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It’s the same thing as falling asleep. Close your eyes, everything becomes dark, except that daylight can no longer be seen. Even if it’s been a while since Gi Hun doesn’t care about whether he will wake up or not the next day. He has spent the last few years planning what he thought would appease the guilt he feels but in vain. All those hours thinking about what he could do or say to save the maximum number of people, human lives, so that in the end he is a finalist, once again, heaps of corpses weighing on his conscience.
He kept none of his promises, whether it was to return to his daughter, avenge the unnecessary deaths, or take care of those who remain. All his thoughts return to Sang Woo’s mother and Sae Byeok’s brother who find themselves alone, to Ali’s wife and child who have no idea what happened to this brave young man. Gi Hun thinks of the baby he saved, a baby who will find herself without parents, moving through life without family constantly wondering what happened to her parents. Just like his own daughter, who had to grow up with an absent father because he is so useless that he cannot achieve anything and makes the same mistakes again and again.
He wanted to believe in humanity and he trusted, he allowed himself to be naively believed that he had a chance to make things work better. Even worse, he let himself go to revenge, his mind drifted to hatred and the instinct for survival. As with Dae Ho, this young man who joined him and Jung Bae from the second game, with his friendly enthusiasm. He didn’t know him, not enough to not believe after all these betrayals that he was only terrified, that all the horrible things that Dae Ho told him were only the words of a frightened boy.
They all fell one after the other: Hyun Ju, Young Sik, Geum Ja... Poor woman, she killed her own child and once again Gi Hun wonders: could he possibly have prevented her suicide? But what’s the point? Why stay alive? He would never give up as long as he knows there is the possibility to save someone. However, the question remains suspended in his mind: what is the usefulness of surviving?
There is no one left. All the beings to whom he attached himself during these games are dead. He had put all his energy into motivating Jun Hee, this young mother who deserved more than anything to get out and discover the joys of being parents. Geumja said it: the world is unfair so Jun Hee is dead, sacrificing herself. Her child taking her place as a player and automatically sealing her victory for Gi Hun. He understood that it was the end, and that no matter the means, this child would survive. Until the very end he fought body and soul, doing his best to save even a single life.
Then he wrapped the baby in her mother’s jacket and laid her on the one with number 456. After all, he would no longer need it. The players no longer exist, they are human beings with names and not numbers. His name is Seong Gi Hun and he is nothing but a cheapskate drinking beers with his friends and picking up his daughter from school. That’s what he says to himself as he lets himself fall into the void.
When he regains consciousness, he immediately understands that he is no longer on this Infernal Island. He no longer feels the smell of death, nor the sensation of his own blood flowing out of his body. Everything is softer, like during a July awakening, the sun dazzling the eyes and warming the skin. A floral scent fills the air. His fingers move and he feels like he’s touching grass, how would that be possible? He is afraid to open his eyes and realize that everything is an illusion. But he does it anyway. The first thing he sees is the sky, blue and cloudless, so clear and perfect. Then he hears buzzing sounds as if someone were walking and chatting not far from him, he sits down softly and his heart triple in volume.
He can see human beings, alive, breathing. He doesn’t know where he is. Is he dreaming? Is he dead? He observes the faces of people who are a few meters from him and his heart faints when he recognizes the young man with the bowl cut. number 125. Gi Hun hates himself for remembering him just at this detail. He is chatting with a girl his age, short hair and percings... It seems that she was in the games too. He turns his gaze and his heart speeds up again in a heartbeat because everyone around him happens to be former players. He recognizes the couple from the game years ago, the woman had not survived and her husband had joined her a few hours later. From afar he sees the woman who took the other idiot during the glass plate game. One to one, the faces he sees send him flashbacks. He stands up, staggering. If all the dead players are there, does that mean that-
He doesn’t have time to finish his thought that he feels a weight being thrown on him, a small figure surrounds him with het arms and Gi Hun can hear her sniffing. The young woman raises her head and Gi Hun recognizes Jun Hee’s soft eyes. He can’t believe but she is there, in the flesh, hugging him as if he were an old friend.
" - Mr. Seong you are there! I... Thank you! Thank you for saving my daughter !"
She gets lost in her thanks, babbling and crying and faster than his mind, Gi Hun’s body reacts and he gently strokes Jun Hee’s hair, just like he did with his daughter.
If Gi Hun dreams, he never wants to wake up.
If he is dead, then so be it.
"- You’ve always wanted to prove to others that you could be a hero."
This voice. Jung Bae. Gi Hun raises his head and yes, his friend is there. His best friend observes him with a smile on his lips and tears flow over his cheeks before he realizes it. He can feel Jun Hee detaching from him. By instinct, he looks in which direction she is going and Gi Hun’s heart wonders if he will still be able to withstand the shock when he sees that she joins Hyun Ju. Not far from them is the mother-son duo who do not let go each other.
He turns his gaze to Jung Bae, who stepped gently towards him.
"- Sorry I couldn’t have taken this drink with you."
The pressure drops suddenly. Gi Hun cries, laughs, he doesn’t really know. All he knows is that his best friend is hugging him and everyone around him is breathing.
He would like to say something, that he is sorry, that he feels responsible and could have done better but nothing comes out. He is content to cling to his friend’s body.
He just doesn’t realize.
No longer like a flash, a thought crosses his mind. If Jung Bae, Jun Hee and the other players are present, also those from the first games. Maybe that...
"- Thank you for to have taken care of my brother."
Behind Jung Bae, there is a ghost - or rather Gi Hun feels like it's one. Sae Byeok is facing him, the one to whom he made his very first promise. The first one he swore to protect. And failed. She seems to be perfectly fine and Gi Hun cannot help but draw a parallel between now and the last time he saw her, taken into these boxes serving as coffins.
Once again no word comes out and if Jung Bae didn’t hold him, he would have collapsed to the ground. Sae Byeok’s smile becomes snide and without wasting time she says to him:
- if seeing me makes you like this, wait to see the others. Ali and Sangwoo are already fighting over who will come to meet you next.
And for once for years Gi Hun is not afraid, he is not cold. His sadness collapsed like snow in the sun and relief filled him like a pool in the middle of August.
Maybe he finally has the right to rest.