Work Text:
Trucy and her mother stood side by side on stage. Her gloved hand was entwined with her mother’s, silk against silk, and she looked up at her, beaming with admiration.
Her mother’s cape fell gracefully around her shoulders, their matching emblems gleaming under the stage lights. Her soft hair had been woven into its usual braids, although her bangs seemed to be hanging lower, obscuring her eyes. Then again, it might have been a trick of the light, since the shadows where her eyes should have been were especially pronounced.
Trucy squeezed her mother’s hand. The empty room was admittedly a little eerie, but her mother’s presence was all she needed to be content. Still, she squinted as she tried to make out her mother’s features, which stayed stubbornly concealed as she kneeled in front of Trucy, taking both her hands this time.
Trucy’s mother whispered something, but it was as if she was speaking underwater. Trucy strained her ears, trying without success to discern individual words. She frowned.
Her mother rose to her feet again and let go of Trucy’s hands. Trucy tried to grab her hands again, but her mother turned before she could reach her, walking away into the shadows of the wings.
Trucy yelped, but no noise came out. Chasing after her mother proved to be a fruitless endeavor. No matter how much she ran, she was unable to move from the same spot on the stage. The shadows that her mother had disappeared into were inky black, and the only sign that someone had been there was a foreboding trail of dark red liquid which began to trickle onto the stage.
Losing hope, Trucy glanced around desperately, only to spot a large figure in her peripheral vision. Sure enough, she turned around to see her daddy standing proud in front of her, the cape dangling from his large frame identical in color to her own.
Nearly weeping at the familiar face, she darted forward to embrace him, but he walked away as well, his face marred with the same shadows as her mother. In frustration, she bounded forward with all her strength, but he disappeared into the wing without a care.
Trucy fell to her knees, limp with despair. The shadows contorted around her, filling her vision until all she could see was void, completely and utterly alone.
Trucy jolted upward, gasping. She immediately slapped her hands over her mouth, quieting herself with practiced precision. Years of nightmares and a fear of worrying her daddy had given her sharp reflexes.
Still, she wasn’t perfect. She breathed heavily, chest heaving. She put all her energy into keeping her breaths as quiet as possible, but they only became more erratic, causing her to become dizzy.
Her unfocused eyes darted around the small hotel room, staring at the bed next to hers. Apollo was facing away from her, his chest rising and falling steadily beneath the covers. He was still asleep.
This exact scenario had been her fear—not that she could say anything in advance, since doing anything to prevent it would have required coming clean about her nightmares in the first place, which was exactly what she was so afraid of. Other than that, she had been more than happy to go with Apollo to the conference, even down to sharing a hotel room. By now he was like a brother to her, and the whole trip had felt like a family vacation, even with the absence of her daddy.
Now, Trucy could hardly think. She pulled the covers off as delicately as possible, cringing at the deafening crumple of fabric in the quiet night. Swinging to the side of the bed, she sank to the ground. Her intention had been to sneak into the bathroom, or out the door, or to anywhere where she could be alone while she rode this out, but the idea of moving even an inch seemed impossible.
Dread tethered her to the carpeted floor, her body heavy and burdensome. She pressed her knees to her chest, tucking her chin beneath them and clawing at her head with her hands.
Her breath quickened ever faster, her heart thundering in her chest painfully. Panic and grief surged through her veins, flooding her with pure emotion.
Her head was filled with her mother and father’s shadowed, uncaring faces, and even if there had been any hope of quieting her more conscious ruminations, the rest of her was overwhelmed with uncontrollable anxiety, cornered in her own mind like a prey animal. Hot tears spilled out of the corners of her eyes, streaking down her face as she hyperventilated.
“Trucy?”
Trucy froze. Her breath halted in her throat, her abused lungs screaming for air.
Sheets shifted behind her. With the click of a switch, the lamp turned on. Its yellow light did little to light up the dim room, but it was a spotlight nonetheless, blazing down on her as if she was being interrogated.
Trucy stayed motionless, unable to hold back a few choked sobs and many more shaky, shallow gasps.
“Truce? You okay?” Apollo sounded worried. Trucy hated it. She hated herself.
“I’m fine,” Trucy said with every bit of effort she had left, her voice shaking.
In the corner of her vision, she saw Apollo approach, walking around her bed and standing next to her. She forced herself to look over at him, unable to meet his gaze. She could just make out the faded GYAXA logo on his shirt in the low light.
Apollo crouched down, his brow furrowed in concern. Trucy curled in on herself. She shrank back further as Apollo took a seat next to her, leaning against the bed with a small space between them.
“It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” Trucy was accustomed to Apollo’s prized chords of steel. She had never heard him speak so softly. “Can you try to breathe with me?”
Trucy looked at him, her movements staggered and unsteady. Her breathing remained rapid, panic tightening in her chest. Apollo reassured her, “You can do this. Take your time. Just try your best, okay?” He inhaled deeply and exaggeratedly, leaning back, then sagged back down as he exhaled.
Trucy did her best to copy him, although the best she could manage was a series of slightly less rapid staccato breaths. Apollo nodded encouragingly, continuing to breathe with her and murmur small words of comfort in between.
With agonizing difficulty, Trucy’s breathing gradually slowed until it nearly matched Apollo’s. Her heart still ached and the tension hadn’t left her body, but the fog cleared from her head.
Unfortunately, that left room for memories of her dream to come barreling back in, as well as the shame of letting Apollo see her like this. Horrible tears pricked at her eyes. She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared at the floor.
Apollo’s gaze hadn’t left her, and the concern on his face was unchanged. After a moment, he asked, “Can I touch you?” Trucy gave a tiny nod, and he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
The two sat in silence. Trucy’s throat burned, raw from hyperventilating and forcing tears down. Despite her attempts, they continued to stream down her cheeks, although she refused to make any noise.
“Do you…wanna talk about it?” Apollo squeezed her shoulder. Trucy shook her head. “Alright. That’s okay.” Apollo exhaled sharply. “You know, I get nightmares too, sometimes.”
Still curled up, Trucy lifted her head just enough to look over at Apollo. He continued, “It sucks. I’m sorry you have to go through it.” He faced Trucy with a genuine expression. “If you don’t want me to be here, I understand, but I promise I won’t judge.”
Trucy did want him to be here. That was the worst part. Through all her shame at her own weakness, she couldn’t help but long for a friend. It tugged at her, jumpstarting her tears tenfold as she surged forward and clung onto Apollo like a lifeline. He tensed in surprise for a brief moment before returning the embrace.
Trucy sobbed into Apollo’s shoulder, all attempts at maintaining her composure gone. Apollo rubbed small circles into her back. Trucy tried her hardest to replace the intruding memories with the warmth of the hug, tightening her grip.
Losing all track of time, Trucy’s sobs faded away, her breathing steadying completely this time. She loosened the hug, although she kept her arms around Apollo for a moment longer before pulling away. He did the same.
Trucy sniffed and pawed at her face, clumsily wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Polly,” she whispered, her voice finally even enough to speak, although not without a significant rasp.
“Hey, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault,” Apollo said, frowning.
Trucy put her arms around her knees, tilting her head towards the floor. “I don’t…I can handle bad dreams. It’s not usually an issue. I…” she trailed off.
Apollo still looked concerned. “That doesn’t mean you have to deal with it alone.”
Trucy took a long breath. She had already gone this far. With her will weakened by sleep deprivation and emotion, she mumbled under her breath, “I miss my mom.”
Her voice would have been inaudible anywhere except in such a silent room. Apollo’s eyes widened. He didn’t respond, instead nodding encouragingly.
“I dream about her and my daddy,” Trucy continued. She almost wondered if this was a dream. Would her lucid self ever be this open?
The possibility gnawed at her, unbearable images of Apollo retreating into the darkness and leaving her in solitude flashing in her mind. She swallowed thickly. “I—I know it wasn’t their fault, but they left me, and—and what if Daddy—what if you and everyone else leave me too…”
Arms wrapped around Trucy once more. Surprised, she stopped spiraling. She rested her hands on Apollo’s back.
He pulled away after a moment, putting his hands on her shoulders. His eyes were shiny with the beginnings of tears. “Truce…I’ll never leave you, I promise. No matter what.” He smiled weakly. “Neither will Mr. Wright, or anyone else. We care about you. You know that, right?”
Trucy tried to speak, but the words caught in her throat, her only response a hesitant nod.
Apollo rubbed his eyes. “Sorry, it’s probably not very helpful if I’m crying too,” he said with a laugh. “I just hate to think that you feel that way. We’re not going anywhere—you can perceive me, that’s the truth,” he promised.
No response felt right, but Trucy finally managed to whisper a simple, “Thank you.”
The two sat in the quiet of the early morning for a while longer, Trucy leaning on Apollo’s shoulder. Her own shoulders began to relax and she found herself able to focus on the world around her for the first time since she had woken up.
Streetlights shone in the distance, the occasional car rumbling by on the nearby road. The carpet was soft beneath her. Exhaustion replaced tension and her eyelids drooped.
Everything grew hazy, but at some point, Trucy climbed back into her bed. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillows. Her dreams were mercifully uneventful.