Archive of Our Own

It all started with that camera in '95. A camera, an abandoned wooden cabin, a private beach, a log and a beautiful sunset. And Swann lived through her camera lens.   

A raspy cough echoed throughout the woodlands, but not enough to overpower the booming radio blasting a Bikini Kill song that the girls had put on repeat all summer, thanks to Kat. 

"And... done!" Swann grinned with pride and satisfaction as she rapidly pressed stop on her camcorder. 

Swiftly, she spun on her tippy toes like a ballerina would to focus the camera onto Kat again for probably the tenth time that day. But Kat was unfazed and nonchalant around the camera and accepting of Swann, letting her do whatever, and Swann was grateful for that. 

"Awesome." Kat approved, briefly locking eyes with Swann's own. 

Kat was casually chilling beside the roaring flames of the bonfire in which the girls had put together only an hour before. It was safe to say the girls had mastered the art of lighting bonfires that summer with all the logs they'd lit.

Long wicks of golden flames licked at the logs which crackled satisfyingly in response like music to Swann's ears. The golden hue of yellows and oranges and red flames matched Swann's own ginger hair.

Swann was quickly distracted from her thoughts as Kat covered her petite hand over her mouth which engulfed her little face, muffling continuous coughing sounds. 

Swann didn't realise how cracked and dry her lips had become until they'd parted. She took a quick breath as though she were about to speak, but finally hesitated on questioning Kat. 

After a few moments of nothing but the blasting of Bikini Kill, the fire crackling and the birds melodically singing their last evening song before the darkness consumed them, Kat appeared to recover fast, because she was suddenly back to smiling brightly at Swann in her own silent communicative and chill way. In her usual bold and blue overalls, she stretched her legs out in front of her and laid her arms to rest behind her, palms resting upon the sand as though she was sunbathing, even though night would soon be approaching.

Swann passed by Kat and towards the gentle movement of the shore's silent waves. There was no harsh crashing or aggressive collision of overlapping water, just peaceful movements of stillness and flow as the water passed Swann in no hurry.

Swann wished time would pass by this slowly too, so the summer of '95 would never have to end, and she wouldn't be starting her new life in Canada. If it was only that easy, to have the sun stay a little longer before the darkness would inevitably take over... 

Swann raised the camcorder to her eye and zoomed in on the screen to gain a closer view of the sun, which was visibly displayed over the shore. However, the clouds were heavy with dark and light shades of grey with flecks of bright light peeking through the sides. The sun was clearly there, just blocked, threatened by the clouds' wrath, or maybe a protective shield. Swann groaned and her shoulders slumped forwards.

"If only I could get those clouds to move!" Swann sighed, gesturing with her hands wildly at the clouds like she'd form some kind of magical superpower that would swipe the clouds to the side and expose the sun. For a moment, she wished she'd asked the abyss for this wish instead. "Come on out, sun! Stop hiding! You know you're too pretty to hide!"

Behind Swann was a deep chuckle. "Dude, the sun will come down. Just give it a minute. Let nature do its thing." Kat reassured her.

Kat's blue ocean eyes twinkled with amusement, and Swann noticed how Kat's eyes appeared to glow more from the reflection of the flames. Her eyes mirrored the active image of the fire before her, flames in which intertwined as one, fighting. Beautiful, but dangerous, deadly and silently raging.

Like... Kat? Swann wondered if that was what it was like in Kat's mind too, with her rebellious mind and spirit.

"Yeah..." Swann exhaled and impatiently joined Kat's side on the sand directly in front of the fire.  

However, Swann's mood and frown quickly transformed into a grin as she lifted her camcorder instinctively once again, eyeing a small grey squirrel perched upon a large rock in the woodlands beside them. The squirrel's tiny head flicked anxiously side to side as it observed its surroundings and appeared to be watching them.

"Hey, buddy!" Swann cheerfully called in a high pitched, sing-song tone. "You're here to watch the sunset? Me too! And... Kat! Ta-da!" Swann announced dramatically with pride as she zoomed in up close to Kat's face, so close that she could count the tiny freckles upon her milky skin and her individual dark lashes. 

Swann stopped for a moment to observe her. Kat was just... a light. She shone, not in a way like Nora dominated the camera with confident and bold moves, but a strong, resilient and silent type. Swann bit her lip. Kat looked like an angel. And her blonde hair, her bangs on her forehead was like her halo.

"You're adorable, you know that?" Kat announced, just as Swann hit the record button. Swann jumped a little with surprise, nearly dropping the camera as her heart skipped a beat.

"Uhh... what? You're more... adorable..." Swann swallowed the invisible lump that had somehow formed in her throat. 

Kat's pink lips upturned into a soft, effortless smile and chuckled as Swann suddenly felt as though her cheeks were on fire, literally. God, she hoped she didn't look too red for Kat to notice. Oh, well. At least she could blame it on the fire this time.

But what Swann really wanted to say was... Kat was angelic.

"Not as adorable as you, Swann." Kat said simply. 

Woah... How did she do that? She didn't even need to think or stumble over her own words like Swann did...

 Swann bashfully tucked a few strands of short ginger locks behind her ear. 

Kat broke eye contact first and appeared to be suddenly interested in the sand beneath her.  "Hey, where are Nora and Autumn at?"  

"I don't know. They should be here by now... Maybe they got eaten by... a bear?" Swann giggled but cringed internally at herself, crinkling her nose up and squinting her eyes. But Kat never made fun of her, even for making the dumbest comments known to mankind. She just chuckled at Swann with a glint in her eye and the shake of a head. 

"Ooh-ooh! Look! The sun!" Swann squealed, tapping Kat's shoulder lightly with her fingertips. Kat followed and twisted her body to look.

And sure enough, the sun was there. Giant, round and beautiful like a perfectly shaped egg yolk low in the sky and far away from the clouds which still hung high. Shades of pink, blues and yellows formed in the sky around them even though the beach was beginning to darken, the bonfire being the main source of light there. Swann leaped to her feet and the last thing she heard was a rapid gasp.

"Watch out-"

But the damage was done.

Swann cried out in agony which reverberated the environment as her right foot collided with the log at the campfire the girls used to rest upon. She felt the right side of her ankle turn underneath her and an immediate scorching burning sensation. The camera slipped from her sweaty fingers like butter. She landed inelegantly like a heap of disposed garbage across the sand. Her skin began sinking through the surface into the depths like silk, the sand consuming her whole body with famine like the abyss had swallowed her offering.

"Shit!" Kat murmured raspily under her breath, dropping to her knees. "That was one hell of a fall, dude! You okay?" Kat asked as she gently eased and guided Swann into a seated position, who was releasing tiny whimpers and breathing heavily through her nose. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ok. Geez-o! This is so embarrassing..." Swann covered her face with her hands.

"Hey, It happens. We’re not… immortal.” Kat reassured her calmly.

But Swann was instantly distracted like she'd been hit with lightning. Her emerald eyes grew wide and her heart raced, pounding in her chest as she scanned the shore, searching over Kat's shoulder. She ignored the striking surge of pain pulsing through her ankle.  

"My camera! Where's my camera?! Oh god, I can see it! The shore -  I - I can't just let it slip away!" 

Kat chuckled, shaking her head with disbelief as she observed the girl. "Oh my god, Swann! Seriously?"

“Huh?!" 

"Dude, you tripped and fell and you're more worried about your camera?"

"Kat!" Swann protested. 

“Stay there. I'll go rescue your camera." Kat calmly strolled towards the camera as casual as ever. 

And there it was. The camera laid by the shore's edge, smothered in sand and drizzled with dirt but no water had touched it at least. 

"See? It's all good." Kat smiled as she approached Swann, waving it carefully within her fingers. "A little dirty but... nothing you can't handle."

“Kat! You're like a knight in shining armour!" Swann giggled, relief settling the anxiety in her stomach. 

Kat tickled the back of her neck, elbow stretched out as she looked down at her bare feet that had sunken into the sand."Yeah... I wouldn't go that far." She straightened up almost instantly before kneeling before Swann again. "Hey, Swann. You know, cameras are replaceable. But you're not. And I'd totally buy you a new camera with Corey's pay-check from the ranch, it's my dad's money anyway. He doesn't deserve it."

"Aw, thanks, Kat! You're the best." Swann beamed from ear to ear. "It's just - I can't lose the footage of you guys and our music video! It's been... The best. Summer. Ever."

Swann sighed deeply, eyes dreamy and cloudy. "I never want it to end. I... I wish... I could stay here with you... forever." She stumbled out.

"Yeah." Kat agreed.

But her soft angelic features hardened her eyes fiery, darkening, reflecting her internal wrath as she frowned deeply, small creases appearing on her forehead. And in that moment she was a fallen angel with clipped wings. 

Kat chuckled darkly. But Swann wasn't afraid. She was intrigued, entranced, hypnotised by this girl.

"Me too." Kat continued, pulling Swann out of her thoughts. "Away from Corey, away from the ranch. Fuck 'em. I'd never have to sneak out again. I'd make my own rules."

“What about Gertie?" Swann whispered.

"Duh, Gertie would be here with us! Not locked in a cage, but free, roaming around like the others!"

“Yes! And ooh-ooh! Shadow and Twiglet can come too!"

"Fuck yeah." Kat grinned. "All of the deer will be free. You'll see. We'll be free, Swann. To do whatever the fuck we want. Together. Corey will never hurt you again. I promise."

Swann swore a whole other dimension of butterflies, maybe from the abyss had entered her stomach and flown around and warmed her. "Uh... What about Nora and Autumn?"

"Nora will become famous, and Autumn... she'll totally become like one of those strict moms or something!" Kat smirked.

"Yeah I could see that..." Swann agreed with a loud laugh. But then she was pulled back to reality. She glanced down at her ankle. "Ummm, Kat? So... My foot is really hurting..." She admitted.

Swann stretched, reaching towards her ankle with trembling fingers, covered in sand. She took a deep breath and slowly lowered her purple socks that had cute little duck stitches on.

“Lemme help? If you want me to, that is." Kat asked hesitantly, eyes darting towards Swann then the ankle, her palms resting firmly upon her knees as though ready for action.

"Go... ahead." Swann nodded and swallowed, her vision of the girl in front of her blurring as tears formed in her eyes. She blinked repeatedly to prevent them from falling too far down her face. 

Kat took extra care to protect the ankle from being moved around too much as she observed it closely. Delicately, she brushed her light as a feather fingertips against Swann's ankle, causing Swann to shiver and whimper in response as the sock was slowly but surely removed. 

“Sorry..." Kat whispered. 

The girls locked eyes for a moment, silent and observing one another until Kat shook herself out of it and got back to work.

"I guess you got lucky." She finally announced as Swan sighed in relief. "Honestly? It doesn't look bad, but we'll see when you walk. It's a good thing you won't be going anywhere tonight, huh?" 

"Yeah, thanks..." Swann exhaled through quick breaths of pain.  

"Let's get back to the cabin. Did Autumn leave her first aid kit hanging around?"

"Yeah... I think I saw it." Swann turned her head to gaze into the sky, but the sun had already gone down.

"You're more important, Swann." Kat murmured, carefully guiding Swann's arm over the shoulder of her tiny frame.

And so, the girls ambled back through the woodlands as the night began to close in around them and the sounds of birds silenced to a halt, with only the bright colours of the  abyss and the bonfire raging on to protect them from the night. But the real monster was nowhere in sight.