Work Text:
“Sun Wukong what the H*LL do you think you’re doing??”
Wukong looked up from his bag of groceries. His husband was in front of him, his handsome face enraged. Yang Jian was holding a red stained knife and glaring at him.
“Um…I was going to…cook?” Wukong replied. Why was Yang Jian so mad?
“Oh ok. I see how it is. So you don’t respect me as your husband anymore?? Do you think you’re better than me??”
Wukong was REALLY confused now. “I have no idea what you’re talking about?? Have I offended you somehow?? Was it something I said??”
Yang Jian goes over and pushes Wukong harshly, shoving him out of the way and starts sorting out the groceries. He sees that Wukong was still standing there stupefied and rolls his eyes, pointing the sharp knife at him.
“Go. Sit. Down.” Yang Jian grits his teeth.
Wukong yells back, “You can’t tell me what to do!! Also, why are you so angry? What did I do to you??”
Yang Jian sighs and continues to find the items he needs. He was already thinking of how to prepare a four course meal with these items.
“All right. Since you don’t get it, let me spill it out for you. After working for a 12 hour shift at the hospital and teaching at the university, you expect me to allow you to also COOK for me?? Oh what, are you going to clean the dishes afterwards and give me a massage too??”
Wukong was still bewildered by Yang Jian’s anger. “Um. Yeah? I mean, I wanted to do something nice and I felt bad about not spending more time with you lately. So, I wanted to-
Yang Jian glares at him as he starts chopping up the vegetables, each strike louder than the last. “What about me, huh?? Do you realize how inconsiderate and selfish you’re being right now, Sun Wukong?”
“Selfish?! But-
“I got to spend the entire day resting because there was nothing I needed to do at the office today. And then you come home, after working so hard and then not even being frustrated or anything and then start trying to COOK for me?? Who do you think I am, some wastrel couch potato? A good for nothing? Go SIT DOWN!! And RELAX!!”
Wukong takes this as a sign that Yang Ian was nearing his last straw and immediately goes to sit down on the couch, waiting while he hears Yang Jian cooking.
All the while, he hears Yang Jian muttering to himself. “D*mn monkey. Not letting me take care of him. One day he’s gonna wear himself out. Not even complaining, coming home with that wholesome smile…”
Wukong can’t help but ask, “Um, can I help you with anything?..”
“WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?? SIT DOWN AND RELAX AND LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU YOU LOVABLE SON OF A B*TCH!!”
Yang Jian finishes cooking after a while and brings him a large bowl of ramen with numerous toppings as well as vegetarian potstickers on the side. Wukong felt so loved and wanted to give Yang Jian a hug. “Thank you Yang Jian. You didn’t have to-
“Shut up and eat your food. Now, what movie do you want to watch while you eat?” Yang Jian says as he puts pillows behind Wukong and blankets on top of Wukong and sets the tray of food beside him.
“You can choose,” Wukong replies, smiling.
Yang Jian frowns and glares at him again. “Don’t. You. Dare. Make this about ME! What do YOU want?!”
Wukong swallowed his food and felt a bit scared.
Yang Jian could be so scary sometimes. “Um. How about the movie I mentioned a few days ago?”
Yang Jian nods, flipping through to find that movie and Wukong breathes a sigh of relief.
***
Later, after eating, Yang Jian gives him a back and foot massage while Wukong lies there, SUPER comfy and relaxed. This felt so nice…
In the morning, after cuddling themselves to sleep on the couch, he asks Yang Jian what he did to make him so angry.
Yang Jian scoffs and says, “You never let me love you. And you never ask me for anything. You do so much and then you do more and it just makes me go insane!!”
Wukong is quiet for a bit. And then says, “I want to go Disney Land.”
Yang Jian pets him and says, “Ok. I’ll take you. Which one do you want to go to? Japan? America?”
“The one in Shang Hai.”
“Then we’ll go.”
Wukong then says, “I want to go on a hiking trip. I want to be back in nature. I want to leave the city for a while.”
Yang Jian replies, “Ok. Where do you want to go?”
Wukong says, now a bit amused and confused, that Yang Jian was seriously agreeing to everything.
“Machu Pichu?”
“Sounds great.” Yang Jian replies.
“And…I want to go out for dinner in Paris. I’ve always wanted to eat at that restaurant on the Eiffel Tower.”
“Ok, let’s go.” Yang Jian slowly gets up and even cancels all of his work plans. His company was shocked that their boss was leaving for an entire year and wondered what they were going to do without him. He tells them to go find Xiaotian, his assistant, if they need anything. He hangs up before they can continue to persuade him.
Wukong does the same to the utter dismay of everyone else who also really need him. Yang Jian was a bit pissed at how much workload Wukong’s bosses have been burdening him with. It was time that he took better care of his lover.
“All right, now we just need to pack and we can get there in a jiffy. I’ll take us both to the locations on my Somersault Cloud.” Wukong says.
Yang Jian nods, agreeing and going to pack both of their suitcases.
Wukong then mutters to himself, and Yang Jian felt a familiar frustration rising.
“Hmmm. I do need to figure out how much everything is going to cost though…”
Yang Jian turns his head around and asks, “Did you really believe you were going to pay for everything?!”
Wukong blinks. “I mean, yeah? I was the one who wanted to go-
“That was the whole POINT!! You stupid monkey! Go brush your teeth and comb your fur and put on the expensive outfits you own on that cute butt of yours and wait until I’m done packing!!”
Wukong doesn’t try to argue and goes to do precisely that.
He chuckles when he hears Yang Jian’s angry yet low voice saying, “D*mn monkey really thought he was going to pay for everything…”
Wukong doesn’t know how lucky he was to have managed to marry someone as doting as his husband was.
This was going to be such a fun trip.
Bonus:
Wukong: I love you, Yang Jian.
Erlang: I love you more.
Wukong: No, I love YOU more.
Erlang: Those are FIGHTING words…
Wukong: But-
Erlang: JUST LET ME LOVE YOU GOSH DARN IT!