Archive of Our Own ^beta

*

Singto woke up with a jerk.

The digital clock in his line of sight read '7:53'. Just seven minutes before his alarm went off for the day. He winced internally, rolling onto the bed and rubbing his hand on his face a little harshly.

But he didn't and as Singto got into the elevator, it only crawled under his skin.

*

"You think you deserve anything after showing me this paper, huh?!"

The cruel but true words of his grandmother echoed in his ears as he slowly scrubbed the pots and pans he used to make breakfast with.

To this day, he remembered how stunned he was when his grandmother had yelled that to his face with an expression he'd never seen on her face before.

With anger in her eyes that he didn't know she was capable of.

His mouth could only hang open in response.

Krist had brought back the test result, or what it was called as 'presenting', from their local clinic on the way back from the school and apparently he had presented as an omega.

He didn't really care at first when he had seen the paper himself or was just too busy thinking about homework or his grandmother's mood before getting back home- he couldn't remember now- but it was one of either things.

But standing there, shrinking into himself with each passing second, and his grandmother who had proceeded to cuss his entire being out, Krist knew what he was wasn't a very nice thing to let his grandmother know.

"You runt! Raising you is already costing me so much and now- and now, I will have to give up my reputation too?! The reputation I spent years carving! Now it's all going to crumble just because you're going to start spreading your legs for any alpha that comes your way!

"Do you think I have money to spend on your useless and expensive expenditures of scenticizers or- or heat suppressants?!"

His sixteen year old self couldn't even understand what she was rambling as she had squatted right there, wailing,

"Oh God! Wasn't it enough that his father dumped him on me after meeting his second mate when I should be enjoying my days of retirement that he is now an omega too?!"

Actual tears had flown out from her eyes as Krist watched standing right there in his steps, frozen. Maybe his grandfather had witnessed this from somewhere Krist couldn't see because up until he left for university, he pretended like he stopped existing in their home.

Before this, his grandmother used to just mumble things under her breath after he used to do something wrong in her eyes or something not in the way that she didn't prefer, going just as far as scrunching up her face but never more.

But the evening of the eighteenth of November, everything had shifted in what he used to call his home.

Every day was a new battleground,

"With that face and body of yours, no alpha is going to marry you."

His grandmother used to say whenever she would pass by him while he was either dressing up to go out with friends, which was rare in itself, or just sitting silently with a straight face.

"What are you studying so hard for? Omegas don't go to school after eighteen."

She would taunt whenever he would try to study in a communal place in the house.

"Maybe I shouldn't have forced your father into marrying your mother, at least I wouldn't be burdened with raising a child in my late sixties."

She would say this all so casually, sometimes even without her eyebrows knitted together in dismay. And all Krist would do was just spare a glance and go back to his work as if nothing happened.

He tried once, talking to her about it, about how he didn't like it when she called him a burden, but she exploded calling him every name under the sun until he was left scarred on the heart and mind.

He cried himself to sleep most nights after that.

And if he got caught crying, he was scolded until he was left in tears again, except this time he had to swallow them.

It came to a point where he just... Became numb...

Stopped feeling any and everything.

His grandmother only exploited that, she made him all the chores in the house; it started from cooking, Krist used to cut his fingers yet his eyes used to be dry and his face devoid of any emotion, even when the oozing red blood flowed non stop.

He would calmly put it under the hem of his shirt and apply pressure until it stopped bleeding and would resume his work, despite the stinging in his finger.

His grandmother would always berate the food he made; too dry, too watery, the chicken is tough, the vegetables are too crunchy, the beef is dry since it wasn't cooked with extra oil or tallow, the pork is not crispy enough and the list could go on and on like this.

Then came the second chore, washing clothes, he used to wash clothes with hand with a detergent bar. Every individual cloth, he rubbed the bar on and then rubbed it gently together before dunking into the tub of water next to him, squeezing out the water and then dunking it in the blue water made for whitening and brightening clothes, letting it sit for a few seconds before taking it out and squeezing again before repeating the process with clear water and then keeping it aside to hang later.

If he didn't wake up extra early on Sunday, then the clothes wouldn't be dry in time and he would have to get up early on a Monday just to iron his uniform.

Then came the task he found so disgusting, cleaning the toilets. His grandmother used to heartlessly make him clean everything. He had a weird phobia from drains that he couldn't process but at the same time he knew he wasn't allowed to plead or beg.

But maybe from his face his grandmother picked it up because she would make him clean the drains harder than anything, make him lift it and make him look into the hole that made him feel like it would swallow him,

That made him feel like vomiting, that made him want to cry and run at the same time.

He knew he was crazy for feeling that awful for just a drain but he couldn't help it.

His insides would clench from disgust and discomfort as his grandmother would make him clean those too, often times with bare hands, as Krist would hold back his tears and vomit,

The nasty, grouchy wet feeling of hair, cockroach and what not.

He became so paranoid afterwards cleaning it that washing his hands till his elbows from a simple soap bar wasn't enough, that taking a bath or four wasn't enough,

So much so that he had started to secretly shower with the detergent bar, rubbing exceptionally well on his fingers and palms that went into the drains.

After that, Krist realized that he was capable of feeling something; fear, paranoia, anxiety, insomnia and nightmares, if he happened to fall asleep accidentally.

It took a whole year for Krist to desensitize himself from the fear, paranoia, anxiety and insomnia, that became occasional, for it to reabsorb into him as he became numb all over again.

His appetite had more than died by the time he turned seventeen. He used to eat once every three days, and not with feeling queasy.

Then his last year in his grandparents house, it was drilled and drilled and drilled in his head,

"Once you step into the real world, these wolves won't even let you breathe. One moment you've stepped out without your scent blockers rubbed on you and you're raped, murdered and organ's harvested from you or either kidnapped and bred to give babies to alpha or even beta families.

"You keep studying despite me telling you the reality but once you enter the university you're preparing so hard for, you will know what I am talking about. People will come to you, to use you and then to blame you. Something tells me you will end up in a brothel, your baby face will be cherished by visitors so much. "

"It is a possibility that you may find 'love' and get married, even have kids, but at the end of the day, you'll realize that the person you love the most only married you because it was either convenient for him or he was pressured into it. That the kids you kept in your womb and raised with love and care, will not turn back once they are out of your arms, will despise you with all their might because their excuse of a father would be a male omega and nothing more."

Krist's back hurt from standing for so long as he halted mid-way, scrubbing the last dish.

On the inside, he was groaning and frowning but on the outside, he stayed indifferent. As he forced himself to rinse the last dish and set it aside, he walked back to the couch.

Settling himself down slowly as he grabbed tightly onto the cushiony armrest. His hand automatically rested on top of his growing belly as he disassociated once again.

His grandmother turned out to be right after all.

Krist caressed his belly, feeling movement underneath that until yesterday made him feel all jumpy but now...

He felt empty.

He gazed down at it, knowing somewhere deep inside that the baby he carried didn't deserve such a parent, someone who stopped feeling, let alone feeling a connection with them.

He looked out of the window then, the sight of other apartment complexes of different heights caught his attention. Singto had been doing nothing but tolerated him all these years.

Now what should he do? Where should he go? Should he go somewhere after all or stay back and give birth to a baby that would most probably be unloved by their alpha father?

Krist's mind raced with all these thoughts.

He needed to devise a plan to somehow dispose of this baby once it arrived into this world, that way, there would be no responsibility at all on Singto and he would be able to enjoy his life while this child might probably find a family that chose him first.

As for Krist... He was a maid before marriage and would be one after marriage too, as long as Singto wanted him around, he would faithfully serve him.

*

Singto never noticed the change that followed after.

His co-workers combined forces with his university and school friends and threw him a big birthday bash in a bar renowned for offering prostitution services.

Krist was on the couch when Singto had approached him one hour after taking a half day because of both; he needed to reach the party early and Krist would probably need to be pacified.

Singto never noticed the distant look in his eyes as Krist had sat there, the remote control loosely strung between his fingers, "Kit?" The omega had snapped out of it, turning his attention entirely at his alpha as he sat upright a bit more,

Adrenaline coursing through his veins already and just before his thoughts could start racing, Singto spoke, "I..."

Krist blinked, waiting for him to speak as he had mentally started to pack his stuff, "I have somewhere to be tonight."

Oh...

Krist just blinked again, his upright posture slowly sagging back, "Okay." Singto almost did a double take because never did the omega let Singto go around so easily.

Never.

He used to literally interrogate him with questions like where was he going and how long would he take to come back.

But a simple 'okay' from Krist made Singto feel a bit anxious as he said opened his mouth carefully, "Are you sure, Krist?"

The omega who had gazed back at the TV, met the alpha's eyes again, the act he had perfected under the reign of his grandmother coming in handy as he flashed the practiced smile and nodded convincingly enough, "Um, you deserve it."

Singto had almost started to celebrate right there but he controlled himself, smiling brightly like the sun himself as Krist had watched him bloom, feeling absolutely nothing inside yet keeping that practiced grin on his lips.

The alpha had then leaned in and kissed the omega, "Thank you, Krist, you're the most amazing husband one could ever ask for."

Singto had let their eye contact prevail long enough to let the moment sink in before he had gotten up and dashed away to go get ready as the smile came off of Krist's face just as the alpha was out of eye shot.

"You're the most amazing husband one could ever ask for."

The words echoed in his ears as his gaze traveled to the spot where Singto was just sitting, the words just never went down to his heart or the gaze that locked him in long enough to make him feel butterflies that never came.

A memory of his grandmother crossed his mind then, she was sitting on the rocking chair as Krist had sat on the floor, practicing his fruit carving skills,

"When your father was young," He had momentarily stopped to focus on what she was saying, to properly absorb it, "And your grandfather couldn't be bothered with anything at all, he used to give me the most charming, the cheekiest compliments ever to slip away without having to return home with a wife that awaited his arrival to swat his butt. It worked on me at first but it wasn't long before I saw right through his act."

Maybe there was a tinge of sadness in her voice, he still wondered but her next words came slashing as he had resumed his practice,

"You're going to get treated way worse than this if you don't start acting all proper. I know you're going to that damned university anyways so take my advice and please don't throw yourself on any alphas there, like your mother did with my son, those poor alpha's deserve better than you and this family's name and dignity is the last thing I have that I can actually call mine so please, don't ruin this for me."

She was right, she was right all along. Singto was probably a saint if not more because at least he still let him live in the place that was owned by the alpha, let him use his debit card to pay for groceries and other such amenities and didn't say shit to him that he'd seen his father say to his mother when he was young.

The faint sound of water running in the background brought him back as he forced himself to get up despite his body aching from the chores he did in the afternoon. He dragged himself to the bedroom as he opened the closet and picked out the suit he knew Singto loved the most, yet he still went over to the bathroom door,

Fear crept up in his chest as his fist stopped mid-air, he hesitated to knock. What if Singto finally snapped? Saying that Krist was trying to make decisions for him?

Krist was looking anywhere but the bathroom door, blinking rapidly out of growing anxiety as he kept swallowing emptily. He was just about to walk away, when the bathroom door clicked open and he met Singto's eyes accidentally, anxiety clenching his heart as Krist just froze in his tracks.

But then Singto's face sprouted into a much wider grin as he came out of the bathroom, taking the suit from his hands, "You know me so well, Kit." He said softly, with honey dripping from his tone as Krist forced the smile on his face. Singto turned and was walking back to the bathroom when,

"Should I pick out your shoes?" Krist had asked in a wary tone as Singto had half acknowledged him, preoccupied with his excitement for the party just nodding and humming before the bathroom door clicked shut in his face.

The pit in Krist's stomach finally dissolved as the omega picked out the shoes that Singto always wore with the said outfit and he cleaned it just a bit more so that his image among his peers wasn't affected.

He laid out the socks and the tool to let the heel slide in on the bed before he quietly exited the room, closing the door behind him.

As Krist walked towards the couch again, something told him that if not today then one day, Singto would surely snap at him or kick him out,

Or both...

*

By the time he was able to refocus on the guests, they were gone. Krist pushed the door with enough force that it swung close as he tried to even out his breathing by keeping his nose as far as possible from his husband while dragging him to the bedroom.

This is my life now.

Krist's inner thoughts said to him just as he had read the bedroom and opened its door. He felt like a military man, who was woken up in the darkest hour and was made to run around the ground carrying the heaviest bag on his shoulders and heaviest primary gun in his arms as he somehow got Singto onto the bed,

Thankfully Krist had a little experience in handling situations like this because Singto had gotten wasted like this before. He changed his clothes with the utmost difficulty, taking a little more than fifteen or twenty minutes as he kept the suit aside, he would get it dry cleaned tomorrow first thing in the morning.

Then the shoes he had removed first thing after getting him on the bed, he grabbed it and put it in the rack box to preserve them from dust and then threw the socks in the dirty clothes basket. Krist had somehow gotten the pajamas up on Singto but left his torso bare, as he grabbed a bowl with warm water and a hand towel.

Krist was dozing off himself as he sat beside Singto, gently rubbing his body with the wet yet warm hand towel, pushing through the slumber. Then he got the shirt on him while doing a full workout of pulling and pushing the man to drag down the shirt on him.

The omega was exhausted by the time he walked out with the bowl and hand towel, cleaning the bowl and hanging the hand towel to dry on the stove's handle before he had dragged himself back to the sofa and settled down but not before setting an alarm for the morning.

Singto would need something to cure his hangover so he should get up early to prepare that.

The alpha slept through the entire morning and past three pm until he finally woke up with a killing headache. He didn't open his eyes at first, the room felt too bright and it only contributed to the pain as he massaged his temples. After a long ten minutes and a wave of nausea that hit him, he finally opened his eyes slowly that had now adjusted to the lighting, finding the curtains drawn over the window so less light came through.

He groaned forcing himself up, his eyes closing again for a short while before he looked at the side corner, a glass of water sat for him there along with painkillers. He sighed in relief as he quickly popped two tablets and downed the entire glass of water. Letting it settle in, the pain was still there mostly but Singto got enough strength to get up and go to the loo.

The headache seemed to ease as he freshened up, finally exiting the bedroom as he found Krist sitting on the sofa,

Singto winced mentally.

Krist was surely going to be mad at him.

After all, Singto didn't remember when he did come back but he surely remembered getting wasted before blacking out.

Wait, he blacked out?

Singto looked down at himself, only realizing now that he was in his night suit as frown he was trying to hold back came out a little on his face. He quietly tried to go back inside the room but darn his luck that Krist got up and caught sight of him just then,

"How are you feeling?" Krist's question, carrying the calculated amount of empathy yet distance, totally flew over Singto's head that knew he was going to get chewed out as he stuttered out, "Okay... I guess."

Krist nodded, Singto watched from his peripheral vision as he walked towards the table and pulled out a chair, "Sit, I'll bring some food to ease your hangover." Krist said calmly, his voice holding just a certain amount of love that only made Singto question things now,

Was this the calm before the storm? Singto couldn't understand as he eyed Krist, while walking up and taking the seat, who did what he said. He served a warm bowl of porridge, cut a century egg in it and seasoned it a little before he brought it out and placed it in front of Singto, who glanced at the bowl and then at Krist's moving back as the latter went back to grab a glass of water.

Singto was nervous as hell, the sound of the water filling the glass tumbler came too loud in his head, asking before he realized, "When did I come home last night?" Krist looked up momentarily while placing the bottle back in the fridge,

"I didn't look at the time but it was very late."

Singto internally winced again, Krist was most definitely mad at him, wasn't he?

The alpha didn't get to think much as the omega placed the water beside the bowl before prompting back to the sofa, the TV running in a low volume. Singto didn't start eating until he glanced back at least thrice, expecting some kind of a meltdown at any moment,

But it never came.

In slight fear, Singto had eaten his meal, despite the atmosphere of the house, the staple food felt amazing today, maybe because of how hard the hangover hit him with dehydration and the headache that a simple delight felt so fulfilling to him.

He wanted more so he glanced back once, catching Krist invested in the TV, he slowly got up but darn his luck that the chair creaked. Singto pressed his eyes shut momentarily, cursing himself in his head as Krist appeared in his line of sight just as he opened his eyes,

"Do you want more?" Singto just nodded, preoccupied about getting chewed out that he overlooked the distant look in Krist's eyes. The omega gently took the bowl from the alpha's hands as Singto sat back down.

And as Singto watched, his concern grew deeper Krist pulled out a whole new bowl from the same bowl set and made another bowl in it. What was going on with him? He never served him seconds in a new bowl.

Singto emptily swallowed, watching Krist make the bowl the same way, add a new spoon to it and walk back out. Singto couldn't help but observe more deeply now as Krist took the almost empty glass and came back with a new filled one.

And as Singto ate in silence he did the dishes and brewed some hot beverage. By now, the alpha was making a speech in his head about apologizing to Krist about last night.

Krist, I'm sorry-

No, that didn't feel right.

Kit, my love-

That sounded too cheesy to begin with.

Kit, about last night-

Singto was stunned, almost flinched when he noticed Krist's hand reaching for yet another empty bowl of porridge as he looked up shoving his franticness back. Krist didn't meet his eyes as Singto followed his hands again to find a cup of hot cappuccino sitting in front of him, the bowl and glass cleared once again.

The alpha just stared at it for the longest moment before he eventually put his finger in the handle. Warily he scanned the room again. Krist wasn't in the kitchen anymore. He slowly turned, looking over his shoulder, Krist was settled on the sofa, watching TV again the volume still set on low.

It was at this moment that Singto just accepted his fate and finished the cappuccino, this time getting up with much more agility, preventing the chair from creaking.

He took the cup and set it beside the empty sink. Then circling back to the sofa and settling down beside Krist, unable to meet his eyes, the speech he prepared in his head long lost as he scrambled for words to begin a conversation with it.

Licking his lips, the frustration on his mind grew as he opened his mouth yet his lower lip trembled with silence.

"Kit?" It came out before he realized as he bit the inner of his lip, pressing his eyes shut again for the nth time. Once again, Singto was so preoccupied in his thoughts that he didn't acknowledge the lack of response from the omega's end.

"I... Have to talk to you... About last night... I- I didn't mean to," Singto sighed, "I didn't mean to make you wait or anything last night- we all got carried..." Singto trailed off as he dared to look at Krist, his mouth hanging slightly open at the realization.

The omega had dozed off in a stiff position, his lips slightly opened and his head tilted forwards just a little. The round tip of his nose looked cute as Singto melted a little on the inside, pursing his lips into a small grin.

Krist's hands were wrapped respectfully on his lap, as he was on standby or something but Singto just shook his head and got up to pick Krist up and take him to bed,

Just as Singto slipped his hands under Krist's knees and the back of his neck, Krist jolted awake while Singto backed a little, his hands still on the omega, to see what was going on but Krist glanced at him and then away so quick that the alpha didn't get a chance to meet eyes,

"You okay there?" Singto asked, his voice holding the tinge of worry, Krist just nodded his head, then picked up the remote control and handed it to Singto who took it rather confused.

The alpha settled back on the couch, changing the channels as he could feel the tension in the air again. The omega only shrunk more in his position,

"Are you mad at me?" Singto asked just as Krist was about to doze off again. The omega turned to him, once again looking away before the alpha could at him, "Why would I be mad?" He spoke in the tiniest voice,

"I came home very late last night and probably wasted." Singto kept his gaze at Krist from his peripheral vision as the omega shook his head, "It's no big deal, you only ask for one day in a year."

And Singto was confused again, the words felt comforting enough to liberate him from his worries but at the same time the flat intonation they were spoken in, made him feel more like a warning,

"Are you sure?" Singto asked in the same wary tone as before, Krist nodded. Silence took over then, the couple silently watched the show that was running.

But Singto wasn't really focused on it, he knew Krist was mad and wasn't trying to make it obvious, it only meant one thing,

That he needed to go above and beyond.

*

Honestly, Singto was baffled at first, because during their university days, this trick would always work on Krist, even their nastiest fights the omega would forget when Singto would appear under the balcony of his condo with a bouquet of flowers.

They would instantly go back to the lovey-dovey couple they were but now, all Singto saw in the name of result to his efforts was Krist sitting on the sofa, shrunk in his own way and just staring at the TV while sometimes caressing his belly.

And that was when an idea came to his head.

Baby shopping.

The nursery was yet to be set up, from the color of the walls to the furniture and amenities, everything remained undone, maybe just for this exact moment things hadn't been done.

So when Singto walked in on the third time of finding the vase empty on the dining table, the alpha just turned to the omega, "Krist?" The omega turned his head a bit too quickly, almost as if he flinched but Singto brushed it off.

"Yes? Uh... You hungry?" He blinked and spoke too quickly, some thoughts or feelings rising in the back of the alpha's head but dying as soon as he spoke, "You want to go shopping?"

That caught Krist off guard as his lips moved but now words came out, his eyes frantically darted around the room, "No..." He spoke in a wary yet normal tone, "I- I brought groceries." He smiled nervously and nodded once again a little too quickly, about to turn around again when Singto chuckled,

"No," Krist just sat there, staring at the alpha in silence, his heart beating hard against his chest.

So had the time finally come? Singto was going to abandon him? But- but Krist was doing everything he could-

"I meant baby shopping." Krist blinked, his lips took a few long moments to part but were still unable to say anything as he just gave a curt nod. "Okay," Singto said almost satisfied, "I'll wait for you while you get ready."

Krist was scared. Out of his wits scared.

As he changed into his going out clothes, specifically an outfit that was baggy to hide his growing belly but looked presentable enough. He was even scared from looking at his own reflection in the mirror while he combed his hair. He was out in just fifteen minutes, walking soundlessly as he headed to fetch a glass of water.

In the process of doing so, Krist's mind raced, one part of him knew that his alpha was a nice and kind person, that he would never hurt anyone intentionally,

But at the same time, everyday, on repeat, he would find himself wandering off into the what-ifs.

What if one day when the salt wasn't right in the food and Singto snapped?

What if he spilled a beverage and Singto snapped?

What if he spoke too much or breathed too loud and Singto snapped?

What would he do then?

Krist came to his senses as he walked into the living room, "Here," He offered the glass of water to Singto who looked up and at sight of it smiled, "Thanks." He drank it in one go as the omega stood there to collect the glass.

The omega had put his hand out for Singto to hand him back but the alpha instead set it on the coffee table and said, "Let's go, otherwise we won't be able to reach before nightfall."

Singto got up and walked towards the door as Krist quickly collected his tote bag and wore his shoes, hurrying after Singto not wanting to make him wait. The elevator ride to the in-building parking lot and then the car ride to the shopping mall was quiet, only the sound of traffic existing around them and someone else's car tape playing music.

The omega had disassociated until he found himself walking into the vibrant that gave him chills. He swallowed internally, knowing he neither was invited here nor did he belong here.

People around him talked and laughed amongst themselves, as he closely followed his husband mostly keeping his eyes on the floor.

In doing so, the omega didn't realize where the alpha was taking him until he stopped and so did Krist. First looking up at his head as he turned around to face him with a smile before he looked around, his lips pursing while he just blinked,

Right...

The store around him was filled with onesies, baby booties, feeding bottles, baby blankets and even breast pumps. The walls were painted a sky blue with pictures of animated baby animals plastered here and there.

"Pick whatever you want," Maybe there was a slight cockiness in Singto's tone or maybe it was financial security that his grandparents never gave him but regardless, it didn't matter.

Singto walked off to scroll through the items and Krist followed suit, although on another aisle, instinctively a hand went up to his belly as he dared to touch a very onesie,

But there was nothing...

He felt nothing but emptiness in a place where he thought it would be filled with giddiness, hope and dreams for his new baby.

Then he dared to look at the price, one thing he never stopped doing since he left his father's home,

฿3050

Krist retracted his hand from the onesie, just blinking at the cute cloud pattern of it before he moved on from it, just walking around the store staring at items and then at their prices, comparing in his head how one item is worth someone's one month grocery haul.

He felt nostalgic, he used to do this whenever he went to the mall quietly, just staring at plushies and teddy bears and then at their prices, occasionally touching them, feeling their soft touch and going home, trying to fall asleep while recalling the soft texture of the toys he touched that day.

Turned out, he still was stuck in the past, being the same person all over again.

"Did you find anything?" Singto chimed as Krist glanced at him, missing the few onesies and baby booties in his hand, before he turned to the dolls that sat on the shelf and then shook his head.

He walked out of the store, leaving Singto standing there confused, his smile faltering and an ache in his chest which he felt was his ego hurt because his efforts yet again were overlooked.

But he inhaled and exhaled, bought the items he picked and marched on because Singto wasn't going to give up this easily.

Next stop where he took Krist was the furniture store, rather a home decor, he asked the sales person to show them options for nursery if available, which surprisingly was.

Singto made small talk with the sales person looking through the numerous examples of nursery options, glancing at Krist from time to time, finding him absorbed.

Internally, a grin came over his lips, this would definitely make Krist melt over.

"Let's say we select this option, how many days will it take for your team to redecorate the desired room into this aquatic themed nursery?"

"It depends on what package you select from our options, if you select the premium package, which contains painting the room and-or painting murals on the walls, then it will take us five days to a week but if you select the normal package, it will take us three days at max."

Singto nodded, turned to Krist whose back was turned to him, "Kit?" The omega was startled as he turned around, "Yes?" He spoke in the same almost wary tone which was now starting to get on the alpha's nerves.

"Which package do you want to pick?" The omega looked around cautiously before asking in a small voice, "What package? Do you- do you want duvets from here?" Krist tried to come off as politely as possible but it took all of Singto to not to click his tongue right there and scold him,

"I'm talking about the nursery," Singto watched carefully as momentary relief came over the omega's features before the look in his eyes changed, "Whatever you select will be the best." Singto just pressed his lips, something deep settling over his chest as the rehearsed line left the omega's mouth.

The alpha just stood there as the omega then cautiously examined around, walking carefully to the exit, the bag of baby clothes dangled from his hand which he had taken prior to entering the store.

Just... Just why was Krist acting like this? Singto couldn't understand...

The evening progressed to dinner on a sour note for Singto as they were eating in the food court and Krist was just really pretending to do so with the somtum he'd eventually settled on after much thought,

The alpha had almost lost his patience in public.

But nevertheless some strings of his heart were pulled so tight he thought it might just rip apart.

"Let's go home, you must be tired."

*

Singto gave it one last try.

After the failed 'date' he took the omega out on, Singto tried the thing which he knew Krist would be able to resist.

His handsome alpha in the kitchen.

The routine was as usual when Singto came back home early the very next evening with a few items,

Krist sitting on the sofa, his legs wrapped under him while he tried to occupy as little space as possible to him, either completely zoned out or immersed in the TV show that was coming on.

Singto just got to work immediately after setting his work bag aside. There was a pasta recipe with Thai spices twist to it that Singto came up with during his university days.

Krist actually loved it very much and Singto used to cook it often for him until they got married. The alpha immediately laid out his work on the counter and started by putting up a pot filled with water on the stove on medium flame and splashed some cooking oil into it and salt before ripping open the chicken breast's seal, cutting and then marinating it until his ancestors asked him to stop.

He set the chicken aside in a bowl then as he searched the vegetable basket and the fridge for the appropriate veggies such as tomatoes, carrot and broccoli, basically whatever he could lay his hands on.

Soon enough he had roughly chopped vegetables which he was sauteing in a fry pan with some boujee oil he bought just for this meal. And then, he went on and blended the soft, sauteed vegetables into a puree. Afterwards, he put the noodles in it and saw the exact minute as he set up a colander in the sink.

And then he put a skillet on the burner next to the pot, once again drizzled the expensive oil and cooked the chicken in batches, giving him time to drain the noodles before he gave it a nice and thorough cold water bath in the sink. Lastly, in the same skillet he cooked the chicken in, he poured the pureed vegetables in,

Once they came to a boil, he poured some water in it and then added the noodles. He set out two plates and placed the noodles with a swirl in the middle before he equally showered them with the cooked chicken.

One efficient thing Singto found about himself was that he cleaned as he cooked, so the kitchen wasn't a big mess by the time he ended up his cooking session.

The alpha was satisfied with himself and with the clean work he'd done to present, he picked up the two plates with love and whipped around only to meet his omega's glossy gaze, his expressions holding a mix of panic and sadness.

Singto somewhat froze at Krist's reaction to him cooking, scrambling for words in his head, something which came out the exact way he intended to say,

But before the alpha could conjure something, the omega's quiet words only pulled the strings tighter, feeling the valves of his heart ripping now,

"Do I... Do I not cook well?"

Krist's tone was quiet, yes, but he could feel it wasn't just about self doubt, it was something much deeper than he could see. Singto set the plates down and walked out of the kitchen, meeting eyes with the omega again and finding the panic in his eyes rose as if he'd somehow make a mistake by simply existing,

"Kit," He called lovingly to ease his panic, "We need to talk, hm?" He approached him carefully as Krist still looked like he committed the greatest sin, Singto pulled the chair out and then gently touched Krist's arm who thankfully didn't flinch.

Singto helped Krist take a seat before he settled down right beside him, trying to meet his eyes but the omega looked everywhere than at him as the alpha spoke calmly,

"Krist, I am not mad at you,"

Those words made Krist freeze in his seat,

"But I won't lie, I have been feeling very frustrated with you acting this way,"

"I'm sorry,"

Singto hadn't expected it but the small apology made him even more frustrated,

"I'll do better, I promise."

The omega said all while his gaze never raised from the table as the alpha pressed shut his eyes, inhaling and exhaling, before he spoke, gentler than he began with,

"It's not about that, Kit, I just want us to live a happy life together, hm? I can't stand to see you like this."

The omega nodded, his gaze still on the table. Singto sighed, the conversation he never thought that would actually come their way happened and it went better than he expected.

Or should he still expect Krist to sulk longer?

"I made my special pasta for us," The alpha somewhat smiled announcing it as he got up without even asking the omega if he was hungry or anything else and served it dearly. Krist watched him then as Singto brought the forks and spoons and set it down beside both the plates in European style,

The alpha darted back into the kitchen, fetching a bottle of cold water and two glass tumblers, placing those in the right hand reach, the alpha poured water in them before he settled down himself, shining bright like a bulb, looking expectantly at Krist, who slowly took the utensils,

The omega should have known better than to act lethargic all this time. He could hear his grandmother in the back of his head clicking her tongue and shaking her head in disappointment,

Omegas aren't supposed to make their alphas feel burdened.

Her voice echoed in his head as he twirled the noodles in the spoon.

No hardship broke on you, yet you are still depressed like your life ended and even if it did, you could put a better mask on your face rather than making your alpha husband uncomfortable all this while. What a shame of a grandson you are.

He took a bite and chewed it for a short while before he turned to his husband and smiled as if guests arrived right after Krist finished the dreadful task of cleaning the drains.

"It's amazing, tastes the same even after all those years."

Singto's grin widened, the alpha looked genuinely happy, relieved of his frustrations as he started eating himself, moaning when the pasta hit his taste palette. Krist ate and ate, forcing every bite down his throat, on a closing up stomach.

It was time he perfected his act already and stopped being a damn nuisance to people around him.

*

Singto saw that the conversation between them, which he initially dreaded to happen, brought a positive change in his life.

Krist started smiling more, complying with him more, greeted him with a kiss when he came back from work. It was as if everything had been perfected back to how it was. The omega seemed to lean into him more, cuddle on the sofa and even have sex.

Singto wouldn't lie, he found Krist's growing belly to be incredibly attractive. The omega was even comfortable with the alpha sleeping with an arm draped around him, something which he wasn't able to do since the start of pregnancy.

The charade ran for exactly six days before an invite to a work party arrived on a short notice.

Singto had announced to Krist casually on a Tuesday evening, "Kit, my boss has thrown an anniversary bash for his twenty-seventh wedding anniversary and he has practically invited all of the office,"

Krist had simply nodded, asking, "When do we need to go?" Singto wrapped his hand around the glass tumbler, barely glancing at Krist as he lifted it, "Tomorrow evening, we need to leave at six."

With that being said, Singto had downed the glass of water and had gotten up, grabbing his jacket while saying over his shoulder, "I'm going to get my hair trimmed, will be back soon."

And left.

Letting his almost twenty-seven weeks pregnant husband alone in the house, with a load of dishes to wash.

The mask finally dropped as Krist gazed down at his quarter empty plate. He just sat there, blinking at it, not feeling really hungry.

It took a while, a long one, but finally, Krist set his spoon down. Eventually convincing himself, as his grandmother's voice echoed somewhere in his head, her words were incoherent but her tone struck sharp,

Disappointed.

She always was.

With him and with his every effort he did to please her.

But Krist was glad, as he slowly got and stacked the plates on to each other, that he perfected his act and prevented his husband from disliking him and despising him.

With an aching back, Krist carried the dishes back to the kitchen, packing the remaining food on his plate in a disposable box and putting it in the fridge before packing the food in the dishes into tupperware and proceeding to wash everything.

Pots and pans, the dishes and serving spoons, the plates and utensils. It took an exhausting long while before Krist was actually finished with just doing the dishes. He cleaned around a bit more just as his grandmother trained him.

For every little rice or sauce drop on the table, he cleaned the table with a rag. For every counter that didn't shine enough, he wet the rag again and cleaned the slabs.

His hands smelled of detergent bar by the end of it because he washed the rag with it, before finally hanging it on to the stove handle and hiding the bar in the sink cabinet.

He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to just sleep but he made a detour to the bathroom, washing his hands with a lemon soap bar twice before drying them off thoroughly and applying shea butter lotion, which he actually hated, till his elbows before he finally made it to the bed.

Even if he wasn't sleepy, he would just pretend to sleep, that was easier than wearing this mask all day everyday.

Krist woke up with a jolt the next morning, feeling like he was about to fall off the bed. He looked around the bright enough room to see Singto literally sprawled across the bed. Krist found a place to put his hand down in order to push himself up as he realized that he, indeed, was going to fall off the bed- right on his hip and tailbone if not for his alert instincts waking him up.

But Krist was used to this, Singto always took up more space in their bed. Even before marriage whenever they would be at each other's condos spending the night, Singto would take up most of the space.

The only difference was that Krist would be able to drape himself over him then but with his big belly, it was impossible now.

Krist just headed to the bathroom, his routine life following as usual as he prepared himself to put the mask back on while he freshened up.

Singto only came out of the bedroom once Krist had finished preparing breakfast as the alpha pecked his cheeks and the omega, as if on cue, responded with a content exhale and a pursed yet wide grin, "Good morning," Krist said first as Singto smiled against his cheek.

"It indeed is a good morning," Singto wrapped his hands around Krist's swollen belly as pain stung the omega's heart, the alpha's cruel words almost making it back to echo in his ears but he pushed them back by wrapping his hand over Singto's and returning the peck with the same sincerity, his act going on flawlessly.

"What will you wear tonight?" Singto asked as he positioned himself to Krist's left as the omega served the breakfast. "The beige maternity sweater I bought," Krist looked in Singto's eyes, his eyes filled with convincing enough love,

"To go with your maroon three piece that suits you in the best way possible," Singto just smiled, "You know me so well, my love." The alpha pressed another kiss to his cheek before going to sit down at the table as Krist took his cue to serve the breakfast.

Singto just rambled about how tonight's event was going to make a very good impact on his boss, he might even select Singto to refer to the higher-ups to give his position once he retired three years later and so on.

Krist couldn't keep up really.

Kept zoning out but kept his smile fluctuating steadily, making it seem like he's giving his alpha all the attention in the whole world.

It was a daze, carrying Singto's bag and coat to the front door for the seventh day in a row- his back already aching again. But he pulled himself together, helping Singto with his coat and then handing his bag with yet another convincing smile.

The alpha kissed the tip of his nose, "See you tonight." Before the door eventually clicked shut in his face. Krist exhaled, left standing there again, with his loneliness, which he called solitude to comfort himself, his thoughts and his back pain.

The baby moved in his belly but a hand didn't creep up despite it being an instinct for him before Singto's birthday. Every single thing made him want to caress his belly before but now...

All he could think of was how his child deserved better parents than them.

Krist turned and walked up to the bedroom, despite his aching back he took out Singto's suit and shirt and laid it out for him before he went to shower himself.

He thoroughly cleaned himself, applied creams and underarm deodorants before finally walking to the closet and dressing himself in a nightie for the day.

He took his phone with him before he collapsed on the sofa, setting an alarm for four-thirty if he dozed off and turned on the TV.

The evening arrived much quicker than Krist actually liked because his eyes shot open as the alarm started from a fade. He was wide awake at the exact moment. Krist then proceeded to go to the bathroom, he washed his face and reapplied the creams, this time with much more care before he went to dress himself.

When he saw himself in the mirror, the trouser made his thighs look huge when they were actually flowy as Krist walked, letting air in and the beige sweater, which looked so cute on his eighteen week belly suddenly made him look like he had put a bowling ball inside.

Krist felt hideous, ugly, huge.

But he put a brave face for Singto's sake, for his image as he went to put on makeup. He put an appropriate amount of setting powder on his face, wore the maroon lipstick light, Singto had gifted him before their marriage, and combed his hair to part just a little from the corner.

He looked... Appropriate, maybe even presentable? But at least he didn't look like the wannabe feminine male omegas which the society despised or the try-hard masculine male omegas,

He was just somewhere... In between, balancing. He looked beautiful enough to compliment Singto while still able to remain in his shadow.

The sound of the lock clicking open echoed as Krist got up and came to the bedroom's door, only to find Singto rushing in. Krist quickly took a side as Singto barely greeted him and ran to bathe. Krist in the meanwhile prepared a glass of water and changed the towel to a crisp one from the earlier barely dried one.

It was chaos in itself as Krist helped Singto get ready after he basically snatched the glass from the omega's hand while he brought him and drank it, before shoving it back into his hands while exclaiming, "Help me, hurry up, I don't have time!"

Krist only rushed, barely getting the time to place the tumbler on his side corner before he helped Singto with his skincare, then helping him dress and then with his hair as Krist straightened it while Singto did a little makeup to uplift his already good looks.

He looked like a prince by the end of it at the expense of Krist's disheveled look. "Where's my shoes?" Singto spun in his seat, with questioning eyes,

"I- I thought that you would love to pair the shoes with your fit yourself." Singto's eyes shone, "You're right," He laughed as if Krist had cracked the code for him. Singto wandered back to the shoe rack as Krist took the moment to refresh his look and hair, his purse already prepared,

By the time Krist got up from there, Singto was proudly walking back with a pair of off white shoes. Before Krist could react, Singto kneeled before him as the omega panicked, "You'll crease your suit."

"Come on, it's only going to take a minute." Krist sealed his lips, could he even fight it? He let Singto do whatever he wanted, his mask slipping briefly, trying to feel something- anything for Singto, even sadness or hatred...

Singto gazed up as Krist seamlessly transitioned back into his act, smiling and mouthing, "Thank you," The alpha just grinned back, waving him off before the couple proceeded to leave for the event.

Krist had to keep his thoughts at bay all while they were getting to the car and then to the party, time slipped from his hands like sand, realizing only when they were in front of the mansion that they had arrived.

Singto got down from the car, his cool demeanor intact as he gave the keys to the valet and proceeded to help Krist step out, before the car was taken away for the night.

Krist already felt fancy, as he watched how the lights illuminated the place in a dreamy effect as if he was walking to a movie premiere as a celebrity.

People from high society dressed in brand names, greeting and cackling among themselves already as they climbed the stairs as guards stood with a two stairs gap.

And inside was even more extravagant than Krist had ever imagined in his whole life, like a fairy tale that was stolen from him during his parents' divorce.

*

Singto couldn't believe this was happening in his life as he collapsed back onto the sofa of his apartment, a lazy smile on his lips as he recalled everything.

It was three days after the party, Yong had insisted on playing golf with him after taking a half day on Saturday on the insistence of Yong himself. Singto at first didn't want to get ahead of himself but as the day had progressed, Singto couldn't help but wonder why Yong was doing this.

Until he revealed just before they were about to wrap up the game by placing his gloved hand on Singto's shoulder,

"I really like your work ethic and approach to problems and your ability to charm clients." Singto had kept his smile under control as Yong had further said, "I didn't really want to reveal this before it actually happened but I need you to be prepared for responsibilities,

"Because once I buy the shares I have been eyeing, I'll actually have a say in the decision rather than just a referral." Yong sealed his lips, taking his hand off of Singto's shoulder but his eyes spoke everything when finally Singto's lip sprouted in a toothy grin,

"Thank you, P'Yong, I'll work even harder." Yong just smiled back, "That's what I expect from you, keep your performance up and record clean, it will only aid you." Singto gratefully nodded as they went ahead and packed up with Singto proposing to catch dinner with Yong and inviting his wife too if Yong wanted to bring.

Yong agreed as he asked to go back home first. Afterwards Yong disappeared from his sight, Singto only rushed, he drove straight to his apartment,

Ignoring the emptiness of the house as he had gone into his room and changed in the nicest semi formal outfit of his, doing his hair and wearing the expensive cologne he saved for rare occasions like these.

He had only rushed more, stopping at the door and yelling back in the house, "Krist! I'll be back late tonight!" And left just like that.

Singto had gone ahead and picked up Yong and Jingjai, taking them to a resort that shared a two Michelin star restaurant. Getting a reservation there was hard but he had a friend there that squeezed him in at the last minute with the table that had the best view.

The evening went amazing, Yong and Jingjai had a great time with him, laughing and chatting, Jingjai seemed extra impressed with him, her gaze lingering onto him but he ignored that because she didn't get very hands-y with him.

Then he gave them a ride home as well. And he was still buzzing on the inside, tonight he has received the greatest news of his life, getting Yong's position in the company would come with so many benefits and a raise that would change his life.

Singto sighed contently, finally pushing himself up and looking around, he needed to tell Krist about his achievement today after all his life was about to become easier and wealthier as well.

"Krist?" Singto called looking around, "Krist, can you come out I need to tell you something." The alpha waited, turning on the TV in the process and watched some of the show that was running until he realized Krist wasn't responding to him.

He looked around the house again before he sighed out loud and got up, "Krist, where are you?" Singto searched around the apartment. The balcony, the washing area, when he came to the nursery, he halted.

Shit, he forgot to get it set up.

Krist wasn't responding because Singto didn't take care of it.

Singto went ahead and opened the door without thinking much. The room was empty, the whitish walls looking like an eyesore.

A brief thought crossed his mind that Krist could have set up the nursery himself if he actually wanted to, he didn't need to wait for Singto to step up.

But the thought passed just as it came and closed the door. "Krist?" He called again, his mood was still too good to get annoyed. He checked the bedroom, it was empty, his golfing clothes still lying there scattered as Singto narrowed his eyes.

Krist would never tolerate outside clothes on the bed like this. "Krist?" His tone changed now as he finally opened the bathroom door, walking inside and checking every corner,

Now Singto's heart slowly clenched, as he circled back to the living room, the sound of TV running in the background filling the void.

Maybe he could have gone to a friend's house and didn't tell him because he was in a rush?

But Krist had a phone too, Singto bent over the rest of the sofa and picked up his phone, first he tried calling Krist,

The line was unreachable.

He tried ten times, then twenty, and even thirty.

The line was unreachable yet again.

As panic started to stir in Singto's chest, he went through every communication app; messages, Instagram before he ultimately opened Line.

His private chat with Krist was on top as he opened it and found a video sent by Krist but also on the bottom line that he couldn't reply to this chat anymore.

He tapped over the video and luckily it played...

*

The video started with Krist looking everywhere but the camera, from the background and lighting it could be judged that he was sitting on the dining table during morning or noon time specifically since sunlight wasn't entering the west facing apartment,

"It's Saturday morning, nine-thirty am as of now."

The omega finally looked up at the screen- his brown eyes holding the same emptiness as days ago- but he immediately gazed down, "You can call me dramatic, Sing but I needed to do this. And without telling you or talking to you.

"I'm going to leave... And... I don't think... I don't think I can return..."

Silence took over, spanning for moments as Krist just sat there, looking down at his lap like a kid about to be scolded for spilling juice.

"Grandmother, and even your parents, were right about everything. I should have just listened to her, got married to a person of her choice but I desperately needed to listen to myself,"

His tone got vaguely sarcastic at himself at the end,

"That I should grab this one opportunity of getting to go to a university. I never thought I'd meet someone like you, it was life changing for me, personality altering for me, for someone who used to be quiet and numb, started speaking and feeling... Actually feeling...

"I know I am boring you out, if you found this video, let alone come this far, but I think it will make great evidence for a divorce, the court will rule in your favour anyways but this may only strengthen your case.

"I should have known the moment, when I stood behind you holding your cake, that you... Didn't marry me for love... I'm sorry that it took me such a long while to figure it out...

"You married me to prove a point to your parents but ended up staying because you knew I'd be sad, honestly,"

Krist looked up at the camera for once and his lips curled just a little,

"Thank you for understanding, you're by far the most empathetic person I've ever encountered in my whole life, let alone an alpha.

"You made me feel wanted when everyone in my life; my parents, my grandparents and even a bunch of people I used to call friends, wanted me gone."

The omega leaned his gaze again, the curling on the corner of his lips just staying for a tad bit longer before vanishing.

"But I have realized that I have only burdened you with my presence in your life...

"That night, when I was just trying to pull myself together, to overcome the body ache that comes with the baggage of pregnancy, to walk over to you and greet your colleagues and their partners, just so that your image remains intact and no one says that you married someone boring, I saw the way Jamie walked in.

"She was the moment and the way she came, enveloped you in a hug and then proceeded to stay by your side, I knew that our marriage should have ended a long time ago...

"You don't deserve someone who only dulls your shine, Singto. You deserve someone who uplifts you, you deserve someone who is your equal in everything, you deserve someone who genuinely makes you feel and fall in love...

"And that someone is not me, I have realized now..."

Another pause came before Krist eventually spoke,

"I know I shouldn't compare things like this but I just couldn't help it, my body's... It most definitely is not attractive enough by your standards I know and I didn't do anything but just simply exist in a corner that evening, like the burden I am..."

Krist inhaled and exhaled,

"I won't show you my swollen and ugly face anymore, as for this child, I'll do my best to give them up as soon as I give birth, I don't want to burden you with any responsibility that you aren't ready for or don't want to take up right now...

"As for the divorce proceedings, my email is open for you, you can mail me and I'll show up to sign the papers."

Krist looked up again, this time in the eye of the camera,

"Once again, I'm sorry for boring you out with this long video that you have wasted your time to watch and for wasting your time all this while when you could have been openly having the time of your life. I'm really sorry..."

And then he smiled, this time a little wider,

"And I hope you find someone whom your parents love too, someone who uplifts you and your aura like Jamie did that night, all the best and wishing you luck for everything."