Work Text:
One
Eddie’s POV
Three weeks into living together and Eddie couldn’t believe what he was looking at. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. Sure, it was bound to happen. But usually, Buck talked to Eddie about these things. Sue Eddie for being dumbfounded when he found it. He had read it so many times he had it memorized. But he was still in shock when he read it for what felt like the hundredth time.
Te ves muy, muy hermoso cuando te despiertas por la mañana. Quiero mirarte todas las mañanas.
Eddie was still just as confused as he had been the first time he read it. Naturally, he understood what it said. But what he didn’t understand very much outweighed what he did. Like when did Buck learn Spanish? Who was this for? Why did Buck leave it in the kitchen where Eddie could find it? And again, when did Buck learn Spanish???
All Eddie had wanted was to wake up and to drink his coffee while reading or something, to have an easy morning. Chris was at a friend’s house and Buck had a 12 hour shift today. He was going to relax.
That apparently wasn’t going to happen now. All he could think about was that Buck had met someone again. Eddie didn’t know why that fact filled him with a jumble of jealousy, rage, and dread - okay he did but he didn’t want to say it or even think it because that would make it real - instead of happiness. He should be happy for his best friend. All Eddie wanted was for Buck to be happy. He just didn’t know why it couldn’t be with him.
Buck met someone and didn’t tell Eddie. Eddie’s heart sank at the thought. He and Buck always told each other everything. So, what changed now?
*
Eddie was still stuck on the note many hours later as he sat next to his best friend on the couch while they watched whatever Buck had chosen.
Truthfully, Eddie hadn’t been able to focus on anything other than that damn note. He tried to all day. No matter what he did, his thoughts brought him back to the note. He tried everything. EVERYTHING. Reading, listening to music, watching a show, going for a run, drawing (the one hobby he hides from everybody). He even tried writing about his feelings. It had been a disaster all day.
He couldn’t focus on his book. Every song that played was a love song. The only show he wanted to watch was one he and Buck watched together. Running was pointless because he saw a little girl riding her bike and it reminded him of the time Buck helped a little girl after she fell and Eddie realized he wanted to see Buck with a little girl of his own that Eddie would be able to share in one way or another.
Each drawing he started ended up with something that reminded him of Buck. First, it was a basketball which reminded him of the one time Buck came to the pickup game and Eddie had the time of his life. Then, it was a bakery, and it made him want some of Buck’s snickerdoodles. After that, it was a flower which just so happened to resemble the ones Buck got for him after he found out Eddie had never received flowers. The last attempt at a drawing distraction was supposed to be a simple heart. It somehow turned into Buck’s face with his birthmark shaped like a heart. Overall, very productive.
And as for writing? Well… that went about as well as one might expect from somebody trying not to crash the fuck out about a love note his best friend - who he is NOT in love with, btw - wrote for somebody else.
What did Eddie do? Well, naturally he did what anyone would do after realizing some things about himself and his sexuality and his feelings for his best friend. He had written a response for a note that wasn’t even for him.
E,
I love how your smile lights up the entire room when you walk into it. I want to be the one to make you smile for the rest of your life.
*
And now? All Eddie can think about while his best friend is pressed up against him - oddly closer than usual - is that the note will be found. Even worse, that Buck will know exactly who wrote it and who it is for. And then all hell will break loose and there goes the most important relationship of his life.
Eddie sleeps on the couch that night. He cannot share a bed with the man he is in love with. Especially not when Buck has somebody else in his life, someone special enough to be getting notes like the one he left.
Two
It had been a week and a half after the first note was found in the kitchen. Eddie had been totally normal about it all week while also trying to avoid that topic. Buck had been looking at him like he needed to ask Eddie something but always chickened out. Eddie felt like he was going to burst.
This morning, though, he woke up feeling better than he had since finding that note. Buck wasn’t next to him when he woke up – if Eddie was a little sad about it, no he was not – which was weird because it was early on a day they both had off. Usually, they stayed in bed and cuddled until one or both of them got too hungry to wait any longer to get up and eat. Totally normal best friend behavior. All best friends cuddle every chance they get.
Without Buck there to cuddle with him, Eddie woke up grumpy. Every time without fail. He would never admit to it, though. He slowly sat up and and checked the time before dragging himself out of bed: 6:30am. Too early to be awake on his day off. Especially without coffee which he knew they were out of because he and Buck were supposed to go to the store together today.
When Eddie finally made his way to the kitchen, he was welcomed by the smell of coffee but an empty house. Which, that was weird. He knew they didn’t have any coffee left and Eddie was supposed to bring Christopher to school soon. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up and prove he wasn’t dreaming. No, there was, in fact, fresh coffee in the coffee pot being kept warm with a little note next to it.
Brought Chris to school. Early science club meeting.
Didn’t want to wake you. Coffee is fresh. Drink up.
-B :)
And well, who was Eddie to turn down fresh coffee before 7 in the morning? That would just be rude after Buck went through the trouble of making it. Especially since Buck took Chris to school as well while letting Eddie sleep. It made his heart melt thinking about how much Buck loved Chris. Never ceased to amaze him how willing Buck was to drop everything for a kid that wasn’t biologically his. Although to be honest, Eddie sometimes forgot that with how much they looked and acted alike.
Eddie sat down on the couch to watch some tv while he drank his coffee, still opting for an easy morning. All was great until he leaned forward to set his mug on the coffee table, almost on top of a mysterious piece of paper. It couldn’t be. It was just a one time thing. It had been a week and a half, and Buck and Eddie had spent every moment they were not working together. When had Buck had time to hang out with this mystery person? Had he been sneaking out of the bed they shared at night to go be with this person?
Eddie wasn’t sure he wanted to know what this one said. But he couldn’t help himself. With dread taking over, he sighed and read this one.
Me encanta cómo bailas cuando crees que nadie puede ver. ¿Déjame ser tu pareja de baile?
Eddie had no right to be upset about this. Obviously, he wanted Buck to be happy. But Eddie liked dancing too. He danced when nobody was watching too. What made this person so special? And why did Buck leave the note out in the open again?
The thought that Buck could be with this person now instead of him made him so jealous he could scream. What did he do instead? He wrote back, of course. Because Buck would never find these, so it was okay to indulge in this.
E,
I love watching you interact with kids. Especially the ones you’re closest to. I can only hope that one day I’ll be so lucky as to watch you raise one of your own.
He stashed the note in the junk drawer with the other one he wrote because he knew Buck would never find them there. Then he went back to drinking his coffee and watching whatever was on. He honestly couldn’t say what it was.
Three
Eddie thought for sure when two and a half weeks passed with no new notes that the mystery person was finally out of Buck’s life. Eddie was not that lucky, apparently.
Buck and Eddie had been hanging out at home all day. It was a Saturday and Chris was at a sleepover for the weekend, so it was just the two of them. These moments had been rare lately. Eddie was secretly glad it could be just the two of them. A part of him felt smug that Buck was there with him and not the person he was seeing. If he sat closer to Buck than usual – read, pressed up against him so much that they were joined at the hip along with everywhere else – that was his own business. All friends sit that close. It is super normal.
Eddie wasn’t sure when it happened but the next thing he knew, he woke up with his head resting on something soft, yet solid. He figured out, after a moment, that it was Buck’s shoulder. Eddie didn’t want to move. He was too comfortable. That, and he felt Buck’s hand running through his hair on the back of his head. It made him feel boneless. It felt perfect. He never wanted to move. If he could have stayed there forever, he would have.
But Eddie was also pretty sure he just felt Buck kiss his hairline. Before he had a chance to panic about it, he was being gently moved so he was laying down on the couch instead, followed by the sound of receding footsteps. Disappointed was an understatement. He just wanted to cuddle with his best friend. Apparently, that was too much to ask for. Eddie was NOT going to pout about it.
After groveling for a few minutes, he finally sat up, rubbing his eyes before opening them. Buck was nowhere in sight, leaving Eddie confused. He was beginning to think Buck left when Buck emerged from the hallway behind Eddie.
Eddie turned to look at him. He had changed out of comfy clothes.
Buck smiled at a sleepy Eddie. “Hey, Eds. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
Eddie shook his head and rubbed his eyes again. “Nah. Been up for a little bit. Actually, I thought you left.”
Buck’s face fell for a moment, as if he felt bad. “Oh, uh no. I mean, not yet. Just on my way out now, actually.”
Eddie checked his watch. 2pm. He was confused. Normally, Buck would tell Eddie where he was going. But now, he was acting kind of weird. And he was dressed nice. And he was going out. “Oh. Um. Have a good time, then.”
“Uh, thanks?”
Eddie needed to know more without actually asking what he wanted to ask. “You, uh, you gonna be home tonight?” He scratched the back of his neck nervously.
“Yeah,” Buck responded, more of a question than a statement. “Yeah, I should be back in a couple of hours. Text me what you want from that Thai place down the street and I’ll pick it up for an early dinner before I get back.”
“Okay.” And Eddie. He needed answers. It was killing him not knowing where Buck was going or what he was doing – or who he was going to see – but really it was none of his business. He had just gotten too used to Buck offering that information freely, was all.
“Okay, well I’m going to go, then. I’ll see you later for dinner?”
All Eddie could do was nod in response. Next thing he knew, Buck was out the door, and he was all alone.
Too tired from his nap still to work through what just happened, Eddie opted to go to the kitchen to make himself a coffee to wake up.
Everything was great until he sat down at the table with a cookie from Buck’s latest batch while waiting for his coffee to finish brewing. There it was. Staring at him, taunting him. Another note. Buck obviously left this one behind on accident as he was heading out to meet up with the mystery person. Eddie was definitely not jealous of a person he had never met before. Or maybe he had met them and that was why it was a secret.
A sick feeling washed over him at the possibility of Buck getting back with his ex, the one Eddie vowed to never speak to again. As long as Buck was happy…
Eddie didn’t believe himself.
The only thing he could do right now was read the newest note. He had read two others, what was one more?
Encajas perfectamente en mis brazos. Quiero abrazarte para siempre.
Not only was Buck seeing someone else, but he was cuddling with them too??? Upon further reflection, that makes perfect sense. Of course Buck would be physically close with his partner. Of course he holds them, probably way more often than he holds Eddie. Buck was just a cuddly guy in general. It made sense. That did NOT mean Eddie liked it.
He had no other choice but to get over it. He couldn’t even admit to himself the feelings he had for his best friend that were growing exponentially every day. Even more so since they moved in together. The only thing he could do to process and forget the note was exactly what he did the last two times. Reply.
E,
You are the safest place I’ve ever had. Being in your arms is all I want. I felt you kiss me when you thought I was asleep. I wish I could’ve given you one back. And so many more. But I think you’re in love with somebody else.
Eddie put it in the drawer with the other two to be hidden away forever where they would never be found. Not even by him.
That is what he thought, at least.
*
Buck’s POV
Buck was definitely NOT on his way to crash out at Maddie and Chimney’s. He had DEFINITELY not given his sleeping best friend a forehead kiss and then promptly got up to stop himself from kissing him more. He was so fucked. Why did he think living with the guy he realized he was in love with a week before he moved back was a good idea? He was so royally fucked.
Four
Buck was definitely not still crashing out the following Saturday when Eddie was on shift and Chris had asked to spend the weekend at Denny’s house. He definitely didn’t crash out more when he decided to clean out the junk drawer Eddie just kept putting things in and never organizing. He wasn’t crashing out when he found three love notes tucked away in the back addressed to E. E could only mean one person, Eddie. Somebody else had also written him love notes. Buck thought he had been doing something special for Eddie, to make him feel loved. Even if Eddie never said anything about them back.
Sure, Buck had wanted to say something, wanted to ask what Eddie thought about them. But he chickened out every time. It had been over a month since Buck left the first one for Eddie. It would be too embarrassing now. Risky, too. He didn’t want to risk ruining what they had build together.
He had felt too many feelings – big feelings at that - about Eddie and got them out the only way he knew how, to write them. No words in English seemed to do Eddie justice. It all sounded too cheesy or corny or just downright lame. He decided to try use Spanish instead because he knew Spanish from his time in Peru. Sure, he was rusty. But he and Eddie had been watching telenovelas together and Buck has been able to practice while watching them. He was never fluent, just enough to hold a conversation. Or in this case, write his best friend a love note.
Now, there were three more from somebody else, confessing their love for Eddie at the same time. Figures. Eddie was a great catch. Anyone would be lucky to have him. Especially because he knows Eddie would never want Buck like that. Yeah, Eddie came out to him the week he and Christopher moved back. But just because Eddie was gay didn’t mean he would want Buck. Buck knew he wasn’t a catch. He knew he wouldn’t be good enough for Eddie. So, Buck would take whatever Eddie gave him and be grateful for anything he got.
He kept staring at the three notes in his hand. First, talking about his killer smile. Buck was fond of it too. Then how great he is with kids. God, had this person already met Christopher too? When was there time??? But the last one? The last one, a lightbulb went off in his head. “In your arms…,” “…felt you kiss me while I was asleep.” The handwriting looked familiar. It was Eddie’s. He didn’t know how he missed it at first. E could be Buck. Oh.
Buck was so fucked it wasn’t funny anymore. It never was. He did NOT play about Edmundo Diaz. And apparently Eddie didn’t play about him either.
Buck needed to do something about this. He needed to know how it ended – hopefully with him and Eddie happy together but he didn’t want to push his luck – so that maybe he could keep writing notes, but maybe Eddie would talk to him about them.
There was a part of Buck that wondered if maybe his notes got thrown out. They were not with the ones Eddie wrote. Maybe Eddie didn’t feel this way about Buck, and it was somebody else. Somebody else with a name that starts with E. But that last note…
He needed to find out for himself.
After quickly putting all the contents of the junk drawer back into said drawer, – minus the notes Eddie wrote – Buck sat at the table to write another note. He was so overwhelmed with his feelings for Eddie right now that he wasn’t sure where to begin. And then it hit him.
Mi corazón,
Todo lo que quiero es envejecer contigo. Me haces más feliz de lo que nadie más lo ha hecho. Creo que tal vez algún día te lo cuente en lugar de escribirlo. Ahora mismo tengo demasiado miedo para arruinar lo que construimos. Pero es hermoso. Amarte es fácil.
Buck felt that still didn’t quite cover what he felt. But it would have to do for now. Just until he could actually tell Eddie how he felt. Man, he really needed to talk to Maddie about this.
*
Eddie’s POV
Eddie got home around 6pm to nothing but an empty house. Normally that wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that Buck texted him earlier telling him not to pick up food on the way home because Buck had dinner covered. Yet the house was empty. Maybe Eddie had misunderstood him.
Instead of thinking about it too hard, he decided to get cleaned up. He had opted to shower at home instead of at the station. He was wiped out. To be honest, it had been a long shift even though it was only a 12. A kid about Christopher’s age died in his arms and it about broke him. All he wanted to do now was clean up and go to bed early.
Feeling a little better after a shower, he made his way to the kitchen for a small snack because he knew Buck would be mad if he didn’t eat at least something.
Deciding on a piece of a mystery loaf Buck had baked, he sat down at the table to eat it. When he saw it, he almost choked on his bite of loaf. As if the day couldn’t get any worse, there was another love note on the table that Buck forgot to bring for his mystery person. Again.
After reading it, Eddie felt sick. He felt all of that for somebody else when Eddie wanted to grow old with Buck.
He was exhausted, he could barely think. But he had responded to the other ones. Might as well respond to this one too.
With a sigh, he got straight to the point.
E,
I just want you to be happy.
I love you.
Then Eddie went to bed, leaving the piece of half eaten mystery loaf and the note on the table next to Buck’s note, forgetting to put his in the drawer with the rest.
He cried himself to sleep that night, overwhelmed from the taxing day and the fact that the person he was in love with was in love with someone else.
Some time later, he woke up. He had no idea what time it was, but it was fully dark now. And he was no longer alone.
Buck was behind Eddie, holding on to him, pulling Eddie closer to him while lightly running his hand up and down Eddie’s stomach. His face found a home against the back of Eddie’s neck while he peppered soft, light kisses there as if he was worried about waking Eddie up.
Eddie relaxed into Buck’s touch, resting a hand on his arm before falling back asleep, forgetting about everything else. This was the only place he wanted to be.
Eddie felt loved. He was going to soak up every second he could before he had to go back to reality.
Five
The next morning, Eddie woke up to the other side of the bed being empty and cold, the smell of French toast and sausage wafting down the hall. Eddie loves Buck’s French toast.
He didn’t usually make it without a request for it unless he knew Eddie needed a little something to help cheer him up.
That means somebody told Buck about the call yesterday. Suddenly he was dreading getting up. That meant they were having a talk.
Eventually after a couple minutes, Eddie finally sat up. By the smell of it, breakfast was almost ready which meant Buck was going to come check on Eddie anyways and wake him up to let him know there was breakfast if he wanted.
As Eddie emerged from their shared room and into the kitchen, he took a moment to stop in the doorway and admire the view. It almost made him forget what was probably coming.
Buck’s back was turned to the doorway, working on something at the table. Eddie could imagine his face without seeing it, brows knit together in concentration, tongue poking out slightly. It was always so cute.
Eddie was pulled out of his mini daydream at the sound of whipped cream being sprayed out of a can.
Uh oh.
It was worse than Eddie had thought. The only way it could get worse was if—
Oh no. Strawberries.
Eddie loved strawberries. Buck knew Eddie loved them too. He always made sure Eddie had them if they were going to have a tough talk or if he knew Eddie needed cheering up. It almost always worked, too.
He needed to know what Buck knew before he said anything he didn’t want Buck to know. He probably knew a lot.
Not wanting to get caught staring, Eddie cleared his throat. “Mornin’,” he mumbled.
If Buck was startled, he didn’t show it. “Hey, Eds. How’d you sleep?” Buck asked without turning around.
“Good I guess. You? Didn’t hear you come home last night.”
“Didn’t want to wake you. Was at Maddie’s when Chim got home. Told me it was a rough shift. Figured you wouldn’t talk about it even if I tried.” Buck stood up to tend to the sausage that was almost done cooking on the stovetop, sparing a glance at Eddie that was so brief Eddie almost missed it.
Eddie had no reply to that. Of course Buck knew where his head was at last night. “So all this for breakfast is, what, a scheme to get me to talk about it?”
Buck’s shoulders slumped a little as he sighed, moving the sausage into a bowl. “No. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not going to push this time. I don’t want you to feel like you’re being pushed into anything.”
And, well, that was… new. Were Eddie and Buck talking about the same thing right now?
Eddie was confused. “Uh, thanks. But then why all the effort into breakfast?”
Buck turned slowly to face Eddie – who had ventured a little further into the room than the doorway now – and leaned against the counter in front of the sink, arms crossed. “Because I wanted you to have something good in a bad situation in case you were still upset today. You sometimes are if you don’t talk about it with somebody.”
Oh. It will never cease to amaze Eddie how well Buck knows him; sees right through any façade he tries to put on. Eddie could have kissed Buck right there.
Eddie moved closer to Buck. “You did this for me?”
Buck nodded. “Of course. Sometimes I feel like this is the only way to reach you. I didn’t want to push this t-”
Buck was cut off by Eddie hugging him. Tightly, too. He never wanted to let go. He loved this man so much. “Thank you,” Eddie said. It came out muffled against Buck’s hoodie.
Buck, finally taken out of his frozen state of surprise, hugged Eddie back. Of course he did. He never wanted to stop hugging Eddie. “No problem,” he said quietly back.
Eddie could have sworn he felt the ghost of a hand on the back of his head before Buck pulled away to finish preparing breakfast.
They didn’t talk much after the hug. It was a comfortable silence as they ate at the table in the kitchen.
Buck ended up telling Eddie after they finished eating that he had to be somewhere soon and Eddie found himself regretting picking up an extra 12 so he was unable to go with Buck. It was probably for the better anyways. Buck probably didn’t want him going with.
He quickly shook the thought out of his head. Dragging his feet to get up and get ready for his shift, Eddie was staring blankly at the table. That’s when he saw it.
Oh no.
Do not let that be what he thinks it is.
Eddie reached for it.
Two pieces of paper. One with Buck’s handwriting, and one with Eddie’s.
Fuck.
There was no way Buck hadn’t seen this. Eddie couldn’t believe he had forgotten to put the notes in the drawer last night before he went to bed.
Oh this was bad.
Suddenly, Eddie needed to get out of the house as soon as possible.
Quickly getting up, he put the dishes in the sink and rushed to get ready. Buck was in the shower, so Eddie decided to just get ready at the station. He already had all his stuff there anyway. It was easier to avoid Buck this way instead of trying to tiptoe around him.
He left without so much as letting Buck know, still forgetting to hide the notes.
*
To be honest, Eddie wasn’t giving his best at work today. He was too distracted by what happened this morning. For the first time, he was glad that he wasn’t working with any of A shift. They would all read him like a book and would eventually corner him about it. C shift just kind of let him be in his own world. That was, until he was too distracted to be of use at work. At least that is what he was told.
Bobby had to stop by on his day off to drop off some paperwork and Eddie saw him talking to the lieutenant on duty. Next thing he knew, Bobby was telling him that he needed to go home because he was too distracted and had already worked too many hours for the week.
After some grumbling and trying to argue, – none of which Bobby was taking - he went to the locker room to get changed and get ready to go back home.
If Eddie hadn’t been so stuck in his own head, maybe he would have noticed the small smile Bobby was trying to hide as he walked out of the firehouse with Eddie.
Eddie knew there was no use in trying to argue to stay anymore. He was going to have to face Buck some time anyways.
Bobby made small talk as they walked to Eddie’s truck. It was kind of weird. He never usually did this with Eddie. Maybe he just didn’t want Eddie to overthink being sent home.
With a quick goodbye and hug, Bobby handed something to Eddie without saying another word and left.
Eddie got into his truck before looking at what Bobby handed him.
It was a note with nothing but 4 words on it.
Mi hermoso,
Look up.
Eddie’s heart began to race. He didn’t want to let himself believe it. He was trying to prepare himself for anything that he could possibly see when he looked up.
After what felt like hours but was probably seconds, he looked up and-
Oh. His heart positively melted at the sight in front of him.
Buck was standing in front of Eddie’s truck with a large bouquet of flowers and Eddie’s favorite chocolate.
He didn’t know it was possible, but he fell even more in love with this man. God, he wanted to marry him.
Eddie’s face was already sore from smiling by the time he got out of his truck.
“What’s this for,” he asked Buck.
Buck handed him the flowers and the chocolates. “For you.” He was being uncharacteristically shy. It was so cute.
“What’s the occasion?” Eddie smelled the flowers. They were even more beautiful than the first ones Buck had gotten for him.
Buck reached into his back pocket and pulled out 4 notes. “Um. I got your notes?” He sounded so unsure of himself, a bit nervous.
Eddie was going to do everything in his power to put a stop to that. He was beginning to realize what was going on.
“Oh yeah?” Eddie set the flowers and chocolate down on the hood of the car, somehow suddenly confident. “And what did you think?”
Buck put the notes back in his pocket while he spoke. “I think that maybe we have some things to discuss,” Buck replied before cautiously taking Eddie’s hands in his then meeting his eyes. “But I didn’t want you to try to avoid me when you got home. Especially since you got sent home early by Bobby.”
“Wait how did you-” Eddie suddenly realized how suspicious it was that Buck just so happened to have shown up right after Bobby kicked him out of work and handed him a note that Buck wrote.
“Bobby helped me set this up. You know you don’t have to take extra shifts. I told you I’d pitch in. We’re not arguing about this again. Anyways, I pulled some strings and made sure somebody could cover for you after Bobby told you to leave. Everything is taken care of, so you don’t have to worry or feel bad.” Buck let out a small nervous chuckle. “Can we go home and talk about,” Buck gestured between himself and Eddie, “this?”
Eddie felt like he could turn into a puddle any second. He was in awe of everything the man standing in front of him had done just to surprise him. All he could do was nod at first. Then, with a clear of his throat, “yeah, home sounds good.”
Buck gave Eddie’s hands one final squeeze before letting go. But he didn’t move. He looked like he wanted to say something else but stopped himself and was rubbing his forearm like he always did when he was nervous.
Eddie moved closer again to press a quick kiss on Buck’s cheek before grabbing his flowers and chocolate off the hood of his truck. “See you at home, then?”
They both had bright red faces now as they smiled at the other.
Buck nodded. “I’ll meet you there. I have one more stop to make before I head home. I’ll make it quick though.”
“Okay. See you soon, then.”
With that, they parted ways.
Plus One
Eddie considered himself a patient man most of the time. This was NOT one of those times. Waiting for Buck to get home felt like torture. It has been an hour since they parted ways at the firehouse. He had time to shower, change, put a little more effort into his hair than usual, and clean the house. He had so much nervous energy that he couldn’t sit still.
The possible outcomes that could happen after they had their conversation were driving him crazy. Most of them end with what he wants to happen. And what he hopes Buck wants, too.
To try to pass the time even more and to help channel some of this nervous energy, he decided to sit at the kitchen table and write one more note to Buck, unprompted this time. In a way - now that he knew Buck had seen the others – it was like talking to Buck. Talking to Buck always calmed him down.
B,
What I feel for you is indescribable. I’m convinced there aren’t words to express it properly. It’s so much deeper than love. Eres mi alma gemela, siempre. Whatever you want to say, I’m ready to hear it. I’ll take you however I can have you.
Yours, Eddie
Just as he was signing the note, he heard the front door open. He didn’t even have time to call to Buck.
“I’m so sorry, Eds. There was a line at the store and then they got the order wrong and had to fix it and then I hit traffic, and it was taking forever to get home when all I wanted to do was be here. I’m so sorry.” Buck had been yelling throughout the house while moving around until he found his way into the kitchen with a small bag of groceries.
At the sight of Buck, Eddie forgot about waiting along with everything else that wasn’t Buck. He took the bag from Buck and set it on the countertop, giving him a soft smile. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
They just looked at each other for a moment, Buck nervously rubbing at his arm again.
Eddie remembered the note to break the ice. “I wrote you something. If you want to read it. You don’t have to, of course.”
“You wrote something for me?”
Eddie nodded, picking the note up from the table and offering it to Buck.
Buck took it and read it.
Eddie watched as Buck’s smile kept growing until he was scared Buck’s face was going to break. Eddie wasn’t much better off. He had a matching smile.
Buck looked back up at Eddie and suddenly Eddie felt very vulnerable. For the first time, not in a bad way.
“Do you mean it?” Buck seemed to be at a loss for words.
Eddie nodded, huge smile still very present on his face.
“You’re not just saying this because you feel like you have to, right? You didn’t just discover they were for you and are pretending just so I don’t get hur-”
Buck was cut off by Eddie’s lips on his.
Eddie felt Buck freeze for a moment before relaxing into it and kissing him back. It was everything Eddie had hoped for and so much more.
He pulled away slowly, but not without an additional quick kiss. “That a good answer for you?”
Buck nodded, still looking dazed. “Y-yeah.”
They smiled at each other again for a moment before realization flashed across Buck’s face.
“I may have one more thing I want to discuss with you…” Buck looked nervous again.
Eddie took Buck’s hands in his. “What’s up?”
“Well, since we already live together, and we coparent, and now also kiss…” Buck let go of one of Eddie’s hands to reach in his pocket for a box and lower himself to kneel on one knee. “Edmundo Diaz, will you make me the happiest man in the entire world and marry me?” He let go of Eddie’s other hand just long enough to open the box and then grabbed ahold of Eddie’s hand again.
Eddie was so overwhelmed with emotion. He hadn’t expected this today. He had hoped maybe one day it would turn into this. But he definitely hadn’t expected it to be today. He didn’t care. He would have married Buck years ago.
Eddie nodded and let out a soft, “yes.” Then a little louder, “yes, I’ll marry you. I’d love nothing more.”
Buck wasted no time in slipping the silver band on Eddie’s finger and Eddie eagerly pulled him up into another kiss.
*
Later as they laid on the couch together watching a show, Eddie kept admiring his ring and how it looked among their intertwined fingers. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Selfishly, Eddie was glad Chris had asked to stay the night at Denny’s again when they called to tell him the news. Buck, of course, had gotten Chris’s blessing so Chris already knew the plan. He had said something along the lines of him being happy his dads finally figured it out but not wanting to be around all that tonight. Whatever that meant.
Now Eddie was laying here with his fiancé while they watched their favorite show, trading soft kisses and getting all the cuddles he could ever want.
His future was right in front of him and he was wondering how he got so lucky to be able to choose Evan Buckley and to be chosen by him as well.
Eddie was half asleep on Buck’s chest when Buck began to feel around for something. He pulled a sandwich bag out of his pocket and held it in front of Eddie’s face, blocking the view of the tv.
Eddie reached for the bag. “What’s this?”
“More notes. Ones I wrote but got too scared to plant around the house. Some are ones I planted and you didn’t find. They’re all in Spanish too, I’m sorry.”
Eddie propped himself up a little to look at Buck. “Why are you sorry? Gives me another chance to keep up on my Spanish. But, if you don’t mind me asking, why Spanish?”
Buck shook his head. “It’s really cheesy. You might not want to marry me still if I tell you.”
“Try me, Buckley.”
Buck sighed. “Alright, alright. It was the only way I could put into words how I felt about you without it getting too real. But also, I just love hearing you speak Spanish. And English. I just love hearing you talk, I guess. So it reminded me of you.”
Eddie was grinning. “You’re so cute.” He kissed Buck’s cheek. “How did I get so lucky?” Then his other cheek. Now hovering right above his lips, “I love you.” A kiss. “And I can’t wait to marry you.” One more before he laid his head back down on Buck’s chest.
“I love you too, Eds.” Buck kissed the top of Eddie’s head and wrapped his arms around his fiancé. “I can’t wait to marry you either.”
Eddie couldn’t believe all of this started with a singular note.