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Oh how excited Fang was , little did he know how was it going to end.
Fang had this summer volunteer camp he attended since he was a little kid. Maybe his parents used it as a way to get rid of him for a while during summer break but Fang never cared. He loved the camp, he had many memories from that place. From silly ones when he was little to trauma dumping ones when he went through puberty.
However he was adult now, so the camp was no longer an option. You can imagine how excited he was when he got an invitation to be a volunteer there.
He didn’t say it out loud, however Tan saw how his eyes sparkled when he read the mail on his phone.
Tan was sulking a little, because it meant five days without his teerak, but when he saw how excited his boyfriend was, he wasn’t against it.
Fow few days Fang was radiating happiness. Sharing stories from the camp from his childhood he randomly remembered. Tan looked at his with loving eyes everytime he opened up to him a little more.
“I just recalled, once we did a walk of fear for younger kids. They painted my face in black and white. I was sitting in a shopping card, don’t ask me why. I scared many of them, it was a success and I didn’t even talk during that event!” Fang’s face lit up with this precious memory. Sometimes he thought he might be little annoying with this camp thing.
On the other hand Tan was looking at him with his big loving eyes: “You’re so cute” he mumbled more to himself.
”Tan, shut it!” Fang smacked his shoulder, but he couldn’t hide the light red slowly tinting his cheek.
It was supposed to be perfect. Reliving part of his childhood while being there for kids and help them. This is his precious moment. What could possibly go wrong?
Fang swallowed hard. His throat was dry. The movement of his mouth was slow and unnatural. His heart dropped with dissapontment. It was painful to swallow his own saliva. He was about to be sick.
Do you know the dry empty feeling in your neck, when you know you’re about to be sick, something that is out of normal, but not yet. That was exactly how Fang felt.
”Tan, teerak?” Fang spoke softly and quietly due to the sore throat. Oh gosh, what if he loses his voice completely? He cannot miss the camp.
Tan peeked out of the kitchen, he was making breakfast for both of them. He raised his eyebrows as if he was asking, but he didn’t actually say anything.
“I don’t feel so good”
With this sentence Tan dropped everything, rushing to his boyfriend.
”Are you nauseous or like a fever, I’ll take care of you don’t worry. I could try to find some medicine.” Tan started rumbling while softly removing Fang’s bangs from his forehead:”It seems you don’t have fever, I’ll still check with thermometer. You should stay at home.”
This last sentence hit Fang like a truck. He took a quick step back. “It’s not that bad… I was just saying” he had to go there. He was so excited and overall he’s not sick yet. Maybe it’s gonna be nothing. Some stupid illness cannot ruin this for him!
He saw the quick glimpse of Tan’s sad and worry in his eyes and he immediately regretted his reaction.
”Teerak, I am gonna be okay, trust me” Fang consoled him with his hones covered voice while fixing Tan’s bangs gently with his finger.
So Tan had no other option then to let him go to that camp.
Fang would never admit it, but at the camp he was missing Tan like crazy. First two days were super fun. Fang got a group of seven kids to take care of. They were all very kind and friendly, even though when must say that they could be too loud sometimes. Even with this fulfilling feeling in his chest his body still felt numb. The sore throat didn’t just dissaper and he felt tired too.
But he didn’t tell any of the unfortunate things to Tan so that he wouldn’t worry, he told his boyfriend to trust him, so cannot let him down.
The first two days were actually okay. On the third day Fang felt worse, it wasn’t too bad tho. He still refused to admit he was ill. He just caught from time to time. And the sleepiness? That was from working with kids. Surely.
On fourth day it began to hurt to eat. Ehe still wouldn’t tell anyone. He was there to take cate of the kids, not to be taken care of. He cannot ruin it for others.
He played with food on his plate, chewing each bite for such a long time avoiding the pain in his neck.
Who needs to eat? He can manage a day without proper meal.
But Fang didn’t count with one thing. On fifth day, the final day his body gave up. He was too stubborn to rest and his illness got to him. He was exhausted right after waking up, he was shivering. He felt something was seriously wrong, that’s why he got up later, so he could hide in the breakfast room alone.
He picked up some leftover food and placed it to the side of the table. He sat down, his hands trembling, his head hurting so badly and just everything being wrong.
He raised the spoon full of cereal to his mouth. He chewed and then swallowed. Tears flew down his face. It was pain he never experienced before. As if he was eating fire. His throat was inflamed and seriously sensitive. He sat there. Crying above the bowl of cereal he wasn’t able to eat.
The camp leader found him.
”Gosh, N’Fang! What happened?”
”I feel so sick” the voice that came out didn’t even sound like his. It was coming from somewhere guttural That wasn’t affected by his state.
Fang was terrified, what is going to happen now? The leader told him to call someone close and go home immediately. That he should have said something earlier.
“It’s the last day, we can take care of your group, just go say goodbye to them”
So Fang calmed down a little, he immediately dialed his safe zone.
”Tan, please pick me up, I feel terrible” was the only thing Fang could say before his trembling voice collapsed completely.
He felt so guilty for saying goodbye to his camp group of kids with red eyes from crying. He was supposed to create happy memories for them and he ruined it. Fuck it, he ruined it all. And just like that he was ok the edge if tears again.
On the other side of the hall his favorite familiar face appeared.
”Fang!”
Fang turned around a slowly made hus way to his boyfriend.
”I told you it’s not the best idea to join the camp teerak” Tan started but as soon as his eyes landed on Fang’s face he was silenced.
Fang’s eyes red from crying, his movements careful like if he was afraid of fainting, his hands trembling.
Oh, gosh, that made Tan almost cry too, but he had to stay strong for his lover.
They slowly made their way to the car, Tan carried all Fang’s things, as soon as they sat down tears started rolling down his cheeks.
“Teerak, teerak, it’s gonna be okay” he quickly leaned closer to wipe his tears.
”I am so sorry Tan, I don’t want you to worry, but it hurts so much” Tan was very concerned and even little shocked, because Fang’s voice didn’t sound like him at all.
”Shh, shh, it’s okay, I’ll take care of you. Did you have any painkillers?” Fang just nodded, even speaking hurt like hell.
Then just to the tune of music they drove home. Fang’s hands were still trembling as Tan lead him to their bedroom, he tucked him in and gave him some medication.
Tan’s heart was clenching at the sight of his lovely boyfriend in this state and worse there was nothing he could do now. It was Sunday, no doctors work on Sunday except the emergency one’s that wouldn’t treat a “sore throat”.
Tan stayed by his side, held his hand a stroked his head until Fang fell asleep. At least he wasn’t in pain now.
Then Tan slowly slipped his hand out of the weak grip and he went to the kitchen to prepare some food for his patient.
”Tan?” very weak voice made Tan jump and he basically run to the bedroom.
”Can I have some food? I am so h-“ Fangs voice faded against his will.
Tan immediately brought warm soup and some bread.
Fang’s hand were still shaking, he bit the bread slowly, then tears started to roll down his face.
But he took bite after bite, sobbing uncontrollably.
”Teerak, you’re so strong. Good job. You’re amazing” Tan showered him with praises, because that was the only thing he could do for him.
”Tan, it hurts so much, but I am really hungry”
”Shh, shh, I know, you’re doing such a great job” Tan wiped away his tears. His heart was shattering.
The next day Fang got prescribed some antibiotics. They didn’t work right away. And Fang couldn’t do this much longer. He was hungry, but he barely ate.
His hands were shaking and even though he tried so hard he couldn’t stop crying with every swallow he had to do.
He hated himself for that, because he saw how worried Tan was. He stayed home with him. Cooking, preparing everything and encouraging him with compliments. Tan was pretending to be so strong. But Fang knew Tan too well. He saw how with every one of his tears his heart ripped away a little.
As an unpleasant bonus, Fang has gotten high fever. He was even weaker and paler than before.
One evening Fang was laying in his bed, feverish. He had weird dreams all throughout the day. Tan stayed by his side all the time. How did Fang even deserve someone so amazing as him?
Fang basically couldn’t speak now, because of how swollen his throat was. But this evening with Tan lying next to him, he knew he had to.
Fang felt like he won’t wake up tomorrow. Like this was the end. He felt weirdly calm about it, but his heart ached at the thought of leaving Tan alone.
He was so numb from this fever and whatever was wrong with him. Some stupid bacteria was about to end him, we was weaker than he ever experienced before.
“Fang loves Tan. Teerak-“ his voice gave out but this was worth all the pain: “I love you the most. With my whole heart. I don’t even know how I deserved you. Please be always happy for me” this was Fang’s last memory from this evening.
He didn’t hear or saw Tan sobbing and whispering all the words of love to him. Not even Tan’s tight hug, which he would have scolded him for, because he doesn’t was him to to be sick too.
If Fang fainted or fell asleep we will never know, but what we do know is that he woke up the next morning. And finally without fever.
He could finally eat without pain, just with slight discomfort.
He had gotten better in a week or two, but even after that Tan was super protective of him, because he couldn’t take seeing his teerak in such a state again.