Work Text:
He couldn't believe his luck. Disposed into a scouting job— what a stupid chore. He could have been doing whatever else he wanted, like jumping off cliffs, or other things that he actually preferred. But no, because apparently the Dragonets of Destiny finally decided to show themselves, and promptly attempted to assassinate their queen. And they roped him into this conflict? Did they not know that he had caught a nasty cold some weeks earlier? After a rabid fox had nibbled a bit off his wing? And that he was planning to meet up with a friend? This was truly and unacceptably cruel, and the best he could do was be angry at it.
But even then, knowing his job, he very “eagerly” lowered his head to “vigilantly” scout the shore. Looking to the left, he was surprised to see trees. Stunned by the sight, he “wondered if there were any more trees to his right side, so he “eagerly” rolled his head to the other side. And to his “utter surprise”, he saw what could only be described as the open ocean. Speaking of the ocean, he heard that salt water actually works better than the lake water he had been drinking for his whole life. It was something about “asbestos” or something of that sort. The mere thought of it made his throat sting with a horrible thirst and a horrendous case of the flu. He paused mid-flight to assess the landing, trying to see if he could crash land without hitting anything, since he felt like trash anyway. While he lazily stared at the ground, his sleepiness prompted him to release a big, loud yawn. As he opened his mouth to enact his fatigue, some big, stupid, dragon-like object rammed into him.
He coughed out a puff of sickly smoke and clutched his midsection trying to keep his guts from leaking out of his eyes. He was shocked to the core, more than he anticipated from his work.
His eyes caught the unholy sight of a hideous dragon, eyes red from rage and mouth foaming with rabid demeanor.
It was a monster!!! What the fuck!!!!! Loaded with adrenaline, he did his best to thrash at the abomination of nature, clawing and biting the fastest he could— which was not very good, since he was sick, after all.
It was slowly but surely dragging him into the ocean, evidently trying to drown him. His eyes caught another glimpse of the fiend, and it horrified him much more than he had already been.
It was a fucking SeaWing!!!!!!!
In his newfound terror, he immediately tried to escape upwards. He beat his wings as hard as he could— which was not much, after all, he could never forget his sickness!
All his ears could hear in the moment was the sound of his underwater struggle against a horrible mutant inside of an intense whirlwind. The salty water was already starting to stifle his breathing— which was not very good even in the sky, due to y’know, his *cough* y’know.
It even started to flood into every hole in his face, stinging his eyes and jamming his hearing.
He desperately attempted to blast the abomination in the face, but each of his desperate shots kept on missing.
As he struggled more and more, he could feel himself slowly gaining height. Furiously pushing against the aberration, he started to free himself from its grasp. But as he was thinking that he was going to win, he monstrosity’s ugly head suddenly latched itself to his tail, viciously digging into his own superior flesh.
The sudden pain rushed to his entire body, weakening his stance, and effectively paralyzing him. In his trance, he fired another shot at the crackbrain, which he successfully landed.
Fried fish, he thought as the smell of fried SeaWing wafted about.
Despite that, it only sank its jaws deeper, causing him an insurmountable amount of suffering. This oddity of nature was trying to do its best to kill him violently, and drag his pieces to feed its probably equally as ugly offspring. He was already struggling to defend himself, and this only made him start to fear for his death. Maybe he could have prevented this fate by running off, before anyone could even think of assigning him to scouting duty. Or he could have gone to the Rainforest, to smuggle chocolates instead— which he has never once done. But he did neither, and now has to pay for his insolence with death.
But, suddenly, again, miraculously, another figure shoved itself between him and his terrifying attacker, one that looked even scarier, with teeth ferociously begging for his flesh.
It was a fucking MudWing!!!!!!!
And terrifyingly enough, it firmly gripped his shoulders and started to thrust him back down into the dark sea.
Now both of the atrocities were out for his blood, working together to convert his life into death at a rate that would be maximally terrifying for him. His fire couldn’t help himself either, as the mud monstrosity seemed to be impervious to it. And with his last breath, the last thing he could see was their horrifying faces getting dark, darker, and yet darker as he sank below the depths.
…
But suddenly—! He felt his life being taken back from the sky and being put back into him! The waters of the dark sea being expelled from his breathing organs! Had they decided to bring him back?! To eat him alive?! This was outrageous and stupid!
They seriously could not let me be dead? That is so lame. What kind of cannibal does that to their victims? I am pretty sure that drains the flavor!
Obviously they were idiots. One of them couldn’t even wait for him to die before eating him. Maybe they were not murderous cannibals after all, just stupid ones.
As he was waking up from his unconscious state, he started to hear them talk…
“Oh, …erful. Ou…my will survive. We…one. We have to … here,” One of the cannibals said. It took a step back and glanced at the sky where his own cohorts had disappeared— they probably left him here to die! “So w…at do we do…now, O …r?”
They argued for what felt like a fortnight. He felt his own saltwater-coated body starting to simmer under the sun, which was probably one of the ways to cook him for later consumption! He started to think that maybe they were not just cannibals, but also perpetrators! He started to feel so bad for himself that he started to weep, but there were no tears since he was too parched, anyway.
The mud monstrosity charged up the beach behind him, with the main perpetrator still remaining beside him. He could barely see what was happening since his vision still had not cleared perfectly after his harrowing near-death experience.
The small, innocent-looking cannibal seemed to communicate to the big, hideous, blue perpetrator, which seemed to join the mud monstrosity in their strange cannibal ritual which seemed to involve trees, for some reason.
His eyes were still blinking awake as they came back for him. He coughed and coughed again, lifting his head to peer groggily at the monsters that had cursed him with a horrible handicap.
“...tree help?” The blue perpetrator hissed.
“...top of him,” The dark beast aggressively shot back at the blue perpetrator. “...trapped…ea…t….”
Three moons, finally. They are going to eat me! What now? Are they at least going to kill me first? He impatiently thought, as they were still arguing. Of course, he did not listen closely because he was not an eavesdropper.
He felt vastly pained in his crooked stance, so he shifted himself slightly. However, the cannibals seemed to mistake this as an escape attempt, and out of nowhere, they brought forth a tree bigger than a whale and slammed it onto him!
Oh, by the grace of the moons! A blasted tree trunk?!?!?! I was just getting comfy!!!!!! He angrily thought to himself.
And even worse, the innocent one reached out to his own snout with its disgusting, crooked, crusty talons and touched his snout! What was going on?!??! This was the most bizarre thing that had ever happened to him in his life. He tried to recall all that had just happened just this moment.
I wanted to drink some good asbestos saltwater, got attacked and bitten by the blue perpetrator, got jumped by the mud monstrosity, got drowned, nearly died, got revived, and got crushed by a tree???? These are the most indecisive killers I have ever seen. He recalled.
And, wait. Now they looked like they were… leaving him? Alone? On a beach? UNDER A TREE????? nooo...
“Wait...” he rasped. His voice was raspy and deep. He wriggled, lashing his tail across the sand. “Do not leave me like this!”
The dark beast stepped into his line of sight and gazed down at him. “Remember, we could have killed you,” it said. “Remember that the dragonets of destiny were merciful. We want peace, not more death. We have come to save Pyrrhia.”
Dragonets of destiny? Who the hell do they think they are?! Was his last thought before they departed.
And so they left. Left him alone with only the cold ocean breeze to accompany him.
He was glad they left. The dark beast sounded like a huuuuuge nerd!!!!!!!!!