Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Are you in a romantic relationship?”  

“What?” Bucky frowned at the man.  

“Whether you…” the reporter began again.  

"I understand. I just don't understand why you're asking that."  

"People want to know more about you and the others, including your personal life. To better understand you."  

"No, I'm not in a romantic relationship and honestly, I don't think it's anyone's business." Bucky's voice sounded annoyed as he pushed the man aside, ignoring the cameras.

Against her better judgment, Ava pressed the rewind button on the remote control and jumped back to the point where the reporter asked the question that made her insides clench painfully.

“Are you in a romantic relationship?”

“What?” Bucky frowned at the man.

“Whether you…” the reporter began again.

"I understand. I just don't understand why you're asking that."

  "People want to know more about you and others, including your personal life. To better understand you."

  "No, I'm not in a romantic relationship-"

With the push of a button, she froze the image and stared at Bucky's face. Her heart pounded excitedly in her chest as his words echoed in her mind. Breathing deeply, Ava tried to regain control of her nerves. The more she delved into this topic, the more intense her pain became. Her entire body tingled unpleasantly, as if thousands of ants were crawling all over her, constantly biting her. Thousands of tiny pinpricks that increased her pain immeasurably. With her eyes closed, she began to recite the prime numbers in her head, breathing deeply in and out. Her success was only moderate, because whether her eyes were open or closed, she constantly had Bucky in front of her and his voice in her ears.

"No, I'm not in a romantic relationship..."

In that sense, this interview was just the tip of the iceberg. Without being able to stop it, a tear formed and slowly rolled down her cheek. Internally, Ava debated whether she should call Bucky. But he hadn't returned her calls or texts for two weeks, so why would he answer now? When he left for Washington, D.C., two weeks ago to take part in a "secret government event", as he vaguely put it, she hadn't spoken to him or seen him via video call. Except for the current news coverage, which likely signaled the end of the meeting and his imminent return to the tower.

But the radio silence between them didn't mean the press was keeping quiet. The tabloids, in particular, were constantly unearthing new material, but even if much of it was far-fetched, there was also a grain of truth in every lie.

Tired, she rubbed her eyes and looked back at the frozen image on the television. With a pained sigh, she turned off the remote control and stood up, groaning. She already knew she was in for another sleepless night, but she couldn't continue like this in the long run. She desperately needed someone she could confide in.

She sent Bill a few lines via messenger and got ready for bed.

Hope, it was said, died last, and so she slipped into her bed, turned off the light, and stared at the ceiling in the darkness.

Around midnight, she couldn't stand it anymore and got up in frustration. After some back and forth, she decided to do a few laps in the tower.

---

Six hours ago

Bucky Barnes walked slowly out of the Capitol. The fact that Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine had appointed the former Thunderbolts team as the New Avengers on behalf of the government did not protect the group from the congressmen's suspicions regarding their connection to the OXE Group. Especially when voices began to see a connection between Void and OXE's human experiments.

Bucky groaned inwardly when he saw the group of reporters standing at the foot of the stairs. It was almost as if they'd been waiting for him, which was probably true, since he was officially the leader of the New Avengers. From the beginning, he'd been determined to shield the others from the media as much as possible, but it didn't change the fact that he felt very uncomfortable with so much attention.

Even after five months, the flood of criticism directed at the New Avengers showed no sign of abating. Newspapers and tabloids openly expressed their displeasure with the group, uncovering every scrap of their inglorious past and delving into it: Alexei's past as a Soviet propaganda hero with ties to the Red Room, Yelena's training as an assassin by that very organization, John's rise and fall as Captain America, Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier, and Ava's past as an assassin in the hands of SHIELD and—what the public has only speculated about so far—HYDRA. Too often, however, the media omitted the fact that Yelena, Bucky, and Ava had no choice, that Alexei had played a key role in destroying the Red Room, and that John, while a hothead, was trying to reform.

Bucky straightened his shoulders, put on a smile, and approached the reporters. "What do you think about the renewed investigations into your advocate, Miss de Fontaine?" a blond man asked, shoving the microphone in his face.

"Miss de Fontaine is not the advocate of the New Avengers, even though she introduced us to the public. If the accusations against her are true, then it's only right that she goes to prison for them," he replied curtly. Bucky felt guilty towards Bob for telling this half-truth. He was the best proof that the accusations against Val were true, but it would still be dangerous if he and the others testified against her. Because then it wouldn't be long before the team would be disbanded again. They weren't particularly popular anyway, and so far, Val's influence had protected them. Besides, Mel had also sided with Val.

“What is your opinion on Mayor Fisk’s approach to masked men, and does his policy affect the New Avengers?” came the next question.

"I think Fisk's policies are very aggressive and ineffective," Bucky replied. "Considering his past, especially with Daredevil, it seems more like a vendetta against people who risk their lives to protect others. I don't think his policies have any impact on the New Avengers, after all, we're under the protection of the government."

“Are you in a romantic relationship?”

"What?" Bucky frowned in confusion. "Whether you..." the reporter began again. "I understand," he interrupted the blond. "I just don't understand why you're asking that."

"People want to know more about you and others, and that includes your private life," he replied, as if it were perfectly obvious. "To better assess you."

"No, I'm not in a romantic relationship, and honestly, I don't think it's anyone's business," Bucky growled angrily, pushing past the reporter and the cameras. If people were going to start asking such inappropriate questions, he'd refrain from answering any more for today.

With one hand, he hailed a taxi to take him to the airport. Bucky could hardly wait to finally be in New York.

--

When he entered the now completely renovated Watchtower two hours later, Bucky almost physically felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He didn't want to admit it, but by now he could no longer deny how stressed he was being in the public eye almost constantly. Maybe he should really consider resigning from his post as a congressman.

He stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. When the doors opened again, Yelena was waiting for him.

"So? How's Val doing?" she asked.

Bucky shrugged. He hated keeping the others guessing about his true reason for being in DC, so he tried to answer as casually as possible. They still believed he was secretly investigating Val, and the longer it remained that way, the better. "So far, we're still missing any incriminating evidence or witnesses, so this whole thing will probably drag on for a while," he said. He discreetly looked around the penthouse as he walked to his room and put down his bag.

Yelena, who had followed him, didn't miss his searching gaze. "Are you looking for someone in particular?" she asked, deliberately innocent. "No," Bucky quickly dismissed. "It's just a check-in. Who knows what kind of chaos you'll cause in two weeks."

Yelena playfully slapped him on the shoulder. "It was you who almost set the kitchen on fire three months ago when you were trying to make pancakes."

"And Alexei disabled all the electronics in the tower four weeks ago," Bucky replied. "It took Ava and me three days to get everything working again."

"Point for you. But apparently it shows that old men shouldn't be allowed to use technology," she grinned.

Bucky snorted. "May I remind you, I'm from the 1940s? I still have to learn all this." Even after more than ten years in the 21st century, he still hadn't gotten used to it. Perhaps he never would. So much of it was simply too foreign to him, too far removed from what he'd grown up with.

--

An hour later, they were sitting around the round table that dominated the kitchen. Since John had once again been too lazy to cook – they took turns and there was a set schedule for who was on duty when – there was only frozen pizza. The others also noticed that someone was missing from the group.

"Where is Ava?" Bob asked. "Isn't she hungry?"

"She hasn't appeared for three hours," Alexei remarked. Bucky tried not to show how much the words worried him. "She is probably haunting the tower somewhere in the old ghost manner," Shostakov chuckled, the only one who laughed at his joke.

In the beginning, it had often happened that Ava was absent, or at least didn't show herself, for hours or sometimes even days. The only way they knew she was still there was when the kettle suddenly switched on, sandwiches were missing, or a book floated through the air, literally held by an invisible hand. They had quickly realized that this was Ava's strategy to avoid having to interact with anyone on the team and that living with others was primarily an expression of her social anxiety and insecurity. It had taken some time for Ava to feel safe within the team. Nevertheless, it still happened often enough that she simply disappeared or sometimes didn't speak a single word for days.

After they were finished, Bucky placed the last pizza on a plate and set out a glass of water so Ava could get the food once everyone had left the room.

--

Night had long fallen when Bucky went to the floor with the laboratories. Ava was actually the only one from the team who came down here. She mostly continued researching physics and quantum mechanics with her father Bill Foster, to optimize her suit. Melina Vostokoff had also been here a few times. When they started their research three months ago, it had awakened old memories for Ava, memories that hadn't always been pleasant. But the urge to find out more about the powers that had been a part of her since she was six had overpowered the fear. Since then, Ava often retreated here, but apparently not this time, as Bucky quickly noticed. No objects floating in the air, no flickering, no Ava.

Barnes re-entered the penthouse and went into the kitchen to make himself another coffee. The glass and plate were gone. At least she ate something, he thought as he turned on the coffee maker.

Bucky paused briefly when he felt a draft of air next to him.

“Ava?”

His voice sounded husky as his eyes frantically scanned the room. But he found no evidence of her presence, and she didn't respond. Silence and disappointment were the only echoes that reverberated from the walls.

Back in his room, he was met with emptiness and a pile of papers that he would have to sort through over the next few days. The reason for his two-week absence had been a secret meeting of various working groups discussing contingency plans for possible alien invasions, which the population was supposed to know nothing about to avoid panic. Bucky pulled the documents from his bag and placed them on his desk, setting his mug next to them. Even though he was dead tired, he decided to at least skim through them.

Bucky sighed heavily and sat down at his desk. His reluctance to work any longer continued to grow, but he grabbed a pencil and notepad and drew up the first planning ideas.

Chapter Text

At the appointed time, Ava arrived at the lab and smiled when she saw Bill.

"What's going on, little one?" he asked, putting the meter aside to give her his full attention. "Is it about Bucky?"

She looked at him perplexed.

Bill grinned crookedly. "I was young and in love once, too."

"That's not it!" she snapped, alarmed, only to cave in. Sighing, she sat down next to him and brushed a strand of hair from her face. Taking a deep breath, she tried to organize her thoughts before quietly saying, "I don't understand why he lied."

Bill moved the suit he'd just examined slightly aside. He was the only one who knew about her relationship with Bucky. After she hadn't been able to sleep last night, she'd sneaked around the tower the whole time until sunrise. Afterward, she'd called Bill and asked him to come to the Watchtower. She needed to talk to someone about it.

"Maybe you should just ask him, Ava," he said. "Bucky was looking for you last night, wasn't he?"

She sighed. "At least that's what it looked like. I was with him too, and then... I got scared and ran away again."

"That's not exactly helpful. You have to be careful not to sabotage your relationship. And I don't know how effective it is to avoid him all the time," he replied.

"I know that," Ava hissed, before grimacing. "Sorry," she mumbled, hanging her head. "I just don't know how to handle this. I mean, does he even love me? And if so, why did he claim he wasn't in a romantic relationship? And why has he ignored my calls and texts for the past two weeks?" She leaned forward and put her head in her hands.

"Don't forget it was the press," Bill remarked, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Aside from the fact that the question was completely inappropriate, he probably just wanted to avoid any rumors about him or the team."

"Maybe," Ava murmured. She had to admit his point was valid. But still, there were doubts. Bucky hadn't even read her text messages, had never answered his phone when she called. Ava hated herself for doubting him, for being so insecure.

"You should talk to him, little one. If this keeps coming between you, it'll only make things more awkward."

"I'm scared," she admitted. "I've never been in love before, I've never felt as deeply for anyone as I do for him. And what if my feelings are only one-sided..."

"You've been together for two months, Ava," Bill reminded gently. "And I stand by what I told you after I caught you two here: No one breaks my daughter's heart without having to deal with me. Not even Barnes. And if I have to pull out my old Goliath suit to take on the super soldier, I will, you can count on it."

Ava smiled slightly. "Thanks, Dad."

--

She stayed with Bill in the lab for the next few hours, assisting him while he configured the gray-white suit. Although Ava had spent the past few years fighting with the firearm specially designed for her—the only item other than her clothing that could dematerialize or made invisible with her—she still hadn't really gotten used to it. Ava had grown to hate the weapon because she had used it to kill Antonia Dreykov. That's why Bill was working on attaching small energy collectors to the suit's fingers so she could concentrate quantum energy at those points. If they succeeded, she would have non-lethal weapons made of pure energy. This way, Ava wouldn't have to constantly rely on phasing and her close-quarters combat skills. They only stopped working when the sky outside the windows grew increasingly dark.

"You should eat something, Ava," Bill remarked. He'd been upstairs a few times to get sandwiches and tea, but she hadn't eaten all day.

"I won't be able to get anything down anyway," Ava replied quietly. "Or I won't be able to keep it down."

He approached her, his expression worried and alarmed. "Has it gotten worse again?" Shortly after the quantum anomaly, she had barely been able to eat anything because the pain was too severe and she kept dematerializing. It had taken years for her body to adjust to the point where she could eat almost without problems again.

Ava nodded. "That's why I couldn't sleep last night," she murmured. "It sucks. But I can't wear the suit all the time. The longer I wear it, the more pain I feel afterwards."

“Why are you only telling me this now?” Bill asked sharply.

"I didn't mean for you to worry," Ava replied quietly, her eyes lowered guiltily. "You can't change it anyway."

"Did you use your suit to hide from Bucky?"

She paused briefly, then nodded. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to remain invisible for so long without being noticed at some point. Unfortunately, I still can't fully control my powers without the suit. And I know what you're about to say, Dad," Ava remarked, seeing that Bill had already opened his mouth, "but I'll keep wearing the suit."

"Ava ..." he said, his face twisted into a pained grimace. "Do you really want to go through pain just to avoid meeting him?"

The black-haired woman looked away, her fingers clenched together. "At least I know how to deal with the pain. It's not foreign to me. The situation with Bucky, on the other hand ... I don't know what to do. You say I should talk to him, but I'm afraid of what might come of it. This is all still new to me," Ava tried to explain. She shook her head. "It's totally stupid that I feel more afraid of talking to Bucky now than I was of the Winter Soldier back then. At the time, I could have been killed on any mission, not to mention the fear that he would kill me during the training sessions."

"I understand," Bill said. "Back then, your life may have been at stake; now it's your happiness. While I still maintain that you absolutely have to sort this out, I can understand your reasoning."

--

A tremor ran through her body, her field of vision narrowing. Ava almost stumbled as she stepped out of the elevator. Bill had just left and advised her to rest as well. Even though she suspected sleep was the last thing she would find right now, she had agreed to at least go to her room.

The pain in her body grew stronger with every second, and Ava struggled to stay on her feet. The floor seemed completely deserted in the darkness, almost frighteningly dark, but her eyes, trained in stealth missions, quickly adjusted to the lack of light as she ran to her room. Her hand tightened around the handle and she pushed open the door. She staggered into the room, barely able to stand, and collapsed to the floor. A small voice in the back of her head urged her to close the door, but she couldn't bring herself to stand.

Ava's breathing was rapid as she retreated into the shadows, crouching down. The pain intensified as her body was torn from reality. She pressed her lips together to suppress the sounds of pain. The pain washed over her in waves, moving through every fiber as her cells were ripped apart again and again. There was no holding. Every sensation was wiped away, replaced by the pain that tore her apart further and further. She was now nothing but shreds. Fragments that pierced every corner of her body. Ava didn't notice the tears on her cheeks, the gasping breaths, the rapid beating of her heart beneath her ribs.

The darkness hid the phase shifts, the trembling and spasms of her body. Echoes of herself pulsed around her, like shadows of fraying light. Optical, spectral images that pulled up and out of her, undulating, slow, and painful. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the pain. But the harder she tried, the worse it became.

The world became so intangible that Ava could barely bear it. The feeling of endless falling was so present, so terrifying, that the panic increased. Her breathing was panting as she gasped for air while reality became a distant construct. An illusion, intangible. Undetectable. She felt as if she were being catapulted from the world, standing completely apart. Pain tore at her limbs as her molecules were ripped apart, her body twisting against her. Slowly, coldness crept into her limbs, her face contorted in pain. A grimace that captured the perceived horror in her expression.

"Ava."

At first she thought she'd imagined his voice. But then she felt his hand on her shoulder, a tiny, painless point where the metal touched her bare skin.

"Go away."

The words tore at her heart, but Ava didn't take them back. She kept her eyes closed, not daring to look into his face. She felt his surprise and uncertainty at her words in the way he slowly pulled away. Bucky took his hand off her shoulder, and the pain that flared up there again was so intense that she gritted her teeth. Deep down, Ava knew this stubbornness was stupid. But everything in her resisted showing herself so vulnerable when she wasn't sure where she stood with him, when the radio silence and his words to the press stood so present between them that she couldn't look past it.

Ava heard his footsteps as he left her room and quietly closed the door. They echoed within her. Something inside her cried out like a wounded animal. The part that, despite the situation and the unspoken things between them, longed for comfort and support in this moment, that wanted nothing more than to lean against Bucky's warm body. He had held her often enough over the past few months, whenever the pain had become unbearably bad. Despite the phase shift, it had at least kept her mentally grounded in reality, anchoring her there when his arms wrapped around her body and she could feel his warm breath on her skin.

Ava remained alone in the darkness of her room, more ghost than human, desperately wishing she had never seen that interview. Despite the unanswered texts and calls, perhaps then she could have accepted his consolation.

When Ava opened her eyes, she noticed the white teddy bear lying right next to her. It was the stuffed animal Bill had given her when they first met at the orphanage in Argentina. Bucky must have taken it from her bed and placed it next to her. Ava reached for the bear and grabbed it. She pressed it to her chest, buried her face in its fur, and tried to swallow the tears that were welling up again. Her heart ached as she realized that Bucky respected her boundaries and yet gave her as much comfort as possible by placing the teddy bear by her side. The teddy bear that had always made the pain a tiny bit more bearable, that had been by her side for twenty-one years.

Chapter Text

Ava hesitated to leave her room. Only in the early hours of the morning had the pain subsided enough that she fell into a restless sleep, waking up only a few minutes earlier. It was now midday. She opened her door a crack and immediately heard Alexei's booming voice calling John an idiot. Presumably, he'd been telling some story from his glory days, and Walker had expressed his doubts about its veracity, as he had so often done before.

Ava slipped through the door and crept silently along the corridor. She stopped in front of Bucky's room and paused. She could still turn back. But she knew Bill was right. She had to talk to him about it, even if it felt even more frightening after what had happened last night. By now, Ava was ashamed of not having accepted his help.

Suddenly, an even worse thought occurred to her. What if he was having an affair? What if that was the reason he had ignored her? It would explain his behavior in a frighteningly logical way. Her heart clenched and she felt sick at the thought. Suddenly, Ava wanted nothing more than to hide somewhere.

"Ava."

She flinched when she heard Bucky's voice. He was standing at the end of the corridor, his expression reflecting surprise and concern. He approached with quick steps, closing the distance between him and her. Ava dissolved before he could reach her.

She cursed herself for her damned cowardice as she ran invisibly toward her room, almost running over Bob in the process. Ava dodged him just in time, darting past him, and deciding to go to the lab instead. Maybe work would provide enough of a distraction to keep her from thinking about Bucky cheating on her.

--

It wasn't until evening that she dared to return to the penthouse. The others were already sitting around the table, ready to start dinner. "You're just in time, Ava," said Yelena, the first to notice her. The men also raised their heads and looked at her. Only with difficulty did she suppress her renewed urge to flee. Ava did her best to avoid looking at Bucky as she dropped down on the chair between Bob and John.

"You've made yourself pretty scarce lately," John remarked. "I've been missing you."

Ava frowned, irritated. "Not you," she growled. She didn't feel like talking right now, especially not with Walker. She knew he was trying to mend his ways, but she could really do without his insensitive manner right now.

"Why so bitchy, Ava?" John raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder. From the corner of her eye, she saw Bucky tense up. Within a millisecond, he grabbed only air as Ava dematerialized. "If you touch me again, I'll break your fingers," she hissed at Walker. He flinched and lowered his hand again. "Are you on your period or what?"

Ava ignored the comment, but couldn't stop herself from flinching at the words. She noticed Yelena's worried look. "Bucky has more sensitivity," she murmured inaudibly. "And he grew up with a completely different image of women."

Alexei took the floor and began to tell another of his hair-raising and probably half-made-up stories. Everyone else silently concentrated on their food.

Ava only managed a few spoonfuls of the soup Bob had cooked. It tasted delicious, but the pain reminded her that she had to be careful if she didn't want the contents of her stomach to turn back out within the hour. Ava felt the others staring at her, but fortunately, no one said anything.

After dinner, Bucky retreated to his room. While Alexei and John sat in front of the television, Ava joined Yelena and Bob at the table and watched them play cards.

After a while, John and Alexei returned to the kitchen, and while Walker got a bottle of beer from the fridge, Yelena's father sat down at the table. "Have you noticed that Mr. Soldier is acting strangely?" he asked the group. "He seems tense."

"Stop calling him that, Shostakov," Ava snapped before she could stop herself. She bit her lip and avoided Alexei's irritated gaze. "But why?" he retorted. "He's the Winter Soldier."

"He was. Crucial difference," Ava replied. "And that time meant torture, brainwashing, and cryosleep for him—all in all nothing that was in any way pleasant." She immediately thought of how many times she had witnessed it. Again and again they had erased his memories, again and again they had conditioned him with the words. Each time it had been so horrific that it had given her nightmares. Nevertheless, she had always been invisibly at his side, unable to bear the thought of leaving him alone during those agonizing minutes.

"Then why are you still calling yourself Ghost?" John chimed in. "After all, you were given that name too."

"But unlike Bucky, I am what they called me," she said quietly.

--

"Hey, you okay?"

Yelena had stepped up beside her. Ava sat on the tiles in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, staring out at the New York skyline. The windows of the skyscraper were illuminated like countless dots. The traffic on the streets dragged slowly by, almost like bands of red and yellow light in the darkness.

Ava nodded. Yelena sat down cross-legged on the ground next to her, a few centimeters between them. She recognized from the caution in the blonde's voice that she was asking about her well-being because of what had happened at dinner. It was still strange to have others worry about her, and all too often she didn't know how to behave in such situations. Nevertheless, she was grateful to Yelena for it.

"I never wanted children," Ava murmured after a while. "And that hasn't changed to this day. But it still sucks to be reminded of it by comments like that. Apart from the fact that Walker's statement was sexist."

"Dad asked me the same question after Natasha and I got him out of prison and I punched him in the face," Yelena said. "After that, I gave him a very graphic description of how the Red Room forcibly sterilized us. John tries, but sometimes he's still an ass."

"In the void ..." Ava paused, not sure if she should continue. So far, she had only told Bucky and Bill about what she had seen there. She looked at Yelena. In the blonde's hazel eyes, there was nothing but a silent promise to listen, which gave her the confidence to continue: "First, I had to relive how my parents died. Then ..." She hesitated briefly. "More moments from my life followed. The first murder I committed. The experiments ... After that ..." Ava paused again. She closed her eyes briefly, took a deep breath. "Then I entered another room and had to watch them do this to me ..."

Even though Ava didn't know whether she was physically capable of bearing children when the act of procreation alone was virtually impossible, it was yet another choice taken away from her. They had done it to dehumanize her, to gain more control over her body, to make her even more effective as a weapon. They had done it against her will. And that, ultimately, was the worst part.

Suddenly, she was no longer able to speak. Her shoulders shook, and her body briefly flickered out of reality.

"I can imagine how bad that must have been," Yelena whispered.

"I was only thirteen," Ava murmured quietly, almost inaudibly. "That was the last room before I met Bucky."

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Yelena straighten up. "You met him in the void? In one of your rooms?"

Ava nodded. "When I was under SHIELD's control, I was trained by the Winter Soldier. Which means I actually did the assassinations for HYDRA." It was the first time she'd spoken about it with anyone other than Bucky or Bill. What they'd seen in their shame rooms hadn't been revealed to the other before.

"Is that why you're around him so much?" Yelena asked. "I noticed you haven't been feeling well these past two weeks while he's been gone."

Ava swallowed. She briefly considered telling Yelena the whole story, but then decided against it. Bill already knew about it, and she didn't want to drag anyone else into her problems.

"Everything's fine," Ava said, attempting a smile. "Are you sure?" her counterpart asked. "It doesn't seem that way."

"I appreciate your concern," she replied, "but everything really is fine." Ava felt bad about lying to Yelena, but telling the truth seemed even more challenging.

Talking about it was too hard. Talking at all was suddenly impossible. So Ava kept quiet. Became so calm, so still, that she no longer knew if she was still breathing. If she still existed. At the same time, she became a ghost so often that perhaps it didn't matter. Too often the transition was fluid. From ghost to human, from human to ghost. Most of the time she was something in between anyway. Too alive to be a ghost. With a beating heart, thoughts, dreams, sensations, feelings. And then again she was too silent, too still, too quiet, too empty to be human. With a body torn apart by pain, that didn't feel like it belonged to her, that flickered and couldn't touch anything, that could no longer be controlled. A body that had been turned into a weapon, but from which the human had never been completely removed. The state in between was constant pain, abilities that could be partially controlled, touches that were too intense, sounds that were too loud. Sometimes it was impossible for Ava to say what she was. All she knew was that she had been made even less human with the removal of the ability to give birth. At least, that's how it felt.

--

In retrospect, Ava couldn't say how long they sat there in silence. At some point, Yelena stood up. "I'm here if you need me," she assured her quietly before retreating to her room.

As she left, Ava became all too aware of her loneliness. Suddenly, the shadows cast by the incoming light no longer seemed protective, but threatening. She felt transported back to the time when she had sneaked through the dark corridors and sought out the Winter Soldier's cell. She had crouched against the wall, silent and still, and for some reason the loneliness had lessened. She no longer felt lost.

All at once, Ava realized how much she missed Bucky. So much that her heart clenched. It was a different kind of pain than the one she constantly felt due to the molecular imbalance. This one seemed more oppressive, more persistent. It wasn't as intense, but it was long-lasting.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and crouched down. Ava barely noticed the tears that welled up in her eyes and ran down her face. She missed the way he held her after waking up from a nightmare. Missed the way he touched her; so gently that it didn't feel overwhelming, that she didn't feel the need to flee from it. His understanding that sometimes she couldn't speak, that becoming invisible was a reflex hard to let go of, and that she had to learn to allow closeness again after being denied it for half her life.

Ava realized how much she longed for his presence. Almost as much as she had when the Winter Soldier had become the only person she felt safe with.

She vigorously wiped the tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater and jumped to her feet. She had to talk to him. Immediately.

It was actually much too late, as she realized with a glance at the kitchen clock, but Ava feared she'd lose her courage again by the next day. Without realizing it, she quickened her pace, scurrying down the corridor. She only stopped in front of Bucky's bedroom door. Hesitated for a moment, then knocked.

When he opened the door, Ava immediately noticed the shadows under his eyes. Surprise was reflected in his expression; he obviously hadn't been expecting her. Which was hardly surprising, Ava had to admit with shame, considering she'd been avoiding him for the past few days. Bucky was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, which led her conclude that he hadn't gone to bed yet. At least she hadn't woken him with her midnight appearance.

"I need to talk to you, James," she murmured. Bucky didn't respond. His only reaction was to open the door wider and step aside, allowing her to push past him into the room.

She heard Bucky close the door behind her, but he didn't move. For several long seconds, neither of them moved. They stood in the darkness, Ava with her back to him, Bucky staying where he was, silent. Shrouded in shadow and silence, like the ghosts they once had been. Maybe they still were. She felt her heart racing and her fingers trembling, the nervousness suddenly so present again that she had to force herself not to flee again. Ava lowered her head, concentrating on her breathing. Trying to master the restlessness inside her.

"It's all right, Ava. You're safe." Bucky's voice was quiet and familiar, a stop in the chaos of her thoughts and the fear of the conversation. He probably sensed her nervousness, or recognized it from the way her body flickered. Sometimes Ava hated how her powers made her so easily readable. At the same time, his words, his reassurance, were so comforting that it hit her off unexpectedly.

Slowly, Ava turned around and looked into his eyes. Her lips trembled as she spoke: "Why did you lie to the press? Why did you claim you weren't in a romantic relationship?" She wrapped her arms around herself as she waited anxiously for his answer. Ava hated herself for her insecurity. But her fear of loss was intense, and she didn't know how she would cope with losing him.

Bucky stared at her silently for a moment, the expression in his eyes unreadable. Then he cautiously approached. "If I had told the reporters the truth, they wouldn't have let up," he countered. "They would have wanted to know who I was dating, there would have been rumors, and eventually they would have found out about us. I didn't want you to be exposed to that."

With his words, he confirmed Bill's assumption. Hearing it from him now calmed Ava a little, but she still found it hard to forget the pain that had shot through her chest when he had said those words. Bucky seemed to notice what was going through her mind, because he said softly, "I'm sorry if I hurt you with this, Ava, but I don't think it would be wise for the public to find out about us. It would make the team vulnerable, especially since your father is the only one who knows about us so far. If that was the reason why you've spent the last few days—"

"No," Ava interrupted him, more sharply than she intended. She immediately lowered her voice again. "The reason I was avoiding you was something else." Suddenly, she couldn't look him in the eye anymore and lowered her gaze. She nervously tugged at the sleeve of her navy blue sweater.

"To be honest, it hurt me more that you ignored my calls and texts," Ava said. Her voice sounded husky, and she tried with limited success to hold back her tears. She cursed herself for letting it affect her so much. But it affected Bucky, so it was only logical. She'd never been able to keep it from getting to her, had never managed to isolate herself emotionally. That's how it had been with HYDRA, and it was even more so now. Most of the time, she managed to hide her feelings, but not when it came to him. Sometimes that made her feel all the more vulnerable, because unlike hers, Bucky's facial expressions rarely revealed his thoughts.

"Ava, I had to work ..."

"And would it have been so hard to send me a few messages?" she asked quietly. "Or if we'd spoken on the phone in the evening? I missed your voice. I missed you. Not hearing a word from you for two weeks was really unpleasant." Actually, unpleasant wasn't even remotely accurate. It had been nerve-wracking, stressful.

Bucky grimaced in pain. For several long moments, he said nothing, just stared over her shoulder at the wall, as if struggling with himself. Just when Ava thought he wasn't going to answer, he spoke: "Actually, I'm not supposed to tell you about this because it's top secret, but I wasn't in Washington for the negotiations or my work as a congressman. I was there to attend a meeting of various working groups that was looking at contingency plans for possible alien invasions. During that time, all participants' mobile devices had to be turned off to prevent any information from getting out through eavesdropping. That's why I was never able to answer the phone or reply to your messages."

Suddenly, Ava felt incredibly bad. How the hell had she ever thought of doubting him, and why hadn't she considered that the reason for the unread messages and unanswered calls was simply because his phone was turned off? She had more or less been trained as an agent; by all accounts, she should have figured that out.

"I'm sorry, James," she whispered. "I shouldn't have doubted you, I shouldn't have ... I should have ..." Ava couldn’t find the words. There were too many feelings, too many thoughts, all crashing down on her at once. Guilt because she distrusted him and had even thought he was cheating on her. Relief because there was such a plausible explanation for his behavior. Regret because she had ignored him for the past few days out of pure, completely irrational insecurity. She no longer knew what to say or how to react; she felt completely overwhelmed. Her body reflected her emotional state, the light echoes becoming more prominent.

Bucky approached her and opened his arms. She understood the invitation and let herself sink against his chest. Ava had missed the wordless communication, the small nonverbal questions and answers about what and how much was bearable for the other person at the moment. Bucky's arms wrapped gently around her torso, holding her close. And Ava finally no longer had the fear of disintegrating at any moment. She put her arms around his waist, leaned her head against his shoulder, and closed her eyes. Her insecurity vanished, the flickering fading. Feeling the warmth of his body and hearing the pounding of his heart was everything she had longed for the past two weeks.

"If I'd known we couldn't communicate, I would have explained the situation to you beforehand," Bucky murmured softly, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Even if there was a risk that you wouldn't be able to attend the meeting?" Ava asked quietly.

"Would you have told anyone?" he replied.

"No."

"Why did it only occur to me now that I could have sent you letters?" Bucky groaned after a few moments.

Ava laughed slightly. "Just like old times, huh?"

"Like old times," he confirmed with a grin. Suddenly, Bucky became serious again. He pulled away from her a little, catching her gaze. "Your insecurity about the situation was completely understandable, Ava," he said quietly. "If I hadn't heard from you for two weeks, I probably would have been unsettled, too. I have to admit, if I were you, I probably would have wanted to know the reason immediately, but considering you didn't know how to handle the situation, it was only understandable. So you don't have to blame yourself for avoiding me."

"But it was so unnecessary," Ava objected quietly. Nevertheless, she couldn't deny that his words comforted her. Once again, she realized how well he knew her by now. It was a tremendous relief to Ava that he didn't hold her accusations against her, that—indeed, he was understanding.

"It was human," Bucky replied gently.

Sometimes it still felt strange to Ava when someone called her human. Probably because it was so hard for her to see herself as human. In her mind, she was still a weapon, a ghost, but not human. Even if Bucky always managed to make her feel human.

She knew he felt the same way. After all the horrors HYDRA had done to him, after they had turned him into a weapon, after they had dehumanized him so many times, it was hard to feel like a human being again. Even with regained autonomy, it sometimes seemed impossible, because it was hard to return to a body that hadn't been his own for seven decades.

Ava raised her right hand and gently stroking her fingers over his bearded cheek. Bucky instantly leaned into the touch, closing his eyes for a few seconds. Then he looked back at her. He placed his hands on her face, one warm, the other cool and firm. He gently wiped the last traces of tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. "You're human, Ava," he whispered. "That was the one thing HYDRA couldn't take away from you."

"You're human too," she replied. "You were then too, James."

Bucky looked at her lips. A nod from her was enough for him to close the last distance between them and kiss her.

Chapter Text

2001, Argentina

The sky was gray and covered in clouds. It would probably rain soon, but even so, Ava could see the children playing outside in the garden through the orphanage window. She put her hand to the glass. Maybe now it would work, maybe the pain would go away. When her fingertips touched the glass, her hand flickered. Instead of the smooth material, she was grasping only air, and the pain intensified. Ava pulled her hand back and looked out again.

Five days had passed since her parents had died. The firefighters had brought her here first and informed the authorities, but she didn't know what would happen to her now. She had lost everything. Her home, her family. Tears welled up in Ava's eyes again, streaming down her cheeks as she thought about it. Now the pain was all she had left. She hoped her condition would go away, that this strange illness could be cured.

The girl could already feel how it was changing her, how it was affecting those around her. Sadly, she let her gaze wander out the window again. Ever since she had arrived, the other children had stayed away from her and excluded her. They found her creepy. One boy had even asked if her condition was contagious. Ava thought of yesterday, when they had all sat around the big table for dinner. She had been so relieved when she had been able to hold on to her glass, but then her hand had flickered and it had fallen and broken. Some of the children had looked at Ava in fear, a few had laughed at her. More and more often they had referred to her as a phantom, a ghost.

Maybe she really was a ghost. At the very least, Ava no longer felt real, no longer human. Her condition cut her off from the world, from everyone around her. She no longer belonged; she had become an outsider. She had always found it difficult to make friends, but now... now she felt like she lived in a bubble, in a glass ball that cut her off from everyone else. She could observe people, but couldn't interact with them. At least not on a physical level. Ava wondered if the pain and this deep sadness would ever go away. The guilt she felt. If she hadn't run to her father, her mother would still be alive...

"Ava."

She looked up, glanced over her shoulder. The head of the home stood in the doorway, smiling gently at her. Nevertheless, Ava thought she recognized discomfort in her gaze. It seemed to be the same for all the adults she'd met since the accident. As if they were uncomfortable speaking to her, as if they were afraid of her. Or as if there was something deeply disturbing them. Ava could relate to that feeling. She felt exactly the same when she looked in a mirror. Something was wrong with her, something that had been irreparably destroyed since the quantum anomaly. It was the reason for the pain and the flickering.

"There is someone who wants to talk to you," she said, stepping aside.

A man entered the room. The smile on his lips was gentle but sad. He slowly approached her and knelt on the floor to be at her eye level.

"Hello Ava, my name is Bill," he introduced himself. "I was a friend of your father."

Ava didn't say anything back. But when she looked at him, she felt like she was whole again. If only because Bill wasn't looking at her if she were a ghost.

Hope spread within her, momentarily pushing the pain away. Maybe he could help her. Maybe he could cure her condition and make her human again.

---

When Ava awoke, it was still dark. It took a moment for her to realize that she was no longer in the orphanage in Argentina, nor in the labs or one of the bunkers. She was in the Watchtower in New York, in Bucky's room. The surroundings emerged from the shadows in shades of gray. Ava's gaze darted around frantically when she noticed he was no longer lying next to her. A few seconds later, her eyes settled on his hunched form.

Bucky sat on the edge of the bed, his face buried in his hands. Worry welled up inside her as she realized he must have been having a nightmare. Ava quickly stood up, approaching him slowly so as not to startle him.

"James, what's wrong?" she whispered, her voice trembling with fear.

Bucky didn't react, but she could tell from the way his shoulders tensed that he'd noticed her. There had been many situations like this before. Ava understood that it was just as difficult for him as it was for her to open up to another person and show vulnerability, but at the same time, it broke her heart every time he refused comfort and help and suffered instead because he thought he deserved nothing else.

She knelt down in front of him. Bucky slowly raised his head and looked at her. The forlornness and fear in his eyes shook Ava. Tears streamed down his cheeks. She carefully took his right hand in hers, gently stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, while placing her other hand on the side of his face, gently catching the tears.

"I'm here if you want to talk," she said quietly.

Bucky lowered his head again, avoiding her gaze. Ava couldn't tell how long they stayed in that position. Maybe it was only minutes, maybe an hour. She concentrated on keeping her body stable enough not to let go. Ava knew only too well that her touch was probably the only thing keeping him in the present at the moment.

At some point he spoke quietly.

"Sometimes I still have the words in my ears," Bucky murmured. "And it takes me a while to remember that they no longer have control over me, that they're just words, but ... I keep thinking about the void ..." He swallowed, paused for a moment. Ava shuddered at his words, steeling herself for what he was about to say. They'd been in this situation many times before. Sometimes it was her who had nightmares about it, sometimes it was Bucky who was haunted by it. The void had revealed things they'd both forgotten, and ever since they became aware of them again, they'd been haunted by it again and again.

"How many times did I beat you bloody before you learned to control your powers?" His voice sounded bitter, helpless, and desperate. Ava swallowed, trying to push away the images that instantly conjured up in her subconscious. She had still Rumlow's voice in her ear: "She'll learn to control her abilities if it's the Winter Soldier hitting her." Her eight-year-old self, panicking as she tried to evade the Winter Soldier's attacks. He had never hurt her severely, but always in a way that caused the most pain without causing any lasting damage.

"It wasn't your fault, James. You had no choice," she said gently. It cut into her heart to see him like this. So full of regret and guilt for something he had no control over. But Ava knew only too well that it made no difference. No matter who gave the orders and under what circumstances and for what reasons they had done something, they were the executing hand in the end. They faced the target, the human. They had to watch the life go out of their eyes, they had to hear the cries for help. The guilt remained. The faces remained. The names remained. The nightmares remained.

"You were so afraid of me ..." he murmured. "Sometimes I don't understand how you can stay with me. How you can kiss me, touch me, after I've hurt you so many times."

"That wasn't you," Ava countered. "You only did it because you were ordered to, because in every other situation, the Winter Soldier, you protected me. You were the only person there I felt safe around, James. And you still are now."

She squeezed his hand, trying to give him the support he always gave her when her body was torn from reality and the pain robbed her of her mind.

"I dream about it, Ava," he whispered in a quivering voice that revealed his fear. "Since the void ... I dream about how your blood shimmering on those damn metal fingers, how you lie on the floor in front of me, unable to move because of weakness and pain, how I wrap my hand around your throat and squeeze ... The fear of death in your eyes, your fingers desperately trying to pull my hand away, your body writhing in panic beneath mine, how you try with all your strength and unsuccessfully to break free ... I can't get rid of the images ...”

Ava wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Don't think about it, don't think about it," she whispered in his ear. She felt him pull her closer to him, burying his face in her neck. "Focus on me."

Whenever the Winter Soldier had overpowered her, when she lay nearly motionless before him, he had choked her. Pierce had believed that all she needed to do was be scared enough to use her abilities. The Winter Soldier had throttled her unconscious every time, and only much later had Ava learned to escape his grasp through phasing. Because, of course, the key hadn't been fruit, but focus. And focus was pretty much impossible when you thought you were going to die.

"I'm afraid of hurting you again ..."

"You won't," Ava assured them. "You won't hurt me again, James. They can't order you to anymore, and you would never hurt me of your own free will."

She felt Bucky slowly relax. "I'm so broken," he whispered. "No," Ava replied. "You're just haunted by things that can't be forgotten."

Bucky sighed softly. His grip around her tightened imperceptibly.

"I love you, James," she whispered.

He blew a kiss into her neck before replying softly, "I love you too, Nevidimka."

---

The next time Ava opened her eyes, the room was bathed in golden light. She felt the weight of the vibranium arm on her torso and Bucky's breath on her neck.

She turned her head and looked at him. His features were completely calm. He seemed so relaxed and at ease, something Ava hadn't often seen.

Bucky blinked and slowly opened his eyes. When he saw her, one of his rare, broad smiles crept onto his lips, which instantly made Ava's heart beat faster. They had slept in the same bed several times before, but it still felt strange to her in a good way. Probably because she had never believed she would find someone who wanted to wake up next to her, someone she trusted enough to let them get so close. Ava had always thought that it was her destiny to stay alone, that after everything she had done, she deserved nothing else.

"I like the way you look at me," she said softly. Bucky raised an eyebrow questioningly. "How am I looking at you?" A mischievous grin played around the corners of his mouth.

"As if I were really there. As if I were real."

"You're real, Ava," Bucky murmured. He raised his left hand and placed it on her cheek. "Can you feel that?" He gently stroked her skin with his thumb. Ava nodded. She could feel the coolness of the vibranium, the smoothness of the metal. It felt different from the old arm. She could even hear the soft hum of the mechanics inside.

"You are real, Ava. I can touch you, there's no flickering."

Ava placed her fingers over his hand, holding it gently. Then she closed her eyes, trying to memorize the moment. The blanket rustled as he moved closer to her. "You're real, Ava," Bucky assured her again before kissing her gently on the forehead.

The pain was barely noticeable, just a slight tugging at the back of her head. Nothing that took her out of the world. Ava smiled, realizing that this was the first time in a very long time that she felt like a human being. There was still the knowledge that she would never be fully human again, that the pain would intensify again, the phase shifts more uncontrollable, but now ... in this moment, she could believe Bucky's words.

The fear of disappearing was still there. It had become a part of her, like the pain that never stopped, her molecules that never came to rest. The moments when she was solid without the suit, when her body felt consistent and real, were rare and faded too quickly. But they occurred more frequently when she was in an environment where she felt comfortable, with people she trusted. After her parents died, the Winter Soldier had been the only one besides Bill, and now ... more had joined them. Yelena and Bob, Alexei, Melina ... even Walker, somehow.

--

"How do you feel about telling the others, Ava?" Bucky asked. After having breakfast with the others, they had retired to his room again, and while Bucky sat at his desk and continued to go over the planning approaches, Ava had sat down on the floor and was recalculating Bill's formulas.

She raised her head. "What do you mean?"

"That we're a couple," Bucky specified. He had turned around in his chair to face her, his arms resting on his thighs.

Ava looked at him thoughtfully. "I don't know," she said, biting her lower lip uncertainly. Secretly, she was worried about how the team would react and whether the dynamic within the group would change negatively after the "confession".

Bucky, recognizing her indecision, got up from the desk and sat down on the floor next to her. He gently took her hand in his and stroked it. "We don't have to rush into anything," he assured her.

"Maybe ... we should wait a little longer?" she asked quietly.

Bucky looked at her sympathetically. Let the others think what they wanted. The only thing that mattered to him was that Ava could live with the decision. And if she needed some more time, he was willing to give it to her. "We'll only tell when you're ready," he assured her, underlining his statement with a nod of his head.

"Are you angry about that?"

"What makes you think that?" he asked in astonishment, only to add a little more quietly, but no less emphatically, "I stand by what I said back then: it's nobody's business. And if we say something, it's on our terms."

With a sigh of relief, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close before releasing the embrace, leaning back slightly so she could look him in the eyes as she whispered, "I love you, James Buchanan Barnes."

His reply came promptly: "And I love you, Ava Starr."

Chapter Text

Two months later

It was a sunny afternoon when the team gathered on the large roof terrace to round off the weekend with a BBQ. With their next assignment approaching, they used the time until the mission to enjoy the quiet moments in life.

While Bucky oversaw the grill, Ava joined him and looked at him questioningly. They had done a lot together over the past few weeks, and she increasingly felt like they had all grown together into one big, colorful family. While she had been unsure a while ago, she now felt ready to reveal the secret between her and Bucky and let the others in on it. She gently poked Bucky in the side, causing him to raise his eyebrows at her.

"What is it? The steaks need a few more min—" He trailed off as she smiled at him and then looked at the others. "Oh," he said simply, his gaze wandering between her and the team. "You mean ...?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Okay," he smiled and turned to the others sitting at a large wooden table some distance away. "Um, guys? There is something we would like to tell you."

"Great! Are the steaks burnt?" John immediately asked, groaning. "I knew it! That old man and the technology! This isn't going to work!"

"Shut up, Walker!" Bucky whispered. "I know how to handle a grill!"

Alexei's curiosity got the better of him and he asked impatiently: "What happened then?"

"We," Ava said, standing close to Bucky's side so he could put his arm around her. "We happened."

Yelena frowned. "So what?"

Blinking, Ava looked at her friend. "What? 'So what?' We," she looked at Bucky, who was looking just as questioningly confused as she probably was, "we wanted to tell you that we're a—"

Now Yelena jumped up from her chair and said: "That you want to adopt a child?!?"

"Now, take it easy," Alexei objected, standing up and approaching the two. He stood in front of them with a serious expression. "Wait. One thing at a time. The more important question is: Why aren't you married yet? That's not right. First you get married, and then come the children. The kids need to grow up in an orderly environment!"

"Hold on a minute," Alexei interjected, standing up and walking over to the two of them. He stood in front of them with a serious look on his face. "Wait. One thing at a time. The more important question is: Why aren't you married yet? That's not right. First you get married, then you have children. Your offspring need to grow up in a stable environment!"

"Ma—married?" Ava was at a loss for words.

"Children?" Bucky asked.

"I will walk the bride down the aisle!" Alexei offered frankly.

Walker was also on his feet in the meantime and said, "Bro, I'm going to organize the best bachelor party New York has ever seen." He rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"When will the offspring move in here?" was Alexei's next question.

"Wait! Stop!" Bucky halted those present with the flat of his hand. "That... wasn't what we wanted to tell you."

"So, what now?" Yelena had joined the two of them and looked at them expectantly.

"Well, actually, we just wanted to let you know—"

"That you're a couple? Pfft ..." Yelena waved her hand in boredom. "That's old news."

Ava and Bucky looked at each other in shock before setting their sights on the blonde. "How do you know?"

"From John."

"Walker?!" Bucky blurted out.

"Hey, it's not my fault I happened to overhear your conversation," he shrugged and tapped his right ear. "Super soldier hearing. Next time, you might want to go to a bug-proof room when you discuss topics that you want to keep secret from your friends," he emphasized the word. As he spoke, he walked back to the table to toast Alexei and Bob.

"And of course you had to tell everyone right away," Ava grumbled. "If you overheard our conversation, you also heard us decide not to tell you yet. It's not fair to just go ahead and do it anyway."

"We probably would have noticed at some point either way," Yelena interjected soothingly. "In retrospect, there were several moments where one could have guessed there was more between you than friendship. And it was quite interesting to observe your interactions knowing about your relationship."

Bucky caught Ava's eye and shrugged. He scolded himself for not considering that they might be overheard, with two super soldiers living in the tower. But ultimately ... the reaction, while unexpected, was at least not negative, aside from John's dig.

"Please don't pester us about marriage and adoption," he said. "But if it comes to that, you'll be the first to know."

"And Alexei," Ava interjected, "as much as I appreciate you, the only one who would walk me down the aisle is Bill."

Yelena's father looked genuinely disappointed, but accepted her words with a nod. "Then I guess I'll never get the honor," he sighed quietly.

Bob, who had stayed out of the conversation the entire time, now spoke up. "I'm happy for you guys," he said with a smile. "But maybe you should flip those steaks, Bucky."

The man cursed under his breath as he turned the meat over and saw that the underside had already turned frighteningly dark.

Alexei and Bob had sat down at the table again and started discussing the best marinade for the steaks. Yelena used this moment to turn to Ava and Bucky again. "Give me a hug, Ava!" Before she had even finished her words, she was already hanging on her friend's neck. "It took a while with you two, but now nothing stands in the way of your happiness!"

John looked at Bucky. "It wasn't intentional, I wasn't eavesdropping," he said sincerely, holding out a beer. "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was on my way to the kitchen, and that happens to pass by your room."

With a nod, Bucky accepted the beer. "It's okay."

"I didn’t think you were such a chatterbox," Ava said to John, shaking her head in disbelief.

Walker shrugged his shoulders in a placating tone. "What can I say? Guilty as charged."

"You should have seen him when he stormed into the common room ..." Yelena laughed out loud and began to recount the events.

--

"Guys," John said, causing the others to raise their heads. "You won't believe what I just found out." He savored the moment briefly, enjoying their undivided attention. Then he blurted out: "Ava and Bucky have been a couple for two months."

"Wait, really?" Yelena exclaimed in surprise. "Why the hell didn't I notice that?"

"If either of them can turn invisible, it'll be easy to avoid getting caught together," Bob chimed in. "Especially since Ava's room is right next to Bucky's. So if she wants to get to him without anyone noticing, she just has to walk through the wall."

"Ah, young love," grinned Alexei, "When I think of me and Melina …"

"Nobody wants to hear that, Dad," Yelena interrupted quickly. "And what does young mean when Bucky," she paused briefly and did the math, "is eighty-three years older than Ava?"

"Do you think her father knows about this?" asked Bob.

"Foster? Probably. I bet we're the only ones who didn't know," John complained.

"What a story," Alexei exclaimed euphorically. "Two former assassins from the rival intelligence organizations SHIELD and HYDRA, who leave their dark pasts behind and find each other."

"Neither of them did this willingly, Dad," Yelena reminded her. She refrained from correcting him about SHIELD. Ava had told her in confidence, and she didn't know if the black-haired woman would want the whole team to know. "And ultimately, it's their decision when they tell us they're a couple. So please refrain from any subliminal comments or hints."

She cast meaningful glances at John and Alexei. "We would never do that," her father immediately assured them. Walker also nodded in agreement.

"Then that’s settled," grinned Yelena.

"Wow, how sensible," Ava acknowledged that her friends had actually kept their agreement after Yelena finished her story. "Thank you for standing up for us."

“No problem. Someone has to keep an eye on these troublemakers,” Yelena said as casually as possible. But secretly, she was very happy for Ava and Bucky, even though it bothered her that she hadn't noticed it sooner. Now, in hindsight, she noticed a few things that should have been clues. The way they always sought each other's company, like two magnets attracted to each other. How Bucky immediately checked on Ava after every fight, unless one of the others was injured. The long, murmured conversations in the kitchen when neither of them could sleep. Yelena had witnessed this a few times when she couldn't sleep either. Sometimes she had joined them. Until now, Yelena had always assumed that Ava and Bucky had found it easier to connect with each other because of their similar experiences, similar to the deep trust that now existed between her and the black-haired woman. But that their feelings for each other ran so deep ... Yelena grinned.

No one deserved it more than the two ghosts who still had to learn to be human again.