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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-06-27
Completed:
2025-08-05
Words:
460
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
3
Kudos:
43
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1
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375

The light of the moon will always slip through your fingers

Summary:

The proxy is like the moon for you.

And you are satisfied with looking from afar, right?

Notes:

This is the first fic that I've ever posted so I'm very sorry for the mess.

P.S. English is not my native language so I'm very sorry if there are any mistakes on my grammar.

Update: there is now a second chapter so I would like to say that there is no order for this thing, it's just random stuff that I wrote and then had to put somewhere.

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

The proxy has always looked like the moon, you think: beautiful, ethereal and far, far away.

He has the kind of beauty that you appreciate from a distance, maybe through a window or from the back of a party. You never touch him, never hold him and you never tell him that you love him, that you dream of him, of kissing him under the moonlight, of dancing the night away by his side, of holding his bags while you walk around Lumina Square, of rejecting all of the love letters because you already belong to someone else and of doing every other little thing that lovers do because you are not that, because you can never be that.

If the proxy is the moon then you must be a black hole. You are not built for loving others, not any more. You are not even sure if you are built for loving yourself.

And the proxy deserves better than that. He deserves someone he can lean on, someone who'll always be there even when times are tough, and you swear that you can be that, and you beg and you plead to yourself that you would be that, but how can you be so sure that you'll be there for him when you couldn't be there for them? When you let them die in that hollow.

The proxy deserves better you think.

And you can't be that.

Can't you?

Chapter 2: When I dream I don't dream of heaven

Summary:

I will burn in your arms.

Don't cry for me when that happens (I don't deserve it).

Notes:

This was not supposed to happen. I was not supposed to write anymore but here we are. Help. Ayuda

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

And when the sun rises I look at you and think: what have I done to deserve this? Which god has looked upon me and decided to grant me this blesing?

The way the sun slips through the window and into your frame, covering you in a warm and soft golden light. You -I think- are what dreams are made of. And you snores, and your laughter, are the songs that plays in heaven.

I have not earn this. I can't earn this. My hands are bloodied and covered in filth. One day you will burn me and it will not be your fault. It's just the fate that awaits the fool who dared to touch the sun. But I don't care, because it's worth it, because everything about you is worth it. I am just a lowly sinner whose fate was to die after a final battle -alone, cold, leaving behind only a name that would be remember but not spoken- but then you hold me, and you said my name with a warmth that I've never felt before. And now I am desined to burn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wished that you could have met them, they would have adored you and you deserve to have more people (to have a world) that adores you. Maybe that's what heaven is.

Notes:

I just realized that before I compared the proxy with the moon and now with the sun. I wonder what the next one will be.