Work Text:
It was supposed to be a harmless Red Bull content bit.
A game of wearing celebrity face masks and asking questions to guess your identity. Fun, low-stakes, cute team bonding, easy fan content.
It was harmless.
Until Max Verstappen - four-time world champion, self-declared grump, professional banter machine - asked,
“Am I ugly or beautiful?”
Yuki, his teammate, wearing a Sebastian Vettel mask on his face, replied, “You are beautiful.”
Max answers in full conviction, “George Russell.”
Like. Immediately.
The crowd screamed. One of the marketing interns wheezed. Yuki’s jaw dropped. Somewhere off-set, someone knocked over a lighting rig from laughing too hard.
And behind the curtain, watching on a monitor, George Russell blinked really fast.
***
The video hit Instagram thirty seconds later.
Charles Leclerc watched it three times. Wordlessly. Then once more in slow motion.
He sat perfectly still, like a Victorian wife finding out her husband was cheating via telegram.
Lewis, sipping green juice, looked up. “What’s up?”
“He said George,” Charles whispered.
Lewis frowned. “What?”
“Max asked if he was beautiful and guessed George Russell. GEORGE RUSSELL. Without hesitation. Like it was obvious. Like - like its common knowledge.”
Lewis blinked. “Okay...?”
Charles stood. “I am going to qualify like I’ve never qualified before.”
“Because he called George beautiful?”
“Because he called GEORGE freaking RUSSELL beautiful on Austrian soil. OUR holy ground.”
“Well… George is pretty.”
Charles gasped. “Get out.”
***
Qualifying - Red Bull Ring
The Red Bull Ring was painted orange, but the Red Bull pace… was not. Max was fighting his car every corner, fuming on the radio, the grip vanishing like his faith in setup changes.
Lando Norris was untouchable. Smooth, clinical, terrifyingly fast. He took pole like it owed him rent.
But Charles? Charles was driving with spite. Every corner, every shift, every throttle input screamed: “GEORGE. RUSSELL. REALLY?”
He snatched P2.
Oscar Piastri followed closely in P3, looking fast but not happy.
Lewis? P4. Smooth. Smiling. But also pretending he didn’t hear Charles muttering something in French about betrayal and cheekbones.
Max?
P7.
The Red Bull had no grip. He sounded like a man doing taxes over team radio. Liam Lawson outqualified him. Liam. Lawson.
Max climbed out of the car and ripped off his gloves like they were a hate crime.
To Max Verstappen, it was a personal tragedy.
To Charles Leclerc, it was divine retribution.
***
Charles stepped into the interview pen looking like he was about to slap someone with a velvet glove.
“Charles! P2! After a not-so-good quali in Canada, how happy are you with that amazing lap?”
He gave the camera a cold, bitter smile.
“I’m… pleased.”
Sky Sports immediately cut to Max, who looked like he wanted to delete Austria 2025 Quali from the calendar (not the full weekend like 2019, a man could hope.)
***
Later, somewhere in the paddock
Charles sat like a king returning from war. Helmet off. Hair perfect. Rage contained behind a glint of smugness.
Max trudged in behind Fernando, muttering under his breath.
“P7, huh?” Charles said, voice silky.
Max glared. “The car was undriveable. Everything gone. Tires sliding. Setup’s off.”
Charles leaned forward. “Or maybe you were just… distracted.”
Max froze. “Don’t.”
Charles narrowed his eyes. “You said George was beautiful.”
Max resigned. “It was a content video!”
“You didn’t even guess me.”
“I didn’t know it was you under the mask!”
“YOU COULD HAVE SAID ME ANYWAY!”
“I wasn’t - look, it was a game! Yuki said I was beautiful, and George is the default pretty guy. That’s a compliment to George, not an insult to you!”
“Oh, so now I’m the insult?!”
“Charlie -”
“You two can legally adopt Kimi Antonelli now. The internet already calls you his divorced parents.”
Max pondered on that thought, “Hmm…I could get weekends.”
Charles brought his hand to his mouth. “EXCUSE ME - ?”
George appeared out of nowhere, sighing, “I didn’t sign up for this.”
Lando’s head peeked through the door, “Can I be the godfather?”
Charles kicked George out of the room and closed the door.
“Charles, schatje, I didn’t mean to -”
“Don’t call me that.”
“But -”
“No. Not until you say I’M more beautiful than George.”
“Charles…”
“You said George like it was obvious!”
“I said it because it’s a mask game, Charles. He has symmetrical features!”
“Oh my God.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“You’re being emotionally unfaithful.”
Max stared. “Okay, now you’re being dramatic.”
Charles gasped. “DRAMATIC? After everything we’ve been through in Austria?! After 2022? After 2019?!!!!!”
Max sighs. “You’re beautiful. Devastatingly beautiful. Like, I’ll crash out of turn 4 just to see you win beautiful.”
Charles squints. “Are you being sarcastic?”
Max shrugs. “Probably.”
***
[Twitter/X]:
@F1TeaSpill:
charles saying "pleased" like he’s about to sabotage max’s brake settings 💀💀💀
@f1tteaaaa reply to @F1TeaSpill:
more like w the energy of a man watching his ex move on with a finance bro named George William Russell
#f1 #austriagp2025quali #lestappen
@F1GossipHub:
Verstappen confidently calling George Russell beautiful while wearing a face mask and Charles retaliating with raw pace is EXACTLY why I watch this sport. PEAK television.
#F1 #AustriaGP2025
@mercedesmemes:
George Russell is simultaneously beautiful and in the middle of someone else’s relationship.
Again.
@gridgirls4life:
osc in p3 watching his two dads bicker while george sits in p5 wondering how he got dragged into this
#f1 #austriagp2025quali #lestappen
***
Later - Ferrari Hospitality
Charles sat with a blanket around his shoulders like a Victorian ghost.
Max found him outside, sipping tea.
“Charles.”
“You didn’t even hesitate. ‘George Russell,’ you said. Like you’d dreamed it.”
“It was a stupid game.”
“I will never recover from this.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I’m being accurate. You shattered my self-esteem before quali, and now I have to do a race next to Lando's rocketship and with your new crush in mind?”
“No.”
“Say I'm more beautiful than him or I’m giving Oscar the PlayStation back.”
“YOU WOULDN’T.”
“I WOULD.”
Max stared. “You’re lucky I’m starting P7. I don’t have the energy to deal with your psychodrama right now. Especially with GP not being here.”
Charles stared. “What even is your obsession with older men?”
Max sighed. “You’re more beautiful than George Russell.”
“Say it in Dutch.”
“Jij bent mooier dan George Russell.”
A pause.
“Objectively or emotionally?” Charles pushed.
"Do you really want me to answer that question?"
"Yeah no - don't."
Max stepped in closer, taking Charles' hand in his, his thumb tracing the silver band on Charles' ring finger that said: Max.
"I love you, Charlie. You are - and will always be the most beautiful soul to tread this planet Earth. And in all spheres where live exists. Where we exist."
Charles sniffed. “Do you mean that?”
“I do.”
Charles smiled. “Okay. You’re forgiven.”
Oscar walked past. “Can't you guys stop being this silly? You two are literally married.”
Charles stood. “Oscar, you are this close to being disowned.”