Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It started the way it would have to start, in order for their arrangement to be realistic. With a sudden and inarguable need. 

One of the perks about having had to deal with the whole mess of being demonized by the press after they'd saved Secret and most of the super hero community's ages had been fucked with before everything got sorted, was that now they were actually a settled and acknowledged group of superheroes. It no longer felt like such a mad scramble all the time to prove themselves by finding people to help, or just constantly reacting to threats instead of already being aware of them and mitigating things before they got personal. 

This meant that not every mission that they didn't take the whole team on was because someone was injured/having a personal crisis/or otherwise indisposed, or even because the mission was a rescue mission to save whoever they were missing. No, now missions that didn't involve the whole team were like that because they just didn't need the whole team all the time. It was great. 

Tim could create an entire power point on how this model of the YJ team was so much more efficient than it'd been previously. How so much less of their work was desperate reaction and was now just, action, and even sometimes prevention. Plus, it left them all with more rest time, which meant more hanging out at headquarters-the abandoned hotel with its sprawling grounds that they were effectively squatting in- with the team, which Tim could easily make an argument for necessary team bonding with that. 

It was great, honestly, or at least as great as superhero work could ever be, which meant that every once in a while it totally sucked. 

"LEFT!" He called as he and Wonder Girl darted down the corridor to their left. 

"Still got him, Rob?" Wonder Girl asked as the corridor curved further left. 

"Yeah!" He called back, trading glances between the screen on his wrist gauntlet with the moving glowing dot and his surroundings so he didn't eat shit "He seems to be circling back around!" 

"Good, he probably thinks he tricked us." Wonder Girl replied. 

Robin was thinking the same thing. The robed man definitely hadn't noticed that tracker he'd stuck on him before he'd made his escape back when he and Wonder Girl had cornered him. It had been a good plan, getting the robed man to think he had a chance of escaping them so he'd lead them back to his secret lab. Not that Robin was surprised, he and Wonder Girl always made good plans between the two of them, it was the upside to being the two members of the team with brain cells. 

"Right up here." He called as they approached another fork of hallways and they both whipped around the corner and then skidded to a stop. 

"Uh," Wonder Girl hummed, peering over his shoulder at his wrist gauntlet that showed the beeping dot right behind the wall they were now facing, "I guess this would be the downside of having a tracker without having the layout. Maybe I can punch through the wall?" 

"No, I swear he went this way too." Robin growled, examining the wall in front of him, "There's got to be a secret entrance." 

Wonder Girl nodded, not needing any further evidence than his word, bless her honestly. She both listened to him all the way through while paying attention, unlike some people (*cough* Impulse *cough*) and then didn't ask stupid questions or just generally question his judgement (*cough* Superboy *cough*). 

Although, if he was being entirely honest, Superboy hadn't really been undermining his leadership or questioning his judgement at all as of late. Ever since they'd- oh, actually in hindsight, Superboy hadn't been pulling that crap ever since he came back to the team after being held captive for months and being replaced by his clone. He'd have to review his memories when he had more time to just reassess, but now he was pretty sure that all of those instances were just Superboy's clone and not even him. 

Whatever, that was a problem for later, right now he needed to find a secret entrance. He let his fingers dance along the wall, digging his nails into seams and cracks, trying to find any way to trigger an opening mechanism. Meanwhile, Wonder Girl was messing with the objects attached to the wall, flipping light switches and pulling aside paintings. 

When the wall finally groaned and a section of it started swinging inwards, he honestly wasn't sure which of them had triggered it. Not that it mattered, they pushed their way inside quickly, the hooded man whipping around to face them. 

Robin opened his mouth, about to let out a clever quip about having cornered the man, seeing as there were no other visible entrances or exits. Instead, he was cut off by a veritable mound of what seemed to be a flowery scented finely ground sand dumped on him and Wonder Girl. 

"Phle-" he heard Wonder Girl spit as he tried to wipe the stuff off his face and shake the little piles that had collected on his shoulders off. 

"You Ok, WG?" He called, clearing the whites of his mask of the stuff so he could see. 

"Yeah, fine," she called back, "this stuff just doesn't taste as good as it smells." 

That was definitely true, he commiserated as he finally cleared his field of vision enough to see an empty robe on the floor in front of them and no man in sight. He swore in his head, kicking at the robe. The tracker had been placed in one of the pockets, he didn't need to check his wrist gauntlet to know that the dot would still be right in front of them. 

"We lost him." He told Wonder Girl, just in case she hadn't also noticed. 

"Yeah, I noticed that." She replied, still trying to rub the stuff off her skin, "I'm more worried about what the hell this stuff is." 

He didn't have the heart to tell her that at this point she was rubbing the powder more into her skin than off of it. The damage had already been done anyway. He examined the powder, knowing what it reminded him of, but reasonably confident that it couldn't be that. 

"It reminds me a bit of some stuff one of the Gotham Rogues came up with a while back, but she was pretty tight-lipped about the formula." He shrugged, "I've never seen or heard of it being used outside of Gotham, so at least we don't have to worry about that." 

Wonder Girl let out a huff, "Right, thank god for small miracles. The last thing anyone needs is some god-awful Gotham-made biological agent." 

"True, but we still don't know what it is." He squared his shoulders, already going through his bat-training for what to do when dealing with exposure to an unknown substance. "What we do know is that, whatever it is, it doesn't activate immediately, which means we have a bit of time to poke around to see if there's any notes lying around about what this guy was working on in this lab. With any luck, we'll find info about what this stuff is, what it does, and how to counteract it." 

"Sounds like a plan." She nodded, already moving towards one of the lab tables on her right while he scooped some of the powder into an empty test tube that was lying on the table to his left and stoppered it. 

"I'm setting a timer for ten minutes." He told her, sliding his collected sample into one of the pockets on his belt in case they needed to run tests on it later, "Hopefully I'm right about it being a slower acting agent and that gives us enough time to get back to base before it kicks in." 

She nodded, accepting that easily before cocking her head to the side, "What if we don't figure out what it is by then?" 

He sighed, "Then we go back anyways, tell Bart and SB what happened and hope they can figure it out, and if they can't we hope that they have the common sense to call in the adults." 

He heard her blow out a breath of air at that, "Ok, guess we're gonna need to turn this lab upside down in the next ten minutes otherwise we're totally screwed." 

"Yup," he agreed, trying not to seem as worried about it as he was, "that about sums it up." 

They continued on in silence, practically tearing apart the lab in their search for information. Not that they found anything about the powder that had been dumped on them. They did find a lot of information on the chemicals the robed guy's organization had been poisoning water supplies all across the states with, which was objectively a good thing since that was what they'd come here for in the first place, but it still did nothing to ease the air of anxiety between them. 

It was at the five minute mark that Robin started to feel it. The familiar sensation of his skin not feeling quite right, and his breathing not being able to steady itself. It couldn't be that though, it was just confirmation bias, or placebo affect, or whatever. He'd thought about Ivy's cuddle pollen earlier, and now he was tricking himself into thinking he was exhibiting the symptoms when he wasn't. 

At the eight minute mark it felt worse, and he could swear the room's temperature had dropped at least 15 degrees. That was when Wonder Girl spoke up. 

"Uh, Robin, I don't feel right." She stuttered out, her teeth chattering as she rubbed at her upper arms. 

He wasn't ready to jump to any conclusions yet though, maybe the room's temperature really had dropped for some reason, "Describe your symptoms." He instructed her, doing his very best to sound as unaffected as possible. 

"Uh, I don't really know how to explain this feeling. It's like I'm cold, and my skin doesn't feel right." She started, sounding unsure, "like my skin is stretched over my bones wrong, and it's itchy and there's this, like, hollow feeling somewhere in me and I don't know what it is." 

She sounded freaked out, really freaked out. He should reassure her. Except, he was stuck on the piece of paper he'd just found tucked between the pages of a book. It was a receipt for an order. It didn't say what had been ordered, but between the hefty price, the address it was ordered from being a Gotham address, and the symptoms he and Wonder Girl were experiencing, he knew what the substance was. 

He sighed, "Remember when I said we didn't have to worry about it being the stuff from Gotham?" He asked, turning to face her, already feeling the exhaustion that he knew the rest of the day was going to bring, "I was wrong." 

He watched Wonder Girl's face crumple, "Oh God, am I going to die? That's not fair, I don't deserve to die like this when I'm not even from Gotham!" 

He ignored the implication that he knew she didn't mean about people who were from Gotham deserving this fate, and instead chose to inform her that she, in fact, was at no risk for dying. 

"You're going to be fine Wonder Girl, I promise." He told her, "The first hour is gonna be kind of uncomfortable, but once we're back at base and we've showered this stuff off, we'll get you set up with everything you need and you'll be fine. Hell, some people even kind of enjoy getting dosed with this stuff." 

"W-what?! H-how?!" Her teeth were chattering harder now, her hands rubbing at her arms frantically as if it could come close to stimulating what she really needed, "Th-this isn't en-enjoyable at a-all!" 

"No, it's not." He agreed, with a sigh, knowing that this would be easier for him to deal with later if he abstained from giving in to the clawing desire for touch now, but also knowing that he couldn't just let Wonder Girl continue being this miserable until he could get her set up back at base with someone better. "But I've been told it can be if you ride it out with the right person." 

"Wh-what?" She stuttered, and it was clear that she still hadn't figured out exactly what it was her body was craving as he watched her try to pull the hem of her shorts down to cover more of her skin, presumably in an attempt to fend off the cold. 

"Come here." He beckoned her forward, "Wonder Girl, is it alright if I touch you?" 

It took all of his will power, and the fact that his hands had an iron grip on the table behind him, to resist from rubbing and scratching at his own skin the way she was. He knew from experience that despite the desperate desire to do so, it didn't actually help, and you just ended up with gouges from your own fingernails in your skin by the next day. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist the urge forever, but the longer he held out the less wrecked his skin would hopefully be tomorrow. 

Wonder Girl stepped closer to him, standing just within arms reach of him now, "I-I don't un-understand? I-it f-feels like I-it's g-getting w-worse!" 

"Yeah, it d-does that," he sucked in a sharp breath at the hitch in his own voice, clenching his jaw for a moment to try and get rid of the quaking, Wonder Girl was freaking out, seeing him succumb to this stuff would just make her freak out worse, he was supposed to be Robin after all, "It keeps getting worse until it crests in about 6-8 hours then it starts getting better, or you get what the pollen is telling your body it needs and it gets better immediately. Either way, you're at no risk of dying or being hurt, just a sucky 8-12 hours at worst. Now, I can help now if you want, but you gotta give me an answer WG, can I touch you?" 

She nodded immediately, "Y-yeah, p-please help, d-do wh-whatever!" 

He unclenched one hand's iron grip from the desk behind him and slowly reached out with a shaking hand to grip her shoulder. The reaction was immediate, Wonder Girl gasped sharply, and he couldn't tell if she dove forward or if he yanked her forward but less than a second later she was colliding with him and their arms were wrapping desperately around each other. 

He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and let himself just enjoy the relief washing over him for a moment. God, it felt nice, he'd forgotten how nice it could feel when someone finally touched you after you'd been dosed. He'd forgotten that it didn't need to just be an all out miserable experience. 

"What the hell?" Wonder Girl mumbled against his shoulder, "What is this stuff?" 

He took a breath, steeling himself. Just cause he was hugging someone now didn't mean that he wouldn't need to tough it out again later. He wasn't who Wonder Girl would want to ride this thing out with, he knew that, he was perfectly fine with that. He could help her out until he could get her to someone that would be her first choice to ride this out with, and then he was on his own again. It was tempting, to just stay with her for the next 8-12 hours, and he knew she'd let him, but he'd promised himself after his first dose of this stuff that he wouldn't ride this out with someone who wished he was someone else. 

"We call it cuddle pollen." He explained, "There's a more scientific name for the stuff, but that's basically the gist of it. It'll make you feel really sucky unless you hunker down with someone and cuddle it out for the next 8-12 hours. It's not deadly or harmful either way though, so definitely not the worst biological agent we could've come across." 

"So, what? Are we just stuck here hugging for the next 8-12 hours?" She huffed, "Cause while this definitely feels good, this also isn't a very comfortable position." 

"No, we'd just get like, eternally dosed if we stayed in a room covered in the stuff." He chuckled, "Can you fly us both back to base? I'd call the supercycle, but since it's sentient I don't want to find out if the pollen can affect it too. Plus cleaning the pollen out of it would be a nightmare." 

"Yeah, Course." She agreed, and they started shuffling back out of the room awkwardly while still wrapped in a hug. 

They made it to a window back out in the hallway which he held his breath as he let go with one arm to reach out and open. He felt her squeeze him tighter and knew she felt the loss of contact as keenly as he did. Once it was open he wrapped the arm back around her and a second later she had him in a princess carry as they took to the skies. 

"This definitely isn't very dignified." He snorted, "Don't tell Superboy you carried me like this." 

She laughed, "I'm not sure there is a super dignified way to carry you right now, given the whole pollen situation, but I won't tell." 

"Yeah, I know, that's why I'm not telling you to switch it." He agreed, "Thanks for not telling him though, I'd never live it down." 

"True, but that doesn't mean I can't tease you later." She pointed out with another laugh. 

"Shut up, he swatted at her shoulder lightly, and laughed along with her, "You need this just as much as I do." 

She just laughed again, and despite her teasing now, he knew she wouldn't use this against him later. Wonder Girl was good about not being an asshole like that, at least so long as you didn't deserve asshole treatment.

It didn't take too long to get back to base, thanks to Wonder Girl's flying and the fact that it wasn't too far away to begin with. When they touched down on the grass by the front door it didn't take more than twenty seconds for them to have a speedster in front of them. 

"Hey guys, are we hugging? Nice!" Bart crowed, moving forward to join them immediately. 

"NO!" He and Wonder Girl both shouted, and Bart did a double take before pouting. 

"Why not?" He cried, looking actually visibly upset at not being allowed into their hug. 

"Bart, we're covered in cuddle pollen, we need to decontaminate before anyone can touch us." Robin explained, and for once Bart actually seemed to listen to him. 

"Cuddle pollen doesn't sound so bad, I wouldn't mind getting to hug you guys." He argued, inching forward. 

"No, Bart!" Wonder Girl said sharply, "Listen to Rob on this one, if you get this stuff on you it'll mean you'll have to stay still for 8-12 hours to hug someone otherwise you'll be feeling incredibly terrible." 

"Oh," Bart scooched back, "that's a really long time to hold still." 

"Yeah," Robin huffed, "but we could use your help right now."

"Yeah, anything!" Bart nodded enthusiastically, then there was a flash and Bart was standing in front of them with bags of chips, "you guys need snacks ?" 

"Not right now, Bart." Wonder Girl said, a fond smile on her face, "thanks though." 

"Bart, I need you to go to each of our rooms, grab us each sweats and a tank top for WG, then meet us in the bathroom closest to the front door." He told Bart, glad to have the help since it meant they didn't have to figure out the mess of getting clothes after they'd taken their decontamination showers. 

Bart was gone, and he really hoped the speedster had actually listened to the instructions fully. He and Wonder Girl did their awkward hugging shuffle into the hotel, heading towards the gym area that was off the lobby to their right. Luckily any loose pollen there'd been on them had come off during the high speed flight so they weren't tracking it anywhere, but they still needed to shower thoroughly just to be sure. 

They headed into the locker room off the gym and then stopped as they assessed the shower situation. The decontamination showers back at the Cave were designed to be taken either as a group or individually, but these showers were very small individual stalls. 

"Um, Rob, I'm not really comfortable sharing one of those stalls with you naked." Wonder Girl said. 

"No, of course not." He assured her, "I'm just trying to see what other options we might have. It's looking like we either let go completely or we can hold hands over the divider." 

He watched her take off the goggles, and then it was just Cassie standing there with an arm around his waist. He took off his mask too, and then he was just Tim, even though she didn't know that that was his name he still felt a little more real when she could see his face. He was really glad Batman had let him show his face to his team, if not for this sort of moment then for the fact that having to ride out the pollen with a mask glued to his skin would've sucked. 

"Let's hold hands," Cassie decided, "that'll probably suck a little less." 

He nodded his agreement as they both walked over to the stalls. It was a little bit awful having to untangle themselves until they were only holding hands so they could step into individual stalls, but it wasn't outright painful. He felt the hitch in his breathing come back, and he could feel the tremor running through Cassie from where their hands were connected. He ignored it as best he could though as he started stripping out of his uniform and tossing it over into the stall on his other side to be collected and cleaned later. 

"I'm back guys!" Bart called, accompanied by the tell tale whoosh. "I'm leaving your clothes right outside your stalls." 

"Thanks Bart!" Cassie called, her shower turning on. 

"Good," Tim echoed, turning his own shower on, fighting the urge to yelp at the cold water, "Now, can you go get Cissie from her school. Tell her Cassie needs her for something important, but it's not a mission. Bring her to Cassie's room and make sure there's blankets, drinks, and snacks all within easy reach of the bed and wait there for us." 

"You got it Boss." Bart called, and there was the whoosh that signaled him leaving. 

"Well, this isn't exactly the way I expected to spend the girls day I've been wanting to have." Cassie joked, though there was a part of her voice that sounded genuinely unhappy. 

"That's alright, you and Cissie are thick as thieves, she'll be happy to spend the day with you however." He tried to reassure her as he scrubbed the soap over every inch of his skin. "Besides, it's like I said. I've been told that this stuff can be really nice if you've got the right person to hunker down with. You and Cissie will probably end up having a really nice afternoon. Plus, even if Secret can't hold a corporeal form for long enough to cuddle, I'm sure she'd still be happy to hang out so it'll be even more of a girls day." 

"That's true." Cassie said, and he could practically hear her perking up. 

Good, she deserved to have a nice day, and a nice experience with the pollen. She was a good person and a good hero and he was not going to be jealous of the fact that she had a best friend like that and a mom who was waiting at home for her and all the things he didn't normally care about when this stupid fucking pollen wasn't clouding his mind. 

Their showers didn't last long after that, and while they had needed to let go to dry off and get dressed they were able to do so pretty quickly. They came back together pretty quickly and the relief was immediate. 

"Did Bart forget to bring you a shirt or were you just too impatient?" She asked, a teasing lilt to her voice as she poked his shirtless shoulder. 

"Oh, uh, no I didn't tell him to bring one." He shrugged, trying not to blush and cursing himself for not explaining the pollen properly before, "This stuff makes you crave as much skin contact as possible, sorry if I made you uncomfortable I just thought this would be best." 

"No, no, it's fine." She laughed, "I honestly can't remember the last time Superboy managed to keep his shirt on for an entire day, and Bart runs around without a shirt all the time. I'm just teasing cause I don't think I've ever seen you without one." 

"Oh, uh yeah, I guess not." He agreed as they started making their way back across the lobby and towards the main stairs, "I've got scars and stuff, which Batman says are identifying features so I didn't go shirtless before cause of that, but you guys have seen my face now so it doesn't really matter anymore." 

She nodded against his shoulder as they made their way to the third floor, "Yeah that makes sense I guess. Does this mean you're gonna start running around shirtless all the time now too?" 

He snorted, "Definitely not, but I can swim with you guys now." 

"Oooh nice! I'll remember that next time we plan a pool day!" She crowed, and he could feel her grin against his shoulder, he knew they'd all been trying to get him to swim with them for a while now. 

"Yeah, it'll be nice to finally be able to." He agreed as they came to a stop outside Cassie's door and she reached out a hand to push it open. 

Cissie was inside, clearly already making herself comfy on the bed in a pair of Cassie's pajama pants and a crop top. Her eyes widened when she took in the sight of the two of them clinging to each other in the doorway. 

"Woah, what happened to you two?" She said, "Bart just said you needed me and then said he'd be back in a flash." 

Tim rolled his eyes at that, god forbid Bart ever hold still long enough to explain his reason for doing anything. 

"We're having a girls day is what's happening." Cassie explained, lifting her head from his shoulder to grin at her best friend, "Featuring 8-12 straight hours of cuddling!" 

Cissie blinked, "huh?" 

Tim sighed, this time at Cassie's apparent inability to explain things properly, "We got hit with Cuddle pollen on our last mission. It's this stuff out of Gotham, and it basically makes you feel really sucky unless you get enough skin to skin physical touch. It'll run in your system for about 8-12 hours depending on the person and the dosage, and based on our dosage I'd guess it'll be about 12 hours." 

"Oh," Cissie said, "So you need hugs? Is that all?" 

"Yeah, pretty much." He shrugged, "Look, Ciss, this can be a kind of big ask so you need to say now if you're not ok with it. Letting go of someone whose been dosed, there's not actual danger, but it really hurts, ok? So if you say yes to this thing you really gotta stick it out." 

"I- yeah, of course, yes!" Cissie was nodding, "I have literally no problem cuddling the day away especially if it's hurting you not to." 

"Great," he let out a puff of air, as he shuffled them towards the bed and pretended it was a sigh of relief instead of disappointment at the fact that he'd be on his own again soon, "Come and take her."

Cissie did, shuffling towards the edge of the bed and then wrapping her arms around Cassie's torso from behind and pulling her towards her. It took every last bit of his will power to let Cassie go, his knees buckling as he ended up sucking in desperate breaths as he knelt on the floor next to her bed. 

"Jesus, Rob, get over here." Cassie said, sounding incredibly worried. 

"No! Don't!" He gasped out as he saw one of her hands reaching towards him. "Just- Just give me a second." 

He stared down at where his hands were resting on his thighs, clenching and unclenching, visibly desperate for something that they could no longer cling onto. He forced his breath to steady itself as much as he could, but he knew the way his chest was hitching was still visible to both the girls, especially since he had no shirt. 

"It's alright, I'm alright." He tried to sooth the worried tension in the room as he got to his feet, "I'll get out of your hair now. I'll tell Bart to send Secret in if I run into him." 

"What, no?!" Cassie called, blinking up at him in confusion, "Rob, don't be ridiculous, just get in the bed." 

"You're alright Cassie, you don't need me anymore you're gonna be ok now." He tried to assure her as he backed towards the door, "Besides, it wouldn't really be a girls day with me here." 

Cissie and Cassie both scoffed in synch. "I think we can make an exception this time, dude." 

"Robin, I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you!" Cassie added, "You got hit with that stuff just as much as I did." 

He tried to scoff too, though it came out a bit choked, "I'm fine Cassie, I'm from Gotham, this isn't my first time riding this stuff out. I know what to do, I'll be fine, you don't need to bother being worried about me."

He was at the door now and he backed through it, "Bart should be back soon, so you can ask him if you guys need something. If he's not around then you can call for Superboy, he's here somewhere and he'll hear you if you need something." He told them, before turning on his heel and walking away. 

He heard them calling out after him, but he forced himself to keep walking. They were being kind with their offer, but he knew it wasn't something that they would genuinely want or even be comfortable with outside this scenario. They would be fine with the occasional friendly hug, but he didn't have the comfort level with them that they had with each other. He knew they already shared cassie's twin size mattress during sleepovers and that they could often be found sitting pressed together on the couch. It was different for the two of them, they could actually enjoy this time together versus it being awkward and kind of uncomfortable with him there for the next 12 hours. He wasn't going to subject any of them to that. 

He made his way back towards the stairwell, intending to grab the heating packs the girls kept in a drawer in the kitchen and heat them up before heading for his own bed. He was infinitely grateful that he'd had the forethought to set himself up here with some weighted blankets. Though they'd originally been intended for nights where he had trouble falling asleep, this would work too. 

He ran into Bart on the stairs, the telltale whoosh and suddenly his friend was standing in front of him with bottles of water and Gatorade and the chip bags from earlier. He watched as Bart set them down and lunged to hug him before he could stop it. Bart's arms wrapped around him lightning quick and squeezed hard, just long enough for him to relax into it instinctually before they were being ripped away again. 

Tim couldn't have helped the noise that was ripped out of his chest if he'd tried as he gripped at the banister to keep himself standing. 

"Nonononono! That was supposed to help!" Bart was saying, sounding incredibly distressed, "That wasn't- I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you! Let me try again!" 

"No!" Tim all but yelled as Bart tried to close the distance between them again, "No! God Bart please don't!" 

If it were anyone else, he'd never be able to look them in the eyes again after having to beg so desperately to them, but as it was Bart was both unlikely to hold it against him or really remember it. Not that Bart's ability to remember things was bad, from what Tim could tell Bart actually had great memory storage abilities. He just never took the time to actually recall any of those memories unless directly prompted to, and Tim had no intention of directly prompting him to.

"I- I'm really sorry, Rob, I didn't mean to hurt you." Tim's head whipped up, and yeah, those were genuine tears in Bart's eyes. 

"No, Bart, it's not your fault. You just can't do that again, ok?" He sighed, getting his legs to solidify enough to hold his weight without the banister, "This stuff, it's gotta be constant physical contact. If you touch me and then let go it really hurts, and, well, if you keep touching someone and letting go, um, that's been used as a torture tactic before actually, so please don't touch me right now." 

Bart looked suitably horrified at that, "I'm so sorry!" 

"No, its- like I said, its not your fault, you didn't know." He tried to smile kindly but he was pretty sure it came across as more of a grimace, "It'll be fine Bart, just take a deep breath and don't do it again." 

Bart did take a deep breath, but his eyes remained watery. Tim wished he could give the poor guy a hug without it hurting him so much. "I promise I won't, but Rob, what are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with Cassie?" 

Tim shook his head, "No, it's fine Bart, I didn't leave her alone, she's with Cissie now, she'll be fine." He assured the other boy, "Why don't you go drop off those snacks and drinks for them and then go round up Secret so they can have their girls day. I'm sure they'll let you hang out with them for a bit, or you can go bug Kon for company. I'm not going to be very fun today." 

Tim was prepared for Bart to nod and dash off, but instead he shook his head, "What about you?" 

"Oh, don't worry about me." Tim shook his head, realizing where the confusion was, "I'm just gonna go grab something from the kitchen and then I'm going to hunker down too. I've ridden this stuff out before, Bart, I know what to do. You don't need to be worried about me." 

With that he started heading down the stairs again, only pausing when Bart called out after him, "Are you sure?" 

"Yeah!" He called out, nodding to his friend, "I'll be fine, besides I'm mobile and the girls are not, go help them out." 

"I-ok." Bart agreed, though he sounded more reluctant then he ever did when he had a clear course of action, "Just, call me if you need something. I know I'm really bad at holding still, but there are drugs I can take that will knock me out for long enough for me to stay with you." 

Tim was touched, more touched than he expected to be. He knew Bart cared about him, Bart had always been open and honest about his affection for them all in a way that had always been refreshing to him. He hadn't expected Bart to offer to drug himself unconscious for 12 hours just to save him a bit of discomfort though. 

"Thanks, Bart, that- that's real nice of you." He said, turning back to look at his friend, "This stuff isn't deadly though, and it won't hurt me, so I don't want you drugging yourself over this, but thanks anyway." 

Bart nodded, chewing on his lip, "Just let me know if you change your mind." He said finally, and waited for him to nod before he disappeared again with the drinks and snacks. 

Tim sighed, all alone in the huge entry hall now. The next 12, or hopefully 11 at this point, hours were going to suck, but at least he had the assurance that there was actually someone willing to drug themselves to spend that time with him because they actually wanted to if he would let them. Hopefully that would be enough to tide him over and make this whole experience be a little better than he remembered his last run in with cuddle pollen being. 

............................................

It was around noon when he heard his name being called. He'd been in his room playing with the video game set up that Robin had installed for him and hadn't even changed out of his pajamas yet. 

There were actually four people calling his name, Cassie, Cissie, Secret, and Bart, and they sounded like things weren't all ok but also like it wasn't an emergency either. So he took the time to change out his pajama pants for a cleanish pair of sweats, not bothering with a shirt before heading in the direction of Cassie's room. 

Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure Cassie and Rob had gone on a mission this morning, they must be back now though. It was a bit of a surprise that Rob hadn't made them all circle up in the conference room they'd picked as their strategy/debrief room. Whatever, maybe they were doing the debrief in Cassie's room for some reason. 

"Hey, you called?" He said, swooping through the doorway before landing on the floor at the foot of the bed.

He took in the room, everyone was here except Robin. Cassie and Cissie were all cozy and curled up in the bed with Secret floating nearby. Bart was pacing by the window with tear tracks down his cheeks. Superboy blinked in shock at that. 

"Woah, hey, Bart? What's going on?" He asked, stepping towards him with his arms outstretched, "C'mere dude." 

Bart did, immediately burying himself in Superboy's chest and mumbling something so convoluted even his super hearing couldn't pick it out. 

"What was that, bud?" Kon asked gently, looking at the girls for some idea of what was going on here, but they all just looked worried and upset too. 

"I accidentally tortured Robin!" Bart exclaimed pulling away from Superboy to tug at his hair. 

"What?!" Kon asked, alarmed now, especially with Rob's absence, though that didn't stop him from pulling Bart's hands out of his hair and pulling his friend back into his arms. 

"That's not what happened Bart," Cissie said in a reassuring tone, "Besides, you didn't mean to hurt him." 

So Robin had been hurt in some way, even if it wasn't torture. 

"What happened?" He asked the room at large, "What is going on?" 

Cassie sat up a bit, though she stayed wrapped in Cissie's arms, "When Rob and I were on the mission this morning we got hit with cuddle pollen. It's this stuff out of Gotham, and it doesn't kill you or do permanent damage. It basically just makes you really miserable if you don't get physical touch while it's in your system for the next 8-12 hours." 

"So that's why you two are all cuddled up?" He nodded, gesturing between her and Cissie. 

They nodded, "Yeah. Rob and I were hugging before, and I thought that he told Bart to go get Cissie since we were going to be stuck here all day and it would get boring, but then he just had Cissie take me and he left. We tried to stop him cause he got hit with the stuff just as much as I did, but he just said we didn't need to worry about him and then left." 

"Then I ran into him on the stairs," Bart picked up, "And I knew that they needed physical touch and he was walking around all alone so I hugged him, but when I let go he made this noise like he was in pain. I tried to hug him again and he told me not to. He said the physical touch needed to be constant and that letting go like that was used  as a torture method over in Gotham cause it really hurt! So I basically tortured him." 

"He said that doing it repeatedly was a torture method," Secret corrected, "So, no you didn't." 

"Was he upset with you?" Kon asked Bart, who shook his head no.

"He said that I didn't know so it wasn't my fault." 

"Then it wasn't your fault, and he's not upset with you." Kon reassured him, "You're fine dude, take a breath." 

Bart did, then, let go, seeming better than before. "You gotta go find him." 

"What?" 

"Look, someone needs to, and Cassie and I aren't super mobile right now, Secret can't hold a corporeal form for more than a few minutes, and Robin said no to Bart's offer to drug himself to sleep so he could stay still long enough to do it." Cissie explained, seeming frustrated, "Which was a nice offer, but I get why he said no. This stuff isn't deadly or permanently harmful so there's no need to put yourself in a 12 hour coma over it. Especially when you are perfectly able to stay still, stay corporeal, and are mobile enough to get to him." 

"No, look, I get that part of it." He sighed, because he didn't want it to sound like he didn't want to help when he did, it was just... "It sounds like he left when you gave him an open invite for cuddles. If this stuff isn't dangerous, and he said no cause he's really uncomfortable about it for whatever reason, then I don't want to force the guy. Especially if the worst of this is that he feels a little uncomfy for the rest of the day." 

Cassie was already shaking her head, "It's not just 'kind of uncomfortable' Kon, it felt really bad. Like my skin was all wrong and I could scratch it all off just trying to make it feel right, and I was freezing even though the room wasn't cold. There was this feeling too, this certainty that I was never going to be touched by anyone ever again, like the world was suddenly empty even though Robin was right across the room, and that there was no one to ever touch me again. It feels really really awful," She explained, and he watched as Cissie squeezed her a bit tighter at hearing the words, "And he wasn't ok either. He was trying to look like he was but he wasn't. I could see him shaking and his chest was hitching every time he tried to breath. I don't want him alone if he doesn't have to be, Kon, no one deserves that." 

Something nervous was tangled in his chest and it wound itself tighter and tighter the more she talked. Honestly, he also didn't want Robin to be alone with this, but that didn't fix the problem he'd brought up. 

"Cass, I can't force him into something he's uncomfortable with." He sighed. 

"I know that, but I don't think he is uncomfortable with it. I think it's a pride thing. The way he said we didn't have to worry about him, and that he was from Gotham and knew what he was doing, I think he was trying to act tough and save some of his pride. Which is stupid, by the way, you boys are always stupid with that stuff." 

"Cass, if it's a pride thing, then I really don't think I'm the one we should send in." He pointed out, because he was not unaware of his own jackass tendencies despite the fact that he actually did want to help in this instance. 

"First of all, as we've already established everyone else either isn't an option or is tied up at the moment." Cassie started, "Second of all, you're the most likely to be an asshole about this whole situation to him, which is why it'll be best if it's you. He'll be expecting you to be judgmental, so if you go in, and don't act like a judgmental jackass, then he'll see that if even you're not judging him then his pride can remain intact and he'll let you help."

Superboy wasn't entirely sure about all that, if he was honest, but Cassie was smarter than him so it was worth a shot. "Alright, what do I need to know about how this stuff works?" 

Cassie nodded at him in approval, "We already took decontamination showers, so it won't affect you. It'll run in his system for about 8-12 hours, though he said we'd probably have it closer to the 12 hour mark since we got such a high dose. He'll need constant physical contact, as much of you guys touching as you can manage, holding hands can work for short periods of time if you really need to be mobile, but it's almost as bad as no contact so avoid it if possible. Taking away contact will hurt, so avoid that at all costs, and skin to skin contact is the best so it actually works in your favor that you're shirtless. You should grab something to eat and drink and bring it up with you since you'll be there for a while too. That's about it." 

He nodded, taking that all in, "Alright, but Cassie, I'm not touching him without his permission." 

She shook her head, "And I don't want you to. I want you to convince him to let you help him."

He nodded, "Good, as long as we're on the same page." And that was all he needed before he flew down to the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks before flying up to the top story of the hotel where he knew Robin's room was. 

He knocked on the door, hoping Robin had in fact taken shelter in there, and was rewarded with a sigh and a "I'm fine Bart, just go hang with the girls." 

He used his TTK to undo the lock and swing the door open, "Not Bart." 

A pair of blue eyes peered out of a mound of blankets on the bed. He had half a second to think, oh that's cute, before forcefully shutting down that train of thought. Cassie had said not to be a jackass, and he was fairly certain that thinking of your male friend as 'cute' was jackass behavior. 

The blue eyed mound on the bed groaned, "Look Superboy, can you at least wait till tomorrow to rag on me for this." 

He furrowed his brows as he kicked the door closed behind him, "I didn't come to rag on you." 

"Then why'd you come?" Rob sounded both miserable and frustrated. 

"Well, for one, I brought snacks." He announced, dropping the chips and drinks on the nightstand by the bed and then kneeling down so he was eye level with Rob instead of looming over the guy, "Also, the girls told me what happened and how much it sucks. I wanted to offer to help. Bart likes hugging me so I figure I can't be that bad at it." 

An amused huff came out of the blankets, "Bart likes hugging everyone." Rob pointed out. 

"True," he shrugged, taking note of the way the mound was trembling now that he was close enough to notice it, and Robin's breaths were coming in uneven pants, "That doesn't mean that I'm bad at it though." 

Robin sighed, "Look, SB, I appreciate it, but you've made the offer, I'm saying you don't have to worry about me. You can go, guilt free now." 

Kon felt his brows furrow again, this time further than before, Cassie had said that she thought this was a pride issue. Superboy knew pride pretty intimately, he knew the way it made you think and act, and this wasn't quite lining up with that. 

"Dude, I'm not here to get rid of some sort of guilt. I'm here because you're uncomfortable and you're my teammate." He tried, fighting to keep the frustration out of his voice, he'd never been great at the convincing people to accept his help part of the job. 

Robin blinked at him again, like something he'd just said was somehow confusing, "I appreciate that, SB, really, but you really don't have to do this. I don't know what the girls said, but this stuff doesn't actually do any harm. You're under no obligation to help me, I swear I'm not going to be upset if you don't or something. I really meant it when I said you could walk away guilt free right now. You don't have to bother with all this." 

Oh. Cassie was wrong, Cassie had been dead wrong. Superboy was well acquainted with pride, frankly there was probably a picture of him in the dictionary next to the word 'peacocking', which was how he knew with absolute certainty that while Robin was trying to tough it out, it wasn't due to pride. It was insecurity. 

He honestly had no idea what to do with that realization. Robin was their cool, confident, genius leader. He never seemed insecure, so Kon really really had no idea what to do with this realization. 

Luckily, he didn't need to figure that out until later because he already had his marching orders for the rest of the day from Cassie, and they were orders he honestly wanted to follow. 

"I'm not here out of obligation, Robin." He said, as firmly and as kindly as he could, "I'm here because I care about you and because I want to help." 

Robin seemed taken aback at that, "You... want to do this? Spend the next 11 hours in bed hugging me?" 

Which, ok yeah, that did seem like a lot, especially with a guy. Especially with a guy he'd never touched outside of training and missions much less hugged. Robin was his friend though, and he was hurting and Superboy wanted very badly to stop him from hurting and that was what it took to do that, so the decision was already made. 

"Fucking yes, Rob, I really do want to!" He said, losing his grip on his calm for a moment before reeling it back in, "Do I need to beg?" 

Robin's eyes blew wide at that, "N-no, of course not." 

"Ok then, can I help you?" He asked. 

"Y-yeah, ok." Robin nodded, and that was all Superboy needed. 

He used his TTK a bit to float himself over the Robin lump and onto the bed behind him before lifting the blankets to actually get to the Robin hidden in the lump. The blankets were heavier than he expected, not too heavy for him obviously but clearly weighted with enough of them that he was a little concerned Robin had been crushing himself. Some of the girls' heat packs slid out too and he tossed them to the foot of the bed. Robin was shirtless under the blankets too, which was a new sight, but he was distracted by how badly the other boy was shaking and the clear hitches in his chest as he tried to breathe. 

"Jesus, Rob." He muttered, reaching out to grab his shoulder, and as soon as his fingers made contact Robin was rolling towards him and wrapping his arms around him in the blink of an eye. 

Kon wrapped his arms around him in return easily and laid them back against the pillows so they'd be more comfortable. Robin was really warm already, likely thanks to the heat packs and mound of blankets, so he only used his TTK to pull one of the thinner unweighted blankets over them. Both because he liked the soft feeling and also cause it felt a bit weird to just be laying like this out in the open for anyone to see. Not that it would probably look much better with them under a blanket, but it still somehow felt like this was the better option. 

Whatever, everyone in the hotel already knew what they were doing. They'd basically ordered it actually, so they couldn't judge it. Not that it mattered, he'd have done it even if they did judge. 

He squeezed Robin a bit tighter, rubbing a hand up and down his back. It took a minute, but Robin started relaxing, the symptoms he'd been experiencing before easing out of him, and as that happened, the worry leaked out of Kon and he relaxed too, which for some reason made Robin relax even more. He wasn't going to question it though, whatever made Robin stop looking so miserable was what he was going to do. 

"You feeling better now?" He asked, keeping his voice low and relaxed as he continued rubbing up and down the other boy's back, trying not to think too hard about the scars he felt there.

Robin nodded against him, "Yeah, thanks." He said and then quieter whispered, "This feels really nice." 

He let the corners of his mouth upturn in a pleased grin, trying not to preen too obviously at the praise. He was pretty sure that might qualify 'jackass' behavior and he really didn't want Robin thinking he was getting cocky right now for some reason. 

"That's good." He said, "Cassie said it felt really shitty." 

"Yeah," Robin let out a huff of laughter against his neck, "That's one way to put it." 

Superboy hummed noncommittally, letting his mind wander a bit, "Hey, let me try something," he said, focusing his TTK so it created a bubble around Robin's form, adding pressure against his skin the same way his own arms were, "Does that feel good?" 

Robin actually groaned against him, wiggling impossibly closer, "Yes, god yes." He said in a breathless voice before freezing and trying to pull back a little, "sorry, that was embarrassing, I didn't mean to make it weird by reacting like that." 

Kon pulled him back against his chest fully, doing his best to hide the fact that he was practically glowing because he'd managed to help Robin well enough that he felt good enough to react like that. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm just glad it helps." He said, starting up the TTK pressure again and Robin practically melted against him. 

In his focus on the TTK, he realized he'd stopped rubbing his hand up and down Rob's back, and it was instead cupped around the other boy's ribs. It was weird, cause even though Rob was shorter and leaner than him, he'd never really thought of the boy as small. He still didn't really, small to him meant defenseless, and Robin was definitely not defenseless, but the curve of the bottom of Robin's rib cage fit perfectly in his hand. It felt right in his hand actually, like he was supposed to hold Robin like this, which was a really weird thought to have even given the circumstances. 

He cleared his throat, deciding they needed a subject change cause he wasn't going to think about his friend's ribs under his hand anymore, "Does it really feel like no one is ever going to touch you again?" He asked, "Cause Cassie said it did. She said it felt like even though you were right in front of her that the whole world was empty and there was no one left to hug her." 

Robin made a noncommittal noise at that, "Sort of. Everyone tends to get the 'no one will ever touch me again' feeling with the pollen, but the reason why you think no one will ever touch you again tends to be more personally tailored." 

"Oh," Superboy nodded, before the furrow in his brow came back "What's your reason then?" 

Robin stiffened against him. It was weird cause usually Robin wasn't this easy to read, he usually wasn't easy to read at all even with being able to listen to his heart and breathing and stuff. Between the other boy being pressed right up against him and how clearly wrung out he was from the pollen though, Kon guessed today was his once in a lifetime opportunity to really try to get to know his friend. 

"You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to." Kon told him, because he wanted Robin to relax against him again, it felt good when he did that, not just because it eased his own concern but also because it felt like he was finally doing something right when that happened. 

"No, it's just," he felt Robin let out a warm huff of air against his neck and did his best not to squirm at the ticklish sensation, "For, like, the first time ever, my reason is actually wrong, which makes it feel kind of ridiculous right now even though up until today I've been right about it." 

Now he was even more curious, "What was the reason then? Promise I won't make fun, even if it seems stupid right now." 

He felt Robin shrug, even as his head stayed buried against his neck, "It's just that- I was always so sure that no one was ever going to touch me again because nobody wanted to touch me." 

He said it like it was no big deal, but Kon felt like he'd been sucker punched anyway. Especially since Robin had said that before now, he'd been right about his reason. Cassie's pride theory, the one that he'd jumped on board with easily, was feeling so far away from the truth now that it was laughable. 

"That can't possibly have been true." He breathed out, then considered the other implication of what Rob had said, "Wait, does that mean you've always ridden this stuff out alone?" 

Robin shrugged again, "Other than the first time, yeah." 

And that was the answer that he hadn't known he'd been looking for, something must've gone wrong the first time, "If you did it with someone the first time, then it can't be true that no one wants to touch you."

Robin shook his head though, "Just cause Batman did it, doesn't mean he actually wanted to, and trust me, it was obvious he didn't." 

Superboy was well aware that he couldn't win a fight against Batman, but right at this moment he wanted to try anyway.

"I don't get it." He finally said, instead of the death threats that wanted to pour out of his mouth, settling for squeezing Robin tighter, "It's not even like this is bad or anything, why would he not want to?" 

Robin sighed, "It's complicated, and it's not really his fault."

Kon begged to fucking differ, actually, "I don't understand." He said instead. 

"It's, look, some people think Batman is my dad, but he's not. I have parents. It's not like-" he cut himself off, thinking for a minute before continuing, "Look I'm going to tell you something, and you need to not tell anyone else that I confirmed this theory to you." 

"I won't." He agreed easily, curiosity at whatever Bat secret he was about to be told.

"There's been more than one Robin. I'm not the first." Rob said, which was information that both was and wasn't surprising. 

Kon knew logically that Robin had existed for far longer than the Robin in his arms could have realistically been Robin without supernatural intervention, which the Bats were staunchly against. On the other hand though, he couldn't imagine any other Robin fighting by his side, so it still felt weird to know that there had been others.

"The Robin before me, he was Batman's kid, and he died." Kon felt the breath freeze in his throat, Jesus, that was awful, "Yeah," Robin said, probably feeling his reaction to the news, "Some people know about that, but don't go around telling anyone anyway. And if anyone finds out you know, then say that you figured it out cause you saw his display case in the Cave back when we were in Kid world." 

Kon nodded, still feeling a bit numb at the news and the remembrance of the display case with a Robin suit in it and the plaque reading 'a good soldier'. He'd thought, at the time, that it was some creepy reminder to Robin to stay in line and do his duty, but this was honestly so much worse. 

"Ok." He agreed through numb lips. 

"Anyway, the first time I got dosed it was really early on in my time as Robin, so I reported it, cause that's what we're supposed to do when we get hit with anything." Robin continued to explain, "And he stayed with me, held me the whole night and didn't complain at all, but I could still tell he didn't want to. He was stiff and it was, like, painfully awkward the whole time, which could've been cause we just didn't know each other that well yet, but I could practically feel the sadness radiating off of him even though he tried to hide it. I wasn't the one he wanted in his arms, and there wasn't anything I could do to fix that. After that first time I decided not to bother him with it again, it would be cruel to do that to him a second time, and even if we know each other better now so it'd be a bit less awkward probably, I don't want him to touch me again when I'm not the one he wants to be touching." 

That was.... So much to unpack. He was pretty sure that it was still Batman's fault at least a little bit somehow, but he wasn't sure how to articulate that. He wasn't really sure how to articulate any of his thoughts on that whole situation actually other than just, like, cursing, but he was pretty sure that wouldn't actually be any help to Robin, so he sidestepped the whole mess. 

"Ok, so he's off the table, but that's still not everyone." He pointed out, not sure why he was so determined to prove Robin's reason wrong, "You said you have parents, right? What about them, I'm pretty sure even shitty parents like Cissie's mom still want to touch their kids when they need it." 

Robin just shrugged again, "Um, well, my parents have never been there for it. They don't usually touch me like you have to touch someone for this to work anyway." 

That didn't add up, "They've never been there? Where were they?" 

"Different countries." Robin shrugged again, "They travel most of the year for work. It's how I get away with being Robin, I don't really have a lot of parental oversight." 

Robin's startling amount of independence suddenly made sense. And Robin's voice saying 'nobody wants to touch me' kept echoing around his head along with the 'they don't really touch me how you have to touch someone for this' and the implications of those two statements together were sickening. Kon didn't have family or parents and he didn't really have a great grasp on what it meant to have those things either, but he was pretty sure that there was something really wrong with the picture that was being painted about Robin's family. 

"What about Nightwing?" He asked, fighting to keep the desperation out of his voice, "I mean, he's kind of intimidating, but he seems nice, and he showed up for you at the 'parent conference' Red Tornado set up back when we started the group." 

"Nightwing probably would do it, actually, he's a pretty physically affectionate guy." Robin said, "And I'd let him, but it's still not exactly like he wants to be touching me, it's more like he just really likes physical affection." 

"Can't it be both?" Kon pointed out, hoping that for once in this list Robin's insecurity was getting the better of his rationale.

"I mean yeah, but then we run into the whole, Robin before me thing again. Like, does he actually care about me like that or am I just a pseudo replacement for the little brother he lost? I know he does care about me, it's just complicated and I try not to think about it too much." He explained, "Besides, it's been a moot point cause he's never been in town when I got dosed, he's like, literally not even on the planet right now actually." 

Honestly, Kon was at the point where he'd take 'off world but still sort of cared' as a win.

"Bart would do it. He'd want to touch you." He finally said with confidence. 

Robin let out a little chuckle, "Yeah, I know he would, but I barely knew him last time I got dosed, that's why I said before today it was true. Bart is kind of moot too though since he can't do it without inducing a coma and I'm not having him do that when this doesn't do any harm." 

"Pretty sure the girls would do it too." Kon pointed out, "Why'd you ditch them anyway?" 

"Secret can't hold a corporeal form long enough to do anything but hurt me," Robin started rattling off, "And Cassie and Cissie would want to ride it out with each other. I know they care, and that they'd do it, but they aren't comfortable with me like that. They wouldn't actually want to do it." 

Kon was pretty sure that wasn't strictly true, but that was for Cassie and Cissie to tell him. Kon couldn't actually explain motivations other than his own with any authority and Robin knew that too, so he wasn't going to bother trying. 

"Well, I can say with certainty that I want to be doing this." He said, pulling Robin impossibly closer. 

"Yeah, that's become apparent." Robin agreed, sounding a bit mystified by it, "That's also why I said, 'until today'." 

He was really glad Robin had just believed him, "Good, cause I really didn't want you to make me say it, that would've been weird for me." 

There was a pause before Robin snickered, seeming to understand what he meant, "Mmmm, actually, I think I do need to hear it." He prodded, sounding very amused with himself. 

"Oh, fuck off!" Kon laughed, loosening his grip just a  bit, "I don't have to be here you know, I can just let you go and leave right now." 

He was joking, he'd so completely and totally been joking he hadn't thought it was possible for Robin to take him seriously. He'd forgotten how, even if Robin wasn't actively suffering right now physically, he was still really wrung out and in a position where he was having to show weakness, and just all around not functioning with all cylinders right now, even just mentally. That much had been apparent with how much personal information he'd just shared which was possibly more than he'd shared in the entire time he'd known the other boy. 

That being said, it shouldn't have been surprising when Robin's grip on him tightened for a second before he practically ripped himself away, curling up against the headboard just out of Kon's reach. He watched in horror as Robin started scratching at his forearms even as he wrapped them around his own knees. How his shoulders hitched as his breaths started coming in ragged gasps and he trembled. There were scars too, lining the skin of his arms and shoulders that was visible around his knees, and there were newer redder marks, some with dried blood where Robin had clearly been scratching himself. 

"Y-you're right." Robin said, clenching his jaw, clearly frustrated at the way his voice shook, "You don't have to be here. You- you can go still, guilt free I swear. I- I'm sorry." He said, then tacked on a "For making it weird." Even though it had sounded like he was apologizing for more than that.

Kon was suitably horrified at this reaction and at having caused it. Jeez, Cassie had told him not to be a jackass and here he was being a complete and total jackass. He needed to fix this now. 

"Rob, no, I'm sorry. I was just teasing I didn't really mean it." He tried, "I wasn't going to let go." 

Robin just shook his head though, "No you're r-right, I- I made it w-weird. It's ok if you don't w-want to do this a-anymore." 

It was then that he knew what he needed to say, and even though Robin hadn't needed to hear it before, it was clear that he needed to now. 

"Robin, I still want to help you." He said, but that wasn't quite it, those weren't exactly the words he knew Robin needed to hear, even if the words were admittedly kind of weird and not ones he ever thought he'd be saying to a male friend, he was still happy to do it now, "Robin, I want to touch you." 

He watched as Robin's eyes blew wide at that, so blue they were almost glowing in the sunlight filtering in through the window. Superboy reached out a hand, and Robin's shaky hand lifted to meet it. In a couple years time, he'd think back on this day, having always known it was a catalyst to how their relationship changed, and realize that it wasn't actually the cuddle pollen that forced the change. Realistically they probably could've continued on how they'd been before, even after spending a whole night wrapped up in each other. It wasn't the 12 straight hours of physical touch that changed things, that could easily be brushed off under the guise of pollen induced need. No, it was the words 'I want to touch you.' that actually changed things, not that either of them realized it until much much later, or even acknowledged them. 

When Robin's fingertips met his own, it was just like the last time with Robin instantly flinging himself into his arms. And if Kon's TTK made him land just half a second sooner then no one could prove it. It was a forceful reunion, but Robin was tough and Superboy was ridiculously durable, so that was fine, good even. Maybe it was how it needed to happen actually, he mused as they wriggled around a bit again to get comfortable. When his hand found its place around Robin's ribs again, he knew they'd be fine.

Chapter Text

Unfortunately, despite everything going to shit the other day, the case was still ongoing. That meant, they needed to go get the data at the lab, preferably soon or they risked  someone in the organization circling back to destroy it all. 

The issue was that, in doing so, they risked getting exposed to the pollen again, and Tim for one wanted to avoid that if at all humanly possible. 

The solution came in the form of hazmat suits that Bart had found at a nearby decommissioned firehouse. They were still in great shape, but they were also unfortunately made to fit adult, firefighter-sized men. This meant that Superboy was the only one who even kind of fit into them, so he was sent alone to go pick up any relevant files he could find and bring them back to their base. 

That was why Tim was waiting, out on the front steps of the hotel, just soaking up the sun in a way he rarely ever got to in Gotham. He was kind of worried about Superboy having gone off on his own, especially since their team didn't have any comms, and that was technically the reason he was out here waiting for the first hint of his friend's return. He was also enjoying himself out here, not just cause of the sun but because he honestly felt more settled in his skin than he had maybe ever. 

He was used to feeling like total garbage after a cuddle pollen stint, but he didn't today. It was really weird, normally he'd just chock it up to having actually had the pollen's needs met, except he felt even better than he had that first time when he'd rode it out with Bruce. Maybe it was just that he didn't feel as emotionally destroyed after the experience as he had that time?

That was mostly true at least. Kon had been weirdly good about the whole situation. Hadn't even teased him beyond when he'd joked about letting go. Not even in the morning when they'd woken up tangled up together and they'd both blushed stupidly hard and Kon very easily could have made any number of teasing remarks to assuage the awkwardness. He just... hadn't, and Tim was weirdly grateful for it. He honestly hadn't realized how badly he always felt in his own skin until all the sudden he didn't anymore. 

It was like all the times Dick had pulled him into quick hugs, or ruffled his hair, or clasped his shoulder whenever he swung back into town for a bit was just a bunch of micro doses. Like, Tim had always known he felt a little bit awful, but it wasn't until he started getting those micro doses from Dick that he realized just what he was missing, and then once he realized he was missing it the 'feeling awful' got way worse. Then Kon had just gone and, like, macro-dosed him, and for the first time in potentially his whole life, his skin felt fucking settled.

Not that it actually mattered. He could ride out this nice feeling that he was pretty sure was just 'normal' until it ended, but he wasn't going to get another hit. The best he could possibly hope for was that Kon became a bit like Dick and casually put a hand on his shoulder sometimes or something and he'd be back to microdosing. Hey, maybe if he did then between Kon, Bart, and Dick he'd actually get something approaching the normal amount of physical touch the average kid was supposed to have. He knew it was unlikely, but he could always dream. 

"Hey," Cassie said, startling him out of his thoughts as she plopped down beside him with Cissie, who hadn't gone back to school yet, on his other side, "We should talk about yesterday." 

Yeah, he should've known this was coming. 

"Yeah, we should," he sighed running a hand through his hair, "Look, I'm sorry about making you uncomfortable yesterday with the hugging and everything. I just know how sucky that stuff can be and I could tell you were really freaked out and didn't really understand what was going on at first. I didn't know how else to help until I could get you back here to Cissie, but if you have any suggestions for how you'd want me to handle it if it happens again then I'm all ears." 

Both the girls were silent for a good few moments, and he watched them exchange a look with each other. Cissie was eventually the one to break the silence. 

"I think I'm going to smack him." She said, sounding bewildered as she looked between him and Cassie with a disbelieving expression, "I fear that may be the only option." 

Cassie sighed, "Rob, as always, you're a wonder. I don't know how you managed it, but that is both exactly what I wanted to talk to you about and also not at all what I meant." 

Tim just arched an eyebrow, waiting for her to explain what the hell she meant by that. 

"I wasn't uncomfortable with the hugging Robin, we got hit with Pollen and that alleviated the symptoms immediately, I'm glad you hugged me." She explained, "What I wanted to talk about was when you let go." 

"Oh, look, I know it wasn't a super comfy sensation even with Cissie already holding you, but a quick release was really the best way to do it." He shrugged, "Sorry." 

"Let me smack him, please, he's being so dense." He heard Cissie mutter, but Cassie ignored her so he did too.

He wondered what the hell her deal was. She'd seemed perfectly happy to be riding out the pollen with Cassie the other day so he was pretty sure she wasn't mad at him about dragging her into that. Except, he also hadn't done anything else recently to tick her off, not to his knowledge at least, so he really had no idea. 

"No, Rob. I'm not concerned about your method of letting go. I'm concerned about the fact that you let go at all." She explained, sounding some odd mix of frustrated and concerned, "Look, there's no shame in admitting that the pollen sucked, ok? You could have ridden it out with us and we wouldn't have judged you for it." 

He blinked at them, "Yeah, I know." He nodded, not really sure what exactly their point was, he'd known that yesterday too, "If I'd needed to I would have, but I didn't. Like I said, I'm pretty familiar with the stuff, I knew what I could and couldn't handle. There was no reason to put you guys out like that." 

Cissie scoffed, "Uh, yeah there was idiot. The reason was not putting yourself through unnecessary pain and discomfort." 

Cassie nodded, "Exactly." She then shrugged and added, "Besides, if you hadn't needed it then you wouldn't have let Kon help." 

Tim scoffed, "I didn't need it, that had nothing to do with letting Kon help. Like I said before, I've ridden this stuff out alone, I know how to handle it. This stuff pops up in Gotham a couple times a year, we've got Bat-protocols and stuff. I've got weighted blankets here and I borrowed your heating pads which was literally more than I actually needed to get me through." 

Cassie and Cissie exchanged another look at that, "Why'd you let Kon help then, if you didn't need it?" Cassie asked, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Yeah, and not us?" Cissie added. 

He was quiet for a moment, suddenly really tired with this conversation, and also embarrassed. How was he supposed to just straight up tell them, 'well Kon said he actually wanted to touch me and I knew that you didn't'. He may not be normal but he was normal enough to know that that wasn't something that a normal and well adjusted person said. Plus, he didn't want to explore the implications that he'd ridden it out alone previously cause no one wanted to touch him. It was bad enough that in his pollen-satiated contentment he'd let that slip to Kon, he did not need the rest of the team knowing too. 

"Look guys, not to be rude, but that really isn't any of your business." He said, giving up on coming up with a more subtle way to tell them to leave it, "It's not like it's relevant, beyond this case I doubt you guys will ever see the pollen again, and even with this case we know it's a possibility so we can take precautions like the hazmat suits. The odds of any of you guys ever getting dosed again is incredibly low so it's a moot point anyway." 

Cassie made a noise like she was going to protest, but just then he saw a dark spot on the horizon moving towards them. He stood up, shading his eyes with his hand as he fixated on the object, and it did actually end up being Superboy-the-yellow-hazmat-blob rocketing towards them. 

"He's back, why don't you guys go run and grab Secret and Bart so we can all get the data decontaminated and sorted out." He told the girls, ignoring the way he could feel them glaring at his back. 

They went reluctantly, Cissie grumbling about how she should've been allowed to smack him 'just a little upside the head, Cass, c'monnnn'. He waited patiently as the yellow blob got closer and closer, until soon enough he was able to make out the giant stack of papers, binders and folders in his arms. Tim imagined it was only through the other boy's TTK that he was able to make sure none of them got lost as he flew through the air at top speed. Probably through the same method that always kept his hair in place. 

Soon enough, Superboy was landing in front of him and immediately dropping the papers on the ground in a heap. Tim was about to lecture him about being more careful with all their data when Superboy literally ripped apart the hazmat suit to get himself out of it and it became readily apparent that something was really wrong. 

"R-Rob, I-I fucked u-up." Superboy stuttered out as he stood there quaking and hugging his ribs, "T-there's no d-damn tr-traction on the f-feet of this th-thing." He explained, kicking at the remnants of the hazmat suit on the ground, "I-I sl-slipped and a-a scalpel c-cut right thr-through the s-suit." 

Tim watched as Superboy took a step towards him, eyes desperate like a man in the desert who saw water, and reached a trembling arm out towards him. Tim jumped back before he could make contact though, and he watched as Superboy's expression shuttered. 

"S-sorry." Superboy got out around his clenched jaw. 

"No, SB, it's fine." Tim tried to console him somehow, "You just gotta shower first before you can touch anyone. As soon as you're done we'll get you all set up, I promise." 

Superboy nodded, though he still didn't seem particularly steady as he followed Tim inside. Not that he could really expect anyone to be, given the pollen. When they stepped into the foyer he saw the rest of the group making their way down the stairs. They'd been joking about something but he saw them all stop and their expressions sober when they laid eyes on him and Kon. 

"Go ahead to the showers, toss your suit in a different stall and scrub every inch of yourself with soap." He told Kon, who ducked his head and continued on towards the gym. 

"Is he ok?" Bart was suddenly standing right in front of him, already chewing at his lip. 

"He got hit with the pollen," Tim explained as the others rushed over to him. 

He heard Cassie mutter, "'it's a moot point anyway', my ass!"

He ignored her, "Bart, can you go grab me a pair of his sweats?" 

He blinked and Bart was holding out a pair of sweats to him. Tim took them and tucked them under one arm, "Alright," he addressed the group, "He's gonna need someone to ride it out with, and I figure he can pick who he wants. Does anyone want to take themselves off the table as an option? No explanation needed, guilt free, if you're not up for it then it's totally fine." 

They all shook their heads, "No I think we're all down." Cassie answered, "Well, except Secret since she literally can't." 

Secret looked upset but nodded, "Sorry." She added. 

He shook his head though, "Not your fault," he assured her before turning to Bart, "And you're kind of off the table too." 

Bart shook his head though, "I'll take drugs." He offered earnestly. "I know you don't want me to  and he probably won't pick me cause he doesn't want me to either, but I need him to know the offer is there and that I mean it." 

Tim accepted that with a nod, secure in the knowledge that Kon wasn't going to let their friend drug himself either way, so if this made Bart feel better then he'd let it go. 

"Alright, cool. Bart can you go set up Kon's room like you did Cassie's yesterday?" He asked the speedster, who saluted. 

"On it." He announced and then was gone with a telltale whoosh. 

"Ok, so we gotta deal with the documents somehow. They're still outside so I was thinking we could spread out all the papers and weigh them down with something, then Secret, you could blow some wind over them and it'll brush off any of the pollen on there. Then we'll just make sure to wear gloves if we're touching them after that and it should be fine." He started instructing. "If you guys want to go get started on that, and Bart can join once he's done. I'm gonna go check on Kon and get him all set up." 

The girls all nodded and then they headed off towards the front lawn with their marching orders. He headed towards the locker room where he could hear one of the showers going. 

"Hey, you alive?" He called out, and when he got an affirmative noise added, "I've got sweats for you to change into, I'm leaving them outside your stall so you can grab them when you're done." 

He dropped them where he said he would and then moved to stand by the opposite wall in an attempt to make Kon feel like some of his privacy was intact. It didn't take long for the water to cut off and a hand to reach around the flimsy curtain to grab the sweats. A few seconds after that the curtain was being pulled open and Kon stepped out, rubbing the towel over his hair and then over his shoulders and chest and arms. Then he kept rubbing it over his torso and arms. 

Tim clicked his tongue, "Jeez Kon, you're going to rub your skin right off if you don't stop." 

Not that he had room to talk given the scratches still visible all over his arms, which Kon was now staring pointedly at. 

"C-can't. In-invincible." Kon forced out the words, which, yeah, but still. 

Tim chose to sidestep that debate and instead started, "I don't know if you heard us out there, but-"

"I h-heard." Kon interrupted, still standing right outside the shower stall and staring right at Tim with this unreadable and intense expression. 

"Ok, great." Tim said, nodding along with himself and not really sure what to do with the way Kon was acting, "So you know the whole team volunteered to ride it out with you, except Secret who can't, and you probably shouldn't pick Bart but he wanted you to know he offered." 

There was a faint fond smile that flashed across Kon's face at that. "I-I know." 

Tim waited, but he didn't follow that up with anything so he tried again, "Ok, so just let me know who you pick. I can run and get Cassie or Cissie if that's what you want, but I'm gonna need some sort of verbal confirmation here." 

Kon kept staring at him, "I-" he tried before cutting himself off, "Can-" he tried again but was no more successful and instead seemed to just go back to staring at Tim and looking miserable. 

Ok, whatever the pollen was doing to him was not making it easy to say whatever he was trying to say. Tim knew first hand the way it didn't just affect you physically but the more time that passed the more it messed with your thoughts and emotions too. 

"Hey," he started, softer this time, "I'm not sure what you're thinking right now, but we all want to help. You just gotta take the help offered, ok?" He opened his arms, trying to make his body language read as open and inviting as possible, "You can hug me right now, if you want." 

For whatever reason, those were apparently the magic words for Kon, because a second later Tim's feet were dangling off the ground as he was being squeezed up against Kon's chest. He instinctually wrapped his arms around the other boy's neck, letting his head rest against Kon's shoulder after another moment as he felt the other boy relax. It took a minute for him to calm down thanks to how long he'd been on his own with the pollen and how worked up he'd gotten, but after a minute or two Tim could feel the shaking stop altogether and Kon's breathing steady itself. 

"Feeling better?" He asked softly, one of his hands rubbing over Kon's shoulder blades in a way that he hoped felt as soothing as it had to him yesterday when Kon had rubbed up and down his spine. 

Kon nodded against him, "God, that stuff is awful." 

Tim let out a light chuckle, "Yeah, tell me about it." 

Kon just squeezed him harder at that and they stayed there for another minute before Tim broke the silence, "So you ready to make your pick on who to ride it out with?" 

He felt Kon stiffen against him, "Are you... not an option?" He asked haltingly. 

Tim felt his breath hitch a little in surprise, "No, I am. I just-" The words caught in his chest as they were all the sudden flying through the hotel in the blink of an eye and a second later they were lying in Kon's bed with the door shutting behind them, "-didn't think you'd pick me." He finished a bit lamely. 

Clearly he'd been wrong. 

Kon huffed indignantly at his words as he shuffled them around so they were laying more comfortably, "I know this is a novel concept for you, but like I said yesterday Rob, I want to touch you." 

"Right," Tim said slowly, forcing himself to nod, "Yeah, no, I know. I just figured since the girls were an option and you, like, totally have a crush on Cassie and you used to hit on Cissie a lot that you'd take the opportunity to get all cozy with one of them." 

Plus, well, Tim was Tim and he had no idea why he'd be anyone's first choice for this really, but he had the wherewithal today at least to not say that. 

Kon shifted, "First of all, I totally don't have a crush on Cassie," Alright, good to know he was still denying that, Tim took note, "And second of all, using this as an excuse to trap them in bed with me where we can't stop touching each other for hours feels more icky than I'm willing to be in an attempt to hook up with a hot chick, but especially with them since they're our friends and all." 

"Huh, guess that's fair enough." Tim huffed, "Makes sense now why you picked me." 

Kon groaned at that, "Nope, that's why I didn't pick them, not the same as why I did pick you, dumbass." 

Tim blinked at that before something in his mind clicked, "Oh, this is a mutually assured destruction for teasing material thing." 

Kon pinched his shoulder for that, "No, it's not! I mean, that makes me feel a bit better about this whole scenario now that you mention it, but I didn't actually consider that before now so no!" Kon was definitely rolling his eyes even if Tim couldn't see it right now, "Seriously, what happened to you being ‘trained by the world's greatest detective' or whatever. This should not be such a mystery to you." 

Tim felt something in him bristle at the dig, "Alright, fine then. What am I missing?" 

Kon laughed, not a mean laugh though, just a disbelieving one, "That's the thing, I already told you. I picked you because I wanted to." He explained, sounding exasperated and a bit embarrassed, "I realized I got dosed when I fell back at the lab, but I figured since I'm not exactly human and with my powers and stuff that maybe it wouldn't work on me. Plus I still had data to collect so I just kept going instead of coming right back. I started feeling bad pretty quick, but I ignored it and just kept going cause y'know, I'm Superboy, I'm super strong and invincible. It got really bad though after like 20-30 minutes and I had collected pretty much everything paper in the lab at that point, so I headed back. And on the flight back it kept getting worse and I kept just thinking about how it'd be better when I got back here and I could get a hug, and when I pictured getting that hug it was you that I pictured hugging. It wasn't some thought out pros and cons list or even a conscious decision, it was just instinct, ok? Nothing more to it." 

Tim processed that, and he thought he understood, "So it was familiarity from yesterday that fed into your instincts today." He said, nodding along because that made sense, "Kinda like muscle memory." 

Kon squeezed him so tight it was a little painful, "I'm going to hug you to death now, Jesus Christ Robin, I don't know who fucked you up so much about this stuff, but once again, I want to touch you. You are my friend and I care about you. Plus, since clearly this has escaped your keen observational skills, I actually like hugging you. Like, right now this feels pretty fucking amazing."

"Well, yeah, that's what the pollen does." Tim pointed out. 

"Nope, it's not just the pollen, because hugging you yesterday felt good too and I wasn't the one dosed." Kon shot back, and Tim didn't actually have an argument for that, he knew from the last time that he'd let someone help that there was nothing to make the person helping you enjoy the contact and Kon had just said that he did anyway, which he didn't know what to do with, "Hah, good, looks like I've finally gotten you to stop arguing. Now can we put this argument to bed, pun totally intended, at least for now?" 

Tim was quiet for a minute, but eventually nodded. If, for whatever reason, Kon wanted him to be here, then he would happily be here for this. That was all that really mattered now, not the reason why. 

"Yeah, alright." He nodded, finally letting himself settle in for the long haul as Kon's grip on him relaxed from sort of painful into still tight but not painful at all. 

It was then that he realized he was still wearing his shirt, and he started wriggling around in Kon's hold to try and pull it off so he could get Kon more of the skin contact he knew the other boy needed. It was impossible with how tight Kon's arms were around him though, and he huffed in frustration. 

"You gotta let go for a sec-" He tried to tell the other boy but got cut off. 

"No!" Kon said, arms tightening again, "I can't do that." 

Which, ok yeah, poor choice of words given the circumstances. Tim knew it was incredibly difficult to willingly let go of someone when on pollen unless you were already being held by someone else too, and even that was difficult. Hell, he knew that for some people, it was actually impossible to let go. 

"No, sorry, I didn't mean it like that." He tried to explain, "I just need you to loosen up enough for me to get my shirt off. The more skin contact the smoother the pollen will pass through your system." 

A second later and his shirt was floating away from him in tatters and flopping onto the floor. Kon's TTK the clear culprit. 

"You're right, this is better." Kon hummed, pulling him closer somehow.

"That felt unnecessary." Tim pointed out, "What if I'd really liked that shirt?" 

"Please, you wear the most generic clothes possible around us so we can't use them to guess at your identity, I know you've got a pack with four more of that exact shirt in your room." Kon pointed out, which was unfortunately true, sometimes he forgot that Kon could be pretty observant too, "Either way, it was totally necessary. Seriously Rob, I have no clue how you let go yesterday, and multiple times too. I haven't even done it once and I'm pretty sure I'd never recover if I did."

This time it was Tim’s turn to tighten his hold around Kon, burying his face a little more in the other boy’s shoulder, trying very hard not to think about the other reason he’d sworn to himself he wouldn’t let the pollen control him the way it was meant to.

 “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” He murmured, the sound masked by Kon’s shoulder. 

Unfortunately, Kon had superhearing, and could still make it out with little effort. He stayed quiet for a few moments though, seeming to be debating on whether or not he should ask. 

“Ok, now I’m kinda curious.” Kon broke the silence, clearly having made his decision, “How?” 

Tim huffed out what was supposed to be an amused laugh, but didn’t end up being very amused, “There was this case I worked, back in Gotham, a while ago. It’s- I don’t know, I’ve been doing the whole vigilante thing for a while and even before that I’d been running around the streets of Gotham at night too, so I’ve seen and experienced some really nasty stuff, right? And it’s fine, I do everything I can to help or I solve the case or whatever then I take off the suit and carry on living and it’s fine, I move on from all that crappy stuff. Except, I mean, you know this, every once in a while a case or a mission gets to you, for whatever reason, and this one did. It really freaked me out, and afterwards I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let myself not be able to control myself while dosed with the pollen.” 

Kon was squeezing back just as tightly as he was now, and it was silent for another few moments. He sort of hoped Kon wouldn’t ask, but he also knew it was only a matter of time. 

“Ok, I gotta know what case managed to freak you out so bad dude,” Kon said finally, when it became apparent he wasn’t going to continue without prompting, “C’mon, share with the class.” 

Tim sighed, “Are you sure you want to know right now? While you’re still on the pollen?”

Kon was already nodding though, “Yeah, I can handle it, I’m literally Superboy.” 

Tim resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Whatever, it was his funeral.

“So basically, there was this married couple, and the guy was a real dog, y’know. Cheated on his wife all the time with all sorts of different ladies. He even gave his wife an STI at one point.” Tim started explaining.

“Sounds like a real tool.” Kon commented. 

“Yeah, he was. The wife, she got really fed up with it and they had this big fight where he promised he’d never cheat again and she said that if he did then she’d stab him in the back that he presented her with when he fucked some other chick.” Tim continued, not sure why he was going into such detail with this when he could’ve just rattled off the basic summary he’d typed up in the case file.

Something in him felt desperate to get it out though, this case that he’d worked with B, who had just taken it in stride meanwhile it’d given Tim reoccurring nightmares to this day. He wanted someone else to understand, to validate the horror that Tim had never been able to get rid of about this case. He couldn’t help it so now every detail was spilling out. 

“That’s one hell of a threat.” Kon hummed, “I guess I’d probably be mad enough to make death threats at that point too, in fairness.” 

“It wasn’t a threat. It was a warning.” Tim whispered, unable to keep the haunted tone out of his voice even when it was that quiet, “She hired this female assassin. Paid her to prop up a bar he frequented after work, and to pretend to be wooed by him when he inevitably approached her. She took him back to this motel, the kind that didn’t ask questions about the noises the occupants made, no matter what. She waited until he kissed her before she knocked him out. That was apparently the cut off point that had been set up between her and the wife for their cheating test. If he just hadn’t kissed her, if he’d just left then he would’ve passed even after hitting on her and stuff.” 

“I mean, kissing is definitely cheating.” Kon said, though he sounded wary, like he knew that whatever happened next, it was probably worse than what was deserved for cheating. 

Tim just hummed in agreement before continuing. “They dosed him with pollen and waited for him to wake up. He eventually did after the pollen symptoms had really set in. The guy was sitting on one of those foot rests that they put by a couch, you know what I’m talking about? The little squares of couch material that people set their feet up on?” Kon nodded against him and Tim continued, “So he sat up and was on one of those, and the assassin, she was standing across from him in lingerie. The symptoms from the pollen were already pretty bad, so when she asked him if he’d like to have a sexy lady in his lap he begged for it. So she went over and straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around him and he wrapped his arms around her too and started relaxing since the pollen had been sated. Then she pulled a knife out of her bracelet and started carving into his back.” 

He felt Kon jolt a bit at that and Tim tried really hard not to think of the way his fingernails had been idly scratching across Kon’s shoulder blades and how it was just a little similar to the way he remembered her having clawed gouges into that man’s back. He stopped the movement, laying his palm flat on Kon’s back instead. 

“She just, she kept doing it, she broke his fingers and cut off his ears and carved up his back. She skinned him in a lot of places, there were a lot of spots where he was just meat, no skin. Then after a couple hours, after he was almost dead from shock and blood loss anyway, the wife comes in. The assassin hands her the knife and she stabs him in the back just like she promised.” Tim finishes, trying to suppress the shudders that he’s pretty sure Kon notices anyway, “I just- the violence isn’t what bothers me about it. It’s- he wasn’t- they didn’t tie him down or anything. They didn’t stop him from throwing her off or running away or anything. It was just the pollen, he couldn’t let go, and he didn’t.” 

Kon was squeezing him really tight now, and Tim was squeezing back just as tightly somehow despite not having super strength. Even as his arms shook a bit from the effort of doing so. 

“That’s like, really messed up.” Kon said eventually, “How do you even know all those details? Did they confess?” 

Tim shook his head, “Partially it was evidence we collected about their negotiation, but they also filmed that night.” 

“And you watched it?” Kon sounded a mix of disbelieving and horrified, “Doesn’t the Bat do any childproofing?” 

Tim shrugged, “I’m not allowed to work rape cases, and I wasn’t allowed in Gotham back when it got like, a post-apocalyptic kind of bad, remember. Besides, I don’t think he actually meant for me to see the video, for what it’s worth. It’s just- I was trying to verify some of the details for the case file we were gonna give to the cops so they could get a conviction in court, and it was the only way.” Then added belatedly, “Also I’m not a child.” 

“I mean, legally…” Kon started and Tim pinched his shoulder. 

“Shut up, you’re technically, like, a toddler or something.” He huffed out. 

Kon laughed, but it sounded strained, like he was still thinking about the case too. “Is that why you could let go?” He asked, “You, what? Promised yourself you’d never be as desperate as that guy?” 

Tim shook his head, “I think that’s the part that freaked me out so much, is that I know that I am that desperate. I just swore that wouldn’t let the pollen control me like that anyway, cause I don’t know how to make myself stop being that desperate.” 

“Well shit, Rob,” Kon huffed, “from what I can tell I think everyone is that fucking desperate when they’re on this stuff, isn’t that, like, what it was designed for?” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, “No, I know. Like I said, I don’t know why this case stuck with me so much compared to any other.” 

He decidedly did not say that his real fear was that he was that desperate even without the pollen. That information would have to be pried out of his cold dead chest if that was even possible. 

It was quiet for another minute and Tim could tell that Kon was thinking hard about something, though it took his a while to figure out what it was. 

He sighed when he did, “You want to see if you can let go now, don’t you?” 

Kon huffed out a nervous laugh, “Want to? No. Feel the desperate need to find out if I can just so I can assure myself I won’t die that way? Yes.” 

Tim huffed out his own small laugh, “I get that. I’ll warn you though, I think the two times I rode it out alone before yesterday helped me build up a bit of a tolerance.” 

“Yeah, probably.” Kon nodded, “I think I need to try anyway though.” 

“You sure?” Tim asked, a knot of dread forming in the pit of his stomach, “Kon, it- like I told Bart the other day, doing it repeatedly has been used as a torture method. It feels- it feels really bad.” 

“Yeah, I kind of figured, but I gotta try it.” Kon said, and Tim understood, he really, really did. 

“Alright.” He said, unwrapping his arms from the other boy and tucking them against his own chest, “I suggest you just rip yourself off real quick, you’ll never manage it if you try and ease away.” 

“Noted.” Kon said, sucking in a couple deep breaths, “Alright, here I go.” 

He sucked in one last sharp breath and then ripped himself away, using his TTK to basically fling himself into the corner of his room where he immediately collapsed to his knees. 

“O-oh god.” Kon gasped out, and then went absolutely silent as the tremors got worse with every passing second and his breaths came and went in ragged gasps. 

Tim waited ten seconds that turned into twenty, expecting Kon to leap back to him as soon as he’d proven to himself that he could let go, except he didn’t. Soon enough thirty seconds was turning to forty. 

“Kon, I think you’ve proven you can let go.” Tim said, worry battering against his ribs from the inside, telling him to just grab Kon. 

He remembered all the talks he’d gotten both at school and by B about consent though, and even if this wasn’t sex he was pretty sure it still applied. You needed permission to touch someone, especially when they were in a vulnerable position, and it didn’t matter if you’d already touched someone before, you still needed consent to do it again. 

Kon didn’t dive at him though, or even say anything. He just looked up and stared at Tim with that same intense look as before. 

“Kon, come back. I’m right here.” He tried again, infusing his voice with a bit of the commanding tone he used as their team leader. 

That didn’t seem to work either. Kon was scratching at his arms now, though thankfully his powers made it so it didn’t do any damage. He was still staring at Tim though, super intensely, and maybe a bit distrustfully now? He could swear that hadn’t been there before. Tim thought desperately for the words that would snap Kon out of whatever this was. 

He’d never seen someone hold themselves back the way that Kon was, it was really disturbing actually. Most people managing to hold themselves back looked absolutely desperate to be doing the opposite, Tim was sure that was what he looked like too. Kon looked like he was more worried about being touched than he was of not being touched, which was a deeply disturbing thought to have about his friend. 

He almost said ‘I want to touch you’, but those had been the words that he’d needed to hear, not the ones that Kon did. He thought desperately back to the locker room, to what he’d said then. 

“Kon,” he started, swallowing down the nerves that’d turned to fear at this point at whatever was wrong with his friend, and opened his arms again as he sat on the edge of the bed, “If you want to hug me again then you can.” 

Something had changed in Kon’s posture at the words ‘if you want’ and by the time Tim had finished his sentence his back was flopping onto the mattress as a desperate half-kryptonian threw himself at him. Tim’s arms wrapped tight around him in relief, one arm rubbing across his back again as Kon used his TTK to move them up the bed and settle against the pillows once more, this time with Tim on his back and Kon flopped on top of him so they were stomach to stomach with his arms hugging around where Tim’s back arched naturally off the bed. Tim kept rubbing circles into Kon’s back with one hand as his tremors slowly eased up and threaded the fingers of his other hand into Kon’s hair, scratching at his scalp where the other boy’s head laid on his chest juts under his chin. 

Kon let out what had to have been an involuntary moan at the sensation and wriggled impossibly closer, “Oh my god please never ever stop doing that.” Then, seemed to remember himself, cleared his throat and then added in a deeper voice, “I mean, that feels fine, I suppose.” 

Tim couldn’t help the laugh that came out of him at that, although if he was being honest it sounded more like a noise of relief than amusement, “Does it really feel that good to have a hand in your hair or is it just you getting a hug again?” 

“I- well the relief from the hug probably makes it feel a bit better.” Kon admitted, deflating a little against him, “but it also just feels really good.” 

“Huh,” Tim said, not knowing if that was true or just a thing for Kon, “Guess I’ll have to take your word for it.” 

“Nah,” Kon said, sounding totally nonchalant about what was definitely not a nonchalant sentence, “Just remind me to do it to you next time, you’ll see.” 

Tim almost choked, “Next time?” 

Kon shrugged against him, “I mean yeah, next time you get dosed, remind me, and I’ll give you a scalp massage too. Then you’ll see! Hey, bet I can get you to make an even more embarrassing noise than I did!” 

Tim ignored the competition that Kon would probably have lost anyway since Tim knew he was good at being quiet and focused on the first part of that statement instead. 

“Dude, I highly doubt there’s going to be a next time.” He told Kon, “Cuddle Pollen doesn’t really exist outside of Gotham and YJ isn’t allowed to take missions in Gotham. So the odds, outside of our current mission, of us dealing with this stuff again is extraordinarily low.” 

“I mean yeah, I know none of us will likely get dosed again” Kon agreed, “but you work and live in Gotham.” 

“So?” Tim asked, sensing where this was going but not willing to believe it yet. 

“Soooo, you’re likely to get dosed again at some point, right?” Kon said, and when Tim nodded continued like it was obvious, “So I’ll just do it then?”

Tim was stunned silent for a moment before, “You’ll what?” 

Kon sighed, like Tim was the one who was acting crazy, “Dude, I’m going to help you out whenever you get dosed. Yesterday wasn’t a one time thing. You don’t just stop being my friend the second you’re working a case with Batman instead of us.” 

Which, conceptually made sense. Tim didn’t stop caring about his friends at YJ just cause he was back in Gotham either. Still though, being on deck to help out with pollen at any moment was a tall order, and not one he’d ever intended to burden someone with. 

“Look, I get it. Your whole thing about not wanting to ride this stuff out with someone who doesn’t want to be touching you. It makes sense.” Kon continued on in that same ‘this is supposed to be obvious’ tone, “And I get that for some reason you’re hard up on people who actually fit that category and who can actually, like, be there to help you out. But you have me now. I want to and I can be there to help.”

“That’s a lot to ask of you, Kon.” Tim tried pointing out. 

“Don’t care. I’m Superboy, I think I can handle it just fine.” Kon huffed, “So, next time you get dosed and neglect to inform Batman about it. You’re going to call my name and I’ll hear you and come right away, got it?” 

Tim had so many things to say to that, his main concern being, “You’ll hear me? Since when does your hearing consistently go that far?” 

Kon just shrugged though, “I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I’ve locked in on all of you guys’ voices specifically. I can kind of hear you guys all the time in the back of my mind like whispers that I can’t make out, but if you yell my name then I’ll definitely hear it. I can’t do it with anyone else though, it’s pretty much just you guys.” 

Tim took a second to digest that, it freaked him out a little that Kon could just hear him all the time, but he also didn’t think the other boy was lying when he said he couldn’t actually hear any details. Like Tim was just a familiar buzzing of background noise, but if he suddenly got really loud yelling Kon’s name, then he’d be distinguishable from the other background noises. It was weird, and even if he could see the advantage of always being able to call someone for help, he still didn’t really like the idea of it, but he could accept it. 

“Hey,” Kon said, “I said, got it?” 

He could think of a million reasons to argue, but Kon was stubborn and bull-headed. Once he got an idea like this he didn’t let up. Plus, well, the idea of not ever having to ride out the pollen alone again was really tempting. He’d have to work out logistics and contingencies, but, yeah. 

“Got it.” He said, pretty sure he actually meant it, not that lying to Kon was usually effective given he could hear heartbeats and all, “I’ll call.” 

“Good.” Kon hummed his approval, tension releasing from him that Tim hadn’t even realized he was holding onto. 

He still didn’t quite know what to do with the idea that Kon actually wanted to do that for him, but now wasn’t really the time to dig into it. His own deal with the pollen wasn’t really that important right now, even with it still kind of raw from yesterday. No, Kon was the one currently dosed, and Tim had no shortage of concern about how it was affecting him to focus on. 

“Hey, Kon.” He broke the comfortable quiet that’d settled over them after the last minute or two, “Before, when you let go, I’ve never seen someone on pollen react to being separated the way you did.” 

Kon stiffened again, and Tim started running his fingers through Kon’s hair again, not having realized he stopped, in an attempt to sooth him during what wasn’t likely to be a fun conversation. 

“Um, yeah, I- uh,” he broke off, clearing his throat before trying again, “I was prepared for it to hurt you know, to start shaking again and for it to be hard to breath steady and all that physical stuff. I mean, I remember you doing it yesterday and it seemed like all the physical stuff took hold immediately, so I was ready for that. I just didn’t realize that all the, like, bad thoughts were gonna come back so hard.” 

“Oh,” Tim realized what must’ve happened, “Kon, I’m sorry, I forgot to warn you about that. I just- I dunno, I guess I thought it was assumed, but it’s not. I’m so sorry.” 

Kon was shaking his head though, a slight enough movement to not dislodge Tim’s fingers but enough to be understood, “Not your fault Rob, I just wasn’t prepared for it. Honestly, I’m not sure it would’ve mattered if I was. The thoughts. They’re, like, you can’t even reason your way out of them like you normally can. There’s just this total certainty, like I was just really really sure and the longer I sat there the more sure I got and the less I could try and think anything else.” 

“It’s,” Tim sighed, tightening the arm around Kon’s shoulders around him in an attempt at comfort, “Yeah, past hour one it gets really bad with the mental stuff.”

“Robin, I think somethings wrong with me though, or this stuff isn’t affecting me right.” Kon said, tensing up even more, “I- you said that everyone has that universal thought that no one is ever gonna touch ‘em again, but that’s not the thought I have.” 

Tim’s mind was racing a mile a minute at that, “What thought do you have?” He’d heard of a lot of different reasons why, but he’d never heard of a different universal thought. 

“It was like, like no one was going to touch me again for me, like this, what we’re doing now.” Kon tried explaining, and Tim could tell he was frustrated cause he didn’t quite know how to explain it. “Like, I was sure people were going to touch me again, but for them not for me. Like they were just going to take and take and keep taking and never give anything back. The way it used to be, because, well, you don’t hug your little science experiment, y’know. It just- it made me start thinking like how they wanted me to think, I’m not a person I’m just a tool for them, something they can do whatever they want with and never give anything in return and that that was fine, because I’m not a person, I’m someone’s project. They’d touch me, but only to pin me down so I couldn’t escape when they cut into me, never for something like this.” 

At that he squeezed Tim harder, but Tim already felt breathless enough that it didn’t make it any harder to breathe. “Kon, you’re a person. Of course you’re a person! You can- there are people, us, the team especially, who don’t want to take from you, I swear. We’re happy to give. It’s- none of us see you that way, and it’s not fucking true anyway.”

“No, I know. Or at least I know you guys are like that.” Kon nodded against him, “And I don’t think of myself that way, not ever. I just- I don’t know why, but the pollen put me straight into that headspace. And I- it doesn’t make me want to cooperate with it, it makes me miserable but it doesn’t make me willing to just let someone experiment on me again. I get to keep my defiance, along with a healthy dose of fear, in- well, in every way but one I guess.” 

Tim’s hand stilled in Kon’s hair, getting the sense he was really not going to like the answer to his question, “Every way but what?” 

Kon stiffened even more somehow, there was a pause and then, “It makes it really hard to talk.” 

Which, Tim had noticed the silence accompanied by intense staring, and how it’d seemed difficult for Kon to talk earlier in the locker room, but he’d thought, “Cause your teeth are chattering too hard, right?” He asked, hoping desperately for what he knew would be futile. 

Kon somehow curled himself tighter around him, and Tim got the impression he was hiding even though that was kind of impossible. 

Then, in an absolutely dead sounding voice that Tim knew he would never forget, Kon said, “Experiment thirteen is not permitted speech unless directly instructed.” Like he was parroting something he’d heard before. More than once. 

Tim was never telling Kon to shut up ever again. No matter how annoying the other boy got. 

“Fuck them.” He snarled out, pulling Kon closer to him still, “Seriously Kon, fuck them, talk whenever you want to. They’re full of absolute shit and they had no fucking right-”

“I know, Rob.” Kon interrupted, something fond and amused in his voice, even if there was strain there too. “I swear I know that, and normally I never even think about that stuff anymore. It’s just, the pollen, y’know. I think by making me think no one’s ever gonna touch me unless it’s like that it puts me back in that old headspace even while I’ve got all these instincts now that lean more towards defiance. It’s fine, I don’t struggle with it normally, really.” 

Tim forced himself to settle a bit. There were still some scientists and rich assholes whose days were fucking numbered, but that wasn’t exactly new. He just had some additional motivation now. 

He honestly believed Kon when he said he didn’t have an issue with knowing he could talk now, and with being defiant. It lined up with all of Robin’s observations and analysis on him. Kon truly believed in his own personhood, at the very least, and the inherent rights that came along with that. 

“I just- do you think the pollen is affecting me wrong?” Kon asked, “Since I’m not having the thought quite right?” 

Tim shook his head, “No, I think it’s just how it got personalized. I think you’re fine. Everything else you’re dealing with is normal, we have no reason to think the pollen won’t pass through your system the way it does everyone else.” He assured the other boy, fairly certain it was the truth, “If something goes wrong though, we’ll call Batman in and he’ll know how to fix it.” 

Kon shuddered, “Yeah, I’d really rather not call in Batman, especially when I’m like this.” 

“Yeah me neither.” Tim agreed, “that’s why I said we’d only do it if something was wrong, which it’s not, so we won’t.” 

“Yeah, alright.” Kon agreed, “I guess if it’s a last resort.” 

“It is.” Tim assured him, leveling out his voice in his best approximation of a soothing tone. 

He started running his fingers through Kon’s hair again and occasionally scratching his nails lightly over the other boy’s scalp. Kon melted against him slowly as they just lay there in silence. Tim wasn’t really sure how good it could feel to have someone else’s fingers all in your hair, but it seemed to really settle Kon, and after how emotionally draining the last day and a half had been that was sort of the goal. Plus, he had to admit that the repetitive motion plus the warm weight on top of him was pretty soothing. 

Sure enough, he felt himself relaxing too, his eyelids beginning to droop. He could hear a low rumbling coming from Kon and felt some slight vibrations from the other boy’s chest and assumed he must be asleep enough to be snoring. Well, if Kon was feeling relaxed enough to fall asleep then there was no reason Tim couldn’t fall asleep too, especially since they’d be stuck here for a while. So he let his eyelids droop all the way closed, didn’t force them back open, and let his hand still in the other boy’s hair, just resting on his head as he drifted off to sleep.  

Chapter Text

"Ok, there is no way that me and Rob pretending that we're banging is the only viable option for this mission." Kon protested, because, like, c'mon! 

"What do you want me to say Superboy, the targets are young gay couples, and Bart can't go undercover." Cassie shot back, "What other suggestion do you have?" 

"I dunno Cass, why don't you and Cissie do it?" He fired off immediately. 

"I'm not on the team anymore." Cissie pointed out from where she was lounging on the other end of the conference room table with a gameboy and a slushee. 

"Well you sure hang around here a lot for someone 'not on the team'." Kon shot back at her, like a dumbass. 

Cissie looked up from her game, something unsure in her gaze, "I can go back to school, if I'm getting in the way or whatever." She offered, voice perfectly nonchalant, but he could hear her heart rabbiting. 

"No!" The rest of them cried in unison. 

"Don't listen to him." Cassie said, shooting a glare at Kon, "We always want you to be here." 

Bart nodded along enthusiastically from where he was literally bouncing in his seat. Robin also nodded, though his was less exuberant. 

"Sorry Ciss, that came out bad." Kon sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I'm just-"

"Being homophobic, yeah I got that." Cissie cut him off, which immediately pissed him right back off. 

"I am not-" He started, but this time it was Robin who cut him off. 

"It's a moot point anyway. Cassie could never do it with another girl because whoever this person or people are they haven't shown any interest whatsoever in lesbian couples. They've only ever taken gay male couples." Robin pointed out. 

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" Kon turned on him, not sure why Robin wasn't with him on this. 

"The side with the best plan for taking this sicko down, which right now is Wonder Girl's plan." Robin stated, before adding, "I don't understand why this is bothering you any way." 

"It bothers me because I'm not gay!" Kon exclaimed, because how had Robin forgotten that part? 

"Literally no one said you were." He heard Cissie say, but Robin replied before he could turn back to her, 

"Right, neither am I." Robin stated, clear and concise, "Do you not understand what undercover means? I thought you did given how you were bragging last week about how you'd be the best at it. I'd be happy to explain what it means if you need me to though." 

"I know what it means." Kon practically growled, about to absolutely tear Robin a new one when he was shut down. 

"Then what exactly is your problem?" Robin asked, a dangerous gleam in his eye that made Kon actually consider. 

He wasn't really sure what his problem was, other than the fact that he wasn't gay. It made him pause. Was he offended that they thought he could pass as gay? Except, that wouldn't be reasonable since the whole point of being undercover was to act as though you were someone else, not who you yourself were. So what was it exactly that bothered him? Was it actually having to go through with playing the role? Yeah, that must be it, he figured. He made sure to take a deep breath and calm himself down  before explaining. He could tell by how frustrated they seemed with him that they wouldn't listen if he started yelling again. 

"I don't want to be hooking up with Rob, whether or not it's undercover that's still my tongue in his mouth, or more." Kon said carefully, calmly so they wouldn't think he was just flying off the handle and being homophobic or whatever he was coming across as before, "That's- I guess if it's literally the only possible way to save these people's lives then I could do it, but I really don't want to if we have other options." 

Robin nodded at him, "And that is a valid concern, one that I share actually. I'm only willing to go so far with this act if we have other options as well." Robin agreed, turning back to Cassie, "I think you should start over and make sure to explain exactly what our roles would entail and why this plan is our most viable option." 

Cassie rolled her eyes, though she flipped her papers back to the beginning again, grumbling out an, "I wouldn't have to be doing this if some people had just listened the first time." 

Robin clicked his tongue at that, "Tensions and tempers run high and presentations of plans and strategies get interrupted all the time in this business. Do you even know how many contingencies Batman makes for when he has to present plans? Trust me, this is good practice for when you get to the big leagues." 

Cassie rolled her eyes again, clearly unhappy anyway about having to start over, but not grumbling anymore. 

"Plus you lost Bart." Kon added, pointing to where his seat was empty.

That got Cassie to look up and then swear when she saw the empty seat before spotting Bart at the other end of the conference table where he and Cissie seemed to be playing on her game boy together.

"Impulse!" She snapped, and his head shot up to look at her, "I'm still presenting my plan! What are you doing over there?" 

Bart just waved her off though and went back to looking over Cissie's shoulder, "I read your notes while you all were arguing. Your plan is good, you've got my vote." 

Well, at least he'd actually read the plan instead of just not paying the slightest bit of attention. That felt like character growth on Bart's part if he was honest, even if he still couldn't sit through the duration of one of these meanings. Cassie seemed to think making Bart pay attention was a losing battle anyway, and didn't bother. 

"Alright, so we've got what's either a group or an individual who is taking young gay couples off the streets of San Francisco. The kidnapper or kidnappers are then killing their victims and then chopping up their bodies and Frankensteining them back together over a robot skeleton to create some sort of rudimentary cyborg army." Cassie explained, "The problem is that we haven't been able to track them back to wherever their base is or even catch them kidnapping a couple. Which we need to find in order to be able to stop them. Now, all of his targets have been gay couples between the age of 15-19, which you two fit into and that's why you're the ideal targets to send in. The plan is that you two catch their attention and get kidnapped while wearing trackers. Then me, Impulse, and Secret can follow the trackers and break you two out and then we can all take this psycho down." 

"And what if the trackers don't work for some reason?" Robin asked, "What's the contingency for that?" 

"Well, in that case, then Secret, who will also be following you in stealth mode will simply alert us of your location. If that, for some reason, falls through then they aren't expecting you to be more than defenseless teenagers, so you guys can just do your Robin and Superboy thing and break yourselves out." Cassie shrugged, "And if that doesn't work, we call in Superman and he can track you guys the way SB can, and/or you set off your emergency beacon that'll have Batman on your tail." 

Both he and Rob grimaced at that, exchanging a look, "Yeah I don't think we want to be calling either of them in." Kon pointed out. 

"Hence the reason it's our last resort." She shrugged, "Any other comments or concerns about the backup options?" 

He, Robin, and Secret all shook their heads, and Cassie nodded once before continuing, "Now, as for your previous concerns about your roles." She shot a harsh side eye at Kon at that, "These were couples, that, for the most part were under 18. Only one of the couples had any sort of a nightlife at all, so there's no reason for you guys to need to be doing anything remotely sexual like grinding in a club or making out in some dark corner. We've got a list of the places that overlapped for where all these couples frequented and they include places like cafes, libraries, and a farmers market. Frankly, as far as how physical you two will need to get, there's really no need for you to do anything more than a peck on the cheek." 

Kon felt himself settle a bit more at that, after all, the cuddle pollen incidents had been only two weeks ago, if they didn't even need to kiss for this mission, then it couldn't be any worse than that had been. Not that that had been bad, other than obviously the pollen itself. He'd actually felt better than he had ever before after that whole 48 hours was over, and the glow from it was only just starting to fade. He had to say, the pollen was a bitch when he was on it, but it had the opposite of a hangover effect and he'd been really enjoying it until it started fading a day or two ago. Oh well, he'd always known it wouldn't last forever. 

"That seems fine, I guess." He admitted defeat to Cassie, "Now that you explain it like that." 

Something sparked in her eyes and he could see her actively resisting the urge to snap at him, probably something about how if he'd just heard her out the first time then he would've already known that. 

"Right, so while you're there, you guys are going to be trying to seem like the best possible targets you can be." Cassie continued, "Your story, which you will be sharing any chance you get, is that you came out to your families and they kicked you both out so you guys headed for San Francisco cause that's where you heard the other gays were. It's just the two of you, young and in love, against the world and making the best of a shitty coming out. Ergo, there's no one who will even notice you're missing. Hopefully that's enough to get you guys taken and then we can proceed with the rest of our plan. Any questions?" 

Everyone stayed quiet and after a few moments Robin said, "I guess that's a no for questions, raise your hand if you're in favor of this plan?" 

Everyone, including Kon, raised their hands. Despite his earlier protests, and the fact that he wasn't looking forward to having to act like he was gay, it was in fact a good plan. Plus, the people that were being preyed on deserved the best help their group could manage to offer, no one deserved that fate, so he would never shoot down a good plan to help them. 

"Great, now that that's settled, we'll enact the plan on Wednesday." Cassie gave a sharp nod, "which gives us two days starting in the morning of prep time. I suggest you two start pretending to be a couple when you wake up tomorrow so you can get used to it since, judging by your outburst earlier," she looked right at Kon, "And your general demeanor," she shot a look at Robin, "It'll probably take some getting used to before you can convincingly play your roles." 

Well, at least Kon wasn't the only problem Cassie was pointing out. Not that that meant he was happy about the rest of it. He groaned, flopping back in his chair and setting it spinning as he continued groaning dramatically. At least one of the perks of using one of the hotel's fancy conference rooms for their important mission meetings was that they had spinny chairs. 

"Any objections from you, Rob?" Cassie asked, rolling her eyes at Kon, who flipped her the bird in return. 

Just cause he was going along with it did not mean he had to refrain from expressing his discontent with the situation. Loudly, and emphatically. At every opportunity. 

"I... am aware of the necessity of preparing properly for an undercover role." Robin said, though he seemed hesitant to agree, not like he was unsure more like he just didn't want to say it. 

Meaning that Robin was also uncomfortable with this whole thing, but couldn't find a good reason not to go through with it. That both made Kon feel better because at least he wasn't the only one not super jazzed about this assignment, but also didn't make him feel better at all because if Robin had no arguments then that meant they were going through with it anyway. 

"Great, consider the next two days a test run mission." Cassie grinned at them, "You have the next two days to convince me, Cissie, Secret, and Bart that you two are a couple." 

"Without any mouth on mouth action!" Kon asserted quickly, just in case anyone had forgotten that that was part of the deal here.

"Right, agreed, no kissing." Robin nodded, "But yeah, challenge accepted, I guess." 

"Yeah, I'm going to kick all of your asses at undercover work." Kon added in, because he had been talking about how good he'd be at undercover stuff a while ago and he intended to follow through on it. 

...............................................

"Ok, this isn't working." Cissie finally said, having cornered the two of them after movie night the next day. "Seriously you guys aren't convincing as a couple at all." 

Kon groaned, "Probably cause we aren't actually gay! This isn't easy, you know!" 

It wasn't easy, it was incredibly freaking awkward actually. Neither of them seeming to have any idea on what to do and each time either of them tried to reach out to even touch the other the motion was always met stiffly at best and with no indication that they had any physical familiarity with each other at all. He knew they weren't being convincing, but he also didn't know how to fix it. 

It was like every time he tried to figure out what to do or how to act his brain's only advice was just 'be gay be gay be gay be gay'. Except that was no help because Kon didn't actually know how to be gay on account of him not really being gay. It was a mess, and he had no idea how to look at Robin as desirable the way he would some cute girl he saw in the street either. Picturing Robin with boobs also didn't help, then he was just Robin with boobs and it was weird. Kon was at a total loss. 

Rob clearly wasn't having an easy time of it either with the way he stiffened up every time Kon got close enough to touch him. Plus he was incredibly hesitant whenever he tried reaching out to touch Kon, like he had no idea how to initiate physical affection with another person. 

That actually might be the case, if Kon thought about some of the stuff the other boy had said during the pollen incidents. 

"If you have any constructive critiques or suggestions," Robin said, voice calm but his posture was tense, "Please feel free to share them." 

"Look, I think you guys are overthinking this. Stop trying to look at each other and pretend that the other person is someone you could sleep with and be attracted to like that." Cissie told them. "You're not playing a couple in a context where you need to act like that anyway." 

"Isn't that all a couple is?" Kon asked, "Two people who want to hook up on the regular and also kind of care about each other?" 

"No. Just, no." Cissie sighed, "God, I think you just ruined dating for me in one sentence, Kon. That's got to be some sort of a record or something." 

He looked at Robin for help, not entirely sure what he'd done to earn that reaction from her. Robin just shrugged back at him, which wasn't very helpful. 

"Look, just forget all of that. If that's your idea of what being a couple is then stop even thinking about this undercover role as you guys being a couple." Cissie instructed, rubbing her fingers to her temples, "Forget about being gay or being in love or there being anything romantic or sexual at all about the roles you're playing. Just act like you care about each other. Act like you are comfortable around each other, like you want to be in each other's spaces. Act like you want to touch each other." 

He felt Robin jolt beside him the slightest bit, enough that if he hadn't heard his heartbeat stutter too then he would've dismissed it as not having really happened. Not that Kon could blame him, not when Cissie's words made things click for him too. 

After all, wasn't that exactly what he'd said to Robin during the pollen incidents? 'I want to touch you'. He'd meant it too, he'd wanted to be touching Robin, had wanted to help him. Except it wasn't 100% about helping him because if that was entirely what it was then hugging Robin wouldn't have been as comfortable as it was. He'd felt nice hugging the other boy, he'd felt comfortable touching him and in his space, hell he'd slept pretty great both those nights too. 

There was an idea forming in the back of his mind, an understanding of how they could make this work. How they had already made this work. 

"Dude I think I get it." He elbowed Robin lightly, "Cissie is totally right, think about how her and Cassie are, if we just act like we're friends like them but up the affection a bit, we could totally pass as a couple, but we'd be doing it as friends!" 

"Uh, I definitely don't remember the words 'act like me and Cassie' in my suggestion," Cissie said, eyes flitting between the two of them, "But if that makes it click for you then sure." 

"We just gotta act like we're them and we've been hit with pollen again and this should be easy peasy." Kon continued, grinning excitedly at Robin at having figured it out.

"We can't act like we would be in serious physical discomfort or pain if we weren't touching, that's too extreme." Robin pointed out, "there's such a thing as over acting." 

Kon considered that, "Ok then, we act like we got hit with a new form of pollen that doesn't hurt us if we're separated, but when we're touching it feels nice. And like we're friends who have blanket permission to touch each other to help with the pollen." 

"That is literally just what normal physical affection is, Jesus Christ. He literally just suggested, 'what if we just do normal physical affection' and Robin looks like he suggested something highly intelligent, fucking idiots." He heard Cissie mutter under her breath quietly enough that he wouldn't have been able to hear it without his super hearing. He elected not to acknowledge what she said and instead focused on Robin.

Robin seemed to be considering it, a thoughtful expression on his face, "That could work. We'd just also have to call each other babe and we'd theoretically be set." 

"Great!" Kon grinned brightly, because that was almost a glowing commendation from the other boy, "Now c'mon, babe, I've got another one of my fantastic ideas." He said, grabbing Robin's hand in his own and pulling him along towards the stairs leading to the bedrooms.

Robin let him, following easily as they headed towards Kon's room and waiting till they were behind the closed door to ask, "So what exactly is this great idea of yours?" 

"We're going to sleep together." Kon said, grinning, then back tracked immediately when Robin's face turned bright red, "NOT LIKE THAT! I MEAN LITERALLY SLEEP!" He corrected, "Like we did when we were on the pollen." 

"Ok, uh, why?" Robin asked, face returning to its normal color with only a hint of rosy embarrassment still high on his cheeks, "The others aren't going to see us do it so it won't convince them we're dating." 

"No, I know, but look, think about it, half our issue is that we don't know how to be in each other's spaces like that without being hopped up on pollen. We're both super stiff and awkward cause we don't really know what we're doing and how to do it. But if you think about Cassie and Cissie, think of how comfy they are in each other's spaces." Kon did his best to explain, "So, how do we be like that? Especially since we don't have a long time to get comfortable with each other like they've had. So we jump straight into the deep end, right, that's gotta be the only way. I figure if we spend the night sleeping together while, like, hugging and shit, this time with no pollen to help, we'll wake up less awkward about this." 

He wasn't entirely sure that his explanation made a whole lot of sense. Honestly, he was having trouble turning the abstract concepts in his mind into the concrete plans he knew they could be. Robin had always been their plans and strategy guy for a reason after all. 

After a full minute of silence Kon's nervous energy won out and he asked, "Did that make sense? If it didn't then I can try explaining again." 

Robin shook his head though, "No, actually I think that might be a really good idea." 

Kon grinned, that bright thing in his chest blooming like it always did when someone said he'd done well. Then it slowly shriveled as Robin continued just standing there silently. 

"Um, ok, what's the hold up then?" He asked tentatively. 

Robin shook his head again, "It's just... gonna be weird I guess." 

Kon shrugged, "I mean yeah, that's the whole point. We're getting the weirdness out now. It'll be easier with it just being us anyway, the others constantly watching us earlier wasn't really helping this feel less awkward." 

"That's true," Robin finally cracked a small grin, which just meant that the corners of his mouth twitched upwards but Kon would take it, "So, how exactly do you want to do this?" 

"First, you need to go put pajamas on, cause I'm not cuddling with you while you're in jeans." Kon said, pointing towards his door. "Then, when you get back, we'll go to bed. Sound like a plan?" 

Robin nodded, "Yeah." Then turned to head out the door before pausing and turning back, "I don't know what's up with you today, but you gotta start making plans like this more often instead of your usual 'I'll just punch it real hard' variety." 

"Yeah well, I'm good at punching stuff real hard." He shot back instantly, before making a shooing motion at the other boy, "Now go put on something to sleep in." 

Rob did actually leave at that, and Kon took the opportunity to change into his own sleep clothes. Electing to throw on a t-shirt tonight when he normally wouldn't wear one since he was gonna be sharing his bed with Robin. When he was done he brushed his teeth and climbed into bed, choosing to make himself comfy instead of just standing in the middle of the room awkwardly like he was inclined to do. 

He was going to make this work, damnit, he had two very important reasons for why he needed to make this work. First of all, despite the awkwardness he felt about it, he could not afford to let Robin think he didn't want to touch him. Kon knew if that happened then he could kiss any chance of Robin calling him next time he got hit with the pollen goodbye, which he wasn't going to let happen if he could help it. The second reason being that he'd said he'd kick ass at undercover work in front of everyone, and he was so not letting his and Rob's awkwardness get in the way of that. 

Robin returned a couple minutes later, this time in comfier clothes. He hovered by the door, looking unsure and Kon couldn't help but roll his eyes. 

"Dude, do you need an invitation or something?" He asked, half joking in the hopes that it'd take some of the tension out of the room. 

Some tension did leave Robin's shoulders at that and he shrugged, "I mean, consent is important or whatever." 

"Alright, well, you have blanket consent to touch me however you want to until this mission is over." Kon said, cocking his head to the side a bit, "And you?" 

"And me what?" Robin asked, brows furrowing in confusion. 

Kon rolled his eyes again, "You're literally the one who said consent is important, so do I have yours?" 

"Oh, yeah, totally." Robin's eyes widened for a second in surprise before he smoothed out his features into something more professional, "You have my consent for the duration of this mission and its preparation to make whatever physical contact you deem appropriate." 

Kon laughed at how formal that sounded, "Great, you weird little nerd, now get in bed." He said, flipping the corner of the blanket down on the side closest to Robin. 

Robin scowled at him for the teasing, but it didn't have any heat behind it, and climbed into the bed without any more argument. Kon, who was already settled against the pillows just opened his arms to the other boy and Robin, ever so gently, laid himself down in them. 

It was... Kon didn't really know what to make of it, because Robin was a pretty good actor. Every action of his as he settled in against Kon was radiating comfort and relaxation, they were the smooth movements of someone who was familiar with this kind of affection, who was comfortable with it. It was a really good act, but it was an act. The movements were smooth, but deliberate, thought out, the way they wouldn't be if they were as instinctual as Robin was trying to present them as. 

Kon could let that go though. After all, this was an act. So long as Robin's act was good enough to fool an outside observer, which it was, it didn't really matter that Kon could tell it was an act. He could ignore it if not for the fact that Robin's heart rate was through the roof. The guy was totally freaking out, and Kon would not be able to get comfortable with this if it was making Robin wig out. 

"Hey, what's got you so freaked?" Kon asked, loosening his grip and leaning back so he could actually see Robin's face. 

Blue eyes blinked up at him from a blank expression, "I'm not freaked, just relax Kon." 

"Dude, I can hear your heart, you're totally freaked." He argued, not letting it go, especially since Robin's pulse was even faster now, "Robin, listen, if you're really not comfortable with me touching you then we don't have to do this. We can find another way to complete the mission. You don't even have to explain yourself, I'll tell the others to leave it. Seriously, I-"

"No! No. I'm fine with it, that's not..." Robin cut him off, shaking his head in a way that made his hair rub against Kon's bicep, "I'm fine with you touching me, that's not the problem." 

Well, at least he'd gotten Robin to admit that there was a problem, now he just had to play the guessing game to figure out what it was. 

"Am I a bad hugger?" He asked, half joking, half serious now that he considered the possibility, "If I am you gotta tell me dude, at the very least so I can fix it before Wednesday." 

"What? No, Kon, don't be ridiculous." Robin scoffed, like the idea really was preposterous, "You're a great hugger." 

Kon did his best to stop himself from visibly preening at the off-handed compliment. One would think it wouldn't mean much given how dismissively it'd been said, but that just made it mean more. That meant it was true! Something Robin considered an inarguable fact, 2+2=4, the earth spins, Kon is a great hugger. 

He forced himself to focus back in on the issue at hand. "So what's the deal then?" 

"It doesn't matter, I'll fix it." Robin said, before scooting a bit closer to Kon and resting his head on his shoulder this time like that proved he could fix it. 

Kon let it go for a while, maybe Robin just needed some time to work through whatever discomfort he was feeling about this whole thing before he could relax. To his credit, his heart rate did slow over the next minute or two to something approaching his normal resting heart rate, though not quite there. Not that that had actually meant he'd calmed down though, no he definitely hadn't. He wasn't sure how Robin was managing it, but despite his body and posture emanating relaxation, he was also somehow exuding so much tenseness that it was seeping into Kon. 

"Ok, dude. We need to talk this out, what is going on in your head right now?" Kon finally snapped after half an hour of this with neither of them any closer to sleep, "Whatever it is, you can tell me, ok? We'll add it in with the pollen NDAs you had us both sign, alright? Nothing you or I say in this bed tonight can be used against us or shared with anyone else. I'll sign a new paper and everything." 

Tim sighed, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes, "I'm sorry." He sighed, "I know I'm being difficult right now, I just-"

He cut himself off, and Kon nudged him, "Just what? Seriously if it's something I'm doing wrong you can tell me. We all know CADMUS left some gaps when it was implanting knowledge in my noggin or whatever, it's not a big deal." 

"No, I-" Robin huffed sounding incredibly frustrated, "It's not you, it's me!" He finally got out. 

Kon couldn't help the way he grinned at the phrasing, "Are you breaking up with me, babe?" 

"No," Robin groaned, "It's just- I'm the problem, ok? Not you. It's my fault." 

Kon went over the last day in his head, but he couldn't really find any moment that would indicate that Robin had done anything wrong or that he was the problem. Honestly, until Cissie had talked to them they'd both pretty equally been the problem. Even now, yeah Robin clearly was freaking out about something, but Kon wouldn't say that he was 'wrong' or 'at fault'. 

"I don't get it." Kon told him honestly. 

Robin sighed again, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets hard enough that Kon was a bit worried he was going to do damage. He was about to step in and try to gently redirect his friend's hands when words kind of just exploded out of said friend. 

"I don't know what I'm doing!" He nearly shouted before sucking in a sharp breath and wincing, clearly noting how loud he'd been, "Sorry," he muttered, much quieter, "I just- that's the problem with me and physical affection, I don't know how to do it. There's not really any Bat-protocols or training for this, and it's not like I can ask for training on it or whatever because I- what I said about B and what, or I guess who, he wants me to be and what I'm not, that's still totally a thing." 

Ok, well, that was a lot to take in, Kon decided to start at the end and work his way backwards, "What about Nightwing?" 

Robin ducked his head at that, "That's how I know I'm doing it wrong." 

Kon rocked back in surprise, "Did Nightwing tell you that?" 

"No, no. He'd never, he's too nice to say it." Robin shook his head before sighing, "Look, it's like this, Nightwing is a really affectionate guy, right? He likes hugs and cuddling and all that physical affection stuff, like he needs it on the regular the way people need food and water, right? He hugs me and ruffles my hair and stuff when he sees me, but I can always tell I'm doing it wrong. I just- I don't know what to do with it and so I overthink it because I don't want to do it wrong and ruin it, but then I do it wrong anyway. Now Nightwing knows that I'm bad at it, so he limits how much he hugs me and stuff. Sometimes I can literally see him holding back when he wants a hug because he knows I'm so bad at it and most of the time B's being an asshole so Nightwing doesn't want to hug him either. So then he doesn't get the hugs he needs and it's literally my fault because I'm so bad at it. Just like how I'm ruining this right now because I don't know how to do fucking physical affection properly, and-"

"Ok, hey," he cut off Rob's rant at that point, there was no reason for him to continue on that track when Kon now understood what had Robin so wound up, "Dude, you're catastrophizing. Take a breath." 

"How would you know if I'm catastrophizing?" Robin shot back, pulling his shoulders up almost to his ears. 

"Uh, because I'm hugging you right now, Rob." Kon pointed out, squeezing him a bit tighter for emphasis, "Your hugging thus far has been literally fine, the current issue is that your brain is running hard enough to power a fleet of windmills." 

Robin huffed indignantly at that, "I'm not even doing anything right now, I'm just laying here." He pointed out, "It's unequal division of labor on the cuddling front."

Kon sputtered at that, "I'm pretty sure there's not supposed to be 'division of labor' in cuddling." 

"How would you even know?" Robin huffed, and if he didn't have one arm thrown around Kon's waist he was pretty sure the other boy would be crossing them on his chest. 

Kon didn't actually know, so the only answer he could honestly give was. "I don't. Like I said, CADMUS definitely left some gaps. You didn't get Bat-training on this, and I didn't get taught how to do this stuff either, so realistically I don't know if either of us is doing it right. What I do know is that, first of all, I'm pretty sure all that matters is that we're comfortable in each other's space and it doesn't matter exactly how we physically express it so long as we are physically expressing it. Second of all, the fact that I don't know actually works out for you, because it doesn't actually matter if you're doing it right or wrong because I won't even know the difference and I don't care if you're doing it right or wrong, I just care that you're comfortable doing it. Third of all, I actually happen to think you're good at it, ok? My pollen incident proved that to me at least, so you can stop worrying about your skill level or division of labor or whatever else your big brain is making you catastrophize about." 

It was quiet for a few moments, Kon praying that somehow his little speech had actually worked, and eventually he was rewarded with a quiet, "Ok." 

"Ok?" He asked, trying not to let excitement creep into his voice. 

"Yeah, I- that makes sense." Robin nodded, "I can work with neither of us knowing what we're doing." 

"Great!" Kon grinned, "Now relax so we can sleep." 

Robin huffed out a small breath of laughter, but let Kon pull him in a bit tighter, wriggling around to get into a comfortable position. He felt Robin's arm wrap a bit tighter around his waist, and in turn Kon let his hand that was wrapped around the other boy's waist slide up just a bit until it was settled on Robin's lower ribs, cupping them the way he had during the pollen incident. It sent a weird sort of zing when he found that his hand still fit there perfectly. 

It took a minute for Robin to physically relax, and then another couple minutes for him to mentally relax too. Kon wasn't really sure how he knew when it happened since there was no physical change in Robin, but he could still tell when it did. It felt a little like a victory, like he'd put the work in and earned something priceless for it. That made sense though, Robin's trust was incredibly hard-won, and although he'd earned the other boy's trust in the field a while ago, and even enough personal trust to get to see the face behind the mask, this felt like another kind of trust altogether. 

............................................

"You're a miracle worker Cissie." Cassie told her as she flopped down on the towel they had spread out by the pool next to the other girl. "I don't understand how, but you got them actually acting convincingly like a couple instead of the worst game of gay chicken I've ever seen." 

Cissie laughed, that sharp amused look in her eyes that Cassie always loved seeing. It usually preceded her something funny that Cassie had to avoid laughing at, but she still loved being the person Cissie made those comments to anyway. 

"Yeah well, I don't think that I expected them to be as bad at it as they were since Robin at least seemed willing to do the plan from the get go. Turns out all his IQ points means that he has, like, negative EQ or something." Cissie shot back, "My little crush on him had already died, but I think watching him and Kon stumble around yesterday officially buried it." 

Cassie laughed, "Good," she couldn't help but say, "He didn't deserve you anyway. No stupid boy does." 

"True," Cissie nodded, "but I'd still like to fall in love someday. Hey can you rub some sunscreen on my back please?" 

Cassie sat up, sticking a palm out for her best friend to place the tube of lotion in. They watched the pool where the boys plus secret were playing Marco Polo. They watched as Kon swam over to the corner where Robin was hiding, wrapping an arm around the other boy before his head had even come up for air. Robin whispered something to him once he had taken a silent breath, and then they both exchanged a grin. 

While technically that single interaction could've passed as very close friends, the way they'd been acting all day could not. She didn't know exactly what had happened between what she'd seen of their appalling performance at movie night last night and when they'd come down to breakfast this morning hand in hand, other than Cissie having talked to them, but whatever had gone on had worked. 

"Hey, Cass?" Cissie said, breaking their comfortable silence. Cassie hummed to indicate she was listening, "Last night, when I got it to click for them how they needed to act. They said they were gonna start acting how you and me act and that that would make them pass as a couple. Should we be, like, reading into that?"

Cassie snorted, "They're idiots." She pointed out, "And boys. They think affection is a sign of weakness, or whatever. So, nah, I think we're fine." 

Cissie hummed, and Cassie finished with rubbing the sunscreen into her back, "That's true." She agreed, "You would not believe what Kon said he thought a romantic relationship was supposed to be, by the way." 

Cassie groaned at that, she knew her crush on him was bad, and also unrequited, maybe this would finally kill it. "What did he say?" 

Cissie opened her mouth to answer when suddenly they were being splashed. 

"Hey!" Kon yelled from the pool, "Stop making fun of me and come play!" 

He splashed them again for emphasis, and all Cassie had to do was share a glance with Cissie for them to both be leaping into the water and tackling Kon to the bottom of the pool until he eventually tapped out.

...............................................

"Babe, it sucks that we're dating right now, cause that girl over by the counter is a total 10." Kon whispered into Robin's ear. 

They were curled up together enjoying their coffees in the pillowed window seat of this cafe that apparently all the other couples had frequented. It was actually a pretty cozy set up, and he found he didn't mind it at all, despite not even particularly liking coffee to begin with and the stuff they were seeking being crazy overpriced. It felt really weird having Robin leaning against his side and having his arm wrapped around the other boy while they were in public like this. Even weirder than it'd felt doing it in front of his fellow YJ members and way weirder than it had been when it was just him and Rob in their own bedrooms. 

"Hmmm," Robin hummed, looking amused as he whispered into his coffee cup so only Kon and his super hearing could hear him, "You wouldn't stand a chance even if we weren't dating right now." 

Kon spluttered in indignation at that, "What? Why not?" He asked quietly, then batted his eyelashes at Robin to try and sell the 'in love' thing. 

Robin just grinned up at him sweetly, "Cause she's obviously a lesbian, babe." 

Kon glanced over at the girl again, but it wasn't like she had the word 'Lesbian' painted on her forehead or anything. 

"How do you know?" He asked. 

Robin looked amused at that, like he always did when Kon had missed something glaringly obvious. Or at least something that he thought was glaringly obvious. Kon maintained that the Bat training had messed up his standard for what the word 'obvious' meant. 

"Well, putting aside that this establishment caters specifically towards a homosexual clientele base, which is why we and all the other couples have been here," Robin started, and ok yeah, maybe Kon could've considered that, "She's also spent the last thirty minutes flirting with the girl behind the counter." 

Had she really? Huh, ok, maybe it was actually glaringly obvious this time, now that he paid attention to something other than how hot she was. Well, that did at least make him feel batter about the fact that he couldn't try hitting on her right now anyway. 

Robin snickered, and he realized that he'd been staring at the girl. "Leave me be dude, I was just trying to verify your observation." 

Robin snorted, "Yeah, uh huh, because you're in the habit of needing to verify my observations." He quipped back. 

.................................................

They held hands as they walked through the supermarket, fingers laced together and shoulders brushing every few steps. It was a nice, sunny day, and there was a nice breeze blowing in from the bay. The holding hands still felt weird in public, but he was pretty sure at this point that that was only half cause of the gay thing and that the other half was just cause he felt too inexperienced with physical affection to be flaunting it out in the open like this. He suddenly understood what Robin had been talking about the other night. 

He didn't let it affect his performance though, and neither did Robin despite his heartbeat giving him away to Kon. He imagined the others were probably impressed with their performance from wherever they were observing them from. They'd said they'd be 'around' and he swore he'd seen Cassie and Cissie also walking around half an hour ago with their arms linked, but he hadn't seen any sign of any of the others yet. 

He and Robin drifted over towards a tent that had paintings on display. They were beautiful, sort of abstract renditions of the world around them, and Kon wasn't the kind of guy who was into creative stuff or even knew what to make of it, but these paintings made his chest feel tight with something anyway. 

He kind of liked looking at them actually, and he stopped in front of some of the busier paintings to try and figure out what exactly they were of. There was just so much going on in them, so many tiny details that he had to use a bit of his super senses to even pick out that he felt like he could just visually take them apart for hours. It was fascinating. 

"Hey, I'm gonna go look at some of the paintings over there, babe." Robin said, breaking his focus a little when he felt warm lips press against his cheek in a quick kiss. 

Kon couldn't help the blush that spread across his cheeks as he watched the dyed blond head move away from him towards another row of artwork in a completely different style. When Kon turned back to his own art pieces he caught the guy sitting behind the table at the back of the tent laughing. 

"The hell you laughing at?” He demanded, glaring at the audacity of this guy. “You got some sorta problem?” 

Kon didn’t really care that this was just an act, he wasn’t letting this guy be homophobic to Rob either way. Or himself. Or letting it slide for the sake of everyone out there who was for real gay. 

“No, nothing like that, I’m sorry, you two are just sweet in that puppy love sort of way I haven’t seen in a while.” The guy chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender. 

“I wouldn’t exactly call it puppy love, we’ve been together for two years.” Kon replied, letting his hackles lower, and, well, Cassie had been pretty clear about them sharing their little backstory with anyone they could. 

The guy arched an eyebrow at him, “And you still blush like that when he kisses your cheek?” 

Kon let himself look down at his feet in faux embarrassment, though the blush returning to his cheeks was real at the reminder of Robin having kissed his cheek. 

“We, uh, we’re comin’ from the sorta place where we could only exist behind closed doors.” Kon shrugged, “Doing that stuff out in the open is still new.” 

“Ah,” the older man nodded, a genuinely understanding look passing over his face, “So what, you two graduated high school and then booked it out here?” 

Kon shook his head, “Never got that far, we uh, we got outed and when news reached our folks they kicked us out. We figured we were better off making a run for it to some dream on the West Coast than sticking around there and getting put in the system in a town where everyone already knew about us and had made it clear they didn’t approve.” He shared with the man, “Uh, maybe don’t go tellin’ people about that though. We don’t really wanna end up in the system here either.” 

The man nodded in understanding, “You two got a place to stay?” 

He nodded, “Yeah, we’re good for the next couple weeks till we can figure out something more permanent. He’s real smart and I know how to work with my hands.” Kon assured the man, “Between the two of us we’ll be just fine, no matter what life throws at us.” 

It was weird how true all of that was. He and Robin weren’t two kids on the run, but if they had been, Kon was confident they would’ve been able to make it work between the two of them. 

The man smiled at him, something soft and fond in his eyes, “God, to be a teenager again, young and in love.” He sighed wistfully, “Unfortunately, reality tends to come crashing down at some point eventually. So here,” he pulled out a pen and started writing on a spare piece of paper, “This is a list of the homelesss shelters in the area that’ll take you as you are. No rules about not being gay, no one should be attempting to traffic you at these locations, and they won’t snitch to CPS about you two being minors. If you two ever need it, make sure you go to those ones and not any others.” 

“I- thank you.” Kon said, blinking in surprise as he took the paper. 

“No worries kid, I hope it works out for you two, really.” He smiled at Kon, and at Robin now, who was slipping his hand back into Kon’s, “Stay safe out there, and feel free to drop by my art studio if you need a day’s work that pays cash. It’s a shithole so I usually have some maintenance task that I’m getting a bit too old for but don’t want to hire an actual professional that’ll overcharge me to do. The address is on the other side of that paper, ask for Randy if I’m not the one behind the counter.” 

Kon nodded enthusiastically, “Thank you so much, really, we’ll keep that in mind.” He said as they started heading back out of the tent. 

“What did I miss?” Robin asked, once they’d stepped outside the tent. 

Kon shrugged, “I told that guy our story and he offered help. Gave me the addresses of the homeless shelters in the area it’d be safe for us to go to and the address to his studio and offered under the table work if we need some cash.” 

“Oh,” Robin said, exchanging a wide eyed glance with Kon, “That was really nice of him.” 

Kon nodded, because it really had been. Far kinder than that man had needed to be, especially considering they were complete strangers. Complete strangers who’d been taking up space in his tent when they weren’t even going to buy anything to boot. 

“Yeah, it was.” He agreed softly, folding the paper with careful hands and putting it in his pocket that had a zipper closing it so it wouldn’t be lost. 

He wasn’t entirely sure why he felt the need to keep it. It’s not like he’d ever need it, or like it was even meant for him in the first place. No, this piece of paper was meant for two kids who’d been abandoned by their families and community, who had, in a desperate attempt for a better life, gotten themselves halfway across the country, and had started anew. This was for two kids who knew that they might not have someplace to live in a couple weeks time once their pitiful savings ran out and who needed this kind of helping hand. So Kon, who wasn’t that kid, wasn’t really sure why he kept the note, but he did. 

…………………………………….

They spent the next two nights in the cheapest motel room money could get them in the area while they spent their days checking out all the places the other couples had in common. Weirdly enough, or maybe not that weirdly, sharing the shitty motel bed and cuddling with Robin to keep up appearances just in case the kidnapper broke in in the middle of the night was way easier than all the public affection. 

That might say something about him as a person, but he was determined to ignore it for the foreseeable future. 

It was on the third night, when they were walking back from their date at the cinema when the kidnapper finally took the bait. They’d been strolling past alleyways that looked a bit sketchier than Metropolis’ but not nearly as sketchy as Gotham’s when there was a sudden force pushing them into one of those alleyways. 

He pulled Rob tighter against him, trying to play the role of the defenseless, confused, and scared couple as all the sudden the air around them became thick with some sort of gas. 

If they’d been their superhero/vigilante selves then this would’ve been an easy trap to escape, but as it stood they had to act like they were totally useless civilians. 

“Knockout gas.” Robin gritted out under his breath so only Kon had a chance of hearing him, “Play along.” 

Then Robin went down, and Kon barely had enough time to catch him before he remembered that they were both supposed to be getting knocked out. He let Robin’s weight drag him to the ground. It was really freaky, knowing Robin was actually unconscious and it was just Kon left now, even as he let himself slump to the ground over Rob’s body. 

The position was a bit weird but it was the only protection he could offer his friend without blowing their cover, and knowing that Robin was actually out cold made Kon feel very protective. Protective enough that when rough hands dragged him off Robin and threw him into the back of the vehicle he’d heard skid up to the mouth of the alley, he almost blew his cover when Robin wasn’t also carried by those same hands. Not that he could’ve been, he tried to remind himself. Kon was heavy and big and a normal human wouldn’t have been able to carry or drag them both at the same time, and Kon was pretty sure that these guys were normal humans. At least, there was nothing about the three heartbeats that he could hear to indicate they weren’t. 

He relaxed a bit more when he felt Robin’s body be tossed next to his. Not completely though, they were still being kidnapped after all. Seconds stretched into minutes as the vehicle, which he thought was one of those kidnapper vans by the sound of it, drove them wherever they were going as he pretended to sleep. He fought the urge to wrap an arm around the body next to him, whether it was out of a desire to protect his unconscious friend or from some instinct he’d formed over the last four nights of sleeping together Kon didn’t know. 

After what felt like hours, but was more likely 20-30 minutes, the van rolled to a stop. A few moments later Kon heard the van’s doors being ripped open and then there were hands on him again, dragging him out and away from Robin. He fought not to blow their cover again, and it was only the fact that he could hear Robin being carried by one of the other guy’s right behind him that stopped him. 

They were thrown into some sort of room that had a gross mattress in the corner and a bucket in the other. The guys carrying them didn’t even have the decency to toss them on the mattress either, instead they were just dumped on the cold concrete, though judging by the smells that were wafting off the mattress maybe that was for the best. 

Minutes ticked by and eventually Robin’s heart rate spiked, though he gave no other indication of coming back to consciousness. Kon knew this trick, was well familiar with the Bat-protocol on this one, so he knew that Robin was fully awake and just pretending otherwise. Sure enough, two more minutes went by and then Robin let out a small groan and there was a shuffling noise. 

Kon let himself open his eyes slowly, “babe?” He slurred out, letting his head flop over so Robin was within his sightline, “wha-? ‘R you k?” 

Robin’s head flopped to the side too so he was looking right at Kon, “‘m no’ feelin’ t good.” He slurred in response, and with seemingly great effort, rolled himself onto his side so he could reach a trembling arm out towards Kon, “Wha- ‘penned?” 

Kon forced himself into a sitting position where he was propped up against the wall with what he hoped seemed like great effort before reaching out to grab Rob’s outstretched arm and pull him into his lap, “Dunno.” Kon answered, “I- I think we got kidnapped.” 

He let himself drop the slurring but still made himself sound tired and out of it. Judging by the way he could see this stuff wearing off for Robin, he was pretty sure he was timing getting his faculties back believably. 

Robin pulled himself up so he was more sitting up in the circle of Kon’s arms than lying in his lap, “This isn’t good, is it?” He asked, a tremor clear in his voice. 

“No, but we’ll find a way out, somehow.” Kon assured, making sure his tone was the right mix of assuring and terrified. 

Even though he knew they’d be fine it was important to maintain their covers till the others got here. Otherwise these guys might try to abandon ship and go set up somewhere else before they could catch them. 

There wasn’t really much more to say after that, so they just sat there together and waited, letting the rest of the knockout gas’ effects wear off of Robin. Kon could literally feel him regaining his strength the more time that ticked by as the muscles he was holding against him coiled tightly and tensed then forcibly relaxed as Robin regained his control over them. The shaking wore off too, but by the time it did Robin was making himself shake anyway to really sell the terrified act. 

Their kidnappers didn’t have them wait long. The door swung open soon enough and there was a masked man standing there. He tossed two water bottles that were full of some purple liquid in. 

“Drink, both of you.” The masked man ordered, “And you will be allowed to spend your last twenty four hours alive unbothered and together.” 

They both flinched at that. So drinking the water bottles was definitely not an option since it sounded like there was a good chance that was just straight up poison. Robin seemed to be thinking the same thing. 

“We aren’t going to drink what is clearly poison just cause you tell us to.” He spat at the man, “Let us go!” 

“It’s not poison.” The masked man stated calmly, “That will do nothing more than flush your system of impurities.” 

“Yeah right,” Kon scoffed, “Like we’re just supposed to take your word for it? Just let us go, man, we won’t tell anyone what happened!” 

“You’ve made your choice.” The masked man said ominously, and then he stepped into their room and two other masked men appeared and followed him in, “Grab the bigger one first, he’ll put up more of a fight, leave the other one for tomorrow.” 

Well, if they wanted a fight out of him then he was happy to give them one, or at least as much of one as a human his size would be able to put up. He threw punches wildly as two of the men approached, moving to shove Robin behind him. Two of his punches hit their targets before both his arms had been grabbed and pinned. 

“Let us go!” He yelled, thrashing wildly against the men’s hold on him. 

Suddenly there was a sharp cry and a loud crack from the third man, who’d been trying to keep Robin back to stop him from trying to help Kon. Judging by the way the man crumbled, Robin had managed to get a good kick in at the man’s knee. It was the kind of kick that someone inexperienced in fighting could pull off while still doing maximum damage. 

“Never mind, take the smaller one!” The man cried as he pulled himself to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall, “He’s more of a problem, and I intend to make him suffer.” 

Kon didn’t like the sound of that, but Robin didn’t do more than thrash a little as one of the men grabbed him, and they were out of the room before Kon could have, as a human, reasonably stopped them. It was then that he realized Robin had sacrificed himself intentionally. 

That motherfucker. When Kon got a hold of him after this he was gonna kill him. 

“Hey! You better open this goddamn door right now!” Hey yelled, pounding his fists against it, “Get your asses back here!” 

There was no response, not that he expected there to be. He knew he was supposed to wait for the others to make their move, but he couldn’t just let these guys do whatever they were going to do to Robin, no freaking way! Sure, he was limited to what he could reasonably accomplish as a normal human, but humans could accomplish a lot. After all, Rob didn’t have any super powers, and he still kicked ass all the time. 

Kon was built, visibly built, so strength was what people assumed his skillset was primarily made up of. It was the same reason the masked men had gone for him first, assuming he’d be the most trouble, and it was the same reason that he was going to be able to get out of this room. 

The door was slightly reinforced, but it was still just a door, and that had been their mistake. He took a couple steps back then ran at it, jumping and curling his body at the last second making himself a projectile aimed at the weakest point of the barrier. He felt something give a bit, but ultimately he bounced off the door. He sucked in a gasping breath before doing it again, and an again, and again, and finally on the fifth try, the door gave.

He stood, finding himself in a dimly lit hallway that appeared to be underground. 

“Hey!” He yelled, taking off down the hallway, not even attempting subtlety seeing as he wanted to be caught, “Where the hell did you take him! Baby, if you hear this make some sort of noise!”  

He could hear Robin’s heartbeat and he followed it, acting like he was just stumbling down random passageways. He kept yelling, making as much noise as possible. He made it about halfway to where Robin’s heartbeat was when two masked figures came charging at him. 

He let them take him down without too much of a struggle, one of them growling out a, “Fine, we don’t normally make you watch each other die, but if that’s how you want it then that can be arranged.” 

Despite the concerning words, Kon took the win. After all, he’d just wanted to be in the same room as Robin again. Whatever happened, it was happening to them together, that was his goal right now until the others decided to make their move, then his goal was kicking butt. 

They dragged him down hallway after hallway, though his focus was more on listening to what was going on where Robin was than where exactly they were going. 

“It’s unfortunate that we need a lot of you intact for our creations, but we don’t use much of the torso, funny that,” a nasally voice that radiated pure evil was saying, “And, well, my scalpels have been needing a sharpness test so I can know which ones are getting blunt.” 

Kon didn’t like the sound of that, he really didn’t like the sound of that. 

“I think we’ll go from left to right, does that sound alright with you?” The voice continued. 

“Let me go! Let us both go!” Robin’s voice cried out and there was the sound of skin rubbing against leather and metal as he presumable struggled. 

The nasally voice made a disappointed tsk noise, “you’ll want to stop wriggling around for this, otherwise I may cut something I don’t mean to.” 

He heard Robin inhale sharply, a fearful sound, but his heart rate remained steady, it was an act. That sort of made Kon feel better until he thought about why his friend was able to keep so calm while it sounded like he was being tortured. 

There was the noise of skin being sliced open, and it made him want to gag knowing it was Robin’s. His pulse jumped for a second before returning to its baseline, though he let out a sharp cry of pain. 

“Hmm, that one seems to be in good shape,” the nasally voice observed, and there was the clang of a metal object being dropped onto a metal tray, then the sound of another metal object against latex, “Now let’s try this one.”

It was a very good thing Kon didn’t have laser beam vision like Superman had, because he was pretty sure if he had then this place would already be burning whether he was actively trying to make that happen or not.

He listened to the process repeat itself four more times before the masked men finally dragged him through the door into what seemed to be a very rudimentary operating room. Robin was strapped down on a metal table with thick leather straps holding him down at the wrists, ankles, waist and one even around his neck. There were bloody lines stretching vertically under his right collarbone, and the same number of bloody scalpels on a tray with a row of clean scalpels lined up on another tray. Robin was also hooked up to an IV, and the bag held that same purple stuff that they’d tried to get them to drink. 

Kon felt his blood boil as he lunged forward only to be jerked back by the two men’s hold on him. Robin’s heartbeat spiked again upon seeing him, but it settled again after a few moments. 

“No! Leave him alone! Let him go!” Robin yelled, eyes blown wide in apparent fear.

“What did you do to him!” Kon yelled at the third masked man, who was sitting in a rolling chair with his knee wrapped, iced, and propped up by the table that held Robin. “I swear if you lay another finger on him! I’ll-”

“You’ll do nothing.” The nasally voice informed him bluntly, nodding towards the corner that the two men holding him dragged him over to and wrapped thick heavy chains around him as he struggled. 

He stopped struggling, head whipping back over to the man and Robin as he hear the nauseating sound of metal slicing through skin again. “Hmmm, scalpel number 7 could use a bit of a sharpen.” 

“I’ll fucking kill you!” Kon growled, lunging at the man, but was held back by the chains that the two masked men had finished securing in his momentary distraction. 

They weren’t strong enough to hold him if he used his powers, but that would mean blowing their covers. As much as this guy was pissing him the fuck off, and as worried as he was for Robin, his friend’s pulse was still steady and as long as that was the case, Kon couldn’t blow their covers.

That did not, however, mean that he couldn’t do everything else a normal human would in this situation.

“Stop it stop it!” He screamed as the man raised an eighth scalpel, “Don’t hurt him!” 

The man just smirked at him, “If your little boyfriend didn’t want to get hurt then he shouldn’t have broken my damn knee.” The man growled, or growled as much as his nasally tone would allow, “We don’t normally hurt the boys we take any more than we have to, and we certainly don’t make them watch each other suffer, that would be cruel. However, normally the boys we take don’t hurt us, and don’t break out of their cells, so since you two are so determined to be a special case, you’ll be treated as one.” 

The eighth scalpel sliced a short line in Robin’s skin. The lines had reached the center of his chest and were soon to start arcing under his other collarbone. Like some fucked up accessory. 

“Stop it! Hurt me instead!” Kon tried, desperation too real, which Robin seemed to sense. 

“I’m alright, I swear I’m alright sweetheart.” The words poured out of Robin’s mouth, “I’ll b ok, I promise, I’m alright.” 

Robin’s pulse was steady, a bit faster now, but still steady. There was something both determined and pleading in his eyes when he managed to roll his head enough to make eye contact with Kon despite the leather strap tight on his throat. He knew that Robin was telling him to settle down and not blow their covers, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch the man raise the ninth scalpel. 

In between one blink and the next the scalpel disappeared. All the scalpels disappeared actually, and the tube between the IV bag and the needle taped to Rob’s arm had been torn in half so the purple liquid was now dripping onto the concrete. In another blink the lights started flickering on and off rapidly. 

“What the hell is that?” One of the masked men still standing near Kon growled, staring up at the lights. 

“It’s me dummy.” Piped up a voice, and they all turned to the doorway to see Impulse flicking the light switch on and off. 

“And me.” Another voice said, Wonder Girl appearing in the doorway with fists clenched and a glare that only intensified when she took in the scene before them. 

“Don’t forget me.” One last voice echoed, this time from the vents, and in the next blink the room was full of so much smoke you couldn’t see a foot in front of you. 

Kon ripped the chains straight out of the wall, not needing any more of an excuse. He used the fact that they were still cuffed to his wrists to his advantage and whipped one out to his left towards the heart beat of one of the masked men. He heard it connect and the man go down like a sack of bricks, heartbeat steadying as he was knocked clean out. 

He didn’t wait around any longer, instead booking it through the smoke towards the table where he could still hear Rob’s heartbeat. The smoke cleared, creating a small bubble in the chaos around Robin’s table. He was struggling against the leather straps, not having made much progress in the few seconds it took Kon to reach him. 

Kon ripped off the one around his throat first. Not the most practical for returning Robin’s range of motion to him, but it was the leather strap that Kon found most offensive. Next he tore off the wrist straps, and that was all Robin needed to get the one off his waist while Kon ripped off the ones at his ankles. 

Rob was swinging his legs off the table and grabbing the metal tray that used to hold the clean scalpels and storming off into the smoke before Kon could even ask if he was alright. He followed close behind, and was able to witness Robin swing and clock the nasal voiced man right in the head. He went down like a sack of potatoes and Rob let a self-satisfied smirk play on his features for a moment before he stomped down on the guy’s uninjured knee. Kon winced, though he didn’t hold it against his friend, it seemed fair enough that he should be allowed to get his licks in after being tortured by the guy. 

The smoke cleared as quickly as it appeared, the two other guys tied up and knocked out in one corner. Wonder Girl, Impulse, and Secret all spread out and blinking at him and Robin in surprise. 

“Jeez Rob, both knees?” Wonder Girl commented, though there was no actual reproach in her voice at the violence. 

Robin just shrugged, turning and heading towards the drawers over by the table he’d been strapped to, with a, “He upset Kon.” Thrown over his shoulder to explain his reasoning. 

Kon spluttered at that, “Uh, yeah, because he was literally torturing you!” He pointed out as Robin pulled gauze and tape out of the drawers and started taping the gauze over his chest. 

Robin just arched an eyebrow at him, “That barely qualified as torture, I don’t even need stitches.” 

“You’re getting stitches as soon as we get back to base.” Wonder Girl asserted immediately. 

Robin just rolled his eyes, having finished with his patch job and now digging through some of the cupboards. “I didn’t say I wasn’t, I’m not dumb. I just meant that it was fine, I’m not seriously injured.” 

Kon watched as Robin pulled bleach and a rag out of one of the cupboards with a small triumphant noises and headed over toward the table. 

“What’cha doin?” Impulse asked, suddenly standing right next to Rob. 

“Can’t leave any evidence I was here, especially DNA, so I gotta clean up my blood.” Robin told him, “What did you do with the scalpels?” 

Impulse held up both fists, stuffed with scalpels. “Got em right here.” 

Robin nodded, “Good, leave the clean ones but take the ones that have my blood on them with you when we head back to base.” 

They all watched in sick fascination as Robin methodically went about scrubbing the table and the scalpel trays with bleach. 

“This is really fucked up, right?” He whispered to Wonder Girl, who had come to stand next to him and watch the scene. 

She nodded, “Oh yeah. Goddamn Bat-protocols.” 

“Think he’d let us help?” Kon asked as they watched Robin cut off the leather strap that’d held his throat in place and must’ve had blood drip onto it and cram it into one of his pockets. “I mean he is injured and all.” 

“I’m fine, and no.” Robin informed them bluntly, “You haven’t been trained in how to do this properly, but I can teach you later so you can help next time if you want.” 

Kon lamented the fact that there was likely to be a next time, “That’s as close to an admittance of wanting or needing assistance as we’re going to get, huh?” Wonder Girl said. 

Robin scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous, we are a team, we all rely on each other all the time.” 

Which was unfortunately a great point that Kon didn’t know how to argue with even though he knew that Robin was terrible about letting others help him. 

“Police are seven minutes out.” Secret informed them as she came back in through one of the vents. 

Kon hadn’t even noticed she’d left, but whatever, he supposed that was what happened when she had no heartbeat and could move as silently as air. 

“Thanks Secret, give me just a moment.” He said, scrubbing one last spot particularly hard, “Ok. I’m done.” He announced, cramming the rag into another one of his pockets, Lets go before I start bleeding through the gauze enough to leave behind more DNA.” 

Kon didn’t argue, instead he just took the opportunity to scoop Robin up and fly him as fast as he safely could back to where the others had parked the Supercycle on a nearby rooftop. The others were right behind him with their own flying/speedy abilities, and Kon had Robin in the back of the Supercycle with him before the other boy could even protest having been scooped up. 

Kon gave him a sheepish grin at the glare the other boy leveled him with, but Robin seemed inclined to let it go this time, either out of pain or because he knew how upset Kon had been earlier. 

“Are you alright?” Rob asked him quietly as the others took their seats with Cassie driving. 

Alright, so Robin cutting him slack was about him thinking Kon was upset, good to know. 

“Yeah dude, I’m totally fine.” Kon assured him, “I just really don’t like watching you get hurt.” 

Robin’s brows furrowed at that, “You know that I’m ok, right? Like, minimal damage, I’m just gonna get a couple stitches and be back to normal in, like, a week.” 

Kon sighed, not really sure how to get Robin to understand that that wasn’t really the point. He looked over to their other friends, and saw Secret and Bart shooting them worried looks. Cassie had her eyes on the sky ahead of them, but he could tell by the tightness to her shoulders that she was worried to. 

“Look, pretend you were me, and you had to watch someone do that to Bart, or Cassie, or, well, I don’t think they could do it to Secret but you get my point. Wouldn’t you be upset and worried regardless of how much damage it actually accomplished?” 

Robin blinked at him in wide eyed surprise for a moment before saying, “I guess you’ve got a point.” 

Kon grinned in relief, “Glad we can agree. So stop acting like we shouldn’t care.” 

Robin grimaced but nodded, “Alright fine. Just know that I’ll be fine as soon as we get back to base and I can stitch myself up.” 

Kon groaned, resisting the urge to bang his head against something dramatically, “You are not going to give yourself stitches!” 

“Why the hell not?” Rob asked, frustration leaking into his voice, “I’m good at them!” 

“That is so not the point.” Cassie called over her shoulder. 

“Yeah, Rob, we can stitch you up just fine.” Bart said, “I can even do them real fast so it’ll be over quick.” 

“No, you guys all never even need stitches so you never do them.” Robin argued, “So your stitches are always sloppy, and I’m trying for minimal scarring, which, given the surgically clean slicing that happened, I actually have a chance at. So no way am I letting any of you near me with a needle when I can do better.” 

There was silence across the Supercycle for a moment at that when Kon suddenly got an idea, “Wonder Girl, we need to make a pit stop at the Elias school,” he called to their driver who threw a grin over her shoulder and swerved them left. 

“Oh for fuck’e sake,” Robin started to argue. 

“Hey, you’re the one who said that if you weren’t able to give stitches then Cissie should be the one to do them since she’s just as good as you.” Kon pointed out with a triumphant grin, “You wrote it into our official contingencies and everything. Not our fault we’re following your instructions, oh fearless leader.” 

“For when I’m not available!” Robin shot back, “Which I am! There’s literally no need to drag Cissie into this.” 

“There’s actually two reasons,” Kon argued back, “The first is that you made Cassie temporary team leader while we were undercover since it was her plan, and she says you’re not doing your own stitches.” He said, grin not fading one bit, “Plus, you wouldn’t dare deprive Cassie the chance to see her best friend would you? Or the rest of us for that matter!” 

Robin just groaned, “You all are the worst.” He said, seeming to know that none of them would be backing down now that they had a viable reason to pull Cissie into their adventure. 

“Oh well, at least we’re all the worst together.” Kon shrugged, grin bright as he and Bart exchanged a fist bump. 

“Whatever,” Rob rolled his eyes at their antics before letting out a big yawn. “I’m sleeping off the rest of the knockout gas and blood loss. Wake me up when it’s time for stitches.” 

And at that announcement, he laid himself out across the seat and plopped his head right in Kon’s lap when he realized there wasn’t quite enough space for him to lay out otherwise. He must’ve been really tired if he was going and placing himself right in Kon’s lap like that in front of the others, which he supposed made sense given the reasoning Robin had just stated. Not that Kon was complaining, he definitely wasn’t. 

Honestly, it was soothing to have Robin right there physically where Kon could fill his senses with input from Robin, proving that his friend was alright if a bit cut up.

And if Kon wrapped an arm around Robin’s torso, low enough that he wasn’t so much as brushing the area covered in gauze, and wrapped his hand around the spot on Robin’s lower ribs he was starting to think of as his when they hit a spot of turbulence on the way to get Cissie, then no one mentioned it. 

Chapter Text

It started quite suddenly for Tim. On a seemingly random Thursday evening about three weeks after the fake relationship mission.

He’d gone to bed after their weekly game night along with everyone else. Except when he got to his room and put his pajamas on and was about to crawl into bed and under his pile of weighted blankets, he noticed a note on his pillow. 

Conference room 346. After everyone goes to bed. It read, very direct while also remaining ominous, with no sign off. If Kon’s chicken scratch handwriting wasn’t distinctive enough for Tim to recognize on sight then he’d be a bit concerned about a potential intruder. 

Instead he was just concerned and curious about how odd this sort of behaviour was from Kon. If for no other reason than that Kon hated the conference room, plus the one that the note said to meet in wasn’t even the one they normally used. 

Either way, Tim was curious, and he knew the others had headed for bed at the same time he had, so in theory it was the time the note said to meet at. 

He headed back out of his room, only bothering to slide on a warm fuzzy pair of socks but not to change back out of his pajamas. It would’ve been a waste of time anyway seeing as Kon had already seen him several times in pajamas in the last month and a half alone. 

When he got to conference room 346, he noted that the lights were off, though he was unsurprised to find Kon sitting at the head of the conference table when he flicked on the light anyway. 

Tim rolled his eyes, “What’s up with the dramatics?” He asked, leaning casually against the doorframe and arching an eyebrow at the other boy, “And are you wearing a suit? Where the hell did you even get that?” 

Kon ignored the questions, instead nodding at the chair across from him at the table, “Please, close the door behind you and take a seat. I will be proposing to you this evening.” 

“Somehow I don’t think you’re using that word the way you’re meaning to.” Tim huffed, though he did as Kon asked and closed the door before sitting in the chair indicated. “What exactly are you trying to propose to me?” 

“I have, what I believe could be a mutually beneficial agreement for the both of us, but it has to be kept just between the two of us.” Kon said, punctuating the statement by drawing the blinds  all around them with his TTK, before pulling a giant pad of paper out from under the table and propping it up on a stand, already flipped to a paper that had ‘The Proposal’ written in bold letters. 

Tim couldn’t help the way his eyebrows raised in surprise, “You made a presentation?” 

He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of what was happening right now, but he knew that Kon hadn’t ever made a presentation before for any of his crackpot schemes. 

Kon shrugged, a faint pink dusting his cheeks, “Having an organized presentation with evidence and proposals and all that jazz is important to you.” Kon explained, “I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t put effort in and dismiss it before I ever even got to explain.” 

Tim, even after wracking his brain, had absolutely no idea what the hell Kon was about to suggest, but he could tell that whatever it was meant a lot to his friend. He couldn’t exactly guarantee they’d be implementing whatever it was, because regardless of how much Kon cared about this idea he’d still had a lot of bad ideas before and there was no guarantee that this was going to be any better. Still though, he could promise one thing. 

“Alright. I can’t promise I’ll agree to whatever this is, but I promise I’ll hear you out properly.” Tim told his friend, who seemed to brighten at that, then added, “Although I do want to know where you found the giant notebook. I could use that for some of my own presentations.” 

“Oh, it was in Bart’s room.” Kon grinned a bit conspiratorially, “He’s been using it for his art projects.” 

Tim was a bit taken aback at that, he hadn’t actually realized Bart did anything artistic, “Really?” 

Kon nodded before flipping some of the pages back until he’d settled on a scene of him, Kon, Bart, Cassie, and Cissie all battling an army of Robots. It was a shockingly good drawing. About as good as one could probably manage when working with what appeared to be solely a box of crayons. 

“That’s surprisingly good.” Tim pointed out, “Is that what he draws? Us fighting stuff?” 

“Sometimes,” Kon says, grin spreading on his face, “Other times it’s more like this.” He flipped to the next page. 

It was an equally skilled drawing, except this time instead of the five of them fighting robots or whatever else, it was the five of them skipping through a meadow and holding hands towards a rainbow. 

“Yeah, that tracks.” Tim couldn’t help the fond huff of amusement he let out when seeing the picture. 

He’d always appreciated how Bart was about showing his affection for them all. Always free about it in a way that none of them were, so unashamed in a way that Tim could never in a million years imagine being. Despite his many hang ups about physical affection and his lack of skills in that regard, it always felt nice to be the center of Bart’s world for just a second. 

“So, anyway, what’s the proposal?” Tim redirected after a few moments of them both just admiring the drawing. 

“Oh, right. Ok so before I do this you have to promise that, whether or not you agree to it, you never ever tell anyone that I even suggested it.” Kon stared at him intensely, not quite a glare but pretty demanding regardless, “I don’t know how to make an NDA or whatever but I still want you to promise me that even if you don’t want to do this then it still never leaves this room.” 

Tim was painfully curious at this point, and he already kept plenty of secrets from literally every person in his life, so, really, what was one more? Besides, Kon asked him to promise not to tell anyone, not that he couldn’t use the information against him. Rookie mistake, but Tim elected not to correct it just in case Kon was about to share his plan to nuke someone or something equally crazy that needed to be stopped. 

He didn’t really think Kon was about to propose anything like that, but, hey, contingencies are important. 

“I promise I will not tell anyone else about what happens in this room tonight.” Tim swears, raising his hand like he’s making a pledge, “Regardless of whether or not I choose to accept and/or enact your proposed plan.” 

“Ok great!” Kon grinned wide and bright before something nervous caught in it for a moment before he smoothed it out and then flipped to the second page of his presentation and announced, “I think we should have a friends with benefits arrangement.” 

Regardless of whether or not he’d previously agreed to hearing Kon’s proposal out, he could not have possibly stopped the knee jerk, “Absolutely not.” From leaving his mouth. 

“You promised!” Kon accused, pointing a finger at him, “You said you’d hear me out properly.” 

Tim sighed, knowing that he had promised that, but, well, “Look, I know that I did, but, regardless  of how much I hear you out I’m still not going to be gay. If the mission a couple weeks ago made you realize something about yourself or awakened something in you or whatever then-”

Kon cut him off mid assurance with a clipped, “It didn’t. I’m also still not gay. This isn’t the traditional friends with benefits arrangement, but I didn’t know what else to call it. That’s why you need to hear me out.” 

Tim paused, considering that, “No tongues in each others mouths?” He checked, just to be sure.

“No tongues in each others mouths.” Kon promised, pointedly flipping to the next page in his presentation where it just had the words ‘Romance’ and ‘Sex Stuff’ crossed out. 

Tim raised his hands in surrender and sat back in his chair, letting himself relax a bit now that he knew he wasn’t going to have to try and find a way to let Kon down easy without wrecking their friendship and team dynamic. It was a really good thing neither of them were into each other like that, Tim figured, the drama otherwise would likely tear apart the team. 

“So, you may be wondering what the ‘benefit’ is exactly. What I’m proposing is a friends with benefits style arrangement where instead of romance or sex stuff, the benefit is physical touch.” Kon said, then pointed a finger right at Tim when he opened his mouth, “Nuh uh, you said you’d hear me out!” He reminded. 

Tim clenched his jaw, fighting against the part of him that wanted to tell Kon off about how he didn’t need his pity or whatever misguided attempt at caring about him or whatever this was. Regardless of what he may have said during the pollen, Tim was perfectly functional as is. He didn’t need Kon with his super hugs sweeping in to save the day when his functionality was exactly as it should be. 

“Ok so listen, when CADMUS was, like, uploading all the common knowledge stuff to my brain, one of the things it taught me about was need, and how there were different kinds.” Kon started to explain, flipping to one page where there was a set of bubble charts, he pointed to one, “So over here, we’ve got the survival needs. These are the ones that people most commonly associate with the term ‘needs’ and these are the ones that are necessary for survival. So like, food, water, shelter, that sort of stuff, right?” 

Tim nodded along, remembering about having learned about the survival needs way back in elementary school, and then coming to intimately understand just how much life sucked when you were struggling to get your hands on those needs in even just the short term and imagining how much it must suck dealing with that in the long term. 

“Then, there’s the health needs.” Kon pointed to the other bubble diagram, “These are the needs everyone has to have met in order to be considered healthy, and for young people to be able to grow and develop properly. So, like access to preventative care and good healthcare beyond the emergency life saving stuff, social interaction and interpersonal support whether it be friends or family or whatever. You get the idea. Like, yes you can theoretically survive without these things, but your quality of life is decreased so significantly that it will actively hinder your growth and development. So they are also considered ‘needs’.” 

Tim had to admit, Kon must have really worked hard on this presentation and what he was going to say during it, if his points were being articulated this well. Half the time when Kon got an idea that he was pumped up about his excitement could make him come across a bit jumbled, but there was no hint of that here. 

“Now, one of the needs listed in this category of needs is actually physical affection. Typically in the case of children and teenagers the primary source of this affection is familial or platonic. It’s not typically until later in life that romantic takes over for a while before marriage and kids happen and then familial takes over again alongside romantic.” Kon explained, flipping a page to show a flow chart depicting what he’d just explained, “You and me, we’re still young enough to be in the stage where our primary source is familial and a bit platonic. The problem though, is that neither of us is getting this need met by the sources teenagers our age are typically supposed to.” 

“Says who?” Tim asked, starting to feel a bit like he’d been accused of something, though he wasn’t sure what, “How do you even figure that we aren’t?” 

“I know for a fact I’m not.” Kon flipped to a new page and pointed to a drawing of a stick figure man and woman holding hands, “I have no parents or family to do it.” He pointed to the ‘S’ crest drawn on in red sharpie that’d also been crossed out, “Superman’s supposed to technically be my mentor or whatever he is, and I’m sure as shit not getting any from him.” Then he pointed to where CADMUS/Lex Luther was written and added, “And we all know how much of a shit show that’s turned out to be, and half of them don’t even consider me human, so also not an option. There’s still the friends category, but truthfully, as much as I love Bart and his hummingbird style affection, it’s just not enough. Not for me.” 

Tim hadn’t ever actually thought of calling what Bart did hummingbird affection. It fit though, and Tim could already tell that it’d caught in his brain as an apt description that he’d be mentally using from now on. 

“And I’m pretty sure you aren’t getting enough either. I mean, Batman’s your mentor, and he’s not an option.” Kon flipped to the next page that was similar to the last, except this time instead of the ‘S’ there was a printed out bat that’d been taped on and then crossed out, followed by a stick figure in blue and black, “And from what you’ve said, I don’t think Nightwing is giving you enough to meet your needs threshold.” 

“That’s not his fault.” Tim immediately protested, “He doesn’t owe me anything at all.” 

“I know, I’m not saying anything bad about him, I’m just trying to go through your potential sources.” Kon tried to explain, pointing to the next little drawing of the man and woman stick figure holding hands, “And your parents are shitty, so they’re-”

“My parents are not shitty!” Tim shot to his feet immediately, “You don’t even know anything about them! How could you even say something like that when you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about?” 

“Woah, ok, clearly this is a sore subject.” Kon stared at him, wide eyed and taken aback. “I mean, I could be wrong, I just figured since you said they weren’t really around that-”

“You figured wrong.” Tim informed him bluntly, “The real world for adults is hard. My parents work and their work means that they need to travel. That way they can do things like make sure I have a roof over my head and food in the kitchen for whenever I’m hungry. To make sure that I can have a future and go to a good school and stuff. They love me. Just cause they have to be gone for work a lot doesn’t change that, or make them shitty parents.” 

“Ok.” Kon said immediately, nodding at him with wide eyes. 

Tim stopped gearing himself up to continue his rant defending his parents. A bit shocked at Kon’s easy agreement, “Ok?” He asked hesitantly. 

Kon just shrugged though, “I mean, yeah. Like I said before. I don’t have a family or parents. I don’t really have any idea what I’m talking about. If you say they’re good then they’re good. I’m sorry for making assumptions, it’s like they say, ass out of u and me and all that, except I’m the ass not you. So, yeah, sorry, they’re not shitty.” 

Tim sat back down, the wind having been sufficiently taken out of his sails in a moment. He’d been so prepared to have to really defend his parents, never in a million years was he expecting Kon to just agree with him immediately. Bruce and Dick never seemed to take his word for it that easily when they questioned the fact that Tim’s parents were out of town again-and if they were truthfully out of town still instead of again then that wasn’t really relevant anyway- they always seemed suspicious even when they let the subject drop. Hell, Tim even had to work harder to convince himself when he had a really bad day and just missed his parents. 

Either way, Dick and Bruce and even his own selfishness didn’t matter right now because Kon had believed him. 

After a stiff minute of silence Kon eventually cleared his throat and said, “Uh, are we good? Can I continue now?” 

Tim felt his mind kickstart back into reality and realized that Kon looked really nervous. Likely worried that he’d upset Tim in some serious way, which he hadn’t, not really. He understood how, especially with the pollen influence, the information that Kon had about his parents would not paint them in a very good light. It might’ve pissed Tim off if he’d tried to get insistent about his parents being shitty, but he hadn’t, so no harm no foul. 

“Yeah, you’re fine. Carry on.” Tim nodded, slipping back into his neutral persona that he usually adopted during any presentation so that he didn’t sway the presenter any particular way and could remain professional. 

“Ok, so, your not shitty parents are doing their best and trying to make sure all of your needs are being met. Except, because the world sucks that’s super hard and so I’m pretty sure they aren’t able to give you enough physical affection for you to be healthy in that regard. Which I am not saying is their fault or anything. Like with Nightwing, this isn’t meant as a reflection on them, it’s just an evaluation on whether or not your need is being met well enough, and I’m pretty sure yours isn’t. Am I wrong?” 

That was a trap if Tim had ever seen one, even if Kon was right and they both knew it. He stayed silent, hoping his neutral stare would unsettle Kon enough to just move past the unanswered question. It didn’t. 

“Continue with your presentation.” Tim finally said, knowing Kon would see that for the answer it was even if he still hoped he wouldn’t.

To his credit, Kon didn’t rub it in, and did in fact move on with the presentation, flipping to the next page which had Superboy’s ‘S’ crest and Robin’s insignia with a plus sign between them and a big green check mark under that, “So, since neither of us is getting our needs met, I’m proposing we enter and arrangement where we help each other meet that need. So, like, friends with benefits except the benefit is physical touch. Which can be done completely platonic/familially, the way that we’re supposed to be getting it except it’ll be just the two of us doing it. The way I see it, this is like all the reward with none of the consequence. We keep it behind closed doors, and it’s like you said with the pollen, it’s mutually assured destruction so neither of us can judge the other or go telling anyone else without screwing ourselves over in the process.” 

Tim could admittedly see the logic in that, how neither of them could hurt the other with it when it was a shared weakness. Which made sense seeing as it’d been his logic in the first place and Kon was just repeating it back to him, but that doesn’t mean there would be actual benefit to it just cause the risk of consequence was low. 

Kon flipped the page again and the next one was labeled ‘benefits’, like he’d read Tim’s mind or something, “Ok, so first benefit is the fact that after the fake dating thing, Cassie commented on how we had gotten way better at fighting together on missions, and I think it’s because we got more physically comfortable with each other, and I think if we did it even more then our fighting would get even better.” Tim hated to admit how much that argument alone was swaying him, “Second benefit, having another need met properly gives us both better odds of good growth and development and all that jazz, and we need all the help we can get in this business to be as healthy as we possibly can be.” Kon carried on, and Tim could really appreciate how this argument had been at least partially tailored to their superhero/vigilante lifestyles, “And third of all, this fucking sucks.” 

Tim almost laughed at the near petulant tone Kon adopted for his last point, “What, your presentation?” He teased, feigning confusion and holding back his laugh at the way Kon’s face scrunched in irritation. 

“No you jerk, this whole ‘touch-starved’ thing, seriously, it really sucks! I thought that, cause I’m different cause of the whole science experiment thing that I just, like, didn’t have that need like normal humans do. I thought it was a good thing too, like, that I could just carry on without having to worry about meeting another pesky need. Except I was totally wrong! Now I think I just never actually got enough physical touch that was, like, not the violent fight kind or the someone touching me to try and take something from me kind, that I just never even realized what I was missing. Like, there’s been Bart and his hugs and stuff always feel great, but they’re quick, so I don’t think it ever really properly registered.” Kon sucked in a breath, his eyes wide and earnest and painfully vulnerable, and Tim’s desire to tease Kon had already died the second he mentioned the experiment thing but it got properly buried when he saw that look in his friend’s eye, “Then the pollen stuff happened, and I felt really great afterwards, like, really great. I thought that the pollen just had some sort of afterglow effect, like the opposite of a hangover.” 

Tim shook his head, “It doesn’t, I usually feel really bad afterwards. Like I’m a wet rag and I’ve been totally wrung out.” 

Kon nodded, “That makes sense, though I think that’s probably also because you have been riding out the pollen alone cause I looked it up on the computer and that’s what it was saying. Anyway, did you feel that way this time, or did you feel nice afterwards?” 

Tim shrugged, “I felt better afterwards than I’ve ever felt after the pollen.” 

“Right,” Kon nodded, “right, me too, that’s what I’m saying. Except I didn’t realize it wasn’t just an after effect of the pollen. It had been wearing off for me by the time we started the fake dating thing. I felt, I don’t know how to describe it, sort of like my skin didn’t feel right? And like something was wrong in my chest. Then we did the whole fake dating thing, several days with a lot of physical contact, and I felt really good again. Except there was no pollen this time, which means that the pollen didn’t cause the good feeling. Then, like two weeks after the mission was over and we’d gone back to normal, I started feeling bad again.” 

Tim stayed silent and neutral, forcing his heartbeat to stay slow and steady the way Batman had trained him to. He knew what Kon was talking about, he’d felt the same. He was intimately familiar with the yo-yo effect of how it felt to get enough physical affection randomly, to feel that nice glow for a bit, and then to have it wear off and to just feel even worse than before because now you knew what you were missing. He knew what it was like to spend his whole life like that. To have his mom hug him and his dad ruffle his hair and to feel on top of the world and then to have them leave again and suddenly no one was touching him, and to have Nightwing try making this physical affection thing work with Tim despite how awful he was at it, then to have him be off in bludhaven again or on a Titan’s mission for a while. 

He’d spent his whole life on that yo-yo, and now here was Kon who’d only been yo-yo’ed twice and who was already done with it and had found a solution that Tim had never even managed to consider. Could he really deny Kon what he was asking for? Especially when Tim knew what the other boy was in for if he did. Sure, Tim had always maintained functionality, but Kon was right to say that it sucked. Did Tim even want to say no to this? Or did he just feel like he wasn’t supposed to want to say yes?

“And I know that you did too! I know that you’re supposed to be the one with great observational and detective skills, but that doesn’t mean I don’t notice things too. So I know that it wore off for you too and you’re touch starved again.” Kon continued a little breathlessly, like he was trying to get all the words out before Tim started arguing with him. 

Not that Tim was going to stop him, “What did you observe exactly?” Not when he was far more curious about what traits he was exhibiting that gave him away. 

“Uh, well, you started about a week ago.” Kon began explaining, a bit wide eyed like he hadn’t expected Tim to actually ask, which he felt like Kon should have predicted, “You started doing the thing where you rub at your skin, like your arms and legs and collarbones. I didn’t even really realize you did it or that it was anything more than just an nervous habit until I noticed that you’d stopped doing it after the pollen and then again after the fake dating thing. Plus, you had the weighted blankets on your bed when I dropped off the note, which I knew that you used during the pollen to stimulate human contact so…” Kon shrugged at that, “Yeah, I kinda figured you were touch starved too.” 

Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong. Though, Tim took note that he’d have to get the rubbing thing under control. He hadn’t realized he was broadcasting like that. His only assurance was that he couldn’t have been doing it around Batman because there was no way the man would’ve let such an obvious show of weakness slide. He’d known that he’d gotten really comfortable and really let his guard down around his fellow YJ members, but he hadn’t realized that he’d done so to the extent that his childhood self-soothing tactics had made a return. He’d have to get on that, it was frankly unacceptable and he’d been trained better both by himself and then by Batman. 

Or, maybe he wouldn’t have to. Maybe if he accepted Kon’s proposal then he wouldn’t be touch-starved anymore and therefore wouldn’t have those same self-soothing instincts in the first place. Sure it would be an admittance of need and therefore weakness, but like Kon had pointed out at the beginning, it would be mutually assured destruction if they ever actually tried to use it against each other. 

“So anyway, the point is that this whole touch starved thing sucks, and that whole afterglow thing, it felt really good. Except I’m pretty sure that there is no afterglow. I think we’ve both just been feeling shitty this whole time and that afterglow is just what it’s like to feel normal. Like, I think Cassie and Cissie and Bart just go around feeling like that all the time.” Kon said, seeming as bewildered by the concept as Tim felt, “And, I mean, if we do this, then I think we could too, is my point. That’s the third benefit.” 

Tim could barely imagine a world where he just walked around feeling like that all the time. It was a crazy idea, the kind of existence that something in him whispered wasn’t meant for someone like him, that he hadn’t been given that kind of life for a reason. Except, here Kon was offering it, so maybe that meant that now he could have it. More importantly, here was Kon asking for it, here was Tim’s friend telling him that he needed something and Tim could give it. 

“So anyway. Now, how would this arrangement work?” Kon continued, flipping to the next page that read terms and conditions, “So, this arrangement has to be a secret. When we were fake dating, other than calling each other ‘babe’ we were pretty much just acting like Cassie and Cissie and doing platonic affection and that was enough for people to think that we’re dating. And since we aren’t gay, and aren’t dating, I’m assuming neither of us want anyone thinking we are, so we can’t really be letting anyone see us acting like this. Plus, and this is the more important reason, I’m pretty sure neither of us likes the idea of admitting we need help or have any sort of needs or weaknesses, so we cannot risk having to explain what we’re doing to someone. So this arrangement stays a total secret and only happens behind closed doors with no one else around.” 

Tim nodded his agreement easily. That had been pretty much a given. Partly because superhero gossip spread like crazy so anyone thinking they were dating would mean everyone thought they were dating and even if there was nothing wrong with being gay that didn’t mean he wanted people thinking things about him that weren’t true. Plus, yeah, he could only imagine the shame if what he and Kon were talking about doing ever got found out by anyone else. They’d be the laughing stock of the world. Forget about being heroes and vigilantes, they’d just be the two boys who needed a stupid hug so bad they’d done all this. Plus, given that this was an admittance of weakness, it was possible that supervillains could use this knowledge against them. 

“As for what exactly we’d be doing, I kind of figured that, if you agreed to this whole proposal, then we’d figure that out together. I mean it’d be both of us so we should both probably have a say, plus it’s you so i figured there was a good chance that you’d want paperwork involved and more NDAs and stuff so I didn’t really plan for any specific terms or whatever.” Kon shrugged, cheeks dusting pink again as he rubbed the back of his neck and shot Tim a nervous grin, “So, uh, yeah, that’s my proposal. Are you in?” 

Tim sucked in a sharp breath, because he already knew his answer. Despite the fact that, if anyone had asked him if he’d even consider something like this before tonight he would have laughed in their face, Kon had made some compelling arguments for how this could be better for them professionally and for the team, and more importantly Tim’s friend was asking for something that he needed and couldn’t get elsewhere. 

And maybe also, secretly, because he just really fucking wanted to. Though, let the record show that that was not one of the official reasons why he was agreeing. 

“Yeah.” He said with a nod, forcing the breathlessness out of his voice, “Yeah, I’m in.” 

Kon practically lit up at that, pumping a fist in the air and exclaiming, “Hell yeah!!!” Before seeming to catch himself and clear his throat, “So,” he drawled, clearly putting his ‘super cool macho guy’ facade into place that made Tim instantly roll his eyes, “What convinced ya? Was it my roguish charm?” 

No, actually it was his earnestness, and nervousness, but Tim wasn’t going to say that, “Don’t make me change my mind.” He warned the other boy instead. 

Kon blanched at that, facade destroyed in an instant and he was back to the earnest, nervous Kon of a minute before, “Yeah, no of course, totally. Anyway, uh, how exactly do you want to set up this arrangement?” 

Tim sat back in his chair and thought about that for a minute, “You said that for people our age, the primary source was familial and some platonic, right?” 

Kon nodded, “Yeah, that’s what CADMUS said research found. Familial accounts for most, followed by platonic, and then romantic being last since only some people our age even have romantic relationships and a lot of them don’t tend to last long.”

Tim nodded, “Ok then I think we should model it that way for the best results. We model the physical touch we engage in off of familial touches primarily, platonic touches as a secondary source, and then we can each get our own romantic relationships for that part of it.” 

Kon nodded along, “Ok, right, that makes sense. We can get girlfriends if we want them. Then we can just do what Bart, Cassie, and Cissie do for platonic affection, but uh, I don’t really have a good idea of what familial touch looks like.” 

Tim was silent for a moment, mulling that over before he finally admitted, “Neither do I. Or at least, I don’t know as much about it as I would like to in order to create an actual model of it.” 

They both sat there in silence for a few moments before Kon asked, “Do you think we could look it up on the internet?” 

Tim considered that for a moment, pretty much everything was on the internet nowadays, and something as common as familial affection would definitely be something that could be found on there. He didn’t want to look it up though, and it wasn’t just because doing so would feel like admitting something was wrong with him. Frankly this whole arrangement was proof enough that there was something wrong with both him and Kon, but hey, at least they could fix it together without bringing anyone else into it. No, that wasn’t why it felt like it would be wrong to do it that way. 

“My understanding of families is that they all function and express themselves differently. This arrangement that you’ve suggested would essentially having us both fill the role of family in each other’s life.” Tim started to explain, “Which means we can’t just take some cookie-cutter model of family from the internet. I think if this is going to work out then we need to build this ourselves and tailor it to our own needs.” 

Kon nodded along, “Yeah, that totally makes sense, but, um, how do we figure out what to do then?” 

And this Tim knew the answer to, “We research and observe.” He told the other boy, “I’m going to be in Gotham for the next week starting tomorrow. So we take that week, and observe as many families as we can without them noticing us. We each compile a list of every single way we observe different families expressing any form of physical affection. Then, when I come back in a week, we meet in here that night after everyone else goes to bed again and we compare lists. We can cross anything off the lists right off that bat that one or both of us knows we aren’t ok with doing. Then we try everything that’s left on the list one by one, each personally rate it, and get rid of the stuff we didn’t really like and keep the stuff we do. Sound good?” 

Kon was nodding, “Yeah, ok, that sounds like a good plan. I can definitely do that.” 

Tim nodded decisively, “Great. Is there anything you wanted to add? I know you said that setting this up should be a joint effort and I agree, I don’t want to just be giving out orders and not have your input.” Tim said, feeling a bit unsure about whether he’d just totally steamrolled Kon without meaning to. 

“No, that’s not what you’re doing!” Kon immediately assured him, “It’s- I’m more of a general concepts or ideas guy. You’re better at strategizing and honing plans, which is exactly what just happened. I came up with the idea and you figured out how to best execute it, so, y’know, yay teamwork!” 

Tim let himself relax at that, shooting Kon a small grin in thanks for the assurance, “Ok cool, just, like, tell me if I get too bossy or something. This isn’t a mission, there’s lots of room for negotiations and stuff here.” 

“Dude, I know, I’ll tell you if I think you’re being too bossy or whatever,” Kon said, looking at him with fond amusement that Tim didn’t know what to do with, “Besides, when have I ever backed down from saying that I disagreed with you or whatever else?” 

Tim huffed an amused laugh at that, “True.” He agreed and then considered all the times Kon had disagreed with him, “Hey, I think we should also add another condition to our arrangement.” 

Kon’s head tilted to the side, a bit like a confused dog, “What condition?” 

“We have to keep this arrangement entirely separate from every other aspect of our lives.” Tim explained, “It can’t just be enough that we can’t do it in public or can’t tell anyone about it, we literally have to keep the entire dynamic separate. Like, as team leader, I can’t favor you over the others, and as friends we can’t be acting suddenly way closer than we did before, we have to seemingly progress our friendship at a normal rate as much as we can. And we can’t let what happens on missions affect this dynamic either. If we get in an argument as Robin and Superboy about how a mission should be carried out or something like that, then we can’t carry that over into our arrangement otherwise it’s going to cause a lot of drama and we might fuck up both our friendship and the team dynamics. So, I think we should agree to keep total separation.” 

Tim watched as Kon seemed to consider that for a moment before he asked, “Does that mean we can’t talk about anything superhero or team related while we are acting on the arrangement?” 

He shook his head, because that would never work, “No, we can still talk about stuff related to that, we just don’t talk strategy or about any disagreements we might have while we’re doing the arrangement. We talk about that stuff some other time.” 

Kon considered that for another moment before he nodded, “Ok yeah, that makes sense. I agree to your added condition.” 

“Cool,” Tim nodded. “I guess we’re done for now then, unless you had something else to add?” 

Kon shook his head, “Nope.” He said, popping the ‘P’. 

“Alright, well then, I guess I’ll see you next week. Remember to note down every form of physical touch between family members for the best sample size, we’ll hone it down later.” Tim reminded him as he stood from his chair and Kon did the same, “Guess I’ll see you back here in a week.” 

“Yeah,” Kon agreed, “Be safe, yeah? And call me if you get hit with pollen.” 

Tim rolled his eyes, “Am I really going to have to promise you that every time I leave?” 

Kon nodded, “Until I actually believe you’ll do it, yes.” 

Tim would like to argue that that wasn’t fair, but if he was being entirely honest, he wasn’t yet sure if he would call Kon. Although now with this arrangement, he imagined he was going to become more and more likely to do so very quickly. 

“Whatever, yeah I’ll call you.” He said, turning and heading towards the conference room door as Kon started ripping the pages of his proposal presentation out of the giant notepad, Tim paused at the door, fingers on the handle as he remembered what had caused this whole thing to happen tonight, “Hey, Kon?” 

“Yeah,” Kon asked, head popping up from where he’d been messing with the notepad. 

“Do you, uh,” he stumbled on his words a bit, feeling incredibly awkward about it, “Do you want a hug, before I go?” 

There was the fluttering of papers being dropped to the table and a whoosh as Kon used his super speed so he was standing right in front of Tim in a second, “Really?” 

Tim laughed, “I mean yeah, I figure you said you’ve been feeling crappy and I can’t exactly help for the next week, but I can give you a hug before I go.” He shrugged. 

Kon squinted at him, “I mean, yeah that’d be nice, but do you want a hug?” He asked a bit pointedly. 

Tim shrugged, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind it.” 

Kon groaned, “Rob, dude, c’mon. I just proposed to you, we’ve both now agreed that this is something that we need. Can you give me a little better than that? Just a yes or no, do you want a hug too?” 

Tim resisted the urge to cross his arms across his chest as that would defeat the whole point and instead ground out a, “Yes.” 

Kon grinned at him brightly and Tim melted just a little bit, and next thing he knew Kon’s arms were around him and Tim wound his arms around Kon in return. It felt nice, and then he started overthinking it and stiffened up, like he always did cause he was incapable of not ruining this.

Kon just squeezed him harder instead of letting him go and looking at him in concern the way Dick always did. Like Tim’s lack of skill was something to be concerned about instead of the proof that Tim wasn’t meant for those kinds of touches that it was. 

“Hey, me proposing this doesn’t change anything. I still have no clue what I’m doing either, alright? I won’t know if you’re doing it wrong and I’m not going to let go until you actually ask me to.” Kon told him, keeping his arms squeezing tight around Tim, like he was something the boy actually wanted to hold on to. 

Tim nodded against his shoulder, and let himself incrementally relax, “I’ll get better at this. I promise.” He swore to the other boy. 

Kon just chuckled, “Yeah, we both will, and we’ll do it together. That’s kind of the whole point of my proposal.” 

Tim nodded against his shoulder again, not saying anything this time though and just enjoying the hug for the next minute or so before they broke apart. He felt a little breathless, and he could see that Kon did too. The whole night having left them both feeling a bit heady. 

“I’ll um,” Tim cleared his throat, as he backed towards the door, “I’ll be back in a week. With notes to go through, and uh, official paperwork for us to sign regarding this arrangement.” 

Kon nodded, “Can’t wait to sign it without reading it.” He joked, sending Tim off with a mock salute. 

Not that he actually meant it, Tim knew better. Kon valued his still semi-new autonomy too much to ever sign something without reading it. If he hadn’t already known that about his friend, then the way he’d poured over the Pollen NDAs would’ve set the record straight. 

“Yeah,” Tim nodded, letting out a chuckle as he reached the door, though it was a bit awkward. 

This whole thing was more than a bit awkward, so all things considered, Tim was giving them both major maturity points for making it through that whole thing without either of them, like, exploding or something. 

Now they just had to go through the awkwardness of actually doing what Kon had proposed. 

…………………………………….

Robin showed up with photos. Like, high quality stalker kind of photos. Kon was electing to ignore the stalker-y vibe to the photos seeing as he’d basically been stalking random families all week too, including Cassie and her mom. Still though, the photos and detailed list Robin had shown up with made him feel a bit like his own scrawls in a notebook didn’t really measure up. 

Robin had taken one look at it though and nodded approvingly, “Glad you took this seriously too.” 

Which, yeah, of course he had. It had literally been his idea. But also Rob’s approval had made him feel better so he didn’t say that. 

It was the night Robin had returned from Gotham, and the next day they’d be heading off to go see Cissie kick ass in the Olympics. Which meant now was pretty much their only chance to get this all worked out before they were busy for the next little bit. 

“So, let’s start with the paperwork. Then we will go over our lists and filter out any immediate no’s.” Robin proposed, opening up a separate file that had proper forms in it and sliding it over to Kon. “The first one is a contract. It outlines the arrangement you suggested and the stipulations we discussed. We’ll both sign that saying that we agree to the arrangement for the foreseeable future, though we are free to draw up the paperwork and exit the arrangement at any time either of us deem it necessary for any reason. The other one is a mutual NDA, like we signed for the pollen, this would prohibit us from sharing any information about our agreement with anyone else for the next ten years, with the possibility open to re-sign for another ten years once it’s up.” 

“Thats it for paperwork?” Kon couldn’t help but be surprised at that, having figured there would be way more. 

Robin nodded though, “For now, yes. However, seeing as this is new and we are still hammering out the exact details and boundaries of how this will go, I expect there will be addendums that we will add along the way.” 

Kon nodded, accepting that answer and started reading through the first document. It didn’t have anything surprising or anything hidden in the fine print. It was pretty bare bones actually, pretty much just exactly what Robin had said. Not that he’d expect Robin to try and sneak something under Kon’s nose, not like this at the very least, but he still couldn’t help but read every word. Just to be absolutely sure. 

He signed the first one once he was done reading it the second time before sliding it over to Robin sitting next to him who signed it after him. Then he started reading the NDA. It seemed pretty similar to the other one he’d signed about the pollen incident, and like the contract, there were no surprises or things hidden in the fine print, so Kon signed it and slid it across to Robin too. Robin then signed it as well and then slid the documents back into their folder which he then put inside an unlabeled binder. 

“Now, onto the lists.” Robin hummed, all business, which Kon found reassuring actually since it kind of balanced out how touchy-feely the nature of this subject was. “Do you want to go through yours or mine first?” 

Kon shrugged, “Let’s do yours.” He said and Robin nodded and flipped open another much more full folder and then pulled out a blank piece of paper and a pen. 

“We’ll keep track of which ones we are keeping on here.” Tim explained writing a ‘Touches approved for attempts’ across the top, “but we’ll keep our lists and notes so we can refer back to them if we get confused about what something means. Then, I’ll use this list to make another form for us to each have so we can rate each one when we try it. Sound good?” 

Kon nodded, “Yeah, sounds very effective. What’s first?” 

Robin pulled out the first sheet of paper with a photo clipped to the top. The title read ‘shoulder squeeze’ and there was a whole column of notes below it both describing the mechanics of the motion and when it seemed to be used which included ‘as a sign of approval or of comfort/reassurance’ and ‘sometimes performed off-handedly as just a means of brief contact.’ The photo showed a teenage girl and what was presumably her Father standing at a crosswalk with the dad’s hand on her shoulder. 

Well, Robin had clearly gone full analytical mode. Kon decided to take that as a win though, after all, clearly Robin was invested in making this work. Especially considering how one of Robin’s major hang ups about physical touch was that he was bad at it-even though Kon disagreed with that assessment- if he needed to approach this from an analytical perspective for now then Kon was happy to let him. There may come a time when they were actually trying to enact this stuff that he’d need to tell his friend to relax, but that was a future him’s problem. 

“What do you think, yes or no?” Robin asked him, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

Kon blinked, refocusing on the paper in front of him before shrugging, “I mean, yeah, seems fine to me.” 

“Me too.” Robin nodded, writing it down on the piece of paper. 

It continued on like that for a while, and it really was a while, Kon had compiled a pretty long list but Robin’s was somehow longer. It helped that he knew there would be a lot of repeats once they got to his list, so it wouldn’t take too long after they finished Robin’s. 

Most everything seemed worth a try to him so far, he didn’t really have much he was against trying at least once. Neither did Robin, as it turned out. They actually had 67 different acts of familial physical affection written down before they found one that was a no. 

This one was titled ‘peck on the mouth’ and had a photo of a grandma with what seemed to be her grandchildren. The notes included ‘quick and closed-mouth’ and ‘appears to be a method of greeting in many cases’ and ‘different generational and cultural influences seem to be at play with which families do and do not do this.’

They both sat there and stared at the paper in silence for a solid minute before Robin broke the silence with a, “I’m not comfortable trying this one.” 

“Yeah, me neither.” Kon agreed instantly, letting out a relieved sigh. 

Robin flipped to the next page after that and they continued on easily enough. Possibly easier than before now that they both knew the other would actually say no if there was something they weren’t ok with trying. 

By the time they got to Kon’s list there were already 133 items on their approved for attempt list. Luckily though, Kon had been right about most of his being repeats. They flipped through his list, which was just a title and a few notes of where he’d seen it and a description if the title wasn’t self explanatory. 

They’d only added three out of the sixty on his list they’d gone through so far when all the sudden Robin laughed. “Kon, dude, when I said to include every form of touch between family members I didn’t mean for you to include the family pets.” 

Kon’s brow furrowed at that, because he hadn’t included the family pets, then he saw which one Robin was looking at, “Oh, no, that one Cissie told me about. She said her mom used to do it to her.” 

“Belly rubs?” Robin clarified, brow arched. 

Kon nodded, “Yeah. She said her mom used to do it after a long day of arrowette training sometimes when her ab muscles were really sore and so her mom would just rub her stomach. She said it was a bit like a massage except without a lot of pressure since it’s just organs and no bones under there like at your shoulders.” 

Robin seemed to consider it for a moment, that frustratingly neutral expression firmly in place that made Kon want to squirm. 

“You want to try this?” Robin asked carefully. 

He shrugged, “Cissie said she really missed it. I figure it must feel pretty good if it got her to admit to missing any part of the old times with her mom.” 

Robin seemed to take that into consideration too, remaining perfectly neutral. 

“Rob, we don’t have to try it.” Kon reminded him, “You can say you don’t wanna, no judgement, remember? We both promised.” 

Rob nodded, “No, I know.” He said, before writing it on the list, “I just needed to think it over for a minute.” 

Kon decided to let it go. They’d try it, and if Rob wasn’t ok with it then it’d be pretty obvious and Kon would put an end to it there. Hell, there was a chance Kon himself wouldn’t be ok with it once they actually tried it. That’s what the list was for anyway. 

They continued on, adding in ‘sleeping together after a nightmare,’ which they both agreed they’d have to wait till one of them had a nightmare while they were in the same place to actually try out, and ‘styling hair (if either of us grows it long)’ and ‘that slow hug-dancing thing’ among a few other items. By the time they were done they had 213 different ways to have physical contact to try out. 

Kon hadn’t realized how much work, time, consideration, and paperwork went into a friends with benefits relationship, no wonder not everyone did this

Chapter Text

They didn't actually get the chance to go through the list they'd compiled till a week later. Which Kon supposed did end up giving Robin time to actually create forms where each type of touch was listed followed by an area for rating their opinion of it and a small box for a few notes. 

Kon thought the whole thing was kind of tedious, but he knew that it made Robin feel more comfortable about this, so he wasn't complaining about it. Plus, the part of him that was nervous about accidentally pressuring Rob in some way into doing things he wasn't comfortable with was a bit soothed by the fact that each of them would be documenting their own opinion of each form of touch before comparing their results at the end. 

Kon had called it a double blind study, and Robin had said that he was sort of right, which was honestly more right than he usually expected to be when he used fancy terminology. 

It was weird, and it didn't fix how much of a pain all this paper work was, but it helped with their awkwardness and insecurities at least. So, he supposed a week of the team being busy wasn't actually a bad thing if it gave Robin time to properly set up. 

Plus, Kon had overall had a great week. For starters, they'd all gotten to watch Cissie win the gold fucking metal for the freaking Olympics! Which, despite them being a team of superheroes, might actually be the coolest thing any of them had ever done. 

The whole mess with Zandia had worked out too, even if one of their athletes had won the bronze for archery Cissie and her teammate had still won  gold and silver so if you asked him then he'd say who even cared about that bronze metal loser. 

Plus, they'd found out who Empress was which was super rad. Turned out her name was Anita and she was Agent Fite's daughter which was totally crazy but also really cool. Kon couldn't imagine trying to hide that you were a superhero when your dad was a secret agent. So now, on top of having a Gold metal olympist in their inner circle, they'd gotten to add a new friend and teammate too. 

Cissie hadn't really gotten to meet her too well since she'd been busy with Olympics stuff for a lot of their three days there, but Cassie seemed to hit it off with Anita so he was sure Cissie would like her too. 

Either way, the week it took before they could start experimenting for their arrangement didn't end up being a bad wait at all. Primarily because the reason that they had made their friends with benefits deal was cause they were touch starved, but Kon got so much touch during that week that he didn't particularly feel touch-starved. 

It started with the sleeping arrangements. Cissie's mom had offered to pay for them to stay in a hotel saying that it was important that Cissie have her friends' support and that she wanted her to have a fan club in the crowd. She'd said that it was impressive enough that they'd managed to score themselves last minute tickets and that they were kids and shouldn't need to worry about their sleeping arrangements. 

After Cissie's mom had pointed that out, they'd asked Rob how he'd actually managed to get their tickets. To which he had only said a cryptic "Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies." So they'd just let sleeping dogs lie on that one. 

They'd also asked Cissie if she was ok with them taking her mom up on the offer for sleeping arrangements. Since Cissie had a rocky at best relationship with her own mom, and that was somehow an improvement to what it'd used to be. 

Cissie had said yes though, saying that her mom was really trying. She'd said that as much as living with her mom sucked back then, it'd also sucked this past year when she just didn't have a mom at all really, and that her mom was really trying to be good to her now and that maybe the mom her mother could be now that she was trying was what Cissie deserved. At which point Cassie had hugged her real tight and then they'd all piled into the hug. 

It was a very nice touchy-feely moment all around, but the bottom line was that Cissie had given the green light on Ms. King-Jones making their sleeping arrangements.

So that first night after the opening ceremony with the torch and stuff, Cissie's mom had led them all to a street near the stadium with no less than five hotels on it. 

"Alright kids, you guys are gonna be staying over here." She pointed to the hotel closest to them on the left, "I will be at this hotel right across the street if you all need anything or if there's any trouble. I wish I'd been able to stay closer, I tried to get you guys a room next door to mine, but by the time I knew you were coming the hotel I was in had no more vacancies." 

"That's alright Ms. King-Jones," Cassie assured her, "We're pretty good at looking out for each other, but we'll come get you if anything happens." 

Cissie's mom pursed her lips like she wasn't very pleased about the situation anyway. Kon wasn't really sure what to do with that, it's not like he'd ever had a parent, even if it was someone else's, worry about him like she was. Robin looked very neutral about the whole thing, but there was tension in his shoulders the way there always was when anyone tried worrying about him. Bart appeared to be already distracted by a caterpillar on the ground, but he was staying near them so Kon took the win. 

"Alright, c'mon I'm gonna check you in at the front desk and make sure you all get to your rooms before I head over to my hotel." Cissie's mom said, blowing out a breath after a moment of silence, "Just so I can make sure everything is set up the way it's supposed to be." 

So they all followed her into the hotel lobby, waiting patiently in line until it was their turn at the front desk. The four of them hovering right behind Cissie's mom while she talked to the clerk behind the desk to get them key cards to their rooms and asking that everything was set up to her request and stuff like that. Kon didn't think he'd ever felt like such a kid more than he did in this moment. Looking at the others he could tell they felt the same. It was weird especially since, as a group, their adult oversight was Red Tornado who held them in check in a professional capacity, or at least tried to, but he didn't do stuff like what Cissie's mom was doing now. No one had really cared where they all slept before. 

Once they had their keys to the hotel rooms, Cissie's mom brought them over towards the elevators and handed both Cassie and Rob a key. "There are two rooms, one for you boys and another for you Cassie. I don't want any of the boys in your room, young lady, your mother would have my head, do you hear me?" 

"Yes ma'am," Cassie nodded respectfully, she'd always been the best with adults between all of them, "We totally understand, and they won't try breaking that rule either, right boys?" 

Kon shook his head and Robin did the same as he nudged Bart in the ribs who looked up startled, saw them shaking their heads, and did the same. Cissie's mom nodded sharply in approval. Kon had to admit, he understood what Cissie had meant when she'd called her mom 'militaristic at best', and to think that this was what the woman was like when she was 'trying' and 'doing better'. Yikes. 

"Good, now off to bed with you all. There's breakfast here from 7-10 included in your stay, so go ahead and fill up here in the morning before the games." She instructed them all, "Then meet me out in front of the stadium at 11 before you head in and grab your seats. I would like to have proof that you all made it through the night without issue." 

"Yes ma'am." Both Cassie and Rob nodded in synch, because of course Rob knew how to take military style orders. 

Cissie's mom nodded sharply at them again, and apparently this nod was a dismissal because Cassie and Robin stepped into the now open elevator. Kon grabbed Bart and gently dragged him to follow with him. The doors closed with a pleasant ding and they all let their shoulders slump in relief. 

"Jesus, I've got a new appreciation for Cissie." Kon groaned, "Her mom is super intense." 

The others nodded in agreement, standing in comfortable silence for a moment before Robin broke the silence as the doors slid open on their floor, "Ok, before anyone gets comfortable we need to check the rooms for any surveillance devices." 

Kon held back his groan at that. He wanted nothing more than to flop into a bed and conk out right now. Unfortunately Robin's surveillance checks had sometimes yielded results in the past, which meant that Kon could kiss any chance of Robin letting up on them in the present or the future goodbye. 

The rooms were across the hall from each other, which meant they'd have easy access to each other should something go wrong which was always good. They went into the one on their left first. Cassie tossing her duffel towards the bed and claiming that one as hers as they all spread out to look over the room. 

Kon noticed the potential issue almost immediately. There was only one bed, and it wasn't a particularly big one. It would be fine for Cassie, but potentially less fine when it came to being able to fit three teenage boys. Like, literally fit. Kon was all for some cuddle time with Rob and Bart at this point, he just really didn't think they'd all fit. 

He looked over at Rob, who seemed to have noticed the same thing, "I'll sleep on the floor." Robin said decisively before continuing his sweep. 

"Oh sweet, they've got a TV in here!" Bart called out before he started messing with the controls on that. 

Cassie glanced between the three of them and the bed, also noting the issue, "No, there's no real need for that. I'll just have Bart sleep in here with me." 

"But, Cissie's mom-" Kon started, because she had not seemed like a lady he wanted to cross. 

"Isn't here." Cassie cut him off, "Besides, the whole reason she didn't want one of you in here with me is she doesn't want us having sex, and I'd honestly put it at 50/50 odds for whether or not Bart even knows what sex is. Plus, I'm almost a 100% sure he doesn't see me like that." 

They all turned to look at Bart at that, assessing him because, well, there was no way, right? Bart had to know what sex was. 

"I mean, we've definitely talked about sex around him." Kon pointed out, still unsure. 

"True, but not the explicit mechanics of it." Robin pointed out, "Besides, he doesn't actually listen to us most of the time anyway. Plus, I mean, we find out a new basic concept that he has no idea about thanks to his VR upbringing, like, once a week. The odds that he doesn't know aren't ignorable." 

"I wonder how we could find out." Cassie mused, like now that she'd set it out loud and set this train in motion she was curious where she hadn't been before, "Do we just... ask him?" 

"Hey, I'm gonna go grab our set-up from back at base so we can play video games!" Bart called over to them and then he was gone with a telltale whoosh. 

"No, we don't need to find out either." Robin sighed, "Either he knows already, or he doesn't know and he'll find out eventually. That's between him, his guardians who are supposed to give him the talk, and whoever he ends up dating one day." 

Kon and Cassie both nodded, and Kon scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as they all stood in silence. He had to admit he was still curious about if Bart knew or not, especially since he couldn't imagine a world where he didn't know. Literally. He'd popped out of the tube knowing. Then had some first-hand experience, not quite with sex but at least with like making out and stuff, pretty early on. 

Whatever. It wasn't a problem for now at least. He'd find out some other time if Bart knew or not and then figure out what to do from there. Robin may be fine leaving it up to Bart's guardians or mentors to teach him, but if they weren't then Kon didn't want him going around not knowing that sort of stuff either. Being that kind of clueless tended to make you an easy target to be taken advantage of, and Kon would rather die than let anyone hurt Bart in any way but especially in that way. 

"Cassie, are you sure you're alright spending the next couple nights with Bart." Robin was asking while he examined the mirrors, "Seriously, I know it's Bart, but he is still a guy. If you're uncomfortable with it then that's fine. I'm perfectly fine taking the floor." 

Cassie rolled her eyes, "Yeah of course I'm fine with it. Besides, it's not like it'd be the first time. He joins in on Cissie and I's sleepovers half the time." 

Kon hadn't actually known that, and apparently Robin hadn't either. He wondered what the hell Bart had done to score open invites to the girls' sleepovers, something that every teenage boy ever would've killed for. 

Bart whooshed back into the room just then with their console and controllers bundled in his arms, "I vote we play a tournament!" He declared with a wide grin. 

"Hey Bart, are you cool with bunking with me?" Cassie asked.

"Yeah!" Bart's grin got even wider, an excited gleam in his eyes, "Oooh can we do those face mask things we did last time?" 

Cassie arched an eyebrow at him and Robin as if to say 'see told you it was fine', before turning back to Bart and saying, "Sorry dude, I didn't pack them." 

"Oh, that's fine." Bart said before whooshing away again. 

"Why don't you two head to your room, sweep it and put PJs on then come back over and we can play some video games before bed?" Cassie suggested, "I can finish sweeping this room and get Bart settled once he comes back." 

Which was how he and Robin ended up sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, wearing a face mask for the first time ever in Kon's life at least, and dueling it out on the screen with Cassie and Bart who were curled up in the bed. Overall it was a really nice night, and he had to admit that the face mask Cassie had sat on him to get onto his face actually felt pretty nice. Despite the fact that he was sure he looked just as ridiculous as the other three did. 

He even let Robin take a photo of them all in the bathroom mirror with the cheap disposable camera he'd gotten to take with them for the games. 

When they did eventually decide to call it a night somewhere into the AM, he and Rob made their way back across the hall and into their own room. 

Once the door closed behind them though, all the sudden it got awkward as they both just stood there and stared at the bed. 

It was nearing in on a minute when Kon lost his patience and broke the silence with a groan, "C'mon, does this really have to be so awkward?" 

Robin's head tilted to the side just a little bit as his considering gaze moved from Kon to the bed then back to Kon again. 

"We have not had time for any trials, but we have already slept together multiple times." Robin stated, "So I see no reasons we shouldn't be able to do so again, even without the official tests and trials we know how to do this and that we enjoy it. Unless you didn't before, and it served a purely functional purpose?" 

Kon was already shaking his head, "No, I- it helped. I felt good after each time, and it was nice during too." 

Robin nodded once, not as sharply as Cissie's mom had earlier but it was a close thing. Great, now instead of things being overall awkward, Robin was tense. Kon wasn't quite sure if that was an improvement or not. 

He watched as Robin moved over towards the bathroom as opposed to the bed. It wasn't until the sink turned on and he heard the tell-tale bristling noises of Rob brushing his teeth that he realized what the other boy was doing, and also that Kon should probably be doing it too. So he grabbed his brush and followed Robin into the bathroom. They brushed their teeth standing next to each other in silence, though it wasn't too tense yet.

The tenseness returned as Kon climbed into the bed while Robin went to turn off the lights. He let himself get comfy and shift around a bit as his superhearing picked up the soft thuds of Robin's heartbeat moving closer to the bed. Not his footsteps though, because those were somehow actually silent, even in a more casual setting. Bat-training really must have been something else. 

Kon stayed quiet as Robin hesitated at the edge of the bed, hoping that if he didn't bring any more attention to it then Robin would feel more comfortable. A second later he did crawl into the bed, and the mattress was small enough that that meant he was lying right against Kon's side already. He threw an arm around Rob's waist and pulled him properly against his own torso and Robin tensed for a moment before relaxing. Like, actually relaxing, heartbeat and all. It took a minute but it did actually happen. 

Progress. This was so much progress. He didn't even have to tell Rob that he wanted to be doing this! Man, that proposal had been the best idea Kon had ever come up with. 

A minute later and Robin's arm snaked around Kon's waist too, featherlight before it settled with such an even dispersal of weight that it had to have been a painfully intentional move, but it was done without prompting. Robin hadn't been in any way prompted into the motion, which meant that no matter how much he might be overthinking it, the action had been done of his own accord and likely because he'd wanted to do it. 

If Kon fell asleep with a grin on his face that night, then it wasn't like anyone could see it anyway. 

The next night went even smoother. Half because, like the last time they'd shared a bed, the more they did it the easier it got. Half because  they'd spent most of the night proving Cissie's mom was innocent and then fighting part of the Zandian Olympic team. So they were pretty beat by the time they actually collapsed into bed. 

Then it was their last day and they were heading back to the their home base, back to waiting for whatever their next mission would be. Except, as it turned out, their next mission was already waiting for them in the form of Doiby waiting for them in their lobby. 

Then, they were off to freaking space! Which was so badass. This had been a really badass week all around, first they went to the Olympics to cheer on Cissie as she won gold then they went to space to save an alien princess. 

Even though Kon had been the one to help unpackage it, he could still barely believe that Bart had really gotten a fully functioning high-tech spaceship. Honestly, he supposed there were some perks to Bart potentially not knowing what sex was. Namely the fact that while Kon had been distracted by all the hot babes, Bart had actually taken advantage of the fact that Styne had promised to fulfill any wish they wanted and had asked for a spaceship! Totally badass. 

It went faster than any government spaceship could, by a lot, which meant that they actually could achieve travel to other solar systems in a relatively short period of time. Plus it had a pretty big cabin with loads of controls that he didn't even know what they did. That wasn't just cause of him not knowing stuff, he was pretty sure Rob didn't know what all of them did either. There was a small medical room stocked with a cot and first aid supplies. There was stocked cupboards with astronaut food and an area with couches towards the back of the main cabin, plus a bunk room that had two bunkbeds. Plus, obviously a bathroom with showers. Overall, if they had to travel any significant distances then they'd definitely be able to in this ship. 

Not that they had to this time, it only took them the length of an afternoon to reach Doiby's princess girlfriend's planet. 

The trip had been going pretty smoothly until the last hour or so. They'd all been hanging out, and getting to know Anita a bit better when it happened. 

"You still haven't told us how you know Cissie? Does she know you?" Cassie was asking, curiosity clear in her voice. 

"No, it all started in a mall, actually." Anita replied, and Kon had to admit his curiousity was piqued too. 

"A mall?" Cassie asked, brows furrowing in confusion. 

"Yes, you remember the one where Cissie stopped that thug on an elevator?" Anita explained, and Kon did remember that, back when they were trying to cheer Cissie up after she'd nearly killed the guy that'd tortured and killed her therapist, "Well, I was in the crowd watching-"

Anita was cut off by a sudden yell from the cockpit, "Wait a minute! The planet's been invaded?!" Robin sounded outraged and he immediately had all their attention. 

"You didn't tell us that hostile forces had taken over Myrg and that you were a wanted criminal?!" Robin was both yelling and growling at the same time somehow, which was actually kind of impressive. 

Kon was glad he wasn't the one on the receiving end of Robin's ire, that was for sure. 

"Ya didn't ask." Doiby shot back, unrepentant. 

Robin's pulse skyrocketed and then immediately evened out. Oh god, he was really pissed, like, might attempt strangling Doiby right now levels of pissed. 

"I thought you just, oh, I don't know..." he tapped his chin in mock thoughtfulness anger and sarcasm dripping off of every word, "needed a lift." 

"Problem Rob?" Kon asked carefully, leaping over the chair and placing himself smoothly between Doiby and Rob because honestly someone needed to. 

Robin didn't lose his shit as often as the rest of them were inclined to, but that definitely made him no less dangerous when he did. 

"Yes! There's a problem!" Robin locked onto him and instead of directing his anger at its source now he switched over into generalized frustration, which was much better, "It's us against an invading race! A whole race, Kon. I mean, a challenge is one thing but come on!" 

He needed to think of an upside quick so Robin would stop catastrophizing and to make sure he didn't turn his anger back on Doiby. "Uh, hey, I mean, look at the upside! It's not Earth so you can ditch the whole urban legend thing. No more low profile!"

Robin just looked at him disbelievingly for a second before he groaned, "Oh, right, that'll help! 'Look! Leading the way it's a kid in red and green tights! Let's surrender'!” Kon could practically feel the sarcasm dripping off those words, then Robin took a breath and seemed to realize that Kon wasn't the source of his frustrations, and added a bit kinder, "No offense, Kon, but we'd need at least one more powerhouse... no, an absolute destroying machine! Before we even consider such a-"

This time it was Robin being interrupted by Secret popping through the wall, "Hey, guys! This really interesting kid showed up outside! He asked if I was looking for a fight! I said yes, but not here, and there might be a fight where we're going! And he wanted to come along so I let him in through the cargo bay, ok?" 

Well. There was that. 

"Is it just me, or is she starting to think like Impulse?" Robin leaned over to ask him. 

"Great move, Susie!" Bart exclaimed, literally bouncing on his feet. 

Kon leaned towards Robin too and replied, "It's not just you" 

They all went quickly over to the cargo bay where there was a teenage boy with chalk white skin, black spikes for hair, and a short bulky build waiting for them. 

"Ok, who're you losers? Where's the fight? And who's set to tussle with the top teen?" The boy said in greeting, or more accurately, demanded. 

"His name is Lobo!" Secret introduced with a grin. 

Well, Rob had said they needed another destructive force in the team, "Good enough?" Kon asked him. 

"It's going to have to be." Doiby informed them before Robin could answer and likely point out how awful a plan this was again. 

Robin's head turned sharply towards the old man. "Why would you say that?" 

Doiby kicked up their speed another notch, "Cause that's a Myrg cruiser about to blow us outta space." He informed them bluntly before making a sharp left. 

He exchanged another look with Robin, both of them filled with the understanding that this was about to be a total disaster from start to finish, like all their missions were. They had each other though, and as long as the team was together then they'd figure their way out of any disaster. 

.......................................

Cassie just didn't understand why the hell Cissie was so mad at her? Like, ok, yea, sure. It was probably pretty jarring to have been at school and then to suddenly appear in the middle of a baseball pitch on another planet. Still though, it's not like it was Cassie's fault that, when asked who she'd most like to see at their side, that she'd instinctually thought of Cissie. Not even said her name out loud, had just thought about Cissie. Her best friend, because, c'mon, who else were you supposed to think of when asked that question? 

According to Cissie, not her. 

"Mad? Why should I be mad? It's... kinda flattering. You needed a ball player to help save the planet from an alien invasion, and here you thought of me instead of, oh, I dunno," and here it comes, Cassie braced for the explosion, "SUPERMAN? WONDER WOMAN? FLASH? PLASTIC MAN EVEN?! But no, some sense of nostalgia kicks in and suddenly I'm- I'm.... Where am I again?" 

"Myrg." One of the aliens provided helpfully, because apparently they were also paying attention to Cassie getting chewed out by her best friend. 

"Myrg. Thank you." Cissie sighed before tipping her head up and yelling at the sky, "I'm on Myrg! With superheroes even though I don't do the superhero thing anymore! This stinks, just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

Oh, so that was why Cissie was so upset. Cassie could kind of understand that, even if she didn't really understand why Cissie felt it was so necessary to quit being a superhero in the first place. She still knew it was important to her friend, and she still tried to respect that boundary. It's not like Cassie's actions had summoned Cissie here, she really couldn't control her instinctual thoughts. 

"Look, Cissie, I really didn't mean to drag you into this." Cassie tried to explain, "Besides, you're not here as Arrowette, you're here as Cissie King-Jones, Olympic gold medalist!" 

Cissie scoffed, "Yeah, in archery!" She exclaimed, "I've never played baseball outside of gym class, Cass! I shouldn't be here!" 

Cassie, sighed, "Yeah well, you're here. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but you're here so can you forgive me so we can be a team and play baseball to save the universe or is this going to be a problem?" 

It was blunt, blunter than Cassie usually was, but Robin and Doiby were walking back towards the pitch from city hall and the speakers were coming to life to play a jaunty tune and they really did need to save the universe right now. Cissie looked around, stared at the sky for a bit, then stared and kicked at the ground for a few moments before she sighed. 

"Yeah, fine. We're good for now." She said, looking back up at Cassie, "I'm still made at you though." 

"Yeah, alright fine. We'll talk it out later." Cassie agreed, swooping in to wrap an arm around Cissie's shoulders.

Cissie allowed it for a moment, which gave Cassie hope that forgiveness was in her near future before shoving her off, "Alright, let's go join the team huddle or whatever those idiots are doing over there." 

They started making their way towards the entrance to their dugout when Rob and Doiby came in through the fence and the other team got a look at them. 

Cassie and Cissie stopped walking in shock as the other team and all the aliens in the stands fell to their knees and bowed towards Robin. 

"Look! It's a kid in red and green tights, let's surrender!" One of the aliens cried before practically face planting. 

"And you said it couldn't possibly be that easy!" Kon said, grinning the most delighted shit-eating grin Cassie had ever seen. 

"But-But this is ridiculous." Robin replied, and even with the mask on Cassie was pretty sure his eyes were wide in shock, "I-I don't understand." 

Kon waved towards all the aliens on the ground, "What's to understand? They forfeit, we win, game over!" 

"GET UP!" GET UP YOU IDIOTS!" The alien team captain's voice boomed across the pitch. 

"But- but he's wearing-" one of the aliens tried to protest before being cut off. 

"It's a coincidence fools! On your feet!" The captain ordered before turning to them, "Excuse the behavior of my men. Red and green are the colors of leadership on our world. They are conditioned to defer to it at all times." 

To his credit, the captain was also wearing red and green so his explanation checked out. 

"I am K'rnd'g, head of this regiment of players." Cassie wasn't even going to attempt pronouncing that guys name ever again, "I wish you a good game for the sake of this world," Robin, as their own team captain started to return the well-wishes before the mouthful of consonants continued, "And the sake of your homeworld as well." 

It was like a literal record scratch. Sure she'd known that they were playing for the fate of Myrg, and that if they defeated this invading alien force then they'd, by extension, be stopping them from invading the rest of the universe. She hadn't realized this game was directly tied to the fate of their own home planet though, and judging by everyone else's reactions neither did they. 

"Well that's just terrific." Anita groaned, "Talk about upping the stakes!" 

"Who cares? We can take these guys!" Kon answered immediately, full of all his usual confident bluster. 

Except when he hadn't been recently. When that bluster had been worried and focused on her, which had been weird. Whatever, now wasn't the time to think stupid thoughts about stupid boys who definitely didn't think about their own actions so there was no point in her thinking about it for them. Especially when they were playing a stupid baseball game to decide the fate of Myrg and now Earth. 

God, Cissie was onto something. She should've thought of Wonder Woman when that alien had asked, Diana would know what to do. Not that she didn't want Cissie here, she always wanted Cissie with her but, ugh, she really needed to focus back in. 

"... We out think them. We out play them." Robin was giving what was surely an inspiring speech, "We get out there and we win. Simple as that." 

Cassie could see an obvious problem with that plan though, "What if they cheat?" She asked, because really, with alien colonizers was that really off the table? 

"Then we cheat back." Doiby shrugged, like it was that simple. "And we do it better." 

It never was. Cassie had learned a long time ago that things with Young Justice were never that simple. 

"I'm starting to like the way this geezer thinks." Lobo said, pointing at Doiby with a grin that promised bloodshed at the first opportunity. 

No one seemed to know how to add to that, so they just moved on as smoothly as they could. Robin giving them all their field positions before there was a whistle and they were all jogging out to take those positions. 

Cassie felt her heart rate and adrenaline level out after Bart's first couple pitches. As it turned out, these guys clearly hadn't been prepared for the ball to be pitched to them faster than the speed of light. Maybe they really did stand a chance. 

She let herself edge closer to where Cissie was also standing in the outfield. "At this rate, this could be a pretty dull game." She said. 

It was a total jinx, but she'd needed some sort of an ice breaker. She always hated when Cissie was mad at her, and she was more than happy to take this chance to start chipping away at her best friend's anger. 

"Baseball. Dull. Who would've thought," Cissie replied, voice completely bland. 

"You can't stay mad at me forever, Ciss." Cassie pointed out, making sure to keep an eye on the pitch just in case. 

"You just go right on telling yourself that." Cissie scoffed. 

Then Bart was striking out the third alien up to bat and they were jogging in from the outfield. Bart proved himself to be the real MVP as he got a home run by bunting the ball on his first hit. 

Soon enough it was Cassie's own turn at bat and she poured all of her Wonder Girl patented strength into knocking it right out of the park. Superboy and Lobo managed the same, so they were in pretty great shape by the time the rest of their team went up to bat. 

That was when she realized that they probably should've explained the game better to Secret, who just stood there not even holding the right end of the bat. 

Whatever, it was fine. They were several points up anyway. 

Cissie, to her credit, held the right end of the bat and swung properly and everything. She just... didn't actually hit the ball. 

"I hate this game!" She exclaimed as she stomped her way back to the dugout after being struck out. 

Cassie knew better than to approach her friend and try to comfort her now, so she instead focused on the game. Not that there was much else happening other than Doiby taking his turn at getting struck out. 

Then they were heading back out onto the field, and Anita made the mistake of trying to comfort a visibly frustrated Cissie. 

"You had a good swing!" She tried to reassure, "Just keep your eye on the ball and-"

"My eye is ten times sharper than yours, thank you." Cissie shot back, not even looking at Anita, "And nobody asked you." 

Christ, Cissie was really pissed. Cassie needed to fix this somehow before Cissie really upset Anita to the point where they ended up hating each other and the whole group's dynamic got messed up. 

"Fine. Forget it." Anita said, heading over towards her own position, which was really for the best until Cissie calmed down. 

Cassie loved her best friend so much, but when Cissie got mean, she got mean. Apparently Antita removing herself from Cissie's immediate vicinity wasn't enough though. 

"I can't believe you guys just let her into Young Justice just like that!" Cissie exclaimed, and Cassie was really glad that Anita was no longer in hearing range. 

Not that Cassie was entirely sure what Cissie's problem was exactly, "Why not?" She asked, hoping there might be an actual explanation to be had. 

"She's got limited experience hero-ing." Cissie started, and ok, Cassie wasn't going to get the actual explanation then. 

That didn't mean she was going to let Cissie get away with being unnecessarily mean to their new friend, "You mean like me?" 

"We don't know much about her background." Cissie continued. 

"You mean like Secret?" Cassie shot back. 

"She just showed up one day!" Cissie tried. 

"You mean like you?" Cassie pointed out. 

"Will you stop telling me what I mean!" Cissie yelled, clearly about to continue when-

"Line drive!" A voice yelled, "Heads up!" 

Cassie had just enough time to turn her attention back to the game that she hadn't realized she'd turned away from before the ball was smacking squarely into Cissie's mitt. 

The rest of the team cheered at the unintentional catch. Including Anita. Whose cheers were genuine despite Cissie snapping at her not even ten minutes ago. 

Cassie expected Cissie to cheer up after that. She knew that her best friend had never handled failure well, or feeling useless. Except, even after an awesome catch, she didn't seem to be warming up at all, and she especially didn't seem to be warming up to Anita. 

It was really odd. Cissie didn't like a lot of people, she was opinionated like that, but she also wasn't usually outright mean unless provoked, and unless Cassie had missed something then Anita hadn't provoked her. 

It was really weird. What was weirder was when they made it to the last inning, and the opposing team had started cheating to anticipate Bart's pitches so they replaced him with Cissie as pitcher, Anita was the one to give her a pep-talk. 

Sure Rob and Superboy had warmed her up a bit, that much was normal. Except when that didn't fully do the trick, Cassie was usually the one who was sent in to hype Cissie up. Not this tine though, no, this time it was Anita, and even worse, Cassie wasn't on the mound with them so she couldn't even hear what they said! 

It worked, that much was apparent after the first pitch. Whatever Anita had said worked. And Cassie had no idea what it was. 

It made her skin itch, which wasn't fair. She reigned in the awful seething feeling quickly. Anita had gotten enough flack from Cissie, she didn't need to get it from Cassie too, especially over something like being a good teammate. 

Soon enough Cissie had pitched the aliens perfect pitches just like Cassie knew she would and they'd gotten their three outs. Then it was their turn up at bat and they only had this one chance to save the game. The totally rigged game thanks to the aliens cheating with their high tech adaptive equipment but whatever. 

Cassie was up at bat, and, not to toot her own horn, but she hit it so hard it ripped through the outfielder's glove. It wasn't out of the park though, so she sprinted as fast as she could and managed to slide into second base safely. That was when things went wrong. 

She barely had time to process the pain of her fingers being stomped on and the asshole's words, something about her proper place or whatever, before Kon was floating over her and glaring at the disappearing speck over the horizon that used to be said asshole. 

"Stay back Cass, I'll handle this guy!" He was saying, which just pissed her off as much as the asshole had. 

"You'll- Kon, it's ok! It's not your fight!" She tried, cause maybe he'd thought she was really hurt or something? That was the only way his behavior made sense. 

"I said I'll handle it!" Kon ground out, and nope, apparently he was just off his fucking rocker cause there was no way he was treating her like some freaking damsel instead of his teammate, "Just stay down and leave everything to m-"

Just then Kon disappeared in a ray of blue light, which may have been a kinder fate than what she was about to do to him. Not that she wanted him gone for good or anything, a quick glance at the dugout proved that that wasn't the case though, so she was more than happy to continue seething at the indignity. She didn't need superhearing to know he was being chewed out by their teammates either, good, let them warm him up for her. 

Cassie's anger didn't hold though, not when Secret and Cissie both struck out after that. Not when they really needed her to make it back to home plate for the sake of their home. She was practically vibrating as Doiby took the plate, readying his bat. She prayed to all the gods she could think of for a miracle, and she got one. 

Doiby hit the ball so hard it embedded itself in the scoreboard. 

She ran home with excitement and relief basically exploding out of her chest. They'd done it! They'd actually won the highest stakes baseball game ever! She hoisted Doiby up alongside Kon as they were swept up in a cheering crowd. Holy Hera, Cassie could literally fly and yet she'd never felt as on top of the world as she did now!

Then they were being accused of cheating, which was totally unfair considering they'd all played with their natural abilities compared to the aliens who had put on high-tech adapting visors and gloves and stuff partway through the game when they realized they were losing. Not that that seemed to matter when all the sudden the alien team captain was pulling, like, twenty different guns on them. 

Lobo solved that problem pretty quickly when he just freaking vaporized the guy with a bomb that had the message 'you've been fragged' on it. 

Then Robin and Lobo were having it out about how Lobo shouldn't kill people. 

"It's not killing it's fragging!" Lobo pointed out, and Rob looked about ready to wring his neck. 

"There's no difference!" Robin shouted. 

Kon looked about ready to have an aneurysm as he tried to corral Robin away from Lobo in an attempt to stop the fight from getting physical. It was like the seventh time today Rob had lost his shit at either Lobo or Bart or Doiby. She idly wondered what the hell his deal was, but ultimately decided to let the boys figure their own shit out. 

Besides, if Kon wanted to be weirdly overprotective then she was more than happy to have him focus that energy at Rob instead of her. 

"Hey, since we won, can we be cool again?" She asked, bumping shoulders with Cissie and hoping that now that the stress of the situation was dissipating she had a better shot. 

Cissie sighed, "Yeah. Fine." She agreed, "I'm bad at staying mad at you anyway. Sorry for being so pissy." 

Cassie beamed at her, wrapping her up in a quick hug, that her friend returned. Though she noted that Cissie didn't apologize or even seem to glance at Anita who was standing well within ear shot. 

Huh, maybe there was something going on there? She'd have to figure that out. 

It was when she'd opened her mouth to ask a probing question when all the sudden the Supercycle came crashing onto the pitch. Then, so fast it was like it was happening between blinks they were all leaping into the Supercycle before it ran away again. Anita and Lobo following on his own ride. 

"I knew it was acting weird before!" Robin was saying, though none of them were paying him too much attention. 

Cassie watched as a new button appeared on the dash, "Hey what's that?" She asked pointing to the big red button that read 'push me'.

"Oh, ok." Bart said. 

"No! Impulse! Not ok!" Robin tried, but there was no stopping the events already in motion, "Don't push th-"

Bart pushed the button. 

There was suddenly an orangey yellow glow all around them and then they were being spat out on the kind of grassy plain you'd imagine seeing on an African safari brochure. 

"Where are we?" Cassie asked, once they'd all gotten their moaning and groaning after the impact out of the way.

"New Genesis!" Kon answered brightly, though she had no idea how he knew, "Gods live here!" 

"Gods? You mean this is like Olympus or something?!" She asked excitedly, after all Olympus had been super cool. 

"Yeah, except it's a whole planet," Kon spread his arms wide, equally as excited, "stead of just a mountain." 

The others seemed to be exploring their immediate surroundings, not that she paid them much attention until Bart called out, "Hey check that out, it's got a pal!" 

Sure enough, there was a second Supercycle. 

"Not only that, it's got an owner!" Robin called, less excited and more worried than Bart had been as he pointed at a group of what must have been Gods across the plain. 

Cassie didn't get long to appreciate how crazy the whole situation was before Lobo started a fight. Thankfully, the rest of the Gods didn't hold it against them and they instead all just chatted as Lobo and some lion God duked it out. 

Then Bart was yelling for them to check something out and then immediately got flung into the air by the Supercycle. Thankfully Kon was there to catch him almost immediately before setting him gently back on the ground. 

"Thanks! I dunno what happened! One minute they were kinda nuzzling each other and then-"

"Nuzzling?" Kon asked, exchanging a look with her and Robin. Now that she looked at the two vehicles, nuzzling wasn't exactly the word she'd use to describe what they were doing. 

The odds that Bart didn't know what sex was had just increased, and judging by the expressions on Robin and Superboy's faces they knew it too. 

"What kinda vehicles are these anyway?" Kon asked the question they probably should've asked a long time ago. 

That was when one of the Gods piped up to explain that they were sentient vehicles, which they'd already figured out. Then that the technology on this planet lives in symbiosis with the Gods and that they were capable of learning and growing, which they had not known. 

It was then that they all made the mistake of attempting to ride their respective supercycles. It did not go well. Empress got thrown almost immediately thanks to Lobo distracting her by hitting on her. Secret... was actually nowhere to be found, and Cassie hadn't seen her in a while actually. 

Which was something to worry about when she was not in immediate mortal peril thanks to the sky suddenly being full of green and gold flying guys. 

They all got thrown off their cycles then and Cassie just managed to catch Bart. Looking around to make sure Superboy had grabbed Robin, which he had. Cassie winced at the way Kon's hands were wrapped around Robin's ribcage instead of having caught him under the arms or something like that, she could only imagine how much being carried by your ribs would hurt and likely bruise. Then she remembered that Kon wasn't physically carrying Robin by the rib cage, that was just where he was touching him and his TTK was doing the rest of the work. Still an odd hand placement, but stuff like that happened in the heat of battle so she didn't bother thinking about it too much. 

"I think they're, uh, making out?" Rob said with a grimace as they touched down on the ground and turned to see the two cycles engaged in what was visibly the vehicular version of intercourse. 

Everything got even crazier than before very quickly after that. One minute the supercycles had turned into one supercycle that was shooting lasers at them, and Kon was jumping in front of a laser for her, which was crazy and unnecessary but she didn't have time to chew him out right now. The next thing she knew they were trying to summon someone called the infinity man, who possessed Impulse somehow. 

Infinity/Impulse was actually a pretty effective fighter. Effective enough that Robin had time to yell at Lobo for using one of the lasers to light a cigar. Then Lobo got shot with one of the lasers and the problem was suddenly over because Lobo punched the merged Supercycles over the horizon line. Then he punched the Infinity man clean out of Bart, who was just enthused at all the excitement. 

They could still see whatever weird version of a horizontal tango the Supercycles had going on up in the sky, and it was getting brighter too. At which point the Gods warned them to shield their eyes, which they did. 

Well, Kon did more than shield his eyes, he grabbed Cassie and shielded her whole body. They'd definitely be having a talk later. 

Then there was a third baby Supercycle, which was too weird to even think about, but also the little baby was pretty cute. 

Maybe they wouldn't have to worry about Bart's understanding of Sex Ed now. After all, he'd just gotten a pretty solid demonstration of both the act and the after effects. 

She didn't have time to really think about that though because then Secret was emerging from the nearby woods and introducing them to her new friend Doug Side. Who was definitely just fucking Darkseid, one of the worst most evil villains ever. 

Cassie had had enough of today, at this point. That was for sure, and she could tell Robin had too. Between the two of them they managed to round everyone up onto the Supercycle and head out. 

She was ready to go back to dealing with what was going on with Cissie and Anita instead of whatever all that bullshit was, that was for sure. 

And if she took an extra couple seconds to pick up a cool looking plant for Cissie before they left in the hopes to score some best friend brownie points then that was no one’s business but her own. 

....................................................

Tim wished he could tell people his name. Well, not everyone. A select few though. Especially since it was such a fucking problem that he couldn’t. 

He couldn’t even be mad about it either, because both sides made sense. Exposing himself meant exposing Bruce and Dick to anyone who looked into it for more than five minutes, so it made sense why Bruce wouldn’t want him taking that risk with people that Bruce himself wasn’t close with. On the flip side though, he understood why it was frustrating for people when he knew everything about them, including their secret identities, and yet they didn’t even get a name from him. The reciprocity just wasn’t there, and he didn’t know how to fix that without just telling them his name, and the longer he went without doing that the more the distrust grew. Which really sucked when it came to having things like teammates and girlfriends. 

Steph was the one currently giving him grief about it, going so far as to attempt following him over the Gotham rooftops and presumably back to his home so she could figure it out. He was going back to the entrance of the batcave, so she wouldn’t have figured it out even if she’d succeeded, but Batman probably didn’t want her knowing where that was either. 

She insisted that it was fine, that she understood, and he knew that conceptually she did. That didn’t make her feel any better about it though, and he couldn’t even blame her. He was prepared for that whole mess, or at least he’d grown used to it. 

What he was not prepared for was for Kon to tell him over the comms that Secret wasn’t back at their base and was, in fact, in Gotham. He was even less prepared to find Secret attacking Spoiler. 

He called in Red Tornado. Not really sure what else to do seeing as Secret seemed to have gone completely off the rails. 

He wasn’t oblivious to Secret’s feelings for him, but he didn’t return them. No matter how much he valued her friendship or cared about her it just wasn’t like that. She’d never made a move either, so he’d just been letting things continue as they had been. Maybe that hadn’t been the right move though if it led to her attacking his… well he wasn’t entirely sure if Steph was his girlfriend or if she even could be with all his secrets, but she was definitely somewhere in that category. 

Thankfully Red Tornado showed up very quickly and put Secret into a spin cycle until she calmed down before spitting her back out. 

“Guys, what it comes down to is trust.” He sighed, arms across his chest as he looked down at where Secret and Spoiler were sitting next to each other across the beam, “I don’t want to come across as if I’m lecturing you-”

“He says while lecturing us.” Spoiler snapped back, as snarky as ever.

“Be quiet.” Secret snapped at her. 

“You be quiet!” Spoiler growled at her. 

“Both of you be quiet.” Red Tornado cut in before another fight could break out. 

He went on to try and explain for what felt like the millionth time this year alone how he couldn’t trust them without violating Batman’s trust in him. How it really wasn’t about how much he trusted them at all. It was an old and tired argument, one he was getting sick of repeating. 

He eventually got them to shake hands and call it a night, and pretended not the see that both of them had their fingers crossed behind their backs when they promised to get along. He knew better than to try and address that if he wanted to sleep tonight. Besides, Secret hopefully knew better than to try coming back to Gotham again, hopefully. 

So he finished his patrol without much more happening other than a mugger and someone trying to steal from an ATM. All in all, the rest of the patrol made up for the shitstorm that was the first half. 

Soon enough he was crawling back through his window and collapsing into bed. The sounds of the empty mansion around him as creepy as ever, but there was nothing to be done for that. There was never anything to be done about that. 

Usually it wasn’t even so bad, it was just that, well, maybe a small part of him had gotten used to staying with the others. Even if they were all spread out across the huge hotel, and there was nothing way he could hear the sounds of them sleeping or whatever when they were in a whole other wing. He could still swear the air felt different when he wasn’t the only one breathing it. Plus, well, sharing a bed with Kon had been nice. Once he’d actually relaxed about the whole situation enough to fall asleep he’d slept better than he ever had. 

Now, after the action packed week he’d had where he’d never even had a moment alone the whole time, it felt weird all the sudden having so much space to himself. It made him feel restless and twitchy in the way it only ever did on his worst nights alone here. He needed… something. He needed to- to do something. He couldn’t control his house being empty, but he could find something else to fix or do until he wore himself out at least. 

He rolled over onto his side and spotted his still unpacked duffel. The duffle with the square lump in it. 

He sat up, reaching down and unzipping the duffel and pulling out the binder with his and Kon’s arrangement details in it. Then he made his way over to the computer at his desk. Powering it on and getting to work on some forms. This, he could do. 

—————————————-

“Ok so this is way more awkward than it was last time.” Kon pointed out. 

Tim couldn’t help but groan in frustration, “I’m trying I swear.” He wanted to bang his head into the wall.

Kon’s hand squeezed around his, “No that’s not what I’m saying.” He said, “What I mean is, isn’t doing this stuff supposed to be, like, relaxing?” 

Tim shrugged, “I mean, that seems to be the general consensus.” 

“Right,” Kon nodded, “So maybe the problem is that we’re just sitting here super stiffly and staring at the wall while we try working our way through the list.” 

They were on hand holding, which Tim had to admit he hadn’t minded when they were doing it last time. Sure he’d been focused on the mission too much to really decide how much he enjoyed it, but still. It’d been better than it was now. 

Kon was probably onto something though, “Right so how do you propose we relax? Watch a movie instead of the wall?” 

Kon nodded, “Yeah, that’ll probably help. We’ll just pause it every ten minutes and assess and switch like we’d planned.”

Tim hadn’t really been serious, but it was worth a try. 

“What do you wanna watch? I’ve got reruns of the Superboy show, Armageddon, Psycho, some flick about vampire chicks,” Kon said, flipping through his DVD cases, “Oh! Actually never mind, I know exactly what we’re watching!” Kon turned to him with a shit-eating grin before moving his body to block Tim’s view of the DVD player. 

Kon stuck the DVD in before leaping back onto the bed and crawling so he was sitting back against the headboard and the pillows as opposed to where they’d both just been sitting on the edge holding hands and staring at the wall. Ok, in hindsight Tim could really see how their previous positioning had not lended itself to relaxation. 

Tim grabbed the binder and pens and scooted back to sit against the headboard next to Kon. The movie started playing and Tim couldn’t help but groan when he realized what Kon had put on. 

“Seriously? You know we played baseball, not basketball right?” He pointed out, gesturing at the TV. 

Kon just laugh, “Close enough, besides Space Jan is a classic!” He grinned at Robin, holding out a hand palm up and wiggling his fingers, “Ready to try again?” 

Tim rolled his eyes fondly and grabbed Kon’s hand, letting it rest on the mattress between them. He had to admit as they watched the first few scenes in the movie, this was a lot better. Admittedly, it wasn’t exactly perfect, but that was just because being in a bed alone and this close to Kon just made him want to be closer. Holding hands was still nice though, and he could see it being ideal for when they couldn’t be that close like if it was ever just the two of them driving a car maybe? 

When the timer went off and they both let go Tim made sure to make a note of that in the notes box by ‘hand holding’. He figured at this rate they should be done with all of their testing in about a weeks time, provided there were no more big missions that distracted them. 

“You done?” Kon asked after a minute, and Tim nodded. 

“Yeah, now we’re doing ‘arm around shoulder’.” he read off their list, “Do you want to be ‘arm’ or ‘shoulder’ first?” 

Kon snickered, “You’re so official about this.” He said when Tim raised an eyebrow, and when he kept his eyebrow raised Kon rolled his eyes fondly, “Whatever, I’ll be shoulder first.” 

Tim nodded at that, setting his forms face-down on the bed, then reset the timer for ten minutes as Kon hit play on the movie. He reached an arm up, trying to wrap it around Kon’s shoulder but the angle wasn’t quite comfortable. That was when he realized that Kon was sitting up as straight as possible to emphasize their height difference and was suppressing his laughs. 

“Asshole.” He muttered, elbowing Kon in the ribs to make him hunch over and now he was suppressing his own laughter as he pulled Kon against him. 

“Come on, it was funny.” Kon snickered some more and Robin couldn’t help the grin turning up the corners of his lips. 

“Just watch your stupid cartoon.” Robin told him, pulling Kon a bit tighter into his side. 

Kon settled his weight against him, and he had to admit that it felt really nice. Tim was so often cold in his life, how could he not be coming from Gotham and all? But he couldn’t even imagine being cold when he had Kon pressed up against him like this, all warm and solid. 

Too soon the timer was going off, but that was ok because they didn’t have to break away to fill out their forms yet, they just had to switch positions. It was the easiest way to make sure they got a balanced experience with each form of touch. 

Tim pulled his arm back, and before he could even really miss the contact Kon’s arm was tight around his own shoulders and pulling Tim against his side. This felt really good too actually. To be fair, none of the forms of contact they’d tried so far had felt bad, but he still always managed to be surprised by them feeling so good. 

Kon’s hand rubbed absent mindedly against Tim’s shoulder and the area where it met his chest, and he couldn’t possibly have helped the way that just made him melt. Not that Kon seemed to really notice thankfully. This was already such a vulnerable position to be in, he wasn’t sure he could stand it if Kon understood the kind of power he had over him with this. 

Tim felt himself start to drift off against Kon’s side. He felt so warm even without any blankets, it was crazy. Kon must have some sort of extra super power or something, Tim figured as he let his head drop against Kon’s shoulder, something that made him awesome to cuddle with. God, he was really glad Kon had made that proposal. 

Chapter Text

They were on the last item on their list. The last item. 

Stomach rubs. 

It was last for a reason. Robin had reasoned that they would be more likely to give it a fair chance if they'd gotten more comfortable with touch first. Which was fair, Kon definitely wouldn't let just anyone try this, but at this point he was pretty sure he was more physically comfortable with Robin than he had ever been with anyone ever, even Ta-

Nope nopenopenopenopnenope! No. He ripped that thought straight out of his brain. He didn't get to think about her anymore, not after he got her killed and he especially didn't get to think of her in anything even resembling a negative light. 

"Hey, what're you scowling about?" Robin asked, watching him curiously, "You were fine just a second ago." 

Kon jolted out of his thoughts, turning a bright grin on his friend, "Nothing, I just got distracted for a second there. You ready to finish the list?" 

Robin squinted for a second, like he didn't quite believe Kon, which was fair since he was totally actively burying things in the depths of his mind but whatever. Robin let it go though, thankfully, otherwise all of Kon's burying would've gone to waste.

"So how exactly does this go?" Robin asked, staring at Kon's original notes like they would give him answers that hadn't been given the first million times he'd studied them, "I'm going to be honest, I still can't stop picturing a dog." 

Kon rolled his eyes, "Cissie swore by it!" He defended for the millionth time, "It's not just for dogs." 

Robin held his hands up in mock surrender with a small grin, "Alright, alright, I already said we'd give it a try. I don't know why you're so excited about this one." 

"Uh, if you'd heard the way Cissie was talking about missing it then you'd be pretty interested in giving it a shot too." He said, which was what he'd been saying ever since he'd proposed it. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Robin said, going back to rereading Kon's notes for the millionth time, "That still doesn't tell me how exactly we do this one." 

Kon considered that. He'd tried to take decent notes, but as he'd learned during his brief stint in high school, he was a pretty bad note taker. He remembered what Cissie had said about it in detail though, it'd been pretty hard to forget actually ever since Cissie had mentioned it months ago and it'd burned itself into his mind. He really wasn't sure what his fascination was with it. He knew it was in part because Cissie really had talked highly of it, but part of his interest was something else. Probably that same part of him that was located somewhere deep down in his chest and was the part that'd convinced him to make this whole friends with benefits proposal in the first place. 

"Take off your shirt. I'm gonna do you first." He decided, figuring this was probably the best way to do it. "I remember how Cissie described it and stuff so I probably have a better idea of what we're supposed to do. This way I can show you how to do it." 

Robin nodded, like what Kon had said made sense, which it did. He still looked hesitant though. 

"Hey," he said, softening his voice a bit, "We don't have to do this, I swear I won't be, like, upset with you or anything if you back out. I really don't want you crossing any boundaries you aren't ok with crossing." 

Neither of them could really say that they didn't want to make the other cross any boundaries at all, because realistically this whole arrangement had them crossing a bunch of boundaries with each other. The specific wording in the contract Robin had written stated that they weren't going to pressure the other or themselves into crossing boundaries they weren't ok with crossing, and Kon had taken that particular wording to heart. 

"No, I know. I just-" Robin's lips thinned as he pressed them together worriedly, "I just might not like it is all." 

Kon let out a breath of relief at that, because this was easy enough to address, "That's what the forms are for dummy, you literally made them so we could rate what we liked and didn't like. It's ok if you don't like it, finding that out is literally the whole point of what we're doing now." 

Robin nodded at that, and seemingly having no other concerns pulled his shirt off. "How, uh, how do you want me?" He gestured awkwardly to himself and then the bed in front of Kon. 

He considered that for a moment before he scooted back so he was settled against the headboard with the pillows on either side of him, "Come here." He held out a hand for Robin who took it and then used his TTK to maneuver his friend so he was laying stomach up across his lap. "Here, lift your head." He instructed, sliding a pillow under Robin's head and shoulders so his spine wasn't arched uncomfortably. 

"This feels weird." Rob said, even as he set the timer for ten minutes. 

Kon could tell that much judging by how incredibly tense Robin was. It was almost as bad as it was before they'd even fake dated. He needed to get him to calm the heck down if this had even a chance of working. 

"Yeah, tell me about it." Kon said, attempting to break the tension with a joke, "I mean seriously dude, I already know you're strong, no need to flex your abs at me." 

That did get Robin to let out an amused snort and relax his muscles at least enough for his abs to not be actively clenching. Well, alright then, Kon wasn't going to get more of an invitation than this. 

He placed an open palm high on Robin's stomach, up where his ribs started fusing with his breastbone. Robin jolted at the contact and Kon waited for him to relax his muscles again before he let his hand rub all the way down to just slightly below Rob's belly button. 

He didn't want to go any lower than that because, even if it was above Robin's pants line, that still felt kinda gay. 

He repeated the motion, up and down, a couple times before he branched out a bit, putting a bit more pressure on his thumb and then rubbing it along the lines of Robin's muscles. Cissie had said it was like a massage but softer because there was no bone underneath the skin here, just squishy organs, but it still felt good on the ab muscles, so he did his best to approach it that way. 

They all knew how to deal with sore muscles, how to rub them, stretch them, or roll them out. It was just part of the superhero/vigilante lifestyle, so it wasn't too hard to figure out how to do it properly on a stomach. It honestly wasn't even as weird as he expected it to be. Although, to be fair, that may have been because any awkwardness that he'd expected to feel was overshadowed by the fact that Kon now had an entirely uninhibited view of Robin's scars. 

It wasn't a surprise. It couldn't be a surprise when he'd seen Robin shirtless multiple times before. When he'd been there to watch him get some of these scars. Most recently the pink lines methodically placed under Robin's collarbone. 

It was just that, even during the pollen, and when Robin had gotten those recent scars. There's been something else going on, something that drew Kon's focus. That wasn't the case now though, it couldn't be when Robin was literally laying out across his lap baring his front to Kon for him to both look at and touch. It was a very intimate position actually, more intimate of a position than Kon had maybe ever been in truthfully. 

That was why he wasn't in the least bit surprised that Robin called it quits around the four minute mark. 

He had figured that the odds of Robin not finishing this one out were about 70/30. The thirty percent accounting for the fact that Robin might actually like it since it was basically just rubbing at his skin. Kon hadn't drawn attention to it or the fact that he'd noticed it, because he knew better than to do so, but he wasn't stupid. He'd noticed that nothing got Rob to relax faster than rubbing at his skin. 

It made sense. He'd seen Robin rubbing at his own skin, usually his arms legs or collarbones, before, though he'd more recently assumed it was strictly linked to him being touch-starved, which couldn't possibly be the case after the week they'd just spent experimenting. Before that he'd assumed it was an anxiety tic or some sort of more subtle way of getting out energy and restlessness, like Rob's own version of Bart's heel bouncing. 

In this last week or so he'd realized what it really was, a self-soothing technique, or at least that was what it was when Rob did it to himself. Kon had noticed that when he did it, it was a pretty surefire way to get Robin to relax. It was a bit like a more involved off-switch. All he had to do was rub at Rob's arms, legs, ribs, shoulders, or collarbones and his friend would practically melt after a minute or two. So he'd figured that there was actually a decent chance that rubbing at Rob's stomach might've had a similar effect. 

It did not. It appeared that for whatever reason, likely the oddness of the sensation or the vulnerability of the position, Robin didn't like it. 

"I'm sorry." He said, sitting up and turning to face Kon, "I don't- I can't-" he tried to stumble out an explanation seeming frustrated with himself.

"Dude chill, it's fine. You didn't like it." Kon shrugged, trying his best to convey that he really wasn't, like, upset about it or whatever Rob was apologizing for, "You're all good, I swear. We literally both signed a sheet of paper saying that we wouldn't do stuff we didn't like and that we wouldn't, like, force ourselves or anything. A paper which I was happy to sign cause I agreed with it." 

Robin nodded, staring at his hands for just a second too long before looking back up at him, "No, I know. Thanks." 

Kon didn't tell him that thanking him for the bare minimum was unnecessary because he knew that would send them down a whole rabbit hole. Instead he just shrugged and let it go. 

"You wanna fill out our forms and then go over them?" He asked, already reaching for his sheet of paper. 

Robin shook his head immediately though, which surprised him, "No, you haven't had your turn yet! We aren't done." 

Kon felt his brows furrow in confusion, "Rob, you said you didn't like that one. There's nothing left to finish." 

"No, I just don't like being on that side of it. I'm not, like, opposed to trying it the other way around." Robin rushed to explain, "I uh, I want to, actually. You were excited to try this one and if you end up enjoying it and I don't end up minding being on the other side of it then we should do it." 

"Rob, dude, you're not supposed to force yourself to do something for the other person. We agreed on that." Kon said, voice steady and unwilling to back down because that had arguably been one of the most important parts of their arrangement. 

"I know, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that I didn't like being on this side of it, but I still have no opposition to trying it from the other end." He explained, which Kon supposed made sense, "If it bugs me from that end too, or if it ends up bothering you then we'll nix it entirely. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I still want to finish trying it, unless you don't want to try it the other way around?" 

There was a sudden note of unsureness at the end of that, the slightest upturn in pitch at the end of the question. It was an uneasiness that was not difficult to assure Robin about. 

"No. As long as you're good then I'm open to trying it flipped." He said, getting rid of the idea that somehow Robin had pushed him. 

"Oh, ok then yeah, let's switch spots." Robin nodded, suddenly more sure of himself as he motioned for Kon to move over.

Kon did, and soon enough Robin was the one sitting with his back against the headboard, pillows on either side of them, and he was looking at Kon expectantly where he was now kneeling in the middle of the bed. It took a minute for Kon to remember what he needed to do next, what he'd literally had Robin do less than ten minutes ago. His fingers hesitated at the hem of his T-shirt before he took it off, looking up at Robin to make sure he still looked like he was fine with this. His face looked the same as it had before so Kon figured he was and scooted himself closer so he could lay himself back across Robin's lap and the pillows. 

"Is this good?" He asked once he thought he was in the right position, feeling ridiculously nervous. 

It was really vulnerable. He'd known in concept that it was a couple minutes ago when Robin had been the one in his lap, but in reality it was way more vulnerable now that he was the one doing it. He felt painfully awkward too, which was ridiculous considering Robin was now someone that he had spooned before, in both positions, someone he'd let pet his hair and scratch his scalp, and even more so someone he constantly risked his life alongside. There were no better hands to place himself, completely vulnerable or not, into. 

"Yeah, as long as you're comfy in that position?" Robin asked, looking a bit nervous, but the kind of nervous he got when he worried that he wasn't doing something properly. 

"Yeah, no, super comfy." Kon nodded, letting his head drop back onto the pillow. 

It was sort of true, he was as comfortable as he could be in such a vulnerable position. Although, as he was reminding himself, despite the actual positioning being vulnerable, Kon still had his TTK and was effectively invulnerable so he wasn't truly vulnerable. 

"Mmmm, what was that you said to me about not needing to flex." Robin pointed out, jabbing a finger lightly into his side. "You sure you still want to try this?" 

Kon nodded, forcing all the muscles in his body to relax, "Yeah, I do. Sorry, this is just kind of an awkward position. I mean, like, what do I even do with my hands?" 

Robin laughed lightly at that, the sound enough to make Kon relax a bit more, "Do whatever feels comfortable with them, so long as you aren't trying to poke my eyes out or something then I won't care." 

Kon considered his options for a moment before letting the closest arm wrap around Robin's back, hand coming up to rest around his lower ribs as it tended to do nowadays. He let the other one just rest at his side, feeling better now that at least one hand was occupied. 

"You alright for me to start?" Robin asked, seeming entirely unbothered by Kon's new hand placement. 

Not that he was ever bothered by Kon's hand placements nowadays, a couple minutes ago not withstanding. Actually, Kon would go so far as to say that Robin wasn't just unbothered by his hand placement but was actually pleased with it. 

He nodded, obviously not voicing any of his internal monologue. Just cause Robin was at the point where he could sometimes not seem bothered by physical contact didn't mean he was comfortable enough with it, and more importantly comfortable enough with the idea that physical contact was something he both wanted and needed, to hear Kon teasing him about liking it without immediately getting defensive. 

To be fair, Kon wasn't really ready to be teased about it either, even if he could admit his own wants and needs to himself in his head. 

Robin's hand was a bit cold when it was placed high on his stomach, the same place Kon had placed his own hand on Robin's at the start. Robin's hands, and frequently the rest of him were usually a bit cold unless there was some reason for them to not be. Kon couldn't quite figure out if it was because he himself ran hot, Robin was just that much of a born and raised Gothamite, or some secret third reason. Either way, it was, because he ran so warm, usually a pleasant feeling to have Robin's cooler skin against his once he had a moment or two to acclimate to the temperature difference. This was no exception. 

Actually the whole thing seemed to be a matter of acclimation because that first minute it felt awkward and Kon was barely able to keep tension out of his body. By the time they'd reached the second minute, Robin seemed to get the hang of it on his end and having him feeling more sure of himself was enough to relax Kon. By the time they were on minute four it felt freaking amazing. 

Cissie was dead right about this. That was all Kon could think as he literally melted, closing his eyes and just enjoying the sensations. It felt so nice, so relaxing. Kon didn't usually get sore unless he was exhausted, not the way he knew normal humans did, but he still felt like there was soreness and tension leaving his body anyway. 

That made sense though, he'd known that Robin had clever little fingers for a long time, he would have to in order to pick that many locks so well. Plus he'd known that Robin was very capable of using that to make physical touch extra good ever since the original hair petting incident during his round with the pollen, so it made sense for it to apply to this too. Robin was always so sure that he was unskilled in physical touch, but Kon was pretty sure he was secretly a natural.

It wasn't just Robin's skill that made it so good though, there was more to it even though Kon didn't know how to explain it. It was almost as if the vulnerability that had initially made it uncomfortable was now what was making it feel so good. Like, if 'high risk high reward' were to take the shape of physical affection it would be this, but also at the same time it felt like this was the embodiment of trust in the form of physical affection. It didn't make much sense to him, no matter how hard he tried to reason it out in his mind so he gave up, instead just enjoying it while it lasted. 

Way too soon the timer was going off and Kon was groaning in disappointment. Robin laughed at him and Kon cracked an eye open to glare playfully at him. 

"Worth trying?" Robin asked, brow arched playfully. 

Kon nodded, "You have a talent Rob, that's for sure." 

Robin rolled his eyes and scoffed, though there was a pleased tilt to his lips, "Hey, remember what we talked about after hair pets." 

Kon groaned again, this time louder and more dramatically before parroting back, "No skewing  your sample by proffering positive reinforcement before we've documented our individual observations. Yeah yeah, I heard you the first time." 

Robin looked amused while pretending to be stern as he poked Kon in the ribs, "Then why'd I have to remind you?" 

Kon didn't really have a reply to that so he just stuck his tongue out, which made Robin laugh so he was gonna go ahead and say he won that conversation. 

"Whatever you loser," Robin said, pushing at Kon's torso enough to roll him off his lap so now he was on his stomach on the bed, "Go do your rating and notes so we can finally compile data." 

It was truly a testament to how weird Robin was that he was still so dedicated to the scientific approach to their arrangement. Not that Kon minded, it was honestly funny at this point, plus it made Rob more comfortable with it. 

Kon reached for his pen and his sheets of paper and the binder to write on as he didn't even move to sit up. Instead he just started writing. A few seconds in he felt paper settle against his back and the soft scratch of something and he realized Ron was using his back to write on. It felt kind of nice actually, but then again Robin touching him in pretty much any way at this point felt at least kinda nice so that wasn't really a revelation. He made sure to keep his breathing even so he didn't interrupt Robin's pen flow or whatever though. 

Soon enough Kon was finished, and a little while later he felt Robin finish. He sat up then, and turned to sit facing Robin, a bit regretful at the distance, but it had to be done for now. 

"Tradsies?" He asked, holding his paper out to Robin who huffed a small laugh and handed his own paper over. 

Kon immediately started pouring over it. True to form, Robin's forms were filled out as professionally and scientifically as it would be possible to fill out forms about negotiated physical affection. It was amusing actually. 

There weren't really any surprises in Robin's forms, it was kind of hard to hide from each other whether or not they liked something. He'd already clocked the fact that rubbing at Rob's skin was appreciated so there were no surprises there. Honestly there wasn't really anything that'd been rated poorly with the exception of him being on the receiving end of the stomach rub. Kon was pleased to note though that Robin had rated being the one giving the stomach rub well and had put in the notes that he was 'amenable to performing stomach rubs but not to receiving them.' 

Kon also noted that Robin had a slight preference to being the hugee instead of the hugger in any kind of hug or cuddle position, with the exception of the 'laying on top' position or what Kon had dubbed the 'irl weighted blanket' where Robin actually preferred being the one on the bottom and holding Kon. He imagined that one had something to do with Robin liking weighted blankets. 

Robin had rated both positions highly, it was unlikely that he'd always want to be the hugee, it really did seem like it was only a slight preference. It matched up with what Kon had sensed when they were trying all the different positions out too so it wasn't a surprise. It was a nice confirmation though, especially since it aligned with his own slight preference to usually be the hugger. He liked both, he definitely liked both, and he wasn't sure why he had that preference, probably something to do with the fact that he didn't like being contained. Not that hugging or cuddling was anything like containment, because it definitely wasn't and he really had liked both positions. Still, if he had to take a guess at what went on in his psyche he'd probably guess something like that. 

Robin wasn't like that though. Once upon a time Kon had thought Robin would probably have a thing about being restrained given how frequently it happened and that he didn't have superpowers to just effortlessly bust himself out. That idea of Robin had shattered when he realized that, even without super powers, restraints never seemed to hold Robin unless he was allowing them too. Kon imagined it was a little hard to be freaked out about being restrained when no one ever seemed to be able to effectively restrain him. 

The sound of Robin snickering broke him out of the distracted thought spiral he'd gone down. His head snapped up at the sound, surprised cause he hadn't thought there was anything in his forms to laugh about. 

"What is it?" He asked, painfully curious at the genuine and poorly restrained amusement dancing in Robin's eyes. 

Robin shook his head, "Nothing important, it's just, well, Kon, dude, writing 'not all the time, but maybe as a treat sometimes' in your notes for stomach rubs is really not helping with the dog treatment allegations." 

Kon felt himself blush at that and buried his face in his hands and groaned, "That's not what I meant." He whined, even though having it read aloud made it sound pretty damning. 

Robin laughed at his reaction, though it wasn't a mean laugh, "No I know. I understood what you meant. The wording was just funny anyway." 

Kon let himself flop forward so his head landed squarely in Robin's lap as he looked up at the other boy and pouted, "You're so mean to me. I think I deserve a reward for putting up with it." 

Robin laughed even harder at that for a moment before shoving him off lightly. "Nope, we have to compare and negotiate now." He informed him, "Once we finish, I'll give you hair pets before we go to bed." 

Kon took the win and sat up, magnanimously ignoring how amused Robin looked at that reaction. Robin could laugh all he wanted, but with hair pets on the table Kon was now locked in. Plus, it'd be nice to be done with all the experimentation and negotiations and stuff and just be able to enjoy the fruits of their labor. 

.............................................

Once they'd finished all their negotiations that night, the awkwardness didn't entirely go away. While they were closer than before, it wasn't like they were suddenly attached at the hip overnight. Actually, Tim imagined that the others likely didn't notice that anything about his and Kon's relationship had changed at all. How could they when everything was kept strictly behind closed doors?

It wasn't exactly easy to enact either, even behind closed doors. Before, they'd had agreed upon meetings for experimenting and negotiation or outside circumstances pushing them together. Now, if they wanted to act on their arrangement one of them would actually have to go to the other and admit that they could use a hug. 

That was admittedly daunting for both of them. So it made sense that the first times their arrangement was acted upon it was because one of them noticed that the other needed it and offered. 

The first time that their arrangement was acted on for Kon's sake it was because of the chef/nutritionist. 

Essentially, Red Tornado had gone to the Justice League to get approval and funding to hire a chef/nutritionist for Young Justice. He'd cited their exorbitant pizza budget alone as reason why a group of teenagers should not be responsible for ensuring their own nutrition needs were met properly. Tim thought that the pizza budget was an unfair argument to use since part of the reason it was so high was because half of their team had super metabolisms. Red Tornado had dismissed that argument though, and the JL had pretty much immediately agreed to the Red Tornado's request so the whole point was moot. 

They had all been unhappy about it for a number of reasons. One being that now they'd need to stay in costume any time the nutritionist/chef was around which was most of the time. Plus, the guy Red Tornado had found was some guy from the military so he was probably going to be an asshole whose idea of nutrition was freaking gruel or something. Plus, this was another person that they'd be giving sensitive information to like the requirements of their various metabolisms and any allergies, which Tim really didn't love, even if the Justice League, including Bruce himself, had checked this guy out. 

Red Tornado had made them promise to at least try it for a couple of weeks though and at the end of the month they'd assess and decide if they should continue. Needless to say, they weren't happy about it, but they'd agreed even if their arms had been twisted a bit. 

The thing was, it turned out that Colonel Brenner could actually cook, like, really cook. He was like the American version of Alfred. The food was healthy, and, from what Tim could tell, well-balanced nutritionally, and it tasted amazing. He had taken to the challenge of feeding multiple teenagers with super metabolisms like a duck to water too. Plus, the guy was kind of cool, he was a stickler for an orderly kitchen and very professional, but he didn't come in acting like a drill sergeant the way they'd expected him to. He had interesting stories if asked and he wasn't ever unkind to any of them. He was pretty uptight about their diets in that he cared what they ate, but he didn't try portion controlling them and they were allowed to ask for a snack whenever they wanted. Plus he didn't care how they ate, and he never said a word if they weren't using proper manners at meal times. 

Overall, Tim didn't mind it, and neither did the rest of the team. At least, not at first. 

A couple days after Colonel Brenner had showed up Kon had started acting a bit irritable. It wasn't super noticeable at first, but after two more days of him growing increasingly irritable everyone knew something was up. 

Tim, at that point, asked him what had crawled up his butt, not yet having realized that Kon's irritation was linked to Brenner. Kon had not given him an answer, and Tim hadn't pressed it because he was pretty sure that Kon didn't know what was irritating him either. Whatever, sometimes people just got irritated. 

Over the next two weeks it got worse. Tim wasn't around to see most of it since he was in and out of Gotham for it, but the others kept him updated on what had been going on while he was away. Mainly, they'd been telling him about how it was abundantly clear that, whatever Kon's issue was, it was related to Brenner. Not that anyone could figure out exactly what that issue was. 

"Ok, so tell me again what happened?" Tim asked Cassie as they took the Supercycle over Manhattan on their way back to base after a quick mission. 

It had been just the two of them since itd been a break-in and grab important info mission instead of a fighting one. Fortunately that gave them the chance to debrief about what Tim had missed while in Gotham, specifically in regard to Kon's beef with Brenner at the moment. 

"So me, Bart, Kon, and Lobo had all been on this mission fighting these robot things all day. So by the time we got back we were beat and starving, ya know? Brenner was in the kitchen cooking and he said he'd seen us all on the news fighting hard and thought we deserved a bit of a reward after all that, and we'd all been talking all week about how much we wanted pizza, so he made us all pizza." Cassie was explaining, hands gesturing emphatically and a hint of frustration in her voice, "Which was really nice of him! It had Cauliflower in the crust and stuff, but I swear Rob the guy is a culinary genius cause it tasted amazing! Not that Kon would even know cause as soon as Brenner had said he'd made pizzas Kon flipped out! He started yelling at Brenner and told him he could shove his pizzas where the sun don't shine and all that. Seriously Rob, I haven't got a clue what his issue is!" 

Tim also had no clue what Kon's issue was, because from the story Cassie was telling it sounded like he was behaving completely irrationally. 

"What happened next?" He asked, because there had to be something they were missing. 

"Uh, Brenner basically told him to check his attitude, which was fair. Then Lobo decked Kon out of nowhere and they both went outside to brawl for a bit before Lobo came back in, polished off four pizzas, and then left. Kon never came inside again, I heard him take off, but I don't know where he went." Cassie explained, letting out a sigh, "I really don't know what's going on. We've all tried telling him he's being rude and asking if there's an issue with the food or something but he won't tell us anything. I'm- well no, never mind." 

Cassie cut herself off, looking away and over towards where the sun was setting over the skyscrapers. Now Tim had to know what she was about to say. 

"What?" He prodded, and when she shook her head added, "Look, any observation or theory you have you should share, even if it sounds unlikely or something. This is becoming an issue and we need to figure it out." 

Cassie sighed, "I was talking to Cissie on the phone the other day, and I was telling her how weird Kon's been acting, right?" She started, glancing around a bit nervously, "And I really hate to even repeat what she suggested, but... what if it's Match again?" 

Tim hadn't seriously considered that. The possibility of any of them being shapeshifters or clones of themselves pretending to be them was a paranoid possibility that always lived in the back of his mind. The fact that that had actually happened with Superboy's clone Match didn't really help that paranoia. Still, he tried not to live in constant fear that his friends had been replaced. Instead, about once a week or so, he subtly tested all of his friends with questions or references or something like that to make sure that each of them were still them. 

Kon hadn't failed a test ever since he came back to them after the Match debacle. Admittedly, that didn't make Superboy having been replaced impossible, but it did make it incredibly unlikely. So, despite how weird Kon was being, Tim was still pretty sure it was the original Kon who was being weird. 

"I don't think so," he said slowly, "He isn't- the way that Match acted before we figured it out wasn't like this. Kon's acting more similar to the way he does when he's wigging out about something than like he's trying to sabotage anything. He's been all good on the missions you've been running when I wasn't here, right?" 

Cassie nodded, "Yeah, his issue seems to be contatined to just Brenner." 

Tim considered that for a moment. Was it possible that something was off with Brenner and for some reason Kon had noticed and couldn't tell them about it? Maybe he'd been threatened into silence somehow? What threat would even work though? Kon had no one in his personal life to threaten, no family, not even a secret identity really, and Kon was well aware the team could take care of themselves so it couldn't be for their sake. Maybe it was blackmail? Although pretty much all of Kon's life up until this point had been either observed in one way or another or sensationalized for the news so having secrets was a pretty new thing for Kon in general. In fact, the only secret Tim could think of Kon really wanting to guard was their arrangement, and Tim was confident that Brenner was less likely to know about that than Kon was to have been replaced by Match again. 

"It's your turn to tell me what you're thinking." Cassie prodded, breaking him out of his thoughts. "Sharing theories is important and all that." 

Tim shrugged, "It's unlikely, not my best work as far as theorizing goes." 

Cassie rolled her eyes, "I won't tell anyone if you've got a bad theory, Rob. We're just spitballing here anyway. Spill it." 

"It's possible that Brenner is the problem. That he's in some way a bad guy, that Kon somehow figured it out early on and has somehow been threatened or blackmailed into silence. Or something like that." Tim shrugged, "It seems unlikely, but we might have to actually start considering it if Kon has been losing his shit so much about Brenner being around." 

Cassie thought that over for a minute before saying, "I don't even know what to think, you're right about it being unlikely, but so are our other theories I guess." She sighed, tipping her head back to stare up at the slowly darkening sky, "Rob, I'm starting to get worried about him." 

Tim nodded, even though she wasn't looking at him, "Me too, we need to do something about this before it escalates any further." 

"Oh good, you've got your leader voice now." Cassie sat up, looking at him with her full attention, "C'mon, give me my marching orders, I'll be glad to have something to do about all this." 

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, as much as Cassie played at being clueless at leadership, he knew it wasn't true. It'd never been true, and if he had to pick someone to be group leader if he died or something then it'd be her, hell, she was already unofficial group leader when he wasn't around anyway. 

"I think you should try and get buddy buddy with Brenner. Talk to him, try and be friendly, see what he tells you about himself and subtly try and find out any information you can about what led to him getting this gig with us. Honestly just find out anything and everything you can while establishing a good rapport with him. If he really is in some way a bad guy then maybe he'll slip up at some point and give the game away." Tim instructed, "I don't want you completely alone with him though, not until we've got this sorted. Make sure you have Anita or Bart with you when you're talking to him, or at least have Secret watching you in the vents or something. Actually, when we get back tell Secret that I want her to actively surveil Brenner until we get this sorted." 

Cassie nodded, accepting her 'marching orders' easily before asking, "What are you gonna be doing?" 

Tim sighed, "I'm going to try getting Kon to talk to me." He said, knowing it would be difficult based on the fact that none of the others had succeeded. 

"Good luck with that," Cassie scoffed, "he usually just storms off or yells at whoever tries to push him on it."

Yeah, that sounded about right. Kon got like that every once in a while when he tried bottling shit up. Tim did have one ace up his sleeve that the rest of the team didn't though, he could try getting Kon to hug it out.

—————————————

He didn't end up having to wait long before he got a chance to talk to Kon about what the problem was. It was at lunch the next day that Tim got to witness the kind of behavior Cassie had been talking about last night, which definitely felt like a huge escalation from what he'd seen two weeks ago. Back at the beginning with Brenner, Kon had been kind of irritable generally, but right now he was being outright aggressive and it was very targeted. 

Tim had just come downstairs and was heading towards the kitchen and dining room when he heard their voices. He paused just outside the door, choosing to just observe for a minute before he intervened. It was possible that Cassie had missed something in her own observations that he might be able to observe now. He cracked it open so he could peer through the opening and listen. 

Cassie, Bart, and Anita were all suited up and sitting around the table, clearly having been loading their plates before Kon and Brenner had begun arguing. None of them were saying anything for now, instead just volleying their heads between Kon and Brenner like they were at a Tennis match.

"It is meal time. I don't know what else you expected other than for me to have food ready for you all to eat." Brenner was saying, jaw clenched in clear frustration but remaining civil, "You need to eat to maintain your health, and I have made what the others have informed me are very delicious paninis and roasted vegetables. There is no reason that you would not sit and eat with everyone else." 

"Oh, I can think of a couple reasons why I wouldn't." Kon growled at him, and though everything about him was screaming that he was the aggressor here, there was something defensive about his stance, "I can think of a couple reasons why you should go fuck yourself too you bastardized G.I. Joe wannabe!" 

Well. Unless Brenner was a supervillain Kon had totally lost the plot. This was way worse than the bits of irritation from two weeks ago. Tim couldn't unsee the defensiveness in Kon's posture though, and the fact that Kon had a tendency to get angry and aggressive when he was scared. Well, Kon got angry for a lot of reasons, it was his response to, like, half of his emotions, so that didn't necessarily mean anything. 

"Superboy!" Brenner snapped, anger leaking into his voice just a bit now, "I am here to help take care of you, but that certainly does not mean you are permitted to treat me without the respect I deserve." 

Yeah, those were the wrong words to say to Kon 'I have issues with authority' El. Not that they weren't likely deserved. From what Tim had heard Kon hadn't been treating Brenner with anything other than contempt, it was just that those words weren't likely to yield positive results for Brenner. 

"Oh, I assure you," Kon practically growled and Tim could swear he watched the other boy's hackles visibly rise somehow, "I am permitted to treat you with all the disrespect I want to." 

Yeah, ok. Unless this guy really was some sort of evil mastermind then Kon was being a total asshole. If Tim was just basing his theory of what was going through Kon's mind on this one interaction he'd guess that this was just Kon's authority issues acting up. Except, that couldn't be what this was, it didn't track. When Brenner had shown up they'd all expected him to be militaristic and authoritative, but he hadn't been. He hadn't at any point tried giving orders, he'd taken note of the foods they liked and didn't like to try and cater towards their tastes, and he'd been pretty approachable for a military general. Besides, if this was Kon having an issue with authority then he would've had the issue from the very beginning, and even just from the conversation he was seeing now Kon was aggravated before Brenner had even had the opportunity to attempt being authoritative. 

No, Kon's issues with authority might not be helping, but they also weren't the actual issue here. Not exactly, at least. 

Tim decided it was time to step in, because Kon had that set to his shoulders that he got when he was considering making a fight physical. 

"Hey, SB, I need your help on a small mission. We just got an alert on our South Omega sensors." He said, pushing the door open and entering like he really was ready to go out on a mission, "We just need to do some recon and taking the Supercycle is too obvious. Do you mind flying us over there? I'd ask Wonder Girl but she was just on a mission with me the other night so I figure we should give her a break." 

He watched Impulse out of the corner of his eye open his mouth, likely about to either ask what the South Omega sensors were or to offer himself to transport Robin quickly. Empress quietly and gently slid a hand over his mouth though, and Wonder Girl gave him a subtle nod, clearly understanding what he was actually doing. 

Kon nodded, immediately heading towards him, "Yeah dude, let's rocket." 

"Sorry Colonel, didn't mean to miss another one of your meals. I know they're always amazing." Tim said, nodding at Brenner. 

"I'd be happy to pack it to-go if you've got a minute?" The colonel offered looking between the two of them, and Tim noted that his gaze was a bit harder when it landed on Kon. 

He shook his head though, replying before Kon could get out whatever rude thing he was gearing up to say, "No. Thanks, but we need to move now. Superboy?" 

That was all Kon needed to hear to grab Tim and fly them straight out of the hotel and a couple hundred feet in the air. 

"Where to?" He asked, seeming in a much better mood now that they were out of the hotel, "To be totally honest I have no idea where the South Omega sensors are." 

Tim shook his head, "That's cause they aren't real. I need to talk to you somewhere that no one will listen in. Can you take us somewhere secluded?" 

Kon shot him a confused and curious look before he nodded and took off, flying them somewhere to the NorthEast of where they'd been. 

After about twenty minutes Kon landed them on a small island off the coast of what Tim guessed to be Maine. The island was clearly uninhabited and didn't seem to have any signs of people coming and going at all. They were lucky the weather was still warm enough to be here, though there was definitely a crisp breeze coming off the water that Tim knew meant they wouldn't be comfortable staying here for too long. 

"Back when I was on my tour across all the states we stopped in Maine, and when I went out flying I found loads of these little islands off the coast where there weren't any people." Kon said, looking around, "Even if someone knew I'd been here before, there's no way they could set up surveillance. There's hundreds of little islands like this and I could pick any of them. So this is a pretty safe bet for us to have a conversation where no one can hear us. What's going on?" 

Tim stayed quiet for a moment, not entirely sure how to approach this and knowing that Kon was likely to blow up at him if he didn't do it right. He didn't even care that much if Kon blew up at him, it was the fact that he'd be no closer to figuring out what was going on that bugged him. 

"I was kind of wondering the same thing." He finally said, hesitantly, "What's going on with you and Brenner?" 

Kon scoffed, immediately turning away and starting to pace, "Not you too." He growled, "Seriously why is everyone on my fucking case lately? 'Oh Kon, you're being so rude! Kon, Reddy said we're supposed to make him feel welcome! Is there something wrong with the food? We all thought it tasted great Kon!' Like it even matters what the food tastes like." Kon scoffed again, kicking a loose rock so hard that it sailed off through the trees. "You haven't even been here Rob, and you're just gonna already take his side?" 

"I'm not taking his side." Tim couldn't help but roll his eyes at how quickly Kon was flying off the handle.

He shouldn't have done that, he realized as soon as he saw Kon's eyes narrow as he clocked the eye roll, "Oh yeah, cause that sure seems like what's going on from where I'm standing." 

Well from where Tim was standing it just seemed like Kon was acting like an asshole for no reason. He didn't say that though, not when he could literally see how Kon was getting more and more agitated by the second. Whatever was going on had clearly gotten him all sorts of worked up, and when Kon got worked up about something he tended to lose the ability to explain what he was so worked up about in the first place and he usually came out sounding like a total asshole. Plus, whatever had Kon worked up right now had been going on for weeks, so Tim was probably in for an absolute shitstorm if he didn't defuse the situation right now. 

"Do you want a hug?" Is what ended up coming out of his mouth, even though he hadn't been planning on attempting to play that card until later. 

"What?" Kon said, so surprised he stopped in his pacing to stare at Tim in disbelief.

"Do you want a hug?" Tim repeated because he might as well commit at this point, "Or some other form of touch? I can do whatever." 

Kon blinked at him, "Are you serious right now?" 

He nodded, then shrugged "I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't." 

"You're unbelievable." Kon growled, turning to start pacing again before turning back around to point an accusing finger at Tim, "So what?! My problems are just whatever now cause you want a hug from me?" 

Now it was Tim's turn to blink in shock, "What? No! I asked if you wanted a hug, not if I could have one! I was trying to focus on your problems!" 

"Oh so now I have problems?" Kon spat going back to pacing. 

"No! Those were literally your words!" Tim immediately pointed out, not that it did him much good.

The situation was quickly devolving, and Tim watched as the same defensiveness curved Kon's shoulders in as he'd seen start to happen in the kitchen. He needed to calm down so he could attempt to calm Kon down. 

"Look, I'm not trying to offend you or upset you or whatever." He tried, and sighed when Kon scoffed. 

"Then why the hell did you ask that?" Kon demanded. 

"Because I want to be on your side! I am actively trying to be on your side!" He exclaimed, frustration bleeding into his voice, but he must have said or done something right because Kon had stopped pacing and was now just looking at him, he had Kon's attention, now he had to make sure he didn't lose it, "Look, you've been aggravated and upset and irritable ever since Brenner showed up, and frankly you've been coming across as an asshole for the last two weeks. Except, I'm pretty sure that you have a reason. You do this sometimes, there'll be something wrong and you'll get worked up about it, and as soon as you get worked up you start acting like a total asshole and just lose all ability to explain what's wrong in the first place." 

Kon blinked at him before his expression turned angry and Tim rushed to cut him off, "And that's fine! Well, it's not fine, you should probably work on that." He corrected before immediately pressing on, "But I don't really care about that right now, and I'm not trying to get on you about it. The thing is, that when you get like this, you usually do have a reason you're acting like an asshole, you just aren't good at explaining it until you calm down so I was offering a hug in case that would help you calm down! I'm not trying to use you or get on you about anything right now, Kon! You're my friend and I want to be on your side, but I need to at least know what the hell that side is! So do you want a hug?" 

Kon was quiet for a minute, just staring right at him with an unreadable expression before he looked away, running a hand through his hair, frustration clear in his movements and posture. 

"I- I don't know!" Kon exclaimed, throwing his arms up, though he didn't say quite what he didn't know about. 

"You don't know... if you want a hug?" He guessed after a few moments of silence. 

Kon nodded once, sharply, before sucking in a breath and running a frustrated hand through his hair again, "I- yes. I think the answer is yes, or it's not no. I just- I can't, I-"

The words were coming out in frustrated bursts, his hands jerky and agitated as he gesticulated, and every muscle in his body seemed primed to run or fight or fly or something equally as energetic. That was what made Tim realize what the issue is, he probably should have sooner given Impulse was one of his best friends, but in fairness Kon's restlessness presented differently. 

"You need to fly first? Burn some energy?" He asked. 

Kon looked relieved at Tim having understood, "Yeah, I think so." 

Tim nodded up towards the sky, "Go then, burn it off. I'll be waiting whenever you're ready." 

Kon's gaze shifted between Tim and the sky a couple of times before he asked, "Are you sure you'll be alright here, it's a bit chilly isn't it?" 

Tim rolled his eyes, leave it to Kon to be kind of considerate even after being a total jerk, "Yeah dude, I'm from Gotham remember? I'll be fine." 

Kon nodded at that, bending his knees like he was about to take off. He looked back at Tim for a moment before stripping off his leather jacket and tossing it over to Tim. He caught it out of surprise, then opened his mouth to protest that it was unnecessary but he was cut off by the booming noise of Kon breaking the sound barrier as he took off.

Tim rolled his eyes, "Worrywart." He muttered, knowing that Kon would hear it if he was listening, but he slipped the jacket on anyway. 

He was from Gotham after all, he knew better than to turn down a source of free warmth, regardless of how wealthy his upbringing was. 

Tim turned to the island, choosing to wander while he waited. The whole island was small enough that he could see the entirety of it from the where Kon had dropped them on a higher point of rocks. There was a cluster of sturdy looking trees in the center and past that sand and sea grass. Then on the far end there was steep rock leading down to where the ocean was. He stayed there for a while, sitting on one of the higher rocks and just watching the waves crash against the rocks, the water splashing upwards in beautiful arcs that glinted in the sunlight. 

He wished he had his camera, these were the kinds of photos every photographer wished they could take. He wished he had his camera double when he noticed a couple of seals playing near the rocks to his right. Maybe he'd get Kon to take him back here one day when he had a camera. 

As it was, he just sat there, pulling the jacket tighter around himself. The wind was a bit cold, but he didn't want to retreat to the slight shelter the trees would've provided when it would mean losing the view. It was far easier to pass the time he waited by analyzing the way the light played off the waves as they crashed anyway. 

What he guessed was a little over half an hour later Kon returned, touching down lightly to his left.

"Hey." Kon said, looking nervous, "I um, I got a hammock, and a blanket." He said holding up the bundle of cloth in his arms, "You said- you offered a, y'know, a hug or whatever, but I figured this'd be better, warmer at least. If you don't want to anymore then that's totally fine though, no sweat, I just-"

"Let's go set it up." Tim said, cutting off the nervous rambling and standing up, grabbing Kon's empty hand in his own probably cold one and heading for the grove of trees. 

"I'm sorry. About leaving you here." Kon kept rambling anyway, "It's cold and I know you're cold." 

"It's fine, I'm not upset, and I'm also not that cold." Tim said, grabbing half of the hammock from Kon to tie to one tree as Kon did the other side. 

He really wasn't upset. He just wanted to figure out what the hell was going on with his friend so that he could help. If that meant Kon burning some energy before they climbed into a hammock together then Tim was honestly fine with that.

Kon didn't respond to that, and Tim didn't bother worrying too much about it. Kon was still clearly unsettled even if he'd burnt off a fair bit of energy, but Tim was about to help with that so it was fine. 

They both kind of stood on opposite sides of the hammock for an awkward moment, not sure exactly where to go from here. 

"I'm bigger so maybe I should..." Kon trailed off, but Tim already knew what he was suggesting. 

"Yeah, you go first." Tim agreed, grabbing the blanket that Kon held out to him. 

Kon rolled himself onto the hammock, taking a second to roll around a bit to get himself situated before he raised his arms up so Tim had the space to roll on too and settle against his torso. He squirmed a bit so he could get the blanket unfolded and over them, the two of them working together to get it over the both of them without their feet sticking out. 

They settled after a minute, his arm wrapping around Kon's stomach and Kon's hand finding its way to the spot on his ribs that Kon frequently used as a hand hold. Not that Tim minded, there was something about the hand placement that made him feel settled, and admittedly a bit safe. 

"You ready to explain yet, or do you want to just lay here for a while first?" He asked quietly, keeping his tone as open and accepting as possible so Kon would know either option was ok. 

Kon just tightened his arm around Tim and curled a bit closer, "Not yet." was all he said. 

Tim let himself relax and curl closer too, "Alright, whenever you're ready." 

They stayed quiet for a while after that, and Tim had to admit that this was a really pleasant way to spend an afternoon, drama not withstanding. There was the sounds of the sea and bird calls to make up the background noise. The air was fresh and crisp and the nice kind of salty, nothing like Gotham harbor. The air was the kind of chilly that felt really nice when curled up in a hammock with a blanket too. Tim wouldn't mind coming back and doing this again if he was honest. 

After about thirty minutes Kon broke the silence, his voice soft, but impossible to ignore, "It's not really Brenner's fault. It could've been someone else and I wouldn't have liked it any better. I just-" Kon blew out a breath that Tim felt ruffle his hair, "I don't know how exactly to explain it, and I also don't understand why none of the rest of you see an issue." 

Tim hummed thoughtfully, "Maybe try starting with what first made you notice the issue?" 

He felt Kon's head nod even though he couldn't see it properly from this angle, "Yeah, I- the first couple days were good, I guess. Free home cooked meals that were delicious and everything. Then on, like, the third or fourth day I went into the kitchen for some gummy sharks cause I just really wanted some. I looked in the candy cupboard and they weren't there, so I asked Brenner figuring he'd moved some stuff around or whatever and he said he threw them out. Then he said that they weren't healthy so I couldn't have them anymore and offered me some sort of all-natural gummy fruit thing and said I could have that instead. I don't know why, but my brain just kind of got caught on the 'could' and 'couldn't' of it all. Then I couldn't stop noticing it, and I realized that I didn't get a choice in what I ate anymore. Every meal time, for every snack, he was there telling me what I 'could' eat. And then 'could' started feeling a lot more like 'allowed', and I couldn't stand that. It didn't  matter if the food was really good or healthy or whatever, not when some adult was telling me what I 'could' and 'couldn't' eat. 

When Kon framed it like that everything made a lot more sense. Brenner hadn't been authoritative, but he hadn't needed to be. Kon's issues weren't just with authority, in fact, his issues with authority were rooted in his complicated relationship to his own identity and his own autonomy. 

"Rob, I-" there was a small hitch in Kon's breathing that made something in Tim's chest squeeze, "It's my body. I should get to choose what goes in it." 

Which, yeah, he really fucking should. Especially after the amount of choices Tim knew had been taken from him already, some before he'd even understood what was being taken. Not to mention all the ones Tim was sure he didn't even know about. 

They should have seen this coming, him and Cassie, or they at least should have figured it out sooner. Granted Kon hadn't exactly made it easy, but still, when it was framed like that it made perfect sense. They'd been so prepared for some militaristic asshole that fed them gruel and barked orders that they'd dropped their guard too much when Brenner wasn't like that. They'd taken the delicious food gladly and hadn't really questioned when it replaced their less healthy options because that had been the entire point of hiring Brenner. They also hadn't consider the lack of choices that that had left them with, but Kon had, because of course he had. 

He wondered if Cissie would've caught on too if she'd been around, but didn't bother thinking to hard about that. It didn't matter now anyway, what was done was done, now it was time for solutions. 

"You're right." Tim said, propping himself up on his free arm to look Kon in the eyes when he said it, "You should get a choice." 

Kon blinked at him in surprise, "You're on my side?" 

Tim nodded, "First of all, you're my friend, I always want to be on your side. Second of all, yeah, that's a totally reasonable concern. It's like I said before, when you get worked up about something you usually have a reason, you just get too caught up in being an asshole about it to express it in a way anyone else understands. Now that you've calmed down and actually shared the reason it makes total sense, so of course I'm on your side." 

"I didn't know I did that." Kon said, and Tim had sort of expected as much. 

He nodded, then shrugged, "For the record, if you'd told me, or Cassie, or any of the rest of the team what was going on earlier then we would have all been on your side. We would have all tried to help." 

Kon pulled him back down, holding him tightly against him, "I honestly thought it was obvious." He explained with a sigh, "Besides, while it's real nice to know you're on my side now, it's not like there's anything to be done. Red Tornado made us promise we'd stick it out for a month and it's only been 16 days." 

Robin poked Kon lightly in the side at that, "Bold of you to assume I don't already have several ideas." 

He felt Kon shift and lean back so he could look down at Tim and he tilted his head back to grin mischievously at his friend. Kon laughed at that, a relieved and amused mixture. 

"Alright let's hear it then." He said, "I'm sure whatever you come up with will be better than what I've been doing." 

Tim made a note to ask later what he meant by that, but for right now he just answered, "So first of all, me, you, and the rest of the team are gonna spend the rest of the month coming up with the most compelling argument the world has ever seen to explain to Red Tornado that Brenner cannot continue functioning in the same capacity in his role here." 

Kon nodded, "Trust me, I was already working on that, but I'm sure I've got much better odds of succeeding with the rest of you backing me." 

Yeah, Tim imagined that was the case too, especially knowing that there was an exceptionally low chance of Kon explaining his points well if he'd had a whole month to stew in this with no outside intervention. 

"In the meantime," Tim continued on, "When we get back to base then I have a map in my room to give you. I'm not going to get into detail, and if you ever tell anyone about the not-details I'm telling you I'm going to kill you so don't, but Batman has a way of telling what's in the airspace around Gotham. That's part of how he keeps Metas out. So, let's just say, hypothetically, I was able to tweak that method in a way that leaves the smallest path through Gotham's airspace that leads directly to my bedroom window at home. Hypothetically, this map has this path on it. I was originally intending for you to use the path to enact our arrangement when I'm not with you guys at base. However, I figure for the next couple weeks you can decide whether or not you want to eat whatever Brenner makes, and if not then you can come to my place and eat with me there. I'll keep the kitchen stocked with food, including anything you want, and if you don't want any of that then we can get takeout." 

Kon had reeled back as far as he could in the hammock and was now staring at Tim with a wide-eyed and awed expression, "Dude, I- are you for real?" 

Tim shrugged, "I mean yeah. Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna make you promise to not use any info about the outside or inside my house to find out my name and to make sure I'm the only one in the house or that the house is empty before you come in. Plus, we're gonna go over the path and the layout of my house cause you really can only use my bedroom window to enter and exit since it's the only one not connected to the alarms. Plus you'll have to memorize the path so we can burn the map, and Ill probably have to change the path every so often so Batman doesn't get suspicious about blind spots, but yeah I think we can make this work." 

He looked at Kon, feeling a little nervous for a second, like maybe he'd gone too far or done too much to try and make this easier. Being too eager was a bad thing sometimes, right? Except it apparently wasn't this time because a half a second later and Tim was being crushed against Kon in an incredibly tight hug. 

"Thank you." Kon said, and Tim could actually feel the gratitude and relief pouring off of him. 

Tim stayed quiet because he wasn't quite sure what to say in the face of that much pure gratitude and awe, but he was pretty sure 'don't thank me' wasn't the right answer. Eventually, Kon's hold loosened and they stayed in silence for another few minutes before Tim remembered he had a question to ask. 

"Hey, what have you been doing for the last two weeks? Cassie said you weren't eating a lot of meals with the others?" He asked, worried about what the answer would be, "You have been eating, right?"

Kon shrugged, "Probably not as much as I'm supposed to be, but I don't really have any money so buying food wasn't really an option. I've been getting a decent amount by dumpster diving near restaurants though." Kon informed him, like that  was a totally fine thing to be doing, "Seriously dude, you would not believe how much perfectly good food these restaurants are throwing out it's totally bonkers. Then they have the audacity to put locks on their dumpsters so homeless people can't get to the food. It's totally wasteful!" Then Kon paused for a second before adding, "Uh, by the way, if you start getting reports of lots of locks on dumpsters outside restaurants in nearby cities being broken then don't worry about it. I'm sure it's just some do-gooder and not some criminal or villain doing it so you should just ignore those reports." 

Tim snickered at that last bit, "Yeah, I'm sure." He agreed easily enough, it's not like he really cared if dumpster locks were being broken and he especially didn't care if Kon was the one doing it. 

Well, actually he sort of cared on account of the fact that he cared about Kon being in a position where he felt the need to go dumpster diving for food. 

"Hey, we didn't have lunch, and you haven't been eating enough. Do you want to go grab some food with me?" He asked, "My treat, anything you want that can be paid for in euros or US dollars cause that's all I've got on me." 

Kon shrugged, his arms tightening around Tim just a bit, "I don't wanna leave the island yet." 

Tim was about to let it go, they could stay here a bit longer before going out for food, except just then Kon's stomach let out a loud growl and Tim felt him curl inward just a bit. Yeah, ok, no, if Kon was hungry enough that his stomach growls were making him hunch then he needed food. Especially with his super metabolism and especially after having flown around the globe at top speed a couple times. 

"Hey, cmon dude! We'll get takeout and bring it back here. We can have a picnic." Tim suggested, poking Kon in the side before bringing out the big guns, "I skipped lunch too dude, I'm hungry." 

All the sudden Kon was ready to go get food right that minute. Tim refrained from rolling his eyes, typical hero, only willing to do something for someone else's sake and not their own. 

"You said anywhere that takes US dollars or Euros?" Kon asked, reaching out a hand and wrapping it around Tim so he could fly them wherever he wanted to get food from. 

Tim nodded, "Yeah, is that enough options?" Because after all, this whole thing was bout making sure Kon had choices that he got to make in the first place. 

Kon looked at him like he understood the intention behind the word choice and was grateful for it. 

"Yeah, it's more than enough options."

.............................................

The first time their arrangement was enacted for Robin's sake, it was mission related. Kon managed to keep it all behind closed doors, but he had to admit that it'd been a bit of a struggle to do so. 

"Fucking leave it Empress!" He heard Robin's voice shout, and suddenly Kon was on high alert. 

"Bart, I gotta go." He said, dropping his controller before Bart had even hit pause and booking it towards where he knew Robin had been holed up in one of the offices. 

Their current mission has so far been very high stakes but low workload, for most of them at least. There was a group of hackers trying to target the governments of a couple different small countries around the world. Thus far there hadn't been anything for Young Justice to attack, so they were all kind of sitting around twiddling their thumbs other than Lobo and Robin. Lobo had bailed at the beginning when he'd heard the words 'no fight', and Rob was the exception to their general uselessness in this sort of matter.

Robin had been the only one of them doing much of anything other than checking over their equipment and stuff for the millionth time for when they finally had a target to go and kick butt. He'd been holed up in one of the hotel's offices for the last two days doing some sort of reverse hacker work or whatever, and had been growing increasingly fixated and snappish the longer time stretched on. He hadn't outright yelled at anyone yet though, and even in the past when he yelled at people it was usually Kon or Bart and they were usually doing something stupid. So the fact that Robin had just yelled at Anita was definitely something that Kon intended to investigate. 

"No!" He heard Anita yell back, apparently unwilling to attempt deescalating, which was fair, it's not like Kon usually deescalated ever when he got in an argument, "You're no good to us like this!" 

Ok, harsh, what the hell had they been arguing about before the yelling caught Kon's attention?

"No Empress, I'm actually the only one who's any good right now, that's the fucking problem." Robin growled at her, "Now get your nose out of what you don't understand!"

Harsher, yikes. Kon nearly crashed into the office in his rush to figure out what was wrong. Both Anita and Robin's heads whipped over to him, though Robin's quickly ducked back down to focus on the screen as soon as he'd dismissed the possibility of a threat. 

"What's going on?" Kon asked, and was met with a disbelieving look from Anita. 

"What's 'going on' is Robin hasn't slept in over 48 hours." Anita declared, pointing at Robin accusingly, "He needs to step away from the screen and take a damn nap." 

Ok, so this was coming from a place of concern. There was hope yet. 

"And I already told you that that isn't a goddamn option." Robin growled, not even looking up from the screen. 

"And I'm telling you that you can." Anita stated resolutely before grabbing the back of Robin's chair and literally pulling him away from the screen. 

Robin was out of his chair in an instant, body language radiating danger as he moved to turn and face their newer teammate. Kon threw himself in between them because Anita did not understand the veritable shit storm she'd just launched herself into with that move. 

"Hey, woah woah, tensions are high but no one really wants to hurt each other here. We're all on the same side!" He did his best to channel Cassie, she'd always been decent at deescalation when she'd had the patience for it.

Anita was glaring so hard her rage and determination were palpable, meanwhile Robin was practically vibrating with frustration and that same steely determination. Kon felt stuck between two polar forces, like if they all stayed here any longer then a tornado would have to form around them. 

"Anita, why don't you go to the kitchen and start a fresh pot of coffee." He told her, trying to keep his voice kind while also making it clear that it was more an instruction than a request, "I'll meet you in there in a bit." 

He wasn't entirely sure he had the authority here to be giving orders, after all Robin was their leader. Still though, Anita seemed to sense the surety in him and actually left without further argument. Admittedly, Kon was fairly certain he was gonna get chewed out one way or another when he made it to the kitchen later, but that was a future Kon's problem. 

Current Kon's problem was already turning back to the computer as the door was clicking closed behind Anita. Kon turned his full and undivided attention onto his friend and noted that what he'd previously thought were tremors induced by frustration and anger were looking more and more like the caffeine and stress-induced breakdown type of shaking. 

It got worse. Kon watched as Robin sat back down at the desk and started typing again. Kon expected his heart rate and breathing to level now that he wasn't being challenged or whatever his sleep deprived mind had interpreted Anita's attempted intervention as. It didn't. Instead Kon watched and listened as his heart rate remained both alarmingly elevated as well as uneven, racing both fast and faster in bursts. After another minute it was clear that Robin's breathing wasn't getting any better, Jesus he could even hear slight hitches in every other breath. 

Kon was painfully aware of the fact that Robin knew he was still here, which meant that this was Robin controlling his reactions as much as he could. If it was this bad then that meant it was the equivalent of a normal person having, like, a heart attack or something. Actually, if Robin didn't calm down then he might be on his way to a heart attack for real, or at the very least passing out. No human could maintain vitals like that without something happening. 

"Rob," Kon started slowly, hesitantly, not wanting to work the other boy up any more than he already was, "Not that you're not doing great, but uh, you do actually need to sleep at some point. You're exhausted." 

Robin shot a glare at him for barely a second before his gaze was back on the screen. "WOW, what astounding observational skills you have there. Not sleeping for over two days will make a person tired! Tell me, does 2 plus 2 equal 4?" 

Well. He could see how Anita had lost her shit at him, the cutting sarcasm in his voice was more powerful than it was when they fought half their villains. 

"Dude. I'm not trying to be Captain Obvious here or anything, but you need sleep!" Kon tried being a little more direct and less hesitant. 

"Yeah, no shit. Do you think I'm stupid?" Robin growled back. 

No, Kon just thought he was horrendous at self-care. Side effect of no one being around to teach him how to do it or to even care about making sure he did it. That wasn't really the point right now though. 

"I think you aren't sleeping." Kon replied instead and watched as Robin's grip on the edge of the desk turned white even as the other hand continued pressing keys. 

"I can't." He bit out, mouth in a snarl, "You guys seemed to miss the fact that I am the only one with computer skills and I'm facing down what appears to be an entire group of expert hackers with no help. I can't step away for more than ten minutes while I run a program every couple hours. I can't sleep without letting them win, not until this is over." 

Kon had admittedly kind of already known that, so did the others. They'd all just kind of thought it would be over by now because Robin would have some sort of ace up his sleeve. 

"There's no one to help? What about that Oracle person you talk to sometimes? I thought they were good with info and tech stuff." He asked, hoping that by some fluke Robin had just forgotten about that and then Oracle could swoop in. 

"Oracle is not available to assist right now." Robin stated, breath hitching a bit more audibly, "I'm on my own."

Kon considered asking why Oracle wasn't available, but he knew he wouldn't get an answer. He never did when it came to info about the other bats or any of their affiliates. 

Right, so Robin couldn't sleep. That much was obvious. It sucked, but it was true. Sleeping may not be an option, but Robin was still unraveling right in front of him, and that was something Kon could at least slap a bandaid on until this was all over and he could make his friend get actual sleep. 

"Fine. You're right. You can't go to sleep right now." He agreed, even though he hated doing it, "You said you can run a program and buy yourself 10 minutes, right? Do that." 

Robin shook his head, "Can't." His breaths were getting ragged. 

"Can't or won't?" Kon asked, squinting, because Robin had literally just said that he could. 

There was a brief pause where only typing could be heard, then a quiet admittance of, "Won't." 

That's what Kon thought, "Ok, let me put it this way. With the vitals you've been rocking ever since Anita was in here you are well on your way to passing out. You need to take a couple minutes away to cool off now otherwise you are going to be taking a nap whether you want to or not. So set up a program and take a break." 

Kon felt really weird giving what seemed to be orders, and even weirder when Robin just... followed them. Kon locked the door to the office while the typing continued, but this time in a different pattern. After a minute it stopped and Robin looked up at him. 

"I have an estimated 8-13 minutes for this program to run. As soon as the alarm goes off I need to go right back to it." Robin was staring at him, craters beneath his red-rimmed eyes and a tremor in every one of his muscles, "What exactly did you want me to do?" 

"That's not-" Kon started, about to tell Robin that it wasn't really about Kon wanting him to do something and more about Robin needing to take a break and relax for a minute.

He thought better of that though. The only reason he'd gotten away with stating so bluntly what he thought Robin needed before was because their team leader was so exhausted and distracted by the task he was working on that he likely hadn't actually fully processed what Kon had been saying. 

"Can I touch you?" He asked instead, moving around the desk and holding a hand out to Robin. 

Robin glanced nervously towards the door, "We aren't-"

"It's shut and locked." Kon assured him, because duh, he wasn't stupid, "Can I touch you?" 

Robin still looked a bit wary and confused but he nodded, then, slowly, even his motions unsure, reached his own hand up and grasped Kon's outstretched palm. Kon grasped his hand in return and pulled gently at their joined hands, using his TTK a bit to get Robin standing and moving away from the computer with him. Once he was sure they were out of site of the computer screen he tugged Robin into a hug, wrapping his arms around Robin's torso and holding him there firmly. 

He both felt and heard Robin's breath hitch at finding himself in a sudden embrace, but he didn't try to pull away. Kon could feel the tremors under Robin's skin and his heart was still beating in uneven bursts. Kon was pretty sure that those issues were in part due to the exhaustion and caffeine binge, but he knew that they weren't this pronounced based solely on those two things, part of it was genuine distress. Admittedly the distress was also rooted in the exhaustion and caffeine, but Kon was pretty sure he could still ease some of it. After all, when he'd been researching for their arrangement he'd seen loads of parents soothe their kids distress with physical affection, regardless of what had caused the distress in the first place. 

He kept one arm firmly wrapped around Robin's shoulders and used the other hand to rub up and down Rob's spine in the way he knew was soothing to him. Robin melted into him so easily it was like magic, way easier than he had before, but then again Robin hadn't been exhausted, stressed, and about to have a melt down before. 

Kon let his TTK bear Robin's weight for him so he was only standing because he was vertical. If Rob's knees were to suddenly melt too then it wouldn't make any difference. It was a good thing too because Rob's heartbeat was leveling and his breaths were evening out and Kon was pretty sure he would've dragged them to the floor without the TTK assistance. He took to rocking them slightly as he kept rubbing up and down Rob's spine and prayed that the program would give them the full 13 minutes. 

Then Robin jolted in his arms, heart rate sky rocketing in just a second.

"No, nonononono, did I- I can't- you have to stop!" Robin yanked himself out of Kon's arms, panic approaching pass out levels once more. 

"What? What's wrong?" Kon asked, feeling his own pulse sky rocket, as he held his palms out in a pacifying gesture, "Rob, hey, breathe dude. I won't touch you if you don't want me to, ok?" 

Robin was shaking his head rapidly though, and Kon thought he might be seeing actual tears in his friend's eyes, "No! No, I'm sorry it's my fault," Robin choked out, Kon had no idea what he was apologizing about but he still knew it wasn't Robin's fault, "I can't- I was falling asleep. You hugged me and I started to fall asleep but I can't fall asleep cause I'll miss it when the alarm goes off and I can't miss that or else people will be hurt so I can't hug you and I'm really sorry cause you asked to touch me but I can't let you." 

Ok, Kon was getting the picture, at least this issue had an easy fix, "Hey, ok, I get it. How about I hug you and if you fall asleep then I'll wake you up as soon as the alarm goes off?" He offered, hoping it would be this easy. 

It wasn't. It never was. 

Robin shook his head, "I- I can't. I can't risk it. I should get back to it now, I'm no good sleeping." 

"No, nope, no you don't." Kon said, grabbing Robin by the elbow and dragging him away from the computer he'd started heading towards again, "Come back here." 

"Kon, I'm no use asleep." Robin said, sounding more and more upset by the minute, though it was the kind of upset where he wasn't sure if Robin was about to start screaming at him, burst into tears, or both. 

He really hoped it wasn't both. He placed his palms on Robin's cheeks, holding his face softly and firmly to make sure he had Rob's attention, cause he didn't seem to be getting through to him yet. 

"Hey, listen to me. Your vitals are not sustainable." He grabbed Robin's hand and brought it up so he could feel his own pulse beating in his neck, before bringing his hand back to Rob's cheek, "I know you know that's too fast and uneven, and your breaths are the same. Not to mention how hard you're shaking. I understand you can't fix it completely because you can't go sleep it off right now, but you can let me help you calm down while your program runs for a couple minutes and that way you'll be more effective when you go back to it." 

Robin was staring at him with wide eyes, and at least Kon could tell he actually did have his friend's attention, even if he didn't know if he was getting through to him. 

"What if I fall asleep?" He asked, voice unsteady. 

"Then I will wake you up the second the alarm goes off, I promise." Kon swore, making his tone as steady and assuring as possible, "Now, can I please hug you again?" 

Robin stayed quiet for another minute, and Kon was practically holding his breath in anticipation. Slowly but surely he nodded eventually, and Kon let out a relieved breath, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Robin again. He used his TTK to lift them a bit into the air and float them over towards the couch in the corner and laid them down on it. 

The couch wasn't particularly comfortable, but he was pretty sure Robin was too tired to even notice. Sure enough as soon as Kon started rubbing up and down his spine again he melted. 

"I feel like I could fall asleep any moment." Robin said tiredly, "But also like I'm never going to sleep again and I'm just going to, like, die or something instead. I need to finish the mission first though." 

"You aren't going to die." Kon pointed out, "At least not like this." 

Robin scoffed, even as he burrowed his head into Kon's shoulder a bit, then mumbled a petulant, "You don't know that." 

Kon rolled his eyes, Robin always acted like he was the mature one, but it wasn't true. He was the smart one, sure, but he could be just as argumentative over nonsense as the rest of them could. Not to mention prone to dramatics and fits of teenage rage that were there one minute and gone the next. 

"Yeah I do." Kon replied, because he'd never claimed to be the mature one either. 

"You can't predict the future, Kon." Robin pointed out, even though it sounded like he was actively falling asleep. 

Kon hummed in amusement, "Sure I can. Check this out, here's your immediate future. You're gonna kick these hacker guys' asses digitally and track them, then we're all gonna go kick their asses physically. Then, as soon as the mission is over, I'm taking you directly to bed and you're gonna sleep for a minimum of 15 hours even if I have to lay on top of you to make sure you do it. There, see, I've got future telling powers." 

Robin yawned, jaw stretching what had to be painfully wide and then he slurred out, "Fi'teen hours 's... long time." 

"Yup." Kon agreed easily. 

Robin didn't have anything else to say to that, and Kon was pretty sure he'd drifted off to sleep. He really hoped the program ran for the full 13 minutes, though he had no way of knowing how long it'd been when it did finally go off. 

"Hey," he said, sitting them both up and shaking Robin lightly, "Time to get up." 

Robin's eyes peeled themselves open and before he could panic Kon used his TTK to get them across the room and sat Robin back in the desk chair facing the screen. Robin started tapping keys before he seemed fully awake, not saying a word as he dove right back into it. 

Kon eyed the empty coffee cups scattered around as Robin reached for the one that had a sip or two left and drained it. He didn't spot any water glasses or plates that would indicate Robin had consumed either food or water though. Technically that didn't mean he hadn't done so, but Kon was also well aware that Robin's self care was lacking under good circumstances, which these were not. 

"Ok, I'm gonna run to the kitchen and grab you some food and water. I'm not gonna make you consume it even though you totally should." Kon announced, and he could tell Robin was listening even if he didn't look away from the screen, "Then I'm gonna come hang out in here. I won't talk or do anything to disturb you, but I'll be here to keep an ear out for alarms if you wanna rest your eyes again while you run a program." 

Robin didn't say anything to that, just kept typing away, not that Kon expected him to. He still waited a moment, just in case Robin did have something to say. After a few moments though he turned towards the door, but he only made it before Robin did actually decide to say something. 

"Hey Kon?" He asked, voice hesitant and unsure, and Kon turned and waited to see what he was going to say, "uh, I- um." He paused before continuing, voice suddenly a bit more sure, "Can you grab me some coffee while you're in there, I'm out." 

Kon nodded, "Fine, but I'm making you drink half a glass of water at least before I give you the coffee." 

Kon wasn't sure why he was negotiating like this, Rob was a big kid who could remember to drink water on his own. It's not like Kon was his mom or had any reason to be nagging at him. Except, well, wasn't that what their arrangement was for a little bit? They'd created it with the idea that they wanted to make sure their needs, which would normally be taken care of by family, were being met. Admittedly it'd been with a specific focus on physical touch, but couldn't it reasonably be applied to other areas when the situation required it? Whatever, the door was locked and closed still, which meant their arrangement was still in affect, so maybe Kon did have the right to care about Robin's other needs being met in the way that a family member would, at least while the door was still locked. 

Either way Robin didn't argue with it, any of it, which was a testament to how tired and focused he was more than anything else but Kon would take it. Robin just nodded his agreement to the terms so he was taking it as a win. 

He turned back around, heading for the door again and this time Kon made it far enough to get a hand on the door handle before Robin piped up again, "Kon?" 

He turned again, already knowing what Robin was going to say, having heard his friends opinions about making coffee many times before, "I know how you like your coffee, Rob, you don't gotta remind me." 

"What? No, I know." Robin said, voice both confused and distracted for a moment as the typing intensified before it went back to its previous speed, "I just- thank you." 

There was a weight to those last two words that told Kon that he wasn't being thanked for bringing food or drinks. Even though Robin didn't look up from the screen even once. 

"Course dude." Kon shrugged, feeling suddenly awkward under the weight in the air, and about the fact that he didn't really feel like he needed to be thanked for the hug. 

It's what Kon was there for, they had a whole arrangement for this. One that specified that they weren't gonna force themselves into anything for the sake of the other person, so Robin knew that Kon would have to, on some level, want to be hugging him too. It felt a little like Robin was thanking him for caring enough to do it though, and Kon both had no idea how to address that and was also painfully aware that now would be a spectacularly shitty time to even attempt doing so. 

So he didn't say anything, instead just leaving the room and heading for the kitchen in the hopes that the office would be less awkward and tense when he returned. 

He'd forgotten that he'd sent Anita to the kitchen. 

He'd definitely been right when he'd thought before that she'd be waiting there for him to chew him out. 

"Did you get him to go get some sleep?" She asked, standing up a bit straighter once he entered the kitchen. 

"No." He shook his head, and before she could start lecturing him like he could tell she was about to he added, "He can't sleep right now, he was right about that. Robin is the only one of us with those kinds of computer skills and if he takes a break to sleep then that means letting the bad guys win. It sucks Anita, but unless you've been holding out on us about some tech skills you've got, then it is what it is." 

She didn't look particularly assuaged by that explanation, "So what? We're all just gonna sit around and let him work himself to death by exhaustion?" 

Kon shrugged, "We won't let it get to that point before we call in the big guns. We aren't at that point yet though, so for now we carry on."

"What exactly do you consider to be 'that point' because I'd say we've reached it. I don't know if you somehow missed it, but he looked about ready to drop, mon." Anita argued, and he understood her frustration and concern, this sucked, it was just that, well, their job kinda sucked sometimes, "Who even is 'the big guns' anyway?" 

"The big guns is the Justice League. We don't call them unless it's absolutely dire." Kon explained, patting himself on the back for the amount of patience and cool-headedness he'd exhibited today, Rob would be proud of him under normal circumstances, "And that point is when me, Cassie, Rob, and Bart all agree that we've reached that point. Calling in our adult mentors or associates is a unanimous decision. One that none of us have even considered yet." 

"Would it really be that bad to call them in? I mean seriously, what's with all the dramatics? Don't you four have, like, personal relationships with your mentors?" She scoffed, "You're acting like our group is a secret and calling them means they'll shut us down or something." 

"Look, first of all, most of our relationships with our various mentors or, in my case, my original copy, are complicated at best." He tried to explain as he started pulling out sandwich ingredients, "Plus, I know you weren't here for the start of our group, but the JL originally wanted to shut us down. We are constantly having to prove ourselves to them in order to be allowed to continue existing, and even then it's only with the Red Tornado's oversight. So no, we don't call them in on things like this, not when we can handle it in house." 

Speaking of handling things in house, Kon was enjoying the luxury of making a damn sandwich himself now that he was able to again. He'd felt a lot more settled in his own skin now that Brenner had been relegated to just a nutritional consultant who made suggestions on a bi-weekly basis instead of making any decisions for them. It was so worth it even though he'd had to bite the bullet and apologize to Brenner after Rob had asked him to explain what the deal was. 

"Speaking of Reddy, where is he? Surely he could help." Anita pointed out, which was a valid point in fairness. 

Unfortunately, Red Tornado couldn't help, "He's helping the JL with some secret mission. We can't alert him without alerting the JL." 

Anita threw her arms up in the air in frustration, "This is so not cool, mon. So what? You're just gonna let him keep going as is? Why the hell did you even go in there and kick me out?!" 

"I kicked you out cause getting in a yelling match with him over it wasn't helping anything." Kon pointed out, even though he didn't have much of a leg to stand on seeing as he frequently got in yelling matches when it wouldn't help anything. 

"And you did help? Last I checked he's still awake." She shot back, glaring at him. "Seriously, you were in there for over twenty minutes, what were you doing?" 

Kon shrugged, "Nothing particularly interesting. The important parts are that I told him he wasn't getting any more coffee until I saw him drink some water, that I was bringing him food, and that as soon as this mission was over if he gave any trouble on going to bed then I'd drag him to bed myself and he would be required to get a minimum 15 hours of sleep even if I had to lay on top of him to make sure he got it. Does that sound reasonable enough to you?" 

Anita considered that before asking, "Would you really go through with it?" 

He didn't need to ask which part she meant, he just nodded, because yeah, of course. He'd make sure anyone he cared about got enough sleep when they really needed it. 

"Yup, and now I'm gonna go through with getting him to consume something other than caffeine." He said, keeping his voice light as he grabbed the water, coffee, and plate with a sandwich on it, "If you find a hacker we can trust who is as good or better than Robin then please let us know immediately. Otherwise, have fun doing whatever." 

He headed out the door at that, not waiting around to see if she responded. He hoped she would find a hacker, or that Robin would crack the case or whatever the hacking lingo was soon. 

—————————————

The mission was over. They'd all gotten back on the Supercycle ten minutes ago, splitting off to go shower on their own. There was no plan for an immediate post mission debrief. They'd all decided before they even left not to have one until Robin had caught up on sleep and could join in. 

Speaking of Robin. He wasn't in the locker room when he got out of the showers, and funnily enough the stall that he'd watched Robin go into was empty. Kon dared to hope that this meant Robin had just gone to bed all on his own without a fuss. He should be tired enough to do so after three straight days of hacking and then taking out their base physically with the rest of them. 

Kon stretched out his hearing, searching out the other heartbeats in the hotel and found them all grouped near the conference rooms, Robin's was nearby but not with the group. He considered for a moment that Robin might have just collapsed into sleep somewhere and that the rest of the team had found him there, but that definitely wasn't the case. Robin's heart rate hadn't evened out the way it would have if he'd fallen asleep, and if he was in the conference area then Kon was pretty sure he knew why not. 

Cassie, Anita, and Bart were all standing around outside one of the conference room doors, peering in through the windows and knocking on the glass and the door. 

"C'mon Rob, let us in!" Cassie was calling through the door. 

"What's going on?" He asked, though he was already starting to put the pieces together on his own. 

The three of them turned to face him but it was Anita who answered, "Robin locked us out so we wouldn't stop him from writing the mission reports!" She exclaimed, "You need to make good on your promise and get him to go to bed!" 

Kon already had every intention of doing just that, but he was a little side tracked because, seriously? "A locked door stopped a team of super heroes?" 

They all looked a little sheepish at that, "It just happened, we weren't at the breaking it down stage yet." Cassie defended.

Ok, Kon could understand not wanting to do property damage if it could be avoided, it was their home base after all, except, well, "Bart, can't you vibrate through the door and unlock it from the inside?" He pointed out. 

This past few days had been so weird. Kon always maintained that he was plenty smart and cool and mature and all that, but he'd actually been acting like it recently. He kind of hated it actually, he missed when someone else was the brains of their operation. 

"Oh, right. I forgot about that." Bart said and then immediately did just that, the door swinging open a second later. 

Before everyone could rush in though he stopped them, "Woah, hold on. We don't need all of us for this. Let me go in and deal with this alone, you guys can go do whatever." He said, relieving them of worrying-about-Robin duty, then he made eye contact with Anita, "I fully intend to keep my promise, which it's looking like I'll need to if he's actually gonna sleep, so don't wait up for me." 

Anita nodded at that, looking approvingly at him, Cassie looked between the two of them with a confused furrow to her brows, "What promise." 

"Cmon, I'll tell you." Anita said, looping her arm through Cassie's and leading her towards the more casual areas of the hotel. 

He turned to Bart who was looking worriedly between him and Rob, "You got this on your own? He's real tired so he might get really angry." 

Kon nodded, smiling softly at Bart, "That's alright, I've got this. Like I told Anita, if I have to literally lay on top of him the whole time to make sure he sleeps then I will." 

Bart nodded seriously at that, "Ok good. Let me know if you guys need anything." 

Kon nodded, patting Bart on the shoulder as he stepped past him into the room, the faint whoosh signaling the speedster's departure. He closed the door behind him, also making sure to lock it and then put the blinds down over the windows to make sure if any of their teammates came back they wouldn't see whatever was about to happen. He knew they'd all taken his 'lay on top of him if I have to' threat to not really be literal, and, if it was, it would only be enacted in a dire circumstance. They didn't need to know he would've laid on top of Rob without needing a good reason to do so, and they didn't need to witness whatever Kon was gonna do to get the other boy to go to bed. 

"Hey, Rob. You gotta get some sleep dude, C'mon. I promised you could as soon as the mission was over, remember?" He tried, hoping a softer approach might yield better results, "I'll go to sleep with you, and you can pick any cuddle position you want." 

Robin didn't seem to have really heard him though, staring unblinking at the screen with one eye open and typing at random intervals, "Go ahead, I'll be up in a minute." Hey said, and at least Robin could tell the subject if not exactly what had been said. 

"No dude, time for bed now. Whatever you're doing can wait til you've slept. No one's life is in danger anymore." Kon pointed out, reaching to close the laptop but getting his hand smacked away. 

"Gotta finish the mission report. Always gotta do it as soon as the mission is over. Otherwise you can forget things or your memory twists, sooner the better." Robin said, sounding like he was reciting something, or at least trying to if it weren't coming out a little disjointed thanks to the exhaustion, "Besides, I'm not really even tired anymore, I've moved past it." 

"Dude, you can only keep one eye open at a time. You're definitely still tired." He pointed out before leaning over to see what Robin was typing, "Plus, your mission report can wait until you're rested enough to not be misspelling every word." 

Robin squinted, still with only one eye open, "What typos?" He muttered under his breath, and if Kon wasn't so worried about his friend he'd be laughing at the fact that Robin couldn't even see the typos when he looked, before he said louder "Look, I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep right now, I've pushed through the exhaustion enough that I'm not tired anymore, so I might as well get this done before trying to sleep." 

Yeah, Kon didn't believe that for a second, even though it did seem like Robin had genuinely deluded himself into thinking it was true. Now he just had to find a way to goad Rob into realizing he was objectively wrong so Kon could drag him to bed without breaking the laptop or something else a more well-rested Robin would chew him out for. Then it hit him, he already knew how to prove to Robin that he was ready to sleep, he now just had to get his friend to allow it. 

"Wanna bet? I think you're ready to drop right now." He said, putting all the challenge in his voice that he could, hoping Robin's exhaustion was enough to impede his critical thinking skills so he'd agree to a dumb bet without seeing it for what it was.

"I'm not, and I'd be happy to prove it if you'd just let me keep working." Robin rolled his eyes, or, well, eye, and Kon did his best not to give the game away. 

"Fine then, prove it." Kon said, trying to let a little authority into his voice, "For the next five minutes I am allowed to do whatever I want and if you nod off or fall asleep then I win and if you don't nod off or fall asleep then you win." 

Robin's eyes were fixed on him, sharp and assessing before he asked, "What are the stakes?" 

Kon shrugged, not having really thought about it but he was smart enough to know that saying no stakes would get him dismissed, "If you win then you get to stay up and finish the report before going to bed, and if I win then I get to drag you to bed now." 

Robin arched an eyebrow at him, which looked kind of funny since he still only had one eye open, "That's all? You don't actually get anything out of that."

Kon didn't bother that trying to explain that the relief from not having to worry about Robin's sleep deprivation plus the physical touch from going to bed with him were more than enough reward. Rob was too exhausted to process that Kon cared about him and actually wanted to touch him enough that this was a reward, and he didn't want to waste the time trying to argue about it cause it wouldn't go well. Instead he just added to the stakes. 

"Fine, I think you make a funny face when you're embarrassed," he said with all the confidence he could muster, "So if I win then I get to carry you to bed in a princess carry."

Robin's eyes, or eye, narrowed in determination, and his jaw clenched, sitting himself up straighter, "Fine. You have five minutes. Don't be surprised when I win." 

Kon rolled his eyes at that where Rob couldn't see, he was really such a stubborn ass sometimes. He didn't bother responding to what Rob had said, and instead just placed his hands gently on Robin's shoulders. He started rubbing them back and forth, making sure his palms dipped down so he was rubbing over his friend's collarbones and then spreading from there. Slowly but surely covering the area from his upper arms to part of his rib cage. It wouldn't have worked under normal circumstances. Sure, Robin always seemed to find having his skin rubbed soothing and relaxing, but it normally wouldn't have immediately put him to sleep. He was beyond exhausted though, and had just needed a little push over the edge, so in this case Robin couldn't resist. 

Somewhere a little after the two minute mark, Robin's head drooped far enough that Kon caught it with his TTK to stop him from jolting himself back awake. He reached one arm around his now sleeping friend and hit save on the document before shutting off the laptop, partly because he wasn't a monster and partly because he wanted Robin to see all the typos later. 

Things went a bit wrong when he was getting Robin out of the chair into his arms, though Kon wasn't sure what exactly had jolted Robin awake. 

"No, Kon, I need to-" he immediately started to protest. 

"Nope. You lost our bet so you're getting carried to bed." Kon informed him bluntly before, now that he didn't need to be so gentle, swooping Rob into his arms in a princess carry, "Don't be a sore loser, Rob." 

Robin was predictably mortified at the princess carry, and it gave Kon enough time to get him half way to his bedroom before Robin regained speech. 

"Is the princess carry really necessary?" He asked, face still red. 

"No, but you lost the bet after agreeing to the terms so yes." Kon laughed, floating them up a staircase. 

Robin crossed his arms over his chest and glowered, which made Kon laugh hard enough he snorted. He was pretty sure that if Robin wasn't so exhausted then he'd be rolling his eyes at him. They made it to Kon's room soon after that, and he tossed Robin at the bed, and laughed some more when he bounced upon landing. 

"You're such an asshole." Robin muttered, even as he burrowed his way under Kon's comforter, apparently no longer bothering to pretend he didn't need sleep.

"Takes one to know one." He shot back easily enough as he crawled into the bed behind Robin, "Besides I'm the asshole cuddling you, so you're not allowed to be mean to me." 

Robin grumbled something unintelligible to even Kon's super hearing and rolled over and wriggled his way right into Kon's space before slumping down with his head on Kon's chest. He felt a fond sort of amusement swell behind his ribcage at the action, even as he wrapped his arms around Robin, letting one of them stroke up and down the other boy's spine. 

Robin was dead asleep in under a minute, and Kon felt like he could finally relax.

Chapter Text

The first time Robin came to Kon to enact their arrangement for his own sake was in the middle of the night. He'd previously been dead asleep, but was woken by the sound of a pounding heartbeat and the squeaking hinges on his bedroom door. 

He sat up, rubbing at his eyes as he listened to the racing heartbeat for a moment before he realized whose heartbeat it was. He froze for a moment before scrambling out of bed because anything that had Rob's heartbeat sound like that was garunteed to be real bad. 

"Rob, what-?" He cut himself off, freezing where he was standing a bit awkwardly by his bed as he processed what exactly he was seeing now that his eyes had adjusted to the low lighting provided by the moonlight filtering in through the window. 

Robin wasn't scared or ready for battle. Well, he was scared, he was just also upset. He looked sleep rumpled, still in the sweats and t-shirt he wore as pajamas and there was a pillow mark on one half of his face. His breathing was a bit heavy too, and Kon could swear there was a slight tremor in his hands. Almost as if he'd- oh. 

"I, uh, on our list of stuff to try, we put sleeping together after a nightmare, and we agreed we'd have to wait until one of us actually had a nightmare to try it out." Robin explained, the slightest of tremors in his voice, and Kon could see how wide his eyes were as they darted around the room and how forcefully he was rubbing at his own collarbones, "I had a nightmare, so, um, I'm here. I don't have to be though, it's the middle of the night and I've woken you up and I probably shouldn't have. I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"I'm glad you came." Kon stated bluntly, inarguably, and truthfully. 

The thing was, that Robin's explanation for seeking Kon out wasn't quite true and he knew it. If checking off the list item was what this was about then this wasn't how Robin would've done it. No, Robin would have waited until he'd calmed down after the nightmare before he sought out Kon. Rob had let himself come here still freaked out and upset because he wanted comfort, specifically from Kon, and likely physical comfort specifically. 

"Rob, can I touch you?" He asked, cause it was always important to ask, and it was especially important considering Robin's visible upset. 

Robin nodded quickly, though he didn't step any further into the room. The rubbing at his collarbones intensified and spread to include his shoulders and a bit of his upper arms too. Kon stepped towards him and reached his arms out, intending to pull Rob directly into his arms. As soon as his hands got within a few inches of Robin though he jerked back hard enough that his back hit the door. 

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" Rob apologized, sounding totally breathless now, "I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry." 

"Hey, woah, it's ok! You don't need to apologize if you don't want me to touch you, that's totally cool dude." Kon tried to reassure him pulling his hands back, "I'm glad you came, even if you don't want touch right now."

"I'm being difficult." Robin argues, like that's somehow the worst thing he could be, or even true for that matter.

"Yeah, and I was being real easy to handle for two and a half weeks while I was trying to pick fights with Brenner every day instead of just telling one of you what was going on." Kon pointed out, wishing he could pull Rob into his arms already but unable to do so until the other boy was ok with it.

Robin just shook his head though, "That- you- it made sense. You had actual reasons to be worried about that. I- I don't. My- it didn't make sense. I shouldn't be having-"

Robin shook his head again and then seemed to be done talking for the moment. Kon wasn't entirely sure what the problem was, Robin's explanation was in too many jagged pieces for him to puzzle together easily, so he took a guess.

"Rob, we all get nightmares. That's pretty normal for us, there's nothing wrong with you for that." He tried assuring him, "Plus, I can think of a ton of very valid reasons for you to have nightmares just off the top of my head." 

Robin was shaking his head again, so Kon knew he'd guessed wrong, "No, I know. I just- this one- it doesn't make sense, I shouldn't be having it." 

Ok, so this was about the specific nightmare Robin had had, which he supposed made way more sense for him to be upset about than just having nightmares in general. Kon probably should've figured that out sooner. 

"Nightmares don't always make sense. That's totally fine Rob, I'm not gonna like judge you for that. I just- I dunno, I want to make you feel better, I guess." He shrugged, even with how comfortable they'd gotten with each other physically at this point, emotional talk was still always uncomfortable, "Can you let me do that? Please."

It took a while, but eventually Robin nodded, and Kon let out a breath of relief. Great, he'd gotten Robin to give permission for Kon to help, that was half the battle. Now he just had to actually help Robin while making sure Rob didn't reject the help at every turn. It was like pulling teeth, but Kon couldn't say he was any better about it when he was the one freaking out so it's not like he could judge. 

"Alright, so right now touch is a no." He started, and Robin made a frustrated noise at that, so Kon quickly added, "Which is totally fine, and if you change your mind about it later then just say so and I can hug you or whatever you want, but for now it's totally fine, I swear!" 

Robin just slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest, "I'm sorry I'm being so difficult." 

Kon sat down across from him cause that felt way better than, like, looming over him or whatever, "For the record, I don't even think you are being difficult, but also I wouldn't really care if you were. You're my friend, that's all that really matters to me, not how easy you are to handle. Besides, easy is boring anyway, and I'm Superboy so I gotta keep things interesting, ya know, for the ladies." 

Robin stared at him in disbelief, "How do you manage to be such an asshole and also so... so, I don't know, kind?" 

Kon just shrugged, "One of my many talents, I guess." 

Robin rolled his eyes, and Kon hadn't technically been intending to distract him, but it was kind of working. Rob's heart rate had evened out a bit, even though it was still fast, so he took the win. 

"So anyway, touching is a no. Is there something else we could do?" He asked, tentatively, "I mean, I could try, like, singing a lullaby, but I don't actually know any, and I'm not sure if I'm actually any good at singing." 

That got a small huff of laughter out of Robin, and Kon almost beamed at his success. He refrained though, just letting a small smile tug at his lips in a way he hoped was reassuring. 

"As much as I'd love to hear you try..." Rob muttered. 

Kon nodded, having already expected it to be a no and mostly just having said it to relax Robin a bit more, "Do you..." he started a bit hesitantly, "Do you wanna try talking it out? Your nightmare, I mean. You said it didn't make sense, maybe we could figure it out if you talked about it?" 

It was a little underhanded, presenting it as a mystery that they could solve to get Robin to open up. It wasn't so underhanded that Rob couldn't just refuse if he decided he didn't want to though, so Kon felt fine about it. Besides, he didn't know how to help Rob if he didn't actually tell him what was wrong.

Robin seemed to consider it for a while, and Kon did his best to wait patiently, and was eventually rewarded with a, "It's this reoccurring nightmare I have. It comes back every couple months or so. I don't really understand why I have it because it wouldn't ever happen in real life, and I hate that I have it because it puts other people in my life in a really negative light, and it's not fair to them." 

Ok, so that was a start, even if Kon didn't fully understand what that last bit meant, "What happens in the dream?" He asked after a moment, hoping to gain some clarity on the matter. 

Robin sucks in a sharp breath, "I- um, it's- I'm a civilian, in this one. I come home from school in the afternoon, and, well, you've been to my house you know it's empty most of the time. So I come home, and I expect it to just be me, but my parents are there. They're in the kitchen waiting for me, sitting at the dinner table while dinner finishes cooking in the oven, and I'm happy to see them, I'm really happy to see them." 

Robin looks awful as he says that last bit, like there's somehow something wrong with him for being happy to see his own parents. It makes something twist in Kon's stomach. 

"When I come into the room, they greet me, and my mom waves me over to her. She tells me to sit in her lap. She says that she misses when I was little and used to do that." Robin shakes his head, "I'm too old for it, obviously. I know that, but she's asking me to do it, and she's my mom, and I- I only get to even just hug her a couple times a year, so I do it anyway." 

Robin's eyes dart up to his, a faint flush coloring his cheeks, like he'd just admitted something embarrassing. Maybe he had, but then again, Kon had literally laid himself out in Robin's lap to get his stomach rubbed and openly admitted to enjoying it, so he doubted he had the room to judge. Robin rushed on with his explanation before he could've even if he wanted to though. 

"And it's- the rest of the dream plays out- do you remember when I told you about that guy who they tortured and killed on the pollen?" Robin asks, staring at Kon a bit intensely now, "The one who cheated on his wife a ton?" 

Kon had a really terrible feeling that he knew where this was going, "Yeah, I remember." He nods. 

"It plays out like that, I guess. My mom, it starts with her rubbing her hand up and down my back, and then she starts scratching lightly with her nails while she does it, and it feels really nice. Then she starts doing it harder, but I don't say anything, because y'know, beggars can't be choosers and all that." Robin explains, his nails digging into skin where his hands are squeezing his upper arms in a firm grip, "It gets to the point where I feel her start to draw blood before I say anything. Except when I finally do tell her that I think she's hurting me she just shushes me and tells me to be good and stay still. And I do. I stay still even when she picks up the knife from the place setting, and I stay still when my dad gets up and takes off his belt and starts- I just, I stay there. I know that I can get up at any time and they'll stop, but I don't cause if I get up then they'll stop touching me and I- I just can't. It just keeps going until I wake up." 

Kon both feels the urge to kill someone and the urge to throw up bubbling up in him. He's not sure which would win, and he doesn't think either is the response he needs to have right now so he tamps it down. There's one echoing concern bouncing around frantically in his mind that he needs to get out immediately anyway. 

"Rob, have your parents ever-" he starts, but doesn't get any further before Robin interrupts. 

"No! They've never! They never would either. I- Kon they love me I swear." Robin exclaims, tone so sure that Kon has no choice but to believe him, "That's why it makes no sense! I have absolutely no reason to fear my parents ever hurting me. I hate the dream so much because it makes them bad guys and they aren't! They're my parents and they love me and- and this is how I repay that? By making them the villains in my mind?" 

Wow, Kon had not expected Robin to turn this self-deprecating so fast. He needed to get this train back on its tracks before Rob spiraled. 

"Ok, hold on a second. You having a nightmare doesn't actually reflect reality or how you view other people in reality!" Kon tried to reason, "I mean, it's a reflection of your worries and fears more than it's a reflection of anyone else! You probably just have a fear of the pollen and what it could do to you and it has nothing to do with your parents at all." 

Something shifted in Robin's eyes, and when he spoke it was with a dead sounding voice, "You're right." He said, and Kon was pretty sure however Rob had interpreted what he said was not at all right, "I am the problem. I- there's no pollen in the dream Kon, it's just me. I do all that with no pollen making me. I- Im just that desperate all on my own. That's what I'm scared of, isn't it? I'm afraid of  how desperate I am, that I'd just let that happen just for another moment of someone touching me. It doesn't even have to be a kind touch. And I- I should be scared, look at me! I just had a crystal clear warning sign of how bad it could be that I'm so desperate for someone to touch me and what did I do immediately afterwards? I came to you, hoping you'd touch me! I- there's something really wrong with me." 

Holy shit had Robin spiraled fast. They all had at least one major freak out every week or two on average, and Robin was no exception to that, but it still sometimes surprised Kon how quickly Robin managed to hit terminal velocity as he crashed. 

"Ok, hold on a second." Kon said, holding his palms out in what he hoped was a calming gesture, "That's- I'm pretty sure that that can't possibly be right. I mean, like, yeah you're touch starved and that makes you feel like you're desperate for touch, it makes me feel like that too. It doesn't control your actions though, I know it doesn't because you literally tore yourself away from people multiple times when you were on the pollen, and even when you're not you don't run around begging for it or anything!" He tried to reason, cause he knew Robin, and he knew a solid reasoning was the best way to help him calm down. 

Robin shook his head, "Isn't that what I did by coming here?" 

"What? No! Of course not! You coming here literally makes sense anyway!" Kon argued, hoping that Robin wouldn't overthink what he was saying, cause Kon knew he couldn't out reason Rob if he really decided to commit to the spiral, "Look, you and me, we're- we feel desperate cause we're touch-starved, right? The best way to fix that is to actually start getting touch on the reg, right? That's literally the whole point of our friends with benefits arrangement dude. So you did exactly what you should have done by coming here, that way you'll be less desperate. Why resist it when we can fix it!" 

Robin was quiet for a minute, seeming to consider that, and Kon couldn't help but hold his breath and hope it'd worked. He wished he was better at this sort of stuff, but he wasn't so all he could do was feel a little panicked and a little out of place and full of desperate hope that it'd work out somehow anyway. 

"You really shouldn't call it a friends with benefits arrangement." Robin said eventually, "It'll give people the wrong idea." 

Kon rolled his eyes, "First of all, no it won't cause we aren't telling other people, second of all, it's fun to tease you with it so no." 

Robin rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything more on the subject, and it was just then that Kon noticed how exhausted he looked. Robin kind of always looks at least a little bit tired, and he had a tendency to work too hard and either not sleep unless forced or to crash in some corner somewhere for random power naps so that made sense. He looked like he was a bit more than just physically tired though, which also made sense given the nightmare. It made Kon have the sudden and slightly weird urge to wrap him all up in a blanket like a burrito though. 

He chose the slightly more normal option and instead asked, "You look pretty beat dude, do you wanna try going back to sleep?" 

Robin nodded, and then said, "Yeah. And um, Kon, can-" he didn't finish, seeming like he wasn't sure how to, but he did hold both his hands out towards Kon so he got the message anyway. 

"Yeah, of course." Kon angled what he hoped was a soft smile at Rob before he stood up and reached for Robin's outstretched hands. 

He grasped them and used them to pull Rob to his feet as well before wrapping him in a tight hug and just rocking them there for a second. It felt good, really good, like a rush of relief to finally be able to touch Robin. It felt a bit like he was finally being good, being useful, and helping his friend. Like he could actually help, actually do good, in a way he understood and knew how to do. Hell, he and Rob had spent weeks studying and preparing together to be able to do just this and it felt like a payoff to finally actually be able to help in a way he probably would have failed to do before. Plus, it felt like such a boost to know that Robin had trusted him enough to come to him, to let him help. That he'd wanted Kon in the same way that Kon wanted him, and that he hadn't managed to somehow screw it up yet like he usually did. 

"Cmon." He murmured, pulling Robin and himself towards the bed, "It's bedtime for birdies." 

He didn't need to see Rob's face to know he'd rolled his eyes at that, but he didn't say anything, so Kon didn't tease anymore. Instead they just got into bed and Kon used his TTK to pull the comforter over them. Robin was on his side so Kon wrapped himself around his friend's back with his arm over his chest and his other under his own pillow. Robin seemed to somehow push himself further back into Kon even though they were already as close as they could really be, and he wrapped his own arm around Kon's arm and hugged it to his chest. Almost like he was scared it was going to be taken away, and Kon wanted to tell him that it wouldn't, that he wouldn't let go, but he figured this would be one of those situations where actions spoke louder than words. So he just tightens his arm around Robin's chest and hoped that would be enough for now, and it did seem to be because soon enough Robin was drifting off and Kon was close behind. 

...............................................

"You are not going to believe this!" Cissie exclaimed as soon as her friends, plus Anita, had made it through the door to her and Traya's school dorm, "I just got off the phone with my agent-"

"You have an agent?" Cassie asked, but Cissie just ignored her. 

"-And they want me to do a guest shot on the TV show…!" She continued on, excitement practically bursting out of her because this was seriously the most awesome thing ever, "Are you ready? Are you sitting down for this?" 

"Well no, obviously we're not sitting down." Anita pointed out, gesturing to how they were all standing. 

She always had to be such a know it all, so contrary. She just, ugh, Anita would just pop up and point out everything contrary even if you could've gone your whole freaking life without ever even considering any of that stuff, and- whatever, she cut those thoughts off. Cissie was too excited to let it be ruined by thoughts of Anita. 

"Sit!" She ordered instead, and Traya, Cassie, and Anita all parked it on Traya's bed.

"Ok fine, we're sitting! What's the show?" Cassie asked, all three of them blinking up at her. 

Showing was better than telling, so Cissie just pointed at the Wendy the Werewolf Stalker poster she and Traya had taped to the door. 

It took them a second to realize what she meant so she got to watch that realization wash over their face. First their eyes widened and their jaws dropped and then next thing Cissie knew and they were leaping off the bed and screeching in excitement. She joined them easily, jumping around the room excitedly as they all lost their minds over the opportunity she'd gotten.

"And Frank- that's my agent- said that in addition to my mom, they'd pay for me to bring friends along!" She continued, sharing the even better news, "So you two are coming!" She finished putting a hand in Cassie's and Traya's shoulders and shaking them excitedly. 

"We are?!" Cassie exclaimed excitedly, "And we're gonna meet the cast?!" 

"The whole cast?!" Traya added on, equally as excited. "I think Superboy really likes that actress who plays Wendy. Are you gonna fix it so he can meet he-"

Traya was cut off by Cassie butting in, "No, she's not!" She exclaimed, though it sounded a bit like an order before she seemed to realize how sharp her tone had been and added more sheepishly, "I mean... no. This is a just-us-girls thing right Cissie?" 

Cassie was so see through, god, how did Kon not know about her crush on him? It was so painfully obvious and Cissie just wished... well, it didn't really matter what she wished anyway. 

"Righhhhht," Cissie drawled, drawing some amusement into her tone so she didn't sound too harsh in her teasing, "It's not like you have a vested interest in-"

Cassie rushed to cut her off, "Nope! No vested interest at all!" 

Cissie was about to continue teasing her when all the sudden Anita piped up. 

"Just us girls, that's nice." She scoffed. 

Cissie had almost forgotten she was there, or at least she'd been trying to forget that Anita was there, not that she'd ever managed to succeed. It was pretty impossible to forget Anita even with her not right there after what'd happened at the Olympics. 

"And that apparently doesn't include me it seems." Anita finished, arms crossed on her chest and hip cocked to the side as she glared down at Cissie. 

And look, Cissie knew that she'd been pretty cold to Anita, but, to be fair, how was she supposed to not be? After the Olympics and everything that'd happened there Anita had basically just gone on to replace her on the team! How was Cissie meant to react to that?! 

Still, she knew that the others would be disappointed in her if she was a total bitch to Anita, and Cissie also just didn't want to be a mean girl in general, so she tried the nicer approach. 

"It's nothing like that Anita." She tried to assure, even though Anita kinda was being intentionally excluded, "It's just that there's a limited number of people I can bring... so naturally I'm bringing my best friend and my roomie, you understand, right?" 

Anita's posture didn't change but something in her gaze shuttered, "Oh yes, I understand. Perfectly. If you'll excuse me." 

Cissie watched as Anita turned to the door, her shoulders tight with anger. Those same shoulders that- nope. Not finishing that thought. 

"Anita, you don't have to be like that." Cissie tried, because really? 

Wasn't replacing her on the team and in their friend group and taking her- nope. Wasn't all that enough? Did she really have to be there for the special moments in Cissie's life too! The moment she wanted to share with the two girls who she was the closest to on the whole planet? 

"I'm not like anything." Anita said, tension leaving her shoulders as she shrugged, "I'm fine." 

Oh, ok maybe she wasn't that mad? 

"Ok well, that's good to-" Cissie tried before getting the door promptly slammed in her face, "-know." She finished a bit lamely. 

The room was quiet, and awkward tension filling the room as Cissie flopped back on her bed. She bounced a bit a moment later as Cassie threw herself onto the bed next to her. 

"Hey." Cassie said. 

"Hey." Cissie replied easily enough, turning her head to the side so she could actually look at Cassie instead of her shitty popcorn ceiling. 

"You ready to tell me what happened between you two yet?" Cassie asked, arching a brow, "And more importantly, why it made you, like, hate her. Meanwhile she just wants to be your friend?" 

Cissie groaned, "For the millionth time Cassie, nothing has happened between me and Anita. You have literally been there for all of our interactions ever since you introduced us." The first part was a lie, the second part was a technical truth with the key words being 'after you introduced us', "Besides, I don't hate her." 

That part was completely true at least. Whatever the jumble that sat in her chest titled 'Anita' was made up of, if didn't include hate. She admittedly wasn't entirely sure what it did contain, but she knew it wasn't that. 

"So I take it that's a no on you being ready to tell me then." Cassie sighed, completely ignoring everything she just said. 

Whatever, two could play at that game, "Hey Traya, wanna see the script they sent me?" She asked, sitting up to look at where Traya was bouncing on her own bed. 

"Yes!" Traya exclaimed easily, and then they were all moving on from the subject of Anita. 

—————————————-

She was on the plane. Anita Fite was on their goddamn plane. 

She was upstairs- as if it wasn't already crazy enough that a plane had stairs and multiple stories- and she was playing the fucking piano. She was also singing, and she was amazing at it, because of course she was. 

Cissie couldn't believe that Anita had followed them onto a plane going across the country, didn't she have an involved parent to stop her from pulling this sort of shit?

"Hey Cissie, guess what! My dad knows some folks with the airline and they asked if he knew anyone who was interested in working her way coast to coast by playing piano." Anita announced as Cissie made it up the stairs to see her sitting at a piano bench by a full service bar, "Funny coincidence, huh?" 

It was a ridiculous story to go along with her ridiculous appearance on the plane to go along with her ridiculous hair and outfit- god she looked gorgeous, how did she even manage that all the time?- the whole thing was fucking ridiculous. Cissie should be pissed, this was borderline stalking behavior right? Or at least an intentional attempt to sabotage her weekend with Traya and Cassie. So, she should logically be pissed, except she wasn't. She just sort of felt the frustrated kind of tired that she usually felt when she'd exhausted all other options and knew she'd have to face a threat, or mistake, head on. 

"Hilarious." Cissie sighed, crossing her arms across her chest even as she slid onto the piano bench that was small enough that they had to sit with their thighs pressed together. 

"Look, for what it's worth, I'm not mad at you." Anita said, voice painfully sincere as she tried to make the eye contact Cissie was avoiding. 

That was real rich coming from her, after everything, "Why would you be mad at me?" Cissie asked, indignant. 

Anita seemed to ignore her, just adding onto what she was saying before, "Because I understand where your mind is."

Cissie scoffed, "What, one night of getting to know each other and you think you know anything about my mind?" 

Anita started playing the piano again, seemingly an easy enough melody that she could keep talking while she played, but her fingers struck the keys hard and the notes were loud. Loud enough that it was difficult for Cissie to hear her talk, but then she realized it was so no one could overhear what they were saying. That was smart considering there was a high chance Cassie and Traya were trying to listen in. 

"Y'know, I think deciding to be homophobic after hooking up with a girl is a bit of a social faux pas, Cissie." Anita said, and Cissie felt her stomach drop. "Wouldn't you say?"

Even after alluding to it herself, she hadn't expected for Anita to bring up the night they'd met at the Olympics so explicitly. 

"I could've been homophobic before." Cissie shot back and then cringed, cause that really wasn't the part of that statement she wanted to double down on. 

Anita rolled her eyes, "You're not homophobic at all, I know that much. I'm pretty sure you aren't even in denial about or trying to stop yourself from being gay either, actually." She said with a ridiculous amount of confidence considering she couldn't read Cissie's mind. 

"Yeah, and what's your fucking source on that?" Cissie scoffed, glaring at Anita. 

If there was anything Cissie didn't appreciate, it was someone else trying to tell her who she was or what she wanted. She'd had a lifetime of that with her mom already.

"You haven't tried pushing Cassie away, that's how I know." Anita replied easily, like this was a light conversation and Cissie hadn't been practically growling her retorts at her. 

Cissie stiffened as she processed what Anita had said, eventually asking, "What does Cassie have to do with anything?" 

Anita shot her a look that said the answer was obvious, and it kind of was. That didn't mean Cissie had any idea how Anita knew it though. 

"You're in love with her, I know you are. I didn't know that night, but I figured it out pretty soon afterwards." Anita stated bluntly, nothing whatsoever to soften the blow Cissie had been trying to avoid for a while now, "You know that you are too, even if you didn't before the Olympics, there's no way you haven't figured it out since. If you had some sort of issue with being gay then you would've tried to distance yourself from her in some way so you could try and stop yourself from being gay or whatever, but you didn't. So you're probably not homophobic or, like, mad you like girls." 

Cissie didn't have much to say to that. Anita was startlingly accurate in her understanding of her. Cissie hadn't known she'd liked girls before that night when they'd literally run into each other by the hotel ice machine and then had spent the night together, but she wasn't stupid enough to try going into denial about it once she woke up wrapped up in Anita the next morning. She also wasn't dumb enough to not figure out that she was head over fucking heels for Cassie as soon as she so much as considered being attracted to girls because who the hell else would she even have feelings for if it wasn't Cassie? 

There was nothing to be accomplished by hating herself or trying to stop herself from liking girls. Sure she wasn't about to go telling anyone for a number of reasons, but she wasn't upset with herself over it. 

"That's how I know that what happened between us back then isn't at all what any of your issues with me are coming from." Anita tacked on, volume of her playing decreasing to a much slower and softer song. 

"Right, and you know that how, exactly?" Cissie demanded. 

"Because I understand where your mind is." Anita repeated her words from earlier and shot Cissie a knowing look. 

"Right." Cissie's rolled her eyes, trying to act disbelieving but a bit concerned because Anita had been right so far. 

"Nobody wants to believe that they're replaceable. That life goes on without them. Whether you admit it or not, some small part of you wanted Young Justice to be so devastated by your departure that they'd be unable to continue." Anita said, eyes closed as her fingers danced across the piano keys, "Either that or they'd keep begging you to come back until you gave in. Except you turned around and there I am, your 'replacement', and that makes you feel threatened." 

"I don't feel threatened by you!" She huffed, because at least she could protest that much when the rest of it was true. 

And Anita was right about the rest of it. Cissie had felt a little bit bad when Young Justice hadn't collapsed without her, even though that wasn't actually what she wanted. And every time one of them tried to convince her to come back to the team she did feel a curl of something warm and pleased in her chest, even though that also wasn't actually what she wanted. 

"Good, because I don't feel I replaced you." Anita says matter of factly, "Nobody can. All I did was join after you'd left." 

Yeah, she'd just conveniently joined immediately after that night at the Olympics and pretty immediately become friends with all of Cissie's friends to boot. 

"Fine. Whatever." She said, moving to stand up from the piano bench. 

"Cissie, whatever circumstances led to me being in that mall the day you collared that crook, call it kismet or luck or a guiding angel, whatever." Cissie stopped, her back still turned to Anita, but she was listening now at the mention of one of the last feats of superhero-ing she'd ever performed, "I saw you in action and suddenly I knew that's what I wanted to do with my life. Since then I've learned that that was exactly what you didn't want to have happen... that you didn't want people imitating you, and I'm not imitating you, I'm inspired by you." 

Cissie could tell that last sentence was supposed to be heartwarming, but it wasn't. It felt like a weight around her neck. The difference between ‘imitating’ and ‘inspired by’ didn't really matter if it ever ended with the girl behind her dead. Anita was right again, it was exactly what she didn't want. It was exactly why winning gold at the Olympics had felt so amazing even though her arrow shots weren't saving anyone anymore. This way, any other girls she inspired to be like her weren't inspired to put their lives at risk anymore. 

"I know this will annoy you, but I followed you from the mall with my powers. It wasn't hard. I followed you back to Cassie's place, and then to your school when Cassie's mom drove you back." Anita continued speaking, powering on even though she seemed nervous, "I invaded your privacy, I admit it, and I apologize, but... well, I... I know you're thinking 'she wanted to be a superhero'." 

That's exactly what Cissie was thinking, because wasn't that exactly what Anita had just said, what every die-hard little girl, Arrowette fan had said too? What she'd realized after the ego boost of fame had worn off was likely to get one of those little girls killed one day. Anita wasn't a little girl, she was the same age as Cissie, but that didn't mean it wouldn't be awful if she died after being 'inspired' by Cissie too, 

"But that's not what I wanted!" Anita stressed, sincerity dripping off her words, "I wanted to be your friend." 

Since when? Cissie's head was spinning because at no point had she considered that to be Anita's motivation. Maybe she should have at least considered the possibility somewhere around the time of the baseball game to save the universe. Anita had reached out to her multiple times then, but it'd been too soon after the Olympics and Cissie had only just realized she liked girls and Cassie and had thought Anita was trying to make a move in front of Young Justice and more importantly Cassie. It hadn't been til way later after setting her up with Lobo that Cissie had started letting her guard down about Anita not making a move on her. 

In hindsight the date with Lobo was a way harsh method of letting Anita know she wasn't interested, especially considering in hindsight Anita hadn't even been trying to make a move or tell anyone else about that night anyway. 

Cissie had been aware that she'd been a bit of a bitch to Anita, but had she actually been a total bitch this whole time? Shit! She has, hasn't she?

"Aw, mon, I'm butchering this. It's coming out all wrong." Anita let out a little groan of frustration, as if she was somehow the problem when Cissie was realizing for the first time that the problem might be mostly her, "Look, bottom line: I wouldn't hurt you for the world. If it will help things be better just tell me to quit the team and I'll-"

One more test couldn't hurt, especially when Anita had served it up so perfectly. 

"Quit the team." Cissie ordered, not even letting the other girl finish making her offer. 

"Fat chance, blondie!" Anita shot back immediately. 

It was the correct answer, Cissie loved her friends and former teammates and even though she couldn't keep doing the superhero gig, she still didn't want whatever new teammate they had to be a flake. 

They stared at each other for a tense moment before bursting out laughing. It was the first time she'd felt actual kinship with Anita in the whole time she'd been on Young Justice. It felt nice, Cissie had to admit that she wouldn't mind feeling like this a bit more often. 

.......................................

Tim had just gotten back from patrol, sliding through his window and into his bedroom. It was only a little after midnight. Batman now had strict rules about week-day patrol times during the school year. He hadn't always, not for Tim at least, but, acoording to Alfred, he was now trying a bit more when it came to his relationship with Tim. Which Tim had been under the impression was strictly professional, or as professional as it could be when Tim was somewhat responsible for his well-being and they were working together as vigilantes, but whatever. 

He supposed it meant Bruce was getting better, or at least better than he'd been after Jason had died. That was an admittedly but understandably low bar, but progress was still progress. So he supposed that, even though he now had what was effectively a curfew for the first time in his life, he should probably be happy about it. 

Dick had also said that the school-day patrol schedule was just B showing he cared. Tim thought that, as someone who didn't have many people consistently around that cared about him, he should probably be happy about that too. It was just that, the same with his parents working so much to provide for him, someone caring about him still meant more time alone at home. 

He got started on his homework. He'd been good so far this quarter at staying ahead on his schoolwork just in case Robin got in the way of him completing assignments on time. (He'd learned that lesson with many all-nighters last semester). So the homework he was working on wasn't due til the end of the week. 

He'd showered back at the cave, but he was still a bit keyed up after the trap he'd almost walked right into set-up by some drug dealers on patrol. Even after he'd avoided the trap it'd still been a bit of a rough fight, leaving him the kind of tired that left him keyed up instead of the type that would've let him fall asleep as soon as he'd climbed through his window. So, until his essay on Shakespearean poetry bored him enough to fall asleep, he was stuck at his desk. 

Or, at least, that was how he'd thought he was going to be spending the rest of the night. Instead, about fifteen minutes into his essay there was a knocking sound coming from his window.

He shot out of his desk chair, grabbed the collapsible bow staff he had stuck to the underside of his desk and whipped to face the window. He kept the staff collapsed and behind his back, that way if this was a threat for civilian Tim Drake he'd be able to act defenseless. 

There was a dark face floating outside his window, and it took him a moment too long to realize it was just Kon and not some specter.

His face was dark, covered in something, dirt maybe? Or no, it was soot, Tim realized once he'd thrown the window open and was hit by the scent of smoke clinging to Kon, even after the likely high speed flight he'd been on before landing on his windowsill. 

"Hey, Kon, what-" he cut himself off as he took Kon in. 

He was visibly distressed, eyes wide with something a bit desperate and wild in them. His hands were shaking, actually all of him seemed to have a slight tremor, and he didn't have that trademarked cocksure grin that he wore both when he was actually feeling cocksure and to cover up when he wasn't. 

"Come in." He said, restarting his assessment of the situation. 

He held out a hand to Kon, letting him choose whether or not he took it, and was glad he did so when Kon seemed to struggle with the decision. He eventually did take it, grip light but still there and Tim used it to gently pull him in. 

"Hey," he greeted softly, raking his eyes up and down Kon's body to check him for injuries, but all he saw was soot and where his jacket and uniform was in burnt tatters, "Are you hurt?" 

It was the most important question, but Kon scoffed like it wasn't. 

"No." He said, sounding bitter even around the way his voice was crackling thanks to what Tim assumed was smoke inhalation. 

It was painfully obvious that Kon had been in a fire somewhere, and a big one at that. Tim wasn't sure of much else though, he hadn't looked at the news during or after patrol. 

"You wanna tell me what happened?" Tim asked, trying to keep his voice gentle cause Kon seems like he was on the edge of some sort of breakdown right now, "Do you need Robin's help or did you come here for our arrangement?" 

Kon shrugged, "The arrangement. This is uh, what we’re supposed to do right? I'm supposed to find you when I- when... y'know." 

Tim did know, and it was only because Kon was both clearly upset and had also been good when Tim went to him that he didn't tease Kon for not being able to say it. 

"Would you like a hug?" Tim asked instead, holding his arms out to his sides and trying to look as open and welcoming as he knew how to. 

Kon took half a step forward, like he was about to just fall forward into Tim's arms before he stopped, swayed for a minute, froze, and then took a step back and shook his head. 

"I can't." Kon shook his head again, looking upset by the idea, "I'm too dirty." 

Kon was admittedly covered head to toe in soot, and he reeked of smoke, but Tim didn't really care about that. 

"Dude, I'm in an old T-shirt and boxers, I don't really care if my clothes get dirty." He pointed out, gesturing to his less than stellar apparel before fixing Kon with a serious look, "The only thing I care about is that you get a hug if you need one." 

Kon hesitated at that, and Tim knew he almost had him, "You sure?" Kon asked, looking at Tim's outstretched arms with barely concealed desperation. 

"100%." He nodded determinedly. 

Tim didn't have to wait long before Kon was folding himself into his arms. It was easy, almost gentle, and Tim suspected Kon was using his TTK to make it so. It was unnecessary, but Tim was pretty sure the gentleness was thanks to Kon's current self-perception and not about him thinking Tim was made of glass so he let it go without comment. Instead he just wrapped his arms tightly around Kon, letting one of his hands trail up the other boy's back until that hand was buried in Kon's hair, which thankfully seemed to do the trick in getting him to relax for a second.

Only for a second though because soon enough Kon was tensing up again and muttering an "I'm sorry." Into Tim's shoulder. 

Tim wasn't sure what Kon was apologizing for, but he was fairly certain it was for something he didn't need to, "Did you follow the flight path?" 

Kon nodded against his shoulder, "Yeah, course I did." 

Tim squeezed him a bit tighter, "Then you have nothing to be sorry for." 

He was hoping it'd relieve some of Kon's tension, but instead his friend just pulled away and looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. 

"Rob, I- I messed up." He said, whispering the last bit like he was confessing something awful. 

Tim felt something nervous twist in his chest, and he hoped that Kon wasn't in any sort of trouble. 

"What do you mean?" He asked carefully. "Are we in some sort of danger?" 

Kon shook his head though, "Dangers over." He sounded almost dead with how emotionless his tone was as he confessed, "I just couldn't save them all." 

A chill ran down Tim's spine at both his friend’s tone and words, "What happened?" 

It was too close to the tone he used when he demanded mission reports, but Tim needed to know now who 'them all' was and if there were any immediate repercussions from whatever fire Kon was coming from that needed Robin's immediate attention. He hoped not, he wanted to comfort Kon from whatever exactly had happened tonight, but the safety of the team and his friends always came first. 

"There was a factory explosion, a little outside Metropolis. 123 workers. 14 near the center of the blast that were dead before I got there. 6 more that died of burns or smoke inhalation before I got there elsewhere in the factory." Kon began rattling off immediately, voice still eerily dead sounding, "Exits and entrances blocked off by debris. I pulled out 87 people before all I found to pull out were bodies." 

Tim was good enough at math and reading between the lines to hear what Kon was really saying. There had been 16 people who were presumably alive when he'd arrived who he'd pulled out as corpses. Tim knew Kon well enough to know that 87 wasn't enough to make up for 16 to him, really 87 wouldn't have even been enough to make up for 1 to him. Not that it would've been any better for Tim if it had been him in that situation, and he felt something in his chest collapse a bit when he realized that Kon had come here for comfort but there wasn't anything Tim could do that could make the phantom weight of 16 bodies leave Kon's shoulders. 

"That wasn't your fault." Tim tried anyway, trying to insert every bit of surety into his voice, "Kon, you did everything you could. The fact that you saved 87 people is a miracle under those circumstances." 

Kon was shaking his head though, and Tim felt a flash of irrational fear run through him at the tears in his eyes. As much as Kon definitely deserved to cry right now, Tim wasn't really sure what he'd do if he actually did. 

"You weren't there, Rob. You haven't even seen it in the news or anything." Kon argued, which was admittedly true, but it still didn't change anything, "For all you know I could've screwed everything up and it was all my fault."

Tim was already shaking his head because no way, "No, I know you. I know you did everything you could for every single one of those people Kon-El." He insisted, not having to put any effort into the confidence in his tone, "We've all had bad rescues, people we couldn't save. It's not. your. fault." 

Kon sucked in a sharp breath, looking off to the side for a second before he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes harshly, "I swear I've gone over it in my head a million times, trying to find a  way that I could've gotten to them all in time, but I- I'm only one person and there were 103 people that needed to be saved. I didn't- the exits and entrances were all blocked so the firefighters couldn't get in to pull people out and the people couldn't get themselves out so it really was only me. People were already on the verge of dying by the time I got there so even with my powers I couldn't have cleared an entrance without letting some of them die in the process, so really that would just have been trading lives. Maybe if I'd known ahead of time then I could've brought Bart and we could've made it work but there was no time. If I was Superman then I bet I could've done it, but I-"

"It wasn't your fault." Tim cut him off because he was just working himself up more than he was getting the negative thoughts out at this point, "Sometimes you can't save everyone and that's not your fault."

"I can't make it stop feeling like it is though." Kon said, looking at Tim like he had the answers to everything, but he didn't. 

"I- I'm sorry Kon, I don't know how to do that either." Tim said, wishing he could hug Kon again cause that was all he really knew how to do, but he wouldn't do that unless Kon indicated that was what he wanted, "All I know to do is tell you it wasn't your fault."

Kon's lips turned up just a bit in a tired smile, "No special bat-training on the subject?" 

Tim couldn't help the snort that came out of him, "Trust me, if he could let go of deaths that weren't his fault then he wouldn't be Batman." 

Kon raised an eyebrow in curiousity, "There's a story there." 

"Not one I'm telling you." Tim shrugged, "Not my secrets to share." 

Kon nodded, "Yeah, alright, fair enough." 

Tim let out a huff of air that was half amusement half tension being released, "Great, now that we've got that settled, how about you wash off and then we'll do whatever you want. Nothings off the table hair pets, stomach rubs, the works if you want it." 

Kon just blinked at him, something unreadable in his expression. It took a while before he said anything, and when he did it was just a quiet and baffled, "Why?" 

Now it was Tim's turn to blink in surprise, "Um, because you've had a really bad night and you deserve to be able to relax properly?"

Also it was the only way Tim knew to make Kon feel better and he was feeling pretty useless right now, but that answer was kinda selfish so it felt like maybe he shouldn't say that right now. 

"But I don't." Kon said, brows furrowed in confusion, "You heard me earlier Rob, I- you can't possibly think that I deserve that right now." 

"I can and I do." Tim stated firmly, "It wasn't your fault so there's absolutely no reason why you wouldn't deserve it. I can understand that you still feel badly about it anyway, I probably wouldn't be any better, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat you badly."

Kon stared at his feet for a second before mumbling, "There's a really big difference between treating me badly and what you're offering." 

That was true, technically, not that the difference was currently relevant. 

"Kon have I ever, even once, failed to tell you if I thought you'd screwed up?" He asked, already knowing the answer, but needing to remind Kon of that fact. 

Kon sighed, "No, you haven't." 

"Right," he nodded, "Then do you think you can trust my judgement on this one?" 

Tim was admittedly using some mild entrapment here, and also definitely leading the witness, but he was doing it for the greater good, so it was probably fine. 

It took Kon a minute before he hesitantly nodded, "Yeah, alright." 

Tim let out a breath of relief, "Ok, is there any other reason you don't want me to touch you? Or any kinds of touch that are off the table for whatever reason?" 

Kon still looked a bit lost, but he did also consider his answer before saying, "No stomach rubs. That one... it only works if I let it and I don't think I can right now." 

Tim nodded, that was fair enough, he couldn't even manage to stop feeling bad enough about existing on a good day to enjoy that so he wasn't going to judge, "Ok, that's fine, anything else?" 

Kon shook his head, "No, um, not that I can think of." 

"Ok, if you change your mind about anything, just say." He reiterated the rules of their arrangement, "Can I touch you now?" 

Kon nodded, "Yeah, but I should probably clean off before we really do anything." 

Tim already had a plan for that though, a way to give Kon a special treat to really establish exactly how much he thought Kon deserved. 

"C'mon," he said, placing a hand at the small of Kon's back so he could gently guide him over towards the bathroom he had adjoining his bedroom. "Ok, wait here. I'll be right back with the stuff." 

"What stuff?" He heard Kon mutter, but he was already jogging down the hall to his parent's room before he really processed the question. 

He darted through their bedroom as quickly as he could. He'd never liked being in their empty room when they weren't home, it felt weird, a little bit haunted, but like he was the one haunting it. Whatever, the point was it was weird, and he didn't like it, so he always rushed through whenever he had to be in here. He went straight for their bathroom, grabbing the bottles he needed out of the shower and then rushing back out. 

He was back in his own room in about a minute total, and Kon was right where he left him, standing in the middle of the bathroom looking lost. 

"Ok, so I know you've got, like, a whole routine for your hair or whatever, and I don't have special hair stuff. My mom spends a stupid amount on her hair stuff though, so I'm assuming it's pretty nice, or at least hopefully nice enough for your hair." He explained, setting the bottles down on the counter by his sink. 

Kon's eyes widened in shock, "Rob, you really don't have to give me that stuff to use, I'll be fine with whatever's already in your shower." Tim listened as Kon kept talking even as he rushed in and out of the bathroom to set up his plan, "Dude, seriously, I know I brag about my hair a lot, and that's cause it's awesome, but I really don't need all this, besides, I'm sure whatever your rich parents are buying is way nicer than the stuff I'm used to anyway, so- hey, why are you bringing a chair in here? Are you gonna watch me shower or something?" 

Tim rolled his eyes, "Of course not, dumbass." He said, setting the aforementioned chair down with its back to the edge of the sink. 

"Then what- wait, are you going to wash my hair?" Kon asked, sounding shocked as he seemed to have finally pieced what Tim was doing together. 

He grabbed a towel out of the cupboard, folded it and placed it at the edge of the sink so there'd be a cushion for Kon's head and neck, "Yup." He answered popping the 'p', then realized he was being very presumptuous, "Unless, um, you don't want me to?" 

Kon just stared at him for nearly a full minute before he eventually said, "That wasn't on our list." 

Tim balked for a second because, how had he forgotten that this wasn't on their list of tested and approved methods of physical touch? He'd literally been the one to type it all out and everything. It hadn’t even been on their experimentation list, actually, this was uncharted territory.

"Oh, no, I guess it's not. I just- my girlfriend, or uh, my sorta girlfriend, she told me about how she went to this salon with her mom one time when she was little and she said that they wash your hair, or at least, they washed her moms hair, and she said it looked really nice and that she wanted to go to a salon one day for herself." He tried to explain, suddenly feeling all the awkwardness that he probably should've been feeling the whole time, "I dunno why I just remembered that, but uh, you're hair is pretty dirty right now, and you usually like hair pets, and I figure this probably isn't much different than that. We don't have to do it though, if you don't want to!" 

Kon was still just staring at him, and he did his best not to fidget at all. He knew Kon had figured out that his fidgeting and rubbing at his skin was a sign of him being nervous (among other things) and he didn't want Kon agreeing to something cause he thought it'd make Tim more comfortable somehow. 

"I'm going to get the chair dirty." Was what Kon eventually said. 

Tim shrugged, "I don't really care if you do. I can clean it or even replace it if need be." 

"You sure?" Kon asked, gaze shifting unsurely between the chair and Tim. 

"Positive." He nodded decisively. 

"Ok." Kon said, before gesturing to the chair, "How, uh, how do you want me?" 

Tim shrugged, it was kinda obvious after all, "Just sit and lean your head back, dude." 

Kon did just that, and Tim made sure the towel was under his neck properly. 

"Do I close my eyes?" Kon asked. 

Tim wasn't really sure why they were both so nervous about this. It's not like this wasn't something that got done every day in salons. Tim was just doing it for free because he wanted to drive home the point that Kon deserved good things, even when he didn't manage to save everyone. 

"Yeah, probably." Tim nodded, "That way I won't get stuff in your eyes."

Kon nodded, closing his eyes and letting his head lean all the way back so it was under the tap. Tim looked at the awkward angles he would have to be standing in to make this work and instead just climbed up to perch on the counter near the bowl of the sink. 

He reached for the tap, turning the water on and things immediately went wrong. Kon jolted hard enough he banged his head against the faucet and then groaned. Tim's hands flew to turn off the water and to cradle Kon's forehead, checking him for injuries. 

"I'm so sorry! Oh my god, are you ok?" Tim asked, running his fingers over Kon's forehead and through the hair right above it to check for any bumps or bleeding. 

Kon's eyes had blinked open at some point, and they were staring right up at him now, "Yeah, I'm ok. The water was just cold and it startled me." 

There was something unwavering in his gaze as he stared up at Tim. Something painfully intimate about the position they were in with Tim holding Kon's head and their eyes locked. Tim had blue eyes, just like Kon, but he'd never thought blue eyes could be warm, except he could swear that that's at least how Kon's gaze made him feel right now. 

"I'm ok, Rob." He murmured, and that was when Tim realized his hands had never stopped searching for an injury.

"Right, yeah, sorry." Tim muttered, letting Kon's head go, "I can't believe I forgot to make sure the water was warm. I really just found a whole new way to be bad at physical affection now that I've gotten a bit more comfortable with hugs, huh?" 

He huffed out a breath, meaning for it to be a joke, even if it felt a little too true to fully be a joke. Kon seemed to sense this though, because he was reaching a hand up to squeeze Tim's wrist gently. 

"I'm ok, Rob." He repeated again, voice steady, "And I don't think you're bad at any of it anyway. You definitely aren't any worse than me at least." 

Tim sighed, appreciating the verbal affirmation, even if it still didn't feel entirely true. He didn't say that though, tonight wasn't about digging in to his insecurities, it was about making Kon feel better. 

"Ok, sit up for a bit while I let the water warm up this time." He said instead of saying that he didn't deserve Kon's forgiveness or kindness. 

Kon did so and then twisted his torso so now his elbows were on the back of the chair and he was resting his chin in his hands. Tim felt the weight of his warm gaze on the side of his head as he turned the tap back on and stuck a hand under the water, waiting for it to warm. 

"Y'know, sometimes I think you take the whole bird thing a bit too literally." Kon said absentmindedly after a few moments of quiet. 

"Huh?" Tim asked, still focused on the slowly warming water, "What are you talking about?" 

Kon let out a small huff of disbelieving laughter, "I mean, I haven't spent a ton of time in salons, but I'm pretty sure the hairdressers just stand by the hair washing bowl things, they don't perch on the edges of the sink like a bird on a telephone wire." 

Tim glanced down at himself, both having not thought twice about getting into this position as well as having forgotten he was in it. Kon laughed a bit louder at having noticed that Tim hadn't even done what he'd done on purpose or realized he'd done it. Thankfully the water was warm enough though, so he had an excuse to get Kon to close his eyes and ignore the slightly embarrassed flush making its way up his neck. 

"Ok, c'mon, it's ready this time." He said instead of acknowledging what Kon had noted. 

Kon was looking at him with amusement in his gaze, but he didn't tease Tim anymore, instead he just sat back down properly and tipped his head back again, this time under a warm stream of water.

Things went a lot more smoothly this time around, or, well, he'd never done this before so what did he know, but it at least went a lot closer to Tim's original plan. Kon seemed to enjoy it too, in fact, he basically melted as soon as Tim started massaging the shampoo into his scalp, which was exactly what Tim had been hoping for. 

There were a few small hiccups, like how it took him half a second too long to realize he needed to use one hand to shield Kon's eyes so the soapy water didn't drip down into them. Still though, Kon was very forgiving about all that, and overall seemed to really like the experience, which was exactly what Tim had been hoping would happen, so he was calling the whole endeavor a success. 

As a bonus, he really didn’t mind being on this side of it. It was sort of like hair pets, the repetitive motion of his fingers through Kon’s hair was the right balance of mindless and focused that made him feel very centered. 

After about fifteen minutes, which was as long as he could manage to stretch out the whole experience given how short Kon's hair was, he shut the tap off. 

"All done?" Kon asked, head still laying back in the sink even as he squinted one eye open to look at Tim. 

Tim nodded, "Yeah. You should go shower to wash the rest of you, then we can go to bed, or do something else, if you'd like." 

Kon nodded, stretching his arms over and behind his head as he stood up from the chair by the sink, yawning loudly, "Yeah," Kon agreed, "I'll do that." 

Tim nodded, taking the chair with him as he left the bathroom so Kon could wash off the rest of him. He left the dirty chair by his desk, that was a problem for later Tim. Then he went ahead and changed into pajamas, tossing his previously slightly soot covered clothing in the hamper and gave himself a quick birdbath in the sink of the guest bathroom down the hall so he could get the smudges of soot off his neck and arms. It was a quick affair all around, but Kon's shower was still quicker. How could it not be when he could shower at super speeds after all?

When he got back to his room he found Kon freshly showered and changed into the sweats and T-shirt he kept in Tim's dresser among some other clothing items. He was sitting on the edge of Tim's bed, and his gaze snapped easily to Tim when he came in through the door. 

"Hey, was the shower ok?" He asked, not quite sure what else to say as he closed his bedroom door behind him. 

Kon nodded, "All squeaky-clean." He confirmed with a nod and unenthusiastic jazz hands. “And ready to knock out, I think the adrenaline crash is finally hitting full force.”

Tim winced at that, he could definitely sympathize. He didn’t get adrenaline crashes that were heavy hitting very often. No one in the hero community really did, their bodies were all too accustomed to the highs and lows of adrenaline for their nervous systems to allow their adrenaline to crash in a way that caused actual symptoms. Every once in a while though, for whatever reason, there would be a time where those nasty adrenaline crashes did happen. 

Tim was no exception to any of this, nor was Kon. He usually found that, when possible, it was usually best to just go to bed and sleep it off, and it seemed that’s what Kon wanted to do anyway. 

"Yeah, I'm ready for bed too." Tim nodded his agreement, allowing a yawn to emphasize this before asking, “Any requests on position or whatever?” 

Kon opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it to say, “Can you be the-” he made some sort of gesture with his hands that almost looked like he was outlining a box, “-one, tonight?” 

Tim was sure he’d agree, but he honestly had no idea what that gesture meant. 

Kon must’ve seen something in his expression though because he added, “I just- I think I need to hold someone who is still breathing.” 

He nodded his agreement quickly, stepping right up to Kon. That made way more sense than whatever he was supposed to read from Kon’s previous gesture, plus he was totally down with being the hugee instead of the hugger tonight, especially if that was what Kon felt like he needed. 

“How do you want me?” He asked quietly as he shuffled a bit closer to Kon, and reached out an arm to give him a steady squeeze to his shoulder. 

Kon didn’t answer verbally, instead he caught Tim’s hand in a gentle grip and used his TTK to float Tim’s body into the position he wanted. They ended up on their sides facing each other and Kon’s arms wrapped firmly around him, one going up and down his back and the other cradling the back of his neck where it met his head, keeping him with his face pressed to Kon’s shoulder. It was an immensely comforting and comfortable position. 

“Is this ok?” Kon asked, voice a bit muffled from where his face seemed to be buried in Tim’s hair. 

Tim nodded against Kon’s shoulder, then snaked his arms out from where they’d been curled against his own chest and wrapped them around Kon’s back, squirming just a bit closer to Kon. 

“This ok?” He asked, just to check that the change in position was still alright. 

Kon nodded, and they both relaxed, just breathing together as they let their bodies drift towards sleep. Tim felt like he was about halfway there when Kon piped up to ask. 

“So what’s with this ‘sorta girlfriend’ you mentioned earlier?”

Tim groaned, he’d been hoping Kon had already forgotten about that. No such luck though. 

“It’s complicated.” He answered eventually. 

Kon snorted, “Yeah, I got that much from the ‘sorta’. Why is it complicated?” 

Tim shrugged, “For the same reason as it is with you. I can’t tell her my name and to her that feels like I don’t trust her. Kinda hard to have a girlfriend or any sort of significant relationship when there isn’t an equal exchange of trust.” 

“So she knows you as Robin?” Kon clarified, a bit of understanding tinging his words. 

“Yeah, um, I think you’ve met her briefly actually. She goes by Spoiler.” He explained, seeing no point in not sharing that with Kon.

It wasn’t like he’d go off the rails and attack Steph the way Secret had after all. 

“The purple girl?” Kon asked and when Tim nodded, “Aw, Rob, she’s a total babe! You gotta find a way to not fuck that up!” 

Tim rolled his eyes, “I already know that Kon.” He pointed out. 

“Oh, right yeah, totally, duh.” Kon said, and Tim could tell he was enjoying this conversation way more than Tim was, “So what’s she like?” 

Tim groaned, “I thought we were going to sleep.” He said, burying his face just a bit more forcefully against Kon’s shoulder, trying to avoid this mortifying conversation. 

“Yeah, yeah, alright fine!” Kon snickered, letting the hand cradling the back of his neck come up to pet the top of Tim’s head, “It can be sleepy time for birdies now.” 

Despite the teasing, Kon actually did go quiet, his breathing evening out, a bit, and he managed to stay quiet for a whole minute before he broke it again to say, “Hey, do you think if things didn’t work out between the two of you that she’d be into m-”

“Kon-El, I will throw you out of this bed.” Tim shut down that line of questioning immediately. 

Kon huffed, even as his arms tightened around Tim, “Yeah alright, message received loud and clear.” 

Tim rolled his eyes, Kon was truly unbelievable sometimes. Tim would never understand how he could ask questions like that while both genuinely wishing him the best in his own endeavor with Spoiler and also actively cuddling him. Whatever, it’s not like he didn’t already know Kon was insane, and that their whole arrangement was insane, so what did it matter. 

Kon actually did stay quiet after that, even dropping off into sleep before Tim managed it, though he wasn’t close behind. He had to admit, he didn’t mind sleeping in his house when he wasn’t it’s sole occupant. Actually, he really liked it, and he could swear he never slept better than when he was sharing a bed with Kon too. 

Chapter Text

The thing about having a secret arrangement that could only be enacted behind closed doors, was that it only stayed secret when closed- or even locked- doors actually kept people out. 

What they had failed to consider was that Bart Allen had pretty much never been stopped by a closed and/or locked door. In fact, he didn't even view them as obstacles, or even barriers really. Half the time he didn't even bother to check if doors were locked or not because it just made no difference to him whether or not they were when he could simply vibrate through them either way. 

So, really, he and Kon had absolutely no valid reason to be as surprised as they were about the fact that their secret arrangement didn't actually stay just between the two of them for long. 

No. He and Kon had been curled up together in Kon's room playing video games when all the sudden Bart was by the door. They hadn't even had a chance to pull away from each other or to try and say something along the lines of 'it's not what it looks like!' before Bart was grinning widely and leaping into the bed too. 

"Ooooh nice! It's cuddle time!" He crowed in excitement, plopping himself down on top of them and then wriggling around until he was in the middle of Tim and Kon. 

Tim, who'd been startled enough to freeze at the interruption, finally unfroze and moved his head so he could make eye contact with Kon over Bart's head. Kon looked equally as startled by the sudden addition of Bart, eyes wide and a little bit panicked.

"And we're playing video games too!" Bart wriggled a bit more, but this time it seemed like it was out of excitement, "Best day ever!" He sing-songed. 

Tim blinked and suddenly there was a controller in Bart's hands too and a third split-screen for them to play off of. 

He had to admit, now that the initial panic at having been caught was calming down, he didn't mind Bart being here. He had never minded Bart's physical affection, frankly, he loved Bart's easy shows of affection and cherished each and every one of them no matter how fleeting they might have been. 

Bart seemed pretty happy right where he was too, and Tim didn't want to deny his friend anything that made him happy and comfortable. Plus, Bart definitely wasn't judging them for the position he'd found them in. He was just excited he got to join in. 

Tim supposed one of the only plusses to Bart's whole super-speed-making-him-incredibly-impulsive thing was that he tended to feel little to no shame about both wanting things and getting what he wanted. Tim could never quite nail down if Bart was like that cause he lacked the ability to think things through enough to feel shame or if he'd just missed the memo entirely about things like social stigma. He suspected it was likely both.

Either way, if there was anyone to get caught by in this scenario, Bart wasn't a bad choice considering the fact that it seemed to have not even occurred to him to think anything was odd about the position he'd found them in. Besides, Tim had never denied Bart when he'd wanted physical touch, barring the pollen incident, and he had no real reason or desire to start doing so now. 

Kon seemed to have reached the same conclusion as he did, because after a moment of slightly panicked eye contact, he shrugged. Tim shrugged back, and then they both relaxed, shuffling a bit so their positions were more comfortable with the addition of Bart and then went back to playing the game without so much as a word. 

......................................

Conference room 346

That was what the note waiting for Kon on his pillow read. No time or further details listed, but there didn't need to be any. He knew who'd written the note and why Robin would want a meeting, plus he was smart enough to assume the meeting time was after everyone went to bed. 

Luckily, he'd been watching reruns of Wendy the Werewolf Stalker with Anita and Cassie, everyone else having gone to bed already, so he didn't have to wait for anyone else to go to bed since they'd also gone to bed at the same time as him. He still waited ten minutes just to be safe though.

Robin was waiting for him in the conference room just as he expected. The binder containing all their notes and paperwork pertaining to their arrangements out on the conference table in front of him. 

Kon closed the door behind him when he entered, letting his TTK reach out to flip the blinds closed and lock the door behind him. 

"Hey, is this about the other day with Bart?" He checked as he sat down in the chair next to the one Robin was in. 

Robin nodded, "I believe we should address it and adjust our arrangement accordingly." 

Kon nodded, then shrugged, "Sure dude, but what really needs to change? We just let Bart join in if he finds us and wants to join in." He said before quickly adding, "Unless you don't wanna be touching Bart like that?" 

Robin looked up sharply, "I have no issue with Bart's affection." He insisted, tone defensive, like he was a bit worried Kon would take Bart's affection away somehow, "I meant that we should document that both of us are willingly allowing him to partake in our arrangement when he wishes to do so." 

"Are you reading that off of something?" Kon asked, eyebrow raised in mild amusement, "What's with the formality?" 

Robin looked a little sheepish at that before pulling a sheet of paper out of the binder, "I did type this up already, but any part of it can be edited before either of us sign." 

Kon took a look at the paper once it was handed to him. It read, addendum no. 1, and was admittedly pretty short. Only three paragraphs total. 

What was written essentially boiled down to their arrangement remaining exactly the same. However, if they were ever walked in on by Bart and he wanted to join them they were both alright with him doing so. Also that if Bart ever approached them and asked for affection then they would both do so as long as they were alright with it and that they could each call on the other in some way to join in as well. 

Kon didn't have much of an issue with anything he was seeing in the contract or addendum or whatever. It was all pretty straightforward and obvious, and Kon honestly found it a bit redundant that they were doing paperwork about it, but also having this all organized and having clearly defined boundaries and whatnot made Rob feel more comfortable with it. So it was fine. 

"One problem," Kon pointed out after finishing reading the addendum for the second time. 

Robin had his full attention on Kon in a heartbeat, just staring at him, his gaze a heavy yet familiar weight. It wasn't a bad one either, or at least it wasn't anymore, the intensity had been taken over by the way it's familiarity was beginning to feel comforting. Like that thing he'd been unknowingly searching for in the hot babes on the beaches of Hawaii or in the tv interviews or the disaster of a theme park or the Superboy tv show was actually just right here, in that gaze that Robin would level him with sometimes. The one that promised the boy's full and undivided attention, for better or worse, that promised nothing else in the world was more important to Robin than he was in that moment. 

"What's the problem?" Robin asked, and Kon realized he'd just trailed off as he got lost in thought about the way one of his best friends was staring at him. 

"Oh, uh, right." He cleared his throat, dragging his mind back onto track, "What exactly are we going to say when we explain our arrangement to Bart and how do we get him to keep it a secret?"

“Oh,” Robin leaned back in his chair and shrugged, “Honestly, I figured we would be better off just not telling him.” 

Of all the contingencies he was prepared for Robin to throw at him that was not one of them, “Uh, how would that even work? Surely he’s gonna ask questions at some point.” 

“That’s the thing, I don’t think he will.” Rob shook his head, “I mean, he asked literally no questions back when he walked in on us, and to him I don’t think it’s the kind of thing he would even need to ask questions about. He’s always been very free with physical affection, and he sees the girls be free with physical affection too, so he won’t have a reason to question us being the same way. Honestly, I don’t think he’ll think twice about it if we just act like it’s normal.” 

That was… probably true actually. Bart definitely hadn’t asked any questions yet at least. 

“I also figure that we’re better off just not telling him it’s a secret in the first place. If we tell him that he can’t tell anyone about what we’re doing then that’s all he’ll think about until it bursts out of him, same way he can’t last ten seconds undercover.” Robin continued explaining, “If we don’t tell him though, then he has no reason to think about it, and we both know he doesn’t tend to think about stuff without something directly prompting him to. So if we keep the arrangement entirely behind closed doors, like we’re supposed to anyway, then there shouldn’t be anything that prompts him to think about it and mention it to anyone. It’s not full proof, but I think it’s our best chance of no one else finding out.” 

Kon considered that reasoning, and it was very solid reasoning, it just wasn’t a guarantee, “It’s definitely got potential.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t love how iffy it is.” 

“Yeah, me either.” Rob sighed, before sliding his gaze over to him, “I’m open to any suggestions?” He asked, sounding hopeful. 

Kon shook his head, “I don’t have any. You’re right, I think that’s our best bet. I mean, it’s been a couple days and he hasn’t said anything yet, and he would definitely be acting off by now if we’d told him it was a secret. I just wish there was a way to get a better guarantee. I mean, I love Bart, god knows I’d do anythin’ for him, but I really don’t want anyone finding out about us being friends with benefits and all.” 

Robin let out a sigh and buried his face in his hands, “Yeah, I know. Me too.” He said, slightly muffled by his hands before he raised his face for a moment to add, “And don’t call it that.”

Kon grinned, entirely unrepentant, “Awww, but it bugs you so much! It’s so funny!” 

Robin rolled his eyes, but otherwise didn’t respond with a lecture about how technically it wasn’t a friends with benefits arrangement and how calling it that implied the wrong things. Maybe that was a sign that he was wearing Rob down? 

One day, he’d get Robin to slip up and call it a friends with benefits arrangement all on his own and that would be one of Kon’s crowning achievements, he just knew it. 

“Anyway.” Robin said after clearing his throat pointedly, “Are there any changes that should be made to the addendum?” 

Kon looked at it again, he didn’t have an issue with anything that was in it, “Um, maybe add a line at the end about not telling Bart about the arrangement, if we really wanna have everything documented properly. I’ve got no beef with any of this other stuff though.” 

Robin then proceeded to pull a laptop out of… Kon wasn’t sure where he pulled it from actually, maybe he had a cubby hidden under the table somewhere? Whatever, he’d figure it out later, or not, he didn’t really care that much after all. 

Robin opened the laptop, and began typing. After about a minute a soft whirring started up from the far corner of the room. Kon looked over and found a small printer sitting there. 

“Since when was there a printer in here?” He asked, knowing that the conference rooms hadn’t originally been equipped with them. 

Robin shrugged, “I put it in after the experimenting process. Having to transport all that paperwork discreetly was more difficult than installing our own private printer was.” 

Kon hadn’t realized any of that had been an issue to begin with. He would’ve helped somehow if he’d known. It wasn’t surprising that Rob hadn’t mentioned it though, he’d never been good at asking for help. 

Kon wasn’t either but at least he hadn’t installed a secret printer. How much did printers even cost anyway? Probably a lot. 

Just then the printer made a little ding to signal that it was finished printing, which effectively derailed Kon’s train of thought. He floated over and picked up the paper. It was the same form, just with a little blurb added about not informing Bart about their arrangement. 

This was admittedly pretty convenient, especially when it came to having to make edits to paperwork. 

Kon read over the form one more time, more out of principal and to sooth any random anxieties than out of any real concern that Rob had changed anything else last minute without telling him. Just as he expected everything else was the same, so he set it down on the table and signed it before sliding it and the pen over to Robin. Robin signed it quickly too, then opened their binder that they’d tactfully labeled ‘YJ Sewage and average waste line usage and maintenance’ to keep anyone from opening it should they ever somehow find it. 

He noticed a new section in the binder labeled ‘addendums’ which was where Robin put their Bart form. It was the first in the section, but Kon got the feeling that, thanks to Rob’s penchant for paperwork, it wouldn’t be the last. 

Chapter Text

Fuck Arkham.

Fuck Arkham and its inability to actually keep its inmates in its facilities.

At least only four rogues had gotten out this time instead of all of them. At least Joker hadn't been one of them. He wasn't really in the mood to both have to deal with recapturing Joker as well as the inevitable fallout there'd be on B's mental state if he had to come face to face with Joker again. Tim felt like Bruce was only just now starting to get a bit better after Jason, so the last thing he wanted was him backsliding again.

Plus Dick just didn't deserve that.

Speaking of things that were so totally undeserved...

"Ivy can we please just talk this out?" He tried to reason as best he could hanging upside down being dangled by one of her vines around his ankle, "C'mon! It's a school night and I'm pretty sure you didn't get the Dr. in Dr. Isley without valuing education."

Ivy was sitting primly in a large flower bud and staring at him with an entirely unimpressed look, "Then leave. I'm not forcing you to be out here. Actually, I'm not a fan of the Bat having any children running around out here. Frankly, I'm shocked he let another one of his children out after what happened to the one before you."

That last sentence raised several questions. Firstly, why did Ivy think he or any other Robin was Batman's kid? And also, more importantly, how did she know about Jason? That was far from public knowledge, and Joker had been kept in solitary confinement. Mostly because he was the Joker, but also a little bit so he couldn't go telling people about how he'd killed the second Robin. He hadn't broken out yet either, in fact, he'd had no contact with anyone except when Arkham had been broken into by... oh, right.

"Had brunch with Harley lately?" He snapped, a lot sharper than he'd sounded before.

Ivy shrugged, "Actually it was a paint and wine night."

Fucking fantastic to find out Jason's story was being swapped at a goddamn paint and wine night. Jesus. Like it was a bit of juicy gossip and not the horrific reality of a dead child.

Well. Robin number three was officially done playing nice.

"As I was saying before, I really think the Bat needs to be more careful with his kiddos. Like you said, it's a school night, and the fact that you're out here tells me he isn't treating you as kindly as he probably should treat his kids." Ivy continued saying, though he was only half paying attention as he calculated the angle he'd need her to be at for his plan to work. "Honestly kid, the more I look at you, the more I think all you really need is a good cuddle. It might be what the Bat needs too. I hear cuddling your kid can be very relaxing for a parent. It might even remove the legal system's gavel he's got rammed up his ass."

Tim's attention whipped back to Ivy as soon as she mentioned cuddling, but he was too late to stop her from blowing cuddle pollen right in his fucking face.

"Hmmm, that wasn't very kid-friendly language on my part." She hummed in faux disappointment in herself, "Don't go crying to daddy bats, or actually, do go crying to daddy bats, just not about that."

Tim Drake was officially so fucking done with this round of Arkham breakouts.

Thankfully, he at least had two things on his side. The first was that he had a couple minutes before the pollen actually kicked in, and the second was that Ivy had moved into the perfect position for his plan when she blew the pollen in his face.

"You miscalculated twice." He informed her bluntly, letting a shark's grin spread across his face as he used the batarang in his palm to slice through the vine and twisted into the free fall so he could spray his own knockout gas directly into her face, "One. Getting too close."

He finished his fall gracefully, moving quickly out of his roll to cushion her uncontrolled slump to the ground. She wasn't totally unconscious yet, just incredibly unsteady for the next thirty seconds or so it would take to fully take hold.

"Wha's two?" She slurred as he lowered her safely to the ground.

He'd worry about getting the pollen on her, but he knew she'd made herself immune to it. God, what he wouldn't give to be immune to the cuddle pollen.

"Two is that I'm not his fucking kid." He growled, and had just a moment to see the confusion flash across her features before her eyes were rolling back in her head and she was finally out.

He probably shouldn't have said that. There was a chance she wouldn't remember it, but he knew he wasn't that lucky. Whatever, that was a problem for later Tim. Current Tim's problem was getting handcuffs on her and dragging her out of her little jungle that she'd managed to set up in the short time since she'd escaped from Arkham. Thankfully it was pretty small so that wasn't much of a problem.

What was a problem though, was that letting go of Ivy once he'd dragged her out hurt. Not too badly yet, but the pollen was definitely starting to kick in.

He grappled up to the nearest rooftop and unmuted his comm. "Oracle, alert GPD that Poison Ivy is near the West park entrance all wrapped up for them."

There was a few seconds of silence, then, "Officers 3 minutes out. Batman and Nightwing were already en route to assist and will be there in 4 minutes."

Ok. Four minutes. He could steel himself for what was likely to be an immensely shitty night in four minutes well enough that Nightwing and Batman wouldn't notice. Probably. Hopefully. He'd at least try.

He took a few steadying breaths, trying to will the ache in his chest away. What was worse was that Dick was actually here for once! Dick, who would cuddle him happily and willingly! Except, even if Nightwing and Batman had already recaptured Bane and Two-Face, that still left Scarecrow needing to be captured, so Nightwing wouldn't be able to help even if he might actually want to.

Fuck Ivy. Fuck Arkham. Fuck literally everything right now. How was he even going to be able to go to school tomorrow?

His skin was starting to itch a bit. He didn't scratch it. Thankfully, the shaking and breath hitching had not begun by the time Nightwing and Batman dropped onto the roof with him.

"Robin Report." Batman growled predictably.

"I trailed Ivy to where she'd set up near the West park entrance and entered her jungle. There was a quick game of cat and mouse before I intentionally allowed her to capture me in one of her vines." He began rattling off immediately, "I prompted her to begin a tirade, waited until she was in the right position, then I freed myself and sprayed her with the knockout gas. I then handcuffed her and brought her out to the park entrance for GPD to collect." He finished, gesturing to where the GPD was currently collecting her.

"Injuries?" Batman growled.

"None." He replied, easily and honestly, there hadn't been much of a fight after all.

"Did you have contact with any biological or chemical agents?" Was Batman's next question.

"None." He replied again, just as easily but definitely not truthfully.

Batman nodded sharply, accepting his answers easily enough. Nightwing flashed him a big grin and two thumbs up behind Batman's back and mouthed 'good job!'

Tim wanted to say it was patronizing, but that stupid part that was rooted somewhere deep in his soul, the twisted and wrong part, soaked up the praise desperately. Not that he showed it openly, instead he just scowled down at his feet and tried to ignore the burst of warmth in his chest.

"Go back to the cave." Batman said, just as sharp and growly.

Tim was happy to take the early reprieve, this way he at least had a chance of not getting caught lying about being hit with pollen. Plus, honestly, the pollen was miserable enough when he had weighted blankets and heating pads and a safe enclosed environment. He didn't have any desire whatsoever to find out what it was like without any of those things, especially to try to find and fight Scarecrow on it. That might get him killed if he was honest.

If he hadn't been on the pollen though, he wouldn't have wanted to duck out early on patrol, partly for his dignity and partly because he wanted to be out here side by side with his childhood heroes fighting bad guys even when it was exhausting or sucky. So he knew he couldn't just agree easily without making them think he was hiding an injury or exposure to some substance.

"Scarecrow is still out there." He tried to argue, "He's had more time than the others to get set up. You'll need help with him."

"Nightwing is here." Batman replied, succinct as always, "Go home."

It was a predictable answer, the one he'd perfectly set Batman up to give.

"Three is still better than two." He tried again.

"It's well past you're curfew Robin." Batman stated, as unwavering as ever, which was just what Tim wanted, "Go home. It's a school night."

Tim rolled his eyes, even if Batman couldn't see it under the mask he knew the man could read it in his body language anyway, "Who even needs school?!" He scoffed.

Batman didn't dignify that with a response, instead he turned to Nightwing and nodded towards the Eastern end of the city. Then he took off, grappling down the alley in the direction he'd indicated.

"Don't worry about it, Robin. There'll always be other Arkham break outs." Nightwing pointed out with a dry chuckle, "And I'm sure at least one of them won't fall on a school night."

"Yeah, whatever." Tim rolled his eyes, counting down the seconds till he got a dismissal, his skin was really starting to itch now, "Says the one who doesn't have a goddamn bedtime."

"Awwwww don't be a bad sport, baby bird," Nightwing laughed, "You know it's already going to suck getting up for school in the morning, no need to make it suck even worse by staying out even later when it's unnecessary."

"Yeah, whatever you old geezer." Tim rolled his eyes again.

Nightwing scoffed, offended but still playful, "I am not old!"

Tim shrugged, "Old enough to be worried about sleep schedules."

"Alright, listen here you little twerp!" Nightwing scoffed, clearly about to continue before both their comms went off.

"Nightwing, we need to move." Batman's growl came across the comm line, "Robin, check in with Agent A when you get back to the cave."

The instruction was unnecessary. Checking in with Alfred was a standing order when he got sent back to the cave alone. That way the other bats knew he'd made it back in ok before he left to go back to Drake manor for the night.

He wasn't particularly accustomed to someone worrying about if he made it home safe after he'd gone gallivanting around Gotham at night. If he was honest he still wasn't sure if he liked it or not.

"Look, you did good tonight, kiddo." Dick said in that soft but genuine tone of his, "You took down Ivy all on your own without getting hurt or exposed to something. There's no shame in calling it a night."

Nightwing went to punctuate that statement with a hand reaching for Tim's shoulder, likely to give it a squeeze. He stepped back out of Nightwing's reach before it could make contact though. As much as he desperately craved the touch, and it was a desperate craving at this point, he knew having it taken away would be brutal, potentially too brutal for him to conceal.

"Right, sorry Robin," Nightwing said, pulling his hand back awkwardly, "I, uh, I forgot you don't really like... that."

It was stupidly awkward and it was painful to boot. God, Tim was standing here feeling wretched as the pollen started taking over, the surety that no one was ever going to want to touch him ever again clouding his mind. Then here was Dick Grayson, his childhood hero, one of his earliest memories of being hugged, and he was offering, he wanted to touch Tim. Except Tim ruined it, he pulled away instinctually like it would hurt, and maybe it would currently hurt but the movement had been too instinctual for it to only be because of that. No. There was just something deeply and fundamentally wrong with him.

"No, I- I'm sorry, Nightwing." He corrected, because he was the problem here, then added a quick, "I should go anyway. Good luck with Scarecrow." Before he jumped off the roof and grappled back towards the cave entrance.

God, he really needed to stay away from anyone and everyone else before he caused any more problems thanks to his pollen-induced lack of self control. Hopefully Alfred wouldn't try to insist on him sticking around for a snack before going home tonight, or god forbid a check up. If anything it was well past his semi-new weekday curfew so he could always just say he was really tired to avoid sticking around for longer than it'd take for a quick detox shower and to change.

The shaking in his hands and arms had set in by the time he made it back to the cave and the itching was unbearable. He could feel the tell-tale strain around his breaths that warned him that they'd start hitching soon enough too. He needed to be in and out so Alfred wouldn't notice anything was wrong.

"Glad to see you've returned safely, master Tim." Alfred nodded politely at him from where he seemed to have been dusting near the bat computer.

"Thanks Alfred," he sent the man what he hoped was a not at all shaky smile, "Do you mind letting the others know I've made it back alright while I take a quick shower?"

"Of course," Alfred nodded easily, "Would you like me to prepare you something to eat for when you are done?"

Tim shook his head, "Thank you for the offer, but I'm pretty tired so I'm just going to head home as soon as I'm done."

That got a small frown from Alfred, the way it always did when he refused food, "Very well, master Tim. If you would like I would be happy to prepare a room for you to sleep in here if you are too tired to return home tonight?"

Alfred offered that too sometimes, though it was less frequent than offers of food. He'd never taken him up on it though, if he was too injured to make it home then he'd spend the night down here in the medbay, the manor was where the family slept, which he was not a part of.

"I'll be fine to get home, but thank you for the kind offer." He nodded his thanks, keeping his hands pinned at his sides and hidden by the cape in an attempt to make sure the older man didn't spot them, "I'm going to go wash off now, I'm pretty gross."

"Very well, go on then." Alfred shooed him towards the showers, "I'll be in the kitchen if you decide you do want something to eat after all."

He definitely wouldn't. With the way the pollen was taking effect he wouldn't be able to sit through eating under Alfred's watchful gaze without getting himself caught.

He showered as quickly, but as thoroughly as he could. Making absolutely sure he got every last bit of pollen off of himself, and if he scrubbed just a bit too hard with a washcloth to deal with the ever-growing itching sensation then that was neither here nor there. He quickly threw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie as soon as he was finished showering hoping that the softer and warmer fabrics would somehow help even just a little bit.

His breath was hitching every so often now, though it was inconsistent enough still that if he was careful and got out of here quickly then he should still be able to leave with his pollen-exposure undetected. He dug his shaking hands as deep as he could into his hoodie pocket and jogged up the stairs from the batcave to the manor.

Once the clock was reset he made his way quickly down the halls leading towards the kitchen and the side door. He could hear the faint sounds from the kitchen that was most likely Alfred setting out tea and snacks in a last ditch effort to get him to eat something before he left. Normally he would've wavered as soon as he smelled the legendary cookies Alfred had going in the oven, but he couldn't tonight.

Instead he made his way quickly to the side door next to the kitchen and called out a quick, "Goodnight Alfred, see you tomorrow!" Before he all but threw himself out the door and into the chilly night air.

The walk back to Drake manor usually wasn't a bad one, honestly it had become rather peaceful once he'd gotten over the creepy alone-in-the-woods-at-night feeling he'd initially had. Now he usually liked it with the owls hooting and the bats squeaking overhead. In the warmer months the crisp and cool night air usually felt nice too, plus being a little outside Gotham meant he could actually see stars. Not a lot of them, but a good handful or so.

Tonight the walk sucked, because it was just another 3/4 of a mile between him and his weighted blankets, heating pad, and bed. Honestly even those things were totally shit for dealing with the pollen, but it was better than the nothing he had now.

By the time he made it to the tree under his window his chest was hitching with every other breath, his whole body was shaking, and he wasn't able to hold back on itching anymore. He'd directed the itching to his stomach under his hoodie though, in an attempt of limiting the itching radius might mean he wouldn't need to keep his arms and legs covered at all times for the next couple weeks because he'd scratched all that skin off. This way, if he scratched his stomach enough to gain an injury, then all he'd have to do to hide it was keep his shirt on, which he did anyway.

It took everything he had to get himself up that tree. Unfortunately the rest of the house ran on a security system that meant no opening doors or windows so late at night without alerting someone that he'd done so. He'd disconnected his bedroom from that system years ago though, and had even rigged it with his own alternative security system once he'd become Robin. So he could come and go as he pleased and undetected so long as he only entered or exited the house from his bedroom window.

Normally, this was a very easy feat for him. Today, with the pollen running rampant in his body, it was definitely more of a challenge than usual. Primarily due to the shaking that was full body at this point, but the urge to itch certainly wasn't helping much either.

He eventually managed to tip himself over and through his window, then he just laid on his floor for a minute, breaths hitching and scratching at his hips and stomach under the hoodie. Eventually he managed to roll himself to his feet, grabbing the extra weighted blankets out of his closet and tossing them onto his bed. Then he headed down to the kitchen, pulling the heating pads out of the downstairs linen closet and throwing them in the microwave. He definitely started breaking skin with his scratching while he watched the stupid tray spin in the microwave, the stinging accompanying the scratching sensation being the dead giveaway. He didn't stop scratching though, couldn't, but he tried to scratch at different areas on his torso, no need to scratch deep enough to scar after all.

After what felt like an actual eternity, the heating packs finished in the microwave. He picked them up, hugging them to his chest and tried to convince his stupid goddamn brain that he was feeling relief at the warm weight. He rushed upstairs as best he could on shaky legs, the way he always did alone late at night in this empty house that he haunted. With him being the one haunting it, he wasn't really sure what he was scared of, but it still felt wierd lingering anywhere other than his bedroom and the kitchen.

Once he got to his room he got himself into bed before layering the weighted blankets with the heating pads into his ideal formation. Once he was all done and he was settled he tried to let his mind drift off. It was hard to focus on anything other than the pollen though, so he let himself think about it in a more clinical sense.

Under all the blankets with the heating pads it was beyond warm, it was frankly hot enough that he'd likely start sweating soon. He had a theory though, that the pollen, like some other substances and toxins, could potentially be sweat out and that doing so could lessen the time that the pollen affected a person's system.

He had no way of finding out right now, but he believed that it could be a reasonable possibility. So, even if it only worked because of the placebo effect, so long as it did work he didn't care. Besides, he could do actual tests later. This round with the pollen could be testing the blanket and heating pad method, then another time he could test it out in the sauna his parents had in the gym downstairs to see if the pollen went through his system quicker, accounting for different dosages of course.

There'd have to be a control pollen stint. One where he had none of his blankets or heating pads or anything so he could have a control group of data. That round would really suck, but if he could get through it then the data could be well worth it. The pollen was truly horrendous, so anything that might be able to make it even a bit better would be worth that suffering.

Speaking of suffering, he was honestly suffering pretty badly. He was running out of skin on his lower torso to scratch at without overlapping with other cuts, he could swear it was freezing even with the layers and heat packs, and his breaths were hitching so forcefully that it actually hurt a bit.

This sucked majorly, but he could delusion his way through it. Probably. Possibly. Whatever.

The pollen wouldn't kill him. That part wasn't delusion. It wouldn't do damage either. No matter how bad it felt now, or how bad it continued to feel for the next ten hours tops, once that was over he'd be back to feeling normal. He just had to make it through this ten hours. A ten hours that he'd made it through alone more than once before.

So basically, he was fine. Totally and completely fine. Really, all curled up in his nice bed with his pillows and all his blankets and the heating pads, one could even say he was nice and cozy. In fact, the heat and weight of his blanket configuration felt just like the weight of a real person lying on top of him if he thought about it just right, he would know seeing as he'd literally had Kon lay on top of him more than once now, including when Kon himself had been hit with the pollen.

God, what he wouldn't give to have Kon here right now.

Tim jolted at that thought. Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!!!! He could have Kon here right now. How the hell had he forgotten? Kon had only made him promise like a million times to call him if he ever got hit with the pollen.

"Su-" Tim started to yell before he cut himself off.

Hold on. Kon may have had him promise to call him, but why had he made Tim promise? He'd said he wanted to touch Tim. He'd said it several times actually. The arrangement was a pretty solid chunk of evidence that it was actually true too.

Still, there was that insidious voice in the back of his head that insisted that that couldn't actually be the case. That Kon was doing it out of some sense of duty to help or pity or any other reason than actually just wanting to touch him. That that had to be the case because how could it not be? He was bad enough at it that not even Dick, who soaked up physical affection like a sponge soaked up water, was able to really want Tim's touch even though he kept trying anyway. Bruce was too busy grieving to even have the space to try and want him. It was his parents' responsibility, but so were a lot of things and them wanting to touch him never outweighed those other responsibilities. Alfred was tough, but kind, but still distant and professional enough that it was clear he didn't want any contact like that. Steph, well, Steph admittedly did want to touch him, she wanted to hold hands and kiss and he did too, but there was a large jump between young couple stuff and literally not being able to let go of someone for ten hours so he couldn't imagine her actually wanting this even if he knew she'd do it in a heartbeat. The rest of YJ was the same, with the exception of Bart who couldn't do it.

So Kon was the only option. Admittedly he was also the option that Tim really wanted to choose, but he couldn't stand the idea of finding out that Kon really was only doing it out of duty, not when he was already miserable enough on the pollen.

If he never called Kon, then he'd never find out if Kon had really meant it when he'd said he wanted to ride out pollen with him in the future. He could just always have that hope on the back burner to help him ride it out if he never definitively found out whether it was true or not. There was admittedly something a little comforting about that.

Schrodinger's pollen buddy.

But also. Despite that part of him that was constantly measuring contingencies and resources and plans agreeing that maybe it really was better to just not know. To just get to have that bit of security that there was someone who really wanted to ride this out with him without ever having to test it. He also knew he'd never fully believe it until it was tested and proven.

Plus, Kon was his best friend. Wasn't it wrong to knowingly and intentionally break a promise you'd made to your best friend a bunch of times?

"K-Kon! Superb-boy!" He called out, doing his best around the way his teeth were clacking together with the pollen induced shivers, "I don't- I-if you're listening! You-you made m-me prom-mise t-to ca-call, so I-I'm calling! Y-you don't have t-to come if you- if you d-don't want t-to, r-really! I'd rath-rather you d-didn't, act-actually, b-but I-if you wa-want to, th-then I'm ca-calling!"

He went quiet after that, squeezing his eyes shut and curling even smaller under the mound of blankets. Something in his chest tightened painfully and his throat tightened in the way that he knew meant he was about to burst into tears, which was ridiculous. The immediate overwhelming feeling of abandonment when he'd stopped speaking and Kon wasn't already there was totally ridiculous. He knew that Kon must be at least a couple states away right now, and that would mean it would take him at least a couple of minutes to get here. So the warmth flooding behind his eyes was absolutely uncalled for.

He would like it noted, for the record, that he didn't cry in the minutes he waited in tense and miserable silence. Not a single tear slipped out of his tightly closed eyes, even if they very much wanted to. He was not going to cry like a toddler throwing a tantrum because the world didn't immediately bend to his whims. Travel time existed, even for someone like Kon.

If Kon never showed, then maybe he'd consider negotiating with himself to let one or two tears fall, but that was it. Pollen stints were miserable enough without crying himself into dehydrated exhaustion.

Besides, there was a million other reasons why Kon might never show. He could have just not heard him, his super hearing wasn't the most developed of his powers after all. He could be off planet for some reason. He could be in the middle of a fight or battle that he couldn't walk away from. He could-

His window slid open.

Tim's eyes flew open to see Kon climbing in the window.

"Hey, what happened?" Kon was saying, eyes wide and worried as they scanned Tim, presumably for injury, "I heard you call but you didn't say why?"

Tim stared at him breathlessly for a moment, barely able to believe what he was seeing, "Pollen." He managed to get out around the lump in his throat.

"Oh shit!" Kon exclaimed before he blurred for a second and then he was in a pair of sweats and his Superboy suit was lying in a heap in the corner of Tim's room, "Did you shower it off?" Kon asked, stepping closer to the bed.

"Y-yeah." Tim got out with a shaky nod and then rushed to add before Kon could wrap him in a hug, "K-Kon, you don't- you d-don't have t-to if you d-don't want to. I- I'll understand, I-"

"I want to." Kon cut him off, eyes boring into him so gently it burned, "Rob, I swear I want to. I know the pollen makes it hard for you to believe it, but I promise it's true. It'll get easier to believe if you'll let me touch you. Please?"

Tim hadn't realized Kon had been waiting on him to agree. He was still struggling a bit to believe that Kon wanted to be do this, but he also really wanted to believe in it, and he knew that his head would get a bit clearer with the physical touch so there was no real reason to refuse it.

He nodded his head, pulling his arms out from under the heavy pile of blankets to reach out for his friend. That seemed to be all Kon needed as far as permission went because suddenly the weight of the blankets was gone, Kon's TTK being the likely culprit, and there was warmth, true warmth, enveloping him. Tim's arms were wrapping just as tightly around Kon as he pushed himself impossibly closer.

He felt like he could breathe properly again, it was possibly the purest relief he'd ever felt. He just let himself suck in air greedily for that first minute before he started to calm. One of Kon's arms was wrapped low around his waist and the other going up over his spine at a diagonal with his hand cupping the back of Tim's head. Fuck, it felt incredible. This would've felt incredible all on its own but after the pollen it was literal heaven.

He should thank Kon, for being here, and for being so good at it that it felt so incredible. He should probably also apologize for dragging him out here in the early hours of the morning to occupy the next 8-10 hours of his time with the ultimate form of physical neediness. Even if Kon wanted to be touching Tim, and now that the pollen was more distant and less extreme in his thoughts he did at least mostly believe that Kon did want to touch him again, it could still be a lot to be needed so thoroughly with no breaks for such a long period of time.

"Hey, you seem like you've calmed down enough to start overthinking things." Kon said, interrupting his train of thoughts, "Wanna tell me what you're thinking before you manage to work yourself up all over again?"

Tim rolled his eyes, because he so wasn't going to totally work himself up, "I was just trying to decide if I should apologize or thank you first."

"Preferably neither. Though I'd rather be thanked than apologized to." Kon answered immediately in that smug voice that immediately made Tim not want to apologize to him or thank him ever again cause his ego definitely didn't need it.

Then he realized exactly what Kon had done, and decided to do it anyway.

"Thanks for doing this, even if you're being a pompous ass." He said, wrapping his arms just a little tighter around Kon just in case he got insulted and tried to pry Tim off, "And also I'm sorry for calling you out here so late at night and for taking up the next, like, ten hours of your time." He added cause he couldn't help himself.

Kon groaned, "You know, you make me feel like a total douchebag when you thank me and apologize for stuff like that."

Tim shrugged, "Yeah well, I feel like I suck for calling you out here in the first place, so..."

Kon sighed, "You don't. I want to be here." He insisted, voice so stupidly sure that it made it nearly impossible for Tim to doubt it even if the words went against everything he knew and understood about the world, "I don't know if this is weird to say, but I'm, like, really proud of you, dude. I remember what the pollen was like in my head and I know it makes you believe no one wants to touch you, including me, and so I've been worried that you wouldn't be able to resist it enough to call me, but you did. So I'm proud of you."

Tim could feel his cheeks heating at the praise, probably enough that Kon could feel the heat radiating off of him too. Although Kon also sounded really embarrassed as he spoke, so maybe they were in the same boat on this one.

He couldn't help but soak up the praise despite the embarrassment, that twisted part of his soul was really getting fed tonight. Even as he tucked away the words for safekeeping, he couldn't help but argue with them.

"It took me, like, three hours." He blurted out, and then winced, feeling like he'd just walked himself off a plank, "To be fair, it took me a while to get back to the cave and then here, but I still could've called sooner than I did."

He was expecting some sort of negative reaction in response to that, a revocation of the previous statement or at the very least a disappointed sigh, but he didn't get one.

Instead, Kon just squeezed him tighter and said, "You called, that's all that matters." In a voice that was so genuine that Tim couldn't even argue with it, "I'm still proud of you."

Tim couldn't manage any response to that other than a choked, "Oh, ok." before he elected to just ignore everything ever and try to burrow as far into Kon's embrace as he could manage.

"Hey," Kon poked his back lightly with an amused lilt to his voice, "before we get too comfy we should get your hoodie off at least. The more skin to skin contact the better, right?"

Tim nodded against Kon's shoulder, already wriggling to try and get one arm through the sleeve, because yeah, getting even closer to the warmth radiating off of Kon sounded pretty fucking phenomenal right now. He managed to get both arms through the sleeves and then wrapped them right back around Kon's waist. Kon then let go with one arm and Tim very bravely didn't whine about it, then he pulled the rest of the fabric over Tim's head and tossed it somewhere on his bedroom floor.

Tim couldn't have helped the contented sigh he let out as he settled back against Kon, their stomachs and chests pressed together now as Tim basically laid on top of him.

"Hey, uh, Rob, glad you're clearly comfy and all, but, um, why is your stomach sticky?" Now that Tim was paying attention to it and not just how warm and good he was feeling, his lower stomach was feeling kinda wet and sticky.

It took a second, enough time for Kon to reach one of his hands down there to touch the sticky area before Tim remembered his previous scratching, "Oh, uh, it's just-"

"Oh my god!" Kon exclaimed cutting him off once he'd brought his hand back up to examine it, "Thats blood! Oh my god, Rob, you're bleeding!"

It was a little dramatic of a freak out for what was clearly not a life threatening level of bleeding. He was smart enough not to actually say that though.

A few moments later Kon had them standing in the bathroom, Tim's back to his chest with both of them facing the mirror so Kon could examine the damage in the mirror without letting go of Tim.

"It's ok. I was just scratching cause the pollen made my skin feel all wierd and itchy, that's all." Tim tried to reassure Kon, reaching a still slightly shaky hand out to the towel sitting on counter and wet it, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out. I promise it's nothing to worry about."

Kon grumbled something about it not being nothing, then took the towel from Tim's hand and started wiping away the blood around his stomach and hips. Part of Tim wanted to protest that he could clean himself up, especially considering he'd probably smeared his blood on Kon too plus all the other ways he was inconveniencing him. The careful attention that Kon was paying to his skin felt really freaking good though, even though it kind of stung whenever the towel ghosted over the scratches, courtesy of the pollen he assumed.

Besides, at this point, he'd picked up on the fact that sometimes Kon seemed to get some sort of relief out of making sure that Tim was ok for himself. He had several pieces of evidence for this, primarily the stitches incident back when he'd gotten a little hurt when they'd been fake dating and Kon had sat there and held his hand the entire time Cissie stitched him up even though it was entirely unnecessary. Cissie had ordered him to hold Tim's hand for 'pain management' that was redundant seeing as he'd actually been numbed for those stitches, but the way that Kon's eyes had carefully tracked every one of Cissie's stitches gave him away as it having been more than just following an instruction. Then there was the time he'd stayed up for four days straight and Kon had straight up told him that it helped him to be able to make sure that he was getting enough sleep after that.

It was still weird, and he didn't understand how Kon could care about him enough that he'd actually get some amount of relief from making sure he was well, but he could still acknowledge that somehow that was what seemed to be happening.

So, instead of insisting on patching up his own scratches, he just leaned more of his weight back into Kon's chest and relaxed, letting the other boy take care of it, and if the pleased hum that Kon let out was anything to go by, then he'd made the right move.

Hell, apparently he'd made a lot of right moves tonight, all of them starting and ending with Kon.

.................................................

It was Girls'  Night! Finally! Their schedules, both civilian and superhero, had aligned well enough for them to plan this evening. It was a very special girls' night too, and that was because it was Anita's very first girls' night ever, or at least since she'd joined them here at Young Justice.

It was also particularly exciting because it was going to be her first hangout where Cissie would actually want her there after they'd talked everything out during the Wendy the Werewolf Stalker debacle. Anita was hesitant to admit it even to herself after Cissie's previous behaviour towards her immediately following the Olympics, but she was really hoping things would go smoothly tonight. Even after everything, Cissie King-Jones still had her admiration, and her friendship if she'd accept it, which it seemed like she wanted to otherwise Anita wouldn't have been so welcomingly invited to girl's night by her.

"So what do y'all usually do?" She asked as they made popcorn in the kitchen, "Other than presumably watch a movie."

Cassie shrugged, "I mean, if we are doing it here at the compound then the first thing we do is kick the boys out."

"Check!" Cissie grinned, "Kon and Rob flew off together half an hour ago, presumably for some sort of stakeout since Robin had a camera on him. Lobo is also off starting fights somewhere presumably, and Red Tornado is with his family for the night. So we are officially boy free."

Anita couldn't help but note that one of the boys had been left off the list, "What about Bart?" She asked.

Secret answered this time, "Oh, Bart's not here right now, but whenever he shows up he usually joins us." She explained, like it was a simple truth and not a contradiction to their previous rules.

"Ummm, unless I really missed something, isn't Bart one of the boys? Why is he included in girl's night?" She questioned, really starting to wonder if she was missing something and Bart somehow wasn't actually a boy.

Cissie and Cassie exchanged a glance at that and then both looked back at her and shrugged, "Look, you try kicking out Bart when he gets excited about snuggles and popcorn." Cissie defended.

That was a sort of valid point. Bart was easy enough to yell at when he was being annoying or causing problems on missions with his trademarked impulsivity, but he was also a sweetheart when he wasn't doing those things. He loved them all, and it was readily apparent. He never had any issue expressing that love and appreciation for all his friends and he was very physically affectionate too. So yeah, she could see how telling Bart that he wasn't allowed to join them might genuinely hurt the guy.

"Besides, Bart doesn't really count as one of the guys." Cassie added.

That got Anita to raise a brow at her, "How so?" Cause Bart definitely acted plenty like a stupid boy.

Cassie sighed, looking like she didn't quite know how to explain, "It's like, sure he can be plenty annoying and makes fart jokes and runs around shirtless and everything. But he doesn't... I don't know he just isn't..."

"He doesn't want to sleep with us." Cissie finished for her with a shrug.

"Yeah!" Cassie snaps her fingers and grins at Cissie in thanks, "It's more than that though. Cause like, not all guys outright sexualize us, but with Bart, it's like it's not even an option to him. We've got this theory that he doesn't even know what sex is."

"When she says 'we', she means herself, Rob, Kon, and Secret." Cissie butts in, "I think he knows and just isn't interested. I mean, he is technically only two."

"Kon's only, like, one, and he's definitely interested." Secret pointed out.

Cissie just shrugged though, "They're different people."

Anita decided to cut off that debate to focus on the more intriguing piece of info, "Wait, you seriously think he doesn't know what sex is? Did you ask?"

Cassie and Secret exchanged a look that time, and it was Cassie who answered to say, "Rob said we shouldn't bring it up with him. That he has a legal guardian plus the flashes and that it's their responsibility to teach him."

That was smart, but it was also so incredibly stupid. Yeah, it was Max and the flashes' responsibility to give Bart the birds and the bees talk, but it's not like Young Justice was unfamiliar with all the ways adults could fail them. Not to mention, not knowing about sex and running around as a teenager could get someone into some really bad situations, like the kind that would leave life-long trauma. She resolved to ignore Robin and just ask Bart later if he showed up tonight.

"Ok, before we go too far down that rabbit hole, Anita, it's your first official YJ girls' night, so you get to pick the first movie!" Cissie said, sliding down from where she'd been sitting on the counter and grabbing her bowl of popcorn as she headed for the living room area they'd set up.

The rest of them followed, grabbing their own popcorn bowls aside from Secret who couldn't eat. The movie options were limited, presumably because they hadn't been here long enough to really build up a collection. She ended up picking 10 Things I Hate About You once she found out that only Cassie had seen it. She'd almost asked how that was possible before she remembered Secret was incorporeal and had spent a good chunk of time in an underground lab and Cissie had spent a good chunk of her childhood under a rigorous training schedule and then had been pretty busy as a superhero.

Sometimes when hanging with Superheroes and vigilantes it was best to remember that very few of them had anything that even resembled a normal backstory.

They got far enough into the movie that they'd run out of popcorn and had moved on to painting their nails when Bart showed up.

"Hey guys! What're we doing?" He asked excitedly as he sat himself down right in between Cissie and Cassie and then wriggled around a bit until he was securely under Cassie's arm.

She expected some amount of jealousy to at least flicker across Cissie's face at Bart having literally come in between them where they'd been leaning against each other on the couch. (And don't think she hadn't noticed how they'd been sitting together on the couch, because she totally did and Cissie had blushed when she'd shot her a knowing look so Anita knew she knew that she was soooo onto her.) There wasn't any jealousy though, instead both Cassie and Cissie just looked at him with fond exasperation before they went back to what they were doing.

"Oooooh can we paint mine too! Kon had black nails a while ago and they looked so crash." Bart asked excitedly, "Except I don't want black, I want some to match my suit."

"There's a yellow, or a red, but it's not the right shade of red to match the Impulse suit." Secret said, peering into the open bag of nail polishes that was on the floor.

At the same time, Cissie muttered testily, "Yeah, that's cause he took my black nail polish and still hasn't given it back."

"I can steal it back next time I'm in his room." Bart offered easily, then turned to Secret, "Can I please have the yellow?"

Secret made her arm corporeal for a moment so she could pick up the yellow and then tossed it to Bart. He reached out and caught it easily from the air.

"No, don't worry, I intend to take care of it." Cissie waved him off with a flippant hand gesture, though that didn't make her words any less ominous.

Anita mentally wished Kon the best of luck, then remembered that Kon probably deserved whatever retaliation Cissie had planned for the stolen nail polish and retracted her wish.

Cissie then plucked the bottle of yellow nail polish from Bart's fingers and smacked it against her palm a couple of times before opening it. She made a gimme motion with her free hand, and Bart placed one of his hands in hers with an ease that told Anita this wasn't their first time doing this. Cissie began painting his nails in even strokes, the two of them quiet the entire time. Actually, everyone was pretty quiet, just focused on painting nails and the movie playing quietly in the background, and Anita figured she wasn't going to find an easier opening to ask her earlier question tonight.

"Hey Bart?" She prodded, getting the other boy's attention and once she had it continued asking, "Do you know what sex is?"

The rest of the girls spluttered, whipping to stare at her in shock. Meanwhile Bart just shrugged.

"Yeah." He answered easily enough.

"Anita! Cassie hissed, "We aren't supposed to- wait did you say yes?" She whipped back to face Bart once she seemed to process his answer.

"I mean, yeah." Bart answered, shrugging again, "Why?"

Cissie pumped a fist in the air, " I knew it! I was totally right!"

"You... know what sex is?" Cassie clarified haltingly, "Like, all of it? Who gave you the talk?"

"Man, why does everyone think I don't know?" Bart huffed before answering, "I mean, I already knew the science and, like, mechanics of it, then Max went over all that stuff again except it was more 'son, when you find the right lady...' and less anatomy and procreation focused. Then Kon gave me the talk too."

That had everyone surprised, all of them looking around at each other with wide eyes while Bart just looked at them all confused.

"Kon gave you the talk?" Cissie asked, voice full of the same disbelief they were all feeling.

"Kon, as in Kon-El? Superboy?" Anita specified, because truly there was no way.

"Yeah," Bart answered in a tone that really said duh, "We don't even know any other Kons."

Cassie groaned, "I can't believe this. He both went against Robin's 'leave it alone' order and he thought he was a good authority on sex ed. May the entire Greek Pantheon help us."

Anita could understand the frustration, they'd now inevitably have to spend a good chunk of their girls' night unteaching whatever Kon had taught Bart about sexual relations.

"I can only imagine what he taught you after what he told me he thought a romantic relationship was back when he and Rob had to fake date for that one mission." Cissie commiserated.

Hold up, Kon and Rob had done what?

"Rob as in Robin? They fake dated?" She asked, because that was definitely something she hadn't known about before.

The rest of the room looked over at her with owl eyes, "Huh, I forgot you weren't around back then." Secret finally broke the silence, "Yeah, they had to fake being runaway boyfriends in San Francisco for a couple days so we could bait a group of serial killers."

"Oh mon, I can only imagine how that went." She laughed, "How long did it take for them to be able to look each other in the eye afterwards?"

That got a couple exchanged looks and a couple of shrugs, "Actually they weren't awkward at all afterward. Things just kind of went right back to normal." Cassie answered.

"Seriously?" Anita could barely believe it.

"I mean, I think any awkwardness they might've had afterward went out the door cause Rob ended that mission by getting lightly tortured and needing stitches and Kon was pretty freaked about it since he had to watch it happen and all." Cissie explained, "Or at least that's my theory, and judging by my record with theories, I should be trusted." She gestured to Bart in a clear call-out to when she'd disagreed earlier with the other's theory.

"Huh, honestly I was expecting more to laugh at from that scenario." Anita said, though maybe she should've known something on the mission would go upside down.

Plus, Young Justice as a general rule moved on from insane shit way too fast all the time. So maybe that really was in character.

"Oh there was definitely plenty." Cassie laughed, exchanging an amused glance with Cissie and then with Secret.

"Yeah, they were superrrrr bad at it." Bart nodded his agreement, "It was really funny for the first practice day they had, then they figured it out and got really good at it."

"Figured it out?" Anita asked, curious to see exactly how backwards of a formula they'd managed to come up with while still getting the right answer.

Cissie cleared her throat, "Yeah, Kon at least had some backwards ideas about what a romantic relationship was supposed to be so I told them that, since there was no reason they'd even need to kiss for their roles, to take the 'trying to fake wanting to bang' out of the equation and to just act like they cared about each other and were really comfortable in each other's spaces." Cissie let out a heavy sigh and stared at the ceiling like it could give her answers, "And because they're morons they decided that they'd just 'act like me and Cassie and everyone would think they were dating'. And it worked."

Cissie avoided looking at her at all costs. It was apparent how much of a loaded gun that statement was. Especially considering that this had happened before Anita had even met Cissie and that night at the Olympics, which meant that not even Cissie herself had realized how much that statement meant at the time.

It was clear she knew now, even as Cassie laughed at her side, painfully oblivious.

Anita chose to be merciful, even though she'd definitely be teasing Cissie about this later when it was just the two of them, and instead changed the subject.

"Wait, we've gotten off track." She said, grabbing everyone's attention easily, "Bart, you gotta tell us what Kon told you, cause I don't think any of us can go on in good conscience letting you believe whatever he was saying."

Bart frowned at that, "I don't know why you guys are so sure that he's wrong. Everything he told me made sense."

Anita cringed, this might be harder than they thought.

"Well, I'm sure some of the stuff he said was probably right." Cassie assured him, "It's just, I definitely know some stuff about his dating history, and I've heard enough of the comments he makes that make me think he doesn't completely understand everything well enough to be teaching it."

It was kinder than Anita would have phrased it. Kinder than Cissie or Secret would've phrased it too if their expressions were anything to go by. Kon wasn't an asshole or a total creep or anything, but he was definitely a teenage boy by all accounts, and teenage boys never seemed to treat girls as well as they should. At least not in Anita's experience thus far.

Bart still looked like he didn't quite believe them, but he shrugged and answered anyway, "So once he realized that I already knew about, like, what sex was, he basically just explained the social part of it and what stuff to avoid."

"The social part?" Secret asked, brows furrowed in confusion, "Like dating?"

"Not really. He talked about consent a lot." Bart shrugged, giving Cissie his other hand when she tapped it to get those nails painted too, "He also gave me a sorta list on what to avoid in a girlfriend and then made me make some promises. That was about it."

That was, admittedly not what Anita had been expecting. She was a little bit apprehensive to find out what Kon's standards for consent were and even more apprehensive to find out what traits in a girl Kon thought should be avoided. Kon may be her teammate and her friend, but he was also a total skirt chaser, so she felt like her apprehension was valid.

"Can you elaborate on all that?" Cassie nudged him, "What did he tell you about consent?"

"Umm, well first he said that consent was always needed, from both sides, and that that was, like, the most important thing ever. That it should verbally be confirmed ideally by both or all parties, and that consent doesn't count if anyone isn't right in their head for some reason, like if they're under mind control or drunk or anything like that. Then he said that consent could also be taken back at any time and that I should always listen if someone says stop and other people should always listen if I say stop and if they try to make me do stuff anyway then I can hit them as hard as I want to. Then I asked if I could bite them and he said that I could fuck them up however I want."

Anita snickered at that, and the other girls also looked amused.

"He also said that I shouldn't ever sleep with someone if I was in a position of power over them and that no one should ever try to do anything with me if they were in a position of power over me, like a teacher or police officer or doctor or anything like that. He said if they did then I could run away as fast as I wanted to." Bart continued, "I think that was it for the consent stuff, but I can ask him for the presentation if you want to see that?"

"He made a presentation?" Cassie asked, tone as taken aback as Anita felt, to her knowledge Kon had never so much as taken notes much less made a presentation for something.

Frankly, his understanding and teaching about consent was surprising too. She hadn't expected Kon to have said anything rape-y, but there was a big difference between a clear and healthy outlining of consent and what she'd expected, which was something along the lines of, 'if a girl says no you gotta leave her be'.

"Yeah, he made it on my drawing pad. Robin would've been proud of it." Bart nodded, "I thought it was a little boring though, especially since I don't even want to have sex with anyone. He said that I should learn about it anyway because people can use sex to hurt other people, and that the easiest way for someone to hurt someone else is if the person being hurt doesn't know about this stuff cause then they don't know what's happening or why they're hurting."

And that was... effectively what Anita had been thinking earlier, wasn't it? The exact thought that had made her feel the need to make sure Bart knew about this stuff too.

It was disturbing to have shared that thought with Kon, who, to her knowledge, had no reason to think so differently to how she'd heard the other boys at school talk about sex much less to be talking to another boy about it that way. Suddenly, she desperately needed to know what else Kon had told Bart.

"What stuff did he tell you to avoid?" She asked Bart, who seemed to be done getting his nails painted and was now waving his hands around fast enough that they were just a blur so he could presumably dry them.

"Oh, um, well he said the most important thing was that if anyone made me uncomfortable for any reason, even if I wasn't sure why, then I should walk away. Then he said that if anyone was more than 2 years older than me, and especially if they were any sort of adult, and they made a move on me, then I should immediately get outta there and go tell Max or one of the flashes or someone in Young Justice." Bart explained, done waving his hands around and now admiring his freshly yellow nails as he continued absent-mindedly, "Then he said that if someone ignored my boundaries, or made fun of them, or tried to talk me out of them, or tried to make me feel guilty about having them then I should avoid that person too. He also said that if I have a villain that I'm trying to turn good then I shouldn't get sexually or romantically involved with them at all, especially if they want me to kill people, and especially if they could overpower me really easily. There were definitely some other details and stuff, but that's what I remember."

It wasn't enough, Anita needed to know the rest of it too, and judging by the rapt silence the other girls were in, so did they, "What promises did he have you make?"

"He basically just made me promise that if I ever didn't feel like I could handle a situation on my own, or even just if I didn't want to, then I'd call him so he could come help." Bart shrugged, "Then he promised me that he'd always believe me if I said someone else hurt me or tried to hurt me like that, or even just made me feel weird even if I don't have evidence. Then he asked if anyone had ever done any of that before, and when I told him about my one classmate he asked for her address, but I didn't know it. So then he made me promise that if she tried anything again then I'd call him."

That had alarm bells ringing in Anita's head for several reasons. And clearly in everyone else's heads too.

"Bart, what happened with your classmate?" Cassie asked, looping her arm back around his shoulders and giving him a good squeeze.

"Nothing really, she just said she wanted to show me something in a shed, then she locked me in there with her and tried to kiss me." Bart shrugged, "It was really weird, and dark, so I just left. That was it."

Ok. Well. Anita didn't love that. The idea of anyone trying to trick Bart into something like that felt all sorts of wrong, and if she ever met this girl they'd definitely be exchanging words. At least Bart didn't feel social pressure the way most of them did and was able to just leave easily without feeling pressured into anything he didn't want to do.

She was also a little curious to know what Kon had planned to do with the girl's address.

"So, to recap. You know what sex and kissing and all that is, you just don't like it?" Secret asked, head tilting a little to the side in consideration, "Sounds kinda nice actually, better than wanting that stuff and not having a body to do it with."

Bart shrugged, "Yeah, basically. I mean, I like it when you kiss my cheek and stuff," he turned to Cissie, "But other than that it all just seems super weird and like something I have no interest in so why would I try doing it? It'd probably suck to want to and not be able to though." He gave a nod to Secret.

Cissie ducked down to kiss his cheek and Bart grinned at her like she was the sun itself. Anita was beginning to understand why neither Cissie nor Cassie had been bothered earlier when Bart had literally wriggled his way in between them. How could they be? She began to wonder how anyone could be irritated by Bart ever and then she remembered all the stupid and impulsive crap he pulled when he wasn't being a sweet angel and revoked her previous thought.

"What're you thinking Cassie?" Cissie asked, "You've got your worried face on."

Cassie's head shot up, blinking in surprise as she was now the room's focus, "Oh, nothing really. Just something Rob and I talked about a while ago that we might need to revisit."

Well, that was certainly ominous, "C'mon, you gotta give us more that that!" Anita tried to wheedle.

Cassie bit her lip, seeming incredibly unsure, "It's just, a while ago I briefly met someone Kon had dated, and it raised some serious concerns for me. It wasn't the... appropriate time.... to talk to Kon about it, so I didn't, but I did talk to Robin about it. We both figured that, given Kon's background, he probably didn't know that anything that'd happened around him had been wrong, and it also wasn't the right time to try and tell him. So we decided to, keep an eye on it, make sure he didn't get into a bad situation again, at least not without someone to tell him what was happening and to try and help. Except... Bart, what you just told us, it implies that he did know. So, I'm gonna need to talk to Rob about it at some point."

There were a lot of implications in those words. They were the kinds of implications that she didn't want to make any assumptions about though.

"Care to elaborate on that?" She asked.

Cassie just shook her head though, "No. It's not the kind of thing I should be sharing with everyone." She cleared her throat, "Besides, this is girls' night, enough talk about the boys! We should focus back on the movie! Bart, have you ever seen 10 Things I Hate About You?"

Bart, easily distractible at the best of times, easily followed the subject change. Anita chose not to hound Cassie about it, because if the implications she thought Cassie was putting down were right then this really wasn't the kind of thing that should be shared about someone else like this. She'd definitely be paying closer attention to Kon now though.

"Do you think those are real?" Bart asked, pointing to where the two characters on the screen were on a lake in one of those boats that you peddled around, "I saw a movie once where one was shaped like a big duck, wouldn't it be so crash to ride around in one?"

"Yeah, Bart, they're real." Cissie nodded, "I saw them on a lake one time."

"Awesome! Do you think we could get one for the team. Like, as an official mode of transportation?" Bart bounced in his seat excitedly, "We could paint all our logos on it! And me and Kon could peddle it way faster than a speedboat could go!"

"I dunno about doing it for the team," Cassie said, "But for the next girls' day we have we can definitely find a lake that has them and go on a ride."

.................................................

Jim Harper was dead. He'd died taking Kon's place on a mission so Kon could take the easier- grosser, but nonetheless easier- mission and then get a bit of shut eye after the exhausting week he'd had.

His own mission was long forgotten now. After all, how was he meant to think about the swamp chick who'd bewitched him into getting with and marrying her (sooooo gross) when he'd returned to find Gaurdian dead.

Gaurdian who had been like his boss/mentor/overseer. Gaurdian who had not been his parent or even pretended to be, but who, by nature, had occasionally been a bit paternal. Gaurdian who had never been particularly affectionate but who sometimes placed a hand on Kon's shoulders and squeezed. No matter how small of a touch it was Kon would always crave it. He still did crave it, there was just no chance of him getting a shoulder pat now since Gaurdian was dead.

There was a funeral. Of course there was, he'd been a hero to multiple generations, he'd been integral to CADMUS, and he'd been beloved to pretty much everyone who'd known him.

Robin was there. At the funeral. All of Young Justice was actually, which he appreciated, he really did. Kon didn't have a family thanks to being a clone and all, so he just kind of had to run around picking people to care about to fill that void and hope he was right to pick them cause it was always devastating when he wasn't. So it meant a lot that the group of fellow teens that he'd chosen to care about were here to help him mourn the loss of someone else he'd chosen to care about.

They'd hugged him, all huddled together in one big group as they held him. He didn't cry, even if he felt like their arms would be a safe place to do so, he just couldn't. He felt a hand cup the back of his neck, right at the top where it became the back of his head instead, fingers just shy of lacing through his hair. He knew it was Robin's hand even though he wasn't quite sure how he knew. He also understood what Robin was trying to tell him with the touch, that should he need or want comfort then he was available and ready to help however Kon needed.

It was a kind offer, and a genuine one. When he got to his assigned quarters that night though, he did so alone, with no intention of having Robin join him. It wasn't that he wasn't desperately craving the safety and warmth he could only find with Robin's arms wrapped around him, because he definitely was, it was just that he didn't deserve it. Not when he'd gotten Gaurdian killed. So he'd spent the night alone, trying to get what restless bits of sleep he could before he and the other CADMUS agents went on their mission to avenge Gaurdian tomorrow.

And wasn't it just so ironic that catching up on sleep was why he'd asked Gaurdian to trade missions with him in the first place, and now he felt like he'd never sleep properly again.

Then things got really crazy really fast.

Crazy thing number one being that Gaurdian wasn't dead. Or, rather, he had truly died, he'd just been cloned back to life against his wishes.

Very against his wishes.

So then Kon was the caretaker of a baby that he'd kidnapped, and there were three really hot chicks trying to kill him and kidnap baby Jim.

Kon was on his own too. Robin himself had said that they couldn't back him when he'd gone against the US government by stealing their property. Even though, admittedly Robin had looked like he wanted to do the opposite of what he'd been saying, Kon still wasn't sure what to think. The 'government property' in question was a baby a human being! Shouldn't that have been enough reason to go against the government?

Whatever. He could decide what he thought about Robin's choice later. There was too much going on right now for him to sit and ponder it.

Baby Jim started aging rapidly and soon he was kindergarten age and starting to remember things. Then CADMUS was gone, or taken over and moved, he wasn't entirely sure which, the most important thing being that all his CADMUS friends were gone with it.

So. He set out to do something about it, because how could he not? He'd set himself and a now 8 year old Jim up to infiltrate a Lexacorp building, because of fucking course they had something to do with all this.

That was when he got a bit of good news! Serling and Heatwave were ok! They were actually in the sewers also trying to break into the Lexacorp building, so at least he wasn't in this alone anymore.

They got caught. Of course they got caught, and of course they got caught trying to help some crazy lady who actually wanted to be there getting experimented on. That was when things went downhill at an impressively sharp decline.

"Amanda Spence?!" He could barely believe his eyes, but it had to be her!

Or, at least, what was left of her? What was left of her looked really fucked up though. She was mostly robot and weapon, and what skin she had left was warped and cracked. Looking at her felt awful, though to be fair, seeing her was always going to be bad since the last time he saw her was when she murdered Tana right in front of him.

"In the flesh... what's left of it. So nice to have been remembered." She looked down at him with a shark's grin that was enough to turn what parts of his stomach that hadn't already been upset by her appearance.

A woman looking at him like that never meant anything good. Especially not when he was tied down like this. It was a bit reminiscent of all the times Kay had put him on his back, she'd looked at him like this too, one of a million reasons he was stupid to have not realized she wasn't good or even trying to be. It was different in one notable way this time, and that was the tray of medical equipment sitting innocuously next to Spence. There were needles on the tray.

Kon really hated needles.

"What's going on here Amanda?" He asked, anything to have her talking and not doing anything with that tray, "Is this some sort of sick revenge thing?"

"Yes... and no. It's difficult to exact revenge when one has less than enough tissue left on her to fill a milk jug." Good, she was talking, now he just had to get her to keep doing that, thankfully she had no problem doing so, "So, I've turned my genius towards more patriotic pursuits. In exchange for a better body. In short, I am on the side of the red white and blue- and you are an expatriate with stolen goods."

It was mid-tier as far as villain speeches went. What was deeply disturbing was how quickly the US government had seemingly decided clones were lo longer people and instead 'goods'.

"Those 'stolen goods' grew into a little boy called Gaurdian! Who didn't want to be cloned again-" he was cut off from his argument by Spence pushing a button and all the sudden there were robot arms wielding scalpels and huge ass needles, he gulped, "Hello, sharp!"

He did his level best to stop his fear from becoming obvious. The last thing he ever wanted to do was show Amanda Spence his fear.

"Funny thing about clones, Superboy. They think they have a say in their ultimate destiny." She laughed, a truly evil glint in her eye, "When they're really no more than spare parts."

That was when things got bad. He wasn't sure if what she was doing was some sort of experiment or just plain torture. Was there really a difference? He was beginning to think there wasn't, maybe there'd never been, if this was what it'd all lead to. He'd thought he'd been seen as human, by CADMUS and by extension the US government that had green-lit and supplied the operation. This was certainly an eye opening experience for just how wrong he'd been about that though.

Fuck, had he ever been seen as human by any of these people? Had he ever been human to anyone.

It felt like the kind of thought that he would've thought drastic even just a few days ago. It felt more and more real every time electricity jolted through him and needles dug into his skin now though.

He wished he could get through these damn barriers. He couldn't fucking touch his own goddamn restraints though, they were just an inch away from his skin, surrounded by a forcefield of some sort that he couldn't get through, so he couldn't use his TTK to burst out, but his body was contorted around the various restraints on the table so that he couldn't move away from one without bumping straight into another.

He needed to touch something not connected to this contraption, anything that wasn't on this table. Just one object or being that he could manipulate with his TTK to break himself out of here.

It was difficult to think of a plan around the bursts of electricity coursing through him and Spence's sadistic speech.

"...Phase energy needles, kinetic dampeners. You'll be dissected within the hour." She informed him, something akin to outright glee in her tone, "And I'll be the first to wear your prized pelt."

Fuck it. He couldn't use his TTK to get him out, so, like Robin was always begging him to do, it was time to use his head.

His head was saying it was time to bluff.

"Get a clue, Amanda! Every time you put the iron's to me I-" he was cut off by the strangled scream that was torn out of his throat with another round of voltage, but he grit his teeth and kept going, "I just g-get stronger! Like n-now, I'm priming my 'Laser Scald Vision' right on that bionic spill you c-call a f-face!"

"Uh, should we do something?" The guard standing by the control panel asked Spence, "That sounds painful."

"He's bluffing, you dolt." Spence spat out.

Kon was bluffing, but he only needed to convince one of them.

"Oh, Hereeeee it comes!" He announced to the room as dramatically as he could, "Hope you like it hot in that armor big boy! D-dog tags are a roastin'!"

"Sorry Ms. Spence, but I gotta man the protocols!" The guard called out, slamming a button on the control panel and then diving towards Kon.

"No, you idiot!" Spence cried, trying to pull the guard back before he got too close to Kon, but she was too late.

"Gotta love government employees!" Kon grinned right before his bit the guard's arm as hard as he could.

The contact was enough for him to trace down through the guard's body down to the floor and then back up through the table with his TTK. He had his restraints torn up and off in only a second after that, and with plenty of time to throw in a quip about how the guard needed to wash his uniform. Then, Amanda Spence had his full and undivided attention.

"You can't treat people - my friends - like toys! Not anymore!" He cried, diving straight for her.

"Ooh, you show such fire!" She mocked, seeming far too unbothered, "Fighting for your own hide and Gaurdian's. Where was this initiative when I killed your fragile little Tana?"

Kon felt like his breath had been knocked right out of him. Then rage burned sudden and hot through his veins. Not that it did him too much good, he was holding his own against her, but just barely. Her new body was packing some serious heat, and his anger wasn't enough to carry him through this fight. Not that that stopped him from trying.

She had no problem bringing up the people he cared about. He hated to admit it, but the distraction was working a bit.

"Right now, Guardian is probably being downloaded into about fifteen thousand proto-clones." She announced, grinning as she blasted him into the wall, "Wishing we'd left him dead!"

Guardian definitely was wishing he'd been left dead. It had been his wish before he'd even died. That was the whole fucking point!

"You'll be able to relate shortly!" She added with a laugh.

He wasn't sure if she just meant he'd wish he was dead too soon, or if there were a bunch of proto-clones he was supposed to be downloaded into too. He didn't intend to find out which.

"We- We're not your property!" He exclaimed, cause she'd never seemed to get that basic truth through her head.

"Of course you're not! You're broken, and I like my specimens intact." She shot back, right before she kicked him clean through the ceiling.

The fight continued for another few moments before they really ended up going through the side of the building... which turned out to not even be a building. Buildings didn't exist in the middle of space. And that was where they were, in space, floating around in the vacuum.

What. The. Fuck.

He'd been in the Lexacorp tower last he'd checked. So. Again. What the fuck?

He didn't have time to wonder how the hell he'd been shot into space without even noticing, because he had to get himself and Spence back into the ship before they died in the vacuum of space.

That would probably be a really shitty way to go.

By a stroke of luck and somehow his own genius, he managed to get them back to the ship and plug up the hole that was sucking everything out into space.

That would be when he got attacked, again, because of course. This time it wasn't Spence though, she seemed to still be recovering from their little space walk. No, this time it was one of the hot chicks, the one in blue, from the grocery store who'd tried to kidnap baby Guardian and kill Kon.

Who even tried to kidnap a baby? Evil people, probably.

Except, it seemed like maybe this girl wasn't so evil at all actually. She seemed far more interested in talking to him now that she had him on his back and she was on top of him instead of going for the killing blow that she'd tried for last time they'd met. He still wasn't happy about the positioning, but he could talk if she'd rather do this than fight.

He felt wierd about the fact that he didn't really like being on his back for a pretty girl, he was definitely supposed to like it, despite the violent scenario. But that was really not what he needed to think about right now.

"I just can't get past the fact that you're working for chumps like Spence and Good." He told her, staying ready, but not making any moves to try and throw her off even if he had to grit his teeth to do it.

"Maybe I didn't think I had a choice." She shot back, and he blinked.

Somehow he hadn't been expecting that, but it was also definitely something he could work with.

"What if you did?" He asked.

He blinked. She was dead. Staring at him with wide unseeing eyes from the floor next to him.

"She doesn't." Spence stated, and Kon could barely breathe.

Scratch that. He couldn't breath. Or, well, he could breath, but she couldn't. Cherub? Was that her name? He couldn't remember but he was pretty sure that was what one of the other D.N.Angels had called her.

"I'm ready to answer your questions now, boy! Waller wants political power, she found Good, who wanted an army." Spence cackled, any part of her that had even vaguely resembled a human was gone now, "I married them both in blood, clones, and bodies so I can get what I want."

"Why?!" He practically wailed, still kneeling by Cherub's body, "Haven't you done enough? Why did you have to kill her?"

He didn't realize a loss could hit so hard when he hadn't even known her. She was a clone too though, one who'd wanted a life and choices, things that she should have had anyway, things that she was entitled to by nature of existing. She'd been stripped of life in a second though, cruelly and carelessly and without a hint of remorse. Treated like she didn't matter dead or alive. His grief was bigger than her. He mourned himself too, he mourned Jim Harper, and every other clone who was nothing at all to people like Spence and apparently the US government and possibly everyone. They were people though. No matter what anyone else said, and he would mourn them all even if he was the only one to do it. Starting with Cherub.

"The agenda was formed to clone and improve upon metahumans. Match, Uberman, even you." Spence carried on in the background, though he was barely even paying attention to her, "But you ruined us! A clone piece of trash! So I dedicated myself to making things right!"

"No... no... Cherub." He choked out around the tears filling his eyes as he squeezed her hand in both of his, "I'm sorry."

"The D.N.Angels were the first field test at total recombination of metahuman DNA. A pinch of you, some Impulse, and with a dash of Wonder Girl..." Spence continued on, unaware of the grief morphing into rage in his bones, "The wings and morphing were a surprise, but before you could say 'what the-' the Agenda went boom."

"I'll kill you." He growled out, and that seemed to finally derail her speech, at least enough for her to start laughing at him.

"Ha! Try! No heart left to stop, no lungs to rip out!" She exclaimed in glee, "I'm like you now! Spare parts forged to a higher purpose, and you want to know the best part?"

No. He really didn't.

"Shut up." He told her, wrapping a hand around her neck and holding her up so her feet were dangling in the air.

No one else would die by her hand. Tana and Cherub were already two too many. No one else.

"Hahaha, through my work I've been able to ensure your constant suffering!" She informed him, unimpeded by the hand tight around her throat, "Why do you think sweet little Cherub was so appealing to you? It wasn't the Impulse gene. I used the genetic template of someone close to you, someone you'd hate to lose... dear sweet Tana Moon!"

He glanced over to Cherub's body, and saw Tana lying dead. The two of them merging together into one.

No one else.

He blacked out a bit after that. Rage or grief he wasn't sure. She'd said something about how she couldn't be stopped, how her work could never be stopped. Maybe she was right, he didn't really care. He might not be able to stop her work, but he could end her, even if she claimed to be immortal.

That was when he shot her into space at Mach one million. Never to be seen again. She could enjoy the cold void for the rest of goddamn eternity.

The other two D.N.Angels had come for Cherub then. Had said something about trying to save her, he wasn't really sure. In his experience you couldn't save people who had that dead, unseeing stare, but they were welcome to try. She was their sister after all.

He came back to himself slowly as he wandered the halls of the space ship in search of his friends. The rage was still there, but it was feeling more and more like the heavy weight of grief that just kept getting heavier and heavier with everything that happened. He wondered when it would finally crush him.

He wondered what the difference between grief and betrayal was. If there was even a difference at all.

He eventually found his friends. They were locked in some sort of control room with general Good up on his floating couch that he treated like a soapbox and a throne all in one. Kon let his grief turn back into rage, charging the man without paying a single bit of attention to whatever the hell he was monologuing about. He was done listening to these assholes.

Then he bounced off the forcefield Good apparently had around his stupid flying chair. Figures. Whatever, he wasn't gonna listen to the man, so he'd have to make the man listen to him.

"Good! You listen to me, Good!" He yelled up at him, "I know what's going on up here and there's no way I'm gonna let you-"

A huge explosion played out across the giant monitor behind Good, and Kon couldn't help but be immediately distracted because, well...

"Is that Apokolips?!" He couldn't help but ask, fully stopped in his tracks.

"Kid, you might want to listen to the general." Heatwave told him, even as he grimaced while he said it, "Things have gotten all complicated."

Apokolips wasn't the only planet on screen though, and it wasn't the only explosion.

"Tell me about it, what are we watching Serls?" He asked, praying it wasn't what it looked like.

"Topeka, Kansas." Serling said, sounding like she was in shock, "Two hundred thousand people dead, the city is gone. Kon, I- I think we're going to war."

The words were chilling. He hadn't realized how much he'd never wanted to hear them until he did.

"You feel it now, don't you boy? Destiny supplanting your individual need with her own?" Good exclaimed, grinning down at them like this was exactly what he'd wanted, "This is the worst premeditated attack on US soil since Pearl Harbor. We will retaliate, but the strength of our army will be determined in this room. Would you deprive the world of an army that would undoubtedly save lives? Simply so a clone could feel like a real boy?"

This was what Spence had been taking about. He could see a teenaged Gaurdian hooked up to some sort of machine. Draining him. Presumably downloading his knowledge, memory, and essence into those fifteen thousand proto-clones. That had to be the army Good was referring to.

It would be a really effective army. There was absolutely no denying that. Unfortunately for Good, that wasn't the question Kon cared about.

Kon grabbed the tubes hooked into Guardian's back, bracing to pull them out, "Hold still Jim, this might sting. Unless you don't want me to?"

"Do it." Jim nodded sharply, before sending a soft grin over his shoulder, "And thanks for asking, Superboy."

"You do not get to make this choice, dog!" Good screamed as Kon started pulling at the tubes.

"You're right! I don't!" Kon shot back, gritting his teeth as he put more of his strength into pulling at the tubes, "But he does! I made my friend a promise! A promise that no one would chart the course for his life, cloned or otherwise, but him!"

Kon felt electricity running through him as the tubes started to come loose. He didn't stop pulling though, he couldn't. He couldn't say ethically if what he was doing was the right or the wrong thing, but he was certain that it was still the most important thing he'd ever done.

"You stole his body! You took away his choice!" He screamed, and he swore his voice was carrying the words of many people, not just his own, but maybe that was just the brain frying, "We're taking back all of it! Promise kept!"

"Stop that! Stop! The clones! Youre destroying them!" He heard Good cry out distantly, "God in heaven, my army! No!"

"Right or wrong, it's his choice! You'll just have to find another way General." Kon carried on, ignoring the protests, "One that doesn't trample the same freedoms you claim to be fighting for!"

The electricity was overwhelming as he finally managed to tear free the tubes. Distantly, there was an explosion. Too far away for him to feel it, but he did. Same as the fifteen thousand proto-clones felt it. He wasn't sure how he was connected to them, maybe because he was still holding the tubes, but he felt it as they were destroyed.

He felt the singular moment that every one of them came to life, the singular moment that they had awareness, the same awareness Gaurdian had. They knew what was happening, that that moment of awareness was all that they would ever have. He felt their knowledge of Guardian's choice, their understanding of it, their contentment with it. He felt their singular sigh of relief echo in his own chest. Then he felt nothing more than himself.

It was silent for a moment before he came back full to himself. The second he did his ears were berated by yelling.

"Abomination! Do you know what you've done?! You woeful clone!" Good was screaming as he rushed towards Kon, grabbing him and lifting him by the neck to scream in his face some more.

"S-scored one for the good ones, sir." Kon managed to snap out in reply, even though the world was spinning and his hearing and vision kept going in and out.

The electricity must have really done some damage.

"You broke my toys!" Good screamed, Kon wondered if now would be a good time to fall asleep, probably not, "I'll kill you for this! Piece by recycled piece! Atom by atom!"

Then there were wayyyy more people in the room, and Good wasn't shaking him around so much anymore. Or at all actually, where had Good gone?

Serling was at his side, murmuring something to him, and trying to shake him awake, even though he wasn't asleep. He'd like to be asleep.

A deep booming voice said something about being drafted, and that was when Kon's world was replaced with darkness.

———————————-

Kon woke up to the earth shaking. He sat up straight, groaning at the aches present throughout his entire body.

"Good to see you awake, Kid. We were starting to get worried." Heatwave greeted, sending him a wan smile.

"Where are we?" He asked, looking around at what seemed to be some sort of shuttle.

"We just touched down on earth." Serling answered, "Next stop is the medic center, for me at least. I think Heatwave is going to hit up the JSA to see if they could use an extra member to fight in the war."

Right, the war. Shit.

"I should find Young Justice. See what our assignment is." He said, rubbing a hand over his face.

Was it too selfish to hope he could get a bit more sleep before he got sent off to the front lines?

"Yeah, that's probably for the best." Heatwave nodded, "I hope they'll keep you kids out of the worst of it."

Kon didn't. The last thing he felt like he needed after the last few days was to be sheltered. He was too raw, had been exposed to too much of the evil in the world for shielding him to do any good at this point.

He nodded anyway, following them off the spaceship in sullen silence.

"Assignments dint get handed off till tomorrow." Heatwave informed him once they reached the car waiting for him and Serling, "I'm not gonna tell you what to do with the last night before the war, but I'll strongly recommend you spend it with someone you care about."

He nodded, not really having an argument against that.

Serling threw her arms around him, "Be safe!" She practically ordered, "Please be safe! I'd rather not see you in whatever med center I end up being put in, but you can always come find me if you need it, ok?"

He wrapped his arms around her in return, "I'll do my best." He promised, "You be safe too, and you, Heatwave. We're all that's left, and I really don't want to see us go extinct."

He already had too much to mourn without adding them to the list.

"Yeah, we will kid." Heatwave nodded resolutely.

Serling pulled back, wiping at her eyes and nodding her agreement.

"I'll see you on the other side then." He said, and they both nodded their agreement before getting in the car.

He didn't wait around to see them drive off, he didn't want to. Instead, he flew to the only place he wanted to spend the last night he possibly had alive.

Robin's house was dark except for the one window by the old oak tree. The way it always was. Despite the intimidation of the cold and looming shadow of the frankly huge house, Robin's window always managed to seem inviting to him.

Kon got all the way to the branches of the oak before he paused. He could see Robin inside, sitting at his desk with a bowl of whatever was probably his dinner and his laptop open and playing some animated movie.

He'd been so sure flying here, but now it felt like the air was frozen in his lungs.

Kon's world had been flipped upside down in the last couple of days, then it'd been shaken like a freaking snow globe in the last few hours. Frankly he wasn't sure where any of the pieces had fallen in the aftermath.

He'd been so sure of his place in the world. Of how the world viewed his place too.

He was Superboy, a superhero, and to his friends he was Kon-El too. Most importantly though, he was a person. He hadn't ever doubted that. He hadn't ever doubted that that was how other people viewed him either. Sure there'd always been the random asshole who claimed clones were less than, but those were outliers.

If one thing was clear in the aftermath of the last few days, that view point was no longer held by outliers. It had likely never been held by outliers. It was a textbook case of a silent majority.

The thing was, he wasn't entirely sure who was in that majority and who wasn't.

Was it- could Robin possibly be a part of that majority? Kon wanted to say no, to reject the idea immediately, but... Robin hadn't been willing to have Young Justice back him when he'd taken baby Guardian. Had even referred to baby Guardian as stolen government property.

Did he... did Robin secretly think of Kon as government property too?

It's- it was unlikely, but it wasn't impossible. This last couple hours had more than proven that it would have to be possible.

Frankly, he was too tired to try and figure it out, and more than that he didn't want to. No matter what he'd been going to war tomorrow at Robin's side. It would probably be best if he didn't find out that Robin secretly thought of him as less than human before they did that. He could figure it out after the war, provided they survived it.

Deciding to table it for later didn't fix the now though. Heatwave had recommended he spend the night with someone he cared about and wanted to be with. That person was Robin, or at least it had been. He couldn't spend the night with Robin with these kinds of questions and doubts bouncing around in his head though.

So he didn't. Kon flew away. All the way back to the Young Justice headquarters at the hotel, and settled on the couch in the living room.

He spent his last night alone.

Chapter Text

There was an apple in Cissie's hand.

She'd asked Cassie if she really trusted her so much with a bow and quiver slung over one shoulder and an apple in her hand.

Of course. Of course! She trusted Cissie with everything! With her whole life! It was as easy as breathing to let Cissie shoot an apple off her head to prove it to her.

Except, the apple wasn't placed on top of her head when Cissie stood her against the target in her mom's backyard. No, the apple was stuck in Cassie's mouth like she was a pig in a barbecue on TV.

"Ok, now don't move." Cissie instructed, backing up to the other end of the yard, "Cause if you do, someone you love could wind up dead."

Cassie wasn't sure she appreciated the high-stakes scenario Cissie was setting up. She could do it though, she could trust Cissie in this, especially if it proved to the other girl that she belonged fighting in the war with them as Arrowette.

"Ok... if I do this right, I should be able to fire with a minimal amount of force so that the arrow will go through the Apple without continuing out the back of your throat." Cissie continued talking as she strung an arrow on her bow.

Cassie trusted Cissie, she was her best friend. She trusted her with her life, of course she did! She'd already trusted Cissie with her life on countless occasions during missions. There were not words to describe how much she trusted Cissie. She could trust her to do this, of course she could, easy as pie.

Cissie was grinning at her. It wasn't a kind grin.

"Ready, aim..." Cissie trailed off, something sharp glinting in her eyes, "Fire."

Cassie dodged.

The arrow thunked into the target where her head had been, and Cassie was on the ground with the apple still in her mouth. Cissie stalked over, a triumphant grin curling her lips as Cassie sucked in desperate gasps for air.

"Bingo!" Cissie announced, now smug too, "Landed about half an inch above where the top of your head was."

A fake out. Cassie would laugh if she wasn't so breathless.

"I- I knew you weren't aiming at my face." Cassie tried to convince herself, tried to convince Cissie.

Not that Cissie believed it for even a second, "Oh really? Then why'd you bail?" She demanded, yanking the arrow out of the target, "Don't answer that, I'll tell you. It's because, on some level, you were afraid that I was going to make a mistake. And you didn't want to be there if it happened. Same thing that I worry about."

Except, no, that wasn't- that wasn't what she'd been worried about, right? She loved Cissie, she trusted her with everything! It was just... the apple in her mouth had been scary, especially when not even Cissie seemed sure she could pull the trick off. Nevermind the fact that Cissie had never intended to actually try it to begin with. Technically, it was a trick.

"That's not fair." Cassie tried to argue.

"Maybe not." Cissie agreed as she polished the arrowhead, "But it's still true, no matter how highly you think of me... you allow for the minuscule likely-hood of error. Me? I can't allow for it. I won't. In that tiny gray area? That's where Arrowette lives. But that's all, I won't let her out of that bottle."

That was harsh, and yes, their work was often very harsh, but that viewpoint felt too harsh to Cassie. No one, not even Wonder Woman herself, could be perfect all the time. It wasn't a fair standard, even in their line of work. Besides, depriving herself of getting to be a hero for the sake of perfection had to be hurting Cissie. Cassie couldn't even imagine having to exist right now without being Wonder Girl, so Cisise had to be struggling with it.

"But you're a heroine Cissie! You can't tell me you're not-" she tried to point out how Cissie must miss it, but was cut off.

"I spent my whole life letting my mother define me, Cassie!" Cissie gestured forcefully, her eyes begging for an understanding that Cassie wasn't sure she was equipped to give, what Cissie had given up and continued to give up was unimaginable to her, "I won't let anyone do that, ever again. Not even my best friend!"

That wasn't fair, that wasn't fair at all! Cassie was nothing like what Cissie's mom had been like back then! Cissie's mom had wanted to live vicariously through Cissie and had pushed her through fame and heroism without any consideration for Cissie's well-being or her own desires. Had treated her like a doll that she put through constant militaristic training and not like her child.

Cassie just missed her best friend. She was going to war tonight, and she just really fucking wanted her best friend at her side because then maybe it wouldn't feel so fucking terrifying and lonely.

Cissie looked back at her, something hesitant in her gaze and a tenseness to her shoulders that didn't bode well, "That... is still you, isn't it?" She asked.

The breath caught in her lungs. That... that hadn't ever been in question, not for Cassie at least. The idea of her and Cissie not being best friends anymore was more terrifying than the war itself. She hated the idea of her friend ever doubting that.

"For as long as you want me to be!" She asserted, trying to put any crazy ideas to bed immediately as she grabbed Cissie by the upper arms and made determined eye contact with her, "I guess it was stupid, trying to find a positive in this whole whacked invasion thing by thinking 'at least Cissie might be ready to draw a bowstring alongside me.'"

Cissie let out a relieved breath along with a little laugh, "You're right, it was pretty stupid."

That stung a bit. After all, Cassie certainly had not yet given up hope that Cissie would return to the team at some point, preferably sooner than later.

"Hey," she huffed, crossing her arms on her chest, "It wasn't that stupid."

Cissie scoffed, "Well, no, it wasn't 'Gee, I wish Cissie were here playing Baseball to save an alien world with us' stupid... not on that level of stupidity..."

"Are you ever going to let that go?" Cassie snapped, because seriously when was Cissie going to stop holding that against her?!

It wasn't a goddamn crime to miss your best friend and to want them back by your side! So why was Cissie so against being wanted back on Young Justice? They were her friends, of course they wanted her back, and Cassie was her best friend, so of course it was always at least a little bit miserable without her, of course Cassie wanted her back with the team, with her!

Plus, despite the bittersweet reason she'd become Arrowette, Cissie had been amazing at it, and Cassie knew that she'd loved helping others! One single momentary mistake in the heat of a personal battle, one that Kon had stepped in and stopped from even happening, should not have taken that all away! So, no, Cassie just really didn't get why Cissie insisted she wasn't coming back.

"Why? You never let Arrowette go! Whenever we get together, I could clock with an egg timer how long it takes you to start bugging me about it!" Cissie snapped back, hand on her hip, and clearly letting out what was something she'd had bottled up for a while, " You'll never accept me as normal!"

That wasn't even fair! Cissie wasn't normal! Not a single one of them was, or could even pretend to be. Why was Cissie so insistent on trying to be someone she wasn't when who she already was, who she'd already been, was so amazing! Cassie loved Cissie with everything she had and she just couldn't accept that Cissie felt like she needed to change, because she didn't!

"That's because you'll never be normal." Cassie pointed out, because she wasn't just going to stand here and let her best friend outright delude herself, "And if you think otherwise, then you're kidding yourself!"

Cissie scoffed, anger clear in every one of her movements, " I thought you could accept my decision! Maybe I was kidding myself about that too!"

"If 'accepting' it means that I'm happy you're hiding down here when you could be helping to defend earth up there, then yeah, maybe you were kidding yourself." Cassie bit out, frankly a little bit disgusted by Cissie right now.

How could she? How dare she?! Cissie could help! She had the tools and the ability and the team to do it with, and yet she wasn't. The world was at war, countless innocent people were going to die, had already died, and here Cissie was, content to do absolutely nothing about it. Cassie was beginning to think that she didn't know her best friend at all, or who she was trying to become at least. The girl she'd met nearly a year ago, the one who'd been brave enough and had enough conviction to chew out Batman himself would've spat in this Cissie's face. Cassie hated that what her friend was saying made her want to spit in her face too.

Instead of doing that, she left. Turned and flew up into the clouds where Robin was waiting for her in the Supercycle, calling out over her shoulder, "Have a nice rest of your life... for however long the human race might have."

She tried her best to calm down as much as she could in the very short flight up to the Supercycle before touching down in the seating area in the front of the cycle. Robin was waiting in the driver's seat. She wished suddenly that her trip to try and get Cissie had gone as easily as her pickup of Robin from Gotham that morning had went. The only issue had been getting the Supercycle to let her drive to Gotham, but once she'd told the cycle that they were going to go pick up Robin things went smoothly. Robin had been waiting on a random rooftop, always a different one, but it hadn't been hard to find him since the cycle honed in on him and brought them right to the rooftop he'd been waiting on.

They'd known there was a chance Cissie wouldn't agree, but they'd both wanted to stop on their way back to the hotel and try anyway. Cassie just wished it had gone differently. Going headfirst into a war that there was a good chance she wouldn't come back out of, the last thing she'd wanted to go into it with was a fresh break-up with her best friend.

Oh god, was that what she'd done? Had she broken up with Cissie? Were they over now? Even if they both survived was their friendship still over? She's been so angry and so sure only a minute ago, but now all she wanted to do was cry.

"So, is she coming?" Robin asked, still hovering over Cissie's mom's house instead of taking off towards the hotel.

"No."

"Yeah, well... I kinda knew she wouldn't want-" he started before she cut him off, becuase honestly fuck him for trying to pull an 'I told you so' when he'd hoped too, she knew he had.

"Well happy day for what you kinda knew!" She snarled, Robin was shocked, she could tell even through the mask.

The anger left as quickly as it had reappeared. God, what was she doing? How many friends did she need to push away before she went straight into a war. Hadn't she lost enough already? First her friends at school who'd been killed, then Cissie, and now Robin?

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." The instant regret bubbling out of her throat as she sat back down hard and buried her face in her hands.

"It's ok." Robin said, clearly trying to be comforting even as he was completely lost the way boys always were when anyone showed any amount of emotions.

"I'm realllllyyyyyy sorry!" She groaned, letting out a weary sigh.

"It's realllllyyyyy okay." Robin replied, giving her a quick and awkward pat on the shoulder before immediately retracting his hand.

She turned to face him again, hoping he had the answers that she felt like she needed right now, becuase it was Robin and he always had answers or at least a way to find them, "Why can't people be what we want them to be? And why do we feel guilty when we want them to be those things?"

Robin sighed, and Cassie knew before he even said anything that he was just as lost as she was when it came to this, "Cassie... There are some things even I don't know." He cracked the smallest of smiles, "Which is pretty amazing considering I was trained by, you know..."

Cassie sighed, "The world's greatest detective?" she knew he was trying to cheer her up with the familiar refrain that they all teased him for, but it just wasn't working today.

"Yeah." he agreed.

She sighed, leaning over the edge of the Supercycle to stare at the distant shapes on the ground as they sped by, "I hadn't hear that." She tried to play along weakly.

They rode in silence all the way back to the hotel.

The others, with the exception of Lobo, were waiting in the living room area. It was a relief to see that Bart had seemingly been able to pick up Anita successfully, and that Kon was awake even if he didn't seem too well rested with huge bags under his eyes and something just a little bit haunted in the tension in his shoulders.

She'd seen him passed out on the couch this morning before she'd taken the Supercycle to pick up Robin. She'd almost woken him, assuming he'd want to take the trip with her to get Robin. Once she'd gotten a bit closer though she saw the deep bags under his eyes that were dark enough to be bruises and what seemed to be some light burns on his arms and the side of his neck, with presumably more under his clothes. It had made her wonder if he'd just fallen asleep on the couch or if he'd passed out there. Either way, he was breathing steadily, and the light burns seemed to be all he had in the way of physical injuries so she figured he needed sleep more than her waking him up to worry about him.

She knew he'd been dealing with the whole baby Guardian clone thing last time she'd seen him. He'd disappeared pretty soon after that and no one had seen or heard from him since. It was good to see that that whole mess had been resolved one way or another and that he was able to be here to ship out with them. As much as he definitely deserved the rest he so clearly needed, no one was avoiding this war so she felt better about him being here with them where they could face it together and watch each other's backs.

Red Tornado was also in the living room, clearly waiting to talk to all of them, likely with their marching orders, so she and Robin headed in quietly and sat down with the others.

"It is good to see you all again." Red Tornado began, about as warm as he could be, "I appreciate that you have all managed not to get yourself killed in my absence." Harsh, but fair, "Robin, Secret... no further incidents?"

Cassie had no clue what that was about, neither did Kon, Anita, or Bart. Robin and Secret clearly knew exactly what was being asked. She'd have to get the story from one of them later.

"Everything's fine. Alright." Secret bit out, arms crossed.

Ok, maybe Cassie wouldn't be asking her later after all. Kon did not seem to read the room like she had though.

"He keeps mentioning that." Kon pointed out, jabbing a thumb towards Red Tornado and turning to Secret, "Did something happen with-"

"No! Nothing happened!" Secret cut him off sharply.

Kon blinked, "Ummmmm, ok... gotcha."

Red Tornado moved on smoothly, turning to where Anita was next to Bart on the loveseat, "And I see we have an addition to the team. Was she subjected to a rigorous background check, an exacting series of standardized tests designed to measure her powers, and a sequence of personality interviews to determine mental fitness?"

Were they supposed to be doing that with new members? They definitely hadn't when she and Cissie had joined. She doubted the three boys had put themselves through any form of evaluation outside of any possible dick measuring contests either. Did the JLA do that? The Titans?

"Nah, we just let her in." Bart answered for all of them, clearly not seeing anything possibly wrong with answering so blatantly.

"Oh good, I was worried things had changed." Red Tornado sighed and if he wasn't an android she would swear he rolled his eyes before moving smoothly on and turning towards her and Robin, "I further understand that you've added a pint-sized homicidal maniac to the roster. True?"

That would answer the question of whether or not he'd heard about Lobo.

"Uh, that would be li'l Lobo, and, uh... he's not exactly a member." She began to explain, very bravely not shrinking under his unimpressed gaze, "He just... well he kind of just showed up during one outing, and he keeps coming back for no discernible reason."

That wasn't entirely true. She was pretty sure that there were two reasons Lobo kept coming back. The first was that Young Justice was a guarantee for chaos and violence which was what Lobo thrived on, even if he didn't really mesh with their no killing policy. The second was that he totally had the hots for Anita.

"He hasn't been around for a little while, and, frankly, I think we've heard the last of him." Robin tried to assure Red Tornado.

Naturally that would be the exact moment Lobo came crashing in through the ceiling and into the pool table in the center of the room, mid fight with some alien.

Things got a little chaotic after that, as things tended to do when Young Justice gathered, and especially when Lobo was around. Eventually they calmed enough for Red Tornado to continue his briefing or mission assignment or whatever.

He started by explaining the war and its highlights, which Cassie already knew about. Imperiex was attacking, the previous earthly conflict in Pokolistan that everyone had been worrying about had cooled down in the face of a bigger threat, for now at least, Apokolips had also shown up to their neck of space for no clear reason, though it was likely just to cause problems as a planet of evil gods would likely want to do. She'd already known all this, she was pretty sure they'd all already known this.

Then Red Tornado went on to explain how this wasn't a JLA operation, but instead that it was a worldwide political one. Apparently that distinction changed things in one important way, the president was in charge of the allocation of troops, including them. Apparently the President was a little squeamish about sending minors into a war.

It was stupid. And frankly, the president would have to get the fuck over his squeamishness, seeing as it would do no good. Even if they were told to stay home they couldn't be protected. The whole world was at war, nowhere was safe, and there was no shielding or protecting minors from it. Her dead friends and classmates were proof enough of that. Young Justice might be minors, but they were trained, they were good fighters, and they were incredibly effective as a team. They were needed out there, and if Red Tornado told them they were benched then there wasn't a shadow of a doubt in her mind that they'd all be defying those orders together.

"What're you sayin' Reddy? We're just supposed to sit this one out?" Kon demanded, it was what they were all thinking, but Cassie was pretty sure he was on edge enough to do something stupid like pick a fight with Red Tornado about it now instead of waiting for him to leave so they could all just ship themselves out.

"Not at all." Red Tornado said, which was admittedly not where she'd thought he was leading up to, "You have been selected to be attached to the PDU. The paradocs unit."

They were all quiet for a second, sharing a moment of confusion before they all burst out in unison, "The what?!"

"Our brethren... meta-humans and paranormal... are going to war. There will be injuries, causalities, oftentimes on the front lines." Red Tornado explained, voice as serious as ever, "President Luther has created the Paradocs. They're a sort of super medical unit, if you will, with special facilities geared towards aiding fallen paranormal warriors with special needs. Your job will be to go into hotspots where men are down, retrieve them, and bring them back to the main Paradocs unit where they can be treated."

"You gotta be kidding me!" Kon burst out, temper lit with a match, and his clearly wasn't the only one.

"We're being sidelined?!" Bart exclaimed, "Like we aren't good enough?!"

"I wouldn't say sidelined," Cassie pitched in, also not particularly happy with the assignment, "But it seems a waste." They could do so much more than transport injured troops.

"All of you just calm d-" Robin started, but was cut off by Kon whipping to face him and yell.

"Why should we calm down! Why aren't you mad as hell?!" He gestured aggressively, and Kon hadn't acted that angry with Robin in a long time, mission context or otherwise, it was enough to kill her anger and make her concerned about whatever this new conflict was, "We should be fighting alongside the top guns! Instead we're being told to sit at the kid's table."

Cassie was trying to figure out what to say to reign the situation back in when Secret joined the fray, practically growling at Kon, "How dare you! How dare you!"

That snapped Kon right out of it for a moment, and all he seemed able to say was, "Huh?" Cassie couldn't think of a time Secret had ever snapped at any of them, the boys especially, she'd always seemed to hold them in such high regards thanks to them having freed her.

"People are asking for our help! And you, Superboy, don't like the way we're being asked, or what we're being asked to do?!" She floated near his head with her arms crossed and a heavy glare in her gaze, "Did you ever think that downed heroes have parents who want them back alive? Who don't want their sons or daughters to lie dying on the field of battle because you can't be bothered to go get them?!"

"What, you're saying I'm cold and heartless and can't relate because I don't have parents, right? And never did!" Kon scoffed, anger returning easily enough.

That felt like quite a jump though, "Kon, I'm sure that's not what she meant." Cassie tried to assure him.

"No, that's exactly what I meant." Secret stated.

"Oh." Nevermind then, Cassie didn't have a response for that.

Thankfully,  she didn't have to say anything to try and calm everyone back down, because that was when Traya walked in, clearly having just gotten out of the pool.

And Traya, despite being a little kid, was a beautiful little genius, who played right into Superboy's soft spot by babbling about how worried she was about her daddy going to war and how she was scared he'd get hurt and no one would be able to help save him. Her fears were likely real, and certainly valid, but the expression of them here and now was definitely intentional. Traya was smart enough to skip enough grades to be a sophomore when she should be in third grade, plus Cassie knew her since she was Cissie's roomate at school. She knew that the little girl was wrapping Kon right around her little finger, it was almost impressive to watch. She even got a hug out of it.

Bart of course immediately began teasing Kon as soon as Traya was skipping back out of the room, but Kon didn't try to argue against their orders again.

After a little bit more of their patented Young Justice chaos that Red Tornado was never able to contain, they were off in Bart's spaceship to pick up their assigned field medic from the Paradocs' home base of operations. The ride there was pretty lively for the most part, though she couldn't help but notice Kon was barely participating.

Robin noticed it too, and when she overheard him talking to Kon a bit later she heard him claim to just be taking the war seriously. Which, yeah, they all were. Something else was clearly up though. She couldn't help but think about the electrical burns she'd seen on his skin this morning, the ones that were covered by his suit now.

The trip to the Paradocs HQ was pretty short in their spaceship, which would probably be a good thing if they were going to be rushing the injured around to get treatment. Time was of the essence in those sorts of situations.

The head of the Paradocs met them at the entrance and began walking them into the building in a clearly hurried pace, talking over her shoulder the whole time about how efficient and skilled their assigned field medic was. Cassie was a little excited to meet whoever this person was. Maybe once this was all over they could bring this person on as the Young Justice medic. They certainly got injured enough to justify it, and it'd be nice to not have to rely on themselves or each other for it anymore.

They were led into a room that had an observation window looking out into space with a great view of the mood. Standing by the window, looking out into the void, was a figure in head to toe red cloaks with a packed med bag at their feet. Even though the figure was turned away from them, Cassie could swear there was something familiar about their silhouette.

She didn't have to wonder for long about that though, because a moment later the figure turned and it was none other than Cissie.

Cassie sucked in a sharp breath. How? What? This wasn't... why?

Cissie ignored her, instead focusing on the rest of the team, "So, are we ready to get to work?"

The rest of the team cheered, dragging her along back to the spaceship with grins. They were all happy Cissie would be accompanying them, even though it wasn't as Arrowette. Cassie was happy too, of course she was, this was what she'd wanted.

She just... didn't get it. Joining up with the Paradocs wasn't a last minute decision. Even during a war, they'd still need more time to have accepted Cissie and made sure she had all the necessary training, to get her uniformed and supplied than just that afternoon. Meaning that, when Cassie had talked to her that morning, Cissie had already known she would be joining them as a field medic. So why hadn't she just told Cassie that she'd be joining them when they'd talked?

As it turned out, Cassie didn't end up with a lot of time to dwell on it. In fact, dwelling on questions like that ended up feeling pretty fucking stupid.

Things got bad. Things got really fucking bad.

She'd understood conceptually what going to war meant. She'd sat in a classroom and learned about the world wars and loads of other wars too. She'd seen war movies on TV. More than that, she was no stranger to violence, she'd been a superhero for long enough to see some really awful things, to have a familiarity with death and violence that most teenagers weren't supposed to have. She understood senseless and widespread violence too, just a little while ago she'd been at school when her friends and classmates had been slaughtered.

Nothing, not any of that or anything else, could have possibly prepared her for the reality of war.

The kicker was, they weren't even fighting on the front lines. Sure they were often on the front lines, and even sometimes behind enemy lines, but they weren't fighting there, or at least, only doing the bare minimum of fighting to get in and out. All they were doing was going there, picking up whatever unfortunate soul had survived in terrible shape, and transporting them back to the Paradocs HQ while Cissie did her best to keep them alive for the trip.

She didn't always succeed. They, as a team, didn't always succeed. There were plenty of people that they arrived too late to save. If she added up every death she'd even peripherally encountered in her life, even just the ones she'd heard mentioned, it wouldn't add up to the amount of death she saw in even just the last hour.

It was horrifying in a way there weren't words for. In a way that she knew, deep down in her soul, she would always carry with her. She was forever and irrevocably changed from this, and so were the others. It was hard to believe the world could even possibly be fixed after this, even if they did win.

She wanted her mom.

She wanted Diana, except Diana was back at the Paradocs HQ, covered in bandages and breathing through a respirator that covered most of her face. She'd looked like something out of a sci-fi horror scene, and Cassie hadn't been able to look at her for more than a second or two without wanting to cry or vomit or both.

Kon had wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her out, something deeply haunted in his expression as well. There was something deeply haunted in all of them now.

Time blurred, and she wasn't sure how long they'd been going for. They'd had to refuel a couple times, so definitely a while. Everything just stretched on, and there was no end in sight for the war, so there was no point in any of them even trying to consider the passage of time in any of this. They weren't going to abandon the war front, so it didn't matter how long they spent in the thick of it.

Every so often their mission coordinator at HQ made them all shower and eat when they stopped to refuel before they'd hand out another mission. They were all beyond exhausted, though sleep wasn't always something that could be accomplished. Sometimes a few of them would slip off to the small bunk room to take short naps while they were traveling to pick up a new target or targets. They hadn't needed more than that so far, though she was pretty sure that that wasn't strictly true from a physiological standpoint, no one had passed out yet so it was fine.

They tried to keep things normal when they could. Clinging to both each other and any sense of normalcy they could manage.

It was  after a refuel and scrub-off stop that they got their next mission. They were being sent after some suicide squad members that'd fallen behind enemy lines. She wasn't exactly psyched about rescuing villains, but they were people and they were fighting on the same side.

The trip was a longer one, and they were all feeling a bit better after the refuel stop, so the main cabin of the spaceship was a bit more lively. Kon and Robin were over by the control panel keeping them on course. Bart and Lobo were lounging near their air-defenses control panel and debating whether or not 'suicide squad' and 'Young Justice' were stupid titles.

Meanwhile, her, Secret, Anita, and Cissie were lounging on the couches chatting. Anita was braiding Cissie's hair out of the way now that it'd dried enough after the recent shower to be put back up. Cassie was thankful that her hair was short, the last thing she wanted to be worrying about in a war was her hair.

"Aw, c'mon Ciss, I find it kinda hard to believe that you don't miss the life even a little." Cassie wheedled, pulling a knee to her chest and propping her chin on it.

Cissie rolled her eyes, "I'm case you haven't noticed, I've got a very busy life without Arrowette." She pointed out, clearly annoyed, "I've got a gold medal, a fan club, the occasional bizarre adventure with my good friends, and peace of mind. Arrowette was my mom... even when she was me. I'm happier being myself."

Anita tied off the braid then and Cissie pulled it over her shoulder to admire the tight weave of her hair, "Whoa, nice braid Anita. I could learn to stop resenting you. Y'know I could really use a pedicure..."

Anita flicked her ear, "Don't push it."

Cassie was glad to see them getting along well enough now to joke about the time when they hadn't. It was good to see them happy, even in the midst of a war. It was a good sign for Cissie coming back to the team that she was friends now with the newer members.

"Ok, fine, so no 'Arrowette'," Cassie nodded to herself, she could understand Cissie wanting a different title than the one her mom had forced on her, "soooooo, you could be... Arrowhead!"

Cissie sighed, "Cass, you are so not getting it."

Ok, she could do better, "Or... or quiver! Or fletchling! Or... uh, what d'you call the middle part of the bow where it curves?"

"The bow belly?" Cissie clarified, "The dip?"

Ok, so apparently there were multiple names for it, whatever, there was a clear winner, "Bow belly isn't bad! Especially with your cheerleader style outfit, I don't think Dip is any good for you though."

"No, but it'd fit you pretty well." Cissie snarked, it was clearly meant as an insult despite the sickly sweet tone.

Anita, who had been keeping out of it until now, piped up, looking over at Secret, "Suzie, are you okay?"

Cassie glanced over at where Secret seemed to be staring at nothing, a distant look in her eyes. When had she drifted so far away on the couch? Cassie could swear she'd been sitting right by them a minute ago.

"Death." Was all Secret said in reply, voice sounding spooky enough to cover her arms in goosebumps.

Suddenly the whole ship went silent as they all paid total attention to Secret.

"What?" Cissie asked, after a moment of stunned silence.

"Death is coming." Secret said, in that same disembodied spooky voice, "And he's on skis."

It was silent for another moment, all of them sufficiently shocked and creeped out, eventually Cissie muttered, "Well there's a conversation stopper." And everyone broke out of it.

Secret came out of her trance and pointed out the window. All of them rushed over to peer out, and sure enough there was a figure on skis moving through space with another figure slumped over their shoulder.

Lobo was yelling about how they had incoming on the monitors, and then about how he 'knew that bastich!' And very much sounded like he was going to try to fight the guy. Cassie didn't really like the idea of trying to win that fight, something about the figure was deeply unsettling even from a distance.

Except, it wasn't at a distance anymore. The figure was getting pretty close and heading straight for them with no indication that they'd be swerving to avoid direct contact.

"Contact in three... two.. one!" Lobo growled.

He was right, the figure didn't swerve, but he was also wrong because the figure didn't make contact either. He went through the ship. Dragging the unconscious or dead figure behind him.

"That's it! That's the bastich!" Lobo was yelling, "The Black Racer!"

"Holy... Superboy, he's got-" Robin yelled, recognizing the figure being dragged at the same time the rest of them did.

"Steel! I got him!" Superboy yelled, leaping in the way of the figure on skis barreling towards him, Cassie jumped forward to get in the way too, "Don't worry, he's not getting past..."

Both figures passed directly through them.

"Us." Superboy finished lamely.

"He can pass through things like the Supercycle!" Cassie exclaimed, more shocked than she probably should be since the guy had already passed through their ship's hull.

Secret blew herself up into a cloud of menacing smoke, blocking where he was going to exit the back of the ship, "Stop where you are! I don't want to have to hurt you!" She threatened, intangible versus intangible.

Finally, the guy on skis reacted to something they did, except it didn't do them any good since he just swerved to the right and went out the side of the ship instead of the back.

"Stop! I said-" Secret tried, but he was already gone, "Oh nuts."

"Impulse, change course! We gotta go after him!" Superboy ordered immediately, marching over to where he and Lobo had taken over the ship's controls.

"We can't! There are people down on the moon who need our help." Robin interjected, following Kon over, "That was our assignment, keep on course, Impulse!"

Impulse looked unsure at the helm.

Kon whipped around to face Robin, "You saw it yourself Rob! That's was Steel, he wears the 'S'! He's one of the good guys!" Kon yelled, anger coating his words, but there was a little bit of desperation there too, "I'll take him over a hundred villains any day of the week!"

"This isn't about good guys and bad guys Kon!" Robin yelled back, yikes, Cassie hadn't seen them argue like this since she'd first joined the team, "It's about best use of resources, and duty, and obligation t-"

"We have an obligation to our own!" Kon roared, cutting Robin off.

That would be when Lobo chimed in, "You guys can argue all you want. I've got a score to settle with the Racer! He's snatched kills away from me half a dozen times. No one does that to the Top Teen!" He announced before throwing the thrusters into high gear in pursuit of the ski guy.

"Lobo no!" Robin exclaimed, diving for the control stick, "Impulse, override the-"

That was when Kon grabbed and pinned Robin's arms behind him and yanked him away from the controls. Cassie nearly choked in shock at the move.

"Kon! What are you doing!" Robin exclaimed, anger and confusion and betrayal coloring the words.

"The right thing. Whether you agree with me or not!" Kon stated determinedly, "Stay after the Black Racer Lobo, no matter where it takes us."

It only took a few moments for Robin to break free from the hold. Secret forming a cloud around Kon so that he could make a break for the controls.

"Lobo, do what Robin said!" Secret cried out.

Lobo just laughed, "Little late for that!" He announced just in time for Robin to skid to a stop behind him.

"What do you mean?!" Robin demanded.

"Remember that syrupy 'New Genesis' place we went to, with all those happy god types? Well, that's its opposite number dead ahead."

Cassie whipped her head to look out the window, her breath catching in her chest. She was staring at Apokolips, getting closer and closer every second, they were already in its gravity, she could feel the tell-tale tug of it. They were going too fast directly towards it to pull-out. Not that that even mattered, because a second later lasers were shooting out of nowhere and hitting their thrusters.

The ship spiraled fast, heading straight for the surface of the planet in a barely half controlled tailspin thanks to Lobo's flying.

She barely had enough time to brace before they crashed.

............................................

"Stop it! Hera's name stop it! Both of you! Superboy! Robin! This is insane! You're friends!" Tim heard Cassie yell distantly, not that it mattered much.

He was rolling around trading punches with Superboy on the hard rock that made up the ground on Apokolips. God, he couldn't believe it! They were on fucking Apokolips! A planet that made literal hell sound like a spa vacation! All because Kon wanted to run off on some suicide mission against all their orders. The ship was a wreck behind them too, which meant that Kon not listening to him and overriding his authority was likely going to get them all killed here.

So fuck Cassie telling them not to fight right now, Robin had every reason to be pissed at Kon.

"A friend wouldn't have crossed us up!" He grit out, pushing back against the arm Superboy had pressed to his throat.

"I did what I thought was right!" Kon spat out, "And if I weren't your friend I'd be using my tactile telekinesis right now and breaking you in half!"

Fuck him for that.

"You keep right on believing that!" He shot back, twisting and throwing Kon off of him so his face smashed right into the rock.

That was apparently Kon's snapping point because when he turned back and dove for Robin again his fists were glowing blue, "Ok, fine! We'll see how many milliseconds you last when I'm not holding back!"

Tim grit his teeth, getting into a solid fighting stance, and was about to say something witty about how Superboy could bring it on when the rest of the team decided to get in between them and pull them apart.

"We are not going to see any such thing!" Cassie yelled, shoving Kon backwards.

At the same time, Secret had encased him in a smoky barrier, now lecturing him, "Robin, be sensible. He is a lot stronger, and besides, it's this... this place!  Apokolips! It's making you-"

"We wouldn't be in this place if not for him!" He yelled, cutting her off in frustration, "Last time he pulled stuff like this he'd been replaced with Match! What's his excuse this time?! And I could handle Kon just fine, Secret! I don't need you and Wonder Girl to keep me safe!"

"Yeah, I'll bet!" Kon yelled, still being shoved back by Cassie, "Batman give you some tips for handling us, huh?"

"Kon!" Cassie cut in sharply, "Now is not the ti-"

Oh, that was definitely something.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He demanded, glaring at both of them now.

"You gonna make me spell it out for you?" Kon marched up to him now that Cassie had let him go, Secret let down the barrier around him too.

Given that Tim had no idea what they were talking about, "I think you're going to have to, yes."

"Kon, please, not here. Not now." Cassie pleaded, and Tim felt a sharp pang of betrayal from her about whatever she'd known and hadn't told him.

"Hey, he wanted to hear it! He's gonna hear it." Kon sneered before jabbing a finger at him, "So... do you have files on us? Or did you think we weren't going to hear about it? About how Batman had files on everyone in the JLA- his friends his teammates- on all their weaknesses and how to beat them in case one of them went rogue!"

Oh, so that was what this was about? Fucking Bruce's paranoia? It wasn't even about anything Tim himself had actually done?! It felt like a slap in the face that his team, or at least Kon and likely Cassie, had held that against him, or had even been worried about it. Didn't they trust him?

"Well?! You're his protege!" Kon demanded, "You take the lead from him in everything! Have you figured out ways to take down each of us?! Are you as paranoid as he is?!"

Tim heard the real question there, did he have files on them? It felt like a betrayal, them thinking he had done that.

"Batman has his way of doing things, I have mine." Was what he said in explanation.

"And for the most part they're the same." Kon argued immediately, tone disbelieving as he continued, "Or are you saying this is the one place they're different?"

He looked around at their group, and he saw it in all of their expressions. They'd already decided what they believed. It made him feel like there was a weight on his chest, like maybe this all was inevitable, where this path had always led to. He'd been their friend and teammate and leader this whole time, he'd done his best, he'd loved them, been vulnerable with them, especially with Kon, and it hadn't been enough. Maybe, it was never going to be enough.

His parent's looming absence made it impossible for him to find a home in his own house, Jason's loss loomed over Wayne manor and the batcave and made it impossible to find one there, and Batman and Tim's own issues had now made it so he couldn't find one here either. It was an awful realization to have when he'd just crash landed on a planet he was almost definitely going to die an awful death on shortly.

"Do you care what I say? Do any of you care? Or are you all wondering the same thing?" He asked, a mix of bone deep exhaustion and the stinging anger from betrayal clear in his voice, what point was there masking it now? "Or am I not entitled to know that?"

Impulse, as always, was the fastest to pipe up, "Well, it's uh, it's natural to be worried, isn't it Robin? I mean, just a little... you understand. We know how you feel about Batman... and... well..."

Cissie picked up where he'd trailed off nervously, "It... doesn't directly affect me, since I'm not Arrowette anymore, but... ok, I admit, people asked my opinion and I said I could understand the concern..."

He turned to Cassie once Cissie had trailed off too, "And you, Cassie? Have you been wondering about it? About me?"

He didn't get it, because clearly she had. Except, how had she doubted him when she'd trusted him with so much before. When she had a concern about one of their teammates, usually Kon, she brought it to him. She'd basically been second in command, his right hand, this whole time. When had she started doubting him? Or had she just never fully trusted him?

"Well," she laughed awkwardly, "They uh, they do call me Wonder Girl, so, uh, naturally I'd be, um, wondering."

"Well, I trust Robin implicitly!" Secret asserted, he'd feel better about having her faith if not for the fact that it was definitely because of her crush and no other reason, "I don't care what any of you say."

He sighed, turning to Anita and Lobo, their newest members.

"Y'know, I gotta say... if a member of the JLA had gone crazy, or been taken over by outside forces, and don't say it could never happen because we all know that it could. If it had happened, everyone would have been thanking Batman for his foresight, not condemning him... and by extension, Robin." Anita pointed out.

It wasn't the glowing commendation she so clearly thought it was. It was an argument, the same one Bruce had used, a justification. This wasn't about what Batman had done though, not really, this was about trust, and no justification would fix a breach of trust so easily. That was why this was a losing battle for him before it even started. He'd already lost their trust, and the worst part was that he couldn't even pinpoint when it had happened.

"No one can take down the top teen anyway, so I don't care what some files say." Lobo announced, popping the collar on his sleeveless jacket, "But, if we're pickin' sides... Birdboy here don't back down from me when I get in his face. That says something."

Tim blinked, a little surprised, "Meaning... you respect me because of that?" He clarified.

"Nah, meaning you're dumb as a rock." Well, that was certainly something considering he was trained by the world's greatest detective and was just generally valued for his intelligence, "So you're probably not a threat."

He sighed, "Thanks." He muttered, not entirely sure where to go from here.

He stared at his team. They were split. So clearly divided, and over him. Most of those who said they were on his side didn't even think he hadn't created files detailing all of their weak points, they'd just said they weren't mad at him for doing it. He felt awful, looking at his teammates who didn't trust him. How was he meant to lead them like this? Christ, how was he meant to go on like this?

Especially with Kon leading the opposing charge. The fact that he had trusted Kon so much, more than he had literally anyone else in the world, and it hadn't been enough. What had done it? Was he not supposed to have called Kon for the pollen after all? He'd been acting strange at Guardian's funeral, not accepting Tim's offer for company and touch after the ceremony, and the pollen was the most recent time before that that he'd spent with Kon. It seemed unlikely based on everything he'd known before that, but it was the only thing he could think of from before Guardian's funeral.

Maybe it was this planet, like Secret had said, this planet feeding on anything negative and exacerbating it. Except, Kon had started this back on the ship while they were still in space. Actually he'd been acting off since they got their marching orders what felt like forever ago.

It stung that Bart, Cassie, and Cissie hadn't trusted him either, but that pain was a sting compared to the absolute gut punch that Kon's distrust felt like. He'd trusted Kon with everything he could, his face, his home, his nightmares, the pollen, his body. The concept of Kon not reciprocating that almost made Tim glad he was stuck on this hell planet since it almost certainly meant he'd be dying very soon so at least he wouldn't have to keep feeling like this.

He needed to say something, needed to address this somehow. He didn't want them to die still believing he would do something like that.

"People... you think you know how I feel about Batman, trust me, right now you don't." He could not possibly have been more pissed at Bruce than he was right now, it didn't even compare to how he'd felt immediately after he found out about Bruce betraying him to Steph, "No. I don't have files on you. Batman and I are different, believe it or not. I have friends, he has... associates. That's becoming more and more clear to me."

Sure, he'd always known he wasn't part of the family the way the last two Robins had been. The way B had been acting lately though... it wasn't just that. Whatever. They needed to move on and deal with the fact that they'd just crash landed on fucking Apokolips, and, for better or worse, he was still their leader.

"And that's all I have to say on the subject. Alright, look, we have two things to worry about." He crossed his arms, shifting into his giving orders mindset, "First, since we're here, we might as well try to find the person we came looking for. Cissie, did your tracker survive the crash?"

She pulled it out and checked it before giving him a sharp nod, "Yup, and his armor's got a Paradocs standard-issue tracker on board. Same as most of the other paras and metas are carrying. I've got him located North-Northwest about twenty miles from here."

"Ok, our second problem is the ship." He continued, pointing to the crater their crashed ship was in, "It's going to need repairs... and I suspect once we locate the patient, we're going to have to get out of here sooner rather than later. We can't do it in a crippled ship."

"I spotted what looked like a small ship-port when we were crash landing." Lobo said, and it disturbed Tim immensely how seriously he was taking everything ever since they'd crashed, it made him think they were more screwed than he could even comprehend, "Not far due south of here, we can either find a new vehicle there, or whatever parts we need to fix this thing here."

"Can you fix it?" Tim asked, because he hadn't been aware mechanics was a part of Lobo's skill-set.

Honestly he hadn't realized Lobo's skill-set was anything other than violence.

"I been around ever kind of space jalopy there is." Lobo boasted proudly, "Course I can."

"Ok. Superboy, Wonder Girl, Cissie, and Impulse, go find our man. Bring him back here. Secret, Empress, and I will try to find what we need so that Lobo can get the ship up and running." He said, trying to keep his breaths even, this was the worse possible time to show any amount of weakness, even if he was terrified that he was sending his friends to their deaths, "With any luck we'll have a means of getting this ship up and running by then. Just in case 'friends' are in pursuit."

He'd thought they were as good and reasonable of orders as he could have given out considering the circumstances. Kon had something to say about them anyway though.

"So the ones you think trust you, you keep, and the rest of us you send off?" He demanded, glaring in a way that both ticked Tim off and also broke something in him.

Fuck him. Fuck him so much. He hated Kon so much right now that it broke his heart and he didn't know what to fucking do with that. Not that there was even anything to do with it since they were stuck in literal hell with little chance of escape, but they had to try and this was their best chance of doing so.

"I'm sending two of our most powerful members for strength, our fastest member for recon, and Cissie for medical care. Do you have a problem with that?" He snapped, already knowing that the orders had never been what Kon had a problem with, no, he had a problem with Tim.

Kon didn't seem able to come up with any more arguments, instead Tim watched as he scratched the back of his neck and shrugged, "No, I-uh, I guess that makes sense."

"Oh good." Tim snarked, sarcasm dripping off of every word, and for some reason that seemed to be what actually broke through Kon's anger and misplaced self-righteousness.

"Look... Rob... if I spoke outta turn, I'm sor-"

"Save it." Tim cut him off, not wanting to fucking hear it right now, it wasn't even a matter of speaking out of turn, it was the fact that Kon didn't fucking trust him that hurt, "You said what you thought, don't start backtracking. Bottom line, you got us into this fix, Kon, now I'm trying to get us out. If you don't support my efforts to do so, that says more about you than it does me." With that he turned away, heading towards the steep downhill he and his team would have to take towards the port, "Keep your heads down and for god's sake be careful!"

He talked himself through not turning back and keeping his breathing even as he, Empress, and Secret took off. God, he was in so far over his head it was laughable.

The more time he spent on this planet the more true what Secret had been saying earlier seemed. The planet itself was inherently evil, and it radiated that evil. He could feel it with every step, clinging to his mind and pounding against that awful twisted thing in his chest that was full of wanting and that always got hurt. It made his anger thicken, until he could feel it sliding around in his throat and stomach like a burning syrup. He could choke on it.

The travel to the ship port, which shouldn't have taken more than twenty minutes, felt like a lifetime. The planet itself was just hazardous enough to threaten them with every step while not just outright making survival impossible. The air was thick with smoke and sulfur but still somehow breathable, the ground gave way to jets of lava if any of them stepped wrong. His skin burned the way it did when he had a sunburn, but there was no sun here. His body felt heavier too, like gravity was stronger here, even though he was pretty sure Apokolips was smaller than earth and that that should therefore be impossible.

They needed to get out of this hell soon, otherwise they never would. This place was not survivable for anyone, much less them.

Eventually they reached the sight of what appeared to be some sort of scrap yard for space vessels. It was quiet in an eery sort of way, not a soul in sight. Lobo listed off what they needed to find over the comm while Secret went into mist form to make sure the yard was clear of anyone else.

She said it was, and even though Tim had an awful feeling that they were walking into some sort of trap, he trusted her scan and gave the order for them to head in.

The first few steps into the yard were fine though, and he started to focus more on looking for any of the parts Lobo had listed. He even made a joking comment about how this was at least easier than dodging jets of lava.

God, Tim just had to open his stupid big mouth and say that. Talk about a jinx.

An entire army of alien creatures flooded out of the different nooks and crannies around the yard. Too many of them for him, Secret, and Anita to even have half a chance of fighting their way out. They had sharp gnashing teeth, claws, and armor. They were huge muscled creatures, vaguely humanoid but mostly animalistic.

It took less than a second for them to be entirely surrounded. That was when Tim screamed three words that he never thought would leave his mouth.

"LOBO HELP US!"

It was a desperate cry as the three of them were practically overrun immediately. It was bad, it was worse than bad. He fought, god, did he fight. They all did, though he got separated from the other two pretty quickly in the melee, but he could still hear them somewhere nearby.

A small part of him wished that Kon, Bart, and Cassie were here too, if only so they'd have some chance of survival. A much larger part of him was glad that they weren't, no one deserved to have to fight this battle. The largest part of him just wished he wasn't here.

There was blood in his mouth, choking him, he wasn't sure if it was his own or these creatures'. Probably both.

Then Secret blew herself up to be huge, slapping creatures out of the way, and for a moment he thought they might have a chance. Surely Secret's intangibility might be able to tip the scales in their favor.

Then they brought out a device, some sort of force field that wrapped around Secret and she was out of the battle. She was screaming, like she was in some immense amount of pain. The sound of it echoed all around them.

He'd heard people say 'war is hell' before, and he'd known that to be true just from the time he'd spent before now in one, but he was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be this literal. The creatures were a never ending tidal wave, like how he imagined real demons to be, for every ten they managed to take down, twenty more took their place. It shouldn't be possible, this shouldn't be happening, it was unlike anything he'd ever seen or trained and prepared for.

He couldn't help but think of Kon. His muscles were burning and he could barely breath anymore, and he was coated in blood that was at least partly his own, and his ears were echoing with Secret's screams and the screeches of these creatures. Yet, all he could think of was Kon, how furious he was with him for forcing them all away from their duty to follow his heart. With his single-mindedness of purpose. In the same breath he envied Kon, for his pureness of spirit.

Tim had lived his life in shades of gray and it was messy and complicated and exhausting. To Kon much of the world was still black and white, right and wrong. How was he not supposed to envy that? Not admire Kon for it too, even as it dragged them all off course and brought them here.

He's going to die. Tim knows it now without a shadow of a doubt. He will die here, on this field of battle, too far from home to even calculate, torn apart piece by piece by these creatures.

He's not afraid of it.

That's a lie, he's terrified.

He wishes he could see Kon one least time, wishes he could die in his arms, even if that's a selfish desire.

He lost his staff, it had been ripped away by one of the creatures, hard enough it nearly tore his arm off with it. The hands were grabbing him now, clawing his skin and pulling him a million different directions but mostly just down.

This was it. He wished he'd had the chance to talk with Kon one more time.

Then, funnily enough, he didn't die. Instead he was pinned to the ground and some sort of extra thick handcuffs were fastened around his wrists. He got pulled to his feet and shoved over towards where Empress was in similar chains.

That was when Lobo made his appearance.

"Prepare to get fragged, ya bastiches!!!" Lobo yelled as he launched himself into the yard, swinging a chain and hook over his head.

"Granny desires humans, not... whatever that is." One of the creatures near Tim spoke, he hadn't realized they could do that, "Dispose of it!"

Tim's breath caught in his chest as the army open fired on Lobo, most of the laser bullets seeming to make contact. Oh god, surely he hadn't ordered Lobo out here just to get him killed.

He knew that Lobo, when fully grown, was on Superman's level of strength. That he can laugh off just about anything, but he wasn't sure about teenage Lobo's capacity for taking punishments. That was when Tim came to the horrifying realization that Lobo didn't know what his limits were either.

The first volley of bullets didn't stop him, and he made it into the fray successfully. He was a man on a mission, tearing through the creatures with a ferocity that was disturbing. He was definitely killing them, not a doubt about it, Lobo and the surrounding area were all coated in blood and other organic matter thanks to the way he was tearing through them. Calling it a killing spree wouldn't even begin to describe what Tim was bearing witness to.

He may have been a proponent of the no killing rule, but right now he didn't care. Lobo was winning, and these creatures, like this entire planet, were evil. He'd wrestle with the guilt of being A-Ok with the slaughter happening right in front of him later, if ever.

Lobo was making good progress, until he wasn't. Until he started losing.

He kept fighting, and Tim was pretty sure he was trying to scream in defiance, Lobo had always been loud like that, but they must have hit his vocal cords at some point. All that was coming out now was a bare whisper. The creatures were shooting each other, slaughtering each other, just to get to Lobo, they didn't care, there was always more of them.

And Lobo- Lobo thrived on war and conflict. And they were eternal, there would always be a fight somewhere. So maybe this was always his fate. Lobo was one of theirs though, and they wouldn't let this be the end of him, not if they could help it.

Except they couldn't, help it, that is. Anita screamed his name, and Tim tried every bat trick in the books to get out of his restraints.

"Comin' fer ya, Anita! N fer all 'ese bastiches!" He just barely managed to hear Lobo get out as the teen stumbled punch drunk and coated in blood through the battlefield, "th-they're jus' a warm-up fer the main event! They're- they're... nothin' they're-"

Another volley of laser bullets went through him, and they could only watch as his back arched and he screamed, a broken and crackly thing formed by shredded vocal cords.

Once it was over, Lobo got back up, panting as he managed to make it onto his knees, "c'mon, these guys... nothing! Where's the- the- ahaha there he is! The main event, at last! At lassstt!"

Tim could only watch in horror as Lobo spread his arms wide, a grin splitting his cheeks as he stared up at the sky and laughed. He didn't even get off his knees as the guy in skis, the Black Racer, dipped below the clouds, heading straight for them.

As violent and bloody as the lead up had been, there wasn't even a fight. Lobo embraced his own death, with open arms. A bright flash of light that blinded them all, searing the final picture of Lobo on his knees into the backs of his eyelids forever.

The next thing he saw once his vision cleared was Lobo dead. Anita choked next to him, something between a sob and a strangled scream bursting from her mouth. It was the most horrifying thing he'd ever seen.

There was an explosion, the creatures talking about something that he couldn't pay attention to. There was blood in his mouth, was it Lobo's? He'd been splattered during Lobo's fight, so maybe. Did it matter? It felt like it did.

One of the creatures said something about war being no place for kids. He couldn't even process that enough to laugh at it.

With all that he'd seen in his life, he'd never thought of himself as innocent. How wrong he'd been. How naive. And how dead was that innocence that he hadn't even known he'd possessed now? As dead as Lobo.

It was his last hysterical thought before something slammed into the back of his head and everything went black.

——————————-

Tim woke up being dragged into some courtyard by the creatures. He managed to get his feet under him to look around while he was marched further into the courtyard. Anita and Secret were nowhere in sight, but Cassie was there, tied to a post in the center of the courtyard. Did that mean the other group had been captured too? It must.

There were tears pouring down Cassie's face, and she was clearly terrified, struggling against the restraints tying her to the post. That was when his brain came fully back online, and he realized the post was over a fire pit and there were flames licking at Cassie's sneakers.

"No let her go!" He screamed, trying to pull himself free from the creatures to get to her, "She hasn't done anything to you!"

"Robin? Robin!" Cassie cried out, face snapping up and seeing him for the first time, "please do something! You're the leader! You've got to- Robin the flames coming!" She screamed, fear ratcheting up higher than he'd known possible, "Do whatever they want! Say whatever they want! Just help me! I- I can't die, I have midterms! I crammed for them! It can't have all been a waste! It can't!"

He couldn't get free of the creatures, and they weren't demanding anything of him, weren't offering any way to stop this. They were laughing, or he thought they were, they seemed amused at his distress.

"Do something! Anything! Pl-" her words were cut off by screaming as the flames engulfed her.

The screaming cut off after a few moments and the smell of burning flesh clogged his throat enough to make him throw up all over his boots. No, no, nononononono not Cassie, oh god, not her not Cassie.

"No!" The scream tore out of his throat, a raw and destroyed thing, "Cassie!" He couldn't even recognize his own voice like this.

"It's all your fault! You should have saved her!" Another voice yelled at him, and this one he did recognize, would always recognize.

He whipped his head to the side, and sure enough, there was Kon being dragged into the courtyard, chains around each of his limbs and around his neck.

"You think we keep you around for your 'powers'? You're an athletic teenager! Big fucking deal! Your brain's the only thing worth a damn!" Kon was berating him, and he deserved all of it, "And you couldn't think of a thing to do to save her! You-"

One of the creatures yanked on the chain around Kon's neck, slamming him onto his back on the ground, "This one doesn't have anything else interesting to say! Time for him to go!"

"Hey, no! let go!" Kon yelled, and it was at that moment that Tim realized the chains weren't just meant to be restraints.

"One! Two! Two and a half!" One of the creatures teased as each of them took a different chain and got ready to run with them.

"No wait! I'll do anything you want! Anything! Just don't-" He begged.

"Three." The creature cried with obvious glee, then came the sound of Kon's limbs and head being ripped from his torso.

It was a sound Tim would never forget. The feeling of Kon's blood splattered all over him was something he'd never forget either. It was in his mouth, a taste he'd never forget. His mouth must have been open when it happened. In a sick and twisted way he was a bit grateful for that as he swallowed it down around his sobs, at least he could keep that piece of Kon with him.

There was some old woman standing over him, talking at him though he didn't really hear a word she said. He wasn't sure when, but the creatures had let him go. He was on the ground now, drawing in desperate gasps around his sobs.

He took a few more gasping breaths, slowly tilting his head up to meet the eyes of the woman standing over him.

He was going to kill her.

.............................................

Bart was dead.

Or at least a part of him was. Kon had given the order, Bart had followed it, and then he'd been killed right in front of them.

God, he'd been so sure that he was right. He'd been so angry too. Angry that Robin's leadership meant following orders, and duty, over doing the right thing, over helping a friend!

He'd been so sure of himself that he'd immediately taken leadership of their mission group when going to find Steel. Even though Cassie had been unofficial second in command of Young Justice for a while now.

It'd been great for a while too! Especially once they'd realized that Bart could split himself into two and they could send the split-off Bart ahead to do recon more safely. It was great! It was efficient, and it meant that they could follow a trail fast enough not to lose it.

The first time they did it, it went off without a hitch. Once they got to the large complex that Bart's split-off had led them to, they realized they didn't know where exactly in the complex Steel was. So, he told Bart to split-off again and check out the inside to find him while real Bart went to check on the others to see if they had the ship back up and running yet.

Bart had done it immediately, as fast as ever, before the girls could point out how much more dangerous it was to do that this time. Kon wished he'd thought of that, he really wished he'd thought of that.

He should have considered it. After all, who else other than him made it a priority to consider clones people too. Beings that could be hurt and should be treated as more than just canon fodder, beings that weren't expendable. And really, in hindsight, Bart's split-off was sort of a clone too. If he'd thought about it for even a moment he would have come to that conclusion, he wouldn't have made the decision he did. If only he'd had another moment to consider.

He didn't though, and then there was no more moments to think about anything really because they'd been spotted and now there were winged creatures attacking them. They spent the next however long running and fighting and hiding until suddenly the flying creatures all blew up simultaneously and he and the girls took the opportunity to seek out some modicum of safety in a sort of dugout structure. It reminded Kon distantly of the dugout they'd been in when they'd played baseball to save the universe.

God, what he wouldn't give for everything to be down to a baseball game right now. That memory felt so different to the reality he knew now that it didn't even feel real.

That was when the original Bart reappeared, "Hey guys, what's going on?"

"We- we were attacked by- by Parademons!" Cassie huffed, out of breath, "And then they just started to explode!"

Huh, Kon hadn't realized that these were parademons. They looked a bit different to how he'd pictured them back when Kay used to tell him stories about this place. He shook his head, trying to clear it, the last thing he needed to be thinking about right now was Knockout, even if that was near impossible since everything here reminded him of her. How could it not? This had been her home.

"Did you find Robin?" He asked Bart, refocusing himself on the mission.

Bart shook his head, chewing on his lip nervously, "I went back to the ship, but those guys weren't there. I was gonna come right back, but I remembered to do a better recon. I found them a ways away in this junkyard, but they'd already been captured by parademons themselves! We gotta get back there and-"

A giant explosion rocked the dugout they were in, cutting Bart off.

"Wait! Look! What's that?" Cissie exclaimed, pointing outside the dugout.

"It's my scout!" Bart answered, and Kon could see the split-off racing towards them while balls of fire rained down from the sky , "He's weaving through the fireballs! But it's too dangerous, there's too many of them! He should be vibrating through them!"

"Hey guys! You won't believe what I saw!" Bart's split-off was calling out to them.

"He'd distracted!" Kon said, not sure what there was he could do about it.

"Bart don't talk!" Cissie yelled at the same time Cassie yelled "Look out!"

Neither of them were louder than Bart's scream of "VIBRATE!"

Bart's split-off didn't seem to hear any of them though as he kept dodging and calling out to them, "We gotta get back and tell somebody! We gotta tell Su-"

A fireball made sure that they never found out who Bart's split-off wanted them to tell, or what he wanted them to tell someone about.

It was.... It was horrifying beyond words. Kon knew he'd never ever forget it, that it would be the scene waiting for him every time he closed his eyes for the rest of his life. That it would haunt the girls forever too.

They weren't normal fireballs, they couldn't be. Kon had seen flames engulf a person, it didn't look like this. It was like the flames were a lightning strike, lighting Bart up so they could see right through him. His veins, skeleton, organs, all of it was clearly visible as it burned.

There was an echoing silence once the split-off's screams stopped, then there was a soft thud behind him.

"Oh my god! Bart!" Cissie cried, and they were all whipping around and practically diving towards the ground where Bart was curled in the fetal position.

Oh god oh god, nonononono this couldn't be happening.

"He's gone into shock!" He heard Cissie say distantly.

Kon thought he might be in shock too. Bart was shaking on the ground, entirely unresponsive. He was dying, that must be what this was, he was following suit with his split-off.

"His- oh man, that new power- it's-" he sucked in a sharp breath, trying to make his words make sense even as his head spun, "We've gotta do something, but what?"

He looked to Cissie, their medic, but she looked lost too. Kon couldn't live with this, how was he ever supposed to live with this? He'd gotten Bart killed, one of his best friends in the entire world. Someone who was so bright and full of life! He hadn't even known what it meant to love so freely and brightly before he'd met Bart.

This never would have happened with Robin leading them, or even Cassie. He shouldn't have done this, he shouldn't have lost his cool at Rob, or seized power as soon as they were separate from him. Oh god, Jesus fucking Christ what the hell had he been thinking?!

There was nothing to do, he could see that on Cissie's face. Could see it in the tears pouring down Cassie's.

He reached out with shaking hands and scooped Bart up. The least he could do was hold him, Bart had always hated being alone, had always loved being held or holding someone else. If he had to go, then this was how he'd want to go. He cradled Bart to his chest as tears streamed down his face.

"We- we need to find somewhere safer!" Cassie choked out around a sob, "The parademons are back."

Sure enough, there was a flock of them flying their way, their screeches filling the air.

There wasn't anywhere safe here, that was the whole point. They tried anyways though. Their fighting abilities were limited with him holding Bart and Cassie holding Cissie as they flew through the air. They didn't make it far, only as far as the courtyard of the massive complex before they were completely overwhelmed.

He'd wondered earlier how he was supposed to live with having gotten Bart killed. It turned out he didn't have to, none of them would have to live with this, they wouldn't get to live at all.

——————————————-

He woke up to a face rimmed by sunlight. It took him a moment and a couple of blinks for his vision to adjust enough for him to make out any features. That was when he realized that it was Kay leaning over him with her Knockout suit on.

"Good, you're awake, up and at 'em, pup!" She grinned, tousling his hair before pulling him onto his feet.

"Wha- where are we?" He asked, looking around at the jungle they were surrounded by.

"Hawaii, home sweet home, for you at least." She laughed, the sound booming and echoing all around them.

Knockout had always seemed bigger than life, but she was even more so now when he hadn't seen her in so long. Because she'd been in prison.

"How are you here? You were locked up!" He demanded, scrambling into a defensive position, he'd been the one to get her locked up after all, "How am I here? Where are the others?!"

It was coming back to him now, they'd been on Apokolips, Bart had- Bart had been hurt bad.

"I think you mean to say 'thank you'" she grinned at him, "When the facility holding me was compromised during the war I could have done anything with my freedom, and I chose to go back home to Apokolips to save you, pup. You're mine, and my sisters and Granny Goodness don't get to sink their claws into you."

He could feel his chest tightening with panic, because he hadn't been on Apokolips alone.

"Wh-what? My friends! What happened to my friends?" He asked, or more like begged for the answer to be anything other than what he thought it was.

"Oh, pup, it was too late for them." She said, voice dripping in condescension, "The only reason it wasn't too late for you was because they thought they could lure me in using you." She laughed, loud and dangerous before grinning down at him triumphantly. "They were right, but they still lost."

Kon's legs went out from under him and he crashed to his knees, his chest hitching with sobs as the weight of all that he'd lost slammed into him. He couldn't breath, his sobs were choking him, he couldn't take in any air around them couldn't speak, could barely do anything more than choke out the screams that came alongside his sobs.

"Shhhhh pup, don't cry, it's not a good look on you." He felt her hand running through his hair as she cooed down at him, before he felt the grip in his hair tighten and his head was tilted upwards, "Hmmm, actually, I don't think I mind it."

The grip in his hair tightened even more as she pulled him up til he was just dangling from her grip so she could lick the tears off his cheeks. It was reminiscent of their first kiss. Him being lifted up by her, unable to even get his feet under him while she did what she wanted and he was too out of it to even attempt to do anything about it.

After a while she seemed to get bored with his tears, and then her mouth slotted over his. That seemed to just frustrate her more though, probably because he was still just crying and limp. He couldn't even begin to focus on what she was doing when he'd just lost everything in one fell-swoop and it was all his fault.

She dropped him to the ground. He could've used his TTK to soften the fall, but he didn't, couldn't. Slamming into the ground was enough to get him to suck in a breath and then another until he slowly but surely started breathing properly again.

"It's a pity too, you sure know how to pick 'em, you know that? I could've had a whole harem, I could've had so much fun with all of you!" Kay was saying, sounding both smug and regretful all in one, "That blond girl with the goggles you like so much, I hear she's a real heavy hitter, she would've been been so fun to play with. The speedster too, I hear they heal nearly as quick as they move, I wouldn't need to pull my punches so much with him, plus I hear they can vibrate, mmmm." She licked her lips, Kon was going to throw up, "I know the bird boy is human, but I heard the Bats were made of different stuff, more flexible stuff. Say, pup, how far do you think I could bend him before he broke? The blond girl with the Arrows too, I know she's just human, but sometimes it's fun to break a human, even if you can only do it once. There's the newer girl too, with the swords, I don't know much about her, but I do know how to treat royalty!"

This was his worst nightmare. Made worse by the fact that the only reason his friends were spared this fate was because they were dead. Still though, just the idea was too awful to contemplate.

"N-no!" He tried to protest, to get her to stop talking about his friends like they were- were...

"Awww, pup, I know you're fond of them. Were fond of them." Her hand came down to caress his cheek, "I'd still let you play with them too. You all could put on a little show for me!"

There was bile in his throat now, fighting its way up. All he could manage was to shake his head.

"Oh, what's wrong?" She asked, voice as condescending as ever before she brightened, "Awwww, are you jealous? Is that it? You don't have to worry about that, you know you'll always be my favorite, pup."

Her words felt like a damnation. They felt inescapable.

This was all that was left, wasn't it? This was all he was now. He had no one left, and he sure as shit wasn't a hero or someone who was meant to have people who cared about him in his life. He'd lost that right when he'd gotten them all killed. What was the point of even trying to stop Kay, of trying to fight her? It's not like he'd ever been able to fight her and win before, other than one time, and that had included some extenuating circumstances.

Maybe all he was ever supposed to be was a body meant for other people to do what they wanted with.

"C'mon pup." She picked him up and set him on his feet, "It's time to train."

She began to lead him deeper into the jungle with a hand tight around his wrist. Except, he remembered the last time she'd trained him, what that had led to. He sure as shit couldn't be good, but he wouldn't let her make him a killer either.

"No! Kay, I'm not- I won't kill someone!" He said, finally able to speak properly around his grief and shock.

He tried to pull his wrist free from her grasp, but her grip just strengthened until it was bruisingly tight.

"Don't be ridiculous pup," and he could tell even through the whites of her mask that she was glaring at him, "You want to avenge them, don't you?"

Did he? He must, right? That was the proper response to having all of your friends killed. Surely it was the least he could do for them now.

"We need to train for that." She pointed out like it was obvious, "You remember last time we fought them? That won't cut it. That was only my sisters, and we didn't even win."

She was right. He remembered that fight, or, more accurately, he remembers them getting totally pounded. They'd had to trick Knockout's sisters into thinking they were dead just so they could survive.

He let her keep leading him into the jungle without argument after that. He felt like his whole body was numb, it spread slowly through his limbs as he walked. He felt like his consciousness was floating away too, somewhere above the treetops, up where he couldn't feel Knockout's hand around his wrist anymore or whatever was going to come next.

His consciousness came slamming back into his body when Kay brought him onto a small rocky beach where Tana was waiting for them.

"T-Tana?!" He cried out, lunging towards her.

Kay's hand came down around the back of his neck and stopped him, a quite effective scruff.

"Kid?!" Tana called out, also lunging forward only to be stopped by the cuff around her ankle that was connected to a chain anchored in the rock below them.

"Why is she chained up?!" He demanded, trying to pull free of Kay's grip.

"Stop fighting! She's where she's supposed to be!" Kay growled, kicking his legs out from under him and pinning him facedown against the rocks, "You can fight me another time, unfortunately that's not what we're doing right now."

"What are we doing here then?" He ground out, a million questions buzzing around in his head, none of this made sense, "How is Tana here? She died!"

Knockout laughed, "Don't be stupid! You didn't really think that was her, did you? In CADMUS? The center of clone development and you thought it was the original bitch?"

It was a thought he'd had. He'd hoped. Dubbilex had helped him check the records though, and according to them that had been the one and only Tana Moon.

Then again, hadn't the week before the war proven that he couldn't trust CADMUS or anyone really.

"Good, you're done throwing a fit." Knockout growled, pulling him right back onto his feet by the nape of his neck. "Now it's time for you to finally pop your cherry, pup!"

"Pretty sure we already did that. More than once." He shot back.

"Kid, what's going on?!" Tana asked, sounding scared.

"Not that cherry. Though there'll definitely be plenty of time for celebrating later." He jolted as her hand smacked his ass and then squeezed. "We just need to rid you of this awful habit you've got first."

"W-what habit?" He couldn't help the crack in his voice, he was too terrified to even try to hide his trembling either.

"This no-killing habit, obviously." She answered, then pressed a gun into his hand. "Kill her. Once you do you'll be able to kill anyone."

"No! I'll never kill anyone! Especially not her!" He insisted, trying to throw the gun into the ocean, but something was making it stick to his palm. "No! Take it back!"

Knockout laughed, "It's always so cute when you think you can fight me on things." Her hands gripped his hips, squaring them to shoot, "You have ten seconds to take the shot."

She pressed herself against his back, ducking her head to mouth at his ear and then down his neck. He couldn't help the shiver as he felt the awful sensation of something sliding down his spine. Knockout seemed to interpret it as a shiver of pleasure though.

She hummed against his skin, "Mmmmm, there's more where that came from, you just need to take one little shot."

Her hand wrapped around his hand with the gun, guiding the gun up till it was aimed right at Tana's head. Her index finger came up to rest over his on the trigger, "Just a little squeeze."

"Kid?!" Tana gasped, eyes wide in horror.

He threw his arm to the side right as she put pressure on his finger. The shot boomed so loudly, Tana's scream somehow louder as she ducked and covered her head. The shot went wide, thankfully, and he breathed a sigh of relief before taking the distraction to slam the pistol back into Knockout's head.

Kay just growled, "You can't possibly have thought that lovetap would work, pup, you know better than that."

God, she didn't even seem angry at his attempt, just amused. It had always been like this though, she'd always taken her pleasure with a heaping side of pain, whether it was hers or someone else's didn't matter, she was pretty indiscriminate.

"I suppose I'll make this a bit easier for you. You were quite fond of her." Knockout sighed, sounding as if she really thought she was being generous, "Shoot her in the next five seconds or else."

"Or else what?!" He demanded, but she just laughed.

"Three... two... one!" She finished counting down because obviously Kon wasn't going to shoot Tana.

Knockout produced a knife from somewhere and, before Kon could stop her, she threw it. Tana's scream told him it'd hit its target before he could turn his head to see it sticking straight through her calf.

"No! Tana!" He cried out, trying to dive forward again, but Knockout's hands were on his hips again holding him back.

"I've got lots more knives." Knockout informed him, "And there's lots of places on her body I can put them through without killing her. So you can either shoot her and put her out of her misery, or you can make her suffer first."

"No! Don't hurt me kid, please!" Tana begged, cradling her calf with tears streaming down her face.

"I don't understand why you're so hesitant." Knockout mused, "You know, she's just like me. The thing, other than the killing, that you're angriest with me for, she did it too."

No. No. That was different! Tana had- she'd loved him! Kay hadn't! Kay had just- just- used him, and hadn't bothered with the loving him part of the equation.

"Stop this! Knockout stop! I don't want to train, I don't want any of this!" He begged, trying to pull free from her grasp, but it was useless.

"You've got ten more seconds before I let the next knife fly." Was all Knockout had to say in response.

He stuck the gun behind him and pulled the trigger, but the bullet just bounced harmlessly off of her. She tsked in clear disappointment.

"Time's up." She said, and he could hear the grin in her voice as her arm snapped out lightning fast and another knife flew.

It buried itself in Tana's other calf.

"Stop! Stop it! Stop hurting me, Superboy! You're supposed to save me!" She screamed.

"C'mon pup, I'm starting to get impatient." Knockout hummed, fingers moving adeptly to untuck the top half of his uniform from the bottom, "As you know, that's a real dangerous game to play with me."

He sucked in a sharp breath as her fingers dipped below the waistline of the uniform pants. He didn't know how to stop this, was there even a way for him to stop this?

"Please, no, not Tana. I'll do anything, Kay, I swear, whatever you want!" He begged, tears streaming down his face as her hands traveled further down.

"You already know what I want, Pup. Now it's time to give it to me!" She growled before biting his ear hard enough to draw blood.

He struggled, trying as hard as he could to break free, to do anything. It was useless, there was no escaping this. His whole life, the whole one year of it, was all just leading to this.

He blinked. Empress was staring down at him before she got slammed to the side.

He gasped, shooting up from the table he'd been lying on.

"Mom!" Cassie screamed, and he whipped his head to the side to see her on a table the same as his own.

He wasn't in Hawaii. Kay and Tana weren't here. His friends were here. They were all alive and still on Apokolips.

Thank God! Was a wierd thought to have when realizing he was on Apokolips, but it was the only thing bouncing around in his head for the second before he realized half his friends were mid fight.

Cassie was up now too, helping Anita with one of Kay's sisters. He looked around the room and saw everyone except Lobo and Secret.

"I'll kill you! I'll tear you limb from limb and roast them in a goddamn fire!" Robin yelled, throwing punch after punch at Granny Goodness herself.

Kon had never been more terrified both of and for Robin, because, on the one hand, Robin meant that threat, but, on the other, that was motherfucking Granny Goodness. The evil quasi deity that even Knockout ran scared from.

He couldn't help Robin though, because, unfortunately, it seemed like a fucking family reunion, minus Kay, in this lab/dungeon. Kay had a lot of sisters, and all of them were powerhouses, so this was going to have to be a divide and conquer sort of situation if they were gonna stand even the slimmest of chances.

He took the element of surprise and grabbed two of them to slam them straight through a metal door and out through the courtyard into the sky where he promptly dropped them, remembering from last time that these two couldn't fly. He knew better than to hope they were out of commission, but hopefully it'd at least slow them down.

He zoomed back into the lab to find Secret had rejoined them from wherever they'd been keeping her. Her powers turned out to be enough to turn the tide just enough for them to hightail it out of there.

They got halfway out of the compound before he remembered Steel, and tried to turn back.

"Kon, we gotta get out of here!" Robin yelled, mid kick to the solar plexus of a parademon.

"Not without Steel!" He shot back, sinking a fist right into another parademon's face.

"Steel's gone! He left Apokolips!" Secret shouted, blasting back one of Kay's sisters who tried to pursue them, "There's nothing more for us here!"

"How do you know?!" He demanded, trying to decide if he thought she was lying just to get him to leave or not.

"It-it's a secret!" She snapped, "I just do, ok!"

No, not ok. "But-" a kick to his solar plexus this time cut off his protest.

Robin took the opportunity of him stumbling after the hit to grab one of his arms and loop it over his shoulder so he could drag Kon away with him.

"C'mon! C'mon! Keep moving!" Robin was shouting as they all ran.

Kon wheezed around his aching chest, Christ, what had that boot been made of?

That was when they ran right into a dead end. They tried to turn and run the other way, but Granny Goodness, a few of Kay's sisters, and an army of parademons was waiting for them.

Except, hey, look at that, it turned out Young Justice had brought its own army to the battle. Plus, Lobo had finally made his reappearance, or more accurately, an army of many many many Lobos made their appearance.

The clash between the Lobos and Granny Goodness' army was a brutal and bloody one, or the thirty seconds of it that he saw were.

Bart's spaceship appeared overhead, their clear getaway.

"Impulse's ship! Let's go!" Robin called out, and Cassie grabbed Cissie alongside a catatonic Bart who'd already been in her arms while Kon grabbed Robin and Anita to fly up to the ship, Secret floating along with them, "We're outta here!"

Once they made it inside the ship Robin immediately started asking questions.

"I don't understand! Where did all those Lobos come from? What's going to happen to them? And who's flying the freaking ship?!" He listed off, and Kon had the answer to approximately none of those questions.

He knew how to find one of the answers though. They all crashed through the halls of the ship towards the flight deck. It turned out a lot of the answers to Robin's questions were waiting for them there.

"Since yer askin', they come from spattered drops of my blood." A voice from the pilot's chair answered, though they couldn't see who was sitting in it even if the voice was very recognizable, "And once they're done fraggin those losers, they'll probably turn on each other until there's only one left. And at the speed they're agin' he'll be an adult in no time. As for who's drivin' this boat... it's me."

Lobo spun around in the chair, and Kon couldn't help the gasp he sucked in, though to be fair the others all gasped too. It was Lobo, but it also wasn't. He looked younger, thinner, and more fragile than he'd been at the start of this mission. More than the army of Lobos had been too.

He gave them no further explanation for his appearance though. Instead he just turned around and kept piloting them out of Apokolips' atmosphere, this time sans getting shot out of the sky with lasers.

"I- I don't understand." Robin's voice finally broke their stunned silence, "You died. I watched you die. How? How did you survive that?"

He sounded traumatized. Kon wanted to wrap him up in a hug right this fucking second. Except, even if their arrangement basically banned PDA, he doubted Rob would accept it anyway. Not after their fight earlier.

"I didn't." Was all Lobo said in cryptic response, then added, "You all should go wash off. It smells rank in here and that's coming from me."

That seemed to break them out of it. Lobo saying they smelled bad was really saying something after all.

"Ok, everyone follow me." Cissie ordered, "We're going to first aid, everyone is getting a look over. I don't care if you don't think you're injured."

It was a testament to how exhausted they all were that they followed without any argument.

Bart went first, Cassie placing him gently on the cot. Robin asked what had happened, and Cassie explained while Cissie looked him over. She checked his reflexes and his pupils for responsiveness. Thankfully he had no other injuries, but he wasn't responsive to anything at all either.

Cissie sighed, straightening up, "There's nothing more I can do. Once we get back to earth the other flashes should be able to help, but for now we should just get him clean and comfortable."

Kon bit his fist so he wouldn't burst into tears in the hallway outside the med room. He'd done that. He'd caused this to happen to Bart. It was all his fucking fault and he couldn't bear it.

"I'll take him." Cassie said resolutely, tone making it clear she'd hear no argument on the matter.

No one tried to argue. Kon certainly didn't, Bart would be much better off in her hands than in his anyway.

"I'm checking you over first." Cissie said, and then went about doing so.

The rest of them sat in the hall in silence as they slowly waited their turns. Kon made sure he was set to go last. They'd ended up here because of him, they could get their wounds treated first. Plus, more selfishly, the idea of being in any medical setting, and in anyone else's hands terrified him. Even if it was Cissie.

One by one the rest of them got checked over. No one needed anything more than a finger or two splinted and a couple of stitches here and there thankfully. Kon was pretty sure he was okay for the most part, but he knew better than to argue when it was finally his turn to get checked over.

Cissie was careful about it, and not too clinical. He was pretty sure that that was supposed to be a bad thing, but he appreciated it not feeling so perfunctory and impersonal. He felt like she was looking him over because he mattered to her, as a person too and not just mattering in a professional capacity. It felt like more than he deserved, but he soaked it up anyway.

He didn't complain when she had to give him a couple of stitches too, just focused on making sure his TTK force field didn't come back up no matter how badly he wanted it to.

Eventually Cissie finished, covering the area with bandages.

"Do you need help?" He asked, realizing the others had all gone to shower and then wherever else, likely to the bunk room.

She gave him a tight smile and shook her head, "I'm alright. I'll give myself a quick check to be sure, but I didn't really do any fighting, that was all you guys. Go shower."

He nodded, accepting the answer easily enough, Cissie could be plenty proud, but she wasn't the kind of stupid that hid injuries. Besides, if she had anything major or life-threatening then it probably would have made itself known by now.

He left to go snag one of the two showers on the ship. He was sure it must feel wierd to shower for the others when gravity was more of a suggestion than a strict rule on the ship, but for him, thanks to his TTK, it was perfectly normal.

That made it a lot easier for him to spend an absurd amount of time in the shower. He probably shouldn't have, especially since the water wasn't even warm anymore after all the others had showered, plus Cissie presumably showering in the other shower.

He just... couldn't get clean. Not literally. The dirt and sweat and blood and grime and whatever else that had been caked on him had washed off a while ago. He still didn't feel clean though, no matter how long he scrubbed at his skin, no matter how pink and then red it turned.

It took a while, but he eventually managed to force himself to turn off the water and step out of the shower. There was no noise coming from the other shower, and no one else in the little locker room area, so Cissie must've already finished up and moved on. He went to his locker, grabbing one of the pairs of sweats and a t-shirt that he'd stashed in his locker back when they'd all packed the ship with essentials.

The fabric was soft against his skin, too soft, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like something that should be against his skin. His skin didn't feel right either, like it was too clean but also not clean enough. He felt a bit like his body couldn't possibly be his own right now, like the sensations he was feeling couldn't possibly be right.

He'd been irrevocably changed by recent events, and this new and awful version of himself just wasn't compatible with good things like clean skin and soft fabrics.

He didn't have the energy to deal with that right now. This was possibly the worst body crash he'd ever felt. So it didn't matter how much he felt like he should put his filthy suit back on because right now that just made more sense, he wasn't stupid enough to actually do that. Lobo had been right, they had reeked, and the others at the very least did not deserve to deal with that smell wafting off of him.

He squared his shoulders and left the locker room, heading down the hallway towards the bunk room. On his was he passed by the door leading to the flight deck. Peering in he spotted Anita sitting with Lobo near the pilot's seat. Good, the two of them had a weird sort of bond, so he was happy they wouldn't be alone after everything that had happened.

He continued on the last few steps to the bunkroom, pushing the door open softly and using his TTK to make sure the hinges didn't squeak. His eyes travelled the room, cataloguing everyone's positions. The bunk room had two sets of bunk beds, four twin beds total. On the bottom one closest to the door Cassie was asleep wrapped protectively around Bart. Secret was on the bunk above them floating just an inch or two above the bed as she slept. Cissie was passed out, limbs splayed across the top bunk on the far wall.

Robin wasn't asleep. He was laying on his side, facing the door as far back on the bottom bunk as he could be with his back against the wall. He was staring right at Kon, face completely blank. Kon couldn't do anything but stare right back.

God, he wanted.

Robin probably didn't though, it was understandable that he wouldn't, after the fight and everything else Kon had put them through by stranding them in literal hell.

He could probably bunk with one of the others, or he could go back out to the lounge area behind the flight deck and crash on one of the couches. He was exhausted enough that the fact that it would be a supremely uncomfortable place to sleep wouldn't really matter.

Robin kept staring at him, those piercing blue eyes lighting up the dark room. Kon wasn't sure what message he was supposed to be reading in them though, not with Robin's face being completely blank.

He was just about to turn around and head out to the couches when Robin's hand snaked out from under the blanket to flip down the corner closer to the door. Kon didn't need any more invitation than that.

He closed the door behind him silently before floating across the room so he didn't make any noise with footsteps. He held his breath as he slid into the bed carefully, praying that he hadn't misinterpreted Robin's movement as an invitation when it hadn't been one.

As soon as he was in the bed though Robin's arms wrapped around him and that was all he needed to be sure that he'd been right. He wrapped his arms around Robin in return, pulling the other boy tightly against his chest.

There were no words, there was nothing to say anyway. Nothing that could be said could change anything that had happened in the last... who even knew how long this whole thing had been? Nothing was ok. It was likely that nothing would be ok ever again. How could it be after everything they'd been through? The hug couldn't erase their earlier argument or Kon's doubts about Robin or Robin's anger with Kon for getting them into this situation. Things were still tense and awful, but at least he was here in safe arms, at least he could keep one of his friends safe, if only for tonight.

There was a wet spot growing against his chest. That was okay though, it made him feel better about the way he was wetting Robin's hair with his own tears. He just wrapped his arms tighter around Robin, letting one hand wrap around his ribs while the other rubbed up and down his spine in an attempt to sooth him in what little ways he could. It was the least he could do.

One of Robin's hands was wrapped around his lower back while the other one had made its way up to the back of his head, fingers lacing into the shorter hair. It reminded him for a second of the way Kay's fingers had run through his hair before gripping it tight in the nightmare or hallucination or whatever it had been before he shook that thought away. This was nothing like that. Even thinking about them in the same context was laughable with how different they were. Even now, with all their issues, Robin's touch was kind and protective. Robin's was, and had been for a while now, the best touch he knew, the most comforting by far. So, despite all odds, Kon fell asleep that night feeling safe.

Chapter Text

Lobo woke them all up when they reached the JL Watchtower. Apparently, the JL had hailed their ship while they were all asleep, Lobo had refused to wake them for 'stupid adult lectures, and if they kept trying he'd just frag them too!' and so they'd just told him to dock at the watchtower.

Tim was too exhausted, even after however much sleep he'd gotten, to care about how the insubordination would reflect on him as team leader. It didn't even matter really, he wouldn't be team leader for much longer anyway, he couldn't be. There was no way to effectively lead or even be a part of a team that couldn't trust him. All that it would lead to would be exactly what had happened: missions that went so horribly wrong that they ended up stranded in literal hell, deeply traumatized, and with at least two of their team members having at least sort of died.

The fact that he was also absolutely hating himself didn't exactly help his mood either. He'd sworn to himself after the original Batman pollen incident that he wouldn't take comfort or affection from someone that didn't want it to be with him ever again. Then Kon had come into the bunk room and just looked at him with so much raw need and that stupid insatiable part of him that did nothing but just want and want and want no matter how much it was or wasn't fed had made him crumble.

He'd hated himself even as he did it, even as he soaked up the comfort and finally let the tears that had been threatening to fall for a long time now fall and be soaked up by Kon. He had hated himself so much, he might have honestly never hated himself more. Kon didn't want this, he'd needed it from someone and Tim was there and awake, but he didn't want it from Tim specifically, he couldn't have wanted it from Tim when he didn't even trust him. The fact that he was still angry at Kon just made it feel even more miserable, especially because, despite all of that, he still loved Kon. That might've been the worst part of it all.

Actually, the worst part of it all was the possibility that Kon had never wanted it to be Tim specifically. That he'd just wanted or needed and Tim had only been convenient. That it had all been a lie. Nothing made him hate himself more than that did.

They deboarded the ship together. Cassie went first, Bart still catatonic in her arms and rushed him over to where the Flashes were standing, explaining quickly what had happened. They rushed him off presumably in the direction of either the zeta tubes or the medbay, all of them gone in... well, in a flash. Cassie was left standing there looking a bit unmoored.

Wonder Woman was there a moment later, pulling her into a gentle but firm hug.

He blinked and Batman was standing in front of him.

"Robin, Report." came the stupidly predictable growl.

All the sudden, every bit of exhaustion and numbness that'd kept him floating through everything since his adrenaline had crashed in the shower evaporated and was replaced with a complete and total burning rage.

He decked Batman.

Things exploded after that. In less than the time it took for him to pull his fist back to swing again, the entirety of Young Justice had moved to get between him and the rest of the JL.

Everyone was in a fighting stance except for him. He hadn't even been in a stance when he'd thrown the punch, it was probably why B hadn't seen it coming enough to block it. It was hard to predict someone who hadn't even known himself he was going to throw a punch.

Even standing here now, he knew he shouldn't have done it. It wasn't even Batman's fault, not really. The files weren't what broke things, they'd just been the match that finally lit a whole barrel of explosives he'd been blissfully unaware of.

It was a probably a good thing that Lobo had left with Secret and the ship as soon as they'd gotten off. He would've taken Tim's punch as an excuse to start fighting and then instead of all just standing around tensely they'd have just gone to war with the JLA, which would have ended spectacularly shittily.

Or at least that was what Lobo would have done, Tim had gotten him killed though, so now he had no freaking clue what this new version would do.

"Gamma-36. Proceed accordingly." Came Batman's growl.

Tim burst into hysterical peels of laughter at that, because seriously?! Leave it to Bruce to think something insane had happened as opposed to considering the possibility that someone was just mad at him.

"I haven't been mind controlled, or replaced by a clone, or in any way compromised, B." He sighed, because frankly he just didn't want to deal with this any more, he just wanted to fuck off somewhere he could convince himself was at least a little safe and sleep some more, "That was all me."

Fuck, he wanted his parents. He wanted his mom, which was so stupid, but it was true. He'd been to literal hell and back and parents were supposed to make kids feel safe, right? So he wanted his parents to make him feel safe and he wanted a goddamn hug that didn't make him hate himself, and he wanted someone to tell him they loved him and mean it. So yeah, he wanted his fucking mom.

"Wait, you think Rob's been compromised?" Cassie asked, sounding both confused and affronted at the idea, "That's crazy, he definitely hasn't been."

"Can you definitively prove that he hasn't been?" Batman turned his knowing glare on her.

She gulped, then said nothing, seeming to be at a loss for how to prove it definitively when she couldn't say they hadn't been separated at any point or even just that their minds hadn't been fucked with at one point.

"I can prove it!" Kon piped up, and Tim couldn't wait to hear whatever he had to say because theoretically he should be in the same boat as Cassie as far as proof went. "I can say with one hundred percent certainty that that is definitely his heartbeat. Not anyone else's, and if he was being mind controlled then his heart rate would probably change from how it usually behaves in some way, and his hasn't."

B seemed to consider that for a moment before growling out a, "Superman?" To ask for confirmation.

"Well, I don't have Robin's heartbeat memorized, but I can tell you that it's definitely a human heartbeat and that there are no arrhythmias or total smoothness I'd associate with either mind control or deception." Superman responded, sounding a bit unsure at first before gaining confidence in his response, "Superboy's heartbeat also indicates no deception."

Batman considered that, just staring at all of them stonily. Tim was over it, he was over all of this. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to go home.

"Look, it's my fault." Kon tried to reason with Bruce, an impossible task when he got that stubborn set to his jaw, "I'm why he's angry at you, so don't be mad at him."

Batman hadn't actually been angry at Tim, he'd been feeling defensive and unsure if he could trust Tim. He could see why Kon had misinterpreted the expression though.

"It's my fault too, it's all of our faults." Cassie chimed in, even as her voice wavered a bit under the brunt of the JL's glares.

"Speak for yourselves." Anita muttered under her breath, "I was on his side." But didn't say anything loud enough to contradict Cassie.

"Explain." Wonder Woman instructed, looking down at Cassie sternly, "What could you have done to enrage the young Robin against his mentor so?"

"Ummm so we heard about Batman's contingency files." Cassie started, a ripple of unease passing through the JLA, clearly they weren't over it either, "And it made us worry that Rob might have files on us too, but we didn't ask him cause we didn't want to find out that he did cause he's our friend and that would have sucked. And then, I guess the idea freaked us out enough that there was some... friction... when it came to following Rob's orders as well as we usually would. That's how we ended up crashing on Apokolips, then we all got in an argument about it and everything after that just went really horribly cause it was Apokolips and all. And it turns out Robin didn't even have any files on us, so we just got mad at him for nothing. So yeah, it's our fault, you should be mad at us, Batman."

Oh, she was terrified, he could see it in the shake of her hands that were hidden from the JL behind her back but still clearly visible to him. It was brave of her, probably about as brave as Cissie had been when she'd yelled at Batman back at the start of their group.

Batman did not look like he appreciated the bravery. If anything his expression had soured ever so slightly when she'd brought up the files, it was likely he still thought everyone had overreacted about their existence.

"You were on Apokolips?" Superman asked, sounding surprised and at least a little horrified.

Huh, apparently no one had known where they were, he wondered what had happened to their trackers.

"Robin. If you have gotten it out of your system, now would be the time to share your mission report." Batman ordered, his eyes piercing clear through all of Young Justice to find his.

Tim wanted to say fuck it and leave. He wanted so badly to say that the rest of the team could give the mission report this time and that he was going home. He wanted to cry, but, as quickly as the large swells of emotion, mostly anger and that awful overwhelmed feeling, had sprung up in his chest they left. He was left with that aching numbness and exhaustion that had colored everything since they'd made it out of Apokolips.

He gave the mission report as emotionlessly as it was humanly possibly to do. Red Tornado put more emotion into speaking strings of binary code than he put into his mission report.

He ignored the subtle and not so subtle reactions of the JL and just met the blank stare of Batman's cowl and clocked out as the words fell from his lips. He felt so separated from everything, he was starting to wonder if he'd ever feel like he was truly an inhabitant of his own body ever again.

He must've finished his report because eventually the words stopped coming. He stood there in silence for a moment as the JL seemed to process whatever he'd just told them. He could honestly not care less about the JL right now though, looking around at the haunted and exhausted forms of all of his teammates. He felt it echo in his own bones.

They were done. He was done. He wanted to go home and he could see that the others did too.

They needed rest, and probably food that wasn't a ration bar, and there was a good chance they were all dehydrated since they definitely hadn't had enough, if any, water before they'd all passed out. He may not be the unofficial leader of this team, or even on it, for much longer, but he'd lead it to the best of his abilities until the end. One of the biggest parts of being a good leader was knowing when to call it quits, or at least take a break.

"Look, I understand that this is a lot to try and take in, but can we be excused? All of us need some sleep and probably some sustenance too." He said, hoping that for once in his life something would just be simple, "Those of us who are up for it can return to the war effort after, but we need at least a day or two to be able to recover, and those of us who have families should be able to see them."

He watched as Kon's shoulders curled inwards ever so slightly at the last bit, even as the girls perked up with hope. Tim understood the girls, after all, he really wanted to see his parents too.

It was funny how, even when he was so hurt by and so angry at Kon, Tim still felt a little awful when he saw his shoulders curl in just that little bit. It would have to be fine though. Kon may not have a family but he'd have Secret and Lobo back at their HQ, he'd have Supergirl if she was around, he'd have whatever of his CADMUS friends had survived the whole baby Guardian situation, and he'd maybe even have Roxy if he could find her. It wasn't a family, and it was frankly a pretty poor substitute, but the point was that Kon wasn't entirely alone in life, even without a family. Even without Tim.

Normally Tim was happy to help fill that gap, especially since he had his own gap that needed filling. However, with everything that'd gone down and the clear lack of trust that Kon had towards him, Tim was pretty sure what'd happened in the bunkroom was all that he could give Kon right now.

"You... cannot do that." Came Batman's growl, though it sounded hesitant in a way it never was.

The rest of Young Justice tensed at that, most of them having families they wanted to see and all of them not handling being told what to do by adults well.

"What Batman means, is that a lot has happened on your side as well as on ours." Superman rushed in, cutting Batman an exasperated look, "We need to catch you up, and we need to make sure you all are healthy enough before we send you all home to your families."

"Catch us up on what exactly?" Cassie demanded, the most combative she'd been yet in this conversation.

That made sense though, Cassie didn't play about her mom, so the JL saying they couldn't go see their parents would be the spark that set her off. Tim was only peripherally paying attention to the others though, most of his attention was on Batman.

Tim couldn't explain it, couldn't put his finger on what exactly was off, but there definitely was something off about B. There was something he was... worried about? Maybe? Tim wasn't sure, but he knew there was something Batman wasn't saying.

"What?!" Cassie exclaimed, suddenly breaking him out of his stare down with the cowl, "What do you mean the war is over?!"

Wait. What? That- that couldn't be possible! When they'd ended up on Apokolips the war had no end in sight, and they hadn't been on Apokolips for more than a day, maybe two, plus maybe half a day once they left Apokolips behind until they'd arrived here. So, how could the war be over? Every war Tim had learned about in school lasted years.

Had they lost? Had it been some crushing and sudden defeat?

But if they'd lost, surely the JLA wouldn't all be here intact.

"Did we win?" Kon spoke up, asking what Tim had been wondering.

"Yes. We did." Superman answered, "It was hard fought, but we won about two weeks ago. You all were missing for several weeks before that."

What. The. Fuck.

They'd been on Apokolips for more than a month!!! Maybe longer since Superman didn't say how many weeks they'd been missing specifically.

His parents must be really worried. He must have been missing in their eyes. Well, technically he had gone missing so that wasn't a lie, plus given the whole war it'd be a believable story. At least there was one thing he wouldn't have to worry about.

Now that he thought about it, he remembered Lobo saying something before they'd all konked out about time working different on Apokolips. Plus, Tim knew enough about astrophysics to know that time worked differently at different speeds, and the speed at which Apokolips had moved away from Earth would be enough to noticeably alter the passage of time for them.

It shouldn't have altered it enough for there to be more than a month long discrepancy though. Then again, there was no real way of knowing how long Granny Goodness had had them trapped in nightmare hallucinations to produce nightmare fuel.

"Holy Hera, my mom has gotta be totally wigging out." Cassie groaned, "I need to tell her I'm ok before she grounds me for all of eternity!"

Well, at least Tim didn't have to be concerned about getting grounded. Ha, the idea was almost laughable, his parents would have to be around for long enough to ground him and then enforce it.

"Yes, your mother, as well as your companion's mother," Wonder Woman nodded to Cissie who blinked in surprise, "Have been making sure their concerns about your whereabouts have been heard every day. I assure you, they will both be informed immediately of your survival and safe return to us."

"The best way for them to be informed would be for our parents to actually see us again." Anita pointed out, tone blatant and unforgiving.

Well, he'd never doubted her courage, but it was particularly apparent now. Very few people had the balls to stand up to the Justice League in any capacity. She'd said once that Cissie as Arrowette had inspired her to become Empress, and it turned out she'd been inspired in more ways than one.

"You will all be able to go home." Superman assured them, "You will all be able to return to your families and lives soon, I swear it. You all just need to go to STAR Labs first."

Robin felt his eyes narrow. It would be one thing for the JLA to insist they all get a quick check over for injuries first. That would be something that could be done easily in the JLA headquarters though with their state of the art med center. So why did they need to go to STAR Labs?

"Yeah right!" Kon scoffed in that tone that told Robin that this was about to become a problem, "We did not just escape Granny Goodness' lab of torture just to go be lab rats somewhere else."

Oh, this was going to be a really fucking big problem.

"No one is asking you to be a lab rat." Superman shot back, in that tense way he always spoke to Kon even when he was trying to be nice, "You all just got back from space, and Apokolips no less. You could be injured, you could have had something planted into you in Granny Goodness' lab that is waiting to he activated, or you could have contracted or be carrying some sort of disease. The possibilities are nearly limitless, therefore you all need to be cleared by professionals before we can let any of you interact with the general populace."

Fuck. Superman was right. He was totally right.

Tim elected not to mention the time they'd already been to space, interacted with several alien races, been to multiple planets, and also just casually picked up some random guy they'd found in space and added him to their group. If Superman was worried about space diseases then he didn't need to know about that.

It did confirm his previous theory that the JLA wasn't reading their mission reports, or was only sparingly reading them at that very least. They hadn't gotten checked out or anything after that, nor had anyone even told them to, so the JLA definitely didn't know about it despite him having submitted a mission report.

Kon didn't seem to care that, objectively, as much as it sucked, Superman was right. They posed a not ignorable level of threat to the general populace should they just leave here and go straight home. In fact, Kon's posture and just general energy was becoming more and more that of a cornered animal as the seconds ticked by.

It was understandable. Tim knew exactly where Kon was coming from. He knew that Kon already had a not insignificant amount of trauma linked to the whole being a medical experiment thing and not everyone treating him like a human because of it, especially with his past interactions with the Agenda. Plus having been in Granny Goodness' lab before they'd escaped and being strapped down to a table and all probably hadn't helped anything.

Tim couldn't make this go away though, there was a real need for them to go to STAR, that was unavoidable. He could try to make it go a bit smoother though, and more importantly make Kon feel safer about it.

"We'll go." He spoke for all of them.

The girls shot him uneasy looks, Superman nodded approvingly, and Kon whipped around to glare at him, "You can't be serious Rob!" He tried.

Tim continued on without telling Kon to be quiet so that he could explain and negotiate. He'd never tell Kon any variation of shut up, not after what Kon had mentioned about when he'd been younger and still very much an experiment in some people's eyes and not allowed to speak.

No matter how angry he was at Kon, and he was very angry, he'd never tell Kon not to speak.

"We do it together though, we all go in together, we all leave together. We all get tested and treated together." He continued, setting his demands with no room for negotiation, "At no point will any of us be separated from each other."

It was a bold demand, and one that they realistically had no way to enforce. Them versus the JLA was not a fight they were capable of winning, especially without Lobo, Bart, and Secret. Tim could definitely make things more difficult for them though, and that was what he'd do if he had to.

Superman frowned, "I'm not sure if they'll be able to accomodate that, but we can request it when we bring you-"

"I'm not requesting." he cut Superman off, which was a little terrifying even if he knew he had a bit of Kryptonite in the heel of his boot, "This is our demand and you will either ensure that it is met or we will fight, and I don't particularly care if it's you or if it's some lab techs at STAR, so I suggest you do your due diligence."

"Robin." Batman barked, a clear warning to get himself in line, or at least remember that he was speaking to allies, even as the other Young Justice members took fighting stances around him.

"It would not be a fight that would be prudent of you all to take on." Wonder Woman asserted, frowning as she looked at Cassie who looked guilty but kept her stance.

It was crazy that Cassie could not trust him to the effect of everything that'd gone down on Apokolips, but would still stand ten toes down with him against her own mentor. Then again, she was only standing with him to the effect of protecting Kon, so he guessed that made sense.

"I think my entry alone has demonstrated how prudent I care about being right now." He shot back, terrified beyond belief at back-talking Wonder Woman (Jason Todd was surely rolling in his grave) but he forced his voice not to waver.

Surprisingly, it was Batman who folded, cowled face tilting slightly towards Kon, considering, before the whites found Tim's eyes. "We will ensure your demand is met."

Wonder Woman did not change her relaxed stance, since it seemed she'd only been interested in telling them not to start a fight. Superman turned his back on them and stepped close to Batman, murmuring in a voice that clearly wasn't meant to be made out, but definitely could be heard in the otherwise silent Watchtower.

"They are in no position to be making demands." Superman hissed.

Tim was two seconds away from saying fuck it and pulling out the shard of Kryptonite. Fuck him so much. Where did he even get off treating Kon like a disappointment, like some random kid that he couldn't care less about and who was anything but his responsibility, but still someone he could use whenever it was convenient. And Kon was grateful for it, lapped up any bit of kindness or consideration the man seemed to vaguely toss his way every once in a while. He remembered how excited Kon had been when Superman had given him a name, so full of hope and unfiltered joy, and even as Tim had celebrated with him all he could think was how awful it was that it had taken Superman so long.

Why in the hell had he thought it was appropriate to not allow Superboy the dignity of having a name?

No amount of anger at Kon could erase the anger Tim felt at Superman in Kon's defense. What a disappointment that hero had turned out to be. Tim had never understood how he had earned the honor of being Dick's favorite.

Luckily, for Superman at least, Batman seemed to be on the same wavelength as Tim, and handled it before he could attack a JL member for the second time.

"Yes they are." Batman growled out.

"Excuse me?" Superman spat out, "They come into our watchtower, immediately pick a fight, none of them are particularly apologetic. Then, when told what they need to do and even given an explanation, they somehow think that they can dole out demands to us."

"They are not our enemies Kal, they are our children, you would do well to remember that." Batman growled back, "Especially considering one of them is yours."

"He is not mine." Superman shot back, an instinctual response.

Something in B's posture shifted slightly, the cape fluttering as his feet took a slightly more combative stance, Tim saw Superman clock it even as no one else in the room did. B was pissed.

"He wears your crest, you gave given him a name, he is at the very least your protogee. If you feel the need to debate this then we will do so at a later date when the child in question is not present to witness it." Batman ground out, some of the growl being lost to the steel in his tone.

Tim shot a glance over to Kon who looked sick. He considered whipping the kryptonite out anyway.

Batman wasn't done though, "As it stands, our children are standing in front of us after what was undoubtedly a significantly traumatic experience and they are telling us what they need to feel safe, and it is not an unreasonable request. So, they are undoubtedly in a position to be making demands right now."

A part of Tim balked at Batman referring to him, even peripherally, and even in a way comparable to how Cassie was Wondergirl's and Kon was Superman's, as his kid. Another part of him was just grateful that someone was chewing Superman out about how he treated Kon, and reminding the JLA as a whole that Young Justice was not their enemy. Most of him was just tired enough that he wanted this to be over, no matter how it ended.

"Can we go now?" He asked, interrupting the Superman-Batman stare down that was feeling more like a Kal-Bruce stare down the more seconds that ticked by.

"Yes." Batman nodded sharply, then started walking towards the zeta tubes, Tim and the rest of Young Justice trailing behind.

The trip was quiet, none of them speaking the whole way to the Zeta tubes, or even once they arrived at STAR Labs. They followed Batman quietly through the facility, and then listened to the scientists who would be working on them quietly as they explained what they'd be checking for and what they'd be doing to perform those checks.

They only spoke when prompted as the doctors and scientists asked them questions and only when they couldn't answer with a nod or a shake of their heads. No one attempted to separate them, per their request.

Batman stayed, looming in the shadows in the corner of the room, a silent watchdog. Tim hated to admit that he felt a little bit better that he was there, that protecting their little group didn't fall solely on him with Batman standing watch. Wonder Woman wandered in a little later too, and Superman a little after that. Both of them quiet, Wonder Woman watching over them with a warm protectiveness and Superman just sort of there, though to his credit his eyes did track the medical tools with an air of caution. Tim still wanted to get out the Kryptonite, but he kept his energy focused on watching out for his team.

Kon was paler than Tim had maybe ever seen him other than his bloodless chunk of torso that Tim had seen in his Granny Goodness nightmare. He was visibly scared too, more scared than he usually was around medical facilities. Tim wasn't sure what his Granny Goodness nightmare had been, but he was willing to bet it was probably some horrific experimentation based on his reactions now.

Cassie grabbed Kon's hand at some point, and didn't let go. He was grateful for that, grateful for the fact that she was doing what he couldn't stand to do right now.

Time passed slowly, like he was stuck in syrup. He wasn't sure if he was just dissociating or if he was really just that exhausted still. Either way, once they got started it didn't require much more from him than following directions, which thanks to Bat-training plus all his overseas training, he could do blindfolded.

The procedures and tests were minimally invasive. Thankfully for Kon they only needed to use a needle to draw blood once, and with Cassie's hand to squeeze it went about as smoothly as it could. They were all found to be dangerously dehydrated, but they'd let Kon drink some science boosted hydration packs instead of him getting hooked up to an IV. Kon seemed relieved at that, even as he glared at the IVs in the rest of their arms.

He glared at Tim's just as much as the others. He didn't know what to do with that, with the fact that Kon still so very obviously cared about him even though he didn't trust him. Tim didn't know what to do with the fact that he still cared about Kon so much even as he was heartbroken and betrayed either though, so maybe that was just par for the course.

He didn't know how long they were at STAR Labs, he thought it might've been a day, or maybe a little less than that. Eventually they were all cleared to be released though.

Once they were outside the building Superboy said his goodbyes. He hugged each of the girls. Tim made no move to hug him when Superboy turned to him, Kon didn't try going in for a hug either. Instead he only nodded when Superboy murmured a 'goodbye, Rob.' with something in his voice that Tim couldn't name, or maybe he could've but he was too tired now to try. Then Superboy was flying off, probably back to their hotel in Pennsylvania, and it was all moot anyway.

Cassie didn't give him the option, instead throwing her arms around him tightly and squeezing hard. His hands stayed at his sides. Cassie gave him a wrecked look when she pulled back, and Cissie was looking at him like she couldn't decide if she also wanted to try hugging him or if she wanted to smack him.

He took a step back, towards where Batman was looming in the shadows behind him, and Cissie seemed to understand the signal that he needed to be left the fuck alone right now because he couldn't possibly handle anything else.

"C'mon, our moms are waiting for us." Cissie said, grabbing Cassie's hand and pulling her back towards where Wonder Woman was standing.

"Yes, I have communicated with them both and they are waiting for me to bring you to them." Wonder Woman agreed, "Be well, young Robin." She added with a nod in his direction before glancing up at Batman, "I have said it already, but I feel it best to repeat it given the recent circumstances. You will take care of this one. I will not be held back so easily if history repeats itself."

Batman simply nodded sharply in response, then Wonder Woman was flying away with Cassie carrying Cissie in tow.

Tim figured the 'recent circumstances' in question was his time in the war and on Apokolips. She may have also been reading too far into him having punched Batman. Whatever, he didn't really care right now, he didn't have the energy to play Bruce's emotional regulator anyway.

He was going to ride back to Gotham with Batman, preferably in silence, hopefully getting some more sleep. Then he'd take the world's greatest shower after taking a shit spaceship shower and then being poked and prodded in a medical facility all day. Then, he'd go the fuck home, ideally to his parents who he could hug, and if they weren't home then he'd book himself the soonest plane ticket to wherever they were excavating whatever ancient stuff and get his hug there. Then he'd... well, Tim wasn't really sure what he'd do after that, likely have to deal with all his real world problems, but whatever, those were problems for after he saw his parents again.

He followed Batman to the Batmobile, climbed into the backseat and laid out across it as best he could. He heard Batman climb into the driver's seat and the car rumble to life. Then he felt something settle over him like a blanket, it took him a moment to recognize it as Batman's cape.

He grunted quietly, not quite sure if it was an acknowledgment or a thanks, but it was the first sound he'd made in hours and even the small noise felt raw against his throat and like too much.

He heard Bruce's voice say, "Sleep." And then he did.

————————————

It was dark when Tim woke up. Not nighttime dark though, but blackout curtain dark. It took him a few seconds longer than he would've liked to place himself at the manor in one of the guest rooms.

It was nice, the bed was comfortable and warm while the air was a pleasant sort of cool, and the blackout curtains made the room plenty dark enough even if he could see the fainted shimmer of sunlight past them that told him it wasn't actually nighttime. It would've been so easy to just fall back asleep, and he almost did before he remembered that this wasn't where he was supposed to be or what he was meant to be doing.

He rubbed the heels of his palms into his eye sockets hard enough that it hurt a bit and groaned when all the soreness kicked in as he attempted to roll out of bed. He had to just lay there for a second before he could manage the willpower to push through the pain to get up.

He managed it eventually, he was so tired on top of the pain. He hated that he was so tired after both sleeping on the ship and then sleeping for however many hours it'd been since they'd left STAR Labs.

He crept out of the guest room quietly, more habit than anything else guiding his movements. He wandered the manor, trying to find either Bruce or Alfred to say thanks for letting him crash but he needed to get home now. He wondered what lie they'd told his parents about his absence. What lie had convinced his parents that his several week long absence made sense?

It ended up being Dick who spotted him wandering the halls while he watched TV.

"Baby bird!" Dick exclaimed, and Tim whipped his head to see Dick hopping off the couch to come towards him. "I came as soon as B said you popped back up! You have no idea how worried I was when I heard you went missing!"

Tim was somehow surprised when Dick scooped him right up into his arms and held him there with a tight squeeze, even though getting one of Dick's patented hugs had obviously been an inevitability in hindsight. Hesitantly, he wrapped his own arms around Dick's neck in return and buried his face against Dick's shoulder. He heard Dick coo at him and squeeze him tighter, the slight patronization normally would've made Tim let go on account of his pride, but the hug felt so good and Tim was just so tired.

It ended eventually, Dick pulling back even as he kept his hands on Tim's shoulders and looked him over. Tim very graciously didn't roll his eyes.

"I'm fine." He informed Dick, "It was only, like, a day for me anyway and I didn't get banged up too bad."

"That's good." Dick nodded, squeezing his shoulder even as he pursed his lips, "I'm glad you're ok."

Tim nodded, "I'm glad you're ok too. Do you know if Cass, Steph, and Babs are...?"

Dick nodded immediately and emphatically, "Yeah they're all ok! Cass is gonna be in town again soon cause she wants to see you and Steph will probably be over as soon as she hears we found you, I think Babs will come over too whenever you're ready to see her."

He wasn't really sure what 'ready to see her' meant. It's not like he'd suffer seeing her now or anything, but he let it go. Before he worried about seeing other Bats or Bat-adjacents he needed to see his mom and dad.

"Yeah, that'll be nice to see all of them, but it'll have to be later." He told Dick, "Do you mind letting Alfred and B know I left, and that I probably won't be back as Robin for a little while."

Dick's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Uh, where are you trying to run off to kid?"

"Well, I mean, the war is over right? And I- I know it's silly but I'd really like to see my parents again. Let them know I'm ok and everything. I don't know what you guys told them about me being gone for so long, but I-"

"Tim." Dick cut him off sharply, a stricken look on his face that Tim didn't understand, he gulped before asking, "You haven't spoken to Bruce yet have you?"

"Uh, no." Tim shrugged, "That's why I asked you to let him know I'm leaving."