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His hair felt soft like cotten by the slightest touch
Even if he’d wish more than anything that he’d wake up and look at him. He wouldn’t complain about what he had.
A heart beat, the slightest shift in his chest by each breath, and a safe scar right in his lap.
He seemed oddly happy and calm like this. Laying in his lap in a place far far far away drifting through reality. Head gently tilted up towards him, the rest of his body laying limp on the grass.
Maybe.. when he truly thought about it. Maybe he didn’t want scar to wake up. Bringing back scar, then bringing them all the way here to this “safety” took absolutely far too much energy. Wings spotted white. Mask laying half tossed on the ground, a large crack through the middle of it. Eyes glistening violet.
He was a watcher through and through after all.
Grian wasn’t mortal like scar. Not even partly mortal like Martyn or a Demi god or part god or god. No. He was more than that. So so very distant from his beloved scar.
Gods were chosen and made to their strength. But him. He was gifted since the very beginning. Punishment for it? Bard from ever loving or feeling like his dear mortal.
Well. That’s what he thought. Yet here he was. In love. Hurt. Sad. Worried. Relived. Anxious. Happy. So so very many emotions he… truly didn’t care enough about to place all of them. But he could place that dark thought strangling his mind slowly.
What will scar say or think when he sees me like this?
All he could muster was push scar’s head ever so gently closer to his stomach. Stoping him from seeing.(like his eyes were even open
Well. Clearly that was enough to wake him. To some level
Scar shifted slightly. Like his body was covered in water, weighing him down.
Scar made a slight grumble. Than took a deep breath. Froze.. then cuddled up closer to Grian.
“ $-$(@r? ” No response
Of course not. Scar can’t hear something like grian speak their own tongue. But Grian was simply too tired to speak in rhymes or bind his throat to mortal rules of hearing and speech. So maybe he’d have to continue living with scar not hearing him for a while
Scar shifted and slightly turned, turning away from the sky. Putting his face closer to grians stomach.
His fingers ran ever so gently through scars hair. Running his thumb past old scars periodically
Scars chest lift and fell heavy, even if his chest was heavy with his own weight. He has absolutely no clue what’s around them and why. Blissfully ignorant
Grian wasn’t though.
Looking up and around them. Worry in his chest, like he was making sure nothing was there
Then gently leaning down and nudging scar with the tip of his nose. Just trying to get some sort of glimpse of him being awake. He’d been unconscious far too long for his comfort
Scar’s breath hitched at the movement. Then with the slowest exhale he waited, trying to build energy it seemed
“G….. grian..? You there..?”
Considering no matter what he said he couldn’t hear him. Grian nudged him again and sat back up. Going back to running his finger through his hair.
“I.. I don’t know what…. Happened.. but you don’t seem mad at me so…. I’ll take it” it was such a somber, sad yet selfishly proud statement. Grain hated it. He hated scar had to say so.
“ !’v3 n3v3r b33n m@d @t ¥0v, $(@r. !’v3 r3m3mb3r3ð ¥0v 3v3r¥ t!m3 ! $w3@r, I’v3 n3v3r b33n m@d” sure it was a stupid statement knowing it can’t be heard.. but maybe grian could be a bit selfish in his own way
Scar shuffled slightly, making absolutely no reaction to what grian said, cause of course not.
He took a deep few breathes before he spoke again
“Idk what you’ve done.. cause. This isn’t how I seem to normally feel around you.. not.. not for a long time at least. I mostly just feel bad or guilty but… laying on your lap, hand in my hair, face close to mine I.. can I say something selfish….?” Scar took yet another deep breath again. Didn’t seem like a lot needed to happen to make his body panting for energy
“ 0f (0vr$3 ” yet again. Not a word heard.
Why was he even trying to speak? Selfishness? Stupidity? Comfort? Just being used to it? Familiarity?
Well. The silence seemed to get the point across at least, after a good few pants turned into deep breaths
“I.. I feel home.. like… like I’m back in the desert again.. I don’t even know if you remember that but the watchers did say winners remember more. Which explains a lot but you did win… win in the desert… do you remember the desert grian? I really hope you do…. And that you don’t look back at it bitterly”
“ !t’$ m¥ h0m3. Wh3r3 ! f3ll !n l0v3 w!th ¥0v. !’d n3v3r s33 !t w!th b!tt3rn3$$ !n m¥ th0vght.. 3v3n !f th@t’$ wh3re ! g0t m¥ (vr$e… @$ l0ng @$ ! @v0!d ¥0v, !t d03$n’t b0th3r m3.. (0mp@r3d t0 wh@t h@pp3nd !n th3 d3$3rt @t l3@$t… $t!ll m¥ h0m3 @nd l0ve. ”
He knew scar couldn’t hear him and won’t but… still hurts a little seeing him not give a single response… not a single response in his arms
…
…
”oh I’m so sorry scar”
“Hey Gri? If you’re still listening.. maybe you haven’t at all.. that’s okay. I think. Maybe it’s not… used to being left behind and forgotten no matter. Any how-“
Was it bad grian squeezed this tight over something so simple? He doesn’t even have a right to be protective over scar when he’s done so much harm to him. Cheating, betrayal, stealing, taking one of his dark green lives, hurting in any way he can.. just cause he’s selfish….. and doesn’t want him to die in his own arms again
But.. was he really that wrong to do it if he could see the small glimpse of scars smile?
“Well.. guess you are still listening G, huh? Guess I’m not alone.. so… noticed you had no complaints against the desert thing….. a-any how!”
Scars panicky any how’s will never not bring a smile to Grian’s face. Even if he shouldn’t have sometimes and just kept him away from him
“I… can i say something bad..? Not that you’ve done something! Just.. is it bad I can tell somethings wrong cause my legs don’t hurt, my breathing doesn’t feel tight, my chest feels lighter and that background ring from tnt isn’t there?… maybe that’s sad or wrong or bad but… I’m honestly more concerned about you than me.. if you were quite cause you didn’t wanna speak I get it but… you’re not acting like that’s why so whatever is wrong probably’s affecting you. That’s what I feel bad about.”
“ (0v3rd !n $(@r$, m@d3 t0 b3 th3 v!ll!@n, d!3d r3p3@t3dl¥, $tv(k f0r3v3r !n @ d0m@!n t0 r3m3mb3r ¥0v’r3 @l0n3 th@n s0vl t0rn !n h@lf $o ¥0v’r3 @lw@y$ p@rtl¥ th3r3 wh!l3 th3 0th3r h@lf !$ f0r(3d t0 pl@¥ m0r3 g@m3$, s0vl l0(k3d @w@¥ th3n r!pp3d b@(k !nt0 3x!$t3n(3, n0t 3v3n @bl3 t0 f33l ¥0v’r3 b0d¥ th@t’$ (hr0n!(@ll¥ hvrt!ng ¥0v ¥3t… ¥0v still w0rr¥ @b0vt m3. ! d0n’t 3v3n g3t wh@t ! d!d t0 h@v3 ¥0v c@r3 @b0vt m3 fr0m th3 f!r$t pl@(3. ! l3d @ (r33p3r t0 ¥0v @nd 3v3n $0 ¥0v $t!ll w3r3 jv$t $0 v3r¥ 3x(!t3d @b0vt h@v!ng @ t3@mm@t3.. ! R3@ll¥ d0n’t g3t ¥0v $0m3t!m3$ l0v3.. ”
Maybe it was pathetic to call a should be enemy by now, if he had any logic to him, love but.. he didn’t hear him sooo what’s the harm?
Scar nuzzled into Grians sweater. Still seeming so peaceful in a eldritch being of suffering’s lap.
Any sane person would try their dam-dest to get away from something like this but. Scar wasn’t sane and honestly..
I don’t think I’d love him if he was
“Hey Gri…. I still miss desert duo…. I know we never officially dated but.. I still wish we did. I just.. don’t get what happened after.. were you really that mad at me for asking you to kill me? I.. maybe completely out my mind but even in secret life I was in love with you. And after it. When I knew how much you hurt me. Because.. yeh. You did hurt me.. and I think I hurt you too. I don’t blame you just..want you to know that maybe if it’s crazy I was still in love with you after I won… still am.. I know how much you complained in the desert that the watchers didn’t let you or Jim or Pearl fly. I was so happy to see you fly in wild life.. you looked like the life had been set back in you again… you’re so beautiful in so many ways.. I just wish we weren’t two very hurting people and were just. Us… again… just love each other again.. quite kisses under the wide dark night sky that won’t ever be talked about again.. hehe, maybe even tried to wipe away with your hand but only getting sand in your mouth. I’m still gonna make fun of you for that just so yk.”
“ Y3h y3@h ! w@$ dvmb 0n(e… 0r tw!(3.. 0r thr!(- ¥k wh@t n3v3r m!nd. ! w@$ jv$t dvmb. 3nd 0f $3nt3n(3. ¥0v m@¥ m@k3 fvn 0f m3 ”
It felt so normal their small banter. Even if it really wasn’t. One person didn’t even know they were getting a reply.
Grians hands continued to fiddle with scars hair. Sometimes running past his pointed ears. Scars head still pressed to grians stomach, taking deep breaths.
“I…. I love you… grian.. I love you.. I know I never said it before but.. I swear. I love you.”
Oh.
Feathers ruffling. He couldn’t help but respond as fast as possible
“! l0v3 ¥0v t00 m¥ $(@r ”
“I….. I really.. really.. really. Want a reply right now…”
.. ow
“ ! l0v3 ¥0v $(@r ”
“.. heh. God how selfish I am for wanting a reply like that when I know you can’t speak? Even if you could I know you have trouble saying that.” God he sounded so heart broken
“ ! l0v3 ¥0v $(@r.. pl3@$3, ! l0v3 ¥0v.. ! f!n@ll¥ g0t ¥0v t0 $t@¥ w!th m3 $0 pl3@$3… ! l0v3 ¥0v ” maybe he had reason for being so sad.. maybe he didn’t… he did think he’d lost scar for quite some times there before he ran, he deserves to be able to say I love you to him right? Well apparently not
“God I… I know you probably did never love me but….. wouldn’t mind hearing it..”
Oh no he won’t. He is far too sweet to be thinking like that! That’s it!! Think grian!!!
He grabbed his face and turned it up to him.
“! l0v3 ¥0v $(@r”
Scars eyes went wide like a cat.
“You…. Have you been talking this whole time…?”
Grian could feel his eyes wanting to roll. But he refrained and just sighed
“ G0d. !dk wh0’$ th3 dvmb 0n3 h3r3. ¥0v n3v3r l00k!ng vp 0r m3 n3v3r m@k!ng ¥0v l00k vp t0 $33 m¥ m0vth m0v3. ”
And que a confused scar face trying to figure what he said at max scar thinking capacity
Grian just gave up at that, smirking fondly and nodding.
Relief melted into scar like snow melting from a plant
“I…. I’m not great at reading lips but… can you say that again and let me try…?”
“! l0v3 ¥0v $(@r”
..
Maybe it took a moment too long for scar to figure it out but… god grian would do it all over again to see that face of scar so happy
“I…. I love you too grian.”
Maybe that was enough.
Grian pulling his fingers through scars hair again.
Scar as happy as ever being able to see him, not afraid of the purple or white spotted wings.
Maybe that was enough for him to rest for a while before he has to plan what the hell to do next