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Getting past the gate was easy enough. It took a little wiggling and you had to let out all your breath to slip between the bars, but you were still small and slight of build. The bars would never keep you out. You crossed the garden with ease, having learned long ago where the motion sensors were.
Here, you had to make a choice.
You could do the normal thing and leave the watch on the porch. If you did, Carol would probably find it first thing and get upset with Noelle.
Or you could do the dumb, crazy thing. Like the Rogue at the end of Dragon Blazers III, you could leave the Amulet in the Princess’s bedchambers and steal away into the night. It was silly to think of a video game, but there was something about Dragon Blazers that stuck with you.
After a few moments, you realized you were waiting for someone else to pick for you, but “someone” was still asleep. Whatever happened at the bunker had done a number on it. You had to decide for yourself.
Dumb and crazy won. It wasn’t a contest.
The crosshatch fence was just as easy to defeat as the gate had been. Your small hands and feet found easy purchase. Then you just had to get to the top beam and...
*crack*
You froze. Seconds stretched out to hours as you waited for another crack.
You realized you were holding your breath, so you released it and breathed naturally. Once you decided the fence wasn’t going to collapse on you, you continued, a little more carefully, until you reached the top.
With a gymnast’s agility you balanced on top of the fence. It’d been a long time since you stood on a beam, but the muscle memory was still there. You held your arms out gracefully to your sides, feeling the vibration and sway of the wood beneath you. It was springier than a beam, which was a boon when you were younger, but now, too much bounce would definitely crack the wood. You hoped your height would compensate.
A quick hop, skip, and jump, and you were airborne. You landed chest-first on the north wing roof. Your feet had no purchase on the overhang, but you pulled yourself up and only mildly scratched up your stomach in the process.
Not for the first time, but for the first time in years, you thought about how much easier this was in a cutscene.
You had no idea how the Holidays kept the roof covered in snow and ice year-round. Not like they have magic in this world. Carol must be part elemental or something. While the flatter surfaces were covered in snow, the spiral domes were covered in glittering ice. The ice was a good, subtle security system, but one that you had foiled many times before. You flattened yourself against the ice and inched your way along, letting the greater surface area give you traction even as the cold bit into you.
From here, you were practically right next to Noelle’s window, but it remained tantalizingly out of reach. You also knew from painful experience that the roof here was far too steep for you to just climb across. Instead, you clambered to the upper roof and kicked a path through the thick snow. Once you had the space, you sat down and inched your way towards the steeper incline. Once there, you’d just lower yourself and then...
Something slid beneath you. Your weight must’ve caused a loose shingle to slip. In an instant you were out of control, sliding down, falling...
You fumbled the large red ribbon over her window, but managed to catch the ledge below it, dangling by your strong and nimble fingers. After a minute to catch your breath, you silently pulled yourself up. There wasn’t as much room on this ledge as you remembered, so it took a bit more maneuvering to jimmy the window open.
Here, you hesitated. Should you really be doing this? Sure, you’d snuck in many times when you were a little kid, but you were almost an adult now. Entering Noelle’s bedroom by the window felt... wrong. Like a violation, however good your intent was. Still... you needed to set this right. You needed to set something right, at least.
The sweet, dark silence within remained so. You were alone on this decision.
So you followed the course laid before you. Return the “amulet,” and sneak out. You eased yourself down onto a ridiculously long couch, careful not to make a squeak. You thought about closing the window, but that was just more opportunity for noise. You fished the watch out of your pocket. This should be quick.
Despite yourself, your eyes lighted upon Noelle. It would be cliche to say that she looked like an angel in the moonlight. It wouldn’t really be accurate either, what with her drool soaking the pillow beside her. She looked like... Noelle. Your friend of so many years. The girl both your parents were sure you would marry. Looking at her so vulnerable, so normal-looking, made your heart ache for what could’ve been.
That was the past now. Just like the Princess, Noelle deserved better than a traitor. She had better, if only “better” would realize it.
You decided to put the watch on the bedpost. It looked like a good place to put a watch, but an easy place to miss. Noelle had to have done that at least once or twice, right? After all, she hadn’t noticed when your passenger took it from her, nor when you wore it at the hospital.
You couldn’t reach the bedpost from here. Damn short arms. It crossed your mind that you could try just throwing it like a carnival ring, but the risk it’d just get looped around Noelle’s antler was too great. Instead, you stepped down from the couch and moved over to her side. Carefully, silently, you slipped the watch around the bedpost, right beside Noelle’s sleeping head.
You were absolutely sure you hadn’t made a sound, yet Noelle’s eyes fluttered open anyway.
“Huh...?” she said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Kris...?”
You froze. This wasn’t in the script.
“Must be a dream,” Noelle said blearily. “Why else would you be in my bedroom?”
Your cheeks turned hot and you glanced away.
“But if it’s a dream, why aren’t you blue?”
You had to say something. With great effort, you managed to shape your vocal chords around the sound and quietly state, “I am.”
She blinked a few times, not really seeing you in the dark, before saying, “Yeah... I guess you do look kinda blue. My bad.”
Noelle rolled back over and seemed to go back to sleep. You started moving again, opening the window.
“Since this is a dream, tell me something,” she asked. She sounded more lucid than before despite facing the wall, “Why did we stop being friends?”
The weight of that question forced you to sit down.
Noelle rolled over, looked you in the eyes, and asked, “Was it something I did?”
There was no way you could make your voice work well enough to explain this to her. All you could do was shake your head.
Noelle sat up in bed. She was wearing a white night dress that practically glowed in the moonlight, reminding you of her robes in the Dark World.
Her eyes were earnest and sympathetic when she asked, “Was it something you did?”
The question tore through you. The pain in your chest was agonizing. Slowly, hesitantly, you nodded.
“I... don’t think I was ever mad at you...” Noelle said. “So... it’s because you felt guilty?”
Your eyes were wet but you did not cry. You inclined your head slightly. It was almost a nod.
Noelle bit her lip, then stood up and walked over to sit beside you. Without any fear or hesitation, she rested her head on your shoulder. You froze, your hands raised above your head. What was she doing?? Noelle was never this forward.
Except when you were kids. When there was no baggage or expectations. When you could just snuggle with the girl you liked, and no one would assume anything. Not even you.
“I was hoping this would be one of the dreams where you can just tell me,” Noelle said. “But if I don’t know, then how would that work? You’re just a dream anyway. It’s all in my head, right?”
You nodded again.
“Well, if it is, then you can put your hands down. A figment of my imagination should be able to hold me even if the real Kris can’t.”
You slowly lowered your hands. It took a couple tries to find a good position around Noelle that didn’t cause her antlers to poke you in the face, but you found it.
After a few moments, she said, “I’m sorry.”
You tilted your head quizzically.
“For not noticing,” Noelle continued. “Whatever you did, you must’ve felt so alone. You had to deal with it all by yourself. If I’d known, maybe I wouldn’t have lost one of my best friends.”
It took you a while to find the right words. You had to consider them carefully, plan them out, and shape them every time you spoke. It was so much easier with your passenger’s voice. It might not always be accurate, and sometimes it made you say things you didn’t like, but it was still much easier to express yourself when the SOUL was doing the hard work of talking .
After some time, you mumbled, “Not your fault.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I missed that voice. I know you’re talking so much more confidently these days. I’m happy for you, I really am. And I know it sounds weird, but missed that shaky monotone. When you wanted to say something too complex for gestures and nods, and I had to wait for you to say it. That felt... important, you know?”
You did know. Your passenger made things easier, but even when it got things right, it still wasn’t your voice.
“At least I can hear that voice in my dreams.”
You sat like this for a while. Just the two of you. The only sound was the two of you breathing and a ticking clock.
Noelle yawned. When she spoke, she sounded sleepy again.
“I wish things could go back to the way they were. When we could do this without it being weird. Do you think... if we had stayed friends... we might’ve been more?”
It was a question that you both knew you should never answer. Noelle must be fading fast and getting rambly. Despite your difference in size, you gently scooped up Noelle and carried her to her bed like a princess.
Noelle mumbled into your chest. “Imagine us in another world, sitting on the couch... kissing like teenagers are supposed to... Maybe even a ring on my finger? I think that’d be nice...”
You didn’t respond. You couldn’t even entertain the possibility. Instead, you just tucked Noelle back in and, after a moment’s hesitation, gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. Noelle smiled and squirmed happily, but her eyes remained closed.
“G’night, Kris,” she mumbled.
You turned to leave, but paused. You couldn’t just leave without saying something. Reluctantly, you reached for your other half, but it was still asleep and could not lend you a voice. Maybe if you said something you knew by heart, you could get the words out. Something like... the last line of Dragon Blazers III?
“Goodnight, sweet princess. May you dream of dragons, not rogues in the night.”
...is what they said in the game.
But this was not Dragon Blazers, and you were not the Rogue. The words would not come to your lips no matter how you tried.
You closed the window behind you and disappeared silently into the darkness below.