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“I’m not him.” He thought to himself while picking off the scales on his tail. All day he was told “Dan Feng this, Dan Feng that- Dan Feng, Dan Feng, Dan Feng.” Not once today was he referred to by his actual name, Dan Heng. The voices of the Mirage Echoes in Scale gorge Waterscape resided in his mind- Never silencing but getting louder by the second. “It’s your fault”,
“you’re the vidyadhara’s greatest mistake”,
“We should’ve destroyed your egg before you were reborn.”
With no other way to silence the voices he sought to maim his dragon form. Maybe if he didn’t look like him, he’d no longer be seen as Dan Feng. He wouldn’t have to hear that name again. He would finally be able to stand what he sees in the mirror.
He spent hours on the bathroom floor, picking the scales off his tail. The pain was sharp- as if he were pulling off his own finger nails. But he didn’t care, as long as he didn’t look like him.
Weeks go by and his tail becomes more and more disfigured. It tried to heal itself but the more scales that grew back, the more he peeled off. The Astral Express grows more and more worried about Dan Heng with each passing day; it’s been weeks since he last left his room. Himeko always left dinner at his door each night, concerned to see that he’d return most of his food- sometimes all of it.
Welt(with Stelle and Caelus behind him)would try and talk with him through the door each day but would hear no response. March, Pom Pom, Stelle, and Caelus would all write him letters saying how they missed him and wished to see him again(some letters more aggressive than others).
One night, as March is getting ready to head to bed; she walks past Dan’s door, noticing that its creaked open. She pokes her head inside, “Dan Heng, Are you alright…? It’s been a few weeks since we’ve last seen each other. Everyone on the express misses you.” She said as she slowly stepped inside. She gently closed the door and turned to see him curled up, lying on the ground. “Dan Heng?” She asked with concern in her voice. She quickly walked over and kneeled down to him to see if he was alright. She felt a weird texture beneath her as she kneeled. She looked down and she was lying on scales. She looked around herself and noticed various scales lying all over the ground. She turned her head to Dan Heng and noticed how bruised and maimed his tail was. “Dan Heng, Whats going on?!” She cried in worry. He looked up at her, wiping his face as if he just finished crying. “March… Do I look like him?… like Dan Feng?”
“What??? Dan Heng this isn’t funny anymore, you have to tell me what’s going.” She replied as she shook his shoulder.
He sighs, “Sorry, I guess you wouldn’t know since you’ve never met my past incarnation.” He looks up at her again, this time noticing the worry in her eyes and quickly sits up. “Sorry, I shouldn’t involve you in my interpersonal affairs. You should be heading to bed March.”
However, March wasn’t leaving until she got an answer. “No, I’m not leaving you like this. So tell me what’s going on before I get Himeko.”
Dan Heng sighs and decides to explain his dilemma. He tells her about how his past and the mirage echoes of the waterscape have been haunting him. He tells her how he sought to escape his past life. How he hoped that altering his dragon form would help him be seen differently, not only by others but himself. That picking off his scales became is coping mechanism to submerge his intrusive thoughts. The entire time March listened and nodded whilst hugging him from behind, hoping to provide some sort of comfort.
He shifts to face her, “Forgive me March.” He said as his eyes started to swell with tears.
Holding his face in her hands, she wiped away his tears and said “I may not know much about your past and where you came from, but I do know that they’re wrong. You’re Dan Heng and you belong here with us on The Astral Express. Some 'high elder criminal' of your past does not define who you are. After all I fell in love with Dan Heng not Dan Feng.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and continues to hold him.
Touched by her words, he nods and pulls her in for a tight hug. As he embraced her, his tail adjusted to wrap around both of them.
“Thank you March, for being here…
I love you too.”