Work Text:
Carolyn had absolutely no idea where her husband was.
For all she knew, Pierre was at home, watching some kind of war movie with the volume cranked up. He could be at a bar in Rapids City, smoking and getting into fights. There was a high chance he was with Cordelia and Robert, getting high and cheating on her again. Maybe he was passed out in a random neighbor’s yard, and they’d try to contact her to bail him out of jail soon. She would be pissed at him for the rest of her life if that happened, because now was the one time she absolutely could not tend to him.
Carolyn whined and groaned as she gripped the rails of her hospital bed. She was almost glad that Pierre wasn’t around. She didn’t want him harassing people, berating her, or hurting someone. However, she did not want to be alone. Carolyn suddenly felt so alone. Her parents were dead, her friends had abandoned her, and her husband didn’t care that she needed help.
Carolyn put a hand under her stomach as the pain went away. Once her contraction had subsided, she looked up at the nurse who was monitoring her vitals. “Isn’t– Isn’t an epidural supposed to work a little better?”
The nurse frowned at her sympathetically. “They don’t work the same for everyone, I’m afraid. Besides, they don’t take away all the pain.”
Carolyn groaned, head falling back on the pillows. “Come on!” She wanted it over. She wanted to stop hurting so badly. She wanted to have someone by her side through this. She wanted to have her son in her arms so that she would never be alone again. Carolyn let out a sob, praying that her brother would be here soon.
“Do you want some–”
“No!” Carolyn said, refusing to let the older woman finish. She glared at the nurse with teary eyes. “Unless you can make my only support person walk through that door in the next few seconds, I don’t want anything from anyone.”
The nurse sighed and walked around to the other side of her bed. “Mrs. Boucher, if I could, I would. But I can’t just wave my finger, say ‘bippity-boppity-boo,’ and–”
As the nurse flourished her hand, the door opened suddenly. A tall man stood there, dark hair falling in his face. He broke into a smile when he saw Carolyn. “Carrie, holy shit, are you okay?”
“Jacques!” Carolyn sat up a little bit, starting to cry from relief when her big brother was next to her. The nurse stared at her hand for a moment, barely blinking. Carolyn laughed as she grabbed his hand. “Thank you thank you thank you!”
“You’re welcome?” the nurse muttered before she went back to what she’d been doing before.
Jacques brushed Carolyn’s bangs out of her face and hushed her. “Geez, Sis, you couldn’t have waited until your due date? I knew I was available that day,” he said with a light laugh.
“I tried to get him to wait a week. He’s somehow already learned your impatience,” Carolyn said. “What took you so lo– Ah, shit!”
Jacques caught her hand, feeling pretty confident that his hands were too thick for her to really damage. “I was in the middle of a conference when you messaged me. I left as soon as I saw. Then my car broke down, and I had to take the bus. And– Ahh, damn, you’ve got a grip.”
Carolyn whined, squeezing even harder. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be; you need this.”
After a moment, the contraction passed. Carolyn relaxed her hand and let go. She wiped her forehead, and her hand came off very slick. She groaned and shut her eyes, feeling exhausted and messy. Tears began to stream down her face as she tried to think about how she’d even begin to be a mother. She was functionally the care-taker of her fully grown and able-bodied husband. How was she supposed to manage Pierre and a baby?
A cold compress was pressed to her forehead. Carolyn glanced over to see Jacques holding it. He smiled at her warmly, and she suddenly appreciated more than anything that he had their father’s smile. Carolyn sobbed softly. How could she do this without her parents? She had so much to learn from them still, and she’d never get to.
“Shh,” Jacques whispered, glancing at the machines. “How long do you have?”
“She’s almost fully dilated,” the nurse offered. “Any minute now.”
“I can’t do this,” Carolyn said. “I’m going to be a terrible mother.”
“What makes you say that?” Jacques asked softly, reaching and taking her hand again. “You’re going to be a great mother. You were always such a good mother to your dolls growing up. Don’t you remember?” His smile was so warm, and Carolyn couldn’t resist the comfort it brought. “You’ve always been good with kittens and babies. You’re so gentle and trustworthy. I know you’ll take excellent care of him.”
“I– I was a terrible daughter,” Carolyn breathed out. “I was rude and rebellious and angry and– Maman and Papa died thinking I hated them! I don’t hate them. I miss them. I– I miss them so much.”
“I know,” Jacques whispered.
Carolyn continued to sob as another contraction started, and she gripped her brother’s hand like a vice. “I want Maman and Papa. I want– I want Susan! I want my friend back. I want to be okay again. I want her through this. I– I wanna raise our babies as friends. I don’t want Susan to hate me!”
“I know. I know, and I’m sorry,” Jacques said, grabbing the compress on her head and wiping at her cheeks as well. “Oh, Carrie…”
Carolyn moaned in pain as the contraction let up, but then she felt something shift. She sniffed and looked at the nurse, praying she wouldn’t say–
“It’s time.”
No.
The nurse darted out, and Jacques put a hand on the side of Carolyn’s face. When she turned to him, he pulled it back. “Carrie, Carolyn, Sis, listen to me. You can and you will do this.” Before she could object, he squeezed her hand again. “This will not be the same. You’ve grown up so much, and I hate to admit it, but you’re not my baby sister anymore. You’re a brave young woman who is going to be better for him. Do you understand me? I’m not telling you to. I’m reminding you that you will. You will, because he needs you to. Okay?”
Carolyn nodded weakly.
“Good. First step to being a good mother: have your baby. I’m pretty sure that’s in a book or something,” Jacques said. “I can’t tell you how to do that, so just… I dunno, see if you can break my hand.” Carolyn smiled in spite of herself. “If you break my hand, I’ll, like, buy you a car.”
“I’m literally undergoing the worst physical pain I could possibly feel, and you’re daring me to break your hand?!” Carolyn shouted. Jacques just chuckled a bit.
“Hey, if it cheers you up.”
“A free car absolutely would cheer me up,” Carolyn said. Just then, the doctor and nurse came back in.
“Alright, Mrs. Boucher, are you ready to do this?” the doctor asked, pulling on gloves.
Carolyn nodded, squeezing Jacques’ hand. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”
“With the next contraction, bear down with everything you have.”
___
The moment the screaming white bundle was placed in her arms, the tears switched from those of pain to those of pride. She stared down at him, and all she could feel was love and wonder. There, in her arms, was the pink, squishy, and vernix-covered living being that was her son.
The infant calmed down a bit, recognizing her. Wasn’t it absolutely incredible that a baby could recognize the feeling of its mother’s body without ever having been on the outside of it? She’d already removed her hospital gown, so her chest was exposed. Carolyn moved the bundle just a little bit, smiling down at him. Her baby moved a hand free, and she adjusted him as carefully as possible so they could have skin-on-skin contact. “Shh…” She took a deep breath, and it came back out in a soft sob. He whined but quickly calmed down.
Jacques sat a few feet away, glancing away to give his sister some privacy and let her have this moment to herself. She gently stroked the little bits of soft, dark hair on his soft non-cone-shaped head. His birth had been rather quick, which she was grateful for. The memory of the pain faded away, replaced by relief and love. How had she questioned whether she wanted to keep him seven months ago? Of course she did; her baby was perfect.
He reached a hand up, and Carolyn’s eyes sparkled. She knew infants had a strong reflex, and she couldn’t wait to test it out on her very own baby. As a young girl, she had thought it was the most lovely moment she could experience. She knew better now. It was just a reflex, nothing sentimental on the baby’s behalf. She help her finger up, lightly touching her chewed nail to his palm–
Oh, Dear Lord, she had been wrong.
Her eyes widened as she felt his hand squeeze around her finger. Oh. That was the feeling that movies tried to convey. It hit her all over again that that baby was alive and attached to her. He may not have felt anything with that reflex, but she sure as hell did. Carolyn sniffed again, cradling him with one hand on his back.
“Bonjour mon bébé. Je n'arrive pas à croire que je te vois en vrai…” She sniffed hard, and Jacques glanced at her. “Mon bébé…”
He was hers… She got to keep him. Forever.
“Je t'aime. Je t'aimerai toujours. Je suis ta maman. Et je te promets que je le serai toujours… Je t'aimerai toute ma vie. Et je ne te quitterai jamais…” Carolyn sniffed and gently kissed the top of his head. “Tant que je serai en vie, je te protégerai et prendrai soin de toi. Aucun mal ne te sera fait tant que je pourrai l'éviter.”
“That’s awfully poetic,” Jacques said. He turned a little bit to face her better. He focused on her face, not wanting to see anything a brother shouldn’t. “I doubt he understands it.”
The infant cooed, and Carolyn shook her head. “I think he does. As much as a fifteen-minute-old baby can.”
Jacques glanced at the baby, but he quickly averted his eyes. Carolyn rolled her eyes. “It’s fine. Just come over here and meet your nephew.”
“But–”
“Jacques, the very last thing I care about right now is whether you accidentally see me shirtless,” Carolyn insisted. “I want him to meet you before anyone else.”
Clearing his throat and steeling himself, Jacques came back over and sat in the chair beside the bed. His breath caught in his throat. “He’s tiny.”
“Yeah.”
“He’s yours.”
“Yep.”
“My little sister has a baby.”
“I do.”
“Oh my God…”
“Tell me about it.”
Jacques looked down at his only living family, and he suddenly started to cry himself. He could acknowledge that, objectively, they looked gross and messy. Carolyn was soaked in sweat, some blood, and birth fluids. She wasn’t bothering to act pretty as she cried over her precious baby, and her hair was a wild mess. Jacques pushed her hair back a bit, ignoring how much sweat came off on his hand. Ignoring the fact that she was currently topless, it was quite the precious sight. And his nephew… He sort of looked like a pink, wrinkly lump of raw dough with brown fuzz on his head. Also, despite having been cleaned off, he was still covered in something that looked like cheese. Jacques didn’t know what he expected a baby so fresh out of someone’s guts to look like, but that wasn’t it. However, Carolyn looked perfectly in love with him, cheese coating and all, so Jacques loved him too. He just prayed to God that the cheese stuff was normal and not a problematic condition, because what the fuck was that–
All other thoughts were silenced as the baby gurgled and opened his eyes. Jacques forgot all about how gross the scene was, suddenly feeling like he was four again, peeking into his mother’s arms and staring at the– at that point much cleaner and cuter– little baby that was his sister. He almost couldn’t tell apart the memories until his eyes flickered to his very much adult sister. “He has your eyes,” Jacques said, tears streaming down his face now. “Your exact eyes.”
“He does have my eyes…” Carolyn sniffed and looked up at her big brother. “And he has your name.”
Jacques froze, eyes flickering to the baby before he met Carolyn’s gaze again. “Are you serious?”
Carolyn smiled and rubbed her son’s back. “Jacques Noel Gruber, I want you to meet your baby nephew, Noel Jacques Boucher. Noel, this is your uncle Jacques. He’s my brother, best friend, and hero.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure?”
“Certain.”
“You don’t have to–”
“Please let me do it. I don’t want to name him after Pierre or any of his family,” Carolyn pleaded. “I want him to remind me of you instead.”
Jacques gave her a watery smile and kissed her forehead. “It’s the most handsome name in the world. He deserves it.”
Noel gurgled and cooed, unaware just what lied in store for him…