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i. john
“What the hell have you done?” Aaron says. He grips the edges of the counter so hard it makes his fingertips ache, but it’s either this or throw another punch at someone he’s been married to at one point or another.
“I was doing you a favour,” John says. His expression is dark, but Aaron just grits his teeth. “Caleb owes me. Owes us! Robert’s dangerous!”
“No, he’s just a bloke who’s gotten out of prison and is trying to turn his life around,” Aaron says, frustration bubbling over. “I told ya, he’s nothing to me, and that’s why he’s just a bloke. Your brother –– at a push.”
“He’s dangerous, Aaron,” John hisses. “He killed someone.”
“He killed his sister’s rapist. Your sister’s rapist,” Aaron says. “He was stupid and he reacted without thinking, and what happened was so, so unfortunate, but that doesn’t mean he’s dangerous. He was protecting Victoria, John, he was looking out for her.”
“If he’s around, you’re at risk,” John says, pointing his finger at Aaron. “You and Victoria and Harry. I have to get him out of here, any way I can.”
“I’m not at risk,” Aaron spits. “Is that really what you think of ex-cons, yeah? Is that what you think of me?”
“Aaron — of course not,” John sighs. He rubs a hand across his forehead but Aaron keeps going.
“Because what I did was far, far worse than what he did. I would have killed Kasim if Vic hadn’t stopped me, and for what? Some bloke that didn’t really matter to me?” he says. “And Robert was the one that kept me going while I was in there, through all of it. He kept my life going all by himself, my sister, my business, my house. He did it all, because he knew I needed it. And now you’ve come along and you’re taking what he needs away?”
“Aaron, it’s not like that,” John says. Aaron barely hears him over the rush of fury in his ears.
“Get out,” Aaron says simply.
“What?” John says. He looks bewildered. “No, I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t need to trust him, but you clearly don’t trust me,” Aaron says. “So get out. Get out of my flat. I don’t want you here, John.”
.
Aaron texts Vic, asks her for Robert’s new number and doesn’t explain.
She sends back a question mark and nothing else, but relents when Aaron replies, Please, Vic.
He gets Robert’s number in the end. Saves it under his first name only, so it doesn’t sit next to John’s contact card.
Texts, I’m sorry.
Robert’s reply is almost immediate. He’s got time now, Aaron supposes, now that he hasn’t got a job.
who’s this?
The apprehension is obvious even through the screen.
It’s Aaron, he replies, then follows up with, I’m sorry about what John did. You didn’t deserve that.
I probably did, Robert replies.
You didn’t. You deserve to rebuild your life, and you would’ve been good at that job. John shouldn’t have interfered, Aaron types out. He presses send before he can think twice.
Those three little dots appear, then go again.
After ten minutes have passed, Aaron thinks he’s not going to hear anything. He chucks his phone onto the sofa and closes his eyes.
His phone chimes, and he picks it up.
Thank you.
ii. caleb
It’s not an easy decision to go downstairs and knock on Caleb’s door.
He does it anyway.
“Aaron,” Caleb says, opening the door a little wider. Aaron steps through and looks around, thinks about all the times Robert had him up against walls, over the table, on the stairs. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, um,” he starts, then sighs and winces. “It’s about Robert, actually.”
Caleb rolls his eyes. “Not you as well. I’ve already done what that fella of yours asked.”
“I know,” Aaron says. He fixes his gaze on Caleb, knows he looks as sincere as he feels. “And now I’m asking you to undo it.”
“You what?” Caleb asks. He turns around, stalks into the kitchen. “I don’t know what kind of dysfunctional love triangle you’ve got going on with your husband and his brother, but I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“Please, Caleb,” Aaron sighs. He follows his uncle into the kitchen and rubs his eyes. “I know it’s a mess but — John should never have spoken to you about it. He had no right to get involved.”
“Well, he did,” Caleb says. He gets a mug out of the cupboard and doesn’t offer Aaron one. “And I told you, I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“Robert needs to rebuild his life,” Aaron says. “He needs to move forward. He needs that job, Caleb. It’s good for him.”
“Well it’s already too messy,” Caleb says. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry Aaron, but it’s too much drama for me.”
“But he’s so good at what he does,” Aaron says, doesn’t care that he’s practically begging. “And you saw him, you saw how much he was willing to put into it, you know he’ll work hard for you. Please give him a chance.”
“I’ve heard about him, Aaron,” Caleb says. He looks wary. “Cain’s told me.”
“Caleb, we’ve all made mistakes,” Aaron says. They both know that better than anyone. “He’s not like people think. He got me through so much. He saved me over and over again. He built the house you’re living in, Caleb, and he did it for me.”
Caleb falls silent, staring into his mug.
“Please, just — think about it?” Aaron asks, bottom lip caught between his teeth.
“Okay,” Caleb grants eventually. “But I can’t promise anything.”
That’s enough for Aaron.
iii. victoria
“Aaron,” Vic calls, hurrying across the street. “Can you do me a massive favour please? I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate.”
“I’m flat out, Vic,” Aaron sighs. “I’ve got a meeting in York at eleven and then I’ve got to see some bloke at the council about renewing the licenses.”
“I need someone to look after Harry for an hour,” she says. “Please, Aaron, I’ll buy you dinner and a pint.”
“I’m sorry,” Aaron says, shaking his head. He checks his watch and winces when he realises he should’ve left ten minutes ago. “Can’t Robert do it?”
He can see the hesitancy flash across her face and settle into reluctance.
“Come on, Vic,” he says softly, reaching out and nudging her elbow. “You know he wouldn’t hurt Harry.”
“Yeah, I know,” she says, touching her now-healed eye subconsciously. “Not on purpose.”
“Not at all,” Aaron says fiercely. “You said it yourself — he’s getting better. He’s getting help. You can tell that he’s more relaxed now. And Harry’s loving getting to know his Uncle Rob, isn’t he? It’ll be good for them. It’ll be good for Rob to know that you trust him.”
Victoria still looks guarded.
“You really think they’ll be okay?” she asks, biting her lip nervously. “He’s got a lot going on. I don’t want him to freak out or lash out or —“
“Vic,” he says calmly, placing both hands on her arms. “I vouch for him. And I know that you do too.”
He decides against telling her that he had to
talk Robert down from a panic attack last week.
“Okay,” she says, pulling him in for a quick hug. “Thank you.”
.
He’s fifteen minutes late getting to York, but the meeting goes well.
Everything okay?, he texts after getting back in the car. He’s got plenty of time before he needs to be back in Hotten.
Instead of a reply, his phone flashes with a video call, Robert’s name lighting up the screen. He answers with a smile.
“Hiya,” Robert says. He sounds more relaxed than he has in a long time. “Harry wanted to say hi to Uncle Aaron.”
He angles the camera so Harry’s face appears alongside him, babbling about something that Aaron can’t follow. It’s alright, though, because he can’t take his eyes off Robert, the gentle smile on his face, the genuine, boyish excitement at spending time with his nephew.
Harry looks like Robert, Aaron thinks. He hadn’t really noticed it before, but seeing them side by side - the family resemblance is definitely there. They have the same eyes.
It’s sweet.
“Sorry about that,” Robert says, rolling his eyes fondly when Harry’s attention is back to his toys. “Vic told me you had a meeting. How was it?”
“Good, thanks,” Aaron says. It’s weird, this casual chat. “Renewed a scrap contract for another year, so.”
“That’s good,” Robert nods. His gaze strays off screen for a moment, probably towards Harry. “Did you talk Victoria into letting me look after him, Aaron?”
A denial is on the tip of his tongue, but Robert deserves the truth.
“It wasn’t like that,” Aaron says softly. “She was worried that it would be too much for you. I told her that I vouch for you.”
Robert goes quiet for a minute. When his gaze meets Aaron’s again, his eyes look a little glassy.
“Thank you,” he says quietly. “That means a lot.”
“You’re a good uncle,” Aaron says. He sees it every day when Robert bundles Harry into Vic’s car, leaving at the same time as Aaron heads up to the yard. “He loves you. No matter what happened, how he got here, how you got back here… he loves you, and you love him. It’s good to see you with him.”
Robert nods, doesn’t speak. Can’t, probably.
“I’ll leave you to it, okay?” Aaron says, smiling kindly. “Enjoy your time with Harry, Rob. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re better than you think.”
“Thanks,” Robert murmurs.
The screen goes blank, and Aaron lets out a breath.
iiii. chas
It’s all such a blur. One minute, Aaron’s having a pint with John, sitting on a shaky foundation they’re calling their marriage.
The next, Robert’s off his barstool and stumbling towards the door.
He hadn’t known it was coming, despite the way he was watching the lines of Robert’s back, his shoulders. There was no flinch, no telltale sign.
Aaron jumps out of his seat and follows him, approaching him slowly in the car park.
“Robert,” he says, quietly, softly. Robert swings around to face him, but Aaron doesn’t flinch. He knows plenty of people would have. “Rob, it’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here.”
Robert’s eyes are wild, chest heaving. His left hand comes up to touch his throat like he’s struggling to breathe.
Aaron takes a step forward and gently touches Robert’s right hand.
“Breathe with me, Rob,” Aaron says, controls his breathing into a steady pattern. Robert’s eyes are still panicked, searching all over Aaron’s face, but he’s trying to match the rise and fall of Aaron’s chest.
Eventually, he manages it, the redness on his cheeks fading to something more pink and the wilderness in his eyes clearing.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. “Chas broke a glass. I don’t — it just —“
“Hey, it’s okay,” Aaron says softly, fingertips pressing against Robert’s jaw for a split second. “You don’t need to explain.”
Robert swallows, throat working furiously as he tries to hold back tears.
“Why don’t you go home, eh?” Aaron says, squeezing Robert’s arm. “I’ll call Vic and —“
“No,” Robert says quickly, forcefully. “I want to go back to the pub and finish my drink. My therapist said that I need to face situations like this, not run away from them.”
“Okay,” Aaron breathes. It’s weird, this version of Robert. The one who talks in therapy terms. “Come on, then. You’re not doing it alone.”
He leads Robert back into the pub, and instantly feels a dozen pairs of eyes - not on him, but on Robert. It must feel suffocating. It must do.
He cranes his head to look back at Robert. The skin of his throat is red and blotchy again, and his hands are trembling like he’s doing everything he can not to turn and run.
Aaron swallows, and reaches across the bar to grab Robert’s half-drunk pint.
“Come on,” he says, marching around the bar. “You can finish this in the back room.”
“Er, what about me?” Chas asks, stopping Aaron with a hand on his chest. “You know, considering it’s my pub and all.”
“Mum, give him a break,” Aaron says, shrugging away from her touch.
“I don’t want him back there,” Chas says firmly. “He doesn’t belong here.”
“He’s been diagnosed with PTSD,” Aaron says quietly, lowering his tone so no one else can hear. “You of all people should know how that feels.”
Chas softens completely, dropping her hand and looking over Aaron’s shoulder at Robert who won’t meet her eye.
“Fine,” she says, nodding through to the back. “Go on. Look after him, yeah?”
Look after yourself too is implied.
iiiii. ross
“Oi,” Ross says, gravel crunching under his feet as he jogs to catch up with Aaron. “Did you know your Robert got in touch with Rebecca’s aunty to have contact with Seb?”
“He’s not my anything,” Aaron says, ignoring the way his heart pounds in his chest. He stops, turns to face Ross. “I didn’t know that.”
“You need to tell him to stop,” Ross says, pointing a painful finger right in the centre of Aaron’s chest. “Seb’s a good kid. He doesn’t need that psycho messing with his head.”
“Robert’s not a psycho,” Aaron spits, batting Ross’ hand away from him. “He was a good dad, Ross. He was good for Seb, for our family, and what he did doesn’t change that. He was protecting his sister. That doesn’t make him unfit to see Seb.”
“Seb doesn’t even know him!” Ross says.
“Then let him get to know him,” Aaron counters. Honestly, his heart hurts at the thought of Seb being around again, but Robert deserves this. “Come on, Ross. You know that Robert stepped up when Rebecca needed him. She’d want her son to be able to spend time with his dad.”
“And what would you know?” Ross hisses, stepping closer. “It’s not like you spent any time with him in the last six years.”
“I –– that’s- that’s not fair,” Aaron stammers, hating the way tears are burning behind his eyes. “I wanted to see him. Rebecca cut me off.”
“Either way,” Ross says, clapping Aaron’s shoulder. The gesture is supposed to be friendly, but Aaron knows otherwise. “You’d better get him to back off, or everything that he went through in prison will feel like a walk in the park.”
.
Aaron leans back against the railings of the pavilion and watches. He supposes he should be watching John, but his eyes are drawn to Robert, sleeves rolled up and mud stained on the white soles of his trainers, in a way that would never have happened seven years ago.
It’s weird, all of them being here like this. Vic is trying to forge some kind of family bond, had basically bullied them all into taking Harry for a kick about, and that’s why John and Robert are currently on the field, actually daring to spend time together.
Aaron had only gone to make sure they didn’t kill each other. Honest.
It’s nothing to do with the smile on Robert’s face, which is wider than Aaron’s seen since he came back to the village. It’s nice, to see Robert actually enjoying himself. Nice and normal.
Well, except for the fact that Robert’s brother – Aaron’s husband – is looking less than impressed next to him.
Still. Aaron’s trying to do as Vic asked and play happy families.
That’s harder to do when he sees Ross jogging up the steps of the pavilion.
“This is a private event, actually,” he says, not taking his eyes off of his family.
“I wanted to apologise for earlier,” Ross says. That does get Aaron’s attention, and he turns his head to look at him, surprised. “You really think he’d be a good dad? Even after everything he’s been through?”
“Especially after everything he’s been through,” Aaron says. He looks back at Robert and can’t stop himself from smiling when he scoops a laughing Harry up into his arms. “He’s not a bad person, Ross. I know he’s done bad things but he’s good, underneath it all. He’d be the best dad Seb could ask for.”
“I shouldn’t have reacted like that when I found out,” Ross mutters. It’s almost an apology. “I still care about Seb, you know. He’s a good kid. He deserves to have someone to love him like that.”
Aaron swallows, knows it could have been him.
It doesn’t matter now, he supposes.
As long as Robert gets the chance.
+i.
They’re having another argument again.
When aren’t they, these days?
It wasn’t even anything serious. Robert appearing across the street, sending a tight smile their way. John muttering something about him still being here, and Aaron telling him that insecure wasn’t a good look on him.
“You know, after everything I’ve done for us, you’d think you’d show me a little more respect,” John spits, then stalks off in the direction of his van. That means Aaron’s in for another night on his own then.
He sighs, and turns back towards the pub. If he’s sleeping alone, he’s going to make sure he drinks enough that he can’t feel it.
A hand on his elbow startles him, and he turns to see Robert’s grimacing face.
“Sorry,” he says, then his gaze is following John’s retreating figure. “Just… can we talk?”
“Yeah,” Aaron says. “What’s up?”
Robert doesn’t say anything as he pulls Aaron down the side of the pub, where it’s quiet and nobody is around. He stops, stuffs his hand in his pockets, and takes a deep breath.
“I just wanted to know,” he says, voice low. Aaron listens intently. “When you lost your backbone.”
Aaron’s head jerks back.
“Excuse me?” he says, eyes searching every little detail of Robert’s face.
He can’t believe he heard that right.
“I know I’ve been away for a long time, but it’s like you’re a different person,” Robert says. “I’ve never known you to let anyone speak to you like that.”
“He’s my husband,” Aaron says dumbly. It’s the only excuse he can think of.
“I was your husband and you were throwing wrenches at me and calling me all sorts,” Robert points out.
“And that’s why we weren’t good for each other,” Aaron argues weakly.
“I do get it,” Robert says, leaning back against the wall. Aaron thinks back to a distant time when Robert was half a bottle of whiskey deep, slurring about bad days. That Robert probably didn’t know how bad some days could get. “He doesn’t trust me, that’s fine. But he should trust you, Aaron, and he clearly doesn’t. I just –– you deserve better, that’s all.”
“Someone like you, you mean?” Aaron snaps. He can’t help it; the hairs on the back of his neck are standing on end.
“No, not if that isn’t what you want,” Robert says honestly. “Just someone who won’t speak to you like he does. I’m not trying to have a go. I just think you should stand up for yourself a bit more.”
Aaron almost laughs at the irony. All those times he’s stood up for Robert, and…
“Well, that’s all I wanted to say,” Robert says, like he hasn’t just blown Aaron’s world apart. “See you later, yeah?”
As he walks away, Aaron’s mind is racing.
He’s probably got a point, to be fair.