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Fang was a calm person, at least now. During his teenage years it was a completely different story. He threw punches at anyone who looked at him funny.
He started picking up fights when he felt the need to protect Phum, however as he realized that he can earn respect by it without talking much, he started throwing punches just to tickle his ego.
No one can blame him for that, it was the never ending difficult situation at home that affected his mental health so much.
That is all in the past now. He matured. Became calm and reserved. To make him so angry to throw punches became very rare. However it was easier to make him feel frustrated when it was about someone he cared about. Like Tan or Phum, or anyone from his silly friend group. If it was something about him, he only took some precautions. He didn’t care about being emotional punching bag to some scumbags he didn’t even look at. They were not worth his time or emotions.
Let’s look at an example. Before several week Tan really wanted to go to his seniors birthday party. He was invited but the rest of the gang weren’t, nonetheless he brought Fang with himself (after asking for a permission from his elders).
Tan dressed up. With beige shirt and low-key formal black pants. Fang was little stressed over crashing someone’s celebration, where he knew no one. To not draw too much attention he just wore white pants and gray tank top.
”Teerak, you look sooo handsome. Casual but comfy, right?” Tan complimented him with his usual big smile imprinted on his lips. While grabbing Fang by his waist that the tight tank top lined perfectly.
Fang pretended that he wasn’t blushing, but secretly he knew that after they return Tan would be overjoyed to remove this tight tank top from his body, grab his waist firmly and kiss him from neck to his stomach leaving hickeys that would stay for days. Fang shook his head. He should think about it now, he doesn’t want to get too excited before leaving for the party.
Tan was simply a social butterfly. Fang adored that about the younger boy so much. Interactions like this would make Fang go exhausted in minutes. At the party Tan flew from one person to another, having bunch of small talks and cracking lot of inside jokes.
While Tan was laughing, Fang found a pretty corner of the room. He scanned the situation peacefully. Talked with a few people and drank some alcoholic mojito while listening to others. Tan made sure Fang was feeling comfortable and left again to catch up with someone else.
Fang found it super sweet that Tan was intentionally always in his sight, he never left him completely. How did he even deserve such a perfect boyfriend like Tan?
Later when Fang refused to dance, Tan owned the parket by himself, while Fang watched him with his lips curled up in a warm smile.
”I don’t understand how nong Tan can date such a boring person.”
”So emotionless. So plain”
”Embarrassing even. He deserves better”
Fang’s smile froze. The seniors didn’t even realize he could hear them. Corners of his mouth dropped. But that was all. They weren’t entirely wrong. Fang could be boring sometimes, maybe even plain. That’s where Fang’s thoughts stopped, he wasn’t angry. It just crawled deep under his skin. Possibly for the time he would feel insecure in future. It made him feel dull and sad, but it wasn’t worth a confrontation. At least for him.
Out of nowhere, a fist swung hard at the chin of one of the seniors.
”Take my perfect boyfriend out of your filthy mouth!” Tan yelled so loud it made people turn around and gasp.
He gave a second punch to the other senior.
”He’s the best thing that ever happened to me” Tan gritted through his teeth. The seniors were so surprised they didn’t even fight back. “We’re leaving” Tan grabbed his teerak’s hand and pulled him away quickly.
Fang’s anger wasn’t like this. Actually we could divide situations that made Fang angry into two responses. The first one was verbal, it was for unpleasant situations hypothetically categorized lower or let’s just say less serious. (Even though serious enough to create a response). The second response was physical, it was reserved for such a serious offenses that Fang’s mind went blank and the only response was, well, violence.
Let’s both see them on adequate examples from real life that both happened too recently:
1. Situation with verbal response
Fang was sitting on a bench in front of architecture faculty. Tan was supposed to be here a few minutes ago. Beep
Teerak, so sorry, the professor lesson long
Fang skimmed this chaotic message with his eyes and smiled to himself. Tan probably wrote this in rush because in that lecture phones were prohibited. Yet Tan still made sure Fang knew where he was.
Fang was so so grateful for him. He appreciated him so much, he couldn’t describe with words.
Tan was just so perfect, his personality, his looks, everything about him showed that they were made for each other.
”It’s such a pity that someone so pretty dates someone so annoying!” Fang heard suddenly, which made him snap back into reality.
”Yeah, P’Fang is so intelligent, how could he pick someone so stupid to date? How is it possible that Tan doesn’t annoy the shit out of him?” Fang jerked in the direction of this absolutely unimaginable conversation.
”Like any time his stupid boyfriend opens his mouth I pray that he shuts up for good”
”Right?! He has such a annoying voice and often walks here like a dog running around, probably because he’s good for nothing and has nothing better to do” two probably second year architecture students were sitting on the stairs. They were absolutely unaware of their surroundings while gossiping so loudly. Fang squeezed the pencil he was holding until now so strongly that he almost snapped it.
”Honestly they should break up!” this sentence rang in Fang’s head like an alarm bell.
He stood up so quickly that he almost dropped his back to the ground. He turned around on his heel. Without a single thought in his head he walked to the girls.
They raised their heads. Their eyes locked. The silence was heavy. The girls felt like it took hours, but It was only matter of a few seconds before Fang started to talk.
”It was such a great afternoon before I heard you talk.” he spited out with so much hatred. If they talked about him, he wouldn’t even turn their way, but nobody is allowed to talk about his Tan like this.
”Calling someone-, sorry, calling my boyfriend good for nothing, when you are sitting here living your pathetic lives just fueled by gossiping just seems like ironic to me, isn’t it?” he smirked the blood boiled in his veins, he must protect Tan from these nasty bitches that don’t even know what they are talking about.
”It was even more pathetic to let me hear it, do you have at least one working brain cell? Stupid question, of course you do not. Let me tell you, this is your first and last warning. If I ever hear you saying one more bad word about my boyfriend, whom I love, I will make your life a hell. Trust me, I have enough contacts to get away with it. I wouldn’t try my patience or creativity. Believe me, I can get very creative with this matter” he smiled evilishly as the color from the girls faces drained. They were caught red handed, by respected popular senior.
”Get lost, out of my sight!” Fang whispered dangerously and the girls packed their things in a second and almost ran away.
”Teerak! Here you are! I hope you didn’t wait for long” a loud cheerful voice exclaimed while his person appeared just a few meters behind him.
Fang still glared at the girls.
”Teerak, what did you do to them? They looked pretty scared” Tan joked, but as the look on Fang’s face didn’t soften he realized something was actually up.
Just a few seconds after that Fang snapped out of his angry state and hugged Tan. Right there, in front of the university. Tan was surprised, but couldn’t complain.
2. Situation with a physical response
Fang didn’t remember whose idea it was to celebrate the end of semester in a loud party bar. Well, he didn’t have to actually recall it, because it sounded exactly like one of Tan’s ideas.
Surely it must have been. Actually Fang was excited for this party too, he just wouldn’t admit it. Because it would immediately show others how much Tan affects him.
Even though Fang didn’t really feel like drinking this evening. His long fingers traced the wine glass repeatedly without doing much. From time to time he tapped the glass and lifted it to his lips. Took a small sip and put his drink back onto the table.
The bar or club or whatever, was packed with people. It opened just recently and many students had the same idea to celebrate end of their exams here.
Honestly Fang had so much fun, during last two or maybe three hours (he kinda lost track of time) they danced and jumped to the loud music with the group.
Fang actually met quite a lot of people that he knew, so he was stopping for small talks. And Tan even introduced him to some new people (it was a mystery for Fang, where did his boyfriend got so many aquintances when he is basically always by his side?) Then they danced again.
After all this time N’Toey was completely out of it, so Q used it as an excuse to leave. Then that crazy penguin, ehm ehm, Pun started to sing and could no longer stand on his feet so Chain had to drag him away too. Peem was always cute (and just a little agressive) when he drank too much, they left with Phum just a few minutes ago, together with Beer and Mick. The other younger one, Matt, was nowhere to to be found, which made Fang slightly worried.
Until his phone vibrated. He took it out of his pocket, “I aldgready arriveddd homee” read the message in the group chat. Okay, now one less problem .
Now there is only one problem in front of him. And this trouble is vigorously dancing.
“TEERAK, Join meee! Let’s dance” Tan was also barely standing up straight, yelling over the loud music with his drunken voice and like six cute expressions on his face that changed by seconds, while he approached his boyfriend.
Fang was honestly exhausted, even with those puppy eyes he had to refuse. He pulled Tan close by his waist (otherwise he’d run away, or at least that was the explanation for this bold move in Fang’s mind) and whispered his ear. Or more likely yelled, as it was too loud in there: “It’s getting late, do you want to go home?” Fang asked.
Tan shook his head like a toddler. Then wiggled out of the grip and ran back to the dance floor.
Fang’s mouth was left open, Tan ran away from him to dance?? That was new, in the end he chuckled, because even in this drunken state, Tan kept checking him out even while dancing.
Fang looked away just as someone sat onto the seat next to him. “Oh, P’Boston” Fang exclaimed surprised.
“Aahh, Nong Fang, long time no see” P’Boston was just as surprised to see his childhood friend here in a random bar. They probably weren’t close enough to be called friends, however their families knew each other.
“How was your studying abroad, I almost didn’t recognize you?” Fang asked politely with genuine curiosity in his voice.
“My studies were amazing I learnt a lot and It gave me a lot as a person. But enough about me. You look so handsome, you grew up a lot, like really handsome,” Boston complimented Fang right away, he scooted closer. He reeked of alcohol.
Fang just shrugged, not knowing what he should answer.
“I was just rejected by someone, that doesn’t matter, are you single?” Fang’s eyes widened, P’Boston, really changed and that was a very bold move. What answer does he even want to hear?
“No, I have the most amazing boyfriend” Fang announced, hoping this topic would end here. Boston frowned. Fang knew, Boston’s relationships were always messy and he pretty much went for anyone, he just never though his P’ would want to drag him into this mess too.
“Your current boyfriend doesn’t have to know” Boston sipped his drink seductively. It did nothing to Fang, besides being absolutely annoyed and angry. Current boyfriend? He was talking about it like it was a phase of a teenage girl.
Tan is not “current”, he is my future and past.
“Teerak, let’s get out of here” luckily. his drunk one was here, scanning the boy next to him with a very criticizing look.
At least Tan’s jealousy could get them out of the bar finally. Fang said quick goodbye and left half carrying Tan.
As they went out, finally… fresh air and quiet.
“Tan, teerak, please his here, I’ll call taxi” Tan was barely stable enough to stand, sitting was a safer position.
How it was possible for him to dance until now, was another question for Fang. As Fang dialed taxi he stepped away from Tan who was now laying on the bench, half asleep. Just out of habit, he liked to walk around while calling.
Just as he hung up, he looked at his watch, the taxi should be here in like 15 minutes.
*sound of steps*
Fang turned around quickly, he liked to know what was happening in his surroundings, especially when his love was laying on the bench half dead.
But he didn’t exactly like what he saw next.
“Nong, Nong Fang, let’s not end it here” Boston shouted from a few meters.
“Not until you give me a chance, just tonight, just one-night stand, you look so irresistible and I know I am pretty hot too” P’s voice sounded so cocky it made Fang almost gag, he turned around, disgusted at this offer. Nothing in this world woudn’t ever make him cheat on Tan. NEVER. He loved him the most.
“Your boyfriend won’t know. He’s not that handsome anyways.” Fang turned around so quickly, he couldn’t find the right words for what went through his head now.
He saw red, with adrenaline pumping through his veins. He clenched his fists so hard it should have hurt. His hands trembled. But it did not, or maybe he just didn’t care. What did that idiot just say?!
“You deserve someone better, he looks like a loser anyway” Boston said it so casually, like he wasn’t just exclaiming the most untruthful statement ever.
“I am warning you, stop” Fang clenched his jaws so tightly it began to hurt.
“You wasting your time on him-“ this moment felt so long and so short at the same time. Fang felt his body, entire body tighten. His mind went blank, he felt like anger was in the charge of him. He stepped closer so quickly Boston didn’t even react.
“Crack!” Fang’s fist hit Boston’s jaw so hard it made him stumble.
But that wasn’t enough. Even to kill him would not be enough.
Fang pushed him until he fell to the ground. One puch. Second. Third.
“Idiot!” Fang shouted releasing his anger into words and moves. He started kicking him hard.
Nothing could make him stop.
“Never say my boyfriend’s name AGAIN!!” Fang yelled, voice trembling with rage.
That morron. That idiot. He deserved to be in pain. Fang had it in his hands. To punish him.
To revenge his boyfriend. To secure his pride. From this filthy animal. One punch after another. Scratching.
Boston was bleeding, but Fang didn’t even see that.
“Stop. P’Fang Stop. STOP IT! You’re gonna kill him!” someone held Fang so tight he could move.
Fang was so focused. So engulfed in the moment. He even tried to escape this person.
“Bro, he had enough. You’ll murder him” Fang shook his head, like he just woke up from a trance.
“I will murder him, Phum” Fang breathed through his teeth.
“Breathe in and out, you already gave him what he deserves” Fang felt like his entire body was being handed back to him. Rage took over for a while.
After a while, Fang and Phum sat next to now sleeping Tan.
Fang was slowly rubbing Tan’s hair to calm himself down. And Tan wiggled from time to time absolutely oblivious to what happened just a moments ago.
“Why are you here, Phum?” Fang asked, his sight not leaving his boyfriend’s calm face.
“Do you think that is the right question now? But if you have to know, Peem forgot his wallet here. Your turn”
“Boston, is nasty, not how I remember him at all. He-“ Fang glanced to sleeping Tan again: “He said some messed up things about Tan”
Phum raised his eyebrow:”Only that, did you return to highschool mentally?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ONLY-“ Fang started without thinking and then recollected himself:"yes, that and ke kept suggesting that I sleep with him”
Phum nodded.
“You’re lucky he want away on his own, you really messed him up.”
Fang just looked away, to the stars, then on his own star sleeping next to him and then his hand: “He got what he deserved”
***
Just a two days later. Tan ran into the apartment. Right into Fang’s hand.
“TEERAK”
But instead of hug he went to hold the older one’s hand in both his hands.
“So Phum told me something” Tan giggled so happily, so so happy, Phum must have told him EVERYTHING.
Fang just sighted, next on his murder list is in fact his younger brother.