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My name is Cardinal Lawrence Im 57 years old and my friends tell me I look like Ralph Fines (AN: an if you dont know who dat is get DA HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!!). I have short bald hair that is so shiny and I wear a red hat and dress thart is so goffic because i am a vampire. Im also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Conclave in the Vatican. I wear blood red fishnets that are the colour of blood underneath my outfit but no one exept my friend Sister Agnes whos also goffic.
I woke up in my conclave rooms which were super goffic with a vampire coffin because I am a vampire. I put on a black goffic robe and fishnets that were blood red and then I put on eyeliner to be cool and sexy but NOT GAYYYY. Sister Agnes woke up from her coffin because we shared a room and were both vampires and then she took my eyeliner.
“You look so totally hot!!!” she bawld.
“OMG i know right. Don’t be a prep bitch” I reminded her sexily.
Then we went down to the courtyard where all the prepz were vaping. They all stared at me. I gave them the middle finger and then Sister Agnes pointed at CARDINAL BELLINI!!!
I waved at him because he was also goffic. He was really sexy with a sexy shiny bald head and eyeliner in the shape of a lightning bolt.
“Hi Bellini.” I purred.
“Hey Lawrence.” he roared.
“What are you doing today?” I giggled
“Electing a Pope!!” he scrome.
And then we went to Pope breakfast.
(AN: is it gud? pls tell me FANGSS)
CHAPITRE 2
(AN: dont flame me or you are a PREP and if you are a prep you are a RAT)
I sauntered sexily to the cafeteria for Pope breakfast with my girl Sister Agnes and with Bellini. I could feel his crimson eyes staring at me sexily.
I went and got a jar of blod to eat because I am a vampire cardinal. I got another one for Bellini because he was also a vampire and we ate the pope breakfast blood together. I felt my heart do crazy things and also my bajimbus.
Then I saw someone enter the pope breakfast room. He was super kawaii and had beautiful soft delicious eyes that could belong to a wimpy prep but it was clear he was goffic because his hair was black and so was his eyeliner even though he didnt have a swxy bald head.
“Hey Lawrence” he mewled. My cold dead heart was getting funky.
“Who ARE you?” I questioned, looking over at Agnes who shurgged nonchalantly and eated more blood.
The goffic bluenette licked his lips. “My name is Cardinal Benitez but everyone just calls me Cardinal Vampire” He said. It was totally hot.
“Why do they call you that?” I asked, feeling myself.
Suddenly he zoomed across the room and brushed my chin with his tattooed fingernails. “Because I love the taste of blood.” He giggled.
I watched him zoom away, before Bellyni skirted up to me.
“You better stay away from that guy. He is bad. News.”
I rolled my eyes, fanning my lashes. “You cant tell me what to do1!!1!1 How do you know hes bad 4 me!!” I scrumed. Everyone in the Pope breakfast looked at me and my sexy eyes like limped tears.
Ballini’s fangs popped out, and his ran his fingers through his bald head. “I know because I used to vampire date him” He seethed.
“YORE GAY!?” I scrumpgt.
(AN: if you preps dont stop flamin and rate 5 stars i wont post anymore)
CHAPITRE 3
(STOP calling me home of phobic you PREPS i am not scared of gay poeple!!!)
After I found out that Belinini was a gay I realized that we were both goffic and that was important more (AN: SEE I AM NOT SARRED OF GAYS11!!!!11) and he asked me out on a date to see Trisha Peytas perform (AN: AND IF YOU DONT KNOW WHO SHE IS GET DA HELL OUT OF HERERERE) and I said yes because I am not scared of gay people.
I put on a choker that was icy blue like limpid tears like my gorgeous vampire eyes and also black robes that had spiderweb patterns and a labubu doll on my panties that I had drained the blood from to satiate my vampire thirst last week. I went outside and saw Bellllnis custom red subaru with a liscene plate 666 and it was so goffic. I scrumpgjhfdg it was so sexy,
I slammed open the door and then we went to the courtyard and saw Trisha Peytas. She sang
He was with me from the start.He was always in my heart.Though I stray far, here you are.Jesus, my superstar.I love you, Jesus!!121!!!I love you, Jesus!!11!!!You give me reasonYou give me hopeJesus never let me go!!11!! (AN: I dont own the lyrics dont come for me PREPZZ!!11!)
And it was really hot and Blini wanted to kiss me because I was dancing so cool and hot. And then he took me to the other forbdien courtyard and he kissed me for real and It was so hot and he pushed me up against the fountain and there was a turtle swimming in it but we kicked it out because we did not like the pervert turtle for PREPZZ.
“OH OH OH” I screorfind.
He reached up and squeezed my dead labubu from outside my goffic robes and then we heard a noise. It was!!
Professor Cardinal Adeyemi?!?!!?
“WHAT DA HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUKERS!!!!!!”
CHAPITRE 4
(AN It was his LABUBU that they touched like I said earlier it was NOT anything bad I am not a pervert and I dont write perverted things just goffic things STOP FLAMMMINH PREPZ!!!)
Professor Cardinal Adeyemi draged us back to his office and he was so mad
“WHY DID YOU DO THIS MOTHERFUKERS” (AN: he is swearing because he had a headach)
And then bellini stepped forward vampirically and he shrieked “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!!!’
And then i realized i was gay for beelni too (AN: SEE I LOVE GAY PEOPLE) and i wanted to kiss him but we didnt but i felt my respiratory going crazy banana bonkers because he was so sexily.
I opned my mouth to say words back. But sudden, and crazily, a woosh of stinking preppy vape smoke evaporated me. I woke up sexily, looking around with my shiny balding head reflecting around.
There was an OLD GUY in my FACE.
“WHAT?” I scrumpt, mad because this vapey prep ruined my sexy moment with Belin.
“You are the chosen one, Lawrence. And I am Goffredo Tedesco.” His name sounded goffic but he was a bus rodent.
“I dont care who you are!” I crided sexily with eyes like limpy tears. My tears were so red and bloody like my new panties.
“Thou shalt kill Cardinal Vampire.” He said ominously.
Goffredo Tedesco gave me a gun.
“NO!” I howled but not like a werewolf cause i am a vampire. (AN: nice try PREPS)
He vape teleporded me back to the vatican. I sexily stepped out of the pensieve. I was pulled towards…
CARDINAL VAMPIRE
(AN: STOP flamin Cardinal Lawrence is not a mary sue he is a goffic witch vampire not a prep!!! rate 5 stars)
CHAPITRE 5
I did not want to kill Cardinal Vampire even though my boyfren Belni told me he was bad news and also even though Goffredo Tedesco told me to shoot him.
I walked to the Pope cafetiera to find CADRINAL BELLINI AND VAMPIRE BOYKISSING.
I screeched because i was so mad and I yelled “WHY ARE YOU BEING GAY!!1!!” because I did not want them to kiss.
Vampire looked so sad and that made him kind of cute because he had eyes that changed clour and now they were rainbow (AN: i know gay people like rainbows so i am doing this 2 be supportiv) and that also made him pretty.
I was about to shoot him because Goffredo Tedesco gave me a gun but then vampire yelled “wait we both love you lawrence!1!1!1!!” and I was so shoked that I dropped the gun.
The two sexalicious vampires zoomed towards me vampirically and touched my neck like they were going to bite me but we are all goffic vampires so i knew they wouldnt eat me because i would taste like depression sadnes.
Insteadg….
They BOYKISSED me and it was so hot and goffic. I dropped the gun and it exploded into a million pieces but I didnt care because we were all in love.
All of a suddenly we heard a calming voice and it was the pope. He had been resurrected but now he was goth and had a haircut that made him look like Gerard Way and Trisha Peytas had a baby (AN: and if you dont know who he is get DA HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!).
The pope said “thank you for resurrecting me, tedesco trapped me in the gun so he could join the conclave and kill vampire. I actually support gay peiple and I am not afriad of them so I hope you are all happy together” and we were.
THE END!!!1!!!1!1111!!!
AN: Lawrence 1 PREPZ 0.