Chapter Text
“So these will be gone?”
“Yes.”
Go away go away go away go away go away go away go away-
Those will be gone.
Why won’t they go away?
“Hey, no. Stay with me.”
“What- HEY!-” Rumi’s hands clenched to angry fists as Jinu pulled them from her arms, which were now marked with deep, angry scratches carved into her patterns. Almost like incisions… The sight shocked Jinu, his eyes widening further with each second of observation. Rumi paid almost no attention to his reaction, just to how she was suspended. “Let me go! You can’t do this!” Ah- Her voice snapped him back, pausing in disbelief. Is she being serious right now? He shook his head in disapproval. “Can’t do what; stop you from hurting yourself?” “It’s not hurting myself!” Had his hands not been busy, he wouldn’ve clamped his ears down from the volumes she was reaching. He held both of her wrists in one hand and her trembling figure with the other, despite her violent thrashing. That hand rested on the small of her back, pulling her closer. Closer. “You’re bleeding. Does that not define hurting yourself?” At his question, she stilled, glancing up at him. His gaze softened upon her vulnerability. Jinu wanted nothing more than to kiss her right there, to carry and comfort her away from her problems. He wanted to be the one by her side through this storm. Everything about her emanated anger—she looked ready to fight him, sporting a look that could kill—and yet Jinu kept her there, close enough for her to knock him out cold and do who knows what afterwards. A moronic decision is what others would’ve called it, but he just couldn’t help it. He trusted her, knew her better than to take what was on the outside as a final definition. The hand on her back moved to trace her jaw, stopping at the point to tilt her head up. He locked eyes with her, searching. What he found was desperation, terror, agony, exhaustion. He could feel his heart shattering, piece by piece. How could he let her go on like this for so long and not know? Eyes are the window to the soul, they said. But he had looked into those eyes each and every day with a burning flame of admiration and had found nothing. Was he not paying enough attention to her? Had he so easily overlooked the warning signs with excuses of his own exhaustion? Perhaps if he wasn’t so absorbed in his mission or what was easy to see-
“It doesn’t if it’s me trying to fix things.” Or perhaps she had closed the curtains. Jinu watched her eyes vacantly cloud over as she whispered. He sighed hard before letting out a low sigh, letting go of her jaw to tuck a loose strand of hair over her ear before using it to steady the back of her head. “‘Fix’ what?” When Rumi had requested to meet him, he was hoping to see her, the girl he loved. Not whoever this was. Getting no response, an eerie feeling snuck down his spine—shock turned to suspicion. His eyes narrowed, his composure poised as ever. “There’s nothing to fix, is there?” He paused briefly. “Even if there was, this isn’t how you’d ‘fix’ it.” Rumi sniffled, blinking away tears. She’d long given up freeing her hands, but even so, Jinu let one wrist go. He could feel her hand twitching to swipe away tears. He watched as she blinked in shock, observing it before shakily moving it to wipe her tears. Her hand fell to her side. Good. “There is everything to fix. I’m a mistake.” He didn’t recognize that voice, this timid, tired voice. It wasn’t Rumi’s. But, it wasn’t a demon’s, either. “How so?” Carefully, he glanced around them. There was a bench nearby—it was somewhat small, but it’d do. As he guided them both towards it, Rumi spoke. “I’m not- this isn’t supposed to happen. It’s not…” She didn’t need to finish her sentence for him to get the gist. Normal. The bench creaked with their weight. Jinu’s hand was still on her back, but he’d let both of her wrists go. Rumi resorted to resting her head on his shoulder, slumped with her hands on her knees. “I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.” He moved his hand over to the edge of her waist. “It’s…hard.” The blood from Rumi’s arms seeped into his hoodie. “If I can’t be sorry for that, can I be sorry for this?” She sat up, pointing at his sleeve. “...No. It can wash out.” A pang struck his chest. Here she was, defeated, apologizing over things she probably wouldn’t have cared about as much. “...How’re you feeling?” While her arms had mostly clotted, the sight still looked grueling. Was it bad she looked so normal about this, Jinu didn’t know. “Would you like to get those taken care of?” He pointed towards her arms. Where is her hoodie…? The Rumi he knew was one to be conspicuous when out in public. Why was she so…available? “I can do it myself, but thank you.” Internally, he rolled his eyes. Too prideful to accept help, as always. “Are you sure? It looks bad-” “I said-” Her hands squeezed the edge of the bench, her eyes shut. She stayed tense for a couple moments before taking a breath. “Sorry. I’m fine. I got this.” Jinu’s brows creased. “So, will you be taking care of it now, then?” His body felt light without her weight resting on him. “Rumi?” There were only the sounds of night to hear. Eventually, he leaned down to her level, turning to peer at her. The violette’s face had crumpled, lip quivering, eyes squeezed tight.
His voice grew quiet as he stood, crouching in front of her. “Rumi?” The hesitation in Jinu’s voice was evident. “Are you there?” He was starting to detest the sounds of wind chimes, shops, nearby chatter, music, anything that wasn’t Rumi’s voice. If his heart wasn’t completely broken before, it was now. “I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, but-” He was cut off by mumbling, murmuring from the girl. His heart thrummed against his chest. “Hey, there’s my singer. Speak up. What’re you saying?” She stammered, trying to find words, but shook her head in defeat moments later. Jinu was grasping at cards, trying to figure out what to do, till the sound of rapid breathing and chuckling killed the silence. Quiet at first, he almost mistook it for the wind or nearby children. “Was that you?-” At last, Rumi’s head lifted, teary eyes wide, lips smiling with crazed rage. “Isn’t it funny?” She forced a smile. “I’m supposed to be this grand idol, this perfect human. And yet–” Raising a finger, she jabbed at herself. “Here I am. A mess. In front of a demon, no less.” Ouch. Jinu winced at her words, hitting harder than either of them thought. “You know you’re allowed to be like this, right?” When he didn’t get a response, he kept going. “You can’t be perfect all the time. Again, it’s hard.” He took her hand into his. “I’ll always be here for you. I promise.” Rumi stilled once again, not from vulnerability, however. Upon the many things she’d been hiding, one thing was disgust towards herself. The years that passed never helped her fathom what she was. And while she didn’t know much about herself, why she felt like this, why this was happening now—she did know she wanted him to be gone. She yanked her hand back, using it to dust herself off before standing. The moonlight fell on her, but her wounds, more importantly. Her patterns carried a slight glow, only emphasizing the severity of the situation. The outlines of her patterns showed deep scratch marks, almost as if she was trying to claw them out. Because she was, Jinu tried to remind himself. He’d been right about one thing: She carried immense shame. The raven-haired sighed, his eyes lingering on the dried blood as he backed away, giving her space. Part of him wondered if he could pull the stunt he did before, this time in an attempt to at least have some effort to manage her wounds. “You did everything you could. It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay-”
“Stop. Stop. I just- I just want them gone.” As Jinu advanced, Rumi stepped back. “I just want to be normal. There. I said it. Happy?”
Jinu let out another low sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Normal, huh?” He pocketed his hands, studying her with something between shocked amazement and curiosity. “Rumi, you are normal. Well, not fully, but you’re everything it is and more-”
“Am I, though?” She strided forward, causing him to step back further. “Look at me—look at me, Jinu. I am everything and nothing all at once, do not tell me I am normal when I am a Hunter with these.” She gestured widely to her arms, and before either of them knew it, she’d been pulled into his warm embrace, guarded by his welcoming arms as she leaned in and broke, throwing them both off. He pulled his maneuver, she let everything out. Perhaps the pair was comforted that it was a private space they were in, causing them to be so open with each other…
Or so they thought.