Archive of Our Own

“Char?” Nick called, lifting Edie’s arm up and examining the three spots nestled in her armpit. Edie kicked her legs and tried to roll over, but Nick held her gently in place. “One minute, mon chou,” he murmured calmly, his eyes carefully scanning the rest of her exposed skin. 

“Hmmm?” Charlie’s reply sounded through the open bedroom door.

“Can you come look at this? Please?” 

Charlie appeared a moment later wearing only his boxers, holding a small white towel that he was ruffling through his damp hair. Any other time Nick might have taken a second to enjoy the view — his lean chest and the smattering of dark hair that disappeared teasingly under his waistband. But the familiar thrum of worry had already begun nudging at the edge of his consciousness, keeping his attention elsewhere. 

“You okay?” Charlie asked, sounding a little confused.

“Edie’s got spots. Look.” Nick held Edie’s little leg up, turning it just enough to point at the single spot he’d first noticed, hidden in the crease at the back of her knee. 

Charlie came closer, leaning over Edie who squirmed once before arching her back and wailing.

“Is it a bite maybe?” Charlie asked, running his finger around the edge of the tiny spot. “I remember mum losing it once when Olly came back from Aunt Wendy’s covered in flea bites.”

Nick lowered Edie’s leg and lifted up her arm. “Maybe, but there’s three here too?”

Edie let out another shout of protest and finally managed to wriggle free of her dad’s grip, rolling over and immediately speed crawling to the top of the bed. Nick turned to Charlie who was biting his lip in thought. 

“Heat rash?” Charlie suggested. “It has been stupidly hot the last few days.”

It was only mid May, but the temperature had reached twenty-seven degrees the day before and all three of them had struggled to sleep last night with the unseasonable heat.

“Yeah,” Nick nodded, his worry already melting away. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Charlie smiled at Nick, before reaching up on tiptoes to place a quick kiss to his lips. “I’ll get dressed and then I’ll take Edie downstairs and get her nursery bag ready.”

Nick smiled back. Then he turned to his daughter, who was now happily emptying a packet of baby wipes. “Right madam, time to get you dressed!”

///

“She’s had a good day,” Emma, Edie’s key worker, said as she passed over Edie’s bag. “She did nap for longer than normal this afternoon — we ended up waking her up just before three. But I think this heat probably wiped her out. We spent lots of time this morning playing outside in the garden, didn’t we, Edie?”

Edie laid her head against Nick's chest, looking tired.

“Half my class were half asleep at their desks this afternoon,” Nick chuckled. “I know we shouldn’t moan, but seriously… it’s just not fun when it’s this hot.”

“Not unless there's air con and a pool!” Emma laughed.

“Exactly!” Nick shifted Edie in his arms. “Right, see you tomorrow. Thank you.”

“Bye Nick. Bye Edie!”

Nick carried his daughter the short distance to the car, even more grateful than usual that, unlike most parents who had to park several streets away, he had access to the staff car park. 

“Come on, darling,” Nick soothed as he strapped a whinging Edie into her carseat. “We’ll be home soon.”

///

“Nick!” 

Charlie’s tone cut through the music playing quietly from Alexa, making Nick freeze mid-scrub. A second later the washing up was abandoned and he was heading towards the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” he called, already half way up them and surprisingly breathless. He burst through the bathroom door with more force than intended, startling both Charlie and Edie, who turned to look at him with matching stunned expressions.

Charlie was crouched over the bath, one hand on Edie’s back. His surprise slipped away as he turned back to Edie, only to be replaced with an uncertain look of concern.

“I noticed a few more spots when I took her nappy off, but I just… I thought the heat, and the nappy… but,” Charlie paused, leaning further over the bath. “Nick, there’s loads. They’re on the bottom of her feet? And look,” Charlie lifted Edie’s arm in the air. 

An angry cluster of spots had formed under his daughter’s arm, starting to spread down her side. 

“I didn’t see them until she was already in the bath. I’m sorry,” Charlie bit his lip.

Nick dropped to his knees beside Charlie. “You don’t need to be sorry.” He gave Charlie’s arm a  quick squeeze before leaning over the bath to run a gentle hand down Edie’s back. “Oh, mon chou.”

Charlie worried at his bottom lip. “I don’t think it’s heat rash, do you?” 

“No. And nursery said she slept loads this afternoon, too.” Edie didn’t seem upset, but Nick’s heart still clenched with guilt.

“Maybe… maybe chickenpox?” Charlie asked hesitantly. 

Nick wiped his damp hand on his shorts, pulled out his phone and headed straight to Google. He grimaced looking at the images that filled his screen. 

“Yeah,” he said grimly, tilting the phone to show Charlie. “I think so.”

Charlie winced at the photos. “Oh, poor baby,” Charlie murmured, stroking Edie’s damp hair. “Oh sweetheart, do you feel poorly?”

“She had spots this morning, Char,” Nick said, his voice quiet as guilt flooded him. “I sent her to nursery with chickenpox!” 

Nick’s heart rate quickened as he skimmed the NHS webpage, worry rising with every line he read. Until Charlie’s hand landed gently on his arm, grounding him. Charlie gently eased the phone down, coaxing Nick to look up and meet his eyes.

“You didn’t know. We didn’t know. And she seems okay?”

Nick looked into Charlie’s eyes, searching for something but not knowing quite what as his mind filled with doubt and questions. 

“Nick, she’s okay. Look,” Charlie gestured to Edie who was happily playing with her cups, trying to fill them with water. 

Nick took a deep breath and managed to give Charlie a small smile. “Yeah, she's okay.” 

///

Edie was not okay. Neither was Nick for that matter.

“I'm sorry my darling, I'm so sorry. It's okay, it's going to be okay,” Nick soothed as he gently stripped her out of the thin vest she'd been sleeping in. 

His little girl wailed in his arms, desperately trying to claw at her skin. 

The landing creaked and a moment later the bedroom door opened. “The calpol hasn’t helped then?” Charlie said sadly as he came to stand beside Nick. 

Charlie’s hand rested on Nick’s lower back, silently offering support that Nick willingly leaned into. He shook his head and exhaled shakily. 

“Not really. I think it’s brought her temperature down but she’s just so unhappy.” He felt completely helpless, his chest physically ached seeing his baby so distraught.

“Should we try a bath? I read oats are meant to help,” Charlie suggested gently. 

Nick felt like crying at the word ‘we’. He’d sent Charlie back to bed half an hour ago, knowing he had work in the morning, that logically it made no sense for them both to be sleep deprived. But logic hadn’t stopped Nick from missing Charlie’s steady and calming presence the moment he had finally agreed to try and sleep.

Nick nodded, not trusting himself to speak as Edie continued to sob — real, heart wrenching, pained sobs — against his chest.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Charlie whispered sadly. He squeezed Nick’s arm reassuringly and then left the room.

Less than ten minutes later, the bath was ready, complete with a floating sock full of oats. Edie’s cries had quietened to soft, pathetic whimpers as soon as she had been placed in the cool water. Nick was slumped over the side of the bath, gently trickling water down her spotty back. He was exhausted and already felt completely out of his depth.

“She’s so young,” he murmured to Charlie, who was sitting on the closed toilet seat reading something on his phone. “I hate seeing her like this.”

Charlie shuffled forward until his knees bumped gently against Nick’s side. He wrapped both arms around him, pulling him close, and rested his chin lightly on the top of Nick’s bowed head. Nick sagged into Charlie’s embrace, closing his eyes for just a second.

“I’m going to go to Tesco, there’s a gel or a cream or something that’s supposed to help with the itching,” Charlie said, his voice muffled by Nick’s hair.

“Char, it’s the middle of the night.”

Nick felt Charlie shrugged, his arms still holding him tight. “Big Tesco is 24 hours, and if it will help her sleep…”

Nick’s eyes burned, whether with exhaustion or emotions he refused to say. He wanted to tell Charlie how grateful he was for him, how worried he was, that he felt like a fraud — who let a twenty four year old bloke be sole carer for a baby without any training or qualifications?! —  that he was about ten seconds away from calling his mum at three am, telling her he needed an adult to come and save him. “Love you,” he whispered instead.

Charlie kissed the top of his head. “Love you too,” he said, lowering his arms and standing in one fluid motion.

///

Thirty-seven minutes later, the front door quietly opened and closed and Nick held his breath, praying the noise didn’t wake Edie up. After a peaceful few seconds, he exhaled and carefully shuffled down the bed, doing his best not to jostle his daughter too much.

Charlie’s head appeared around the door a moment later. He paused, taking in the sight of Nick lying awkwardly on top of the duvet, then stepped quietly into the room on tiptoe.

“She okay?” Charlie whispered, crouching down beside the bed. 

“Yeah,” Nick murmured just as quietly. “I think the bath helped. She zonked out a few minutes ago.”

“I bought something called ‘Virasoothe’, and another bottle of Calpol just in case.”

Nick tried to smile. “Thanks, Char. I think I’ll sleep here tonight? I don’t want to risk moving her to her cot and her waking up.”

“Course,” Charlie whispered, lacing his fingers through Nick’s. “Do you need anything? Do you want me to sleep in here with you?”

Nick shook his head gently.

“No, you get some sleep. You’ll be exhausted in the morning.”

“I’ll be fine.” Charlie brushed a kiss to Nick’s knuckles before leaning back on his heels. “If you need me just shout.”

“Thanks, Char.”

“Night, sleep well.”  

Nick nearly laughed, the idea that he’d get any sleep felt impossible.

“You too,” he whispered instead. And then, once Charlie had quietly left the room, he closed his eyes and somehow fell asleep in moments.

///

[09:07 Charlie]  how’s little lady?

[09:07 Nick]  Sad. If she’s not sleeping
she’s crying

[09:07 Nick]  I’m going to have to call my
dad, tell him we can’t come this weekend

[09:08 Charlie] I’m sorry 😞

[09:08 Charlie]  your dad will understand

[09:08 Nick]  Yeah

[09:08 Charlie] we’ll rearrange for another
weekend really soon

[09:08 Charlie]  give Edie a kiss from me.

[09:09: Nick]  Going to try that gel you
bought. The bath def helps but she’s so
tired she was falling asleep in it

[09:10 Charlie]  wish I could be at home to help

[09:10 Charlie]  love you both xx

Nick wished Charlie was at home too, but he knew that was selfish of him. He hearted Charlie’s last message and then pocketed his phone. Edie whined in his arms, a tired sleepy sound full of sadness.

“I know,” Nick gently assured his daughter. “Let’s get you some milk, then put some of this special cream on.”

Edie had refused both the porridge and yogurt Nick had offered earlier, and hadn’t even managed half of her morning bottle. He was trying not to worry, but low level anxiety thrummed just below his attempt at a calm exterior, and he silently begged his daughter to please, please drink the rest now. 

///

Edie was asleep in his arms. She was only wearing a nappy and every minute or so she’d let out a little half sob, but she was asleep. She’d taken the rest of her morning bottle, slowly, eventually falling asleep as she fed.

Nick was now trapped under her, the TV remote out of reach and his phone burning a hole in his pocket. He needed to ring his dad.

On Friday, after eleven months, his dad was finally meant to be meeting his first grandchild. Not that his dad had organised a trip to the UK, apparently work and family commitments — his new wife’s family, nothing to do with him or David — had kept him extremely busy for almost a year now.

But with Charlie’s gentle encouragement, knowing how much it meant to Nick for Edie to know her family, Nick had ordered Edie’s passport and nervously arranged a weekend trip to Paris. Even after Edie’s passport had arrived it had taken weeks for him to broach the idea with his dad, and another week to finally book their flights.  

Nick had been a mixed mess of excitement and nerves ever since. And now, typically, he needed to cancel.

He took a deep breath and pulled his phone from his pocket, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby in his arms. For several long moments, he stared at the dark screen, mentally preparing himself as he always did before finally dialing his dad’s number.

The phone rang. And rang. And rang.

With every unanswered ring, the tightness in Nick’s chest loosened. A voicemail he could do. Or a text, even. He’d  tried  to do the right thing and call. He’d made the effort. He’d done enough.

His dad’s familiar answerphone message started to play, and without even thinking about it, Nick pulled the phone away from his ear and quickly ended the call.

He was only three words into a text —  Salut papa, j'espère  — when his phone started, loudly, ringing in his hand. Nick’s heart dropped at the sight of his dad’s name on the screen, and he hurried to answer — the fear that the ringing might wake Edie easily outweighing his distinct lack of eagerness to talk to Stéphane Fournier.

“Salut, papa.”

“Nicholas! Désolé d'avoir manqué ton appel, heureusement que je suis sur le point de partir sur le quatrième et que Guillaume met un temps fou à aligner son coup de départ. Je n'ai qu'une minute. Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?”

Nick didn’t know who Guillaume was, or what the fourth was, but he suspected it had something to do with golf. Despite himself, a seed of annoyance took root in his chest. He swallowed it down, reminding himself that negative feelings only hurt himself long term, as he opened his mouth to reply.

He promptly closed it again when he realised he didn’t know what to say.

“Nicholas?” his dad prompted, his tone impatient.

Nick sighed. “Edie n'est pas très en forme,” he said, deciding to get straight to the point.

“Oh, je suis désolé de l'apprendre,” his dad said, sounding distracted. A moment later this was confirmed by his frustrated, muffled voice coming through the speaker. “Guillaume, qu’est-ce que - Michel, pour l'amour du ciel, j'ai dit mon Bois 3, pas le driver!”

Nick’s jaw clenched. Too busy to fly over for a few days to meet his granddaughter, but apparently not too busy to get in a round of golf on a Wednesday morning.

“Mes excuses,” Stéphane said lightly. “Le caddie est nouveau, il n’a pas la moindre idée de ce qu'il fait. Qu’est-ce que tu disais?”

“Edie,” Nick said tightly. “Elle ne va pas bien.”

“Oh, mince. J'espère qu'elle ira mieux bientôt.”

“C'est la varicelle,” Nick continued. “Donc on va surement devoir annuler ce week-end.”

“Ah oui, c’est ce week-end, non? Martine est tellement impatiente de - Michel, celui-là!”

Nick inhaled deeply, trying to let his feelings wash over him — he was fine. His dad was busy and hadn’t been expecting his call. At least he’d called Nick back immediately, that was something.

“C'était censé être ce week-end, oui. Mais, comme je l’ai dit, elle ne va vraiment pas bien, donc nous allons devoir reporter.”

Or you could fly over and visit us instead Nick thought bitterly.

Stéphane made a sympathetic sound. “Oh, c’est vraiment dommage. J’avais tellement hâte de voir ce petit bout de chou. Martine aussi. Et ton nouveau petit-ami. Comment s’appelle-t-il déjà?”

“Charlie,” Nick bit out, jaw tightening. His heart was starting to race now, frustration rising in his chest.

“Oui, Charlie! C’est ça. C'est dommage.”

“Ouais, désolé -

“Attends” his dad said before mumbling something away from the phone speaker. “Nick, je dois y aller.”

“Oh, oui bien sûr. Je te parlerai-”

“Nous allons réorganiser tout ça! Très vite.”

“Ouais, d’accord-”

“Au revoir Nicolas. Oh, et rétablis-toi bien petite Edith.”

“Merci—” Nick started, but then the line went dead.

Nick sighed, heart still racing just a little too fast. He hated how he often felt after talking to his dad, like he’d just completed a job interview and was unsure whether he’d passed with flying colours,or crashed and burned. Only it wasn’t a job he was interviewing for, it was the position of Stéphane Fournier’s son.

Edie started fidgeting and whimpering in her sleep, thankfully preventing Nick from dissecting his phone call with his dad too much. She woke properly a few moments later, immediately crying and clinging to Nick in exhausted distress. 

Nick took a deep breath and rose from the sofa, gently stroking his daughter’s hair — her scalp seeming to be one of the few places the spots hadn’t reached.

“Come on, mon petit chou,” he murmured softly, the words sitting differently after his conversation with his dad. “Time for more Calpol, and then we’ll give that magic cream Charlie bought a go, hmmm?”

///

If Nick had thought Edie had been upset before, if he thought his heart had hurt watching his little girl try to itch her sore skin, it was nothing to the utter heartbreak he felt now. Edie was howling. There was no other word for the noise she was making as she clawed at her legs, thrashing wildly. 

Nick had only got as far as applying the Virasoothe gel to feet and legs before Edie’s tired grumbles had turned into wails.

“Okay, okay… it’s okay,” Nick reassured her, feeling like the world’s biggest liar. He wasn’t okay, and Edie certainly wasn’t either.

“Shit!” Nick was not going to cry, because it was a completely unhelpful reaction to his daughter’s distress. But he  could  have cried, easily. 

He tried to wipe the gel off her legs with his hand, smearing the residue on his t-shirt without care, but Edie continued to sob.

“Right… bath! Yes, let’s… bath.” Nick scooped his distraught daughter into his arms and quickly ran up the stairs with her. He then poured the last of their oats straight into the tub, not bothering to faff with the sock Charlie had used last night, and turned the taps on.

A few minutes later a hiccoughing Edie was sat in the bath, looking miserable and exhausted, but at least no longer screaming. Nick sagged, resting his head on the edge of the bath as he tried to calm his racing thoughts (‘ you are failing at parenting’ ), and his racing heart.

When his phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to see a message from Charlie, asking how Edie was, Nick could only summon up the brain power to respond with a crying emoji.

Not even a minute later, Nick’s phone buzzed again. This time with an incoming call, Charlie’s beaming face lighting up his screen.

Nick swallowed and inhaled a shaky breath before answering. “Hey,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound as bad as he felt.

“Hey.” 

Just the sound of Charlie’s voice, so full of sympathy and compassion, had the lump in Nick’s throat expanding at an alarming pace. He didn’t say anything in response, he didn’t dare.

“How’s Edie doing?” Charlie asked softly. “Are you okay?”

Nick exhaled. “She’s in the bath again.”

“The bath seems to help then?”

Nick nodded, even though he knew Charlie couldn’t see him. “Yeah. I’ve used the last of the oats.” He didn’t know why his mouth felt it was necessary to share that piece of information.

“I’ll pick some more up on the way home,” Charlie said. “Is she still trying to scratch the spots?”

One hand poised behind Edie’s back, just in case, Nick leaned his forehead back on the bathtub. “It’s so awful, Char,” Nick whispered. “I used that gel and she went ballistic. I’ve never—” Nick swallowed. “I feel completely out of my depth.”

“Oh, love,” Charlie sighed sadly. “I’m sorry. Everything said it would help! Oh, Edie… I wish I was at home. Maybe I cou—”

“No.” Nick shook his head. “No, I’m sorry I’m just… exhausted. And I spoke to my dad which always leaves me feeling… yeah.”

“We’ll order takeaway tonight, whatever you want. And as soon as I’m home you can go and have a nap,” Charlie said, so much care in his voice. “Apparently the first few days are the worst, but I’ll be home on Friday to help, and the whole weekend. Hopefully by Monday she’ll be on the mend?” 

“Yeah,” Nick tried to smile. “Sounds good.”

“Did, um…” Charlie hesitated. “Did your dad understand?”

Nick humphed. “I don’t even think he’d remembered,” he muttered bitterly. 

“What?” Charlie asked, all softness evaporating. “About us coming this weekend? No, he can’t have forgotten. His wife only messaged on Monday checking food preferences and stuff.”

Nick hummed. “Maybe. He didn’t seem too disappointed.”

There was a brief pause, and when Charlie spoke again it was with his earlier caring tone. “I’m sure he is, but maybe he just didn’t want you to feel bad?”

“Yeah, possibly.” 

“And I’ve checked our flights, there’s a fee but it’s really not too bad. We can rebook for the end of the month or something.”

Nick hadn’t even thought about changing their flights, he’d just assumed they’d lose their money and their trip to Paris would be indefinitely on hold. Despite himself, despite how he’d ended the call with his dad feeling, something like hope flared in Nick’s chest. 

“Yeah?” he asked hopefully. 

“Yeah. Let me have a look, check our diary and maybe I can message Martine in the group chat she set up? See if they’d be free if we went in a few weeks instead?”

It hadn’t escaped Nick’s notice that his dad hadn’t been part of the chat his step-mum had created. His step-mum who he’d only met five times in the last eight years.

“Okay,” Nick said, trying not to get his hopes up too much. “That would be… I’d really like that, if you’re sure—”

“Absolutely,” Charlie replied, and Nick could hear his tentative smile through the phone’s speaker. Then he sighed. “I probably need to get back to work. But I’ll sort this all out from my desk. And I’ll be home as soon as I can. With oats. Give Edie a kiss from me?”

“Thanks, Char,” Nick said, a real smile on his face for the first time all day. “See you in a few hours.”

///

Nick really needed a wee. But Edie really needed daddy cuddles and sleep, and those two things didn’t appear to be compatible. 

So instead, Nick sat on the sofa watching episode after episode of Bluey, whilst his daughter slept in his arms. Every so often she’d wake up and cry, fidget and rub at her sore skin, before finding a position that must have been just slightly more comfortable, and falling back to sleep again. 

His cold cup of tea sat about six feet out of reach, along with the cereal bar he’d grabbed for himself when he realised it was past lunchtime, and there was no way Edie would go down for long enough for him to make something more substantial. 

Nick tipped his head back against the sofa, and closed his eyes. Maybe he could get in a little nap—

The doorbell rang, jolting Nick upright in a disorientated panic. He wasn’t sure if he’d actually fallen asleep or just drifted, but his bladder now screamed with urgency.

Edie, miraculously, slept on in his arms. 

Nick was tempted to ignore the doorbell — no one important showed up unannounced at two in the afternoon, and parcels were usually left behind the wheelie bin anyway. But he really,  really  needed the toilet, so he supposed he might as well answer the door on the way upstairs anyway.

With a weary sigh, he carefully stood and shuffled into the hall, somehow managing not to jostle Edie awake.

He’d been expecting the postman, Amazon, or maybe even a cold caller. So Nick was surprised to find Julio Spring on the doorstep, carrying two Bags For Life.

“Hi!” Julio greeted with a wide smile, then his eyes landed on the sleeping Edie and he dropped his voice to a whisper.  “Sorry! Hey. Charlie texted, said Edie’s got chickenpox and obviously you wouldn’t need a lift on Friday.”

“Oh,” Nick said stupidly, still half asleep and very aware that if he didn’t use the toilet soon he was going to be in trouble. 

“How’s she doing?” 

Nick shifted from one foot to the other. “She’s okay. Baths are helping. She just wants to be held all the time.”

Julio offered him a sad smile. “Poor mite.” He held up the two bags. “Charlie said oats were helping? But the gel he’d bought made her scream.”

Nick nodded, and only then did it occur to him to invite Charlie’s dad in. Whilst Charlie was at work. 

“Sorry, did you want to….” he trailed off, shuffling backwards and gesturing for Julio to enter. 

“Thanks Nick,” Charlie’s dad said as he stepped inside. “I won’t stay long. But I picked up a few things from Sainsburys that I thought might help.” 

Nick closed the door with his elbow, his eyes darting up the stairs. He belatedly realised Julio had said something. 

“Oh, thank you? You didn’t—”

“No problem.” Julio lifted both bags and nodded toward the hallway. “Want me to put these in the kitchen?”

Nick bit his lip, shifting from one foot to another. “I’m sorry,” he said in a rush, walking backwards towards the stairs.. “I just need to… toilet!” 

“Oh, I remember those days — trapped under a sleeping Olly and absolutely bursting for the loo,” Julio said with a sympathetic smile. Then his brow furrowed as he looked at Nick, who was already on the third step. 

“Nick,” Julio called gently, setting the bags down and stepping forward with open arms. “Do you want me to hold Edie?”

Nick looked down at his daughter. She was still asleep, her cheeks red and her bare torso covered in nasty red spots.

“Thank you, but I don’t want to wake her.”

Julio gave him an amused yet kind smile. “I was just thinking you might need your hands free?”

Nick felt his cheeks heat. “Oh.”

Nick continued to look at her, finally calm in his arms. She would scream, Nick knew she would. If he passed her to Julio, there was no way she’d stay asleep. With the way she was at the moment, she’d scream no matter who she was passed to, but definitely someone like Julio who she’d only met a handful of times.

“If she wakes up I can sing to her or something,” Julio reassured.

Nick couldn’t stop himself from jiggling up and down on the step he was still stood on. 

“She’ll definitely wake, and she’ll scream,” Nick groaned softly, not having the brain power to censor himself.

“Will she scream if you have to put her down on the floor?” 

Nick pursed his lips and nodded.

Julio lowered his hands and gave Nick a look filled with so much kindness, Nick couldn’t look away. 

“It’s okay Nick, you do what you think is best. But looking after your needs makes you a good parent, and I promise she might be upset, but she’ll be okay with me for a few minutes. If you’d like me to hold her. Or I can go make a cup of tea maybe?”

Nick hesitated for only a second, before taking two quick steps back down and very carefully holding Edie out to Julio. The older man’s answering smile had Nick smiling in return, even as Edie immediately woke and started crying. 

“One minute, mon chou!” Nick called as he turned and raced up the stairs.

///

Edie screamed the entire time Nick was in the bathroom. He half expected to come downstairs to find Julio ready to throw Edie back at him and bolt straight out the door. Instead he found him in the sitting room, swaying side to side with Edie against his chest, singing  Frère Jacques  under his breath.

Edie wailed even louder the second she spotted Nick, flinging herself backwards in Julio’s arms in a desperate attempt to get to her daddy.

“There, I said he wouldn’t be long,” Julio soothed, quickly passing her back. Edie calmed almost instantly, and Julio gave her a soft smile. “Poor little thing. She’s absolutely covered isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Nick sighed sadly, his eyes tracing the angry spots covering her small body.

“Well, I bought some more oats. And Jane says she knows it’s old fashioned, but that calamine lotion helped both Charlie and Tori, so I grabbed a bottle of that too. Wasn’t sure what else you might need, but I just got a few basics, bread, milk, that sort of thing. Oh, and a ready-made lasagne. Will Charlie eat lasagne?” Julio frowned thoughtfully. “I know there was a time he wouldn’t, but… anyway, I figured it might save either of you having to cook. Maybe I should have picked up something else?”

“Charlie likes lasagne,” Nick offered. “He won’t  make  it, but he’ll eat it.”

Julio beamed. “Excellent!” He gestured towards the hall. “I’ll just go put these away for you.”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that,” Nick said, feeling a little awkward. This was the type of unexpected visit his mum would make — and had made several times those first few months of Edie’s life. But Charlie’s dad popping in like this… he couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“It’s okay,” Julio smiled, nodding to Edie. “Your hands are full.”

And with that, he disappeared into the hall. Nick stood in the middle of the sitting room, unsure if he should follow. After a moment Nick leaned down, grabbed his full, cold cup of tea and headed to the kitchen.

Julio was already putting things in the fridge. He gave Nick a smile over his shoulder before carrying on. “I’m afraid I’m just putting things wherever, hope I’m not ruining any system.”

Nick managed a small chuckle as he emptied his cup down the sink. “No system. Not anymore anyway… Charlie tried when he first moved in. But then we stopped eating separately and the fridge quickly fell back into my chaotic mess.”

Julio laughed. “Sounds like me and Jane. I do the shopping most weeks, then she’ll come in and organise it  just so . I try but…”

“Yeah,” Nick grinned. “Charlie gets frustrated when I don’t put the cheese back in the door.” He wrinkled his nose, feeling somewhat contrite. 

“Jane has labelled tupperware for everything,” Julio said with a wide smile as he closed the fridge door. “Heaven forbid I leave the cheese in the packaging it comes in!” The affection in his tone was unmistakable.

They smiled at each other for a moment, and then Julio looked around the slightly messy kitchen. It wasn’t bad, but Nick hadn’t even attempted to clean up from breakfast, and Edie’s untouched porridge and yogurt were both abandoned haphazardly on the side, a pile of used teabags sat next to the kettle, and the toast Nick had tried to make around midday was still in the toaster, long forgotten.

Nick shifted, embarrassment creeping up his spine. He opened his mouth to apologise for the mess, to explain he didn’t know where the day had gone but most of it had been spent rocking Edie, bathing Edie, or cuddling a sleeping Edie. Before he could formulate words though, the little girl herself started fidgeting in his arms again, her soft whimpers quickly escalating.

“Hopefully she’s hungry,” Nick said, gently rocking side to side. “She’s gone off actual food and has barely had any milk today.”

“Poor thing. I’d offer to make her a bottle for you,” Julio said, moving towards the kettle. “But I’m afraid I wouldn’t know where to start. Some things your brain decides are no longer relevant, even if you spent years of your life being able to do it in your sleep, and wipes all knowledge of it from your memory.”

“Thanks,” Nick smiled, opening the fridge door. “Charlie made a batch before work this morning though.”

“Ah, good.” Julio took the kettle to the sink and began filling it. “I can make tea though, and I noticed your last one went untouched. So why don’t I make us a fresh one, if you don’t mind me joining you for a cup?”

Nick paused, his hand just wrapping around Edie’s bottle.

“Or I can just make you one and head off, if you’re not feeling up to company,” Julio continued, the click of the kettle punctuating his words. “I know that when I’m tired, the last thing I want is to make conversation.”

Nick didn’t know Julio well, but he felt a surprising flicker of disappointment at the thought of him leaving already. He loved his daughter dearly, but being home alone with her poorly had made for a long, lonely day. And it was still several hours until Charlie would get home.

“Honestly, a bit of company would be nice,” Nick admitted. 

Julio beamed. “Excellent! How do you have your tea? You go get comfy in the sitting room, no offense — and I don’t want to sound too much like a dad — but you look absolutely shattered, son.”

Nick’s throat tightened, the words landing with unexpected warmth. He swallowed thickly and let out a breathy laugh. “No offense taken. I am.”

///

“So after that we had to put a lock on the toilet lid,” Julio chuckled. 

Nick laughed softly, being careful not to disturb Edie who was once again asleep in his arms. 

He’d managed to drink his tea before it went cold this time, and had even eaten two slices of warm, buttery toast that Julio had carried through with their drinks. He hadn’t said anything, just placed the plate on the sofa beside Nick before taking the small chair opposite. 

And then they’d talked — about the weather, because they were British after all, and about Julio’s job, Nick’s work, and finally about toddler Charlie’s obsession with testing which of his toys floated and which sank.

He felt lighter than he’d felt since the night before, and a lot happier than he had thought possible after having to cancel their weekend to Paris.

“You’ve got all this fun to come!” Julio continued. 

“She already shoves anything she can find out the cat flap,” Nick said with a soft smile. “Charlie and I just laugh about it for now. But sometimes I worry I’m too soft on her. Like maybe I should be… I don’t know, setting boundaries? But she’s not even eleven months old yet, and I just can’t bring myself to be cross with her. I probably need to read some parenting books or something — figure out what’s age appropriate. I did loads of research before she was born — skin-to-skin contact, sleep schedules, wake windows... all of it. But now she’s nearly one and…” He trailed off, swallowing. “She’s just grown so fast. Changed so much. And maybe I’m not doing enough to support her development?”

“Nick,” Julio said softly, his expression endlessly kind. “I’m not saying don’t read up a bit if it helps you feel more confident. But honestly? I think you’re being really hard on yourself. I know we haven’t known each other long, but Charlie has — and right from the beginning it was obvious how much he believes in you as a dad. And from everything I’ve seen? He’s right.”

He looked down at Edie and smiled. “Yeah, read a book if you want. But anyone can see how much you adore her. How deeply you care about doing right by her. That’s what matters most. Trust yourself a little more. You’re a great dad, Nick. And that doesn’t come from a manual. It comes from what’s in here.”

Julio gently tapped his chest, just over his heart.

Nick looked away, blinking hard. The back of his throat felt tight. “Thanks, Julio,” he said quietly, his voice a little hoarse.

///

“So, your dad told me about your obsession with toilets.”

Charlie pressed himself closer to Nick, one leg resting between Nick’s. “What?” he asked, clearly confused.

“Apparently they had to put a lock on the toilet after you decided to give Kitty a bath in there, and you sobbed for two days whilst she got washed and dried.”

Charlie barked out a confused laugh. “I have absolutely no memory of that!”

“Hmmm,” Nick teased, running his fingers through Charlie’s curls. “Kitty was the final straw. But everything from your dad’s glasses to Tori’s Teletubby figures went for a swim for a while. According to your dad.”

“If I’d known he was just going to feed you embarrassing stories I’d have told him to drop the shopping on the doorstep!” Charlie huffed, but Nick could hear the smile on his lips.

Something in Nick’s chest twinged. “Did you… did you ask him to come in then?”

Charlie fidgeted for a moment, before finally resting his head on Nick’s chest and sighing happily. 

“No, trust me I did not suggest he harass you when you were already busy looking after a poorly Edie,” Charlie said. “I hope he didn’t stay too long?”

Nick smiled, tilting his head down to kiss the top of Charlie’s head. “He didn’t stay too long. But… It was nice. He’s nice. He made me toast.”

It was dark in their bedroom, despite the fact it was barely nine at night. Edie had finally settled in her cot a short time ago, and they’d decided to go straight to bed themselves in preparation for another disturbed night. Although the calamine lotion had seemed to help a little.

Nick didn’t need to see to know Charlie was looking up at him now though. 

“He… made you toast?” Charlie asked, confused.

Nick chuckled softly. “Yeah, and he sorted out the breakfast things. God Char, I felt so embarrassed after he left and I went into the kitchen and realised he’d cleaned up my mess. Piled everything up next to the sink and wiped the worktop down. Disposed of my abandoned toast and… made me fresh?”

Charlie laid back down on Nick’s chest. “I’m glad he helped. He’s a good dad. Terrible cook, terrible sense of humour, and a tendency to just… roll with things when sometimes… but, yeah. I know I’m lucky.”

Nick’s heart clenched again. “Yeah, you are.”

“I didn’t ask him,” Charlie said quietly after a long pause. “To come over I mean. Or to buy the oats and the lotion.”

“You didn’t?” Nick said in surprise.

He tried to picture his own dad popping over unprompted. Let alone bringing supplies with him and making sure Nick was fed and watered before leaving. Admittedly it was hard to compare with his dad in another country, but even if Stéphane Fournier had lived two miles away, Nick couldn’t imagine him ever doing what Julio had done today.

“No, he was just worried. About you, and Edie. I texted to let him know we wouldn’t need him to take us to the airport and why. He called me to ask how Edie was and then… the next thing I know he’s messaging, asking what size nappies Edie is in and descending on you unannounced.”

Nick swallowed again, not trusting his voice.

“But it’s only because he cares,” Charlie continued gently. “I hope that’s okay?”

It took Nick a moment to process that Charlie was asking a question. “That what’s okay?”

“Just…” Charlie’s fingers began tracing a slow, soothing pattern over Nick’s chest. “I hope he wasn’t overstepping.”

Nick pulled Charlie in tighter, shaking his head. “No, not at all. I was… surprised. But really fucking touched.”

Charlie stretched up, just managing to press a quick kiss to Nick’s jaw before settling back against his chest. “Dad’s big on family,” he said simply, as if it explained everything.

The words echoed in Nick’s head, reverberating through his chest, shaking his understanding of the word.  Family.  

The meaning shifted, growing and evolving as Nick processed everything that had happened that day. 

Not much later, as Nick drifted off to sleep with Charlie wrapped around him, he found himself wondering if, one day, that family — Charlie’s family — might grow enough to make room for him and Edie too.