Work Text:
Kaveh has a problem.
Sure, anyone else would say that this a blessing, he's lucky. That he should be happy, maybe even grateful. That this means he has the path laid out for a happy future.
But those people don't know him. They couldn't possibly understand the conundrum, the absolute headache of this problem. It's not that easy. It really isn't.
It's just not easy being in love with Alhaitham.
Now, don't misunderstand. Contrary to popular belief (and Kaveh's own explicit unfavorable words at times), Alhaitham isn't difficult to love. He seems to purposefully make himself harder to love at times, but the fact remains that he is, by many people. He is easy to love without even trying. Yes, he's prickly, but anyone enjoying a sun ripened rambutan's sweet, juicy center would know not to shy away from the prickly looking exterior that's protecting the tender flesh inside. Kaveh knows this, he's known this. Has he appreciated it? Like, at all, in his youth since meeting Alhaitham? No, he can readily admit that now. But he's seen the peek behind the spikes, he knows that pale, sweet flesh is behind there. Others know it too. The ones that matter, the ones that stayed long enough to know it and were allowed close enough to see it.
And the problem isn't that now Kaveh knows about Alhaitham's true self, it's not even that he loves that self. He's been through all that already, he's worked on himself, he's grown, he's a man who can admit to being in love with someone even after all they've been through, together and apart from each other. All that admitting his feelings to himself, and accepting that this is how his heart has chosen to anchor itself, yes it took a while and yes it was difficult, but he's got that figured out now. Kaveh isn't looking for another existential crisis after realizing that he's in love with his best friend, roommate, his mirror and strange partner in crime and most other things. No thanks, he's all settled into that now.
So... what's the problem then?
The problem is that now, unlike before, now Kaveh wants something. He was content before just sharing a space, a life with Alhaitham. It was safe, comfortable, hell, even healing to him at a time where he didn't think that possible. Life with Alhaitham is, indisputably, shockingly, devastatingly... good. It's good and it's warm, and it honestly makes Kaveh happy just the way it is. But that's the problem. He's happy, life is good the way they are already. But his heart isn't satisfied. In fact, it aches, every single day. Kaveh is satisfied, happy. But it's his heart that wants more. It's not content with them just living together, with their friendship-that's-slightly-closer-than-just-friends. Kaveh's heart is demanding the whole deal, the entire package and all that that entails. Kaveh's selfish heart wants Alhaitham's, it wants to dance with his, hold his, commit to his.
Kaveh's problem is that now he wants to take the next step. He wants to confess, he wants to ask Alhaitham to be his. And that's a problem indeed.
The thing is that Alhaitham is complicated. He is a simple man in many ways. He's clear about his likes and dislikes, he has a schedule he sticks to and habits you'd have to wrench out of his cold, dead hands. He wears mostly the same outfits and he's very easy to please on most days. But he's complex too. Because he's also an orphan with a terrible past, he's a shut in who's found companionship in the pages of books for most of his life, and his attempts at making connections in his early life consistently burned him until be decided that he didn't want connections anyway, people bore him. And, well, even when he did make one strong connection, that didn't just burn him, it scarred him, disfigured him. There's that gash in his heart that Kaveh knows the shape of because he fits right into the hollow of it. It's always been there, even now, and while they're friends, they're comfortable around each other and a lot has been mended, the lasting mark is that Alhaitham doesn't think Kaveh can love him. Or at least, that he won't mean it to last. That, just like last time, Kaveh will burn the bridge and tear another hole in that tender, sweet little rambutan core. Kaveh knows he won't, he's well aware of this and he can easily feel in his heart the devotion and love. He's not here for a short love affair, he's not here for Alhaitham's body (though... yeah that's certainly a perk he's been hoping to gain access to too). He's in it for the long run. He's been fantasizing about their old age together, for god's sake! Wrinkly hands and too strong coffee bickering from each of their rocking chairs, it's embarrassing! But he thinks about that a lot, aging with Alhaitham, growing old together, with all the in between, it's what he wants. Which means he's also thought about marriage, whether they should raise children together. Kaveh isn't sure he wants to, but if Alhaitham does then maybe he might grow into the thought.
So, Kaveh clearly is serious about this. He's very serious about it, actually. It's making his heart ache whenever he enjoys a moment with Alhaitham and he's struck again with the feeling of wanting him.
But that's the heart of the problem that Kaveh has. That's why it's a problem and not just a wonderful, lucky thing. It's just not that easy.
How can he confess to someone who so firmly and unwaveringly believes that he's unlovable? And how does he convince someone, who finds it utterly impossible for Kaveh to have feelings for him, that he in fact loves Alhaitham so much it's really getting unbearable not having him?
And look, Kaveh tries, okay? He actually is a lot more forthcoming about his feelings. It's just... it's a little awkward, with Alhaitham being, well, Alhaitham, he can't just outright confess, after years of having his heart burned, words aren't enough, surely not. Kaveh has to prove it, he's gotta show it. He wants actions to speak for him. Words can just be lies, there's no guarantee; so Alhaitham would probably say. Worse than that, if Alhaitham thinks Kaveh is just toying with him, he might get his feelings hurt, he might close himself off even more and Kaveh can wave goodbye to any hope of ever being more than friends.
No he's gotta do this right. He's gotta let Alhaitham know how he feels, without something as unreliable as words and communication.
Kaveh's gonna solve his problem, he's a doer. He'll make Alhaitham know how he feels and have his heart for certain.
--
Well, the first issue already is... Alhaitham, for all his incredible smarts, is actually rather oblivious. It's endearing, Kaveh finds it so anyway. Alhaitham's definitely got intuition and cunning, but in some ways he's a bit naive, a bit childish. Kaveh finds this to be very sweet of course, but it means Kaveh has to be firmer in his hinting.
This is something he realizes when he's attempting a confession one evening at the tavern. They were tipsy, all four of them, and Kaveh described his dream lover. He was being... a little subtle, in his defense. But he was very clearly describing Alhaitham. But when Alhaitham, at the end of Kaveh's colorful descriptions, shook his head disapprovingly, Kaveh knew it was a failure.
"With such unrealistic expectations for a partner, it's no wonder you haven't yet been able to find a partner. I'd suggest adjusting your requirements if you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life."
He'd said, dismissing the rather accurate description of himself entirely as someone who couldn't possibly exist. Tighnari and Cyno had both slumped in defeat, but they'd both very adamantly refused to get involved with Kaveh's confession attempts, so it wasn't like Kaveh expected them to step in or say anything. At best they were just an unwilling audience to Kaveh's current endeavor.
So, simple, underhanded hinting while drunk in a public establishment among friends during a truth or dare game isn't gonna cut it. Alhaitham's really making this difficult for him. Perhaps he should be trying something less predictable...
--
If Alhaitham is such a fan of language and books, surely the written word will work.
Kaveh sets out on a mission to write a poem. In all fairness it's probably his best work, given that he's never once written poems before, and really, wooing anyone is rather unfamiliar to him. All previous relationships before this he'd never been in the pursuing role. He wasn't the one giving flowers (hold on, that's an idea) or writing poems to his love. But he is now and it's... very difficult.
How does Alhaitham do it? He strings words together like he wields a blade, precise, calculated, and annoyingly perfect. His penmanship is so elegant but neat, to the point. It's beautiful in the way it wastes no effort but still light and even to make it beautiful. That's the thing with Alhaitham's hands, they're a lot gentler, softer, than they appear. His don't have the callouses and scratches that Kaveh's do, they're slimmer, fingers and palm longer and thinner than Kaveh's, but the skin is soft, unmarked. In another life, he would've had the perfect hands for a pianist. When he holds things it makes Kaveh wonder how it would feel if it were his own hands held so gently in Alhaitham's pretty, pretty hands. Maybe he just has the perfect hands for Kaveh to hold.
The paper sits folded in Kaveh's hand, despite this being an otherwise normal evening, Kaveh's hands are clammy as he walks up to where Alhaitham is sitting on the divan, reading peacefully. Kaveh shifts the paper with the poem in his hands, if he keeps having this damp fingers he'll ruin the paper. Alhaitham looks up when Kaveh approaches, and something in the way Kaveh looks as he walks up makes Alhaitham reach up to switch off the noise canceling on his headphones and close his book, laying it closed on his thighs.
Kaveh says nothing as he holds out the paper, stands still as Alhaitham slowly opens the paper and reads its contents.
In the silence between twirls of incense, the warmth of a shared meal, the breaths in passing, it's there.
Gemstone and feathers, gold and teal, wine and fruit, this is home, it is real.
A look shared, words unspoken, my resolve, my will, it is broken.
Hours, days, a lifetime, the air is different, the stars brighter.
I look up and I know the silence, I know the warmth, I know the home.
My hand outstretched, now, I ask you to give me the rest.
Kaveh's heart is beating fast in his chest as he watches Alhaitham's sharp eyes scan the words on the paper. His lips quiver, wanting to say more, to elaborate on the poem he wrote, to give context, or excuses. It's a little nerve-wracking to be honest, watching Alhaitham take in the poem that Kaveh wrote to confess his feelings for him.
But then, suddenly and without a word, Alhaitham stands up, holding the paper in his hands and still keeping his eyes glued to the words on it. He walks off just as suddenly, leaving the book on the coffee table, and disappears into his room with the door snapping closed behind him.
Kaveh stands there in silence, eyes wide as he tries to grasp what just happened. Did... did he accept it? Is he so shocked that he had to recover privately? Or is he so embarrassed that he's hiding away? Kaveh... can't really tell. But this is Alhaitham, he's gotta just give him space to work out whatever just happened on his own.
The rest of the evening passes with Alhaitham never exiting his room and Kaveh has retired to his own room to get some late night work done. It's hard to concentrate, knowing Alhaitham read the confession poem and just ran off into his room without a word. Kaveh can't tell if that was a good or a bad reaction. He's not even sure how a good reaction to being confessed to would look on Alhaitham.
Kaveh flinches at the sound of a knock on his door and he gives Alhaitham permission to enter. In his night clothes and clearly all done to retire for the night, Alhaitham walks in with the paper in his hands. He places the folded paper on Kaveh's desk wordlessly. Then, he turns back around and leaves, closing the door behind him.
Confused, and more than a little worried, Kaveh takes the paper, unfolds it, and-
The poem has been marked with red pen all over. Comments are added along some lines, suggestions for word replacement, better flow, different pacing are added like little sprinkles on Kaveh's heartfelt love poem. It's very meticulous and well thought out critisicm, to be fair. And in the bottom corner there's a small note, like the grade for an exam paper.
'It's alright for a first time attempt. Try using iambic pantameter for a better rhythm.'
Kaveh laughs, leans back in his seat and just laughs. He lifts up the poem, eyes softening at the red penmanship scattered all over the text. There are circles around certain words. He's circled the 'gold and teal' with the comment 'Context?'. Ah, of course.
So, poetry was a bust.
--
Kaveh's shuffling the bouquet in his arms.
Surely this will actually get the message across. Surely he's not gonna be able to misunderstand this. It's flowers, you give flowers to the people you love.
Did he do overboard on the size of it? Yes, but Kaveh doesn't do things halfway. He's confessing his love here, to Alhaitham. This isn't just an everyday occurrence, it's just about the biggest thing in his life. Aside from completing his magnum opus, graduating, losing his father. Even so, it's really up there. This is his future, if the reason he doesn't get to spend the of his life with Alhaitham is determined by him cheaping out on the amount of carnations he put in his confession bouquet, then by god he'll be stuffing that bundle with as many flowers as it can hold. He only gets to do this for the first time once.
Kaveh doesn't find Alhaitham in the house when he comes home with the bouquet. It's a nice afternoon out, which means Kaveh's second look is in the small yard behind their house where he indeed finds Alhaitham sitting in the shade. He had the day off, so he's probably been out here reading all day. Kaveh's heart clenches at the serene sight as he steps outside to join Alhaitham in the yard. Alhaitham's eyes only open when Kaveh crouches in front of him and he quickly eyes the bouquet that Kaveh is holding behind his back.
And in a split second, Kaveh sees a minute, fraction of a shift in Alhaitham's expression, his eyes widen just slightly, his brows shift, there's something in his eyes that sparkle to life and it's- it's not the expression Kaveh's hoping for. The small furrow between Alhaitham's brows is not the joy of receiving a love confession. If anything, its the first flickers of someone's reaction to being broken up with. Someone who just had his heart broken.
"I-"
Immediately Kaveh's panic ignites, he stammers and holds out the bouquet.
"Look what a client gave me today-! Isn't it ridiculous? They're beautiful don't get me wrong, but why spend so much on flowers when they could've just paid me a bigger commission!"
He nudges the offending bouquet towards Alhaitham.
"Here, you take it off my hands. Maybe some of them you can propagate or something, seems like you got nothing better to do right now anyway."
Then, with the bouquet deposited on Alhaitham's lap, Kaveh stands up, turning on his heel and rushing back inside, managing just before he curls over where he stands with nausea and regret burbling in his gut and throat.
What the hell was that??
Gods...
Kaveh is pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes, his heart still racing. What just happened? He'd been so ready to confess with those flowers, he'd even studied the flower language of them, it was perfect. But whatever just happened, as miniscule and brief as it had been, on Alhaitham's face, had snuffed out any courage Kaveh had just conjured up.
Hands scrubbing his eyes, frustrated and discouraged, Kaveh glances out the window, catching a glimpse of Alhaitham still sitting outside, having picked up the flowers and smelling one of the lilies, before he storms back out of the house to find the tavern so he can lick his wounds.
--
New plan. Subtle hints at attraction is pointless. Poems are too vague, Alhaitham can't make the connection that its aimed at him. Flowers is too big a romantic gesture, clearly. So maybe something a bit smaller. Easier.
There are many ways to show affection and love. Kaveh's read book on this. These two are simple; physical touch and words of affirmation.
Kaveh's been in the House of Daena specifically reading up on these types of affection. Alhaitham has a long day, Kaveh will be able to go home and gather some of his notes and hopefully start Operation: Touch and Praise Alhaitham A Lot by the time Alhaitham comes home. He makes sure to return the books to the shelves, he can't be seen reading up on love languages and tips to be affectionate with a romantic partner (the House of Daena didn't have any books on how to be affectionate with a former best friend now roommate with a complicated history and conflicting mentalities, so he had to go for second best).
The door is unlocked when Kaveh comes home and he smells cooking the moment he steps inside. Despite that putting a wrench in Kaveh's plan to prepare his strategy for this new affection tactic, he mostly just feels a blooming warmth as the scent of fragrant spices and the small clicks and clanking of someone cooking in the kitchen. With his shoes off and cloak hung by the entrance, Kaveh indeed finds Alhaitham in the kitchen, his back to Kaveh as he fries small pieces of flatbread on the stove.
With his heart in his throat, Kaveh sucks in a breath and walks closer, gathering his courage even as Alhaitham shifts his head just slightly, not looking at Kaveh, but acknowledging that he's noticed his presence, Kaveh walks up next to Alhaitham. His hand feels sweaty but he demands it to be still as he lifts it, places it on Alhaitham's back, tentatively sliding it down just a little towards the small of his back.
"You had a longer day at work and you're still cooking dinner? You're amazing."
Alhaitham doesn't seem to react, he jerks his head the smallest bit in a half hearted, noncommital nod and hums.
"Hm."
He shakes the flatbread pieces in the oil and picks up a strainer to pick up the pieces with no further elaboration.
Kaveh tries again. It feels a bit weird to be saying these things out loud. This is why he'd wanted to practice first.
"It smells great already. Thanks for making dinner, Alhaitham."
Kaveh's thumb shifts, lightly rubbing back and forth on the small of Alhaitham's back in an idle motion.
After depositing the flatbread on a dripping tray, Alhaitham looks up just a little, looking ahead of himself at nothing Kaveh can really see worth looking at. Then, as if coming back to himself, Alhaitham turns to Kaveh in one, smooth and surprisingly quick motion. Now face to face with Kaveh he speaks.
"You're standing too close, I can smell your breath."
Like burned, Kaveh recoils, mouth agape with offence and indignation.
"Ah-!? Why I-!! I brushed my teeth this morning, my breath does not smell! See if I compliment you again, you ungrateful little.."
Kaveh moves away, taking his hand with him and for a moment Kaveh feels as if he caught another glimpse of that expression he saw back on the day with the flowers. But he can't make the connection, this is impossible. This is why Kaveh says Alhaitham is complex, it's just not possible to figure out what he wants at all, it's hopeless!
Steering back to the original plan, Kaveh leaves for his room while Alhaitham continues to cook his stupid, delicious smelling dinner with his stupid pretty hands holding the utensils and his stupid stunning eyes intent on the dish he's making.
This isn't working at all. Why is it so difficult, hasn't he tried it all at this point? Kaveh thought the hard should've been realizing his feelings at all, but this is somehow worse. He can't place it, there's this look in Alhaitham's eyes whenever he gets close to realizing what Kaveh is trying to do, like the thought of Kaveh confessing to him is the worst possible thing that could happen. But the feeling Kaveh is sensing isn't even disgust or discomfort, it looks more like something frightened. It's a big and very uncharacteristic emotion to put on Alhaitham, so Kaveh's taking it with a grain of salt, but... why would that even be the response? Even if he didn't return Kaveh's feelings, why would his expression turn into fear when Kaveh confesses? It's not right, it doesn't make sense. And now, Kaveh doesn't know what to do. Where does he go from here?
Well, at the very least he can't sit in here sulking that his approaches weren't met with the right response. Again, maybe he's just being too subtle.
By the time Kaveh comes out of his room, in no better shape to be continuing Operation: Touch and Praise Alhaitham A Lot, Alhaitham has moved from the kitchen to the dining table, placing plates and cutlery for two with a neutral expression. Kaveh walks closer as Alhaitham disappears and reappears with a plate of the dish he was making. Kaveh's heart lurches in his chest, his throat closes and his pulse quickens.
"Why did you make that?" he asks, pointing at the Fatteh that Alhaitham is placing on the table.
Alhaitham just shrugs. "It's what I felt like making, so I made it."
Kaveh stands there, staring at Alhaitham, stares at his cooking apron that he's in the middle of untying and pulling off, his simple leisure clothes that he's changed into right as he came home. Kaveh's eyes catch Alhaitham's eyes, the gemstones, glittering in a perfect trifecta of hues, his hair, the feathers, slightly messed after standing by the stove. His steady posture and proud shoulders, his long, slender hands with the soft fingertips, his freckled forearms, his narrow hips, his long legs. His face, his clever and unapologetic mouth, his strong, straight nose, his sword eyebrows, and rounded cheeks, his birthmark under his eye and above his lip. He sees Alhaitham, the home. And the words come out without him even realizing he opened his mouth.
"You're so beautiful."
A silence passes in a haze and Kaveh isn't even really sure if its just a second that passes or a whole minute, but Alhaitham shifts on his feet and pull up a shoulder.
"Right. Eat your dinner, the bread is going to get soggy if you don't."
Alhaitham says, shifting as if to take a seat and wholly ignoring Kaveh's outburst. That jolts Kaveh back into action.
"Wait! Hold on, that's not what I wanted to say. I was trying to say I love you." Kaveh continues, feeling desperation well up. He was saying this entirely wrong. This is why he knew saying it wasn't the right way to do it, it would just go wrong.
"I already put the yogurt on, you're the one who's insistent on eating right when it's been plated. So just eat already."
Before Alhaitham gets to move to his seat, Kaveh has grabbed him and pushed him towards the wall, just to corner him, irritation is prickling at Kaveh's mind as he glares at Alhaitham's neutral expression.
"Will you just listen to me!?"
Alhaitham's expression doesn't change. His head is tilted slightly upwards as he regards Kaveh with his eyes angled down at him, mouth in a firm line and brows low. A lesser man would crumble under the weight of being regarded as such, but Kaveh stands tall against it, he's used to it, he thrives in it. He's never grown as much as when he's been looked at with these eyes from this angle.
"I have been listening. You just don't know how to use your words."
"Argh! This is impossible!! You're impossible!!" Kaveh bursts, temper rising. He steps away from Alhaitham and turns to leave him there to go eat his damn dinner.
"The sky is blue and water is wet."
But then he sees it, out of the corner of his eye. On Alhaitham's face, a tiny quirk of his lips, the corners raised, eyes slightly downcast, and it's unlike the tiny whispers of fear Kaveh felt he saw the last few times he encorached this topic, it's none of that. It's not fear. It's relief.
And something snaps in him, a fishing line breaking and the leviathan is loose in the open water.
He turns on the spot, not even allowing Alhaitham to step away from the wall before Kaveh's hand slams against it right next to Alhaitham's head.
"Enough!"
And to Alhaitham's credit, he doesn't move an inch from when he froze right as Kaveh slammed his hand against the wall.
"I know the game you're playing, but I'm not gonna fall for it. If you're gonna be this oblivious with everything else I've been doing these past few weeks, fine. I'll just say it so it can get through your thick skull. I'm in love with you. You understand that? I'm in love with you, Alhaitham!"
Kaveh almost feels out of breath as he finishes talking, his heart bursting with passion. But his eyes are transfixed on Alhaitham. The man is frozen, his eyes have widened as much as is probably possible for Alhaitham. His lips are slightly parted and he's just staring at Kaveh unblinkingly. Kaveh can hear the lack of breath, like Alhaitham is holding it, his body tense and hand flattened against the wall behind him. With everything else in stasis his eyes look so alive, they're boring into Kaveh's own and they're searching, digging, grasping. For what, Kaveh's not sure. Truth maybe. The hint of a lie perhaps. Whatever he finds, the expression shutters and sobers suddenly, like a curtain being drawn, Alhaitham mechanically wipes the expression clear off his face and he lowers his gaze.
He looks tired.
"You're cruel, Kaveh. That you'll do this to me again."
"Wh-"
"Do you really think I couldn't tell? That you were describing me at the tavern that night. That the poem was for me. That you bought the flowers, not your client. That you touched and praised me deliberately just now. Do you think me that ignorant?"
Kaveh shakes his head, stunned that all those failed attempts at confessing had in fact done exactly as intended, Alhaitham had gotten the message every single time. And he'd simply... played dumb? He'd simply pretended to be oblivious, but for what? Why? The only reason would be that he doesn't want Kaveh to confess. But this isn't the face of someone who just doesn't reciprocate Kaveh's feelings and feels awkward about rejecting him. This pain is deep, it's old. And it's shaped like Kaveh.
"Alhaitham, I don't-"
"Reaching is cruel when you've made it clear you have no intention of holding on."
Ah... that's right. The problem.
In all his zest to find ways to woo Alhaitham and make him realize that Kaveh was confessing, he'd forgotten the entire problem to begin with. It was never that Alhaitham can't get the hint. It's that he gets it and thinks it's a lie. It's that sees the love and believes it won't last, that it's not his to keep. That it'll be ripped away from him again. Like love always seems to do when it comes to him.
That's the problem. Not poems or flowers. Just a man who thinks he wasn't meant for love.
What a fool Kaveh has been.
"I know. I know I have. I know how it ended, how it's been. I know our mistakes, my mistakes. And I know what you've done too. Your arm is tired from all the reaching out that you've done, I haven't even raised mine to meet it, I know. It's why I'm here, it's why I did what I did. But I'm there. I'm here."
Kaveh hadn't been nervous about confessing because he'd expected a rejection. In fact, unlike Kaveh, Alhaitham has been clear that he intends to hold on. He has shown numerous times that his affection is real, that his patience is real, that his admiration is real. Whether it's exactly the type of love that Kaveh feels is uncertain, but it's never been possible to doubt that it's there. The olive branch has become dried and dusty after being held out for so long. It's shameful, after dragging the young man around in their youths, teasing a love he hadn't intended to give, that he'd fully ripped from Alhaitham's hands when they'd parted. He knows the shape of the hole he tore in that heart, he'd meant to mend it but it's so big and jagged, he hasn't known where to even start. And it's foolish, now, to think he can just write poems and buy flowers to try and mend that tear. That words are hollow in the face of silly romantic gestures. This was always the only way to do it. Use his words, Alhaitham had said.
Okay then, he'll use his words. Properly this time.
"Y'know, it's not a coincidence that I didn't say I've fallen in love with you. I said I'm in love with you, I didn't fall. It wasn't a fall. I walked in love, ran in love, clawed my way into love. I'm not here because of circumstance, I'm here willingly. I'm in love with you, with all my awareness and intent, because I want to be with you."
Carefully, Kaveh lifts his other hand between them, holds his palm open in front of Alhaitham.
"So please... wont you allow me the chance to prove it to you?"
Kaveh watches Alhaitham, watches his face while Alhaitham's staring down at Kaveh's hand. The seconds go by and the expression on Alhaitham's face is unreadable. And yet despite that, Kaveh thinks he might know exactly what's going on in that wondrously strange and complex head of his. He's aware of what's at stake, of what it'll do to him if he's burned yet again. Kaveh is too, he's all too aware. He's seen it after all, the soft and tender center inside that prickly little rambutan heart of his. It's part of why he loves him, after all. It's part of why his hand is extended, palm up, and endlessly patient as he waits for Alhaitham's answer.
And the answer comes in the form of a warm weight in Kaveh's hand. Long, slender fingers and a narrow palm. The skin is as soft against Kaveh's hand as he'd thought it would be. He closes his fingers gently around it and he smiles. His throat feels thick with joy.
With Alhaitham's hand in his, Kaveh raises them both and presses his lips to the back of Alhaitham's hand, tucking both the joined hands against his chest, close to his heart. Kaveh's eyes are burning with affection as he takes in Alhaitham's apprehensive and hesitant expression. There's a bit of hope in there too, Kaveh is pretty sure. He smiles a bit wider.
You're so brave. Despite everything.
"So. Now that I've got you all up against the wall already... would you mind it terribly if I kissed you?" Kaveh asks, bending his elbow a little where it's still propping him up against the wall next to Alhaitham's head, letting him drift just a little closer to Alhaitham's face.
"I suppose not. The bread's already gone soggy with how long it took you."
Kaveh just laughs. Right, it did take him long, but he got there in the end and he intends to stay. He leans in and kisses him, just like that, like it's the easiest thing in the world. And he concludes that Alhaitham's lips are softer than he'd ever imagined. He kisses like someone who's never done it before, Kaveh knows he hasn't, but the hint of eagerness is just too endearing. His lips aren't clumsy, none of Alhaitham is clumsy unless he's just freshly woken up, but they're slow, careful, cautious. It's everything Kaveh ever wanted, even more than that when Alhaitham's long, soft exhale escapes his nose in a quiet sigh and fans out against Kaveh's face. Yeah, definitely better than he'd imagined.
When they part, Kaveh doesn't pull back. He moves his arms, shifting closer and wrapping them around Alhaitham's shoulders. He's not sure why he feels compelled to do so, but it just felt right. He tightens his arms around Alhaitham and feels the other man wrap his arms around Kaveh's shoulders in return. It really feels like coming home. Warm, safe, right. He's got a lot of work to do, proving himself like he's promised, but he can't wait to get started.
Alhaitham's head is resting against Kaveh's, his breaths even. Vaguely, Kaveh wonders when was the last time Alhaitham was hugged.
"By the way I was being overly nice in my notes. You're really not very good at writing poems."
"Oh my god can you just be in the moment for five minutes, you brat!?"