Work Text:
it’s like they don’t see me sometimes,
especially together when they distract
each other more than i do either one
i keep myself to the corner
of our space, our home, our den
and hope that one day i won’t
need to vie for their attention
they’ll just know, they’ll give
without prompting and love
me as much as they love each
otherwise maybe it’s time to go
except that i love the way my hunter
has a beard softer than it looks
the way it rubs against my inner thighs
and the over sensitive curve of my neck
and my wolf has these cutting words
for everyone else, but is the only one
who can bring me out of an anxiety attack
with the sheer power of his voice
they talk to each other while
they do dishes and work around me
as i research, as if i’m the rock and
they’re the water in this relationship
now i just stare at the table, wood grain
rubbing against my fingertips as i listen
to the creak and squeak of their bed
our bed
but it’s hard to remember that when they
never invite me with the kind of enthusiasm
i crave to be wanted and needed and desired
and instead just push myself where i’m not
they could stop me, push me out, i live here
which maybe i wouldn’t if they didn’t want
me but here i am, taking up space, trying to
make myself smaller, useful, helpful, needed
anything so that they’ll keep me because i
love them both, need them both, never apart
i love them together with their rough smooth
dichotomy blending into a perfect whole
but where do i fit
i fit
i fit
i fit
right between them, arms surrounding me in
warm breath and hot skin and wet tongues
sharp teeth in my neck, rough fingers on my
oh
oh
oh
i didn’t hear them, but there they were
“We missed you,” whispered the wolf
“We wanted you,” whispered the hunter
“We love you,” whispered my lovers
and they drew me in, took me with them
away from the thoughts that stabbed at
my heart, my brain, my sensitive spots
to the comfort of their bodies twined with mine
they know all of me, my wolf, my hunter
they know me and some day i’ll know too
and the words will quiet, because i won’t
just know me, but all of them as well