Chapter Text
Numb. Numb. Numb. That’s all Jay could feel. Because there was blood blood blood all over his hands, running through his fingers, he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t feel his hands, numb and tingly, because her limp body laid next to him, eyes half-lidded, a gash in her head that leaked too too much blood that he couldn’t stop.
Everything had happened so fast. One moment they were next to each other in battle. In the next, they were separated, he’d heard her scream. And when he’d finally found her she was…it was already…too…Jay’s body vibrated numbly where he knelt next to her, bloody hands settling limply in his lap.
Distantly, he heard the other’s footsteps running up from somewhere.
“Jay?” Kai was saying. “Jay, are you-” A strangled gasp. “Nya? Nee-oh First Master.” The red ninja darted forward past Jay, a blur of color that made no sense to Jay’s mind. The wild-haired boy was on his knees, grabbing his sister’s shoulders, shaking her. His desperate pleading seared into Jay’s ears, the only sound he could focus on. “Nya! No, no, no, wake up, please you gotta-” A splitting cry, hands tugging at hair.
Then Kai whirled around. “You killed her!” He wailed. Jay’s eyes barely flicked up at the pained face of his brother. Then Kai was lunging forward, tackling Jay to the pavement, but he did nothing to stop it, not even registering the way his head collided painfully with the asphalt. “You killed her, you killed her you idiot, you were supposed to protect her, you told me you would protect her-” Kai whaled on Jay, swinging his arms wildly until he was ripped away, pulled off Jay by Cole and Zane who had been standing silently nearby, watching the scene in horror.
Kai strained at his bonds, Jay could hear him kicking and screaming, over and over again the same phrase you killed her you killed her youkilledher, the fire ninja let out another desperate cry that stabbed Jay’s already shattered heart. After a moment (or eternity, Jay couldn’t tell time right now), Kai’s anger was turning into wailing grief, Jay watched distantly as Cole and Zane worked to subdue him, the earth master wrapping him up in his firm but comforting way, Zane in front of him using his placating hands and talking soothingly but the only thing that resulted was not Kai being comforted (because his sister was dead) but allowing himself to be defeated. He slumped in Cole’s grip, straining against his arms for only a moment so he could turn and bury his face into the earth ninja’s chest, now just a blubbering mess, punching at him several times before his fingers clenched Cole’s gi hard enough to rip holes in it. And Cole just patiently held him, looking over Kai’s shoulder at the scene before him, eyes distant and silent tear tracks running down his face.
Another pair of feet came running from somewhere. Lloyd skidded to a stop between Zane and Cole.
“Hey guys, what’s-” His green eyes flicked from the sobbing Kai, the mute Jay laying on the ground, and the limp body of what was his big sister. His eyes went wide in horror, face paling instantly. “No. No no nonononono no.” Lloyd turned and ran.
Zane was the only one with the capacity to turn and call after him. “Lloyd, wait-” But he was long gone, and there was more to deal with here between helping Cole with Kai, getting Jay up off the floor, and…and…
“I’ll get him.” Where had Pixal come from? Zane managed to get her a grateful smile as his love ran off after the green ninja. Zane turned around, steeling himself against the sound of Kai’s cries and his own agonizing emotions. This was the worst part of being human, and yet he was going to do everything in his power not to turn his emotions off this time. He’d learned from last time that doing so did him and no one else any good. Besides, it wasn’t fair for him to escape the pain that his brothers were going to be feeling for a long, long time. But Zane could still be logical. He could still put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing.
Jay watched numbly as the nindroid stepped towards the lifeless body of his only love. He watched as Zane kneeled at her side, partially blocking her from view. Watched the gentle blue light that flashed as he scanned her. But Jay already knew what he would find. Because Nya was gone. And it was all his fault. Kai’s wailing, choking sobs and burning fists? His fault. Zane’s quiet attempt to stay strong? His fault. Lloyd running away from another person in his life abandoning him? His fault. Cole’s silent tear tracks as he tried to ignore his own hurt? Also Jay’s fault. Nya dying because Jay wasn’t good enough or fast enough or strong enough? Yeah. Definitely Jay’s fault. It was Jay’s fault Nya was dead. And he would never forgive himself.