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Dean was well aware that Chuck’s books had a fanbase. On way more occasions than he was comfortable with, he had to face the reality that the former creator of existence was also a bestselling author who used their lives as creative fodder. With the world truly granted free will, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that the internet exploded when some Hollywood executive bought the film rights to Chuck’s books. Dean walked into the kitchen of the bunker ready for some coffee and pancakes, and Sam was already set up on his iPad at the kitchen table with a weird look on his face.
“Got a case?” Dean asked.
“No,” Sam answered cryptically. “It’s uh… something weird.”
The older hunter poured himself a cup of joe. “Our brand of weird?”
“You might wanna come see for yourself.”
Dean didn’t know whether to be scared or suspicious of his little brother. He sat down next to Sam and looked at whatever the hell had him spooked. The first thing that popped out to him was a picture of one of Chuck’s book covers next to a picture of some young actor Dean didn’t recognize. Then it was obvious what exactly stunned Sammy into his weird mood just from the title of the article from Entertainment Tonight .
THE WAYWARD WINCHESTERS CARRY ON… TO HOLLYWOOD!
Sam and Dean Winchester to Appear on the Big Screen on October 13th, 2022 in their own Film Franchise
Dean nearly choked on his coffee. “They’re makin’ a movie about us!?”
“Yeah… but that’s not all.”
“What the hell else is there?”
“Scroll down.”
He scrolled down and his stomach dropped when he saw that stupid combination of his and Cas’ names that haunted him for weeks after he first heard it.
A controversial choice for the writer’s room is Hannah Zeibert, who became a Writer’s Guild member specifically for the project. The franchise already has a 4 film deal with Warner Brothers, and Zeibert was reportedly chosen because of her past as a fanfiction writer specializing in Destiel (Dean/Castiel) stories. This leads to speculation about a possible storyline in the fourth Supernatural film where Dean and Castiel’s relationship is explored on a romantic level, as the fourth book was when Castiel was first introduced as a character.
Dean was dangerously close to smashing the damn tablet against the wall. It had been a year since Jack took over as God, and with it, he brought Cas back. They still hadn’t talked about – everything Cas said before the Empty took him. And what was worse was that the angel didn’t push the topic at all. He knew that unless Dean brought it up, they wouldn’t get anywhere productive with the conversation. It was a fucked up situation, Dean knew, he just didn’t want to ruin what they had now. Cas was back for good, and Dean wanted to keep it that way without scaring the angel off. He would never admit that there wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t remember the angel’s dying words.
“Dean?” Sam asked. “You okay?”
He shoved the iPad into Sam’s hands. “Just peachy.”
“You sure?”
“Do we know if Chuck is involved with this?”
Sam’s bitchface proved how over Dean’s shit he was. “I sent Cas out to check. He should be back later today.”
“Good.” Dean downed the rest of his coffee. “You find anything, I’ll be in the shooting range.”
He fled before Sam could pull him into the mess further.
***
Sam held the thick book in his hands, which had magically appeared on the table in the library just a few minutes ago. He hadn’t expected anything, really, Dean was just so damn stubborn that Sam wanted some kind of insight into what happened a year ago. Drunk or sober, his brother refused to talk about what happened that made Cas walk on eggshells since he came back — hell, Dean did too. It was like they both didn’t want to ruin whatever friendship was left, and it was a weird stalemate over something Sam had no idea about.
Even so, he didn’t expect Jack to actually fulfill his request about finishing Chuck’s book. There were two pseudonyms on the cover and an illustration of the sigil Cas put on the door to the dungeon. Sam was nervous as he opened the book and inside was a note in Jack’s handwriting.
Chapter 18
He turned to chapter 18 and started reading. It was just as uncomfortable to read about himself and his friends as it was when they first discovered Chuck’s books. That day had been the one to nearly break Sam, and it broke Dean in a way nothing had before. And soon, Sam knew exactly what had broken his brother. Castiel’s entire speech, it came from the heart and he smiled despite being truly happy being a death sentence. Sam almost cried imagining how devastated Dean must have felt to have what he’d always wanted, only for it to be taken away like it was nothing. He wasn’t an idiot, he’d known that Dean was in love with Cas just by watching the two together over the years. But the fact that Cas used it to save Dean again, it explained so much.
As tears ran down the hunter’s cheeks, he found himself frozen in the spot Castiel had left him. Damn Billie, damn Chuck, damn The Empty, and damn Cas for saying all of that without giving Dean a chance to say anything back. Sobs wracked his body on the cold, empty floor of the dungeon. He lost, the worst loss Dean could remember having since John died, since the first time Sam died, since Bobby died, since Mary died on November 2nd, 1983. He was doomed to lose and lose and lose, and he couldn’t take it anymore. Castiel was the last thing that kept him grounded and sane in the insanity of his life. He had always been there, always loyal, always in love but never said a fucking thing.
“I love you,” Dean whimpered between sobs. “Dammit, Cas, I love you – you too, you stupid son of a bitch!”
The door to the bunker opened to announce Cas’ return from California. Sam quickly hid the book under a pile of papers he’d been sorting through when he’d called Jack. Cas came into the library with a shopping bag for the local Gas ‘n Sip.
“Find anything?” Sam asked.
“Chuck is not involved anywhere in the production of the film beyond the books,” Castiel answered. “A few hunters have decided to keep an eye on it using aliases to work as production assistants — a precaution to ensure that none of the scenes being recreated accidentally summon real demons. All human laws were followed and payments have been completed for the sale of the rights.”
“Good, that’s good. One less thing to worry about.”
“Then there’s the completely coincidental fact that Chuck’s final book was just released worldwide miraculously, with a dedication to ‘Uncle Samuel’.” He pulled a copy of the book out of the grocery bag with a napkin in the pages as a bookmark.
Sam flinched. “Look, Cas-”
“Is there a reason you wished for the whole world to know of how we defeated Chuck? Or have you finally read every piece of literature in Creation?”
“No! Absolutely not! I just… I asked Jack to give me a copy of the book, I didn’t ask him to make it available in stores.”
Cas put the bag of groceries on the table and sat down in an empty seat. “You’re saying Jack took the initiative to release it worldwide?”
“He didn’t exactly tell me much. I sent him a text, then the book appeared here.” Sam noticed just how deep in the book the makeshift bookmark was. “How much have you read?”
“I walked from the gas station to the bunker so I had time to read. I was on the chapter when the wood nymph made herself known to you and Dean.”
“Mrs. Butters… getting tortured wasn’t great, but she wasn’t evil. She was just… lost.”
The angel looked down at the book with a pensive look on his face. “Yes… lost.”
Knowing what he did now, Sam was a lot more comfortable saying what he wanted to. “Dean loves you, you know.”
“Yes, he loves all of us deeply.”
“No, I mean… look, I’ve seen him be in love lots of times, whether he knew it or not. Usually, he embraced it when it came to women, but men… you can imagine what our dad thought of that when we were growing up. Dean has probably internalized a lot of that.”
Cas tilted his head, clearly confused. Sam knew it was difficult for a being of nearly infinite power to understand, even with the decade he spent on Earth. A decade was practically a percentage of a microsecond to a being that was billions of years old. How could Sam effectively explain that because John Winchester was in the marines, he had a warped view of manliness, sexuality, and strength that Dean tried to copy for years – to an entity that was everything and nothing? Cas had a difficult time understanding human behavior on a good day, and based on the book, Dean continued to contradict what he said after the Empty took him. It felt like Lee all over again mixed with a huge heaping dose of all the trauma of loss.
There wasn’t much Sam could do except uncover the copy Jack gave him and say, “I’m not gonna sugar-coat it, and it’s kinda messing with my head figuring out how to explain this all to you when you’re… you.”
Cas’ expression softened. “I will endeavor to understand if you feel it is of import.”
Sam nodded. “After our dad died, Dean unlearned a lotta stuff that was, metaphorically, beaten into us. Dad lost his mind when he found Dean kissing the son of another hunter when we were kids, and since then, he’s just sorta… I guess, denied himself the chance to openly be attracted to men.”
“Human traditions about sexuality and gender are fluid depending on the century. Roman men considered it the peak of masculinity to have intercourse with each other.”
“And Dad probably would’ve said something like ‘the Romans are dead, we’re not, so stop spouting horse-shit and stay focused’.” He paused when he remembered exactly when Dean ran into Lee again. “The guy Dad caught him with was Lee Webb, I dunno if the book covered-”
“The case of the Marid in Texhoma, yes. Chapter 7. There were mentions of casual sex before John’s disappearance in 2005.”
Sam blinked. “Really?”
Cas opened the book to a specific page and Sam braced himself for whatever came out of the angel’s mouth. “Quote, ‘ Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away from the stage the moment he saw who was at the mic. It had been almost 15 years since he’d seen Lee Webb, but it was undeniably him and that voice that had made Dean quiver on more than one occasion — more his mouth rather than his voice, though.’ ”
“Wow… that’s… descriptive.” A little too descriptive for Sam’s taste.
“ ‘The last time they had worked a case together was Arizona in 2003, Sam was still at Stanford, John was still alive, and Dean hadn’t been sent to Hell. Lee had been reliable, both in his skills as a hunter and in the sheets. He wasn’t some dramatic ‘the one who got away’ kind, it was hard to resurrect any sort of sexual attraction after all he had been through. They both knew after John and Lee’s father caught them, anything close to a chick-flick moment was off-limits.’ ”
Sam folded his arms over his chest and braced himself for what he was about to say. “Chapter 18.”
“What is-”
“Just… just read Chapter 18. Trust me.”
Despite how suspicious Cas looked, he pulled up a seat at the table and turned to chapter 18. He read with the same look of intensity as he did studying a body or a movie on Netflix. Sam almost wanted to leave the room if only to give the guy privacy, but he had to finish the log update for the hunter database. Coincidentally, it was about the fact that Chuck wrote books about their lives, and now he could add Jack finishing the series into it too. For a while, it was quiet between them as they each did their own thing. Every once in a while, Sam would glance up to see Cas’ reaction to the book, but he held that same stoic expression the entire time. It was probably for the best that he didn’t know, he’d already inserted himself too much into the middle of Dean and Cas’... thing.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” Dean’s voice echoed through the bunker hall.
Sam kept his eyes on the computer as Dean stomped into the library. He trailed the smell of gunsmoke with him from the shooting range.
“This kid is 27, Sammy!” Dean yelled. “And he’s British!”
“Who?” Sam asked with disinterest.
“The guy they picked to play me. It’s all over those fan pages.”
With a sigh, Sam opened up his web browser and searched for the casting announcement for the films. As it turned out, the casting choices had been announced half an hour ago and Dean was supposed to be played by a British actor named Nicholas Galiztine. The article pointed out that Galiztine had played lots of queer characters before, so they speculated even more about the relationship between Dean and Cas because of that. Sam had to keep his poker face when he saw who they cast as Dad.
“He’s an actor, Dean, you think actors can’t fake accents?” Sam asked.
“This dude’ll probably spit out the burgers in between takes,” Dean ranted. “Road food is in my blood, you know that. And those British guys have beans in their breakfast! Beans are for burritos and chilli, everyone knows that.”
“Well, they cast Edward Cullen to play Dad, so there’s that too.”
Dean stumbled like he’d been physically slapped. “No… you’re lying.”
For the first time since he started reading, Cas reached into the grocery bag and pulled out a Hollywood tabloid with Robert Pattinson’s face on it. He never took his eyes off of the book as he handed it to Dean. His big brother’s face warped into absolute outrage as he looked over the cover, then flipped to the page of the article. With the magazine open, Sam could see the cover really emphasized how the actor went from teen vampire to grizzled superhero. Dad would’ve been extremely offended by the choice, and Sam couldn’t help the smirk he had at the thought.
“Rotisserie’s dad is playing Dad!?” Dean slammed the magazine on the table. “Nuh-uh, that is fucking rude!”
Cas finally looked up, utterly confused. “There was a child named Rotisserie?”
Sam grabbed his laptop and fled the library before he could get sucked into Dean’s customary rant about Twilight. It was a mistake Sam still regretted that he agreed to rent all the Twilight movies just so Dean knew what some girls at the high school they were undercover at were talking about. Dean hate-watched all five movies and screamed at all of the inaccuracies so much that they nearly got kicked out of the motel in Tennessee. It was a necessary evil in the end, arguing about Twilight got one of the goths to open up about the president of the Twi-Hards fanclub meeting a ‘real vampire’ — which turned out to be the very vampire they’d been hunting.
***
Dean made it a point to not talk about the damn movies for the next week. Ever since Jack took over as God, the number of crazy things had dwindled without apocalypses to stop. Rowena kept the demons in better check than Crowley ever did, so possessions were down to a minimum. There’d be a vampire nest here, a shifter causing chaos there. It almost felt like the old days before… well, before Cas dragged his ass out of hell. Dean didn’t like to think about life without Cas, it sent him into a spiral that made him want to drink himself into oblivion like last time. It also made him want to do something stupid like hug the winged bastard and never let go.
He glanced in the rearview mirror to see Cas in the backseat, just like he always was and always would be. In the passenger seat, Sam had his journal where he scribbled down the notes of their last hunt for the database. What they had was good, there was no need to complicate things with Cas’ goodbye speech to summon the Empty. They’d managed it for a year, what was another twenty?
“I need to run an errand,” Cas announced when they pulled over at a gas station in Illinois.
Dean cut the engine. “Nothing dangerous, right? ‘Cuz if you need backup, you’ve got us.”
Sam gave him a weird look as he got out of the car to pump the gas.
“No, it is simply a quick trip through time to check on a progression of events.”
“Woah, time jumping? What the hell for?”
“I will tell you when I return.”
And just like that, Cas disappeared. It was kind of annoying how often Cas disappeared since he got his grace fully restored. Dean missed when he had to stay in the car or take that dinged up truck somewhere to handle business, he could keep track of the angel that way. Not like he could tell Cas that it made his heart sink whenever he disappeared to ‘handle things’, even though he knew Cas would do everything he could to ease the anxiety if asked. For now, Dean sighed and got out of the car to grab some junk food.
“You okay?” Sam asked from the pump.
“Fine. You want anything?”
“Smart Water, and organic trail mix if they have it.”
Dean rolled his eyes. “You and your rabbit food, I swear.”
Because he wasn’t a total dick, Dean got two bags of that organic trail mix crap and jerky that was apparently locally made by the Amish. He could ‘support small businesses’ like Sam and Claire had always gone on about. He was about to head to the checkout counter when he decided to check out the gossip rags for light reading. J-Lo and Ben Affleck had gotten back together, an absolutely terrible idea. Marvel was going to put out their million and first film, this time with two of the actors from Game of Thrones. But what caught his attention was the cover from Star that had that British actor’s face on it, and Dean nearly had a heart attack over it.
DESTIEL CONFIRMED!
‘Supernatural’ screenwriter confirms Dean and Cas romance thanks to the final book release in the Series
“What the fuck…?”
Dean grabbed the magazine off the rack and opened it to the article about the movie. It wasn’t fake, it was an honest-to-Jack announcement that the final book confirmed a romance between Dean and Cas. How the fuck did the whole world know about what he said in the dungeon before Cas did? Dean wanted to throw up at the thought that Cas found out about what he said by reading a fucking book about it by Chuck. And the implication that Chuck was writing again, could he have found a way to take out Jack and reclaim his spot as the psychotic author who played with their lives like dolls? Dean quickly checked out the shit he needed, including the magazine, and stormed out of the gas station with his bag. He went right up to Sammy just as he was about to get into the car.
“Chuck is back.” He shoved the magazine cover in his brother’s face. “When the hell did he know about-about this!? ”
Sam sighed the way he did when Dean acted like an idiot. “Chuck isn’t back, Dean. Jack wrote the book.”
“Why the hell would Jack write the book? Is he corrupted?”
“No! Absolutely not. I just… you’ve been acting weird since Cas came back, and I wanted to know why.” And like a traitor, he pulled out a copy of the book from his backpack. “I didn’t expect him to finish the series, but it told me what’s going on with you and Cas.”
“So all this is your fault? The whole world is gonna know my personal business because you, what, asked Jack for a favor instead of talking to me?”
Sam at least had the brains to look ashamed. “I’m sorry. If I had known that Jack would do something like this, I never would have asked. And Cas hasn’t-”
“Cas has read it?” Dean wanted to puke.
“... yeah, he read it.” His traitor of a brother handed Dean the book. “Chapter 18. I’ll drive.”
“Like hell I’m gonna let you-”
Sam grabbed the keys out of his hand and looked beyond over it. “Dean, I have been watching you and Cas dance around each other for the last decade and I’m done playing into it. For once, just read the damn book and talk to Cas when he gets back.” He angrily walked over to the driver side. “And I swear to Jack that if you try to push him away like some kind of martyr who denies himself for pious reasons, I will lock you two in a room until you either kill each other or make out. You’re way too emotionally constipated.”
“... you’re pious,” Dean muttered in defeat.
And because Sam was a cruel bastard, he put in his Enya tapes for the rest of the drive home. Dean glared at his brother, but Sam simply gave him a bitchface that clearly meant ‘shotgun shuts his cakehole’. God, he was trapped for the next nine hours with chick-flick music and a book that showed the worst day of his life for the entire world to see. Even the fucking executives in Hollywood had seen it, and were ready to put his non-relationship with Cas on screen. Dean couldn’t lie, even to himself, that it wasn’t kind of pathetic that Hollywood was getting the jump on his feelings before Dean could admit them to Cas.
Dean held strong against the torture for three hours, then he caved. He ran out of jerky to do something with his hands, and Sam had gone through both sides of two tapes already. The son of a bitch wasn’t going to let up until he read the chapter. He may have fought demons, angels, and God himself, but no man in his right mind could stand any more Enya in total silence. So he opened the book to the bookmarked page and started reading.
***
They didn’t see Cas again until they got back to Kansas. They’d stopped at the gas station to fill Baby’s tank again and stretch their legs when Dean heard that signature flap of wings again. Cas didn’t look any more ruffled than he usually did, no blood or dirt, but he did smell like movie popcorn, which was weird. Dean could barely look at him after the initial glance to see if the angel was in one piece. He was still rattled by how Jack wrote what happened that day in the dungeon, and the fact that Cas had read that deep pain he felt. It didn’t escape him that what he sobbed on that cold floor, the ‘I love you’ Cas couldn’t hear, was now out in the open.
“Hello, Dean,” Cas greeted.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean cleared his throat after his voice cracked. “How’d your trip through time go?”
“Well enough. I’d like to show you what I found.”
Dean heard the gas nozzle clunk to signal it was finished, and took it out of the tank. “You said it went well. What do you need to show me?”
“I consider it vital information to share.”
“Is it a case?”
“I doubt it would be classified as such. You could say I found something I enjoyed and want to share it with you, similar to the endless movies I’ve endured for you.”
Travelling through time with Cas? Alone? No, that wasn’t going to happen. “Lemme get Sammy so we can come with you.”
“I’d prefer you come with me alone.”
“Cas-”
One minute, he was in a gas station in Kansas, the next he was transported somewhere else… in Kansas. Dean hoped it was just a few hours ahead since they were clearly in Kansas City and it was dark out. They were in an alley, concealed from anyone who would freak out at seeing two men appear out of thin air. Dean’s hope of it being a few hours later were dashed when they left the alley and saw a poster for a musical that was set to show in April 2027.
“The hell did you take me, Cas?” Dean demanded.
“October 28th, 2026.”
“Why are we six years in the future? The hell is so important that you’d-”
The question was answered when Dean glanced over to the old school theatre across the road, and one of the showings was Supernatural IV: Raised from Perdition. In line outside the theatre, there were lots of people dressed in tan trench coats and wings or leather jackets and flannel. A lot of them had different flavors of Pride flags baked into the costumes, and Dean felt his stomach clench hard enough that he wanted to puke.
“Did you… did you seriously bring us six years forward to watch a-a movie? About us?” Dean asked.
“Yes. It’s the film that recreates how we met.”
“Oh yeah? Who’d they cast to play you?” Dean may have been smiling when he asked, but inside, he was freaking the fuck out.
“Anthony Ramos. They changed Jimmy’s surname from Novak to López.”
It was pure instinct that Dean wanted to yell about some nobody playing someone as incredible as Cas, since the only place he knew the guy was Hamilton . However, Charlie educating him on certain things told him to shut up, so he kept his mouth shut to not come off as racist. They went across the street to join the line of teenagers in costumes. It was a little uncomfortable how they could easily blend in just dressed as themselves, absolutely nobody batted an eye at them, not even at the ticket window.
“Uh, two tickets to Supernatural 4. ” Dean said.
The cashier took his chipped card and printed two tickets out. “Two grown men going to see this movie? Shocking.”
“I… liked the books…?”
“Well, tell me how the kiss scene looks when you’re done. You got the last tickets for this screening.”
“Woah, what? A kiss scene?”
“Dude! Move up!” Someone shouted.
Cas dragged him away by the arm and they went to the concession stand. It too had a line a mile long, and Dean couldn’t even look at his phone to figure out what the hell that cashier was talking about. Cas, stoic as always, didn’t seem bothered by the implication. A kiss, that could mean a million things for a movie like this. Sammy was with that demon for a while, Ruby, so maybe it was a kiss with them? It had to be, otherwise the real reason everyone was dressed as him and Cas would be… god, when had his life turned into canon fodder for horny fans? He’d made the mistake of looking at one of those fan stories one night when he couldn’t sleep, and that… well, what happened as a result was better left unsaid.
Dean got himself popcorn and a soda, and they went to one of the three theatres in the joint. The poster for the new movie was pretty obvious in terms of the important stuff. Him and Sam’s actors were stood side by side, Cas in the background with a silhouette of angel wings, and a hand stuck out of the ground with Dean’s gravestone behind it. That British actor seemed to have permanently pouty lips, it was kind of crazy. The tagline for the movie was He was Raised to Stop Armageddon… but at What Cost? Pretty damn dramatic for a theatre filled to the brim with not just fangirls, but fanboys and fan-thems too. Their ticket had them in the back, since that was all that was left, with two gay guys on one side and a bunch of girls in costume on the other side.
Dean was way more nervous than he should’ve been to watch the movie. Cas was right next to him, completely unphased but not totally relaxed. There was a tenseness to his posture that Dean only noticed because he’d known the angel for the last decade. It was subtle, his arm was rigid when Dean accidentally bumped into it to pick his drink up. And when the credits for the studio ended, the camera panned down to Dean’s grave in the night. The dirt popped open and a hand stuck out of the ground. The entire theatre went fucking nuts and cheered like a football touchdown. The real Dean, though, could barely move as he watched his actor struggle against the dirt and pull himself out of the grave. He’d heard people joke about waking up in a coffin before, but nobody ever talked about the lack of air, the crushing dirt, the need to stay alive that coursed through you as you fought for your life. His actor pulled himself out of the ground, covered in dirt and twigs, and laid on the ground gasping for air. As the camera pulled away from him, music started to swell and the title Supernatural IV: Raised from Perdition appeared on screen.
Everything played out basically the same as it had that day, only instead of a phone booth, his actor asked for a bystander’s phone and called Bobby. Inside the decrepit, run down building of Singer’s Salvage, the guy who played Morpheus in The Matrix looked up from his whiskey, Bobby’s favorite… and wore a trucker hat just like Bobby. Holy shit, Morpheus was cast to play Bobby fucking Singer. Dean had to keep himself from snorting soda out of his nose from how funny it was.
The whole sequence of events played out in how they found Cas, just like before but with more modern stuff added. Pamela was played by some chick Dean didn’t recognize, and her eyes burning out was just as horrifying as it was to witness back then. Then they were in the barn, where they sprayed every possible sigil known to man from floor to ceiling as they waited for Cas. It felt like the entire theatre held their breath in anticipation for Castiel, the Angel of Thursday, to show up. To the left, the teens grabbed onto each other with suppressed squeals, and on his right, the two boyfriends whispered to each other about ‘this is it!’. The top of the barn shook and the lights flickered ominously, then the doors to the barn were broken open by a shadowy figure. All of the feminine voices in the audience squealed when Anthony Ramos, hair short and messy with curls, walked in with the trench coat and suit getup.
“Sorry about that,” Dean whispered to his Cas as his film self unleashed a barrage of gunfire on movie-Cas.
“I forgave you long ago.”
Film-Cas put two, glowing fingers on Bobby, who passed out onto the floor. Dean’s actor looked just as freaked out as he’d felt that day, seeing one of the strongest people he knew taken out in one move.
“Who are you?” Dean in the film asked.
“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”
“Roll credits,” one of the dudes next to him said.
“Yeah, thanks for that.” and his film-self stabbed Cas in the chest.
Dean couldn’t help but flinch at that recreation. He didn’t know what else to do at the time, he’d been scared and his only backup was out cold on the floor. There were so many times when he and Cas had hurt each other, it didn’t feel good to have that reflected back at him like a giant red flag as to why anything with Cas was a bad idea. A small part of him, the part that still had some hope in the world, whispered that they hadn’t done anything intentionally to one another in years and that the worst things Cas did were before he fell or was brainwashed by Naomi.
More crazy drama happened that Dean remembered, like finding out Anna was a fallen angel, meeting Chuck before they knew who exactly he was, a lot of stuff about their cases were cut out probably to save for time. Dean was nearly to the bottom of his popcorn when Cas rebelled against Heaven and let Claire go — the little girl they cast as Claire was fucking phenomenal. With Lucifer out of the cage, the teen girls seemed to get even more antsy than when Cas first appeared in the barn. Dean braced himself for whatever would come next, as thus far, the teen girls were a barometer for when super important things about Dean and Cas came up.
On screen, Dean looked up in the mirror and flinched at Cas suddenly behind him. “Don’t do that!”
Cas, ever present, ever stoic, simply said, “Hello, Dean.”
His movie self turned around, eyes constantly flicking from Cas’ eyes to his lips. “Cas… we talked about this… personal space.”
“My apologies.” and he gave Dean the room he asked for.
That had gone a little differently in real life. Back then, Dean didn’t know why his heart raced around the angel or why he was suddenly glad he wasn’t alone in his motel room. Hunting without Sam had been difficult after doing it for the last four years, and they had thwarted Armageddon together. When they figured out that the angels were trying to set off another apocalypse, Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He remembered that night, so determined to deny that he liked anything other than girls that he’d dragged Cas to a brothel to get him laid.
“So, odds are, you’re a dead man tomorrow?” His movie-self asked.
Castiel looked out the window solemnly. “Yes.”
“Wow… well, last night on Earth. Any plans?”
“I just thought I’d sit here, quietly.”
His movie self looked confused. “Dude, c’mon. Anything? Booze? Weed? Women? Men? Or one of those other million genders?”
The teen girls got antsy and whispered something about ‘it’s the scene!’ before the people next to them shushed them. In the theatre, Cas was totally unbothered, and on screen, Castiel looked away uncomfortably.
“You have been with someone before?” His actor asked. “Or an angel, at least?”
Castiel rubbed his neck nervously but didn’t respond. Damn, Ramos got the ‘non-human virgin’ act down perfectly. His movie self leaned down in a way that was way more flirty than he did in real life, and smirked like a tease. Okay, director, they understood he was attractive, they could knock it off now!
“ You mean to tell me you’ve never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding?” Dean asked.
“Look, I’ve never had occasion, okay?”
The girls squealed, and Cas was the one to shush them. It was the first time he reacted in any way to the film, and it put Dean on high alert. His actor looked as shocked as Dean had felt that day, as back then, he couldn’t understand how someone as fantastic as Cas could be a virgin. He’d imagined… lots of different scenarios. The guy was obviously attractive, bit of a bad boy by Heaven’s standards, and said their numbers were ‘not infinite’. He’d been absolutely sure Castiel, magnificent angel that he was, had been with one of his own kind before.
“Okay.” Dean put his coat on. “Look, there are two things I know for certain. One: SpongeBob has always been gay. Two: You are not dying a virgin tonight. Not on my watch.” He paused for a second. “Make it three: a hookup is a swipe away. C’mon.”
Of course, even with the updated tech and hookup that Cas attempted, he still screwed it up. Him in the movie waited patiently outside the motel room for Cas, but the woman stormed out absolutely offended. Dean rushed up to the door and found Cas, sans his trench coat and suit jacket. Movie him was stunned into silence, and real Dean gripped the armrest so hard he probably could’ve broken it. Was this it? The kiss that everyone seemed to know about and waited for?
“What happened?” His actor asked. “What’d you do?”
“I don’t know… I looked her in the eyes, and told her it wasn’t her fault that her father left. He simply hated his job at the post office.”
Unlike how Dean and Cas had to run out of the brothel a decade ago, his on-screen version started to laughing right there in the motel room. He laughed so hard that he doubled over and had to hold himself up at the end of the bed. The rest of the theatre started to laugh along with it, and Dean in the theatre took a large sip of his soda. Cas watched the film intently, probably compared every single moment to life with that perfect memory of his.
Once movie-him stopped laughing, movie-Cas looked confused and asked, “What?”
“You… that’s the most I’ve laughed in forever. Years.” Dean grabbed the two coats off the floor. “C’mon, let’s go.”
The film cut outside to Dean throwing the coats into the backseat, but Cas didn’t get in the passenger seat. Instead, he stared at Dean like he stared right into his soul. The script probably wrote that he did stare into Dean’s soul. Cas always said he had a beautiful soul, not that he believed it anyway. All the terrible things Dean did, his soul had to be tattered and shredded by that point. But in the movie, Dean leaned back against Baby and stared right back like a challenge.
“Got something on your mind?” His actor asked.
“I… I realize that maybe my methods are… flawed,” Cas’ actor admitted.
“What methods? Finding the angels? Or God?”
“Telegraphing my intent.”
Dean in the theatre nearly choked on his damn soda but not because of laughter.
“Intent of what? Did you not wanna get laid? You could’a told me, consent and all that.”
Suddenly, movie-Cas was right in front of movie-Dean and pulled him into a kiss. The entire theatre went mental, the teen girls screamed, fans clapped, a few people booed. Dean… he needed air. It felt like the entire theatre would close in on him and he couldn’t breathe. He scooted his way past the boyfriends, skipped several steps at a time down to the theatre door, and ran out a side door into an alley. His heart thudded in his chest and his face was still too damn hot. Cas had to have known, there was no way he didn’t know about the damn kiss. Was the whole field trip six years into the future just to show Dean that he and Cas were macking on the big screen? To the joy of teens with no lives everywhere? Dean wanted to… he didn’t know, there were too many thoughts and emotions that ran through his head at once.
The door opened again and the real Castiel followed him into the alley. Dean hadn’t realized he’d been bent over against a wall like he was about to puke, he’d been too enmeshed in the panic or something attack he’d been having.
“Dean,” Cas rushed to his side. “Are you alright?”
“... why?” Dean breathed.
“What?”
He straightened himself out now that the panic turned into anger. “Why the hell are we here, Cas!? Did you really bring me six years into the future so you could, what, watch us make out on screen? What’s the fucking point of all this!?”
Cas looked up like he wanted to challenge the hunter. “I read the book.”
“I — you what?”
“Chapter 18, page 189, paragraph 4. I know what you said after The Empty took me.”
Dean shouldn’t have been surprised that Cas had the exact place in the book memorized, yet he was anyway. Sam told him he’d read the chapter, but to have the angel confirm it like a challenge was something else altogether. He felt a lump in his throat as he realized this was Cas’ version of ‘locking you in a room until you make out’. The look he had on his face was his game-face, the one he wore when he planned an attack or was ready to sacrifice himself for Dean again. He wanted Dean’s reaction, no matter what it was, and wasn’t going to deal with anymore bullshit.
“What’d you think?” he asked like an idiot.
“I’m not surprised you called me a stupid son of a bitch, as it’s not the first time you called me that.”
“I…” Dean closed his eyes. “You’ve read all the books, right? The good, the bad, the — all of it?”
“Yes, I’ve read them.”
The words, desperate to come out for the last year, almost felt like acid on Dean’s tongue. “I was ready to give up a year ago. It would’ve been a shitty way to die, but life? It gave me nothing but pain and death. Without you, or Charlie, or Bobby, or Mom, or even Dad, I wanted to let go. I couldn’t see a way out except dying. And then you appeared like a goddamn miracle, and I had… I had a reason to stick around.”
Cas’s voice softened. “Dean.”
“I… I can’t lose you again. Every good thing in my life gets ripped away, and you were the best thing in it. That’s why it’s taken me so long…” He forced himself to look up at Cas, eyes brimmed with tears. “If I say it – promise. I know you can’t promise anything, but-”
Dean nearly flinched when Cas reached up to his face, only to be met with a gentle thumb that wiped away his tears. Cas wasn’t doing much better, his eyes were as wet as puddles and his smile was sad. It was too close to that smile when he said those goddamn words in the dungeon. The familiar hum of angelic grace rang in Dean’s ears and Cas’s fingers lit up in golden light.
“May I?” He asked.
He couldn’t speak because of the lump in his throat, so he nodded instead. He felt Cas’ grace gently seep into his skin and wash over the depths of his mind. It didn’t feel intrusive like when other beings poked around in his head, it felt like a piece of himself came home inside his body. A gentle graze of a hand over the deepest corners of his mind where he locked his feelings for Cas away. The angel waited for permission to enter that particular door, wanting Dean to be absolutely certain that this was what he wanted. Dean let the grace into that particular part of himself and pushed forward every beautiful thing he felt about the angel. He couldn’t say the words out loud, but he could damn well think them with every fiber of his being. He could feel Cas intensify and almost bloom inside his head with all of the emotions Dean willingly put on display. They were one and the same, two halves of a whole, there at the end of the world over and over again. He wouldn’t want to spend eternity with anyone else, except maybe Sam.
Cas’ tears had spilled over his cheeks when he pulled away, but he had a smile on his face. “You’re a righteous man, Dean Winchester… you’re my righteous man.”
Dean knew there was no going back after this, and he found, for the first time, that he didn’t care. Fuck the world and everything it had to offer, what he wanted more than anything had offered himself up to Dean wholly and unquestioningly. He pulled Cas into his arms and kissed him with everything he possibly had. He finally had the dorky, beautiful angel in his arms and he was damned if he was ever going to let go again. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s back and kissed just as hungrily back, like he’d waited for thousands of years to be able to do this. His lips tasted like skin and hints of the popcorn they sold at only movie theatres, and felt like a million grace-filled nerves attached to his skin. The tears that dripped down his cheeks and mixed with Cas’s weren’t sad anymore, they were purely happy.