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Summary:

@SixBalls posted:

I still feel like last nights stream was a fever dream. i think lbh proposed at some point. what happened to my streamer.

 

@Liusu Mianhua replied:

Your streamer is a simp. Good for him.

 

(drabbles set in the wait, is this live? series)

Notes:

a series of drabbles connected to the wait, is this live? universe! these are just silly goofy thoughts that i'll update whenever inspiration strikes while i work on the next part of the main series!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

TRENDING TOPICS

1. HEAVENLYCUCUMBER

2. LUO BINGHE SIMP

3. HAUGHTY ETERNAL FIENDS PATH

4. HEAVENLY DEMON

5. CUCUMBER BRO

6. DIANXIA BACK

7. HEAVENLY DEMON CANCELLED

8. PHASMOPHOBIA

9. HOUSEHUSBAND LUO BINGHE

10. YUNMENG TRIO NEW VIDEO

See more…



Shang Qinghua:

hey

so

this is kinda awkward

but i figure we’re gonna be working together a lot in the future

so

hi?

Mobei-Jun:

Yes.

 

Shang Qinghua:

okay lol

so

not a talker huh

that’s fine

well

ig lemme send u cucumbers blocklist so far

and then u can send me luo binghes

and we can work together

 

Mobei-Jun:

Alright.

There seems to be multiple trolls in Cucumber_Bro’s chat.

Do you not pay attention?

 

Shang Qinghua:

UM

ok so

first of all rude

second of all i’m not a bad mod

sometimes sy likes to be mean to chat

its enrichment for him ok

he’s a weirdo

if i ban the trolls that aren’t outright weird he gets mad

 

Mobei-Jun:

That seems inefficient.

 

Shang Qinghua:

its ridiculous

but he did get famous by BEING a troll himself

and he is pretty funny sometimes

don’t tell him i said that tho

i cant let him know i find him funny

it shows weakness

 

Mobei-Jun:

The block list?

 

Shang Qinghua:

RIGHT

ok one sec

[Screenshot_72641]



 

Shang Qinghua:

LMFAOOOOO

DID U SEE TRENDING TODAY

 

Shen Yuan:

I did, what the fuck is up with that

Binghe was obviously just joking around

No need for everyone to go apeshit

 

Shang Qinghua:

LMAOOOOOO

absolutely not

can u imagine simping like that on main and it NOT being real

dude wants to bone u

 

Shen Yuan:

I am not talking about this

And especially not to you

 

Shang Qinghua:

who else WOULD u talk to abt this bro

its just me

but fine ill let u live

anyways lbhs mod is an asshole

 

Shen Yuan:

Ice King?

He’s always seemed very professional to me

Never talks in chat

 

Shang Qinghua:

are u trying to tell me something cucumber bro???

 

Shen Yuan:

No!

If I had a problem with the way you ran stream I would tell you

 

Shang Qinghua:

THANK YOU.

thats what i told him

what a dick

 

Shen Yuan:

Who?

Shang Qinghua:

fuckin mobei-jun

im gonna cyberstalk him

 

Shen Yuan:

Why are you trying to cause problems on purpose

 

Shang Qinghua:

IM NOT

im just curious

i decided i hate this guy and now i gotta find a legitimate reason

OH NO HE’S HOT

 

Shen Yuan:

I hate you.

I hope when you stalk him on Instagram you like one of his pictures from four years ago.

 

Shang Qinghua:

BRO!??!?!?!!

UR SO EVIL

Chapter Text

Shen Yuan: Jiu-ge, did you get banned from TikTok AGAIN

Shen Jiu: I don't know what you're talking about.


A TikTok duet plays on a phone screen. The original video is a young man in front of a blackboard, pictures of Shen Yuan, Luo Binghe, and their streamer profiles all connected through red yarn. He says, "I think I've cracked the case.  Heavenlycucumber have been secretly dating for three years—"

The video cuts off as the duet plays. It is Shen Jiu, incredibly close to the camera. He is visibly furious. His username is ShenJiu17.  He only says two words before stopping the video. "Kill yourself."

When attempting to click on ShenJiu17, it reads that the account is unable to be found.


Shen Yuan: YOU CAN'T JUST TELL PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES ON THE INTERNET

THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ON ACCOUNT SEVENTEEN

Shen Jiu: I can, I will, I am.

Look, I just did it again.

Shen Yuan: Jiu-ge, PLEASE

It's just a meme at this point!! It's not like Luo Binghe would ever even be interested in me, it's harmless fun

Shen Jiu: That's what you think.

He has evil intentions. 

I can read him like a book. He has absolutely rancid energy. 

Do better. 

No, really, you can do better. Kick him to the curb.

In fact, just block him and publicly shame him.

Shen Yuan: I'm telling Qi-ge.

Shen Jiu: It's funny you think he doesn't already know. Who do you think helps me make the new accounts?

Shen Yuan: STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES

Shen Jiu: Fine.


Another TikTok plays. It's a duet of another Heavenlycucumber shipper. The video pauses as Shen Jiu pops up again. All he does is look at the camera for a few seconds with an incredibly disgusted face. Somehow, it's more cutting than any other TikTok he's ever made. The account name is ShenJiu29.

Notes:

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