Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Growing up in the fire nation, Azula learned to notice things. She always had to be perceptive with all the chaos that surrounded her the minute she was born. Recognizing a councilman’s tell when he attempts to lie. Memorizing the echo of large halls to listen easier for footsteps. Even at the young age of 11, she could understand a lot better than people gave her credit for. Even her brother, Zuko.

Azula knows her brother protects her. She could see small burns and bruises poking out of his robe’s sleeves during lessons, and felt his stiffened muscles at the sound of loud boots walking past. Zuko always tried to brush it off when she asked, would tell her that he was fine and it was nothing she should worry about. Zuko used to whisper when they were a bit younger that he would always protect her. Azula is not stupid. Azula could tell that their father, Fire Lord Ozai, was what Zuko was protecting her from. Zuko shielded her from their father’s rage. He took the blame for her mistakes, ensuring she was never at the hand of his disrespect.

Somehow that was worse.

Their father favored her, called her a prodigy, and looked at Azula with eyes that only saw her as a weapon. Ozai played pretend at paternal duties. His smile set off a twinge of terror in Azula’s stomach, and his hand always gripped too hard when it rested on her soldier. She was pretty sure she saw finger-shaped bruises on Zuko’s once. She knew better than to ask about it by now, knew he'd brush her off like always. Their mother, Ursa, seemed nice. She floated amongst the halls, footsteps too eerily quiet for Azula to pick up on before her mother was behind her. Ursa took a liking to Zuko, whisking him away with care that brought a genuine smile to Zuko’s face. She was happy for her brother, but her mother wasn’t so kind to her. Azula saw the disgust in Ursa’s eyes when Azula first showed Ursa her blue flames. Her mother would leave her next to her father, glancing back with a wistful look that told Azula her mother would get rid of her if she could.

Like she said, Azula notices things.

Her brother was different from them. Zuko was kind and soft-spirited. Too good for the suffocating palace, and much too good for the pain he was put through. He cares about his people, the way a proper ruler should, and now Zuko was paying the price.

Azula looks over him as he lay passed out on the hospital bed. The bandages cover the large burn left on his face, but she can see it clear as day. The residual tears in Zuko’s eyes tug at Azula’s heartstrings, and the distinct hand shape of the burn pushes bile into her throat. It did not take a genius, or a simply perceptive 11 year old, to understand who did this to her brother.

Fire Lord Ozai almost killed his own son simply because he wanted to protect his own people. Azula knows that Zuko and Ozai have always been at odds, that not all his scars were from training. Azula knows she’s the favorite and even she has burned mistakes on her skin. Yet, she never thought a person could be as cruel as to maim their own kin.

Azula can’t help but wonder how easy it would be to fall out of favor with her father. What would it take for him to hurt her the same way he hurt her older brother, the only one who truly understood her? Zuko was the one who stood up for her during lessons, just as she covered for him during late night escapades. They had a system. Still, the system only worked as long as they stayed out of trouble, a requirement both of them were struggling to keep.

And now, Azula sits at Zuko’s bed; him in trouble and her unable to help. A week goes by with little to no movement, it feels as though the entire palace is terrified to breathe lest it wakes the beast. She knows there’s no way back from this. Everything has changed, but she doesn’t know what to do about it. Azula feels trapped, as every piece of information falls into place in her mind while everything falls apart.

Azula never had a strong sense of loyalty before, she barely recognized the meaning of the word in her daily life. At her brother’s bedside, Azula finally grasps the concept and her loyalty is not dedicated to worthless parental figures that abuse or abandon you, instead dedicated to a foolish boy that she calls her sibling.

So she stays by his side; comforting him in the brief moments he wakes up; guarding him while he sleeps. The only person to visit is Uncle Iroh. He enters the small and crushing room quietly, so as to not disturb the air. Azula and Uncle never talk, only brief hums and sighs that reveal the sadness they share. He can never stay for long, and Azula is soon left alone with her thoughts again. Something is going on, but Uncle will not tell her what. What more could the Fire Lord, their father, want? How else could he possibly punish Zuko? Or her? If he wanted him dead, Zuko wouldn’t be here right now. If he wanted to hurt Azula, she would be in a bed next to her brother. Azula doesn’t understand how, but she knows first-hand that there is always more for the Fire Lord to take.

After what feels like years, Zuko wakes up. Azula feels herself melt with relief. She’s been around him long enough that she knows he’s finally lucid. His breathing no longer sounds as though he was choking on smoke and his face is no longer pale with fear. Even before getting the nurse, she can tell that her brother will be fine. As much as he can be. The nurse checks him over, and Azula waits anxiously, unable to sit still or open her mouth as she waits for her brother to be okay.

The nurse turns to leave the room, and Azula finds her voice. “Where are you going?”. Her voice sounds small, and Azula’s pride chalks it up to not having anyone to speak to for a while.

The nurse looks at Azula, in an almost condescending way that makes her seem young. “I need to inform the Fire Lord of the prince’s state, sweety. He would want to know he is awake.”

Azula knows this is a lie, her father would not care, but the nurse leaves before she can retort.

As the door closes, Zuko clears his throat. Azula’s head spins towards him with a smile that quickly disappears as she spots the anguish on Zuko’s face.

“It was Father. Why was it him? I thought I’d fight the general, not him. How was I supposed to fight him? Why did refusing to fight make everything worse?” Zuko’s voice is hoarse from little usage, and his words crack over every question.

Azula stays silent. She’s been asking herself the same questions since Zuko collapsed to the ground, passed out from the pain of their fathers burning hand against his face. She still doesn’t know how to answer him. They had been taught not to fight back against the Fire Lord their whole lives, the same thing they were disciplined for, and now it made them weak? Zuko was punished for speaking up, so why did standing down make him even more worthless in their father’s eyes? Azula knew that Zuko hated contradictions, he needed everything to make sense. So did she, understanding was the one thing she feels they can control together. So, she doesn’t tell Zuko that the one thing she had learned over the past week was that their father didn’t need a reason to hurt them. She doesn’t tell him that no matter what he did, no matter how he tried to appease him, the Fire Lord would create some reason to destroy him. She doesn’t tell him that if he didn’t spend years protecting her, she would be the one in pain.

She doesn’t tell him that is what she wishes would have happened.

Instead, she holds his hand and lets him come to terms with what happened to him. She remains by his side and offers support in the only way she can, speaking hushed stories of past adventures with her friends, Mai and Ty Lee. Azula doesn’t see Zuko laugh, but keeps going when his lip twitches up. Half an hour later, the nurse comes back in.

“Excuse me, Prince Zuko? Your father sent me to inform you of your punishment.” The nurse's eyes are downcast, reverently focused on a small clipboard she holds.

Punishment? Their father burned half of Zuko's face off, but of course that was not the end. No, that was just a warm-up, and here comes his official sentence. Assault is only a lesson with their father, and it isn’t lost on Azula that the Fire Lord himself isn’t here to inform Zuko of his punishment. Instead he sends the most convenient person to do the job. Everything is a power play, and for once they are both useless to do anything to undermine their father.

Zuko stiffens on the bed next to her, but nods at the nurse to continue.

The nurse keeps her head bowed, eyes finally darting between Zuko, Azula, and the floor nervously. “The Fire Lord has declared that you are to be banished. You may never step foot on Fire Nation soil again. The only way to reverse this is to capture the Avatar and bring him to the Fire Lord, restoring your honor. The Fire Lord has granted you the use of one ship with a small crew. I believe your crew will be composed of some members of the 41st division. They are being assembled now. You are to leave within the hour.” The words are rushed, if not unpracticed, and are clouded with the fear Azula feels drop in her gut.

Zuko’s face goes white. “Banished?” he whispers, vulnerable and lost as though he doesn’t quite believe it.

Azula gently tightens her grip on his hand, as her own fingertips dig into the silk of the bedsheets. She stares the nurse down, wishing she had it in herself to be surprised. Her father’s cruelty knows no bounds, that was one thing she could always count on. Her jaw clenches painfully to hold back the words she wants to scream. Zuko can’t be well enough to leave the medical wing yet, let alone go on a boat! Azula locks eyes with Zuko. He hides it well, but she sees the water gathering in his eyes.

She turns to the nurse, keeping her voice as professional as she can. “Can you help my brother to his ship? I need to gather his things.”

The nurse nods and gently helps Zuko to his feet, folding back the sheets and swinging his legs over the mattress. Azula stumbles over to her brother and gives him a quick hug. It was nothing more than a squeeze of her arms, but she needs him to feel that she is here, no matter what.

Azula swiftly hurries to his room and throws the door open to the abandoned room. There isn’t much he’d want to take, Zuko was never one to spend time in his room anyway. Azula grabs his tsungi horn, his portrait of their mother, and the stuffed animal turtle duck that he didn’t think she knew about. His name was Agni. Rummaging under the bed, she wraps them in his favorite blanket before stopping by her own room to throw in her favorite knife.

It is only after catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror that she sees she is crying, silent tears falling down her cheeks. She gathers everything on her shoulder and wipes furiously at her face before rushing down the stairs. As she turns the corner, she nearly slams into Uncle Iroh.

“Careful there, Azula,” he says as he steadies her. He looks down and notices the bundle in her arms. Uncle meets her eyes kindly where she can see his own grief. “Is that for Zuko?” he asks.
“It’s everything he’d want,” she stares at Iroh resolutely while she chokes out the words.
Uncle’s face tightens for a second before settling back into placidness. “I can take it for you. I will be joining him on his journey, to keep him safe,” Iroh holds out his hands towards her. Azula passes him the blanket, narrowing her eyes.

If Uncle Iroh was going, Zuko had a better chance of surviving than he did right now. But as much as she loves and respects Uncle Iroh, the only one she truly trusts with Zuko’s safety is herself. Nodding to her uncle, she turns and starts walking towards her room.

Once she is out of Iroh’s sight, she unlatches the nearest window. Looking down the palace walls, Azula can see the ship she assumes would be Zuko’s by the docks. She pants a little while taking one last look at her supposed home for the last 11 years. It was never really special, only an over-decorated prison cell that people call luxury. With no one in sight, she climbs out the window and lands on plush grass with a thump. Slowly, she starts towards Zuko’s ship.
Her brother has taken care of her sorry self for years, it is time she returned the favor.

She doesn’t care what it takes, she will make sure to keep her brother safe.

Chapter Text

Zuko woke up slowly, his mind a foggy mess of half-remembered dreams and conversations. Familiar voices whispered threats against others that whispered assurances. He was not entirely sure what to believe anymore, eyes still closed as he gained consciousness.

Everything hurt, limbs aching while his head ringed itself into a pitiful migraine centering itself around his left eye. He reached up to his face, attempting to remove the tension flooding his sinuses, but found bandages instead.

Zuko jerked awake, trying to sit up in his panic. Catching his breath, he let his fingertips trail across the gauzy fabric. The entire left side of his face was covered and haphazardly taped, a clumsy and rushed take at medical care. His hand now trembled from shock and tears began to well up in his uncovered eye. The tears only doubled in quantity as his migraine grew in intensity, the pain extreme now that he was awake.

He gasped as he finally managed to pull his body from out underneath the bed’s covers, only for the room to tilt. Dizziness clouded his senses, pushing him down with the help of gravity. Zuko let out a strangled cry as he tumbled, smacking his head against the wall. Wrenching himself against the wall for balance and falling back on the bed, he allowed himself to take in his foreign surroundings.

The room was strange and unfamiliar, but he recognized the room’s structure as one from a naval ship. Zuko had been allowed to visit grounded boats with his uncle before he left for Ba Sing Se. Those memories felt miles away, and Zuko could only think he himself was miles away from everything he’d known.

Had he been kidnapped by pirates? Had some Earth Kingdom rebels managed to take him hostage? There were not many in the central Fire Nation, but nothing could be ruled out.
He tried to think of a way he could fight them off, fighting the pain in his head to grasp some sort of mental coherence. The door to the room creaked and Zuko turned to see his Uncle Iroh creeping in.

“Prince Zuko! You’re awake!” Iroh whispered, keeping his voice low and his smile soft. Iroh set a small tray of tea, water, and simple medical supplies Zuko didn’t see before on the bedside table. Stressed, Zuko’s hands went to the bandages, but Iroh quickly sat down by his nephew’s bedside and pushed his hands away from his face. “No, no, leave the bandages alone. You must rest, and heal.” He glanced down, and Zuko could see tears in his eyes along with a look of tempered despair.

Zuko didn’t understand what was happening, memories of the last few days disappearing from his mind. He tried to think back, but everything was a blank and the focus pushed discomfort throughout his head.

“Uncle?” Zuko rasped, “What happened? Where are we? I don’t-” he broke into a fit of coughing, his throat hoarse from unuse.

Iroh handed him a glass of water and waited patiently as Zuko took small but needed sips.
“Zuko, my nephew. There was, um, an…accident at the war meeting. Do you remember accompanying me?” His uncle urged gently.

Zuko’s eyebrows furrowed. “The war-Oh! The war meeting! I remember sitting with you and listening to father’s plans for the war.” He scoffed. “Everything is jumbled and confusing. Uncle, what happened?”

“Do you remember the general?” Iroh’s eyes were sad but pleading. “Do you remember…what you said?”

Zuko’s eyes widened slightly in realization. “The general,” He stumbled and struggled through the hazy encounter. “He proposed a horrible plan, to hurt our own soldiers. I told him it was foolish and unfaithful to the Fire Nation. I was ordered to an Agni Kai, for disrespect, oh spirits, Uncle what did I do?”

Uncle Iroh merely gazed at Zuko, a comforting hand being placed on his. “The Agni Kai?” Iroh urged once again.

Zuko’s breaths came out in small pants as he remembered. “The Agni Kai.” His voice barely even a whisper. Awareness crashed over him, drowning him in a wave of horror and shame. The general nowhere to be seen, his father’s hand against his face, begging on his knees for mercy that was never granted.
You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher. “Oh…” The word was strangled as all the air in his lungs exited him, panic and fear left in its wake. Bile rose into his throat as he threw up off the side of the bed, sobs and gags pulled from him.

Zuko barely even registered Iroh, wrapping him up to comfort him as he cried and babbled out words that could no longer help him. “I am so sorry, I-I am so SO sorry. This is all my fault. I didn’t mean to, to disrespect father and everyone else. I would never betray the Fire Nation o-or our family. Doesn’t father know that? Oh spirits, this is all my fault. I deserve this.”

Iroh’s hands lift Zuko’s gaze to his. “No, my nephew. You deserve much better, much more,” Iroh sighs, “much more than we can give you.”

“Uncle,” Zuko sniffled, “What is going to happen now?”

For a second, Iroh looked broken and helpless. Something Zuko has never seen before crossed his uncle’s face. “The Firelord, he has banished you Zuko. You are not allowed to return until you have captured the Avatar.”

Zuko’s stomach dropped. “The Avatar? But, no one has seen or heard of them for-” His voice trailed off. His entire life and dignity relied on an urban legend, all because of his mistake.

“There is nothing I can do to change the Firelord’s mind, no matter how hard I try. He has decreed your banishment as Agni’s will, so we must follow. If it is truly Her will, then I believe She has your best interest at heart.” Iroh stood up from the bedside, lowering a hand to squeeze Zuko’s shoulder. “The road forward will be one paved with hardship, but you must come out the other side in spite of it. I will help you the best I can, I will be here. For now, though, you should get some rest.” Iroh strained a smile and moved towards the door.

“Uncle,” Zuko called out, stopping his uncle in the doorway. “I am going to capture the Avatar. I am going to regain my honor.” Iroh’s eyebrows raised slightly as a small and sad puff of laughter left his chest. Sparing one more glance at his nephew, Iroh shook his head slightly and left.

Zuko stared after him, still shocked and turned from the uprooting news. His entire life had been upended in an instant. They hadn’t even waited to send him off. He lay there in shock before pushing the circumstances that led him here out of his mind. If his way back home was capturing the Avatar, then he better get started. It didn’t matter that no one had seen the Avatar in a hundred years; if that’s what Zuko needed to do, then he would be the first.

Zuko took a deep breath and tried to stand up again. His head still spun and his body swayed, but he was able to push himself onto two steady feet. He looked around the room. There wasn’t much; just a desk, a Fire Nation banner, and a closet. He wondered vaguely if anyone had thought – or cared enough – to grab his things. He stumbled over to the closet to check, using the bed and desk as leverage for balance. Pulling the closet open, Zuko gasped at singular thing in the hold: Azula standing there, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Took you long enough, dummy,” she said. Zuko gaped at her as she pushed past him into the room, pulling the main door closed and locking it.

“I thought I was banished!” Zuko sputtered. Why in Agni’s name was she here?

“You are,” Azula shrugged, leaning against the iron door.
Zuko frowned. “I thought we were leaving the Fire Nation?” he tried.

“We are,” Azula nodded. Zuko’s gut flared in frustration. It was like his sister was trying to be difficult.

“So what are you doing here!” Zuko shouted, throwing his hand up only to lose his balance a bit in the process.

“Keep your voice down!” hissed Azula, hurrying over to steady Zuko. “I’m not about to get kicked off just ‘cause you don’t know when to be quiet!”

Kicked off? Why would she be forced to-of course. Zuko gasped. “Did you sneak onboard?”

Azula glared at him. “Yes, I did, and I’d like to stay onboard if you don’t mind.”

Zuko made a face at her. Why on Earth had his 11 year old sister decided to come with him? He was a traitor to their country! Disrespected and banished for spirits sake! Following him basically made her an accomplice, practically signing her own death warrant.

“Listen, Azula,” Zuko began, “I was banished. You can’t stay with me. I’ll be executed if I ever step foot on Fire Nation soil again, at least without the Avatar. You need to go back so you can be the heir to the throne. Father needs you. The Fire Nation needs you. You need to learn how to rule, how to protect our people. You need to be better than I was.” At some point, his voice transformed into a whisper, imploring his little sister to save herself.

Azula shook her head, in a defiant way that reminded Zuko she was a child. He supposed he was too. “Zuko, I don’t know how to do that, but I know that you need help. I can keep you safe, better than anyone else. I know you. I don’t care about home, I just care about you.” She abruptly stood up and marched back to the closet, throwing the closet door back open.

She picked up a small bundle and handed it to Zuko silently, then stared resolutely at the ground. Zuko slowly untied the knot keeping it together, peeking inside. It was his favorite blanket, the one Lu Ten handed down to him when he was much younger. Azula always used to tease him about barely being able to sleep without its presence, even when traveling.

Azula had wrapped it around his most prized possessions, along with her best knife [a knife she almost stabbed him with when he stole it from her a few years back]. He knew how much it meant to her, it was a symbol of her friendship with Mai and Ty Lee.

Zuko looked back up at Azula, who shyly made eye contact. He saw the words she was trying to convey, but would never dare utter out loud. You need me, and I need you. That is all that matters.

Zuko swallowed over his dry throat. She had always planned on coming with him, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. When did she grow up, huh?

He didn’t know what would happen to her if he sent her back, but he was sure it couldn’t be good. Right now, the Firelord saw Azula as the perfect child, always had. But what would happen without Zuko to take his anger? If Zuko wasn’t there to mess up, who would their father compare Azula to? What expectations would he gain for her? At least if she stayed here, Zuko could keep an eye on her. The safest place in the world right now for her was by his side, or maybe in the closet.

He doesn’t care what it takes, he will make sure to keep his sister safe.