it is, a chance. A chance to support his theories, to get a deeper look into the way Kai operates and most of all, a chance at them.

He squeezes Kai’s arm, just as a way to remind him of the hold. “Remember, this is karaoke. We also have to sing through all this.”

“I know,” Kai says, his eyes transfixed on Taehyun.

“We need to decide on the lines too.”

“Okay, we will.”

This is starting to feel like a game, one that Taehyun cannot win even with all his cunning and planning. Kai takes all the brain space he has. Then Kai wets his lips and all Taehyun can think about is that, mind going haywire.

The sudden voice of clapping startles him, bringing him back to earth. He takes a step back, this time decidedly distancing from Kai and keeps repeating the words ‘not the time’ again and again inwardly while he watches Kai collect himself. Not the time, not before he understands the reasons.

Despite their joint effort, because Taehyun can see the awkwardness physically manifest between them, they don’t come back from it, not fully. Kai cracks some jokes while they wait for Beomgyu to call up their names, Taehyun tries to busy himself with the bar business but there isn’t much foot traffic anymore and the air stays stiff all throughout. It’s not a bad thing per se, just a buzz becoming more and more loud as the night goes on. Taehyun even downs Kai’s forgotten beer on the counter before leaving for stage.

They don’t win.

Kai swirls all he wants and Taehyun learns that he can belt good enough that people whoop for it, but they don’t win. That honor goes to the couple that sang ‘Green Green Dress’ who, Taehyun later finds out, do theater. They deserve it, Taehyun himself very much enjoyed watching them and it’s not like it was a high stake competition for him. He just wanted some relaxing time and that time being with Kai was just a plus for him.

They had fun, regardless of the leash like possibilities they had to drag around all night they had fun and Taehyun can see it in the way that Kai smiles at him at the end of their song, not a bit reserved in spite of his stage fright and in the easy way he pulls him to Beomgyu’s side, sitting down together and commenting at the performances after them. The air might sting Taehyun’s lungs, maybes playing in his mind but it’s also fresh and freeing, full of laughs and familiar banters.

The most important thing Taehyun gets from the karaoke night might not be the prize everyone is after but he thinks his is better, truly a bonding experience. Not in the way Kai intended, but a bonding experience regardless.

It’s a good night to be Taehyun, all in all.

Kai’s birthday comes and goes. Their schedules and finances only allow for so much: spending the first free night of the birthday week out in the town, trying gelatos of all flavors, walking around aimlessly and ending up at a horror house. The little friend group they have consists of four scaredy cats and exactly one stoic birthday boy. It proves to be a challenge but it’s also electrifying to not know what to expect, dim red light setting the mood just right and causing jumps at the smallest of a sound or shadow.

Taehyun spends the night practically leeching to anybody within reach, following the others studiously and contributing only when necessary. One of his contributions is not related to solving the puzzle but to Kai. His simple reassurance of Kai’s birthday outing turns into the question of anything else you want to do, and that’s how he ends up here, on the beach with Kai one week later.

Kai wanted to surf together, who’s Taehyun to decline his birthday wish?

The problem is, Taehyun hasn’t surfed in months and he was never that good to begin with, he’s more than a little rusty. Surfing only occupies his life in the form of Kai. He tells him as much, leaving out the last part.

“What do you think I do here? Obviously we’re going to refresh your memory,” Kai says, his hands on his hips.

Taehyun tilts his head, looking at the ocean. “Like riding a bike.”

“Exactly.”

It’s a little after four, the morning breeze still going strong and the sky has that grayish blue tint to it, clear and crisp. Kai puts the board he brought on the sand, motions for him to come over.

“Early morning is perfect for it, not too much force behind the waves.” Kai puts his hands together, causing a clap sound. “Now, first we’re gonna get you on the board and look at your stance. Will you?” He opens his arm like an invitation.

Taehyun exhales, stretching before going on to the board. His feet are flat on it, wrist flexible and open and chest straight out.

“Good, good,” Kai says, nodding. “Relax your back a little?”

Taehyun does as he is told, flat sand feeling him afloat. Even after months he remembers the fluidity of the waves, it’s different being on the beach again.

“How good are you at pop ups?”

Taehyun turns to Kai, getting off the board. “Like six times out of ten?”

Kai grimaces. “Okay, let’s practice standing up then. Watch me, ‘kay?”

Not a problem for Taehyun. He stands back and watches as Kai lies flat on the board, toes lining up with it and hands under his chest.

Kai’s voice comes out distant from the position. “This is your starting point. You want to be parallel to the board, at the center.”

Taehyun nods, already knowing what’s coming next. Kai goes through the linings, how his hands should be positioned on the board and how much further he should bring forth his leg, which one to support himself with. Even if Taehyun didn’t have a surfing history this guide would be familiar to him for how much of his time he spends watching Kai teach others, mere steps away and always aware of Kai’s presence whenever he is in the vicinity.

“And you’re up!” Kai says as he puts his weight down his back foot, and turns to look at Taehyun. “You think you can do it?”

“Give me some credit,” Taehyun says, waiting for Kai to get off the board.

He lays down, aware of where and how he places his hands and feet and slowly does the same movements he just watched Kai make. He smiles triumphantly when he succeeds, seeing the same smile reflecting back to him.

“Yeah, okay, no notes,” Kai admits.

“The hard part is doing it on the water.”

Kai looks back to the ocean, makes an inquisitive sound. “Wanna try?”

Taehyun laughs at Kai’s excitement, it practically pours off of him. “Sure.”

The board Taehyun practiced on is a longboard, with a leash attached ready to be put on and Taehyun does just that. Kai has his own, resting against a sunbed but doesn’t take it with him, instead he gets into the water behind Taehyun.

“How long has it been since you last surfed?”

Taehyun thinks back, stepping forward in the meanwhile. “Last summer, I think. My sister and I went to a holiday village for it.”

Kai points to somewhere up in the air. “The one on the way to the highway?”

“Yes, that one. Her fiance is the co-owner, I got all the benefits of nepotism.” Taehyun realizes his mistake a moment too late.

Kai looks him up and down, a tilt to his head. “Why not just work there, then? Your hours would be better, and your pay.”

He doesn’t really see a way out of it, now that it’s out in the open. Acceptance doesn’t really mean forthcoming though, he avoids Kai’s eyes. “Working in any way wasn’t part of my summer plan actually,” Taehyun says.

“No?”

Taehyun stops walking, the depth is just at the height of him and it’s gotten hard to step through the water. “This is our last summer, you know? Next year, this time around we’ll probably be out of our minds trying to find a long-term job to do. I just wasn’t looking forward to anything except for some peace and quiet.”

Kai’s sympathy at Taehyun’s words is apparent in the way that he intently listens and agress with him by a nod, smile or furrow of his brows. Waves sit by their shoulders, for Kai just under them, and Taehyun feels light both from his cursory confession and the slightly cold water.

“I know working here isn’t exactly peaceful nor quiet but,” Kai stops himself, worries his lips. “How’s your last summer going? Are you happy here?”

Taehyun knows his question is genuine. He hopelessly reassures him by smiling. “It’s good, no regrets.”

Kai bows his head, keeps looking at him, probably waiting for Taehyun to elaborate.

“Really, it’s been good. Like you said, it’s not exactly what I had in mind but I like it here, working beside you. And the guys are great, I now understand why you kept talking about them before.”

“Yeah, they are like brothers to me.”

“I’ve noticed.”

Kai regards him for a moment. “They like you too, for the record. If it wasn’t obvious.”

Shrugging, Taehyun doesn’t make a big deal out of it. He’s aware of his inherent ranking within the group. It’s not a bad thing, being the latest comer, but there are far too many inside jokes and reminiscences on good old days for him to comfortably find a place for himself. Yet, at least, Taehyun is merely a bypasser. He is okay with it.

With a tight hold on his board, he changes the subject. “How far out do we have to go?”

Kai lets him and observes the waves before giving an answer. “A little more,” he says in the end.

They paddle until reaching a good spot for practice, waves not so strong that they wash over them or too still that it’s hardly a practice at all. Kai’s mood is a lot somber than it was on the beach and Taehyun involuntarily mirrors him. In turn, the sky is brighter than ever.

“Are you ready?” Kai asks as he puts a reasonable distance between himself and Taehyun.

Just before starting, Kai reminds him to fall back safely if anything happens. It’s always away from the board, never in panic. Taehyun still feels the prickling spikes of possibilities when he gets on the board, waiting for the perfect moment to get up. Kai is far enough, yes, but what if?

“No, don’t do that. Your position is good, don’t wait for it.” Kai says behind him, his voice merging with the gurgling of the water. “You’re not trying to catch a wave Taehyunnie, just do it.”

“Okay,” Taehyun says more to himself.

He manages to fully stand up on his second try, lasting only seconds and then falling back in. When he emerges, his board is floating away from him and Kai has come closer.

He asks as Taehyun is trying to get the saltwater out of his eyes, squinting in the process. “Do you know what you’re doing wrong?”

Taehyun thinks about the tremble of his legs right before falling off the board, Kai doesn’t wait for his response though.

“You put your weight far too back out. Your foot needs to come out further.”

“It’s harder than I remember, like I know what I need to do but my body doesn’t cooperate,” Taehyun says, setting the board in front of him.

Kai laughs. “Yeah, that’s surfing for you. Keep trying, I know you’ll get it, your core is strong.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Taehyun murmurs even though he is happy about the recognition.

This time, he is extra careful about the placement of his back foot, taking his time before getting the other one to the front and although he falls because it’s the wrong time to get up, he is certain he can do it the next time. Almost.

When he finally manages to stand on the board without falling on his fifth try, Kai congratulates him loudly.

Taehyun follows him with his eyes, unwilling to move an inch. “What did I tell you? Six times out of ten.”

Kai grins widely and tells him to do it again, all over. Taehyun is feeling more and more annoyed every time that he comes back out Kai is watching him with still dry hair while there is no dry spot on his body.

He splashes water at him with a slap of his hand, causing Kai to flinch. He turns his head right before water hits him in the face but at least his bangs are wet now.

“Nice, real nice,” Kai says as he brushes his hair back.

Taehyun smirks, unaffected by Kai’s tone and splashing some more. “I’m the only one doing anything. Aren’t you supposed to be the surfer here?”

“Oh ho, is that so?” Kai asks incredulously. “Alright Big Talk, let’s catch some waves then, c’mon.”

Taehyun hugs his board reflexively. “What, now?”

Kai nods quickly as if to mock. “Yeah, now. Let’s see you stay on the board for more than two seconds.”

“You’re on,” Taehyun says, never the one to back down on a challenge. Especially when he is the one to bring it up.

As far as he remembers, whitewater is easy to catch.

He breathes and contemplates where the waves come from and break for a while, looking back to Kai a few times in between. He has a smug expression on his face and Taehyun wants nothing more than to wipe that look off from him, methods to be decided. He isn’t confident despite his prior egging Kai on.

After getting a feeling for the wave patterns, he bites the bullet and gets ready to pop up once more but with a purpose this time. He paddles to the front of the wave, tense and thrilled at the same time and as soon as the wave gets too close to comfortably look back on, he pops. His time on the board doesn’t even last a second.

“Shut up,” Taehyun says without force behind it, mouth full of seawater.

Kai shakes his head. “I didn’t say anything.”

“I’m gonna try again.” 

He tries again, and again. And again. Whitewater might be harder to catch than he remembers, the current undertaking him every time.

“Okay.” Taehyun admits defeat. “I need help.” He expects some kind of snark remark or the same expression he left Kai with before his last attempt but all he finds is earnest amusement. That’s not so bad.

In fact, it looks good on Kai, enjoying himself.

“You’re actually doing everything right except for one thing,” Kai says, swimming towards him.

Taehyun supports himself with his board, feet also keeping him afloat. Kai grabs the board from the other side. It’s almost like there’s a coffee table between them, ignoring everything.

“The thing about surfing is that it needs confidence,” Kai starts, he looks apologetic for some reason. “I know it’s not what you want to hear but you need to trust in yourself and your board. You always hesitate at the last moment.”

Sighing, Taehyun looks down. Kai is right, it’s not what he wanted to hear. “It’s not something I can control.”

“Not instantly, no, but you can keep trying. Right?”

Taehyun murmurs a yes. Kai’s hand slides to the side, holding Taehyun’s and squeezing it. 

“Then it’s fine, that’s why we’re here.” Kai lets his hand go, pushing himself back. “I’ll even get my own board if you’re tired of going alone.” He’s already half turned to the shore.

Taehyun watches him go, content to just exist in the water while waiting. He isn’t sure what he was expecting out of this plan apart from realizing Kai’s wish, making him happy but despite the struggles he can say with a full chest that he’s glad to be here. He’s missed this, the gentle breeze on his wet shoulders, soft pull of the water and salty dryness on his skin. Surfing, though he has never been good at it, is another thing he’s missed.

He isn’t like Kai, one with the water through and through. It’s hard for him to keep his balance, afraid of the vastness that goes on forever and the horizon at bay, all the blue choking him both figuratively and sometimes, literally. He spits out a mouthful of water, feeling disgusted with himself and trying to gather his bearings after taking a nasty fall.

Kai’s praise surprises him.

“I literally just fell,” Taehyun says with a loud voice to Kai on his surfboard.

Kai has to raise his voice as well because of the opposite direction he goes. “But you managed to last!”

Encouraged by this, and a little amazed at how at ease Kai is in the waves he splutters even in the idea of it, Taehyun gets right back to it. 

With the passing of time comes early risers, all equipped with arm floats and swimming foams, some outliers with nothing else but a self-assured smile on their sleepy faces. He and Kai get further out to avoid them. Kai is especially careful to not crowd the other surfers starting their day.

Taehyun stays on board for some waves and falls spectacularly for some, Kai always beside him and watching. Helping when needed, and knowing better to leave it alone when Taehyun gets too far into his own head. His presence is always felt, not that different from before for Taehyun, Kai is always someone he notices. That’s why after his knees start hurting he just keeps himself afloat and watches Kai move around unbound from afar.

Sun has been up for a while, bright and casting perfect shadows on the water, on Kai's form. His hair slicks back his head, tangles sticking together because of the same stickiness Taehyun feels and brown locks appearing a few shades lighter despite the wetness. He looks in his element, Taehyun is not the only one who’s dazed by him. 

He is the only one Kai comes back to.

“Should we head back?” Kai asks when they are within hearing distance.

Taehyun silently follows him, paddling half the time and letting his body get washed away by the waves the other times. His swim trunks immediately start pulling him down, heavy from the water. Kai is not so different, he moves slowly.

They stop at the stand Taehyun works his shift at, still vacant both because of the early hour and because the person who occupies there is him.

Kai pulls a stool for Taehyun before sitting down in another.

“Did you have fun?” Kai asks with his biggest smile of the day yet.

“I should be asking you that, you were the one who wanted to surf together.” Taehyun inclines his head forward. “Was it what you wanted? Spending your morning teaching me.”

Kai nods enthusiastically. “You’re my favorite student.”

“Am I?” Taehyun asks with an empty curiosity.

“You are. Nobody else would come with me at four in the morning.”

Kai puts his elbow on the counter as he speaks, a dreamy look on his face and Taehyun mirrors him. The sticky feeling of his body is a bit uncomfortable and sunlight blinds him, obscuring his view of Kai but their limited time left is of issue right now, only a little of it left to their shift.

Taehyun crosses his legs, turning in his seat to get the sunlight out of his eyes.

“I’m open to more lessons in the future if you’re up for it,” Taehyun says, holding the hope close to his heart. “I liked it today, it was peaceful.”

Kai catches his meaning, giving him a look that ranges from amused to teasing.

“Really, surfing or just swimming if you want. It felt like summer.” Taehyun continues, looking into Kai’s eyes to keep his attention.

“And summer is all about peace, is it?”

Taehyun gestures towards the beach filled with people despite the early hour, that fact also reminds him to start getting ready for his shift. “Obviously it’s not, for us at least but nothing’s set in stone, you know? We make it fun and peaceful and all that,” he says, while walking into the booth and taking their belongings.

“Can I have my phone?” Kai asks, reaching for the bag Taehyun put on the counter. Not even waiting for a moment after, he keeps talking. “You don’t regret it then, right?”

Taehyun takes Kai’s phone, turns it around in his hand. “There’s a lot of things I would change.” He acts like he’s giving Kai his phone but takes his hand back at the last moment, grinning down to sitting Kai.

Kai gives him an unimpressed look and tries to take the phone from Taehyun’s hand but he backs out once more.

“Like, the room we’re staying, it has to be against some kind of worker rights.”

“Taehyun,” Kai says, ignoring what he’s saying.

Taehyun holds the phone up with his arm while he leans forwards on the counter, Kai’s eyes following every movement. “And guests, god, are they even human at this point?” Taehyun wiggles the phone out of Kai’s reach when he tries for it, straightening himself. “Some of them are unbelievably rude, like comically so.”

Kai must have grown tired of the game Taehyun plays, like an experienced Turkish ice cream man, because he crosses his arms and just waits for Taehyun’s next move, his next words with a resigned exhale. Taehyun dials down the smugness and puts his elbow down the counter, holding out the phone for Kai.

He’s hesitant in his reach, with as little movement as possible Kai takes the phone, looks surprised when Taehyun doesn’t let his hold go.

“Taehyun, what—“

“But you know what I’ve realized?” Taehyun asks, putting off a show with how assured he looks. He takes Kai’s other hand and puts it on top of the phone as well, this way keeping both of Kai’s hands encapsulated between his. He lets his gaze wander on Kai’s face as he says the next part. “I’m not the type to regret things.”

Kai looks down on their hands once before looking back up to Taehyun, his lips apart and rounded on a sound that doesn’t come out.

Taehyun has to finish what he started. “Not the past nor the present. I think once I decide I want something, I always want it, always will.”

The last bit is him flying too close to the sun, Taehyun realizes, so he stops his hold of Kai, backing out in more ways than one. He shrugs, not giving Kai a chance to come to any sudden conclusions. “So, no. I don’t regret working here.”

There is a moment, Kai doesn’t know how to react, what to do and Taehyun can read him like an open book; he sees his confusion, his questions and assumptions about what exactly happened, his hands still in the air loosely holding his phone and his posture still. Taehyun doesn’t pull him out of it.

Instead, they stay there until some group of surfers come up to them and start puroding Kai about surf things Taehyun truly has no idea of but he’s happy to see an embarrassed Kai with quivering lips and lots of awkward scratches to his neck. He keeps looking back to Taehyun as he talks with them and there is something entirely earth shattering in the moment when Taehyun takes a step towards the hotel’s direction to shower and get ready for his shift and Kai stops him with a hold on his arm, Taehyun’s name on his lips.

Kai raises an eyebrow, his face golden under the sunlight because he has to look up to Taehyun from where he’s sitting and his fingers dig into Taehyun’s skin, dried ocean melting under his touch and sticking them together. He doesn’t have to ask, Taehyun understands.

He stays, feeling left out from all the talk about special tricks and specific lingo; his tongue doesn’t quite curl around right from the unfamiliarity. Halfway through the conversation, Kai lets his arm go and Taehyun abruptly links their arms together from behind, leaning forward onto Kai’s shoulders from his stool.

Kai leans back.

Kai leans back and Taehyun’s chin properly finds its place on Kai’s shoulder and he doesn’t even stiffen under the touch. It’s skin against skin, the very same sun kissed skin Taehyun spent the better half of his now ending summer fantasizing about. Does it matter? All the time before this moment, before today he wasted, lost in his own head, does it matter when all Kai does after the contact is to let out a sigh Taehyun only hears because he is so close? 

Taehyun thinks they got the days wrong; today was supposed to be for a late birthday present for Kai but in the end it became a very generous offering of what Taehyun could have if he could only take the last step, that leap of faith on the edge of a cliff.

He doesn’t, of course not but he almost jumps off the cliff when Kai throws his head back in laughing, only a breath between their faces. It matters then, all the moments before because Taehyun, for the first time, is entirely certain of himself and Kai. Because he understands, just like how he understood that Kai didn’t want to part ways just yet and how he understood what asking to surf together meant to Kai, he understands that Kai didn’t shut down Taehyun for some unimaginable, strange reason. He was afraid, like Taehyun, of losing this. This easy blending of their bodies, their laughter and the shared glance that they don’t need to back down from.

Taehyun understands Kai and it’s quiet in his mind for a bit, everything slowing down and sitting into their places; it feels like he’s back to the night they first met and they are studying in the library at the same time, whispers turning into playful shouts the more he becomes present. 

He makes up his mind then, watching Kai’s face light up when one of the people from the group mentions seasonal competition. No matter what happens after this summer ends, he’s going to keep Kai in his life, right at this moment.

Never let it be said that Taehyun is too grumpy to enjoy his youth.

He has this persona with wise beyond his years knowledge, very thin and fragile, gumption to make sure he always lands on his feet but that persona is nothing compared to the inherent yearning for doing stupid shit just because he can. It’s in his blood, he imagines it rushing through his veins and knocking on the wooden door of his heart every once in a while with a wide grin and pleading eyes, saying just this once.

The stupid part is that it works, every single time.

After some mildly awkward days ranging from hands left in the air after a warm hug or conversations getting stiff seemingly out of nowhere, Taehyun is confident that the other shoe will drop anytime now. Something has shifted in him after their surfing adventure and settled into place, words more convincing and eyes undeterred; Taehyun is certain with his whole being that he and Kai will be okay no matter what so acts like it.

No more planning and waiting for the opportunity to present itself. Free of quotas to meet for the first time, Taehyun just lets it all happen. That’s how he ends up again at the amphitheater with the others one week left to the end of August. There is no karaoke competition or even a crowd, it’s just the five of them because everyone else has the sense to be asleep at this mellow hour of three in the morning.

Taehyun reaches for the salty crackers Soobin brought to make the bitter taste of wine disappear. When it doesn’t work as well as he hopes, he turns to Yeonjun.

“Why are we drinking wine again?” Taehyun says.

“Because it’s more convenient than just downing beer after beer,” Beomgyu answers instead.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun says, eyes going from Beomgyu to Taehyun. “Also I wanted to feel pretty. Sangria makes me feel pretty.”

His tone makes Taehyun laugh, words so candid that it’s impossible to defy. “Okay, I feel pretty too.” 

“Me too, me too,” Kai says next to him, leaning towards Yeonjun. His hair gets shuffled as a result.

“A toast then?”

“If we’re gonna make a toast it has to be for something.” Soobin stops Beomgyu’s already raised glass with a hand.

“Oh, I know,” Taehyun says, raising his plastic glass. “A toast for our chef Soobin for making the goods. Without his—“ He stops himself and points to the spread put in the middle of them. “—what did you call them?”

“Mediterranean Pinwheels,” Soobin says proudly.

“Without his pinwheels I wouldn’t be able to drink tonight.” He brings his cup further and meets it with the others’.

Before his sip, Yeonjun grumbles something under his breath but Taehyun doesn’t pay much attention to it, already reaching for another bite of toast-worthy foods.

Halfway through his bite Beomgyu starts talking.

“I also want to make toast for little ones here.” Beomgyu looks directly at them, him and Kai. “Just go finish your studies already and come back to work with us full time.”

“That’s not a toast,” Kai says.

Taehyun nudges Kai in an intentionally poor attempt at discretion. “I think he just cursed us.”

Kai leans to whisper in his ear, breathy and loud. “Does he want us to go mad? I thought we were friends.”

Before Taehyun can continue their little play, Soobin scoffs and takes one of the plastic plates to his lap.

“Look at them,” He scolds them. “You don’t get any more of these.”

“And of this.” Yeonjun hugs the big bidon full of Sangria.

Taehyun misses Kai’s closeness the moment he goes to make his case to the others why they should let them have more of everything. Without his leaning support gone, Taehyun puts his back to the steps, sharp corner digging rather painfully. He drinks some more and eats some more, happy to just watch the commotion and add little to the conversation. 

Not that there is much happening of it.

The goal, Taehyun supposes, is to spend one last night filled with laughter and good time as friends now that their working time ending with summer days closing and Taehyun and Kai’s term starting in a couple weeks. The problem starts at what to do and what to talk about because they already are together almost every minute of the day, even their shift not depriving them of their time together. Soobin and Yeonjun are isolated cases, having different places to go to everyday than the rest of them but they still sleep at the same room, eat at the same table. There isn’t really anything left to do together that calls for a special night of Sangria and baked goods.

They talk about which songs to have as background noise or naturally from that, whose playlists are the best, objectively. After deciding on a fair share of songs decided by the good old rock-paper-scissors, they move on to the next topic of hot gossip. Again, naturally.

Taehyun listens, offers little to none and takes the refilled cup with a smile from Yeonjun. Even though it is pointless, it’s shaping up to be good night.

It gets better when Soobin, like the provider he is, takes a deck of Uno from his pocket after most of the food is gone.

“Just to settle the debate before it starts, you are allowed to be as cruel as you want with the plus cards. First one out gets a request for the loser.” Soobin’s eyes are scary with the wide grin he has. “It can be anything the winner wants.”

“What if the loser declines?” Yeonjun asks as he tops his own cup.

Soobin shrugs as Taehyun is trying to think of the worst possible punishment he can think of right now.

“They have to do a lap around the stairs,” Taehyun says, his head tilted with a question.

Soobin shoots some poorly coordinated finger guns at him while Kai and Yeonjun contemplate his suggestion.

“I might puke if I run now,” Kai says, preening around the amphitheater.

Which is a genuine concern, Taehyun too is concerned about his stomach too but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? He throws his arm around Kai, it takes an effort due to the height difference still in place despite them sitting, and pulls Kai towards him from the hold.

“We’re just gonna have to go with the requests then.”

“Or win,” Kai says, looking up to him.

Taehyun nods, releasing Kai. “Yeah, let’s just win.”

True to his words, Taehyun wins the first round by tricking everyone that his last card is red and the look on the others’ face when he puts down a green seven is so good, so perfectly encapsulates their little friendship that Taehyun has hard time controlling his laughter. He keeps breaking down as the round goes on and finds himself laying halfway down to Kai’s lap while watching the others play.

Soobin gets to be next one out by exchanging hands with Yeonjun who had only two cards left and by the resentment caused by it Yeonjun finishes the third with a relieved sigh. It’s between Kai and Beomgyu now.

The card in the middle is a yellow one and Beomgyu smirks as he puts down two reverse cards on top of each other, making Kai lose his turn. From where he is laying his head down Taehyun can see Kai’s hand and there’s three normal cards and one wild. Beomgyu has only two cards left.

“Is there a limit to the number of cards we can make someone pick up?” Taehyun asks, making Kai turn to him with a questioning look.

“Why? Because Kai has a wild card?” Beomgyu leans forward.

Taehyun makes a sound that he hopes conveys his own confusion at the question and waits for an answer.

“We said to be cruel, so I guess not?” Yeonjun says and looks around to have confirmation.

At that, Taehyun picks out the wild card from Kai’s deck and looks to Kai’s face for permission. Kai looks a little shocked but that can just be from the Sangria in his system, he always looks a little dazed when he drinks.

“You can’t play for the others,” Beomgyu whines.

Taehyun puts the wild card down. “I’m not playing for him, it’s just easier this way.”

“Pick up six, Beomie,” Kai says from above him and as Beomgyu reaches to pick his cards up Taehyun feels a hand around his shoulder, squeezing it. By now, his head is fully on Kai’s leg.

Kai holds out his deck to him. “Which color should I go with?”

He has every color except red but two of them are three, a green and blue one. Taehyun points to the blue one and Kai puts that one down.

Beomgyu looks a little annoyed at their collaboration, hand hovering over his deck before putting a red card but thankfully it’s a three. Kai snorts as he puts the other three from his deck down, immediately yelling Uno.

“Fuck you,” Beomgyu says but it lacks the heat he intends, causing others to laugh at him.

“From all the cards you picked up, there weren't any special ones?” Soobin asks, leaning to get a look on Beomgyu’s hand.

“If there were, would I be losing?” Beomgyu puts another card down, this time it’s a yellow eight. 

When Kai wins everyone cheers and teases Beomgyu who takes it all respectfully with only one or two other swears flying around. Taehyun gets up, ready to use his winner privileges.

“So, Beomgyu.” Taehyun is smiling so hard that he has to stop himself first. “I have a question for you.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve come to be a big fan of your work, you see,” Taehyun says, intentionally drawing it out. “Especially of your impressions of animated characters.”

Beomgyu leans back, supporting himself from his hands laid out back.

Taehyun continues, avoiding eye contact with others lest he breaks his hardly-kept composure. “But I keep hearing about this ‘bobblehead’ period of yours,” He can feel the shake of Kai’s laugh beside him. “I want to make a special request that you do a Shrek ‘onions have layers’ impression as a bobblehead.”

Beomgyu looks confused for a second, looking around to his amused friends for an explanation. Taehyun is prepared for this, so he searches for the scene he requested and hands the phone over to Beomgyu.

“This one, you can practice as much as you want,” Taehyun says.

After watching the video, Beomgyu chooses Yeonjun to play Donkey just by proximity and as they practice their lines; him, Soobin and Kai wait patiently, sipping their drinks and already laughing from the impromptu practice. What seals the deal though, the one that makes Taehyun lose his breath is when at the end of the scene Yeonjun says ‘oh, they both have layers’ with sarcasm dripping and surprisingly in character. It takes all of them a minute to recover from that.

During the next round, Yeonjun’s name becomes strictly Donkey after Soobin lays it down as a rule with a wild card and Taehyun thinks Yeonjun wins the round by the willpower he collects every time someone calls him Donkey. Despite his ‘wild’ start, Soobin loses the round and Yeonjun takes it a step further by betting on how many crackers Soobin can fit in his mouth without anything cracking. The answer is nineteen, making Beomgyu the winner of the bet by being the closest one in his guess and Soobin the double loser. He chokes on the crumbs and has to bottom up his cup full of wine and brandy and juice because none of them brought water.

By the wicked look on Yeonjun’s face, that fact might have played a role in his decision of the winner’s request.

They go on like this for a while, each round competition grows tenser and the stakes get higher. They are almost done with the formerly full bidon and so far Kai had to do a handstand for ten seconds, which gave Taehyun plenty of opportunity to eye his torso when his shirt rode down with him even though he couldn’t stand for the whole time, Beomgyu lost again and and chose to do a lap around them instead of answering the unspeakable question Soobin whispered in his ear and Yeonjun had to give Soobin a massage. They cut it short when Yeonjun’s hands started to do more harm than good.

The next round breaks Taehyun’s not-losing streak. He started leaning against Kai basically the minute Kai finished his hand and the last song playing is one of his favorites. He’s relaxed, buzzed and full. That’s why he loses.

While he’s busy sulking at the lost streak, Beomgyu clears his throat with showmanship.

“So.”

Revenge.

“I have an important question and I want an honest answer.”

Taehyun tries to be a good sport and waits patiently. Beomgyu’s smile grows with each passing second and his eyes go back and forth between him and Kai for some reason.

“How did you two meet? Kai is always so secretive about it whenever we ask,” Beomgyu says finally and that wakes Taehyun up from his buzz.

He straightens himself at the same time Kai puts some distance between them. It only takes a second for Taehyun to decide on his next actions; a clear divide between the choice of backing Kai up or going with his gut and just ending this impossible charade. Kai doesn’t get to do this anymore.

He deliberately talks slowly, thinking back and making it visible while he holds onto Kai’s side, hand reaching up for his shoulder.

“I don’t know why Kai never told you but it’s nothing big. We were at a party,” Taehyun says as he looks at Kai for a reaction, his hand rests on top of his shoulder.

“It was a club event, for the new semester if I remember correctly,” Taehyun adds as an afterthought, prompting Kai further.

“Yeah, they had an open invitation.” Kai’s voice sounds far away but Taehyun can’t be too sure whether that’s because of the speaker or the listener. He rocks the boat more by sliding his hand to Kai’s back as he gets closer to him by the sway of his hips, just a little movement.

Taehyun turns back to the others. “We both went to refresh our drinks at the same time, that’s how we met. Spent the whole party together.”

Yeonjun’s eyebrows are high on his forehead. “That’s it?” He sounds oddly disappointed.

Taehyun nods, playing dumb and keeps sliding his hand lower on Kai’s back. He is ticklish, tries to hold it in but all of Taehyun’s focus is vacuumed by him. He catches even the smallest of the muscle twitches.

All eyes are on Kai as Soobin asks the big question Taehyun’s been waiting for.

“Why didn’t you just tell us?” He tries to get closer to Kai, as if to keep it private. “Were you embarrassingly drunk? Is that it?”

Kai opens his mouth to answer but Taehyun cuts in. “No, no, both of us were sound of mind, right?” Taehyun makes eye contact with Kai, to see if he objects. “It would just get in the way, I think, if we were drunk.”

He meets three suspicious faces when he turns back.

“In the way of… what exactly?” Beomgyu asks.

“Talking, getting closer.” Taehyun starts playing with the skirts of Kai’s top as he talks. “I wasn’t even aware that we were in the same major, you know, Kai knew me by name.”

Beomgyu presses more, a playful smile in place. “Is that so? Were you friend-crushing Taehyun, Kai? That was the embarrassing part?”

“Uh," Kai looks around and his eyes land on Taehyun, it’s a fruitless effort. Taehyun shrugs, keeping up with the groundwork he put on.

“Sure.” Kai finally decides on that as an answer with a wavering voice.

Taehyun takes his hand back and covers his mouth with it, making a shocked face, exaggerated. “I didn’t know that. Was that why you wanted to spend the night together?” He turns to others. “For, you know, talking and getting to know each other better.”

“I bet you did,” Soobin says, causing Beomgyu to cover his laugh with a cough. Yeonjun gives him his own cup without lifting his gaze from Kai.

“Well?” Yeonjun says.

“Uh,” Kai stumbles over his words again, looking around and waiting for rescue. As soon as Taehyun recognizes this, he steps in.

“I thi—“

Kai’s sudden jump to his feet makes him pause. He’s holding Taehyun’s arm and pulling him up with it. “Can I talk to you real quick?” Kai says, urgent.

Taehyun has no choice but to agree, trying to catch up with Kai in long strides. As they walk over to the back side of the stairs he hears Beomgyu yell “You’re welcome!”

Kai stops to look back. “What was that?”

Taehyun shakes his head. “I don’t know.” They are still a few steps from the back and Taehyun feels more ashamed than nervous. “Kai, look,” Taehyun doesn’t know what follows that.

Kai seems to not care. “Can we be honest with each other again? Completely transparent. I want to understand.”

“Okay.”

Kai takes him by the arm again, taking them to the far side of the amphitheater. Taehyun leans back to the wall as he watches him pace. Mid-step, Kai stops himself and fully turns to Taehyun.

“Was that a prank?”

Taehyun shakes his head, not liking the thought process. “No, it wasn’t meant to be.”

Kai looks even more confused now, all that nervous energy still apparent in how he holds himself. “Then what was that?”

Taehyun looks away from him. “I’m sorry we pressured you, that wasn’t my intention.”

“What was your intention?”

Good question. In a way, this was Taehyun’s intention, a confrontation. But not like this. He tries to explain himself but Kai continues talking at the same time.

“I thought we talked about this. The night we met wasn’t supposed to be an issue anymore.” Kai steps closer but he’s still a good metre away from Taehyun. “Are you still uncomfortable with me? Do we have to talk it through? Like—I don’t get it.”

Taehyun realizes, stupidly, that the reason they are here right now is because he wasn’t truthful the first time they had this conversation. He’s been making himself miserable almost all summer going over his reasons for Kai’s behavior and how it makes him feel, driving himself mad basically and the whole time the problem is him. Him and his stupid, stupid pride.

If their friendship doesn't hold space for Taehyun’s bottomless desire, then it has no place for self-preservation either.

“I never had a problem with it, that’s the problem Kai,” Taehyun says, still facing away from him. “I never was uncomfortable with you.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a problem with our past.”

“Then—then what was this? Karaoke night?”

That makes Taehyun finally look at Kai. “That was you getting too caught up in the moment Kai, nothing more nothing less.”

Kai opens his mouth, then closes it. He crosses his arms, then breaks them free once again. Finally, in a low voice, he says “So there was a moment? I didn’t imagine it.”

Taehyun bites his bottom lip, getting to his feet. “You didn’t.”

In a second, Kai is a lot closer than he was before. It suits the situation Taehyun is in, he cannot keep running away.

“Were there other ones?” Kai asks.

Taehyun looks up. “What do you mean?”

“Were there other moments that I missed?” Kai asks again, this time leaning forward. 

It’s not a fair question but Taehyun has so little to work with, somehow, for some reason Kai doesn’t leave any wiggle room for Taehyun this time. “How am I supposed to know when else you thought to kiss me?”

“Tell me yours then.”

“What?”

“Tell me about the times you wanted to kiss me and I missed it.” Kai steps in, Taehyun steps back.

“No,” Taehyun says. “I don’t want to.”

Kai takes one more step, crowding Taehyun. “Tell me.”

“Why? What good is it gonna do?”

“Taehyun.” Kai takes his hand in between his and holds it up, tilts his head forward. “Tell me when else you wanted to kiss me.”

Taehyun practically bites his words. “Karaoke night.”

“Hm, when else?”

All summer filled with little moments and skipped heartbeats come to his mind, one memory clearing everything else in comparison to others in vividness. With his eyes on his feet, Taehyun gives Kai what he wants.

“When we slept together.”

Kai lets go of his hand and puts his on Taehyun’s waist. “The first time or the second time?”

Taehyun looks up to argue, telling him off for being difficult but the moment he faces him Kai’s other hand palms his face, thumb gracing his cheek.

“The second time, I know, I know.” His hand on Taehyun’s waist starts to wander, going inside his shirt. “When else?”

Taehyun’s pulse is in his ear when he says the following with a whine. “Now. Kai, right now.”

Kai’s answer comes in the form of a lean in, closing the little gap they had between them. The first kiss is short, just a taste of what is to come and Taehyun is holding onto Kai in a flash, hands going up his neck and pulling him back in.

Formerly breezy night gets hot, quickly, as Kai makes up for all the times he made Taehyun question his sanity; his lips are warm and sticky from the Sangria they shared, enthusiastic and deliberate all at the same breath and all so inviting. Taehyun parts his mouth at Kai’s asking, his back finding its place back to the wall and truly letting himself get lost in Kai.

Kai’s knee ends up in between Taehyun’s legs and Taehyun awards him with a sigh, or maybe a moan, riding his hips on it and holding onto Kai. His hands work Kai’s hair with attention he isn’t sure how he still has, Kai is pulling him from every place, fingers on his back in all the right places and leading palm on his face, going up and down with every kiss. Caressing, tender and careful, like Taehyun is a precious thing that he has to take delicate care of.

There’s a mesmerizing sound coming from their lips when they part. Taehyun follows after it, needy.

Kai holds him back with a gentle pressure on his temple, his other hand still on his back and insatiated. Kai looks thoroughly kissed and it’s still not enough. Taehyun takes in every little detail: the way his hair is dishevelled and the blush that spreads from his neck to his ears, his lips plump and alive, eyes as bright as the stars that are only visible during the dead hours like this. He puts his hand to brush Kai’s hair back, his fingertips getting soaked in sweat.

“Taehyun,” Kai says, his voice too loud in their embrace. “Taehyunnie,”

Taehyun is suddenly kissed again, just a quick little peck that ends too quickly. It still makes the dam inside Taehyun break, the water he held as free as the ocean now. Wild and untapped.

“Was that what you wanted?”

Taehyun nods, his words must have been eaten by Kai’s kisses and bites.

Kai pulls him closer by the hold of his waist, pressing their bodies together. “Is it still?”

He nods again, hides his smile in Kai’s chest. It’s alive too, a beating heart in an all too familiar melody.

“I've wanted to do that ever since the beginning of the summer.” Taehyun turns sideways to make his words clear.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kai’s voice is kind when he asks, his kindness only supported by his gentle touches all over Taehyun.

That’s what gives Taehyun the courage to face him, his chin on Kai’s chest, just a light lean as to not hurt.

“I thought you wanted me to not say anything. After that conversation at the park I just assumed it was one-sided.”

“We’re both so blind,” Kai says with a sigh. “I thought you regretted how we met.”

Taehyun chuckles, he feels light in the head. “I got that, yeah.”

Kai pinches the little skin on his hips. “You weren’t any better. My eyes have opened now, I can see all your little schemes.”

Taehyun leans back after the squeeze to look Kai over. “Really? What did I scheme then?”

For a second it looks like Kai is actually going to recite all of their time together under this newly found light but there’s a draw of a breath and it’s gone. Kai shakes his head, holds Taehyun’s face with two hands and says “I don’t care anymore.”

Taehyun smiles at him. “You don’t?”

Kai mirrors his smile, leans back in and gives a wet peck to Taehyun’s neck. It tickles, Taehyun involuntarily sharps his shoulders. Kai leaves one more peck, and then once again. They go up one by one.

Taehyun frees himself from Kai’s hold with a laugh, keeping him back by his arm. 

“Enough, enough!”

“Okay,” Kai says but he links their arms together, closing the distance again and leaving one last kiss to Taehyun’s cheek. “Okay, that was it.”

Without giving Taehyun even a chance to recover, Kai pulls him into a side-hug, at the same time he starts walking towards the center of the amphitheater. “I will continue later though, I hope that was clear.” He looks back as he says it.

Taehyun bites down his smile, intertwines their hands together and steps in rhythm with Kai. “It was.”

“Good.” Kai leads the way with a tight hold and joy in his feet. When they get back the others take one look at them and start hollering, middle of the fed-back congratulating Beomgyu starts singing ‘La Isla Bonita.’

And Taehyun doesn’t really mind the teasing. He sits down next to Kai, much closer than before and spends the rest of the time wondering at their intertwined hands, stealing little nuzzles and kisses here and there whenever Kai leans down or laughs in his ear. As the night closes, the others bid their goodbye and make for the hotel’s way. Taehyun and Kai stays behind. Their shift starts in six hours and it’s gonna be hell but it’s okay, more than okay in fact.

Somewhere during their talk filled with delayed confessions and blink-and-miss-it bantering, Kai lays his head down Taehyun’s lap, places one of Taehyun’s hands in his hair and holds onto the other, playing with the fingers and tracing the lines. Taehyun’s drunkenness comes from this moment, not from the actual alcohol he consumed or the laughter that left him gasping for air all night, it’s from this very moment where Kai looks up at him with a barely contained smile and sees everything. Gazing into Taehyun’s eyes and reading him, listening and understanding every word he says, inclining his head at the right moments and making himself present in all the right places.

This is it for Taehyun. All he wanted. Wants.

Kai is it for Taehyun.