Chapter Text
There are far too many pictures hanging on the wall. What once used to be frames of her parents on their wedding day, and her younger self smiling in the pile of plushies dad gifted her, have been replaced by her and mom having a picnic with the Minamotos, mom drinking tea with Teru’s mom, and way to many pictures of Aoi with Teru, from her little self faking a smile for the camera of their ‘lovely engagement’ to her most recent ‘dates’.
Erasing all traces of dad's presence from their home didn’t bother Aoi, who understood trash was meant to be taken out. It was how mom gave them a new life of her own making that made Aoi feel like a liar in their home.
Mom likes to stare at the pictures, proud of the story she created. Aoi tends to look away, avoiding them as she would the familiar silhouette on her neighbour’s window.
She hates every framed picture of her and Teru. Some dates are nice, they can relax and chat without a filter, but the pictures on the wall only show them at their fakest, taken by high quality party cameras that would never capture the joy she sees on her blurrier phone pictures.
(Her fake smile has grown more convincing through the years, nearly indistinguishable from her real ones.)
She can almost believe the beautiful couple haunting her walls are hopelessly in love.
They make such a good couple.
Ask anyone.
(Just not him-)
When Teru holds her hands she leans on his arm. When he tells her a weird joke that isn’t funny she giggles. When she hooks their arms together Teru blushes. When she shivers he lovingly wraps her in his jacket, only taking it back when there are no longer eyes on them and teasing her for forgetting to wear a coat during the winter.
It’s an act she has grown comfortable in.
Or so she tells herself.
Truth to be told, no matter how in sync she becomes with the cast, being the lead actress of a play for ten years can be tiring.
It doesn’t matter that Teru’s acting skills jumped from an average of 0 to 3, to a constant score of 9 to 10, if she doesn’t drop her stupid smile soon she’ll keep the spotlights on until the day she dies, the countdown for their wedding making her want to tear the curtains into tiny pieces.
Teru may be able to comfort himself by coming up with elaborate dates but no matter how much he got her back, this lie is draining for the both of them. She doesn’t want to keep scripting new scenes for an increasingly wider audience and looking away from the way it hurts her childhood friend her first friend her first-
But she knows she’ll keep doing it anyway, unable to break Mom’s heart.
(That hasn't changed. She doubts it ever will. It’s so childish, to feel bitter and curse her mom in her head yet still look up to her.)
Teru is determined to stay on this play forever, to dance eternally to the beat of his parents' cheers. She knows not failing his family's expectations is important to him, and she is terrified that if she ever speaks her mind she’ll drag her childhood friend down with her.
She can fantasize about putting her foot down and ripping their engagement contract as much as she wants, but she isn’t a kid anymore, each passing year giving her more reasons to stay by Teru’s side.
Slowly, yet quicker than she would have wanted, their calendar gained a heart shaped stain, her wedding getting a set date.
.
Aoi saw Akane in the grocery store, he looked tired, reading the ingredients of the canned soup in his hand without registering anything.
If she was alone, she might had approached him, never knowing what to say but always longing to check on him, but mom was here, her presence making Aoi self-conscious of every micromovement she did near Akane
Aoi tried to change directions in a natural way, but mom had already stopped the card, looking at Akane.
Aoi's smile twitched, hating when the two interacted.
“Akane-kun?” Mom called out, making every inch of her body tense up. Thankfully Aoi had enough experience acting to mimic mom's pleased surprise.
“It’s been a while since you visited!” Mom smiled at the startled boy “How have you been, dear? Aoi and Teru-kun miss playing with you.”
Aoi held on tighter to her purse, hating how mom always made light of their relationship, the months Akane spent openly miserable by her engagement chalked as a phase, a silly crush from a kid too young to know the difference between falling in love and not wanting to share a childhood friend.
“Akane-san.” Akane smiled, more focused on Aoi than her mom “Ao-chan.” Her heart skipped a beat at the nickname, the convenience store lamp giving his brown eyes a faint golden hue, almost distracting her from his eyebags.
‘Mom is here.’ She closed her eyes, her fake smile stitched to her face, ‘You’re smitten with Teru, your engagement is a blessing, Akane is just an old friend.’
“It’s good to see you two. I would love to hang out again.” Akane sounded a tad awkward “But I’m a little sick.”
“I hope you feel better soon,” Aoi said, well aware he wouldn’t. A bleeding heart doesn’t heal, and with her wedding approaching, only two weeks away, she wouldn’t be surprised if the distress gave him a fever.
“Me too, you need full strength for the wedding;” Mom frowned, touching on the forbidden topic.
Akane held on tighter to his shop basket, nearly bending the iron “Of course.” He laughed, like a liar “I would never miss Aoi’s big day!”
Aoi had to look away, focusing on the way mom smiled, the light in her eyes genuine.
“It will be great to have you with us.” Mom softened, “She’s been dreaming about it for years now.”
Aoi made no comment, giving them a closed eyed smile.
.
She thought about their encounter again and again, brewing red fruits tea.
“I’m worried about Akane-kun. I’ll make him some tea.” Aoi cupped her cheek “I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
“Alright dear.” Mom said after a moment of hesitation.
Aoi opened her cupboard, immediately faced with a glittery heart mug. She glanced at it, relieved that she doesn’t have to keep appearances and pick the tacky mug her stupid fiance gifted her after she forced him to dress ‘more properly’ for a date.
So petty, that boy.
(Man. Teru is 20, he is already a man)
She pushed the thought aside and eyed a white mug with pastel cats. It was an old gift from Nene, one of her favorites.
(Does she want to think about Akane putting his lips on it from now on?)
Aoi ran her finger on the mug’s rin with a tiny blush, thinking about it for long enough for the kettle to hiss. She startled, looking at the other mugs available and feeling her heart squeeze at the one with dancing squirrels on it.
(That was one of the mugs she actually treasures from Teru, she can’t use it.)
She couldn't use her favorite mugs for this, randomly picking a pure black mug with smiling faces on it instead.
.
“Good evening Akane-kun.” Aoi smiled sweetly and gave him the steaming red berries and lemon tea “Here, make sure you get better soon~”
“Thank you.” Akane hesitated before taking a step closer to accept her gift. His fingers burned when they brushed against hers, making them both briefly blush. Aoi kept her smile the same.
No one commented, keeping a polite distance away after the tea was delivered.
“Come in.” Akane invited, smiling sweetly, “The couch is yours.”
“Thank you.”
She sat down, letting her eyes linger on the pictures of her and Akane smiling on this very couch, his big grin blinding as he hugged her, both happy to celebrate Akane’s 6 year old birthday.
The shy girl was barely smiling in the picture, unaware of how good her life was.
“Are you nervous?” Akane asked, closing his eyes when she looked back “...About your wedding.”
“No.” She lied “I have everything planned well.”
“You’re very meticulous” He nodded, playing with the rim of her mug before sipping the tea “...” He blushed a tiny bit “The tea is really good.”
‘A Minamoto’s wife needs to know how to serve tea.’
“Thank you <3”
Silence.
“...How are you?” She changed the topic.
The instant way he smiled again made her heart clench. “I’m good. Nene-san checked on me a few hours ago.”
“Nene-san?” Aoi's jaw clenched, biting down the urge to ask ‘Since when do you use her first name? Are you the guy she’s been gushing about having charming eyes recently?’
But that’s none of her business rather rude, she should be happy.
“I’m glad you two are finally getting along <3”
“Hah... I wouldn’t say we get along.” Akane smiled, sounding defeated. “But… We have more in common than I had imagined.”
She could imagine Nene ranting about her failed attempts to find love while Akane harshly reprimanded her for still falling blindly for any guy with a pretty face, yet still comforting her broken heart with a sympathy that must felt far more beliavable than Aoi’s own.
The mental image made her jealous.
(A happy wife has no place in the broken hearts club.)
“Not much luck in love?” Aoi asked, cupping her cheek. “How strange, I heard you got a love letter.”
“No luck at all.” Akane said with a sheepish smile, the way his gaze lingered on hers making Aoi shiver, “You don’t have to worry about it.”
‘I'll always want you. Only you.’
Akane looked away at her unchanging smile and Aoi felt dizzy, holding on tight to her own hand.
“You are my friend, I can’t help but care.” She tried to ignore the suffocating tension in the room, the double meanings, but it was hard to even look Akane in the eye.
“I know.”
‘You’ve always been a big worrier, and an even bigger liar.’ went unsaid, though she could be overthinking the slope of his smile. This alien smile he never wore when they were kids.
(He is still so familiar, yet so distant.)
She analysed him as if he was a picture on the wall, at the way his hair style remained the same, yet his eyes changed, his nose and eyebrows thicker, the face she was sure belonged to her best friend not like she remembers.
(… Are they still best friends?)
Aoi finally let her smile fall, voice growing hollow “Do you?”
“Yes.” Akane's smile changed into something more genuine, it made him look less tired. “You’ve always been a big worrier.” He chuckled, “You used to watch your garden when it thundered because you were scared it would damage the flowers.”
That was ages ago!
“I did not.” Aoi blushed, heart aching. It's been a while since she gardened, she should go back to it.
Akane chuckled and Aoi bit her lips, liking when his eyes crinkled. “...You don’t have to come.”
‘Please don’t show up. You don’t need to hurt yourself for me.’
(Please don’t put a dent on the project me and Teru has been working on for over a decade)
“...I want to.” Akane looked at the tea cup in his hands, before looking back at her, his kind gaze asking ‘Do you want me to come?’
‘Yes.’ She thought.
She said nothing.
Akane held on tighter to his mug as the silent dragged out, not daring to get closer.
“...”
Akane coughed “...Do you want to watch a movie before you go?”
‘Yes, always.’
Aoi shook her head, getting up from the couch, least she actually takes him on his offer “I am busy.”
“...Wedding preparations?”
“Yup~” Aoi plastered on a smile. Always smiling and smiling, no different from a clown. “I should go, lots to do~”
Akane blinked at her abrupt change in mood “Yes, I… I bet.”
They stared at each other. Aoi could see Akane was having trouble following the script, unable to say goodbye and put an end to this visit, so she spared him the burden, turning her back on him “See you aroun-”
“Wait!” He held her hand, his voice firm.
Aoi's eyes widened, her body freezing despite how loose his hold is.
She couldn’t help the small blush on her cheeks, heart beating out of her chest, hoping so hard for a confession, a protest, a kiss. A messy and private and real kiss she could choose as her first.
But when their eyes met Akane let her go, looking more desperate than determined. “Ao-chan…” His face was unreadable, voice painfully quiet “Are you happy?”
“That’s a careless thing to ask,” Aoi whispered, clenching the hand Akane had held until her nails dug into her soft skin.
(How long has it been since they held hands? A year? Two?)
“I know.” Akane said, “I just…” He didn’t elaborate, studying her in silence. She wanted to look away but she stood her ground, taking their solitude as a rare opportunity to freely stare at him.
“You’re my best friend.” Akane whispered “I want you to be happy.”
Of course he does. The idiot hasn’t changed since they were four.
“I am.” Aoi softened, pushing asside all of her selfish feelings to reassure him “Teru is a good man.”
“He is.” Akane agreed, heartbroken but sounding more genuine than she would have wanted. “He’ll be good to you.”
‘You would be better.’ No, don’t say that.
‘You’ll find a good woman too, I’m sure.’ Yes, say that.
“He will.” Aoi said instead, despising the idea of Akane dating too much to force the niceties out.
Silence.
“I need to go.”
“I know.” He softened “...Goodbye Ao-chan.”
It felt like an end.
She doesn’t want it to end.
She should hug him, make it a farewell she won’t regret.
(She can kiss him right now. The curtains are closed, no one would know.)
Akane avoided eye contact, Aoi couldn’t move, guilt gwaing at her.
(It would be cruel to kiss him and run away when she knows he loves her too.
…That’s probably what stopped Akane from keeping his hold firm in her hands. Selfish they may be, but not to the point of cruelty.)
“...See you at the wedding, Ao-chan.” Akane reached out for her but hesitantly let his hand limp by his side.
“See you at the wedding.” She accepted, it may hurt to see him there, but it would hurt more not to have him near.
Akane gave her a small smile “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
.
Aoi threw a rock at the lake, making the shiny surface ripple, her strength sinking the leaves that have been peacefully floating above the cold waters.
Every bad day ends with her coming back here, to this stupid lake.
She did the right thing, but she couldn’t help the regret burning in her core, the whispers in her soul that she should have kissed him.
It would have been reckless, most definitely a mistake that would only serve to make her miss him more after she got married and moved away, something that would make her feel guilty everytime she looked at mom or held her fiance's hand, but it would have been hers.
(Would she become a shadow of her father if she had stolen that kiss, leaving Akane heartbroken, and making mom resent her too?
Just thinking about it made her throw another rock at the lake.)
She can’t break this engagement. She simply can’t. And she hates it.
“Something on your mind?” Teru asked, sitting by her side.
Aoi spared him a cold look, biting her lips.
If only Teru was braver than her. If only he could take the first step and break their engagement.
(He won’t. He is crushed by so many expectations, Aoi knows nothing will ever take priority over making his family happy. He is a family man to the bone.)
Still, she couldn’t help but keep an eye out for a miracle, needing something that would make their team up stronger and push them to break out of this fate. Something. Anything. “Have you ever fallen in love, Teru-kun?”
“Nope,” Teru hummed, throwing a rock of his own at the lake, “No one is as good as me~” He bumped their shoulders together, his smile bittersweet as he watched his rock sink, not skipping a single time. “We are stuck till death do us parth, Aoi-chan.”
Aoi huffed, hiding her head on her knees.
“Have you chosen your clothes yet?” Teru asked, poking the rocks near his feet “I will use dad’s wedding Kimono.”
“Mom burned her wedding dress.” She burned all of dad’s presents “We will go buy a new one tonight.”
She’ll likely space out during their trip, not sure if it would be better to plan her own hollow wedding or let mom decide everything: It's more of her big day than Aoi's so it’s only fair.
(Aoi doesn’t want a kimono. She wants a western dress with a thick veil to hide behind.)
.
It's tradition to fold 1000 paper cranes to ensure that a marriage would be long lasting, so every night Aoi and her mom sat down and folded paper cranes.
She was numb to it, preferring to risk thorn cuts over papercuts, but finding some comfort in the mechanical task.
Mom took a break to give them tea, pausing to look fondly at the picture of little her and Teru’s engagement. Aoi's smile was wobbly in the picture, amateur, as expected of someone’s first day playing their part. “Look at you… You look like a porcelain doll.” Mom smiled. “You’ll be stunning in your wedding kimono.”
“I want a western dress, with frills.” Aoi admitted in a moment of boldness.
Mom set the tea down for her, and Aoi noticed it was the heart mug. “Teru-kun has a kimono, it won’t match dear.”
“We mix western costumes with traditional ones all the time,” Aoi inwardly sighed, “It would be memorable <3”
Mom's eyes crinkled. “It will be memorable regardless, Aoi.” She sobered at Aoi's lack of smile, pating her head as she reassured “Teru is a good man, you’re in good hands.”
She wasn’t talking about that, she never is, but as always, dad’s presence seems to haunt mom, his hold on her heart stronger than anything a Minamoto can exorcise.
(Maybe she got it from her, this inability to let go)
Aoi paused her folding and glanced at the calendar: One week until the big day.
.
The trip to get a dress was a blur, she became a sleepwalker the moment she realized it was a kimono store, no western dresses in sight.
Mom picked a light pink, yellow, and white kimono. It’s pretty. It fitted her part of the show, so she had no complaints.
She only snapped out of her detached mood when she found a black mug with smiling faces on the cupboard.
Akane gave her mug back.
(He was here)
Aoi sweated, holding on to the mug.
Did he deliver the mug and leave or did he linger? Did he notice the added pictures on the walls? The pile of paper cranes? Could he tell she was faking her joy on some of the pictures? Was he as fooled as everyone else after so many years of distace? Would he carefully run his hand over her image?
Aoi shook the idea away. He would not.
(She hopes not.)
Let her him move on.
She sat on the table, smoothing her skirt, and started folding paper cranes to distract herself, noting there were three new cranes on the table, a bit less smoothly folded than her own.
She wants to cry.
.
Aoi went out with Nene distract herself, always able to have fun when they are together.
But even Nene had the marriage fever, she should have known the hopeless romantic girl wouldn’t let Aoi forget about it.
Still, it was nice to sing at the Karaoke and play dance dance revolution after a shared banana split.
.
“I ran into Akane-kun at the cake shop last night.” Teru said. “He still likes the raspberry one the most, you two really love picking favorites and never changing your minds.”
Aoi gave him an annoyed look, trying not to overthink why he is calling her best friend Akane-kun now, and focusing on Teru’s betrayal. One of the few times she could talk with Akane without feeling too awkward or scrutinized is when the three hang out as childhood friends.
And yet here he is, bragging about it. “You could have invited me.”
‘Or not said anything at all.’
“I couldn’t, it would ruin the mood. Akane-kun was trying so hard.” His eyes crinkled, a hint of malice in them “Best shovel talk so far, I would score it an 8.”
Aoi blinked, hoping her frown was deep enough to hide her tiny blush. “He gives you shovel talks…?”
“He used to, it’s been years since the last one.” Teru dismissed with a charming smile “Akane-kun has a lot of nerves when we are alone, I’ll tell you that.”
Okay, she couldn’t keep ignoring it anymore. In fact, she is pretty sure Teru is repeating it so much just to annoy her “He has a temper.” Aoi hummed, acting as casual as possible “Since when do you call him Akane-kun?”
“He is my childhood friend too.” Teru said, as if Akane didn’t hate his guts for years. “We talk a lot in the student council room.” His eyes crinkled “Jealous?”
Yes.
“You wish.” She dismissed, keeping her head high.
“So he can be my best man?” Teru asked.
“Of course, my dear Teru-kun <3” Aoi smiled, not falling for the cheap bait, everyone knows Kou will be his best man. Though the taunt did make her a bit worried. Teru rarely reverts into the brat he used to be as a kid for no reason.
“Humf.” Teru pouted “You are no fun, Aoi-chan.”
“Speaking of fun.” Aoi said “How many paper cranes have you folded?”
Teru’s smile grew tense. “200.”
“You promised 300 by now.” Aoi gave him an unimpressed look. “Do that before going behind my back to eat cake.”
“I brought some for you, my dear. I’ll give it to you when you visit home again~”
Aoi wasn’t swayed, ceasing to beat around the bush "What's wrong?"
Teru's smile twitched, fully dropping in the face of her firm stare.
“...We had issues at work.” Teru got serious, as always, not going in detail about his work, though this was enough information for Aoi to understand why he was more obnoxious than usual, bringing up Akane when he usually sticks to their rules.
Teru is taking his stress out on her.
“I’m stressed too.”
"I know." Teru looked down. “...Sorry. The wedding has been making everything harder.”
Aoi inwardly sighed as she pat his head.
He leaned on her touch, careful not too push too much of his weight on her “...I’ll finish the remaining 100 paper cranes tonight. Promise.”
He stoped calling Akane ‘Akane-kun’ after this.
(Aoi wonders how much of what Teru said was true, how much of it was just him trying to get a rise out of her.)
.
Two days until the wedding.
Aoi folded origami cranes with her fiance, determined to get the remaining 250 done today.
Aoi stared blankly at a brown paper crane, sure if Akane was her groom these would have been done a week before the wedding, happy to share random facts about cranes and the history of weddings as they folded each paper.
(Would he? Akane changed a lot over the years, maybe he would work in silence, taking it as seriously as he takes his school work, or he could be too giggly about the wedding to see it as work, making the cranes kiss-)
The way she could not tell what kind of husband Akane would be nearly made her crumble her paper crane.
(She shouldn’t be thinking of another man right now. Stop.
Just stop. What’s wrong with you?)
She blushed, frowning as she moved to her next paper.
.
“Look at all of these flowers!” Nene sounded breathless, twirling in front of all the flower covered bamboos, as if she could hold the entire shrine in her hands.
Aoi hasn't gardened in a while but she still appreciates flowers and weeds alike. Watching Nene lovingly caress the cut roses placed on the wooden tables made Aoi feel detached.
(She had wished, in the safety of her own mind, to keep the thorns on every rose, leave a sprinkle of her unease seep into the wedding, but now that Nene is holding on to the flower, she is happy she didn’t say anything.
Today is a happy day, no one else needs to get hurt.)
.
“The guests will be here soon! Let’s get you changed up!!” Nene cheered, so excited she barely registered Aoi holding her hands through the whole day for comfort, even more clingy than usual “You’ll be the most beautiful bride, I can’t wait!” She squeezed Aoi’s hands “Minamoto-senpai will be speechless!”
Aoi chuckled, sure he only cares about his own beauty.
“It’s an honor to be your maid of honor! I promise to do my best.” She babbled, squeezing Aoi’s hands again “How are you feeling?”
“So excited!” Aoi lied, giving a little jump of joy.
Nene squealed, jumping too. Her genuine delight did make Aoi feel better about today, eager to put on a show, make sure Nene and her big heart and even bigger dreams kept seeing love as something beautiful.
(She wonders if Akane will show up. She isn’t sure if she wants him here anymore.)
.
It was as nice as it was suffocating to have Nene adjust the back bow of her wedding kimono, gushing by her ear about how lucky she is to have such a beautiful figure, and such a handsome husband.
Aoi focused only on having her hair brushed, something Nene rarely does. She also relaxed as she brushed Nene’s hair back.
.
The wedding was beautiful and empty.
She went through every ritual on autopilot, being purified, doing the nuptial cups, and exchanging vows as if it was an exam she memorized every answer. She exchanged gifts with her fiance after: Teru gave her a suehiro fan, to symbolize happiness, and Aoi gave him a thread of linen, to symbolize a strong marriage.
(She vaguely wondered if his family were also the ones to decide what gift he should give her.)
It felt more sincere than she had expected, to share a toast to their parents and express her gratitude to her mother. Regardless of how heavy her wedding kimono feels, mom will always be a person she loves deeply. Seeing her tearful smile made this entire ceremony worth it.
.
Things seemed to happen too fast after the toast, she watched flower petals be thrown on the ground, exchanged rings, and grew nervous as she cut a slice of the wedding cake, needing to feed her fian- her husband the first bite to show her love.
It was something that would have drastically reduced Teru’s points on a date, a line to not be crossed, but today is a day of pure love to the public. So she smiled, she blushed, and fed her husband the stupid slice of cake .
Teru did the same and Aoi had a brief staring contest with the creamy slice on the top of his fork before taking the offered bite.
She could feel the audience's eyes on them, waiting for it.
“You look too miserable for someone marrying me.” Teru whispered.
Aoi looked at those blue eyes, feeling a little better at the way they crinkled with mischief, making her feel as if they were little kids again, stumbling into their friendship and finding joy in the weirdest of places.
‘Look at all of these dumb adults, we fooled them all, we are pros at this!’
Aoi's smile didn’t feel genuine, but the weight in her stomach loosened, cupping his face and waiting until he leaned closer to kiss him.
When she gets close enough to feel his breath on her face, the weight in her stomach comes back, making her almost hesitate.
(Hesitating is not an option, the audience is waiting. She trained for a decade for this moment, she can’t fumble the main event.)
Aoi closed her eyes, the darkness giving her the strength to finish this.
Teru’s lips are soft, the way he holds her waist is familiar. Her heart may not be beating out of joy but she never feels scared by his side, fully trusting her partner.
When she broke the kiss, the audience cheered at the top of their lungs. All in all, not a bad first kiss!
(She hates it here. She want to run to the lake again)
Aoi put on a smile, leting her gaze linger on Teru’s own smile before glancing at the audience: Mom was crying in joy, her phone in hand, no doubt taking a million photos of them, Nene was in the front row with mom, her red eyes shiny with tears, holding on tight to a pack of tissue as if they were a bouquet and sobbing about how happy she is for Aoi.
The Minamotos seemed content. Kou was smiling, his parents clapped with soft eyes, it was a beautiful day-
A hint of brown on a lonely table nearly made Aoi's mask fall. Akane was clapping too, blending with the smiling crowd. The weight on her shoulders grew, nearly crushing her at the bittersweet look in his eyes.
Aoi closed her eyes as she forced her smile to widen “Everyone!” She raised her bouquet, hand by her mouth to mimic a megaphone “Time for the bouquet throw!”
The guests got up, visibly excited. Nene rushed to the center of the small crowd, determined to find the best spot to get the flowers and increase her chances of finding love. Akane waved at her, making Nene widen her smile “Akane-kun! When did you arrive? I didn’t notice you.”
"I've been here for a while."
Aoi held on tighter to her bouquet. Liar. She would have noticed him if he had arrived sooner.
“Aoi-chan.” Teru leaned closer, ignoring the way the audience giggled at the casual show of intimacy.
She used the noise as a cover to whisper “I'm okay."
He relaxed, eyes soft. So he was good too.
“It's everyone ready?!” Aoi yelled again and raised her flower bouquet. The crowd went wild.
“The bouquet!!” Nene yelled louder than most, shaking Akane with pure delight. Akane had a small smile of his is own, but his eyes didn’t shine as he let Nene shake him. “Aaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Aoi made a show of spinning before her throw but she had a target from the start, wishing for Nene to get it.
She locked eyes with Akane, hoping if she misses Nene, it wouldn’t be by much, just enough to hit Akane.
(Picturing Akane with the bouquet makes her sick, but she can’t keep being selfish. It isn’t fair to chain him to her forever.
Akane deserves to find love and have a beautiful wedding of his own. )
The flowers flew, a few petals falling from the bouquet. Everyone locked in their target, raising their arms, except Akane, who never once took his eyes off her. Aoi ignored how her heart skipped a beat, their moment interrupted by cheers and groans.
Nene got the bouquet, her stretched hands holding on tight to it.
Aoi felt her dread go away in the face of her friend’s disbelief, her ruby eyes wide as she brought the bouquet close to her chest and squealing. Aoi joined in the cheers. May Nene find the perfect partner for the dream wedding she craves.
(Aoi knows that will be a wedding she would actually enjoy attending to)
.
Aoi Minamoto.
The name looks alien on her identity card, it sounds alien in her own tongue, every “Minamoto-san.” sent her way made her skin crawl.
She hates how people are even more vocal about their approval of their relationship now, saying she is beautiful, and so is her husband. That they make a gorgeous pair, that their future kids (just the concept made her shiver) would be adorable!
Even Nene occasionally giggles and calls her Miss Minamoto instead of Aoi.
She hasn't talked to Akane yet. Being called Minamoto by him too would make her snap.
She misses being Akane-san.
.
Soon after the wedding they bought a house, urged to get out of the nest. Mom gave her some money for the moving, but it was mostly Teru’s parents that backed them up.
A small house would be ideal, her own house always felt too big since dad left, but Teru is a rich kid, so they settled for a house too big for two people.
Aoi opened the door of her- Their new bedroom, the beautiful garden flourishing outside her window left her hollow: She didn't watch them grow.
Akane not being her neighbour feels wrong.
.
Her friends came to help when they heard about the new house, Nene brought confetti, Kou made snacks and brought his friend Mitsuba to help. Akane brought drinks.
(When Akane greeted her with 'Ao-chan', not 'Minamoto-san'. She could not describe her relief)
This was a celebration for the new house mixed with real effort to help her move everything.
Nene helped Aoi unpack her clothes, while Teru moved the heavy mobilia with the boys.
It was a lively event. Aoi felt second hand awkwardness at Nene’s attempt to flirt with Kou, who has grown into a tall boy with a pretty face over the years, just Nene’s type.
“She’s been more hopeful since she got the bouquet.” Akane sighed “She never learns.”
“Don’t be mean.” Aoi chided, inwardly exasperated, “She is much better than she used to be in high school.”
“That’s not a high bar to beat.” Akane pointed out.
Aoi glared at his tone, hating when people looked down on Nene, calling her a ‘mega simp’ or a ‘sugar mama’ for trying to find love. Her lack of self esteem and desperation pained Aoi, certain that Nene deserves better than this treatment. Not that Nene ever allows Aoi to beat up her heartbreakers, for part of her friends still love the fake smiles these stupid boys give her. She is a kind girl with an insecure heart.
“But she is better.” Akane raised his hands in mock surrender at Aoi’s glare, pointing at the way Nene stopped crossing her arms in a subtle attempt to make her boobs look bigger and started to slowly blink at whatever Kou was saying, more absorbed in the conversation than his looks, her awe turning into a more friendly interest the more Kou talked.
Mitsuba whined obnoxiously about heavy boxes, so Kou rolled his eyes and waved a flustered bye to Nene, surprised when she trailed after him, offering to help too.
“What are we talking about?” Teru popped over Akane's shoulder, looking at Kou. “Oh, Kou made a new friend? That’s nice.”
“Indeed.” Aoi smiled.
Akane got awkward in Teru's presence, giving them some space. He ran after Nene, who spared him a sympathetic look, asking his help to carry a few boxes.
This house isn’t as big or intimidating with everyone hanging out, every pair of eyes only expecting hand holding from the ‘private and tradicional’ couple.
Nene had to go home once the moon was up, her curfew longer than it used to be in high school, but still around. Kou insisted on accompanying her and Nene smiled awkwardly at the way Mitsuba whined that Kou was evil for abandoning ‘his very best friend’ in a house of near strangers to chase skirt, which earned mitsuba an ear pull and an annoyed “Of course you’re coming too!”
Nene waved goodbye and wished Aoi a wonderful married life as she walked out with Mitsuba and Kou.
Akane stayed until much later, helping with cleaning up.
Aoi rested on the couch after dusting the drawers, watching Akane clean the living room floors, making sure everything was spotless. Barely speaking a word to her.
She looked back at the drawers of her brand new home, hoping she won’t regret this.
.
The house is not a home when Akane leaves, but it's better. Cleaner. Nicer.
Aoi frowned at her brand new bed, missing home.
Teru sighed, likely feeling the same. He held her hand anyways, gently guiding her to take a step forward.
They made their bed. Time to lay on it.
.
They laid on the opposite edges of the bed, unable to sleep.
“The wedding wasn’t that bad.” Teru said.
“It wasn’t.” Aoi admitted, having always treated it as her excution day, but in practice, it was only slightly worse then their first fake dates.
“...” Teru turned towards her, his eyes glowing under the moonlight “I love you.”
Aoi froze.
“I have more fun with you than anyone else.” Teru admitted, “A part of me thought if we kissed I would fall in love with you.”
Aoi softened, too familiar with an aching heart to know kissing Teru would have never changed their friendship, but she gets it, it's hard not to “It would have been easier.” She shifted closer to her husbend “But we are still in this together.”
Teru gave her a weak smile.
"I love you." Aoi said it back, making his eyes grow softer.
"Good night Aoi-chan."
"Good night Teru-kun."
.
Being together had its downsides.
Teru stumble into their bedroom in the middle of the night, tired from a night of patrol, far more often than Aoi would have liked. She woke up many times to the crack of the door or the feeling of Teru's hand falling over her ribs somewhere in the middle of her slumber, still not used to sharing a bed.
(To sharing a room, no longer having a space that’s fully her own.)
She’ll try to get used to it, but if after another week this arrangement still doesn’t work they are sleeping in different rooms. This house sure is big enough for two bedrooms.
(Maybe that’s why Teru convinced her to get such a big house in the first place. He can be pretty smart.)
.
“This sucks.” Teru glared at the laundress sink, scrubbing the coffee stains off his pajamas. “It would be easier to buy a new shirt.”
“You can’t keep buying new clothes every time one gets stained.” Aoi huffed, slamming the dirty clothes basket on top of the washing machine. “If you can defeat a demon you can take care of your laundry,”
“I already scrubbed four shirts! I am tired from patrol.” Teru whined “Have mercy on me, Aoi-chan.”
“I did the laudry last week, after spending the whole day doing job interviews, it's your turn.” Aoi put her hands on her hips, unimpressed “Now chop chop. If this isn’t done in the next hour you’re not getting dinner.”
Teru groaned, slamming the pajama shirt on the sink and mumbling something suspiciously like “I’ll just eat out.”
“Teru!”
“Yes darling, can’t disappoint the love of my life!” He smiled in a sugary sweet manner, so he really is in a bad mood.
A shame. She won’t share a house with a slob.
.
Aoi called Nene a lot. She even talked with Kou sometimes, but she always hesitated to call Akane.
Wouldn't that be cruel to him?
(To her?)
.
“I may like someone?”
That was a very tackless thing to say to your wife with a family history of cheating men, but normal for Teru, so Aoi didn’t even blink.
“May?” She tilted her head, having never seen Teru show romantic interest in people before.
Teru always had a detached curiosity in his eyes when he looked at couples who unironically hooked their arms together and girls who squealed when given a bouquet of flowers, his questions about her interest in Akane strange, as if he couldn’t quite grasp romance. Aoi was half convinced he simply didn’t feel romance.
“I really enjoy their company. I feel different about them then I do with you.” Teru said, his tone hard to decipher “but I can’t see myself become as dumb as you get when Akane-san smiles at you.”
Aoi glared, hoping her cheeks were not red. “Are they someone your family would approve of?”
“Hum~” He hummed, “A little late for that isn’t it, dear?”
Indeed.
Resisting the urge to sigh, Aoi leaned on Teru's arm and batted her eyelashes “Who is it?”
She doesn’t know many people Teru is close to. She misses talking about crushes with Nene and secretly commiserating over their bad luck with love, something that has been happening way less since they graduated.
It will be nice if she and Teru can share this kind of woes too.
Teru put a finger on his lips “Secret~”
What…?
That's not fair!
Aoi put on her most adorable of smiles, “Oh darling, you’ll keep your dear wife in the dark?”
“Yup!” He kissed the top of her head, his loud ‘muah’ as dramatic as all of his acting “See you later, honeeey!” He waved “I’ll buy us something nice for dinner~”
Ugh.
She isn’t as surprised as she probably should.
Teru always keeps secrets from her. Till this day, she still doesn’t know what the Minamotos gain from their arrangement.
(But she had hoped they could trust each other for everyday chats.)
(She had hoped after the rings were exchanged that he would open up more. Talk to her more...)
.
Aoi got another job offer as a model, she turned it down, sticking to her provisory but lovely work as a hairdresser as she tried to find something that she is passionate about.
She gets to decide her carrier, she won't throw that choice away.
.
She walked with Teru to the gardening isle, needing to pick up her gardening hobbie again. Her small heels clicked on the concrete floor, so lost wondering if she should take sunflower seeds or gardenia seeds, that it toook her a moment to notice Teru had filled her cart with seven different vegetable seeds.
“We are here for flowers.” She took out two bags of carrot seeds from their cart with a neutral smile, “Not a vegetable garden.”
“The vegetables can keep your flowers company!” He doubled the amount of carrot seeds, smiling cutely. She hates that he got used to her glare over time, it used to be so effective “Don’t you want to eat a carrot while you water your flowers?”
Aoi mirrored his smile “No <3”
“Ao-chan? Teru-san?”
Aoi nearly froze, recognizing this voice anywhere “Akane-kun…?” She turned around, and there he was. Ha. “It’s been a while! It’s good to see you.”
“Indeed.” He smiled, and Aoi tried not to focus on how his face was slightly sharper than it used to be, eyes narrower, hair a bit longer, the back nearly reaching his shoulders. He looks younger than 21, more tired and handsome than she remembers. “Are you buying for… A fruit salad?”
“For Aoi’s vegetable and flower garden.”
“Our vegetable and flower garden~” Aoi's eye nearly twitched, hooking their arms together and holding on tight, her message hard to miss ‘You either build this garden with me or I am not putting a single vegetable in it.’
Teru hummed, pensive.
“That’s… Nice.” Akane's voice was strained, holding on tight to his cart but catching himself, slowly relaxing his grip, sounding more genuine when he added “Is good to see worrying about flowers again." that hurt "I’m glad your married life is going well, I didn’t know Teru-san liked gardening.”
Aoi awkwardly unhooked their arms.
She has been falling into the lovey dovey act more often after the wedding, she had trouble turning it off outside their house.
“It’s nice to work with my lovely wife, but I may tragically not have time to keep gardening.” Teru sighed dramatically, lying without shame as he leaned on her instead of taking his vegetable seeds off the cart. “Things have been a mess since we moved out.”
Aoi nodded when he looked at her, “It’s been a month but it still feels strange” She cupped her own cheek and sighed, discreetly taking a cabbage seeds off the cart, “Quite empty as well, there is always something to clean or redecorate or fix up…”
“Way too much to do,” Teru’s serious look broke into a smile “Can you pass by and water our garden for us Akane-san?”
Aoi's smile twitched, sure he does not want to plant vegetables this bad. He just wants to get on her nerves.
“It’s your garden, why would I need to water it?” Akane gave him a judgmental look “I have things to do.”
“Please? We would appreciate it.” Teru batted his eyelashes, gaining an annoyed look, but she could tell from the way Akane sighed and scratched the back of his head that he would agree to help.
Like always. Helpful Akane.
(...It’s not fair.
She always misses him so much harder when they talk.)
Akane looked at her.
“No need.” Aoi dismissed “Don’t worry about us, Akane-kun, he is just being a big baby again <3” She pinched Teru's cheek, making him frown.
Good.
She smiled coldly at him.
Teru was staring at Akane with a spark in his eyes that means he is up to no good so Aoi stepped on his shoe “Isn’t that right, honey?”
“Right.” Teru agreed.
Silence.
“Well,” Akane coughed. “It was good seeing you two. I need to finish it up.”
“Are you working Akane-san?” Teru asked
Akane paused. “I’m working part time as a librarian. You two?”
“I’ll open a fashion shop.” Aoi said, always coming back to either that or opening a grand garden “Still in the making.”
“Exorcism as always.” Teru hummed, “Do you like your job?”
Aoi almost frowned, not sure where he was going with this. Akane gave him a weird look. “Sure?”
“Do you want to work for us?”
“Hum?”
Aoi tensed up, trying not to mimic Akane’s wide eyes “Teru-kun?”
“We need a maid,” Teru said, which isn’t true they don’t need it, he just needs to get off his butt and learn to do the laundry like she taught him too “And we trust you, Akane-san.”
Akane sweated.
“We are loaded,” Teru bragged “We can pay you well~”
“That’s…” He glanced at Aoi, and there was something in his eyes that made her heart skip a beat.
He was tempted.
Mortifyingly enough, Aoi was too, sure he would start work early, be there as they woke up. He’ll clean the floors as she cooks, and help her get Teru’s things. Maybe she’ll cook for him, just to be polite.
(Akane would pause at every picture frame she and Teru have. He may not help Teru at all because he’ll assume Aoi wants to be the one to help her husband and… that’s…)
Aoi played with her wedding ring, grounding herself. She must be hanging out with Nene too much, she needs to get a grip.
Akane followed her move, lingering on her ring and breaking the mood with an awkward laugh “That’s kind,” he side eyed Teru “...for your standards.” Teru hummed, not offended “but I’ll have to decline. It’s better not to mix friendships with work.”
‘You mix everything with work Akane-kun’ Aoi thought ‘ever since we first met you were always doing someone else’s work.’
“Indeed!” Aoi hummed, wanting to stay just a little longer, “It was good to see you, Akane-kun. We should catch up this weekend, perhaps at the bakery we used to go to when we were in high school?”
“That would be nice,” Teru agreed, “I’ll check with the shrine if I can make time for it.”
“When is it best for you?”
“...Somewhere in the morning, would that work for you?”
Akane stared for a moment and smiled at them. His joy looked genuine, and it made her feel warm, really hoping he wasn't acting when he said “That would be lovely.”
(Despite everything, she still wants Akane to love like her.)
Once Akane was out of sight and she was sure they were alone her smile dropped “What was that?” She hissed “You can’t make these kinds of decisions without my say in it! It’s our house.”
“Sorry, Aoi-chan.” He mumbled, visibly salty she didn’t go along with his stupid plan “I thought you would like to stare at him from your window again.”
“Oh you~” Aoi gave him a hollow smile, which did not reach her cold stare “I’m not 13 anymore, silly.” Aoi stared at the isle Akane had disappeared into, still smiling, but droping the sickingly sweet tone “Do you think I don’t know how to be subtle?”
Teru's eyes crinkled at her implied admission.
“…” Aoi dropped her mask, clinging to her husband to ground herself. “Regardless, it’s better this way.”
It doesn’t matter that Akane has aged like fine wine. She kept her distance for a decade, she can keep pushing her feelings aside for another decade, and be a good married woman.
She treasures Teru after all, her life is good. She has reliable friends, a wonderful house, and a good husband she deeply loves despite it not being how the world expects her to love him. Her mom is happy, Teru's family is happy, and she is happy.
(There is an ever-present ache in her heart when she spends too much time near Akane, a greed that makes her want to have the best of both worlds.
Ha…
She really is her father’s daughter. No wonder she is such a good actress.)
“But I wasn’t joking,” Teru got serious “We need a maid. We could keep trying to hire by checking the services available, but you don’t trust any of them-”
“Neither do you.” Aoi cut him off.
How could she trust a stranger to look at every nook and crany of her house? How could she willingly let them intrude into their life? Why would they pay someone to invade their personal space, forcing Teru and Aoi to act like a couple even in the comfort of their own house, don’t they deserve a sanctuary where they can take off the masks?
“Exactly.” Teru said, “But we trust him, he is hardworking and honest. I can’t imagine him breaching our privacy or stealing anything.” Teru leaned on her “If he figures us out, he’ll keep his mouth shut too.”
Aoi said nothing, but the idea of telling Akane they were never a couple was so tempting...
Teru wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “You miss him.”
She does.
But she doesn’t think she’ll be able to accept her role as Ms. Minamoto if Akane stays in their house and water her plants, telling them good morning with a smile.
(He still wakes up at dawn. Aoi knows that much.)
“You should learn to clean your own messes.” She said quietly, taking away the vegetables from their basket as she thought of the days Teru was too tired from work to even say a propper goodnight, and trying to think of her fake husband as well “...But I’ll think about it.”