Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No one wanted him. 

At first, he refused to believe this could be true. He’d been taken to Castle Town to be fixed up, and had been given a temporary room. He didn’t understand why. Surely he’d just be there a few days- a week at most! There weren’t many people in Hometown, so they were bound to find someone to give him to eventually. 

Unfortunately, there weren’t many people in Hometown. There was little chance anyone wanted some old CRT. So, here he was, 2 weeks after he had been taken in. A lot has changed since he first moved in. First, Lanino, Elnina, Roulx, and the strange coat hanger had left. 

Of course, he was completely fine with this! It was his room. He was glad to have it to himself! Now, he could focus on making it a bit more… home-y?  

He didn’t like that. He shouldn’t be here long enough to warrant his room being more personalized. But, he was. He hated to admit it to himself. While his room was empty, he could continue to pretend to himself that he was leaving soon. Eventually, someone would want him. He couldn’t keep up the delusion for any longer, though. And he had pressed all of the buttons on the podium in the corner at least 6 times now. Most likely more. 

So, here he was now! Ralsei was fine with helping him make his room more… liveable . Tenna had been a bit hesitant at first, but Ralsei’s mannerisms put him at ease. He had no reason to worry. Even if he didn’t like the way Ralsei had said… Well, he could accept that he wasn't wanted. He could accept that he was old, and outdated, and certainly in need of a repair, or two, or more than that, but he really wasn’t up to counting that high right now. But hearing it from someone so… so nice, it just felt wrong. He knew Ralsei’s intentions had been good, but… somewhere, in the back of his mind, his head convinced him that they weren’t. 

His room was more reminiscent of an actual bedroom now. The podium in the corner had been moved aside for a bed (because he could charge standing up like Queen, but the bed made the room really feel complete. Also, it was in the name. bedroom.), a bookshelf that had stuff on it but of course there were things on it, a little desk for when he had to get the brain worms out of his mechanical brain and onto a paper, and on the desk was- 

A laptop. Wow, this sure felt like a slap to the face. Surely, this was Queen’s idea. She was so, so modern. He’d seen it there before, yes, but thinking about it now… he didn’t like it. He worked fine- he could run old shows, uh… act out other old shows. Do a silly jig that someone in some old show would- OKAY we get it, he’s old. We’re moving on. 

He could do more than just watch old shows on the laptop, though. He could watch NEW shows, and write on a digital paper (a ‘document’ Queen had called it). He could message someone, or play a little game, or watch an, as the title on the video had called it, “slime tutorial”. He had gotten annoyed at first when the 2 hour “slime tutorial” wasn’t a REAL slime tutorial. Recently he had gotten annoyed that he clicked on a slime tutorial, and it was an actual slime tutorial. He didn’t understand why it was like that. 

He’s sitting on his bed, reading a book. It wasn’t really a book. It was a script. Which was nice, because he didn’t like actual books. He couldn’t picture them as well as he could a script. With a script, he could picture where characters stood as they spoke, how they moved, their emotion. He was reading through it rather quickly. Instead of a book, the words on the page felt more like he was watching it happen. He could practically see as the- 

“Why, that FUC- “

He clamped a gloved hand over his mouth immediately. He sat a tad straighter. He cleared his throat. No one heard that, right? He hesitated, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t on-air anymore. He didn’t think he would be again. But even still, he couldn’t help but feel as if he had to keep himself family-friendly enough, as if he were on the stage in front of a crowd. He had to act out to anyone, anything. If he didn’t… what was he even there for?

A deep breath. He looks up at his door, confirming for sure that no one was there and, quietly, he mumbled-

“...that fucking jerk.” 

Wow. His life was so boring, he was swearing over something that had happened in a script he was reading. That he had willingly chosen. He needed to get out more. Taking another breath (well, ok it was moreso like his fans pushing air in and out, but sure, breathing!), he looks down at the script to continue reading.

“Wow I Did Not Know You Could Swear” 

Tenna flinched. Oh, of course. She had most likely had her ear (Ear? Speaker? What was he even saying right now?) up against the door the moment he first yelled out. And now when he had gotten it out, she just had to- 

He clears his throat.

His name was Ant Tenna, and today he would be performing-

Oh who was he kidding? He didn’t need to slate right now. He had never stopped performing, so thinking as if he were beginning was nonsense. He looks at Queen, hesitating. 

A beat.

“Oh, hey, Queen. How… how much of that did you just hear?”

“I Heard You Say The Fuck Word.”

She leans against the slanted doorframe. Her visor was lit up with the letters ‘HAHA’. Ah. She shifted uncomfortably. The shape of it was awkward. Leaning slightly, not rounded enough to be comfortable but not leaning enough to be comfortable either. Really, her face was much more rounded, much more comfortable to lean against- 

“Oh, well, that’s hardly a reason to come over. Isn’t that a thing you do normally?” 

“Well”

Her screen lit up again. This time the letters said ‘HMM’. Oh, she was thinking. Tenna didn’t know she could do that. Though, he had to admit sometimes he didn’t think either, so he couldn’t say much. 

“It Is Not Something You Do Often. I Thought You Had A Censor Or Something.” 

Her screen changed again. Just one letter this time. ‘L’. He felt irritated. Well, sure he tried not to swear, but was it THAT big of a deal? She didn’t need to come over. At the same time, she was one door away, and he was lonely- 

He um. He needed to not think about that, actually.

“Oh, well, it’s not that I have a censor built in. I actually just censor myself, to keep it family friendly, you know?”

Queen blinks. Or, her eyes on her screen blink.

“Okay. I Am Bored And Going To Steal Your Laptop Now.”

Tenna was about to interject. She couldn’t just take his things. However, when she sat at his desk he relaxed slightly. Okay, he can go back to his reading. He knew Queen being there was… well, it was nice just having someone there. They didn’t need to talk or anything. He just liked being with someone else. He couldn’t stand being alone. 

Alone. He remembered he was here. He had never found a new person for him. He was unwanted. He wasn’t alone, no, but it felt like he was. He was unwanted. Why? He was old, yes, but someone had to find it charming, at least a little. The nostalgia, the way things used to be, the way things could still continue to be. But for some reason, no one wanted him. For some reason, he was too old to be considered something to want. He wasn’t enough. He wasn’t fast enough, colorful enough, he didn’t have good enough quality. He- 

Maybe it wasn’t that he wasn’t enough. Maybe, maybe he was just broken. A few weeks ago, he would have laughed at the idea. Him? Broken? Ridiculous. He could do all of his intended functions the way they were intended to be done. That didn’t explain why at the back of his mind, a thought creeped towards the front, traveling through his wires till it activated at the very, very front. Where anyone could see if they looked into his head close enough. 

Why else would you not have a home?

He placed the script down on his legs. His head was full. He could feel the metal of his fingers as they moved and touched other things, and other metal. He could feel the script against his legs, and placed it aside. His knuckles brushed the blanket under him, and he shuddered. He felt too warm, with the blanket he was sitting on pulling warmth towards himself when he wanted anything but. He couldn’t just move the blanket either, if his head reeled just at his own fingers touching, at holding a book… he couldn’t touch something else. He couldn’t move it. 

His head felt staticky. The soft fuzz of his vision caused him confusion. He blinks. Why was everything so hazy? The static grew, his surroundings feeling fuzzy. He heard the music of some, most likely bright game coming from where he knew Queen was. Even the noise was growing duller, his senses fading in and out. Was his brain right? Was he just… broken? Why else would everything be moving so slow, and so fast? The game had been quiet enough a moment ago, but now it was so, so loud. He heard someone tell Queen to shut it off. 

“What Why Would I Do That TV Man”

Had he told her to do that? Ah shoot, he hadn’t noticed. And… then the noise is back. And it was too loud. And he had to strain to hear it. He glanced over. He could barely register the colors, but they were at the same time way too bright. Wow. He really was broken. How could he fix this? If Queen saw how broken he truly was, she’d get weirded out. Call him a loser. She’d leave and find someone else’s laptop to play crappy games on- 

He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let her see him like this. How could he- okay, be rational, Tenna. What did people do when a TV didn’t work? Well, they’d hit it a few times, mess with the buttons, turn it off and on again… 

He didn’t want to do that to himself. Hitting himself would be too loud, Queen would notice right away. He knew what his buttons all did, none of them helpful. He couldn’t turn himself off and on, because if he turned himself off he’d black out. And Queen would surely notice. 

Why did he care so much for how Queen saw him? Well, in short, he didn’t. But she talked to others just fine, and it was fine, and she was normal. And people liked her. And she was everything he could never be. And maybe, maybe he wished he could be more like her so people would like him more. But he could never abandon himself like that. He could never be new. At a certain point, it stopped. 

He slumped where he sat, grabbing at the antennas above his head. They were droopy, so they were easier to grab. He hated this. He just had to feel something more than this on and off, this- it was all so much, really. Too loud, too quiet. Too bright, too dark. He could feel too many things. He had to focus himself.

A beat. 

And, scene.

He pulled. And suddenly, finally, all he could feel was pain. The moment the feeling registered, his hands released and his head flinched away as hard as it could. It was involuntary, as if he had flinched on his own, he would have been careful not to hit his head. But since it was involuntary, he had. 

“AGhh- “ 

He held his head. It hurt, his antennas stinging and the back of his head hurting from the impact. His vision was blurrier. He had made it worse. Dammit. The noise from the laptop stopped, and it was too quiet, but a nice sort of quiet at the same time. He saw a blur of blue, a color too bright.

“Hey TV Man Are You Okay Over There” 

Well, no. He began to speak, but his voice caught before it left his voice box. No, that wasn’t it. His internal fans were just pushing air in and out slower than they usually did. Which wasn’t good. He felt too warm. He hesitated, before he tried to speak again.

This time, all that came out was a whimper. How pathetic. He failed. Again.

“Okay I Shall Take That As A No”

Well, yes it was a no. He blinks a few times. Queen was standing in front of him, staring. He couldn’t read her expression. He couldn’t think past processing what she looked like. Where she was. He should try again… don’t say something stupid-

“...it’s too bright in here. too loud.”

Dammit that was stupid. Queen blinked, hesitating. Had she hesitated? He couldn’t tell. 

“Oh Okay.”

She casually walked over to the light, dimming it to about halfway. Okay. Better. He didn’t need to strain to see, but also it wasn’t too bright. Good. 

“Is That Better TV Man”

He nods, to which she walks back over to him. She thought for a moment, before speaking again. 

“You Know I First Came In Here To Annoy You”

Oh, he couldn’t tell, surely. What a mystery that was. He had no idea that she had intended to be annoying. At all. For sure, yes…

“However I Have Decided To Abort That Protocol” 

Oh, great. She was annoying him, then deciding halfway through she was bored, so she was going to leave him to be alone with the fuzziness and the headache. 

“You Are Clearly: In Distress. The Best Action Next Would Be To Leave.”

…Leave? No, no he didn’t want to be alone right now. He didn’t want to be alone with his head right now. He hated admitting it to himself, but his need to have someone there was too strong. He clears his throat. 

“What do… what do you mean? I’m- i’m perfectly fine- !”

Queen looks confused as Tenna stands up, straightening his antennas and his pin. His pin was too metallic, and it was too bright to look at. His antennas were more droopy than he remembered. She looks up at him. But for some reason, she didn’t need to tilt her head as high as she remembered she had before. 

“Are You Sure- “

“Yes! Yes, i’m fine- nothing wrong with Mr. Ant Tenna!“

He gave her a thumbs up. He could feel the way his gloved fingers touched. Fabric on fabric. Metal underneath, not connecting with the metal because of the fabric in the way. She paused. Surely, this didn’t seem right. But she wasn’t really close enough with him to argue. 

“Okay.”

She walks out of the room quickly, shutting the door behind her. That was too loud. Why had she left so quickly? She had no rush to go back to her room, she was right next to him. Unless she wasn’t going back to her room. What if- what if she was going to go tell someone? Tell someone how Tenna couldn’t handle too much noise or light, he was broken, outdated. She had seen him hurt himself. He hadn’t seen her look over but he knew she had to have seen. 

With a moment of pause, Tenna quickly left the room, seeing her nowhere in sight. He was too late, he had to find her before- 

“Tenna!” 

Fuck. Tenna looked down hesitantly, spotting… oh, fuck. Susie? Had Queen told her? Was she about to tell him to leave her alone? That she needed space? Or worse, was she going to ask what was wrong?

“Oh, hello, Susie- “

“Dude, you will NEVER guess what just happened- I was going to tell Lancer but you’re cool too, you know? Anyways- “

Her voice was much too loud for him. He attempted to tune in, to listen. He’d be rude if he wasn’t listening, if he could just focus on her words instead of how horribly loud her voice was, as if it were scratching at his head, or pulling his antennas too tightly- 

“Isn’t that so awesome?”

Oh. He hadn’t heard her. He hesitated, standing up a bit straighter. Her face dropped ever so slightly. No. No, no, don’t break. He had a moment out of character, he had to just… begin again. Easy enough. He concentrated, thinking. 

His name was Ant Tenna, and today, he would be performing the role of Mr. Tenna. 

A beat. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful- ! Tell me more, won’t you?”

Chapter Text

Tenna, if he could, would have most likely thrown up by now. 

He had spent the better half of the last hour or so talking with Susie- at some point, they had started walking while they talked. A bother to the already overloaded systems of the CRT. He had to process words, respond properly, AND move all while his brain was filled to the brim with the fuzz and snow that had never stopped bothering him? This truly was a challenge!

…he should write this down for his next gameshow. Wait, no, nevermind. There would be no next gameshow, because his studio was gone. Right. 

“So then I told him ‘Dude, no one even plays mobile games because they suck, you have nothing to worry about’, and then I started thinking about Queen, because she plays mobile games, right? So- “

Queen. She had entered his room earlier that day. She had witnessed his… malfunction and he hadn’t seen her since she left after it happened. Thinking about her again, he thought about what had happened earlier. The two were walking past the bakery. He was pretty sure the small round guy uh- Prancer? Lancer? One of those… well, the small round guy owned it. And he was pretty close to Queen as they were, to his knowledge, related and- 

Oh, she was going to tell him, wasn’t she? She had rushed off earlier. No way she hadn’t left to go tell her son how strange he was. God this was a mess. He had to figure out how to fix this, somehow- 

“-and then I told her- “

Her? Was Susie talking about Queen now? 

“-so then, she, get this, she said that it was weird that- “

Had Queen told Susie? Surely not much time had passed since Queen left and him walking out to see Susie standing there? How much time did it take Queen to explain that sort of thing? A sentence? A simple ‘Wow Tenna Is Acting So Weird Today’ and Susie would know something was up. It didn’t take long to say a single sentence. He would have heard if she said anything, though. No, he wouldn’t. Because earlier in his room, he had glitched so badly, the things he heard felt so far away. He could have just not noticed her speaking. He could have taken a pause before leaving the room, maybe? She was nowhere in sight when he walked out. 

Was he really that broken, though?

“-honestly, it’s kind of stupid, haha. Lancer’d totally get it, he’s closer to my age, I think.” 

He flickers a bit, before looking down at Susie. She was looking up at him. When had they stopped walking? 

“Hey, why’d you stop?”

Oh. So he was the one who had stopped walking. Okay. He had to pause before he spoke. He had to focus. So many thoughts were in his head at once. They were all fighting to be at the front. Did Queen hate him? Was he unfixable? Was Susie still talking? Why did he stop? What was his reason for being here, if he couldn’t do something as simple as walking and talking without freezing up? Why wasn’t he just normal? He shouldn’t be here. He had no reason to be here. In fact, he should just leave completely- 

“HEY! Earth to Tenna??” 

Tenna flinched, his brain finally able to focus again. Susie was waving a hand in front of his face (or, as in his face as she could reach). He flickers. He straightens himself, readjusting his pin despite its perfectly fine position, and he clears his throat. He felt almost like his fans were jammed. But they weren’t, he knew that. He could tell basic things like that, for sure! 

“Oh, right! Sorry Susie, I was thinking. What’s up?”

Susie narrowed her eyes. Well fuck, she knew. She knew something was wrong and she was going to question him, and he would most likely fuck up because that’s what he’s been doing the most of lately. Susie punched his arm. Lightly. 

“Dude, were you even paying attention?” 

She chuckled, and he looked away. Dammit. She seemed… lighthearted enough, but it still irked him. He needed to focus. Today was too much. Too many thoughts, all running through his head… there was so much in there, it felt like there was nothing at all.

“I um- no. Sorry, Susie. I’ve just been thinking a lot, you know?” 

She could see right through him. She knew he could. He was so nervous, he could hear his fans working nearly twice as hard just to keep him calm and normal. Or, his sort of normal. He was never going to be truly normal at his rate. 

He should go. He can’t handle being here right now. 

“...Okay. Uh- “

Susie paused. Had he said that out loud? Shoot, he really needed to go before he made this worse. Hole himself up for a bit until he could manage to at least pretend to function. 

“I uh- I'm gonna go hang out with Kris then, yeah? Hope you feel better.”

Susie walked off. Oh, this was awkward. Oh, this was worse than when he had first left his room. I hope you feel better . He had been too obviously wrong, that he couldn’t even try to hide it. He had failed. He broke. He had broken character, and Susie could see just how broken he was. 

After a moment of just standing there, Tenna turned on his heel and began to walk back to the castle. He could just hole himself in his room until he felt better. Then, he could try to get back into character. He had to just… take a moment. Make sure he could actually function . He hated that he had to even do that. It hurt, knowing he was so dysfunctional he had to take breaks in between interactions with others, or even in the middle of one, as he had just done. 

He hated himself.

He shut the door to his room. Has he really gotten here already? He felt as if his memory was misfiring. He couldn’t determine what time it was if he tried. He had to get the feelings to go away. The thoughts, the sounds, the feeling of everything . His blazer felt too heavy, but he didn’t want to take it off. It was warm, in a way that was slightly uncomfortable. He knew that if he removed it, he’d be slightly uncomfortable still, but cold. At least the lights weren’t bothering him. Unfortunately, everything else was. 

He took a deep breath. Calm down, Tenna. Focus. Don’t think about how you can feel everything. The way his clothes were pushing towards him in a way that itched, but also everything was so warm. At the same time, he knew if he changed then he’d just be cold. Maybe removing his gloves would help? He hastily removed his gloves, pacing toward his desk and placing them down. They weren’t neatly on top of each other. He had to fix that. So he did. He started pacing. His hands felt worse now. Without his gloves, he could feel metal on metal. The soft, almost unnoticeable but also way too loud sound of metal. It scraped against itself in a way that he had forgotten could happen. He was almost always wearing his gloves. 

He hated this. 

He hated having- no, not skin. The layer of metal protecting his wires from the open air and most danger. He continued to pace, scratching at his left wrist. The floor was too uneven. The difference between the tiling and the rug was too much. Too different. He started to avoid the rug, not wanting to feel the difference beneath his shoes. It was too noticeable. 

The noise of metal against metal was painful. But the uncomfortable sting of his wrist as he scratched at it was helping him focus. He couldn’t blank out if he was in pain. His brain didn’t let him do that. Eventually he would get used to the sting, and it would fade. So he scratched harder. It hadn’t faded but he knew it would soon. He had to do something else. Anything else to keep him focused, and keep him here.  

He remembered what he had done earlier, by accident. He had hit his head against the wall. Queen distracted him. He couldn’t do it if someone was here. But he was alone. And he assumed he was alone. Queen was presumably out. Lancer was running his bakery. Kris and Susie were out. Ralsei was… okay he wasn’t sure where Ralsei was, but it was unlikely he was in his room.

He stood still, looking at the front wall of his room. If he hit his head enough, it’d fix things eventually, right? It’d fix him, somehow. That’s what people did when things didn’t work. When they broke. And if it didn’t fix him as he thought it would… at least it’d solve his problem for him. 

He didn’t brace himself before hitting the side of his head against the wall. Pain seared through him like a knife, but he had to fix himself. So without a second to pause, he did it again. And again. And- 

He heard a noise, like some sort of garbage noise. The fuzz in his head left, replaced by agony. He could think again. But maybe not, because all he could think about was how much it hurt. He sat up against the wall, silent. His screen flickered off and on. He felt his fans getting caught, and he almost panicked before they continued, their function jagged and uneasy no longer uniform. His screen turned off for a few seconds this time, instead of flashes. Everything was blurry. What had he just done? He couldn’t fix himself. He was a failure, through and through. No wonder he was unwanted. 

He heard the door open. Fuck . He couldn’t tell who it was, he just saw blue. Kris? Queen? Lancer? Who- 

“Tenna.”

Queen. Crap not this again. Why did she have to see him like this? He felt metal hands on his shoulders. His screen continued to flicker. He couldn’t see. What was going on?

“Tenna Hey Are You Okay”

He tried to respond. All that came out was garbage noise. The hands on his shoulders flinched. 

“Okay I Shall Take That As A No.”

A pause. She was trying to figure out what was wrong. Defining what was wrong was usually the first step in helping, right? The hands were gone from his shoulders now. He heard noise. What was going on? He tried to blink a few times. He saw Queen, who was shutting the door as quietly as she could. Which was a normal volume, because usually she slammed every door she closed. 

She went back over to him, observing him. She could have crouched, but he was tall enough to where she could stand and inspect him, and it’d be fine. 

“There Is Minor Damage In The: Left Side Of Your Head.”

Minor? It didn’t feel minor to him. Maybe it was just the physical damage that was minor…? Yeah, maybe it was that.

One hand moved to his left hand. Oh,

“There Is Also Minor Damage To: Your Wrist. No Clue How That Got There Because You Were Hitting Your Head So- “

She paused. Her screen flickered from ‘HMM’ to ‘OH’ in about 5 seconds. 

“Processing.”
Another mildly uncomfortable pause. This time, a bit longer.

“Okay So I Would Go Get Ralsei But This Is Something I Can Fix. Ralsei Is More Used To: Healing Non-Robots After All.” 

She left for a moment, returning with a box.

“Usually If I Get Hurt I Just Get A Servant To Help Me. But If I Hurt Myself On Accident Which Is Very Rare, I Don’t Bother.”

Her screen flashed with ‘TRUE’ very quickly before going back to her actual face. She grabs his wrist again, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket (to his discomfort). She observes the wound, then looks back at his right hand. As if to confirm something. It appears as if whatever she was looking to confirm, she confirmed. 

He knew he should say something. But everything hurt, and the last time he tried it failed. But he could try again. It wouldn’t hurt any worse than his head did, that was for sure. 

“...sorry.”

That came out quieter than he would have liked. She shook her head, continuing. The metal on his wrist felt strangely cool. It was nice.

“That Is Okay I Can Fix This Just Fine.”

…that wasn’t what he was trying to apologize for-

“Also, Your Fault: Set To False.” 

…okay? That didn’t help. He knew it was his fault. He had done this to himself willingly. His sleeve was rolled back down.

“Can You Move Your Head To The Side. No The Other Side.”

He did as she asked. The fuzz wasn’t returning, but the pain in his head was reduced to a monotonous ache. Was it over? Could he think again? Could he go back out and apologize for being so strange? He felt sort of distressed. Queen had seen the worst of him. She was helping him. She had seen past Mr. Tenna, and peering close enough inside, she had seen Ant. 

Though, now that she knew, there was no harm in talking about it. If she hadn’t told someone else, which he was starting to think she hadn’t… maybe it would be okay?

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just- ever since I came here, everything’s been so… overwhelming. There’s too much going on. There’s no- no structure- and… it’s just all too much. And- and if I can’t even handle something so small, then why would anyone ever like me- and people don’t, so- “

Oh, what was he saying? He should stop now- this was not the time or place for him to be rambling at her.

“Tenna” 

“I Am Not Going To Say I Understand Because I Do Not. But You Do Not Need Everyone To Like You. You Know That Right.”

He hadn’t thought about that. Sure he didn’t NEED everyone to like him, but it hurt when people didn’t. And he did his best to be something everyone could like. So he wouldn’t be disliked by anyone . But right now he felt like he wasn’t even liked by anyone.

“Well… yes, but it- I just… feel alone.”

She paused. She didn’t understand his thought process. He didn’t need everyone to like him, sure. And people did like him! But he felt like they didn’t. Like he had no one, he was alone. But that was completely wrong, because-

“Well I Like You That Should Count For Something.”

Tenna’s head felt similar to his hand now. She backed up, and he turned to face her again. The head pain had been reduced further to a dull fuzz. Not the same fuzz as before… this was different. He felt warm again. This time it was comfortable.

“You- you like me? Even after… what happened earlier?” 

She nodded. Tenna stood up after a moment, and she had to strain her neck to look at him again.

“Yeah Why Wouldn’t I”  

He hesitated, looking at her. Had she really genuinely liked him? After- after all of that? Even when he revealed Ant to her… she still liked him despite it?
“Oh, Queen- “

And without another moment, he scooped her up in a hug. She was startled, but relaxed for a second. Before realizing that-

“Woah Okay I Am In The Air Now”

Ant put her down after a moment. He brushed himself off.

“Sorry, sorry- just… Thank you. You- you have no idea what this means to me, I just…” 

He took a deep breath. 

“...I didn’t really think it- it was possible. To um, you know. Have someone… like me just as is. Mr. Tenna’s always been the one in the spotlight, really. But Ant…” 

Queen looks at him. She was about to say something along the lines of ‘Haha That Is So Sappy’ or something, but it felt… wrong. She genuinely did care about him. So much so that she had to think before she spoke. 

“Ant.”

Ant?!

“Ant You Are Cool You Know That”

Ant… had to think about that. He was cool. As is. She wasn’t talking about Mr. Tenna. She wasn’t. She was talking about Ant. 

Him. Ant Tenna.  

Chapter Text

Ant was doing great. 

Him and Queen had been hanging out more recently. Queen had taken the time to show him functions of his laptop- sometimes they’d watch shitty movies together, sometimes Ant would commentate as Queen played a game. Sometimes, Ant would spend 3 hours straight explaining the plot of his all time favorite musical. Right now, the two were sitting on Ant’s bed. Queen had his laptop balanced on her legs, and he leaned up against her, watching the screen closely. 

They hadn’t spoken for a while. They didn’t need to. Sometimes, just being near each other said everything. A shift in position was a silent ‘im uncomfortable can we move’. Ant beginning to slowly relax against her, an unspoken ‘im sleepy and/or bored’. Ant wasn’t paying much attention to the movie in all honesty. Just being was enough for now. 

“Do Not Fall Asleep. I Do Not Want To Pick You Up Off Of The Floor” 

Ant looks over at her, quickly straightening his posture. Maybe being on the side of the bed with no wall next to it wasn’t the BEST idea. Though, he’d rather it be him on the floor than her. Even if he was heavier, and slightly harder to pick up. He stretched, then felt Queen shift. He looked over, and readjusted back to his first position. He hadn’t noticed it earlier, but she was trying her best to not spill her battery acid, which she was holding in her free hand. Her other hand was hovering over the keys. Not moving to turn it off, or anything. Just hovering, like she wanted to press a button but knew she couldn’t without disrupting the moment. 

“Okay, okay, sorry.” 

Ant scooted a little closer towards the middle of the bed, Queen readjusted as well to give him room. He was bigger than she was, though she ended up taking up more of the bed than he did anyways. She goes back to watching, and he goes back to thinking. Hm… looking down at her, Ant noticed a few things. Well, for one- the visor she wore was indeed a part of her head, not an attachment, or glasses as he had first thought. Which, he should have guessed, was the case, because his screen was the same way. 

Also, it seemed her lips were naturally blue. He could tell the difference between lipstick and no lipstick, after all. There was a certain texture that lipstick had, that up close was noticeable. It had a different shine to it than natural lips did. His eyes drifted away from her lips after a small amount of lingering. Her smile was perfect. Was she always this photogenic? 

His eyes drifting downward (as there was only one way to go when looking at someone from the top down), he thought about the strange thing around her shoulders. It reminded him of a dress shirt’s collar, but popped out. He was sure there was a name for it, but what was it?

Hey, wait. Since when did he think about those details? Ant tore his eyes away from her with considerable difficulty, looking back at the laptop. He could faintly see her reflection in the darkest parts of the video. He wasn’t really watching- he hadn’t been for a while now. He wasn’t too sure if she was either. He watched her take a sip from her glass, his eyes following the darkest parts of the film so he could look at her. 

He watched in her reflection as she turned to him, and he broke his glance away from the screen. 

“Ant Do You Want A Glass Too”

What? Well, he had no idea where that came from, but either way he wasn’t too interested. He knew his systems could handle alcohol, but battery acid? He wasn’t sure if it’d knock him out, or fry his insides. Or both. He’d rather not risk it. He watched her twirl the liquid in her glass. He wasn’t sure if he was looking at her, or watching the liquid spin in the cup. 

Oh, right he had to respond. Absent-mindedly, he spoke.

“Oh, no thank you, doll.”

The liquid stopped spinning. 

“Ant What”

Ant took a moment to think before he realized his mistake. His screen flared red, as he looked away from her, moved to look at the wall, and then the ceiling, and then her reflection, and then her again. 

“OH, I'm sorry! It just slipped out, I wasn’t really paying attention and it just felt so natural and- WAIT no not that- it just… I wasn’t thinking, i’m- “

Queen looks at him with a look he can’t describe. She paused, silent, before laughing and putting a hand to the middle of his face. 

“Dude You Are So Funny. I Do Not Care If You Want To Call Me That.”

Oh, what a relief!  Crisis averted! She took her hand off of his face, poking his forehead. He was still red.

“Anyways Instead Of Battery Acid Do You Need Water Or Something. You Are Still: Red and Warm” 

…he fidgeted with the cuff of his sleeve. The offer was nice, really! He liked knowing she cared enough to offer. But…

“Um… well, thank you for the offer, but I can’t have water. It shorts my circuits and REALLY damages my insides. Like if you gave battery acid to a human like uh… Kris, for example.”

She takes a considerable sip of her own battery acid as he mentioned it. The distractions seem to have made his screen considerably less red. He was now a soft pink color. 

“Oh So It Like, Kills You”

“Exactly that- “

“Darn”

She turns her face back to the movie, leaving him to think on that for now. Doll… he hadn’t called anyone that in a while. Not since- 

—

“Why, thank you, doll.”

Tenna took the hand of the considerably shorter mailman, stepping out of the other’s scarlet red car. Looking down, he saw his partner’s face. Black, slicked back hair, a white face with rosy cheeks, bright, colorful glasses. The upper half of the man’s pinstriped suit. The shorter man let go of his hand once Tenna was out of the car, much to his disappointment. Though, he understood why. Even if they were in a more quiet section of the city, a single phone could give them away. 

To the world, they were business partners, stars in every definition of the word. To the two of them, however, they were the type of partners that called each other nicknames and held hands, and kissed on the couch while some crappy Z-Rated film was giving them white noise.

“You know, darling, if we weren’t in [Kahoot.it], I'd say you’re making fun of my face, then I'd sock you in yours.” 

Walking up the steps, Tenna felt heat rush to his face, already knowing his antennae were drooping from the way Spamton gave him a mischievous smile. Speaking of the man, he pushed his glasses up his face, then opened the door for the two. 

“After you, my [Funny Honey]!!”

Tenna let out a laugh. He was going to regret showing Spamton all the musicals he’s been showing him lately. But it was okay, because Tenna knew he cared. If the shows he’s been showing him have been making their way into his little speech quirk, then that knew he had been paying attention the entire time. It put to rest his previous worries. 

The two made idle chatter as they entered Spamton’s apartment. The moment Spamton locked the door, Tenna felt a weight release. He could stop holding back as he had been all day. He savored the moments Spamton could hold his hand as he helped him out of a car, or the times Spamton would hold him, patting him on the back in a very non-homosexual way as he congratulated him on a good show. 

Spamton made his way over to the couch, flopping down as if no one was watching. Tenna chuckled as he sat down next to him with his legs crossed, watching the smaller one take off his glasses and bite at the end. Tenna had never really understood the glasses. He knew they were two different colors, but he didn’t remember. Pink and blue? Red and green? Purple and yellow? He wasn’t sure. 

“Why do you keep those glasses on all the time, doll? You don’t even need them.”

Tenna remarks, often glancing to his side as Spamton holds the remote for the tv in his other hand. 

“It’s not that I need them or anything. I just like the [Live In Living Color!]”

Tenna paused, processing. Then, a flower sprouted out of his nose. A white magnolia, resting atop the tip. His favorite musical has made its way through Spamton’s mind, enough to come out in his speech. 

“Aww, hon-  I knew you’d liked the show!“

“What? You’ve made us watch it [And every day] this [WEAK!!].” 

Tenna knew he had a point. He picked the flower off of his nose (Ow, why did he keep doing that? He knew it’d hurt every time.), and held it out to Spamton. 

“You know, I think we should watch it again.” 

Tenna spoke, looking up at the flatscreen. Halfway through his words, he had seen Spamton going through the effort to type the name in. He’d gotten to ‘Catch M’ before Tenna had looked up. 

“Already on it, dear.”

Tenna quietly pocketed the flower. 

—

Tenna blinks a few times, remembering where he was. He was in his room with Queen, and her arm was around his shoulder. Some movie was on the screen. He wasn’t paying attention. He looks at her, soon realizing she hadn’t been paying attention either. She was looking right back at him. 

“Ant Don’t Zone Out Like That Or I Will Have The Urge To Shake You Like A Pillow, Okay”

Tenna stretched the best he could with her on his bed. He yawns. He didn’t need to yawn like physical people did. It was more so just an indicator that he was tired. 

“Oh, sorry, Queen. I just… got a little distracted.”

More like remembering something he didn’t want to remember. He had done so well, pushing it back in his head and forgetting it. But it always got brought back. Too many things reminded him of the man. He had shown the man every interest he had, every part of him he’d never show to others. He showed the man the deepest inner workings of himself, had shown the man inside his studio, inside his brain, inside him-

Even looking at himself, sometimes he was reminded of the man. 

Queen shrugs, brushing this off. Or, he assumed she had, as she went back to watching the movie. Wait, this was different. The color grading was different from the other one they had just watched. The other one had been properly white balanced. This one was slightly off center. It was almost white. In the way that man’s face had been white, really. 

“Queen? Did you switch films?” 

Queen paused the film, looking over. Tenna liked the constant noise. He was a little sad that he didn’t have it anymore… 

“Oh Yeah The Other One Finished”

…really??? He swore they were only nearing the middle of the film. Has it really been that much time? Geez, he needed to calm down. Get out of his own head, place himself back into reality. He took a deep breath.

Ant leaned into Queen’s arm as she held him casually. Was this just… their normal now? He had always been so careful of his actions around her. Any slip of the tongue, any action he had done before he’d thought. Now, he realized he was more relaxed around her. Like he could just talk to her, or call her ‘doll’, or place his head on her shoulder. Maybe things would be fine. 

Chapter Text

“So, why do they call it a ‘mole’ anyways?”

Susie slumps over her paper, dropping her pen onto the table. Currently, Susie and Tenna were working on some homework Susie was struggling with. Tenna was proud of Susie- he had heard from Kris (sorry Susie, he got curious!) that she had been kind of rough at first. She hadn’t even thought about working with Kris on their project until after they had gone through the Cyber World. They were sitting at a table in the cafe. Susie had a hot chocolate. She had remembered to ask for a lid, you know. Just in case. She did have her papers after all. Tenna, who was trying to help her, had been absentmindedly munching on a muffin for the past hour. He tilted his head at her question.

“Not sure, actually. I could guess it had something to do with the guy’s name?”

Tenna… actually wasn’t sure. He had scanned through every Bill Nye episode he’d ever played for Kris and Asriel, and he didn’t remember seeing a ‘mole’ anywhere.

“Uh, his name was Avogadro. I doubt it has anything to do with that.”

Tenna sighs, leaning on the table. Why he agreed to help, he wasn’t sure. But Susie had gone to him first, and he just felt so happy at that, he HAD to agree. Though, he was just as stuck as she was. 

“Ah ah- hold on. We’re getting off topic. We need to get back to work, Susie!”

At that, Susie groaned and crumpled the first paper she was- which was her homework. She hesitated, uncrumpled it, and put her work away. 

“Maybe I should have asked Noelle. She TOTALLY would have known what to do. She’s so smart…” 

Susie smiled and sighed as she put her things away, and Tenna raised a nonexistent eyebrow. Susie only had good things to say about her. He only vaguely remembered her as a child from when she’d hang out with Kris- and she seemed nice. She was nice to Kris and Asriel, at least. …hey wait a second!

“Susie, you seem to talk about Noelle a lot, don’t you?”

Susie looked at him, deadpan. She then cleared her throat, and chugged her hot chocolate. To Tenna, he was fairly sure she was avoiding the question. Which she was. When she had finished her hot chocolate, she crumpled the cup and tossed it behind her. It landed in the trash can. Tenna’s antennae must have perked up, because she looked behind her and smirked once she realized there was no cup litter to be seen on the ground. 

“Ha! Score!”

Susie snickers, and Tenna joins her. He clears his throat (did he even have one?) and speaks in his best announcer voice. Which was just his tv show host voice. Which was just his normal voice.

“Susie makes the winning shot! And the crowd goes wild!”

Tenna looks around, to soon realize that they and Swatch were the only ones in here. Swatch, who has been roped into this by the sheer lack of people in the room, gives a short little clap. Tenna and Susie smile at each other. Tenna seems okay with that, actually. He, uh, forgot there was no actual audience. 

“Pfft- the crowd goes wild? More like the crowd goes home.”

Tenna and Susie look at each other, and then they both burst out into laughter. It’s been a while since they could do something like this, actually. Susie had been busy in the light world, and when she did come back, it was for important matters. Or she ended up spending all of her time with others… which, he didn’t mind at all! Nope! He could spend that time with Queen instead! Now with their base ideas gone, they needed something else to do. Tenna hesitated, before standing.

“Say, why don’t we go somewhere else? The TV building isn’t… done , but I could teach you about some of the equipment!”

…Susie looked incredibly bored, so he thought up something else. Quick, be cool! He knew she had liked the Lightners LIVE physical challenge, so maybe he could- 

“Uh, we could also test some of it out! I think we still have your drum set, if you’re up for- “

Susie banged her hands on the table, her eyes shining. 

“HELL YEAH!” 

...It seems Susie was excited. He finished his muffin, then stood up. He uh, wasn’t MEANT to be using the stage while it was under construction. But he and Susie were friends- and he knew all of his equipment like the back of his arm! He could surely guide her around without breaking anything!

“Well, let’s go then!” 

Tenna cleans up his trash (the muffin wrapper), and makes his way to the exit. Susie follows, with a certain pep in her step that he hadn’t seen in a while. She seemed to be really excited to be on a stage again- sort of like he had been the first few times when he’d first started his show. Except with his show, he’d had a real, live audience and he had been alone. And with her it was… different. She was with her friends, and she hadn’t had to talk- and as they entered his studio, he realized she wouldn’t have an audience this time. It’d just be him. He’d never had that…

Entering, it was… a bit of a mess. The entrance was good enough, but once they went backstage… It was a different story. Props everywhere, various set pieces, instruments, equipment… it was a mess. Tenna sighs. This would be difficult to sort through.

“Ah yikes- it sure is a mess back here.” 

Tenna looked over the mess- before spotting the drumset in a corner. He pointed it out, and she looked over.

“Hey, there it is!”

Susie rushed over, and Tenna felt a small amount of anxiety. Though there were other things he was thinking about…

“Hey, can you move that onto stage while I go get some sound equipment sorted for you? I can show you how it works and stuff too!” 

Tenna was excited. He hadn’t worked crew in… forever . Susie gave him a thumbs up, and he went off. He’d need to set up at least one speaker, maybe a mic? He wasn’t sure if Susie wanted to do anything past drumming- but if she had wanted to, she could! He was confident enough around his own equipment to trust her, even if he hadn’t done crew in a while. Hm, should he get her a microphone instead? Lavalier mics were… rough. Should he get a camera? Maybe she’d want to use this as an audition reel or something for later on! 

…Ah, he was getting ahead of himself. They were just doing this for fun! He’d just need a mic and a speaker set up. Which shouldn’t be too hard for him. 

—

Okay, well that took the worst end of a good 45 minutes. He couldn’t find a mic- then, he found a mic but not a mic stand- then he found a mic stand that didn’t fit the mic, so he just went to find a speaker. Then, he realized that there were speakers ON the stage and he had to go set those up. THEN he had to get his laptop for a backing track, if he needed it. Eventually, he did finish setting things up, and walked back to Susie, who was messing with the drumset. She had gotten it out a while ago… 

“Okay, I think we’re good! What do you wanna play, Susie?”

Tenna had the laptop balanced in one hand, opening it up. She hit a cymbal, causing a sudden loud crash to ring through the stage. Tenna flinched, then looked up from his laptop.

“Uh… not sure. Maybe the same song that me, Kris and Ralsei did last time? I uh… dunno what else I could do.”
Tenna frowned. Well, he should have expected that. Though it didn’t make this any less awkward.

“Are you sure? That song’s a lyrical one so it’ll sound pretty off without a vocalist- “

Susie waved a hand, brushing him off. 

“Oh, whatever! That’s what the mic’s for, right? I’m sure it’s not THAT hard to sing.”

…Susie was mildly underestimating how difficult it was to play drums AND sing. Did she even know the lyrics? His confusion must have been noticeable on his face, as she had frowned at him. 

“Relax dude, I got this! Besides, you’re the only one watching me, right?”

Tenna nodded. He went to set the laptop down at the edge of the stage, facing her so she could look down at the lyrics. He had pulled them up because he knew she hadn’t really sung it before. He stood at the front. He could pause and unpause the track easier this way. 

“Okay, slate for me and I'll start the track!”

…

“What’s a slate?”

Tenna had forgotten she was a beginner. She didn’t know what a slate was, so he needed to teach her that too. He sighs dramatically, then goes back up the stage. 

“I almost forgot you hadn’t done one before, haha- “

He walks up to her, motioning for her to stand. She does, and then he starts explaining.

“Okay okay- so, what you do is you state your name, the piece you’re performing, and the creator. Since you don’t know who created it, you don’t have to include that, but usually you do.” 

Susie blinked. Then she smiled at him.

“Oh, got it!”

He was unsure if she had really gotten it. 

“Do you… want an example?”

Susie hesitated, before nodding.

“Yeah. Want to see it from a pro so I don’t look like a doofus, haha- “ 

“Okay okay, I'll give you an example. Here- “

Tenna took a step back from her, facing her. He put his arms at his sides, looked directly at her, then spoke- 

“Hello. My name is Ant Tenna. Today, I will be performing ‘Raise Up Your Bat’.”

A beat.

Then, he gave her a thumbs up.

“And that’s how it’s done! It’s pretty simple, really, haha- it just takes a bit to get rid of the pre-performance nerves, you know? Oh- and the pause at the end is important. Give the audience, or judges, or whoever’s watching some time to prepare.” 

Susie nodded. She waved at him, like she was brushing him away. Hey, that was a little rude… whatever! He walks off stage, going back to where he was before. She went back to stand in front of her drum set. He could see she was nervous. The way her hands were held behind her back, the quick glance from the floor back to him. 

“Okay, you ready, Susie?”

“Pff- of course!”

She takes a breath. And- 

“Hey. My- My Name’s Susie, and I'll be performing ‘Raise Up Your Bat’.” 

She stuttered. The diction on her slate was as expected. She wasn’t used to needing to project to an audience. The mic would help when she sang, though. She made her way to the drumset, gave him a nod, and he clicked the track. She came in a beat late. To him, it was clear her voice was too deep for the song. She had started a note or so lower than needed, which made the higher notes too low, and when there were lower notes, she couldn’t really get lower. 

He’d have to teach her some vocal warmups if they had time later. He noted off more things as she went on. She, as he expected, had looked at the computer multiple times. This messed with the timing, but he knew he had to be… patient. He was used to working with professionals- people used to performing. This was a teenage girl, his friend who was just performing for him because it was fun to her. 

When it did end, Susie looked a bit… anxious. Usually she covered it just fine, but even if he could barely see her eyes, he could tell. She stood up and walked towards him, running a hand through her hair.

“So, what’d you think? Am I up to your expectations?”

           Tenna nodded. To that, she smiled. He was thinking too much. All of the notes he had for her spun around his head. Usually he was more upbeat, but in a sense of… professionalism, he had toned down a bit.

“Oh, I was that good? Sweet!”

        Tenna hesitated. How could he tell her that his expectations of her performance had been sort of adjusted to her current level? She was a beginner, and he judged her how he would judge any beginner. This was really only her 2nd time on a stage. So he couldn't expect her performance to be of… a certain quality.

“Oh, yeah, you were! I do have some notes though- “

         Then, as the two began to close up, Tenna gave her his advice. As they put the drums away, he told her about diction and projection. She knew how to be loud, but making her voice fill a space was much different. As they put away the audio equipment, he told her about how memorization would make the performance just that much better. If she was thinking of the words, she couldn't focus on her performance. As they were walking back to Ralsei's castle, he explained vocal range- Raise Up Your Bat was a rather high song for her particular voice. She'd rather have to train her voice to go higher, or focus on songs that fit her range specifically. He might end up transposing the song for her range if he feels like it. So many ideas… 

           When they got to her room, she frowned. 

“Aww man. This was fun! I didn't expect to actually be into this. We should do this again sometime! I could even perform when you open up to performances!”

        …Tenna really hoped she could improve enough in that time for that to be real. He knew she was a beginner, but if he helped her enough, she could really get into this-

“I can look for a song tonight, and do it tomorrow if you want? We can record it and do it over and over and stuff!” 

         Tomorrow? Sure. Maybe. He was tired from today. Queen and him had relaxed for most of the morning and midday, then Susie and him hung out… phew! He didn't know his social battery could be this drained… 

“Oh, yeah we can do this again tomorrow! I need to go now. I need to charge, in multiple definitions of the word!” 

           Susie grinned at him, grabbing her door knob and twisting it open. She was looking forward to tomorrow, now. 

“Yeah! Hey, I'll swing by your room tomorrow when I can and we'll go back!” 

          Tenna nodded.

“Yeah! I'd like that.” 

          Tenna left to his room, feeling drained. He opened the door, shut it, and immediately flopped onto the bed. He yawns, feeling very deflated. He'd done a lot today! And nothing bad had really happened or anything. He was just tired. Tomorrow morning, he'd go out and get a coffee. Then, he and Queen could hang out more! And then he and Susie could work on her performance skills, and he could even give her a few ideas- 

           Oh. This was all making his head spin. He settled on at the very least getting a coffee and seeing Susie. He could debate everything else when he was more awake. He'd just need to wait for tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

Tenna, as he had planned, was in the cafe drinking a coffee. He knew he had a lot of things planned for today, but he had to start small. Which consisted of him drinking a coffee first thing in the morning. He hadn’t really felt like it this morning, so he got a more sugary coffee instead of his usual. So it felt more like a little treat than coffee, really. He was sitting in a corner by himself, thinking. After this, he and Queen could watch some movies for a bit, then maybe later he and Susie could hang out? He did want to check if the lavalier mics worked, and this was a good chance to test them out! 

With nothing else to really do, Tenna drank his coffee and watched people pass. Various other darkners coming in to get a coffee or a tea, or going to sit down with a friend. He much preferred talking to others, but just watching people pass was fun too. Especially if he really didn’t have the social battery to be talking to people when he had already planned to hang out with 2 other people that day. He tapped his foot against the floor, continuing to watch people pass. Blurs of black, white, pink and… pink and yellow. He flinched.

No, there was no way- he must have imagined that, right? He, around halfway done with his coffee, downed the rest of the thing, stood, and tossed the cup in the trash on his way out. He began to pace down the sidewalk- left, the blur went. So left he went as well.

Now in view, he could see the blob clearly. It was much shorter than him. It couldn’t have been taller than 4 feet, really. It wore black, from what he could see, and its black hair was slicked back, two singular hairs out of place on the top, sort of like antennae. But not really. 

It turned a corner into an alley, and he followed. He felt a pit in his chest. He knew there wasn’t one, not really. He’d be able to tell if there was something wrong with him. The pit was caused by emotion. One he couldn’t place. All he knew was that he had to know. He had to know if it was true, if this thing was him. If it was really-

“Spamton!?”

Tenna called out, louder than he had planned. The thing turned, and he saw it. The white face, the rosy cheeks, the heterochromatic glasses. Pink and yellow. Though there were things he didn’t recognize. A smile, permanently screwed into the man’s jaw. His clothes were all black- no cleanly pressed dress shirt, no sleeve cuffs, no gap where the dress pants and dress shoes didn’t seem to meet. Spamton jumped back.

“[TRASH HEAP]! WHAT ARE YOU DOING [Here and NOW]??!!” 

…Tenna would never be able to get used to the volume of the man’s voice. Like he was perpetually, ALWAYS yelling… except for certain parts of his vocal tics that were quieter. But other than that…

“What- what am I doing? Spamton, what are YOU doing? Where have you BEEN?” 

“WHERE HAVE I BEEN? WHERE HAS [1997 #1 Rated Salesman!] BEEN???! SLEEPING AT THE BOTTOM OF A [Dumpster], [Alone on a Friday Night?]!” 

Tenna was a mix between worried and pissed off. For one, that tic seemed to be a lot worse now- but also… a dumpster?? As much as he resented the man, nearly hated him for leaving him behind like that… he still felt remnants of that past spark. 

“Spamton, you what? What happened to you? Why are you… like this? Where did you go? Why had- you…” 

Tenna was struggling to look at the man now. He looked down and saw who the man used to be. Then he blinked and he saw what the man had been. It took everything in him not to cry. 

“LEAVE ME ALONE, [TRASH HEAP]! I DON’T WANT TO [Speak Up!] WITH YOU AGAIN!!” 

The man began to move again, and Tenna followed. The man hopped into a nearby dumpster, Tenna attempting to rush after him before he disappeared. The lid shut before Tenna could speak up again. He let out a deep breath. Okay. Well, it was clear he wasn’t going to get anything out of this. Pausing before he left, he turned to walk back to the castle. He had to think about this. Spamton… that was him. He hadn’t seen the man for years. He didn’t know what to think. They’d only exchanged a few words, but still-

Oh. He was back in his room again. He hadn’t noticed that. He opens the door to his room, spotting Queen. She was on his laptop, scrolling through. He looks up at her.

“Oh Hey Ant. You Have A Very Long List Of Slime Tutorials On This Thing”

“Hey This Isn’t A Slime Tutorial This One Is Just A Musical”

Ant sighs, shutting the door behind him and walking over to his bed. As if on impulse, Queen scooted to the side so Ant could sit next to her. He peers over her shoulder, looking at the screen. The arrow was hovering over a video. His antennae droop. 

‘Catch Me If You Can Broadway’. His favorite musical. He’d had it at the very top- it was in about 3 of the ‘playlists’ he’d created. He loved it but… in his current state of mind, he wasn’t sure if he was up to it. 

“Oh, that one’s one of my favorites!”

“Okay So Let’s Watch It” 

Ant paused. He wasn’t up to it- but how could he explain to her that he didn’t want to watch it? It WAS his favorite. Why wouldn’t he want to watch his favorite musical? He wanted to tell her- but he knew he couldn’t do it without tearing up. And he didn’t want to bother her with his issues, so- 

“Ah- okay! Sure!”

Queen clicked the video, turning the volume up a few notches. It was a shitty bootleg- the camera quality was something like what Ant’s screen would show- not anything too modern. Queen was a little irked by this, but it was fine. Bootlegs weren’t expected to have too great of a quality anyways. She frowned at the audio quality, turning it up a notch. 

“Geez I Can Barely Hear The Guys” 

Then there was a gunshot. Oh, right! Ant had forgotten. The first few seconds were somewhat like airport announcements- not meant to be heard too well. Then, the actual mics were much louder. Ant flinched at the sudden loud noise. Queen turns down the audio again. The scene played out. Ant was watching, though his mind was elsewhere. Spamton… he and Spamton had watched this all the time. 

Spamton… 

Then, the first song started. Ant sat up a bit when he heard the overture. Queen giggles at this. 

Live in living color

Let me take you for a ride

— 

“[Hey, Hey, Hey!], darling. Why don’t I give you a ride home?”

“Say, how was the performance tonight?”

— 

I’ve got a story i’d like to tell

But i’m gonna need help to tell it well

— 

“God, doll, I can never get the flow of this script quite right- “

“You're so much better at narratives than I am.”

“Maybe I should demote you to be one of my writers?”

“Hey, don’t give me that look! You know i’d never actually do that.

—

I wanna live not just survive

I wanna tell my story

—

“[OH GOD!], if I didn’t have you, darling, i’d be [swimming with the fishes!]”

“You’re [Late Night Special!] to me, Tenna.”

“Have I ever told you how [COLOR, COLOR!!]ful you are?”

“[Hey! Hey! Hey!] My monochromatic color palette is just my [FULL OF STYLE!]”

“Oh, you’re such a romantic sometimes, doll.”

“Here, take my hand. I’ll show you some of my moves, okay?”

“HEY, don’t step on my feet!”

—

And it’s got more twists than a peppermint stick

—

“[Funny Honey], I love you.” 

“I love you too, doll.”

—

“Ant”

“Hey Ant”

Tenna blinks a few times. He remembered where he was. He wasn’t in the parking lot of his old studio, he wasn’t in his office talking with his partner, he wasn’t in the green room, dancing with his partner after hours. He wasn’t in his partner’s old apartment. He was here, in his room, holding Queen close and watching- wait, where’d the sound go? He looks at the screen. The video was paused. In the reflection he could see Queen, looking concerned. And he could see a corner of his own reflection, tears dripping down his face. He turns to Queen, before looking down and wiping his face.

“I- i’m sorry Queen, I don’t know what happened, I just…”

Tenna takes a deep breath. He wipes his face, and the tears stop flowing.

“I haven’t watched this in a while. I guess… it just brought back things I sort of wanted to forget.”

He chuckles. She frowns at him, then puts a hand on the side of his head.

“Ant”

“Ant Sweetie Honey Darling Gravy” 

Darling… He didn’t have the mental energy to process the fact that she had said ‘Gravy’. He had called Tenna ‘Darling’ all the time… it hurt. 

“Do You Need A Moment”

Tenna hesitated. He had called him darling. He had typed the name of his favorite show into his tv that it’d become muscle memory. But he still rejected the flower as if he were focusing. Or, as if he didn’t matter. Tenna, all this time, had brushed off Spamton’s odd quirks as just that. He’d never considered… had the man hated him? Through the pet names, the late nights spent together, the little things the small man remembered- was it all… real? 

“Okay I Am Going To Go Bother My Strange Husband Now”

All this time he’d assumed the man loved him back. But who could love someone like him? After Spamton had yelled so harshly at him earlier that day… it was almost concrete. There were no feelings left in the small man. And Tenna confirmed that there were never any feelings at all. It all hurt so much. No one could ever care for him. Queen would leave eventually, talk to him like he was a stranger, she’d get creeped out. Susie would leave too. Everyone would. It was only a matter of time. He didn’t want to live here if he knew he could turn to no one. 

“Feel Better Soon Sweetie”

Maybe he didn’t want to live at all.

Tenna snapped back, and realized Queen wasn’t there. The laptop was on the bed next to him. He was going to be replaced by this thing.

Tenna felt tears continue to spill. He thought he had gotten rid of them earlier? His head hurt. His body hurt. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He wiped his face, sniffling. 

A knock. 

“Hey, Tenna? I’m back from school! We can do our cool music stuff now!”

Tenna only had time to wipe his face before Susie entered. God, how much time has it been? It surely hasn’t been that long, has it?

“Dude, what’re you doing still in bed- “ 

Susie let go of the knob, frowning. She shut the door. Not all the way.

“Tenna? Bro, are… you okay?”

She went over to him. She seemed taller than she had yesterday. Was she getting her growth spurt? No, she was already tall. Plus, that should have happened ages ago… oh. Wait. Maybe he was just smaller. 

“...Sorry, Susie, I- I just… “

He tried to cover his face with his hands, failing. Curse his large CRT head. He felt a hand on his back.

“Dude, if you need a bit to calm down that’s fine. I can just come back later.”

“Though… what happened?”

Tenna sniffles, trying to wipe his face. Make it go away. Please, he could do this. He could act. If he couldn’t, he was nothing. 

“I… I don’t want to talk about it…”

Tenna’s face burned from the tears. He shut his screen off, to stop it from burning so bad. He felt arms wrap around him. 

“That’s fine, dude! I can just do this, then! Ralsei hugs people and it makes them feel better, so maybe it’d be the same for you? I hope so! Or this is going to be awkward…”

Tenna hesitated, before he hugged her back. They stayed there for a moment. Then, eventually, Tenna pulled away. He had taken too much of her time. 

“...sorry. Can- can I be alone?”

Susie took a step back, then nodded.

“Sure, dude! Do you need anything before I leave?”

Click. He hesitated. He hoped she didn’t know. Please don’t know-

“Oh, uh…”

“Can you get me a glass of water, please?”

—

Queen was bothering her strange husband now, as she had said. She was trying to leave Ant be, though she wasn’t sure if leaving him alone was the best idea. He had always craved attention- hell, he was a tv show host. Though, she had a feeling that if she had stayed, she would have made it worse. So, she didn’t stay. She let him be. 

She heard footsteps, turning away from King, she looked over to see Lancer!
“Lancer Sweetie Hello”

Lancer ran up to her and gave her a hug. She felt nice.

“Hi girldad! Hi boydad! Look at this!”

Lancer pulled out a shiny rock. Queen stepped to the side, to block King from view. 

“Oh Honey Where Did You Get This Cool Object”

Lancer hands it to her, and she rolls it around in her hand. 

“I got it from a hole in the ground! Is it cool? Susie liked it too!”
Susie was here? She was faintly aware that Susie and Ant had met, but… well, she just hoped Susie didn’t bother Ant. He was already a bit shaken earlier… 

“Oh Susie Is Here?”

“Yeah, she was leaving TV guy's room!”

Well, there goes her hopes for Ant being normal. Queen sighs, beginning to walk out of the jail. Lancer follows, grabbing back his shiny rock. 

“Girldad, where are you going?”

“Going To Check On Tenna. Say, Did Susie Say Anything About Him”

Lancer hesitated, then nodded. They were going up the stairs now. 

“Oh yeah! She was just getting him a glass of water. She said he was doing pretty rough, so I decided not to bother him with the rock!”

Well, good at least she knew Lancer hadn’t bothered Ant as well- 

…Water?

—

“Um… well, thank you for the offer, but I can’t have water. It shorts my circuits and REALLY damages my insides. Like if you gave battery acid to a human like uh… Kris, for example.”

—

Queen booked it up the stairs. She heard Lancer calling after her. Not important, she had to go. If her instincts and memory were right, and she was NEVER wrong… well. She had to hurry. 

Rushing up the steps, turning the corner, running to his room. No. No no no. He wouldn’t do that, right? Surely she just didn’t know, and he had discarded the water after she gave it to him, right? Just the thought that counted, please don’t be- 

She slammed open the door. 

Fuck.

Ant was sitting on his bed. At the noise of the door, he’d dropped his cup. Water spilled out of it. It seemed almost full. But not full. She looked at Ant. A drop of water was perched at the edge of his mouth. He was frozen. He had been caught. She rushed over to him, grabbing him by the shoulders. He barely moved, only turning his head to look at her.

“Ant- “

His head slumped forward. She panics, kneeling down so she could get a look at his screen without moving his head too much. It flickered at her. She felt like she was going to flicker back. She needs to do something. She leans him back so he’s laying down. Okay, okay what usually happened when devices got wet? Usually they got put into a bag of rice- she didn’t have rice. She could try to dry him off? She didn’t have hair, so she didn’t have a hair dryer- wait, Kris had hair. Yes, okay. 

She leaves the room, shuts the door, and rushes to Kris’s room. It was sort of a mess, but she was sure she could find something somewhere. The nearest outlet had a mess of wires. She went towards it. Hair dryers needed an outlet, so it’d be somewhere here, right? She looked at the mess. Nope. She looked under the bed near the mess. She thought she saw something. Getting onto her knees, she reached under the bed. Aha! Hair dryer. Okay. Go, go go.

Rushing back to Ant, she opened and shut the door again. She didn’t care if it was too loud, this was important. His screen had turned off. Shit. She had to hurry. She plugs in the hair dryer and gets to work. 

Thinking about it… what had happened? What would cause him to do something like that? He had been panicky earlier. Just during the first few minutes, the musical had shrunk him a few inches, and brought him to tears. Had something happened before he came back? He must have been out if he wasn’t in his room. Had he gotten into a fight? Seen something particularly scary? She wasn’t sure. 

She could never understand why anyone would do something like this. Sure, sometimes he got upset, but it’d never spiral to something like this, would it? …would it? Of course, she couldn’t go into his head, but he wore his heart on his sleeve, and she could always tell when something was wrong. Maybe she had failed, this one time? And her failure had led to…

—

After a good 15 minutes, he seemed relatively dry. She unplugged the hair dryer, and set it down. She walked back over to Ant, sitting him up and shaking his shoulders a few times. 

His screen flickered. And it turned back on. A groan of pain and-

“ANT- “

Queen said, basically yelling, and hugged him as tight as she could. He was shaking. He looks up at her, realizing he was small enough to be smaller than her as well. He certainly felt as small as he looked.

“Queen…” 

Queen held him for a few more moments. He had never hugged back. But that was fine with her. He was alive. That was all that mattered.

“Ant Sweetie I Thought I’d Lost You”

Queen watched his mouth move, expecting words, but hearing a choked sob instead. He looks to the side, unable to look at her.

“..i’m sorry, Queen…”

“No Sweetie Don’t Apologize” 

She let go of him now, giving him a little space and stepping back.

“If You Are Going To Apologize, Apologize To Yourself Okay” 

He took a deep breath, looking up at her. 

“I… I don’t think I really wanted to… do that. It’s just… all so loud, and my head won’t stop yelling at me- “

Queen thinks for a moment. How was she meant to handle this? She knew she’d never get his reasons for why, but if he hadn’t wanted to, why would he?

“Ant Sweetie I’m Just Glad You’re Okay” 

Ant looks down again. He wanted to look at her. She was pretty. Her face made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. So why couldn’t he do it?

“I Can’t Say I Understand Ant Because I Don’t”

“But I Really Care About You.”

Ant sniffles. Queen’s expression softens.

“If I Had Gotten Here A Moment Late… I Don’t Want To Think About What Would Have Happened.” 

Ant holds his arms out. Queen takes him up on his silent request, holding him tight. He hugs her back.

“...Queen? Can- can we try watching… it again…?”

Queen nodded, going to get his laptop. He knew it reminded him of… him , but he wanted to watch it again. He didn’t want his memories of the man to ruin his favorite musical. If he could watch it now, he could make new memories to attach to the show. Nice memories. He wasn’t sure if Queen would leave like he had or not… but he wanted to trust she wouldn’t. 

Knock Knock.

“Tenna? I heard yelling, is everything okay dude?”

Susie. Queen looks back at Ant, then at the door. She quickly opens the door on the right, blocking Ant from Susie’s view. 

“Susie Hey Not Right Now Me And Tenna Are Being Cool”

“Huh? Uh, is he- “

“Susie Hey Lancer Has A Shiny Rock To Show You I Think You Should Go Do That”

Susie backed off. Finally…

“Oh, another one? Sweet! Maybe he’ll let me eat it this time- “ 

Susie left. Queen shut the door, laptop in hand. She sat on the bed, adjusting to her usual position. Ant adjusted to be in his usual position as well. This time, he was closer to Queen. Leaning on her a bit more. She pulled up the video. He shut his eyes. 

He remembered this. He remembered watching it with… him. But this time, he was watching it with Queen. Maybe he could actually enjoy it this time. 

— 

Ant did indeed enjoy the musical this time. Around 10 minutes in, Ant’s mood had improved. He wasn’t really paying attention. He was more so pointing out all the technical aspects as they happened. Queen was fine with this. She was pretty sure he was happy.

That fact proved itself. A flower popped out of Ant’s nose as he spoke. He stopped talking. A blue orchid. 

“Aww Ant That Is So Cute”

Ant went red at that. 

“Aww shucks, really…? I just got kind of excited… it’s been a while since i’ve seen this…” 

Queen chuckles, looking back at the laptop. She felt a flinch from next to her, and looked to see Ant holding the flower out to her. 

She took the flower.