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It wasn’t rare to be tackling five or six mementos requests at a time. It was a known fact Ren loved storing requests so that the thieves could tackle them all in one go. Efficiency , he called it. From their last spaceport infiltration, Futaba knew he’d had at least three in his backlog, and was just waiting for the perfect fourth before yanking them all to Mementos for an afternoon.
So maybe her ask was a bit selfish. Okay , very selfish. For all intents and purposes, she should be fine just handing over the target and letting the thieves at him.
...She wasn’t . She wasn't fine with it at all.
Her uncle had barged into LeBlanc earlier in the day, demanding money from her guardian. Money - for not taking her back with him. It was an absurd concept. Why was he even here? He shouldn’t be able to interfere with her, she was just getting used to the outside world again! It was a zero day vulnerability, she hadn't had time to prepare, she'd just... froze.
He'd tried to grab her. And she hadn't moved.
Ren had however.
The boy had protected her. Thrown himself in front of her like some anime hero. And what had he got from it?
‘Damn brat, I’ll sue!’ Ren’s face had gone pale at the declaration, body taking on a tremble. He’d backed away slowly before edging right into Futaba, accidentally stepping on her foot. She’d given a small ‘eep’ but he’d barely noticed.
Instead, his eyes were locked to her uncle. Trembling and scared. She’d never seen her leader so vulnerable.
... It was because of her that her uncle was anywhere near LeBlanc. If she wasn’t here... She turned the rest of the confrontation out, trying her best to ignore the frankly terrified look on Ren's face.
Her uncle had left soon after, but not before issuing another threat to Sojiro. Of course.
It was then she'd got the paranoid thought. She couldn't tell the thieves about any of this. Not the way Ren nearly fell when retreating. Not the sheer disgust Sojiro had at seeing the man - a man she'd inadvertently brought here. The man who made a grab for her, who tried to take her back-
She could imagine everybody's reaction, how Ryuji would whoop and cheer for another target before demanding loudly that they'd take him down.
It was probable they wouldn’t even ask about her time spent with her uncle.
But there was a chance they would. She could imagine it now, Yusuke's head tilting as he asked, in that not-subtle way of his, ‘how... similar, was it, to my own time with Madarame?’
How much did she get abused, he'd mean .
Ann was so pretty, how would the other react to the knowledge Futaba used to be deprived of showers for weeks at a time? Haru wouldn’t know how to react to the idea of starvation, she’d be forced to think back on the workers her father kept.
They wouldn't understand. Barely anyone would. She didn't want to be left alone again, whether it was in disgust or pity.
That's stupid . They wouldn't leave you, Necronomicon whispered from somewhere inside her. She didn't care.
It was that stubborn irrational fear that led her and Joker to travel through Mementos alone, Souji Isshiki as their target. Futaba regretted knowing his name. The walls hummed as she floated along, Joker leading the hunt.
Her friend's face was still white as ash from being yelled at. If Futaba focused from inside Necronomicon, she swore Ren was still shaking.
So, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to head to Mementos right after being threatened. Maybe they should have brought reinforcements, maybe they should have waited a day to calm down. But Futaba was scared.
She wasn’t ready to share this piece of her life with the thieves, no matter how much they’d helped her. Just... not yet . Maybe one day.
Their destination wasn't far into Mementos. Only a few layers deeper than the entrance, hidden behind a dead end. Which was fortunate. She'd never been more grateful for Morgana's car - she couldn't imagine travelling on foot every Mementos run.
Although she wasn't even travelling on foot. She was propped up in Necronomicon, enjoying the walk-free luxury of the spaceship’s cockpit. ( Maybe she should have offered Joker a ride? But then again, she wasn't sure her persona was made for two. She barely fit herself! )
“The entrance is ahead,” Joker had glanced back to her and- Right . They were here for a mission, she couldn't get distracted.
She nodded back.
“I'm ready.” She answered before glancing back at Joker. He hadn't moved. “Are you... all good to go?”
“Huh?” A little exhale of breath left her leader's lips. That wasn't good. He was the infallible Joker. Futaba hadn't realised all this was getting to him as much as it was getting to her.
It made sense, he had been threatened after all. It was just rare , seeing the human side of their leader.
He wasn't okay, that much was clear. Maybe he would have been better with his teammates beside him. Futaba felt herself narrow her eyes. Even with this realisation, she was hesitant to involve the other thieves in their plan. T hey were here now anyways. They could face the threat themselves, and then tell the thieves all about it when she eventually felt bad for keeping secrets from them.
“Joker?” She flew the ship a little closer to the thief, finally stunting him out of whatever haze had consumed him. He shook his head sharply.
“Yeah, I'm fine.” And then, instead of conversing with her, (because he obviously wasn't fine,) he just walked ahead. Rude! “Let's go.”
She couldn't do anything but steer after him, barely catching up by the time they arrived at the portal. It was intimidating, standing high above the columns of blood and bone. Did every portal in Mementos feel like walking into certain death? Futaba couldn't remember if that was normal or not.
“Are you okay to handle yourself inside?” Joker yet again turned to her. There wasn't a single emotion she could read in those cold eyes of his. But his voice was warm, so she assumed it wasn't directed at her.
“Y-yup! Okay as I'll ever be!” She hoped Joker didn't hear the tremble in her voice. She gulped. Why was he asking her ? It seemed he was more freaked out, now that they were close to facing her uncle. “A-are you?” She hoped it came off as scalding, although Joker's unreadable expression didn't change.
He looked away. “Don't worry about me.”
What a stupid statement! Futaba felt herself light up. Necronomicon shook a little as she raised her voice. “What! Of course I'm going to worry, especially if you say something like that!” At least he hadn't done something stupid this time like dash into the portal. Although by his gaze he was definitely considering it. “Okay-”
It was a decision she hadn't made often, usually her time in Mementos was spent in the Mona bus or Necronomicon. Joker was obviously worried because his team wasn't here. That was okay, Futaba could work with that. She didn't have to stay inside her Persona all the time. Especially for a mission such as this. Necronomicon’s signature tentacles wrapped around her, before lowering her down to Joker's ( now very apparent ) confusion.
“What are you doing?”
Futaba let a smile creep over her face. Outside of Necronomicon's glass casing, Mementos’ halls seemed to pulse with energy. She wouldn't let that stop her . “You miss the thieves. You know, your other RPG members!” She raised her hand to her forehead in a mock salute. “Well, Futaba has joined your party!”
What were once tense shoulders transitioned into light laughs as Joker let out a chuckle. “Are you sure you’ll be safe like that?” His tone was light, but Futaba could detect the hint of concern in it. She nodded. Joker considered this for a moment before ruffling through his pockets. (‘Inventory’ - Futaba liked to call it.)
“You wouldn’t be much of a party member without a melee attack.” He semeed to finally find what he was looking for, holding it out to Futaba. It was a small dagger, one Futaba recognised - though she couldn't tell where from. It seemed slightly used. She glanced up, frowning.
“What about you?” She asked. Luckily Joker seemed to be prepared for this, as he whipped out another knife - how many knives could he fit in that long ass cloak of his?! “Always helps to be prepared,” was all that was said in way of explanation.
Futaba once again glanced down at the dagger. It was small and easy to move around. It even had a cute magic buff.
“Although I do expect you to stay out of combat, if the shadow comes anywhere near you,” Uh oh. Joker was looking serious about this. Futaba nodded, tucking the danger into her belt. “I should probably get you a gun too, and maybe some accessories-”
Uh oh! She’d activated Joker’s special ability, mother hen mode. Futaba winced as the other tore through his pockets with incredible pace.
“Uh you really don’t need to-” But it seemed Joker was barely listening to her, instead muttering something to himself about elemental affinities. She sighed and resigned herself to fate. At least it gave her a few moments to herself before facing Souji. She could be thankful for that - at least.
--
It was only after handing over a frankly terrifying number of gems and brooches, (as well as one made of her own Will Seeds, which was kind of weird,) the two thieves finally entered the portal, the soundscape around them melting into total silence.
Her uncle stood at the end of the tunnel, an imposing figure no matter how far away he was. Futaba felt herself tense. But they needed to proceed. And they did.
The confrontation went exactly as she expected. Exactly how every confrontation in Mementos went. Her uncle only cared about money, and it was obvious in every line he said. He didn’t say anything about Futaba - and for that she couldn’t tell if she was grateful or disappointed.
It didn’t matter. He didn’t get to be anything anymore. The ground had erupted with flares and her uncle had disappeared, replaced by a misshapen Girimekhala. As always.
Futaba gripped the knife closer to her chest. She didn’t expect to do any damage with it, she just needed to be out on the field. This was a mission she couldn’t fulfil inside while inside of Necronomicon. Joker had given her as many Life Stones as she could hold, instructing her to heal him when he was low. (Which Futaba had rolled her eyes at. She knew how healers worked.) Those same stones were held in her offhand, waiting to be used. There were a tense few moments where Joker and the Girimekhala simply looked at each other.
Futaba open her mouth, unsure how to proceed-
“Byakko!” Before being brutally interrupted by Joker’s call. Dark magic almost instantly enveloped the elephant, and Futaba almost winced at how easy it was. She was surprised her uncle was still standing, but as she activated Navigator vision-
That only did 500 damage! She was regretting not bringing the rest of the thieves now. She was so out of it she’d almost missed Joker’s call for healing.
Almost . She chuckled him a Life Stone just as Rising Slash hit. And Joker was back to dark magic, trading Persona’s in a blink of an eye, too fast for Futaba to keep up. Was this how it always felt on the field? It was... overwhelming, magic flying everywhere, missed hits echoing over the walls of the tunnel. Futaba felt herself cover her ears before shaking herself out of it.
Okay. She couldn’t cut herself off from this. This was overwhelming, but Joker would literally die if she didn’t pay attention. Which meant she had to bear sensory hell, at least for as long as she could. Joker had already shouted for more healing, Futaba scrambling with the stones.
“Support's on the way!” She chuckled two over, just in case. It looked like he needed it. Her uncle, on the other hand, had shifted. She’d played enough video games (and helped in enough Mementos missions,) to tell what was happening. “It’s charging up!” She wished she was back in Necronomicon, now would be the perfect time to run some commands and get Joker’s SP back up. But she knew she couldn’t back down. Not now. She needed to see her uncle fall, she couldn’t watch from the sidelines!
Joker’s shoulders shifted, a subtle guard. Futaba decided to guard too, just in case. No attacks had hit her yet, but there was always the chance. It was good because the next spell cast from the elephant was one she recognised.
“Look out!” Futaba just managed to cry before Foul Breath hit the battlefield. Not even guarding had helped. That meant it had ailment inducing spells, right? Futaba glanced at Joker as soon as ailment susceptibility had gone up. He didn’t seem to notice, instead leaping forward to cast an ice curse. Shit! Did she have anything to cure ailments? Would the Life Stones do that? She was used to the team hitting each other out of ailments. Would she have to attack Joker? What if he was out of commission, would the elephant focus on her? She’d been out of the battle so far but that could change any second-
“Oracle-!” She barely heard Joker’s cry. When it finally registered she opened her eyes from where she was cowering. The first thing she saw was Joker, shuffling through his pockets for something while dodging attacks.
She couldn’t stay on the battlefield ! This was overwhelming - this sucked! “Necro-” She could barely get a breath out before noticing a strike heading for her face. Futaba flung her hands up, a small ‘eep-!’ barely leaving her mouth before the cloud covered her entirely. And her thoughts went with it, her vision darkening before it eventually melted into something else entirely.
-
Suddenly Futaba was twelve again, and Souji was hosting a blackjack table. “It’ll only be an hour or so.” He said. The smile while shutting the door said otherwise.
“No!” Futaba heard herself scream. Bedbug bites littered her legs and arms, hair curling into itself, resembling bark. Children weren’t meant to be seen and so during blackjack the attic became her tomb. She knew if her uncle locked that door, she’d wait here for days - on the brink of starvation, with only the voice of her mother for company.
Souji’s smile had turned to a sneer while glossing over her form. “Just stay quiet! You’re lucky you get to live here for free. You should be out there working, making more money.”
She'd tried, she tried everything to get a job, to help her uncle out. It wasn't good enough. Not enough people were hiring twelve year olds and the ones who were... She didn't want to work there.
“Please-” She could only let out hoarsely. She hadn’t eaten in days, thirst was ruining her body. Her hands had taken up a habit of trembling; which was exactly what they did as she reached for her uncle.
If she was locked up here for another day... she wouldn’t survive. This was a fact known in her blood.
Maybe it was a fate she deserved.
Souji’s smile had yet again appeared. Her state must have been pathetic, as he let out a little laugh at the girl in front of him. He didn’t even dignify her with a response, instead going to close the door, backlit by the stairway light, leaving her in darkness.
NO!
She couldn’t be left alone again! She couldn’t she couldn’t she-
--
When Futaba eventually regained consciousness, she realised three things immediately.
First. That was a lot of blood. She was covered in it, the floor below her was painted red with it.
Second, her vision was blurry, everything hurt and her head was full of fog. She’d had this combination of feelings before, it usually meant it was time for her to collapse.
The third realisation hit when she glanced around. Mementos was still curling around them, its slow pulsing beat only adding to her headache. Ren was beside her. It seemed he’d been beside her for a while. His eyes were wide, she’d never seen the other so expressive.
He was holding something, and as her eyes trailed his hands, she realised he was holding her hands. Which were holding the knife he’d given her, as if stopping it from moving.
The final realisation took a few seconds to sink in. It shouldn’t have taken so long.
She wasn’t sitting on Memento’s blood red floor. No, she was kneeled over a blood red body. Barely recognisable. What? When did she get here? Futaba instantly recoiled, knife slipping from where it had been buried in the body. Last she remembered she’d launched for her uncle-
Ren had wrapped his hands around hers, eyes still wide, face still ashen pale. “Futaba-” But she couldn’t hear him. She’d been hit with an ailment right? Last thing she remembered was a blood red cloud of anger surrounding her mind-
“It was the rage.” Ren was still speaking. “Not you.”
Her hands were trembling. Just like they had in that vision. She couldn’t- she didn’t- “Futaba, it's okay. Just breathe with me.” She barely felt Ren try to get her to stand. Her legs wouldn’t move, but she had to. She couldn’t remain hunched over her uncle’s dead body-
“I need-” She could hear her own words, stuttering and broken. She barely had time to glance at Ren before she felt her whole body collapse, before the darkness consumed her. No! She couldn’t collapse onto the corpse, she had to get up! Her body wouldn’t listen to her.
Futaba promptly lost consciousness.
--
When she came to, it was to the familiar darkness of her ceiling. It took her a few blinks, but eventually she could make out of the other elements of her room. The glow-in-the-dark stars littering her curtains and the computer's empty screen were the only light sources illuminating her room. They shone across two figures, who hadn’t noticed she was up yet.
“Sojiro..?” One of them had to be her dad, she figured. Their hands were on their hips, slightly hunched over. It was the classic Boss pose.
As soon as Sojiro noticed she was awake, the man was beside her, leaning over. Her vision cleared enough to reveal faces. Boss looked slightly concerned - no more than usual however. The other figure however...
Ren’s face was still so expressive, staring down at the ground like he’d wish it swallowed him. Like he'dupset her somehow. That was impossible, how could he upset her? There was slight movement behind him.
Futaba narrowed her eyes at it.
“Futaba!” A boyish voice rang out as soon as she looked into the shadows for more than two seconds. From those same shadows, a black cat emerged, bouncing up onto her bed. “We were worried about you, Ren said you passed out and the chief was acting strange.” Morgana’s voice was loud, getting louder the closer the cat got to her. Eventually he’d settled next to her. “Is everything okay? You aren’t hurt are you?”
He looked her up and down at this, as if just noticing her for the first time. Futaba couldn’t help but let out a giggle. It was nice of her friend to care so much. Although she couldn’t exactly answer his barrage of questions. The memories were slowly coming back, as they always did after a long rest.
“Jeez, that cat sure meows a lot.” Sojiro noted, ignoring the hiss Morgana let out at being called a cat. “Are you feeling okay Futaba? The story I heard was you completely passed out at a sudden crowd. You haven't done that in a while.”
It took Futaba a second to process that this was a cover story. Her and Ren hadn't been near any crowds. She frowned. Last thing she remembered-
Blood, there was so much blood, on her hands on her suit-
“Mhm-!” Futaba gave a small whimper, sitting herself up and pulling her knees in. Right . Last thing she remembered was seeing a dead body.
“Futaba?” Morgana's meow brought her out of her thoughts. She looked over to the cat, who now wore a concerned expression. “What happened?”
It was all her fault, she done it she killed another person close to her. She didn't mean to!
Futaba hadn't noticed her head was buried in her chest until Sojiro spoke.
“I’ll uh, put some coffees on.” He sighed. Futaba could barely see through her arms as the older man left. She wanted to scream at him to not abandon her. She wanted him to never come back.
“What happened?” Futaba didn’t mean what happened in Mementos. She’d already recalled that. Bodies didn’t... stay on the ground like that. They repented, confessed the true reason for their distortion and disappeared to their true selves to become a better person. “Did I mess up?”
Ren still wouldn’t look at her. Morgana had taken the role of talking. “Futaba you couldn’t mess up!” He looked at her with such reverence in his eyes that Futaba was almost inclined to agree with him. “You know you’re the best navigator and teammate we could ask for! Whatever you did, it was an accident.”
Whatever you did. So then Morgana didn’t know. He did know it was something to do with Mementos, but no more than that. She looked away, back over at Ren again. “You didn’t tell him,” her voice was flat.
“I... didn’t think you’d appreciate it. I'm sorry.” Ren’s voice was level, nothing like the shakiness she’d heard in Mementos. She could still recall his wide open eyes staring on in horror in those same tunnels, staring down at where Futaba had-
“I killed him.” It was in the same flat tone she’d used as before. Due to this, it took a few seconds for Morgana to react, tumbling backwards onto the bed as if jumpscared. More interesting was Ren’s reaction. The other simply turned away, hiding his face even further. He didn’t speak, not even as Morgana meowed at her demanding clarification. “Did I?” Her tone had transitioned to something more warmbled, distorted as if underwater. She felt underwater, everything moving way too fast but also too suffocatingly slow. She wanted to shake Ren, demand him for answers, demand that everyone was okay and that she hadn’t hurt anyone. “Did I kill him?”
Ren looked positively helpless when he eventually met her eyes. Eyes hit behind barely groomed hair, a visible lurch at seeing her. Still, he tried to smile. Even if it was helplessly fake. “I’m not sure.”
It was a lie. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but it was a fact known as deeply as breathing. Ren was lying to her. For her? She felt her brows furrow. Morgana had been forgotten, tuned out by her side, and one part of her regretted not answering the cat’s questions, but also she couldn’t break away from Ren’s gaze. Not when he was hiding the truth from her. “That’s not true.”
To his credit, he winced at this. And then decided to play with his bangs, once again avoiding eye contact. Morgabna had started to get louder in his questioning, so to quell her teammate, she brought her hands underneath him, lifting the cat into her lap and promising to explain later.
“...He suffered a mental shutdown. He might recover, there's a chance.”
Futaba felt her blood freeze. She’d caused that. She’d given someone a mental shutdown.
Ren was still talking. Repeating himself. “He might recover. It wasn't your fault.”
She doubted it.
That was what? Two family members she’d managed to kill ? Futaba held Morgana closer to her chest, feeling the cat’s heart as if it was hers. She wanted to curl under the sheets and never emerge. She needed some fresh air. She needed to be locked away.
Morgana was still peering up at her, bright blue eyes filled with concern. He was... too nice for her. Neither of them should be hanging around her. She was a murderer. “Am I...” Her next question is unsure, words leaving in a hurry. “Am I going to be arrested?”
She’d deserve it at this stage. She’d killed someone. Killed two people.
(Of course, somewhere deep in her mind, somewhere Necronomicon rested, demanded that she didn’t kill anyone. Not her mother, not her uncle. She shook it away. It didn’t know what it was talking about.)
“No-!” It was a harsh reaction, a fair reaction , at the reminder of arrest. Futaba felt a little bad for making Ren remember his arrest, squeezing Morgana a little more. As she looked up, she noticed Ren had moved closer, hand hovering awkwardly by her bedside in an attempt at comfort. “Of course not, it was an accident. Everything’s going to be okay. It was the ailment, I should have made sure you were safer.”
At this, Morgana was squeezed even harder. The cat didn’t complain, though Futaba was sure it was uncomfortable for him. She just... couldn’t let him go. Not yet.
Everything was too much. The once familiar walls were looking a bit too much like a tomb again, like a prison. “I can’t... be alone again.” The words were mainly for herself, but she was sure the other two caught them. And yet nothing was said in response. After a few seconds, Ren seemed to have decided how to comfort her, placing a hand on her shoulder gently.
“It wasn’t your fault. Please.” And he was looking at her with so much concern, misplaced concern because she was a murderer, she’d killed someone, she was going to die here the Thieves were going to leave her-
“I killed him,” she repeated. Ren’s hand tightened on her shoulder and suddenly it was all too much, she needed the world to stop consuming her, she needed everything to be quiet, she needed to be alone-!
“I-” Why couldn’t she get words out? Everything was ringing, it was exactly like Mementos had been. “I need you to leave,” she couldn’t look at him. Ren had been so helpful and yet. “I need to be alone.”
She just needed space . She needed some time to herself, she couldn’t process any of this with her friend’s around, and she felt so useless for that. The hand stroking through Morgana’s fur had stopped, (an action she didn’t even notice she was doing,) as she blinked down at the cat wearily.
“Are you sure?” Morgana seemed to understand that meant him as well, however the cat still held himself close, as if she might fall apart without him. She probably would, she felt... fragile at the moment, like the slightest wind could break her. She didn’t want her friends to see her like that.
Her voice was on the edge of breaking. “Please.”
The two didn’t need to be told twice, and soon after Futaba was left alone, her tomb’s walls echoing around her.
Safety, but also isolation. She didn’t want to go back to that. But she... she didn’t know what to do. The thieves didn’t like murderers. They were disgusted with the Black Mask and she’d basically just gone and done the same thing. ( It wasn’t the same thing at all! Her inner self insisted. She pushed it away.)
They were the closest thing she’d had to friends since Kana. And she’d gone ahead and ruined it, just like she ruined everything. She barely registered the tears beginning to flow down her cheeks, too caught in the cycle of self hatred. She’d caused a mental shutdown . The same thing that had killed her mother, she’d inflicted that on another living person. The phantom thieves were meant to save people not... this.
A knock on her door jolted her out of her thoughts. It couldn’t have been Ren or Morgana, the two knew how serious she was. “Come in.”
Sojiro entered, a tray of cups in his hand. He glanced around the room after putting the tray on her work desk. “Where’s Ren and Morgana? They didn’t leave you, did they?” Despite the lightness of the statement, Futaba could tell he was angry at the two for leaving Futaba when she was vulnerable. Even if Morgana was a cat, he wasn't immune to his anger.
“I uh, asked them too.” She didn’t particularly want Sojiro here either, however he wasn’t causing her a meltdown like the other two had been. At this, Sojiro’s expression softened. He offered her one of the cups, which she hesitantly took. The warmth helped to ground her even if she wasn’t a fan of coffee. The other two stood abandoned on the tray as Sojiro crept closer. Once Futaba indicated it was okay, he sat on the end of the bed, letting out a long sigh. Futaba got the sense it wasn’t directed at her. Still, Sojiro didn’t know what happened. He deserved to know who he was harboring, the murderer he’d brought into his house.
“I’m... a Phantom Thief.” She hadn’t even told him this. And at his reaction, it was clear this wasn’t what he expected. In absence of Morgana, she’d pulled the blankets acrossher body, making herself small. That confession alone would be enough for Sojiro to kick her out, no murder confession needed. “...It’s okay if you kick me out, I can find somewhere else to stay, I don’t want to cause you any more trouble-” She already caused Sojiro so much grief, she couldn’t let the man down anymore. She stared into her lap, trying to make the tears disappear. Sojiro didn’t need to pity her. She knew what she was getting into.
It was barely audible, but Sojiro had let out another - now longer - sigh. A few seconds of silence passed before he shifted again. Futaba couldn’t look. Couldn’t bear to see that disappointment on his face.
“So, you’re a phantom thief.” She didn’t look at him. Didn’t need to. Just nodded. It was all Futaba felt she could do. “And I assume... whatever happened is related to that? You passed out, Ren told me.”
She nodded yet, slower this time. “Yeah. I-” She felt herself tremble. “We were going to change my uncle’s heart, because he was threatening you and- and- he- I” The world sped up the more she talked, swirling around her into one jumbled mess. She could barely get words out, she could barely breathe.
“Whoa- slow down there,” Sojiro reached out before pausing. When Futaba finally looked up after a few seconds, the man was hesitant, as if not sure what to say. Concern and confusion laid deep in his eyes, directed at her. She held the blanket a little tighter. “What exactly... happened? Something went wrong with your uncle's... change of heart?” Before letting her speak, the older breathed out another sigh. “Kid, you shouldn't be endangering yourself for me. I can handle your uncle. He won't be coming to the cafe again, I assure you.”
Well, Futaba knew that. Although it wasn't because Sojiro would keep him away. It was because- “I messed up,” she glared at the ground, carpeted floor giving no empathy back. She didn't expect it to, to be fair.
...Sojiro needed the full story . Her dad at least deserved that. “We went in alone. Me and... Ren. I didn't, I couldn't...” Guilt echoed across her body. Why couldn't she have just given the request up to Ren normally? How they always did it. There was a reason they always brought the rest of the thieves, there was a reason she never left her ship. Sojiro let her continue, even if she was near tears for most of it.
“...we didn't bring anyone. Didn't tell anyone else about it, I didn't- couldn't tell them about my time there. At his house. I wanted to change my uncle's heart alone, and Ren agreed.” She bit her lip. “We- I messed up. I messed up, and I ended up-” Ren had said he might recover. Futaba doubted it, but it meant she didn't kill him. Not yet . Even if her brain was insisting she was a murderer, just like those men in black suits had told her long ago. “He suffered a mental shutdown.”
It was the first time she'd acknowledged it out loud. She kept her eyes trained on the floor forced open. If she blinked she'd end up spilling tears.
“...Futaba,” She didn't look up, not even as she heard shuffling. “I think... God , I'm not even sure what to say...”
He was disappointed, of course he was disappointed! Futaba had done nothing but cause him problems since the day he adopted her. This was where Sojiro finally said ‘enough’ and kicked her out.
“I can find somewhere else to live. If you want to kick me out, or something.” She couldn't. She was hoping Sojiro would call her bluff.
A sharp inhale echoed from her father's side of the room. “No, of course not- why would I be kicking you out? Futaba...” Sojiro still seemed lost for words, but the only thing Futaba could focus on was the ‘no.’
First Ren, now Sojiro. When would people stop making excuses for her?
“But... I hurt someone. Even if I didn't kill mum, I hurt my uncle. You shouldn't want to live with me.” You should send me to jail , were the next words in her brain. She didn't say them. Even if she deserved it, she didn't want to be alone again.
“Look, Futaba, these things... happen. Someone messes up, something unexpected happens... Sometimes you have to choose between your own life and someone else's. This thieves business you're doing... it's dangerous. Futaba, look, look at me. Please.”
And he sounded so scared, so worried, for her, that she did. Sojiro was staring at her like he was afraid to lose her, that she might slip out of his hands any second.
Again , her thoughts echoed. Because she'd been here once before. She'd locked Sojiro out because of blame and self hatred.
She... didn't want to lock her dad out . Not again. When visions of her mother had terrorised her, she'd been so utterly and painfully alone, desperately hoping for any point of contact. She never wanted to be like that again.
Sojiro had continued talking when she'd met his eyes. “What you did was a mistake. I... “ He covered his face with his hand. “I'm not disappointed, I'm glad you managed to get out there and take charge of your life, it's just... things like this are dangerous kid. You know that.”
She wasn't in this for no reason. She hated the implication of that. “I just wanted to find out what happened to mum.” She turned her head slightly. Her pillows shifted around her, but she didn't hide her face from Sojiro. “I don't want to give up on her.” She admitted, and it felt a bit like breathing. She'd hid the fact she was a phantom thief from Sojiro since she'd started. He deserved to know way sooner. “You know she didn't kill herself, you know those letters were lying. I- I want to find who did that to her. Even if it's dangerous.”
It was silent for a moment. And another.
“I think your mother would be proud of how far you've come.” Sojiro finally spoke. He was looking towards her computer, blue light echoing across his face. “You've become such a great young woman. You and your... thieves, they've been standing up to some powerful people-”
“We know.” Futaba interrupted, because it sounded like Sojiro was going to try to dissuade her again. “Although... I'm not sure I'm a thief anymore. I... killed my uncle remember. They wouldn't want me anymore. I'm a murderer.”
There she was, using that word killed again. He wasn't dead, he'd just... suffered a shutdown. He might recover. Right?
He had to. Futaba couldn't stand knowing she'd caused a person's death. Even if that person had treated her like a slave for most of her life.
“Those kids won't leave you alone for something as stupid as that. At least, Ren won't. Kid doesn't know when to quit.” There was something quick muttered under Sojiro’s breath. Futaba didn't catch it. Probably a slight on Ren, knowing her dad. “Look, call them up, explain what happened, and they'll all... forgive you. At least they better. A life like this, as thieves... It's a wonder you haven't killed more people.”
“Yeah.” Futaba bit her lip and tried to not think about how close the thieves had been to dying each time they entered Mementos. Sojiro said it was them or the enemy, right?
She... couldn't imagine Ren dying. Didn't want to.
“After you check in with your friends... How does a therapist sound?” He sounded utterly wrecked by the emotional vulnerability that had happened. That was... fair. Normal. She appreciated that Sojiro tried, even if he wasn't the best at it. “It was something I should have done when Wakaba died. I didn't want to push you. Or when you first came out of your room, I just.” He trailed off. “I didn't want to see you... vanish again.”
The silence was piercing.
“A therapist sounds okay.” She admitted, under the safety of her blankets. Almost instantly she saw as Sojiro's shoulders collapsed.
He... really cared for her. Didn't he? It was easy to just say that, after all Sojiro had given her a home when nobody else had and had kept her away from - no, she couldn't think about him right now. But to actually see her dad be so concerned about her...
“Thank you,” she whispered out. At first, she wasn't sure if her dad had heard her. But then a smile had appeared across his face.
He shifted further down the bed, apparently done with emotional vulnerability for the day. “How does curry udon sound? I can prepare something like that, unless you'd like regular LeBlanc curry?”
He was smiling at her like she lit up the world, crinkled eyes and all. Futaba shied a little under the gaze. Curry udon? That was what she'd suggested earlier in the day, right? Before... everything had happened.
She couldn't believe he remembered. “Curry udon,” her voice was small. “sounds good.”
“Okay.” His voice was warm, warmer than even his smile had been. He really was an old sap. “And remember to let those kids know what happened. They'll stick by you. At least, they better.”
He was probably right. Her door shut softly as her dad left. Her cup of coffee was still on her bedside table, no doubt gone cold by now. Despite it all, she picked it up again, drinking a little. It wasn't coffee at all, instead hot chocolate.
She should let her friends know, Sojiro was right. That thought that they might leave her was still there, still pressing into her like a needle but a part of her knew she couldn't get through this without support.
Maybe she'd never enter Mementos again. Maybe she was useless, and the thieves would abandon her as soon as they realised.
... She knew that wouldn't happen. They hadn't became friends just because she was a phantom thief, they weren't going to abandon her even if she couldn't handle Mementos ever again.
And they hopefully wouldn't abandon her for the whole killing (or nearly killing) her uncle thing.
Her finger trembled. Hopefully .
They wouldn't , a voice that sounded strangely like Necronomicon insisted. They were her friends. They stick by her, through thick and thin.
And even if they didn't. She still had Ren and Sojiro. And Morgana, of course.
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New GROUP message between users
Oracle : guys, I have something to confess.