Work Text:
“Fix it.”
“No.”
“Matt.”
Matt just hums, raising an eyebrow around Alex’s direction.
“Matthew.”
Ooh, the government name, I’m shaking darlin’, practically trembling.”
“This isn’t funny.” He could hear Alex practically vibrating next to him, just over his shoulder, but this sandwich isn’t gonna make itself anytime soon.
“What’s supposed to be funny?”
“Don’t you even fucking dare.” Something hits Matt in the back of the head and it stings for five seconds, but then it stops, hitting the kitchen floor with a clatter.
Matt looks (because of course he does) probably his most masterful piece of work he’s ever engineered in the 10 years of knowing Alex. A pair of glasses, cleverly locked in between a padlock.
“Oh, that.” Matt just shrugs nonchalantly before going back to spread pesto on the bread in front of him.
“Fucking fix it, asshole.”
“Sorry, can’t. Don’t have the keys.”
“What?!” There’s a rather indignant walk this time and Matt can’t help but smirk, turning back to lean against the kitchen counter and grin at Alex’s palpable outrage.
“I don’t have the keys. Simple.”
“But-“ Alex splutters, looking completely like he’s about to go off the edge, frustration bleeding out of every single pore that Matt can get his eyes on. “ I can’t see!”
“Really?” Matt’s voice takes on a tone that is reminiscent of sympathy but otherwise it is completely not sympathetic at all. “-and that is a bad thing because?”
“I need to get work done, man!” Alex protests half-heartedly, but Matt can see right through him.
“No-“ Matt pushes himself up, towering over Alex, but not daring to touch as he knows he will just get slapped away. “You need to sleep.”
“I told you I’m fine!”
“-and I told you, I don’t care.” Matt just looks him up and down. “I don’t know what kind of fucking Energiser bunny level shit that you think snort, but you need to go to sleep at some point today. You literally just got back from a European world tour and you still haven’t slept.”
“You literally locked my glasses in a padlock because I wouldn’t fucking go to bed?!”
“Can’t work if you can’t see and if you can’t see, you don’t need to be awake.” Matt simply says.
“This is bullshit.” Alex grumbles. “I’m being held hostage.”
“You’re not being held hostage - dramatic, much?” Matt has to roll his eyes then. Trust Alex to make something out of practically nothing.
“Well, my music is.” Alex whines indignantly.
“Alex, the music will still be there when you get back to it, just close your goddamn eyes for five minutes.”
“I don’t wanna.”
“Then your glasses stay in padlock jail.”
“Why must my glasses suffer for your crimes?”
“I think you’ll find, Alexander, that this crime is completely self-inflicted.”
“Pulling out my government name now, dude? Harsh.”
“Oh, for God’s sake-“ Matt knows he has no choice. Putting the knife down, he quickly traps Alex by the chest, his arms encircling the latter’s arms and lifts him up off of the ground, Alex’s legs flailing.
“What the hell? Matt!” Alex is doing his best to fight him off but in all honesty, Alex is that fucking tired that Matt can tell that he’s not exactly putting 100% of his strength into wiggling out of Matt’s arms like a mediocre worm.
He somehow manages to drag them both up to his bedroom and then, because he’s left with no other choice, he quickly and efficiently suplexes Alex onto the mattress and sinks down on top of him. ”Sleep.”
“You can’t just make me go to sleep by using your fucking noodle limbed ass as a weighted blanket.”
Matt just spreads himself starfish so that Alex has nowhere to go. “Bet.”
“I have rights, Matt!”
“Nice try, snowflake citizen.” Matt’s voice is right against his ear, hair moving as he speaks. “The only rights you have is the right to start snoring in five minutes or otherwise.”
“What are you, the sleep police?”
“Wewo wewo.”
“Ew. That’s even worse than the horse noises.”
“Don’t judge my siren making skills.” Matt snuggles in closer, pressing his chest against Alex’s back just that little more forcefully. “Go to sleep.”
“I can’t go to sleep with you breathing in my ear like that.”
“You have before.”
“That was different. We were sharing a hotel room. You kissed me on the forehead.”
“Well, you could’ve just asked.” Matt lands one on Alex’s temple, grinning as he feels Alex groan under him.
“That was not my forehead.”
“Kiss goodnight all the same.”
“Your lunch is going rotten.”
“Oh, so it’s gonna match your attitude? Cool.”
“Matt!” Alex gave another violent wiggle, but Matt held steady, turning them over, but keeping the smaller man in his clutches, Alex’s arms pinned to his sides and Matt’s leg wrapped around both of Alex’s knees, clamped.
“You’re not getting out of this.”
“Watch me.” Alex glares.
Matt just sighs, dropping his voice several octaves. “Alex. Stop being a brat.”
“But-“ Alex protests again and Matt sighs, deploying one last tactic and pulling Alex close to him, head on Matt’s chest and hand trailing from Alex’s head down his back, smiling to himself as Alex lets out something almost sounding like a purr, watching the brunette’s eyes flutter and close. “Sleep.”
“I’m not gonna-“ Alex yawns.
“Uh-huh.” Matt smirks, fingers trailing paths through Alex’s upper back muscles, Alex practically sinking into the touch as he does so, hands coming up to bunch Matt’s button up into a screwed up mess. “Sleep.”
“Hate you.” Alex exhales softly, but his jaw slackens straight after and Matt just chuckles before he kisses Alex on his temple again, listening as the man starts to snore, grip loosening enough so Matt can slip away.
He doesn’t see Alex for a solid 5 hours.
Matt claims it as a win.