Chapter Text
“I’m just...” You sigh plopping your head down on the lounge table in a way you’re fairly glad your students can’t see. “Lonely I suppose. I know it’s been years now but an empty house can be terribly depressing.”
Catty gives your arm a sympathetic pat. “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I remember how it is - you know I’ve only been living with Bratty for a few months!” She hesitates and then lowers her voice, “You know, if you, uh, ever get really lonely? I mean you can always call me girl, just to talk or whatevs, but - ” frowning she fumbles with her purse until she pulls out a crumpled card, “Just call this place ok? You have to pay and stuff, but they're really good, for uh, talking???” She winks.
You chuckle. “Now dear, I don’t think I’m quite that desperate yet.” Though it is very nice of her to give you the number of what you assume to be some sort of counselling or advice line.
You end up tucking the card into your pocket anyway.
===
Well then, here you are. Home alone on a friday night and feeling like a very sad old lady. You already made a pie when you got home, and now you’re just kind of looking at it and trying not to think about the fact that you’ll have to eat it alone. The kids never really did like snail but Asgore would have loved it.
You don’t even have a cat, you really are doing this whole ‘living alone’ thing wrong aren't you.
You still have that card.
Sighing and mentally preparing yourself for talking on the phone with a stranger you fumble your cellphone and the crumpled card out of your pocket. Darn, you forgot to ask what exactly this was? Oh well, at worst you embarrass yourself terribly and get a bit of a laugh before you make yourself go to bed early.
You carefully press the numbers and end up only having to redo it once because of your big fingers, you feel almost proud. “Helloooo ~ and welcome to intimate connections!” The name seems a little over the top. How do you pay for this anyway? Does it just happen automatically through the phone? “If you would like a woman, press 1. If you would like a man, press 2! Remember that if you like who you’re connected to you can press the pound button and we will remember them the next time you call ~ !” You frown, and hesitantly try to press the 1 but slip and end up pressing 2. Oh well, it’s not like it really matters all that much.
You wait a minute, nerves chewing at you as it connects and almost hang up immediately as the deepest voice you’ve ever heard purrs, “Hey baby, are you ready for a good time?”
Things click into place and you feel mortification pooling in your gut. “Oh my goodness. This is a sex line isn’t it?” You cannot believe that Catty thought you were lonely enough to give you the number of a sex line, that they have presumably used before??? Wow.
There’s silence on the other end for a second and then, wheezing? Is the sex line person alright?!
“Sorry, sorry! It’s just. You sound so surprised and horrified oh my god, did someone give you this number as a prank? That is the best.”
You must look so silly to this young man, despite your mortification you find yourself snorting on your own laugh. “Oh my! I am so sorry. Oh darn, I’m sure she thought she was being perfectly clear, thinking back she did wink at me when she gave me this number.”
“Oh my godddd, w-” He chokes on a snort. “What did you think the number was for?”
Making someone laugh this hard, even if it’s over your own silliness, is actually damping the mortification a bit. “I thought it was an, an advice line or something! Or counseling, which I really should get from a more reputable source then my TA.”
The man has gone right back to wheezing and you do really hope he doesn't pass out from lack of oxygen. “Wow. Wow lady. This is the best thing to happen to me all day.” He coughs, probably trying to get himself back under control. “Uh, and this might be weird - I mean you should probably hang up pretty quick, I forget how much this thing costs? But I could give you some advice if you want, since you're not here to flick your bean and all.”
The term ‘flick your bean’ has you both shaking with laughter and wanting to slam your head into the wall out of sheer mortification. “Well I am glad to have brightened someone's day, even if it was at the cost of stumbling onto an adult phone line.” You only have one idea of what his advice could be. “If the advice is to not to call strange numbers without knowing who exactly I’m calling I do think I’ve figured that out!”
He actually sounds a bit nervous as he tries to fight through the aftermath of laughter to respond “No no I mean, like, don’t do that either but, okay so I assume you’re a teacher or something if you have a TA. Which means you have some kind of insurance, just.” He pauses, “Check over your plan and see if it covers mental health services, and whether or not you need a referral from your regular doctor.”
You blink. This is not really what you were expecting.
“If you want to try it out don’t worry too much about being ‘bad enough’ for anything. Counseling is definitely meant to be preventative, so things don’t get bad enough for you to absolutely need it.” He coughs in a way that sounds distinctly embarrassed, “I mean, I know it's not something everyone wants to try it and I might be misjudging you or whatever. Remember that all I know about you was that you called a weird number thinking it might be counselling." His voice has trailed off into a mumble but picks up again as he takes a breath "Anyway, other than that, there are real counselling lines. I don’t know much about them but I’m sure google can help you out. If you prefer online and want a place to just talk some things out 'seven cups of tea' is pretty nice, or 'I'm alive' for emergencies, though that’s more of a suicide prevention thing, which I kind of hope you don’t need.”
You are somewhat in shock over the unexpected information and you feel warmth forming in your chest at the thought of this person, somewhere, trying to help a stranger. “One second young man.” You grab some sticky notes of the counter and fumble a pen out of your purse. “Repeat those names and tell me if there’s any strange spelling”
He honest to goodness giggles “Young man? Oh my god you are a teacher. Okay okay - 7cupsoftea, the number seven, not the word, no spaces. IMAlive is one word, no apostrophe.” You write the names down and resolve to at least look at the websites. “Oh, and for general counseling, if you don’t need a referral, which you probably don’t, just call or email a mental health services department that you’re covered for and set up an intake. If you want to, I mean. Warning, counselors can be super helpful, but half of them are pretentious balls of shit so don't feel bad about switching around until you find someone you like and who works well for you.”
You’re scribbling notes, and actually seriously considering this, to tell the truth. “I will not, and I must say thank you so much, this obviously isn’t what you were planning to deal with when you sat down to take calls today.”
“Hey, no problem, this was more fun than most of what I do for this job.” He pauses for a second and then says very seriously “And hey, make sure you don’t sleep too much, okay?”
You wonder what he could mean by that. You feel the tiniest bit creeped out. “Um. Why not?”
“Well, you might get deep rest.”
It takes you a moment to work out the pun and then you’re howling with laughter. He cracks half a second later and then you’re cackling together. Whenever one of you starts to calm down, the other one will start giggling and it starts all over again. By the time you both calm down you’ve plopped yourself into your reading chair and you’re pretty sure you’re running the the bill up at this point.
“Well this has been lovely but I should actually hang up at some point, before I have to take out a loan as the price of being loan-ly!”
“You’re killing me lady. Oh yeah, I guess you should.” he sounds a bit disappointed and you hesitate, it’s a bit juvenile but you might as well leave this on another joke.
“Before I go I should say, knock knock!”
He inhales and you think he’s going to laugh again but instead he responds eagerly “Who’s there?”
“Egg.” This is very silly, but it’s too late now.
“Egg who?”
“It was eggslent to meet you!”
He’s silent and you flush, feeling like a fool. But then, in a breathlessly amazed voice that makes you blush for a completely different reason he asks, “Do you have a skype?”
You have no idea what that is, but considering the world of messaging today you can guess it is some sort of online communication system. Thinking quickly you stall for time “Now I am quite sure you could get in trouble for asking that!”
“I mean yeah totally, but I have other jobs so I figure it’s worth the risk.”
A sensible person would, at this point, hang up and stay away from the phone for at least a year. Instead you hum in a way that sounds like you’re considering. “Give me yours and I will,” you pause and cross your fingers “Friend you!” That’s the term for most of these things right?
He gives you the username ‘sanskeleton64’ and tells you it’s fine if you don’t use it, but to let him know how counselor stuff goes if you want to.
“Good luck lady.”
You press the pound button before hanging up.