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Eddie was having a bad day. The price of formula had gone up – again –, Blankie had fallen out the pram in the produce section, resulting in a screaming fit, and Christopher had thrown up on 3 separate outfits (and one of Eddie’s) since he’d woken him up at the god-awful time of 4am and refused to go back to sleep. Eddie’s mother had informed him she would put his rent up by $10 a week if he didn’t find a place of his own, and he only had $20 left to put fuel into his starving rust-bucket of a truck.
And, it turned out, he’d locked the keys in it.
Honestly, it needed so much doing to it to repair it – things Eddie couldn’t afford – that he considered giving it up for lost and walking home, but he had to get Christopher somewhere that wasn’t the El Paso summer heat, and he had more groceries than he could carry, even with the little basket under the pram. He did the only thing he could think of.
911, what’s your emergency?
“Hi, my name is Eddie Diaz,” He choked, trying not to cry. Men didn’t cry, especially fathers, especially over a stupid, careless mistake. “I, uh, I’ve locked my keys in my truck.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” the operator told him, not unkindly. “That doesn’t count as an emergency. Please hang up and contact a tow-truck.”
“Wait!” Eddie mentally cursed as he let out a sob. “I have my son with me, and I don’t have any money to get home. He’s gonna need his bottle soon, and I don’t have any way to make it up, and he’s getting hot as it is, and-” and Eddie was pretty sure he wasn’t able to breathe.
“How old are you, Eddie?” The operator asked, more gently this time, and Eddie honest-to-God sniffled.
“19,” he admitted in a small voice, feeling more like 9.
“And how old’s your boy?”
“He’s five months,” Eddie rocked the pram to stop the child getting fussy. “But we think he’s sick. He’s having tests at the hospital. We were there all morning, and we stopped off at the store for groceries on the way home, and-”
“Which store are you at?” the operator asked, and Eddie could hear typing as he told her. “The fire department is on its way. Try and find somewhere shaded to wait, or wait back in the store.”
~
The operator stayed on the phone with him until she told him:
“Captain Nash has just informed me he’s 2 minutes out. I’ll leave you in his capable hands. Wait by the store-front so he can find you.” Almost as soon as she hung up, a fire-engine pulled into the supermarket car park and Eddie wheeled Christopher out, who woke with the commotion and started crying.
“Eddie?” the captain asked, holding his hand out to shake.
“Yessir.” Eddie struggled to rock the pushchair with one hand and shake with the other. One woman climbed out the fire engine and touched the captain on the elbow before going into the store – to use the bathroom, Eddie supposed.
“Call me Bobby,” the captain insisted, just as Christopher gave an ear-splitting shriek, clearly unhappy about being ignored. Instead of getting annoyed, Bobby just poked his head inside the sunshade to see the bright red baby with angry little fists. “Who’s this, then?” he cooed – honestly cooed – and Christopher froze, his little lips still turned firmly down.
“Cap, the car?” Another firefighter asked, not impatiently. Bobby ignored him.
“This is Christopher,” Eddie explained, freeing Christopher from the straps holding him in place and scooping him into his arms, against his shoulder. Eddie’s hand cradled the back of Christopher’s head out of habit, his fingers in the baby’s hair, which was just starting to grow long enough for curls. “He’s five months.” He jiggled slightly as Christopher started to fuss again.
“Can I take him?” Bobby asked, so unexpectedly Eddie found himself handing over his precious child with no comments. Bobby held Christopher to his shoulder, mimicking how Eddie had done so, so well he even supported the child’s head. “Go with Chim, he’ll help you with your car. I’ve got this little guy.”
Eddie cried when Chimney jimmied the window to get to Eddie’s car keys. Honest-to-God stood and openly wept. His father would find out about this, he knew, and would mock him at best, but Eddie couldn’t help it. Chimney, to give him his due, didn’t bat an eyelid.
“Don’t worry about it, kid,” He insisted, as Eddie thanked him for a seventh time, desperately trying to get his tears under control. “Let’s get you back to your boy.”
~
Eddie had always known he had a happy baby, but he still expected to get back to a fussy Christopher, wondering where Daddy was. Instead, the child was beaming in Bobby’s arms, cooing at those around him, and getting his fingers – gooey from being chewed on – all over the pre-loved EPFD baseball cap someone had balanced on his head. Covering most of his chest, someone had stuck a “Future EPFD Firefighter” sticker to his onesie.
“This is one of our hoses,” Bobby was explaining to the baby, who stared at him in wide-eyed awe, his fingers curled against Bobby’s epaulette. “You put it away with a loop to make for a faster carry.” Christopher gurgled and Bobby nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s not strictly regulation, but it’s useful.” Christopher patted Bobby’s cheek, and he nodded again. “Yeah, Chief, you’re right. I’ll get that sorted.” Christopher spotted something and squealed. Eddie thought he’d been seen, but the lady Eddie had seen earlier was approaching.
“They let me use the staff canteen,” she wriggled something at Bobby and handed a paper bag of groceries to Chim.
“Here you go, Firefighter Christopher,” Bobby grinned down at the baby, who beamed back. “Let’s see what Aunty Hen has for you.” He handed the child to the lady who took him, held him on her hip with a practiced ease, and offered him a bottle that, Eddie suddenly realized, he hadn’t brought with him. Christopher drank greedily, like he had never been fed in his life, and the lady – Hen – rocked her hips back and forth to keep him entertained. Bobby then touched Eddie’s elbow to get his attention. “Eddie, can we talk?”
“Yessir,” Eddie’s heart sank. Here was the ‘responsible father’ talk he’d been expecting.
“Are you getting support at home?” Bobby asked softly, having led Eddie far away that they wouldn’t be overheard, but close enough that Eddie could see him child.
“Yessir.” Eddie may be a bad son and a bad father, but he was loyal. “My father works all around the state, but my mother watches Chris for me while I’m looking for work, and my sisters-”
“And Chris’s mother?” Bobby asked gently, and Eddie felt himself sag.
“Shannon never wanted kids,” He fought to keep his voice from trembling. “She didn’t even want to keep Chris, but-” He shrugged and gave a wry smile. “Y’know. Texas. And we couldn’t afford to go out of state, so she was going to give him up for adoption, but I held him to say goodbye, and I just couldn’t do it.”
“You’re a good man, Eddie,” Bobby guided Eddie back towards the group with an arm around his shoulder. It should have felt condescending. It felt kind. “You said you’re looking for work?”
“Yessir,” Eddie muttered, embarrassed. Unable to provide for his own child. Bobby nodded, understanding.
“Have you considered the fire academy?” He asked gently. “There are grants that cover the fees, it’s not a long programme-” He paused, surveying Eddie, clearly assessing him about something. “They’ll provide health insurance for you and Christopher when you graduate-” Eddie flushed red, wondering how Bobby had known he couldn’t afford it himself.
“But Chris-” He mumbled. His mother already didn’t believe he could provide for his own kid. He wasn’t about to ask her for help. He watched as Chimney opened a compartment in the fire engine and pulled out a teddy in little EPFD turnouts, which he handed to Christopher who instantly gnawed on a paw.
“You can go part-time,” Bobby offered. “It doesn’t take that much longer. I can make some phonecalls, get you on a course. You can spend your spare time with your son. Maybe you could do some odd jobs around the station, get the hang of the place. We’ll pay you, and the department offers childcare.” Eddie saw Hen raise an eyebrow, but was cut off from asking either about that or about why Bobby was helping him by Chim loudly proclaiming:
“You mean Buck!”
“Buck?” Eddie was confused.
“Cap’s stray puppy.” Hen explained, wiping drool from Christopher’s chin with her uniform sleeve. This answered none of Eddie’s questions.
“Bobby’s kid just got a childcare diploma,” Chimney explained, making Bobby roll his eyes with a good-natured laugh.
“He’s not my kid,” He said, in a voice that suggested it wasn’t the first – or even the 10th – time they’d had this discussion.
“He’s just always at the station.” Hen grinned.
“Eating our food.” Chim snapped his gum.
“Sleeping in our bunks,” Hen pointed out.
“Getting under our feet when he’s bored.”
“Begging for attention.”
“Or a scratch behind the ears.”
“Cuddling close on the sofa.”
“Desperate for Daddy’s approval.”
“OK, guys,” Bobby held his hand up and they both fell silent. “That’s enough. Eddie, you and Christopher are welcome at the station any time. Think about what I said.”
~
A week later – a week of Eddie’s mother berating him for not having a job, for not caring for his sisters, for Christopher’s sleep-regression waking her in the night (“You’re not getting him to sleep, Eddie. Is he too hot? Are you feeding him right? That ridiculous fireman teddy is scaring him; why did you get it for him?”) – Eddie parked his car on the street outside the fire station and hefted his child’s car seat onto one elbow, his changing bag over his other shoulder.
“There’s my favourite future firefighter!” Hen cried from the mezzanine, before bounding down the stairs to peer excitedly into the car seat. Eddie laughed, setting it down and scooping his son up to hand him over. Christopher beamed, despite his firefighter teddy’s paw still in his mouth, as it had been permanently since he’d been given it. With his spare hand he reached up to touch her face and she leaned down to make it easier to reach.
“Hey, Little Man,” Chim appeared, also smiling down at the child. “Nice outfit.” Eddie felt his chest puff with pride at that – he’d found the fire engine onesie at Goodwill yesterday and known it would be perfect.
“Hey Eddie,” Bobby appeared at the mezzanine balcony, apron on. “Come on up. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Eddie glanced at Christopher, saw he was perfectly happy in Hen’s arms, and headed upstairs.
“Hi Bobby.” He shook the offered hand.
“How are you doing, kid?” Bobby smiled, before stepping aside and motioning to the man sitting at the table, and all Eddie could do was stare. The light pouring through the windows highlighted his dirty-blond hair. The cut-off sleeves of his white tank-top showed off rippling muscles, and as he stood to shake Eddie’s hand, his miles of legs were shown off with ripped jeans, his eyes flashed blue, and Eddie caught sighed of a simple planet tattoo on the side of his wrist, with pink, purple and blue lines as rings around it. “This is Buck.” Eddie shook his hand in a daze. “Buck, this is Eddie who I told you about.” Eddie had a brief moment where his brain co-operated long enough to think This guy knows about me?, but then promptly shut down again as Buck flashed him a sunshine smile to rival Christopher’s.
“Yeah, Bobby was telling me about you guys!” He beamed, and it took Eddie a minute to realise ‘you guys’ included him – usually he was just seen as a dad to Christopher, but Buck seemed excited to meet him, too. “Thanks for giving me a chance.”
“Giving you a chance?” Eddie asked, dumbfounded. Buck’s hand was soft under his fingers, and he suddenly realised he was still grasping it. He dropped it and tried not to notice Buck’s disappointed look.
“Yeah,” He nodded, but his bouncy, fun demeanour seemed unaffected. “I’m between jobs right now, and Bobby said-” he trailed off and glanced at the older man. “…Right?”
“Right,” Bobby nodded encouragingly, in a not-dissimilar way Eddie did to his sisters when they were feeling uncertain. Eddie saw Hen and Chim’s point.
“Well, Christopher’s downstairs,” Eddie smiled, hoping to spare Buck from feeling like he had to pitch himself. “You’re welcome to go and meet him, but you’ll have to fight the others. And, uh-” He shuffled awkwardly. “It’ll be you helping me out.”
“I just love kids,” Buck beamed and Eddie would have given him the world (he was giving him Christopher, his brain supplied, and that was more-or-less the same thing).
“Come,” Eddie smiled and jerked his head towards the stairs. “I’ll introduce you.”
~
If Buck had been attractive before, Eddie didn’t know what hit him when Hen allowed him to cradle the child against his chest. Christopher stared into his face in wide-eyed fascination as Buck formally introduced himself, including shaking his tiny little hand. He nodded seriously as Christopher gurgled and gave earnest answered as Christopher cooed.
“So it’s a yes?” Bobby asked softly, watching Buck ease the bear out of Christopher’s mouth for the first time all day – and introduce himself to the bear as well.
“Yeah.” Eddie breathed, watching Christopher suck his thumb as his eyes drifted closed.
~
They easily established a routine. On days when Eddie attended the fire academy, he would drop Christopher at Buck’s place with enough time for a handover. When Eddie had weekdays off from the academy he would do odd jobs around the station whilst Buck entertained Christopher, or put him down for a nap in his travel cot in the bunk room.
Sometimes when Eddie collected Christopher from Buck’s, he was too tired to do anything but thank his friend and take his child home. More often than not, Eddie would come in for a beer and they would talk.
~
It took three months for Eddie to kiss Buck for the first time.
Eddie had had a long day at the fire academy, but it had been amazing. They had been in their turnouts and hefting heavy equipment, and that was Eddie’s favourite kind of training. He was hot and sweaty and his muscles ached, and he was happy.
Buck had answered the door, not in his customary ripped jeans and tank top, but in chinos and a collared shirt. His feet were bare and his curls damp from the shower. Eddie let Buck lead him not into the living room, but the small kitchen, where there was a pizza and garlic bread waiting for him. Christopher was in his highchair, not in the clothes Eddie had dropped him off in, but in a shirt and waistcoat. He babbled excited as he saw Eddie, who scooped him up into his arms, before stopping and staring.
Christopher was sitting under a homemade banner which read HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY in Buck’s rough-and-ready handwriting, and was decorated in adult and baby handprints. On the table with the takeout there were some badly wrapped presents and an obviously homemade chocolate cake, with an E piped on top in red.
“We got a bit chocolatey.” Buck admitted, apparently feeling the need to explain the change of clothes. “And, uh, painty. But Chris wanted to help celebrate his Daddy, and you know I can’t say no to him when he looks so cute, so-” Despite the baby on his hip, Eddie surged forward to press his lips to Buck’s, and Buck held it.
“Thank you.” Eddie breathed, not moving away, and Buck pressed a kiss to his lip in return.
“Happy birthday, Eddie.”