Chapter Text
"Pond...I don't want to have any more kids."
The words crash between them like shattered glass, the silence afterward deafening. Phuwin has carried this secret for years, tucked away behind weak smiles and vague promises, but he can't hide it any longer. Not when Pond keeps talking about babies, about expanding their family. Not when Dunk finally called him out for being dishonest with his own husband.
So tonight, standing in the middle of their bedroom, Phuwin rips off the bandage before he can change his mind.
Pond's hopeful smile dies instantly. "What?"
Phuwin lifts one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, his eyes already filling with regret.
"Wh-" Pond blinks rapidly, the shock hitting him like physical blows. "What...since when?"
Phuwin shakes his head, suddenly unable to meet Pond's gaze. His throat tightens around the truth.
"Look at me, Phuwin."
When Phuwin forces himself to look up, Pond's face is pale with hurt.
"Answer me." Pond’s command comes out strained, trembling at the edges.
"Since...right after Sirinya was born."
Pond stumbles back a step like he's been slapped. His eyebrows knit together in confusion. "So..." The realization dawns slowly, painfully. "All those times we talked about having more kids...what was that?"
"I..." Phuwin exhales shakily. "I wanted to tell you, but you were always so happy talking about it. The longer I waited, the harder it got."
"So you just led me on?" Pond's voice cracks. "You made this huge decision alone and let me keep hoping?"
Phuwin reaches for him instinctively. "Baby, think about it. Sirinya's practically grown now. Do you really want to start over with diapers and midnight feedings?"
"Sirinya only got this big because you kept asking me to wait!" Pond's hands fly up in frustration. "'Just a little longer, Pond. Not yet, Pond.' And for what? For nothing!"
"Can we please sit down and talk about this?" Phuwin pleads. "Properly?"
"Why?" The single word lands like a hammer. They both know what Pond means- why bother talking now, when Phuwin's already decided everything?
Phuwin's courage withers under Pond's glare. He wishes desperately that confessing to Pond felt as easy as it had with Dunk. But seeing the betrayal in Pond's eyes makes his stomach churn.
"It's too much, Pond," he tries to explain. "Kids need us forever- emotionally and financially. Not to mention that babies take a toll on you, your body, your mind, your career. Look how long it took to recover from taking time off with Sirinya. I can't do that again. I don't want to."
Pond's face cycles through emotions too fast to name; disbelief, hurt, then finally a slow-burning anger that makes Phuwin's stomach drop.
"Just like that?" Pond scoffs, the sound harsh and unfamiliar.
The scoff cuts deeper than any shout could. Phuwin flinches at the derision in Pond's voice, at the way his husband is looking at him like he's some disappointing stranger.
"I understand how you feel-" Phuwin starts.
"Do you?" The icy question hangs between them, heavy with accusation.
"Of course I do." Phuwin frowns, wounded by the implication.
"I wonder," Pond says slowly, "Since you went ahead and made this decision alone anyway."
Phuwin's mouth snaps shut. He has no defense for that truth. But what comes next strikes even harder.
"You made the choice alone and expected me to just fall in line, didn't you?" Pond's voice rises with each word. "Like you know what’s best for our family and my feelings don't matter. You took the easiest route for yourself. So selfish."
The words land like punches. "Selfish?" Phuwin whispers.
"What else would you call it?" Pond fires back. "Did you think about me at all? About us? Or were you only thinking of yourself?" His next words slip out like poison. "Maybe you love yourself more than you love our family."
The moment the words leave his mouth, Pond sees something break behind Phuwin's eyes.
"Is that really what you think of me?" Phuwin's voice is terrifyingly quiet.
Pond inhales sharply, realizing too late the damage his words have done. He scrambles to soften the blow. "I mean-"
"How long have you felt this way about me?" Phuwin asks, each word precise and wounded.
"No, I..." Pond trails off, helpless. Because the awful truth is that in this moment, he does think Phuwin acted selfishly. But seeing the devastation on his husband's face, he can't bring himself to say it again.
The silence stretches, thick and suffocating. Finally, Phuwin nods once, blinking rapidly. "Okay." The single word sounds final. He turns and walks out without another word, leaving Pond standing alone, already regretting everything.
***
Dunk's phone vibrates insistently in his pocket during the photoshoot for the launch of his new clothing line. He catches a glimpse of Phuwin's name flashing on screen but ignores it, focusing instead on adjusting the model's sleeve. The moment the shot wraps, he sends a quick text: In a meeting. Call you back in 20.
When Dunk finally steps away twenty-three minutes later, Phuwin doesn't pick up. The missed call notification sits heavy in his gut. something's wrong.
Hours later, perched on a sun-warmed bench outside Akk's daycare, Dunk's phone rings again. He answers immediately, cradling the device between his shoulder and ear as he checks his watch. Fifteen minutes until pickup time.
Phuwin recounts his fight with Pond while Dunk listens silently, letting the words wash over him; the confession about not wanting more kids, Pond's explosive reaction, those final crushing words hanging between them.
"Imagine Pond's audacity," Phuwin spits out, hands tightening on the steering wheel, "accusing me of loving myself more than I do our family." The anger in his voice can't quite mask the raw hurt beneath.
Dunk knows better than to take sides. He picks his words carefully. "You did make this decision alone though." The bench creaks as he shifts his weight.
"Only because I knew exactly how Pond would react!" Phuwin's voice pitches higher, tires screeching slightly as he takes a turn too fast. He’s driving home while speaking to Dunk. "I was trying to find the right way to talk about it first."
“It’s been years since you decided.”
“I know but it’s not an easy thing to just say.”
A toddler's laughter floats across the playground. Dunk watches a little girl chase bubbles before asking gently, "Is there any chance you'd change your mind?"
"No." The word lands like a slammed door.
Dunk sighs, rubbing his temple. "You have your reasons. Just give Pond time. He'll come around and you can work this out."
The silence stretches so long Dunk thinks the call dropped until Phuwin's voice comes through, small and broken: "Dunk...Pond is so angry. He doesn't get like this with me. Ever. I'm...I'm scared."
The admission sends a chill down Dunk's spine. He chooses his next words even more carefully. "You want to be heard and understood, right? Pond needs that too."
Through the phone, Dunk hears the sharp intake of breath, then nothing. The truth sits heavy between them. How does a marriage survive when two people want fundamentally different things?
Phuwin's grip on the wheel loosens as the weight of it all crashes over him. This isn't just a fight anymore. It's a rift widening between them with every passing hour. Lately, they can't even agree on what to watch for dinner without sparks flying. He doesn't know if they've always been this different or if they're just weaponizing every little thing now. All he knows is the man sleeping in their bed next to him feels like a stranger, and the distance between them is slowly tearing him apart.
***
The tension between them lingers like a thick fog over the next few days. They move carefully around each other, keeping conversations brief and polite, smiles strained whenever Sirinya is watching. They're both trying so hard to keep things normal for their little girl. But Sirinya, with her dad's intuition and her papa's sharp mind, notices anyway.
It happens during a shopping trip for Sirinya's new party dress for a birthday party she’s been invited to, as well as some grocery-shopping. She swings her legs idly from the shopping cart seat when she suddenly asks, "Papa, can we go see the lakeside today?"
Phuwin blinks, caught off guard. "If you want, sweetheart. You want to see the ducks swim?"
Sirinya shakes her head so hard her ponytails whip against her cheeks. "You and Daddy like it there." Her small face grows serious. "If we go, you'll be happy and stop being angry with each other."
The words hit like a physical blow. Pond and Phuwin exchange a glance heavy with guilt, their daughter's perceptiveness laying bare their failure. Pond crouches to her level, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Papa and I aren't angry with each other."
Sirinya gives him a look far too knowing for a five-year-old, a look scary akin to Phuwin’s. "You don't kiss each other and hug and hold hands anymore," she counters, swinging her legs harder, the metal cart creaking.
The truth stings. Phuwin's throat tightens as he realizes their child has been cataloguing their every interaction, every missing gesture of affection. Of course they’ve had plenty of fights in the past, but Phuwin thinks this one is their worst one yet.
Pond takes Sirinya's small hands in his, his thumbs brushing over her knuckles. "I'm sorry, princess. Papa and I had a small fight, but we'll talk it out, okay?"
"You don't hate each other?" Her voice is small, uncertain.
Phuwin's response comes too fast, too desperate. "No. Never."
"Then don't fight." Sirinya's lower lip trembles. "I hate it."
"Okay, we won't," Phuwin murmurs, the promise heavy on his tongue.
"Papa," Sirinya says with startling authority, "kiss Daddy goodnight today."
"I will," Phuwin lies, offering a smile that feels like it might crack his face.
Their trip to the lakeside is a farce of happiness; forced laughter, exaggerated smiles, hands that almost but don't quite touch. The harder they try, the wider the gulf between them grows. That night, alone in the dark, both men cry silent tears into their pillows, mourning a marriage neither knows how to save.
***
The phone rings a few days later, Dunk's name flashing on the screen. Phuwin answers with a quiet, "Hey."
"Bro, I need a huge favor," Dunk says, voice bright with excitement. "You know that Bali trip Joong and I have been planning? Our schedules finally aligned for the first time in forever, there’s a long weekend coming up and it just seems perfect for us!"
Phuwin forces enthusiasm into his voice. "That's great. You two deserve a break."
“Yeah. We need someone we trust to watch over the kids for us though, so…could you and Pond? Please.”
“How long?”
“4 days tops. We would ask our parents but we’ve done so many times already and…I hate to ask you but we’re really…Joong and I need this. And with the new baby coming soon, this might be our last chance for a while..." Dunk trails off awkwardly.
Phuwin swallows the bitter taste in his mouth. Just because he doesn't want more children doesn't mean he judges Dunk's choices. "I'd say yes right away, but I'll need to check with Pond first."
There's a pause. "Is...are things still bad between you guys?"
Phuwin closes his eyes. "Yeah."
"Shit, man. Look, if it's too much-"
"No," Phuwin interrupts, his loyalty to his friend overriding his own pain. "It's fine. I'm sure Pond will agree. I'll call you back."
***
Dunk sets his phone down on the marble countertop with a quiet click. He watches Joong crouched by Akk's high chair, making exaggerated faces as the toddler giggles around a mouthful of mashed banana.
"Phuwin says he'll ask Pond and get back to us," Dunk reports.
Joong doesn't look up from blowing raspberries on Akk's chubby wrist. "Okay." The single word holds layers of unspoken questions.
Dunk leans against the counter, crossing his arms. "They're still fighting," he confirms before Joong can ask. "I think this might be their worst one yet."
Joong finally straightens, wiping banana-smeared hands on a dish towel nearby. "You think it's about Phwuin not wanting any more kids? Or Phuwin keeping it secret?"
"Probably both." Dunk sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe we shouldn't send our crew over there right now. The tension..."
Joong nods, coming to stand beside Dunk. "At least both sets of grandparents agreed to help. Let's give Pond and Phuwin some space."
A comfortable silence falls between them, broken only by Akk banging his spoon against the tray. Then Joong turns, his expression suddenly vulnerable. "Hey, if you ever didn't want more kids...you'd tell me, right?"
Dunk doesn't hesitate. "Of course." The memory flashes in Dunk’s head of that awful period after the incident when a co-star drunkenly kissed Dunk at a party and Dunk kept it from Joong who ultimately found out anyway through gossip at work. The weeks of icy silence, were unbearable. It was a painful lesson about honesty.
Joong's hand drifts to Dunk's barely-there bump, his touch feather-light. "Do you think we should stop after this one?"
Dunk bursts out laughing. "You've asked me that every single pregnancy since Nam!"
Joong grins, but his eyes remain serious. Dunk sobers, covering Joong's hand with his own. "Honestly? We'll just do what feels right. Like always."
The kiss that follows is slow and sweet, the kind that still makes Dunk's toes curl after all these years. Until…
"Ewwww!" Nam's dramatic groan cuts through the moment. "I won't miss that while you're away."
Dunk pulls back just enough to mutter against Joong's lips, "And this is exactly why we need this trip."
Joong chuckles, pressing one last kiss to Dunk's nose before stepping away. "Desperately."
Nam marches past them and snatches Dunk's phone from the counter without ceremony.
"Hey!" Dunk protests. "What happened to your own phone?"
Nam gives him the same exasperated look she's perfected at seven years old. "Yours is much nicer." With that, she saunters out like the queen of the household.
Joong shakes his head as Dunk stares after her. "That child..."
"I need to call Lita about the travel arrangements," Dunk says, already mentally running through their checklist. "We're cutting it close."
Joong blocks his path with surprising gentleness. "Let me handle it. You should rest."
Dunk opens his mouth to argue, but Joong takes his hands, his thumbs tracing circles over Dunk's knuckles. "I love how you take care of everything," Joong murmurs. "But right now, let us take care of you. Just...slow down a little. For you and the baby."
The fight drains out of Dunk all at once. He's so used to powering through - schedules to manage, kids to wrangle, a household to run. Sometimes he forgets he's allowed to pause.
"You're right," he admits, shoulders relaxing. "I'll go up. But don't let Akk stay up too late."
Joong smiles, that soft, private smile reserved just for Dunk. "I'll put him down, help Mai with her math, then I'm all yours."
Dunk cups Joong's face, drinking in the warmth of his husband's gaze. "You're amazing," he whispers before sealing the promise with a kiss.
***
When Pond enters their bedroom later, the air turns heavy. Phuwin watches from the bed as his husband moves with careful precision, gathering clothes without meeting his eyes. The silence between them has become its own entity, heavy and suffocating.
"Dunk called," Phuwin says finally, the words too loud in the quiet room. "They want us to watch the kids over the upcoming long weekend so they can go away on vacation."
Pond stiffens, his shoulders tensing visibly. These days, every conversation feels like walking through a minefield. When he turns, his eyes are guarded. "Joong mentioned it to me too, and…I don't know. Is now a good time?"
Phuwin exhales shakily. "I've been asking myself the same thing. The atmosphere..."
Pond runs a hand through his hair, the motion agitated. "You know what? Maybe the distraction will be good. It’ll give Sirinya something else to focus on besides..." He gestures vaguely between them. "Since she's noticed we're fighting, I'm afraid it'll affect her more if she spends all her time watching our fake smiles."
Fake smiles. The words land like a slap. Phuwin's throat closes around the sudden ache.
"Yeah," he manages weakly. "You're probably right. I'll tell them yes."
Pond nods once, sharply, before disappearing into the bathroom. The door clicks shut, and Phuwin is left staring at his own reflection in the mirror- a man he barely recognizes anymore.