Work Text:
The jig is up, it's the end of the line.
Spamtons gone and called for a divorce. He even hired them a lawyer… this whole ordeal is getting terrifyingly official!
They walk into the lawyer’s office, while the room doesn't look particularly lawyerly, there is a desk! And behind it sits-
“Well. Hello there. Art thou my er- clients?”
Spamton hops up into one of two chairs in front of the desk.
“YEP. GOTTA DITCH THIS [old news] FOR GREENER PASTURES. GET SAT YOU [one hit wonder]!”
Tenna did not agree to this. He is sulking by the door… this room doesn't exactly look like a divorce lawyer’s! It doesn't even look all that professional!
“Hey Spam uh, are-”
“FULL NAME! NO MORE [50% off] DEAL FOR YOU [buster]”
Tenna looks to the camera in the corner of the room that isn't truly there. Audience, you seeing this shit?
“Yeah ok- are you sure this guy's legit? Doesn't look like any lawyer I've had on any of my programs!”
Rouxls Kaard slides two divorce papers onto the desk. They are written in crayon.
“Uh. Yes. Definitely I am. I juste haveth… lowe rates?”
He is not.
“YOUR [programs] MUST BE FAULTY! GOT OURSELVES A [86% off] DEAL! OH YEAH. LETS [get this rolling].”
Rouxls Kaard does not know how to be a divorce lawyer.
“So uh. Why… do you guyse wanteth.. a divorce?”
Tenna makes an attempt to speak, but is interrupted. He looks at the invisible camera again.
“THIS [one star review]’S RATINGS ARE [low low low]!!! HES RUINING MY CHANCES TO GO [big]!!”
Tenna throws his hands in the air.
“Well if you'd just give me a moment!! Im sure I could get right back up there! Maybe some reruns or something- you don't have to do this!”
Rouxls Kaard, terrible unqualified for this, clears his throat.
“I see. So you've loste the uh. Spark?”
Tenna doesnt think this guy has a license
“what? I don't think thats-”
“[incorrect buzzer]”
“Don't worrye. I knoweth how to solve thise! Thous need somethinge new! A fresh addition to uh. Rekindle.”
Tenna perks up slightly! His look to the fourth wall is less dejected.
“Like a reboot?”
...
...
“Uh. Sure.”
“ANYWAYES.”
“You bothe… haveth two hands. I also… haveth two hands. If you catche mine drifte.”
He waggles his eyebrows at them.
“Is this a violation of HI-”
“HOLY [$@#!] A [two for one deal]!”
Spamton grabs the divorce papers, tearing them up.
“TENNA THE DEAL IS [back on] LETS SEE WHAT [this guy] HAS IN STORE!”
the this guy in question is.. really weird. But also kinda hot. Whatever saves Tenna’s marriage I guess.
And they all kiss or something.
