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" Introducing the autobot group chat! " -wheeljack

Summary:

In which i felt there wasn't enough transformers themed group chat fics so screw it why not write my own ???
And yes personal headcannons will be prevalent here
Sorry not everybody who will be in this fic will be in tags, that'll take ages

Chapter Text

Wheeljack has invited optimus, ironhide, prowl, and 40+ other com signals to the chat

 

Wheeljack: hey guys!! Guuueesss wwwhhhaaaattt ??

 

Ironhide: what in the same hill is this wheeljack?

 

Bumblebee: yeah?! Why a group chat of all things??

 

Wheeljack: welp im glad you bots asked!! I realised that open coms might be susceptible to Hacking and or signal hijacking! So while this is a bit more primitive it gives us some added security when we need to converse!

 

Optimus prime: a well thought out idea wheeljack

 

Wheeljack: thanks prime! See atleast SOMEBODY gets it!!!

 

Prowl: ... you just did this because the twins wouldn't stop nagging you about it didn't you

 

Wheeljack: ... yes

 

Sideswipe: YOU SNITCH!!!

 

sunstreaker: now how are we meant to have fun?!

 

Wheeljack: what do you want me to do!? LIE TO PROWL!? EVEN OVER TEXT THATS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

 

sideswipe: ah! ... thats actually a fair point

 

Air-raid: pfftt i bet you couldn't even lie to prowl using sign language!!

 

Optimus: wheeljack

 

Sideswipe: ...

 

Sunstreaker: ...

 

Bumblebee: ...

 

Prowl: ... 

 

Ironhide: ...

 

Silverbolt: ...

 

??? : damn didn't even know optimus could get angry at his subordinates like that 

 

Slingshot: wait who are you!?

 

??? : ... scrap

 

unknown number has changed their name to " thundercracker "

 

Cliffjumper: DECEPTICON!!!!!!!

 

thundercracker: ... double scrap

 

thundercracker has logged off

 

Prowl: wheeljack!

 

Grimlock: him papa bot in trouble

 

Optimus: ...

 

Wheeljack: ... when i die all my things go to swoop

 

Swoop: YES!

Chapter Text

Prowl: so.wheeljack are you going to explain WHY there's a decepticon in this AUTOBOT group chat????

 

Wheeljack: uuuummm uuuhhh 

 

thundercracker has logged on

 

Thundercracker: you are aware I haven't been with the cons for like the past earth month right ???

 

Cliffjumper: DECEPTICON!!!!

 

Thundercracker: EX decepticon! Sheesh and you wonder why the others thought you lot were annoying at times

 

Prowl: that still doesn't explain WHY YOUR HERE!!!

 

Thundercracker: your guess is as good as mine being honest but hey I ain't complaining

 

Air-raid: tch yeah right probably so you could go back to megadork and tell him our secrets!

 

Thundercracker: okay 1. I'd give that name a solid 6/10

2. Like I said EX con

3. I have a dog

 

Fireflight: say what?!

 

Slingshot: oh now you've started him!

 

Thundercracker has sent 1 image. A picture of him holding a tiny dog up to his face. Him smiling as the dog licks him

 

Fireflight: OMP THEYRE SO CUTE!!!!! NAME!?

 

Thundercracker: her name is buster and she's the best thing to ever happen to me!!!!

 

Fireflight: I wanna pet her so bad!!!!!!!!!

 

Optimus: alright thundercracker can stay

 

Thundercracker: thanks??

 

Optimus: but as for the OTHER thing i must talk to you about, why did you give the airealbots access to this chat room?.?.?

 

Slingshot: but optimus!!!! Why not!?!?!

 

Optimus: I just dont want you 5 exposed to anything to serve or concerning

 

Sideswipe: pft optimus living up to the name papa prime right there

 

Sunstreaker: DUDE!!!!

 

Sideswipe: what?? .... ooohhhh

 

Skydive: huh??

 

Fireflight: wait isn't a papa another word for a dad???

 

Skydive: yes it is ... oh

 

Silverbolt: uummm well this is awkward

 

Wheeljack: agreed 

 

ratchet has logged on

 

Ratchet: WHAT IN THE BLAZES IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?! MY COMLINKS BEEN BUZZING ALL MORNING!!!!

 

Swoop: hi dad bot!!!

 

Ratchet: hey swoop

 

Wheeljack: heh I can explain ???

 

Sideswipe: anybody just gloss over the fact swoop and grimlock have called Ratchet and wheejacj they're dads yet when it optimus we all go silent ??

 

Sunstreaker: yep

 

Bumblebee: yep

 

Cliffjumper: yep

 

Thundercracker: yeah

 

Optimus: ...

 

Sunstreaker: SO YOU AINT DENYING IT!!! HAH!!! SMOKESCREEN OWES ME 50 SHANIX!!!

 

Smokescreen SCRAP!!!

 

sunstreaker: eheheehehe

 

Smokescreen: uummn double or nothing???

 

Sunstreaker: on what!? Just pay the 50 like a decent loser~ >:3

 

Ironhide: what the scrap are you young bots even doing now???

 

Sideswipe: what the matter :> dont like these??

 

Smokescreen: yeah X3 I dont see the problem here

 

Optimus: ( ̄ー ̄)

 

Smokescreen: ...

 

Sideswipe: ...

 

Sunstreaker: ...

 

Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Smokescreen have logged off

 

Bumblebee: ... d did did that just happen!?

 

Swoop: HOW!? 

 

Optimus: I have no idea what your talking about ( ゚ー゚)

 

Cliffjumper: ... we're in the end times

 

Slingshot: PPFFFTTTAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FUCKING SCORE!!!!

 

Optimus: Slingshot your grounded for a week

 

Slingshot: FUCK!!!

 

Optimus: two weeks

 

jazz has logged on

 

Jazz: heyo what'up my guys!!!

Oh ... eheheh seems those lessons payed of did they prime ??? 😏😏😏

 

Bumblebee: THAT WAS YOU!?

 

Jazz: me and Skydive! O.P can now emote like the rest of us!

 

Optimus: I'll admit i do not fully understand the meaning behind such methods of communication but if it means talk between autobots will be more familiar then I suppose it isn't so bad

 

Bumblebee: well ... rhat hasn't made me utterly terrified

 

Thundercracker: agreed

Chapter Text

Thundercracker: @optimus come pick up your kid

thundercracker has sent an image, its fireflight lieing down in field with buster licking his face, fireflight has a big dopey smile on his face

 

Silverbolt: SO THATS WHERE HE WENT?! 

 

Optimus: how did fireflight find you?

 

Thundercracker: uugghhh i agreed to let him come see buster and now he refuses to leave

 

fireflight has logged on

 

Fireflight: DAD CAN WE GET A DOG PLEASE?!?!?!?! OR ANY PET?! I WANT ONE !!!

 

Sideswipe: ... I should be used to thus but for some reason I ain't

 

Cliffjumper: wdym ?

 

Sunstreaker: optimus actually being called a Dad, its just bizarre ... I think? Idk im confused

 

Swoop: oh! Hey dad papa! If they get a pet can we have one to?! 

 

Ratchet: swoop im sorry but no

 

Wheeljack: yyeeaaahhh sorry bud 

 

Swoop: but why?! 

 

Ratchet: 1. your brothers, 2. Your all bigger then optimus, 3. I feel you'd all forget to feed it ... well you won't but the others might

 

Grimlock: me grimlock won't! Also WE NOT GETTING CAT!!!

 

sunstreaker: uuuuuhhhhh

 

Sideswipe: SWOOP CAN SPEAK NORMALLY?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Swoop: uuugghhh its a programming misfire issue, my vocaliser has problems translating thoughts into actual words

 

Ironhide: well ... now ice seen everthang 

 

Cliffjumper: well this chat just derailed

 

Thundercracker: oh primus

 

Cliffjumper: what?!

 

Thundercracker: do you have ANY IDEA HOW MANY TRAIN PUNS IVE HAD TO DEAL WITH?!?!?! WE ONLY HAVE 1 BOT WHO TURNS INTO A TRAIN! YOU GUYS HAVE LIKE 2 TEAMS!!!

 

Optimus: im sorry fireflight but you cannot have a pet 

 

Fireflight: 🥺🥺🥺

 

Optimus: sparkling eyes will not work on me

 

Fireflight: dang it!! 

 

Optimus: also thundercracker I shall come pick him up, where would you like to meet? 

 

Thundercracker: we can meet in idaho

 

Optimus: understood, ill leave now

 

Users optimus, thundercracker, fireflight have logged off

 

Sideswipe: .... you know what we gotta do right?? >:3 

 

Sunstreaker: oh yeah :>

 

Ratchet: DONT YOU SLAGGING DARE!!!

 

Sideswipe: TRY AND STOP US!! AHAHAHAHAH

 

User Ratchet has logged off

 

Bumblebee: RiP the twins, they will not be missed

 

Sideswipe: oh yeah what's that-

 

User Sideswipe has logged off

 

Sunstreaker: ... tracks you get my polish

 

User sunstreaker has logged off

 

Tracks: oh my! Dont worry my friend i shall use it well