Chapter Text
See, the problem with being the baby of the family is that, well, you're the baby and pretty much always will be. Having three protective older siblings can be a fine and useful thing. Its easier to leap when you know someone is going to be there to catch you. Having three overprotective older siblings is a pain in the ass. A smothering, stifling, confining pain in the ass.
Nevermind that I outraced a dozen of auntie's twisted constructs at once all coming from different directions at once before a thirteenth got me. I gave them such a good chase none ever got near Raph. Never mind that I saved over four hundred of our poor injured younger brothers from the clutches of the leviathan when we were herding them into pergatory. I still say they were too young for that and throwing bodies at something is no substitute for tactics which you would have had Michael if you'd just listened to Luci even if he was being a dick about it. Never mind that I was the only one to teach a late blooming fledgeling to fly so well that we never needed step in for any more individual flying lessons. Never mind all that because apparently little Gabriel is a delicate flower to be sheltered and protected at all costs and nothing will convince those three otherwise.
That's not to say I didn't get in trouble. The aforementioned flying lessons as a notable example. And sure, now that I'm older and wiser maybe I was a little reckless. I still maintain that while yes, I may have irreparably scarred the poor kid for life, that's better than letting him die. And as it turned out having a healthy skepticism and belief of the fallibilty of your angellic superiors ingrained so deeply in your psyche that even multiple wipings cant get rid of it completely isn't such a bad thing. (Because you are all very fallible and you know it, Michael, Lucifer, and holy fuck Raph, what the hell! You were the rational, steady one for dad's sake.)
Anyways a fear of the ocean isnt even all that bad either. Humans generally stay on dry land and you have to admit it was funny as hell when he freaked out and tried to smite the precursor of all humanity when the fish started to leave the ocean. Not even a proper smiting, he was going it step on it. Of course my brothers couldn't see the humor. Michael gave me that 'I blame you for this' look that he usually sent Luci's way in regards to me. Of course that made it even funnier and I laughed so hard I dropped out of the sky. Dad didn't admit to finding it amusing, but he didn't say otherwise either. And come on, if dad didn't have a sense of humor, none of us would, right?
I didn't really get punished often because generally I didn't exactly go against the rules. Actually a good deal of the rules were created because of me. One slow era of creation I was so bored that I'd try and see how many new rules I could get created. After Luci figured out what I was doing he would sometimes give me a challenge. Could I get this certain color banned on this specific day? Could I get an absurd hairstyle forbidden? Can I add something to the list of things we're not allowed to do with our loose feathers? The weird thing is a lot of challenges ended up exposing pretty big flaws in our training processes.
Anyway, punishment, not really. Consequences sure. Like being banned from visiting the fledgelings in the garden until Dad got home from work and we discussed my questionable training method. Which was fair. Then there was the time Luci bound me wing and limb and tossed me to the bottom of an empty sea then stood on me for pranking him and Michael. And then there were the complete overprotective over reactions.
Oh, Gabriel runs to the edge of oblivion when we argue because it's the only place to get some damn peace? Let's move the entire abyss to some unreachable place because thats so much more reasonable than stopping all the damn fighting that's driving him up the wall in the first place.
And you think that the mark Lucifer got sealing away the darkness is slowly corrupting him and possibly infecting Gabriel, too, by mere proximity? By no means let Gabriel know any of that. Don't even consider telling him anything. Just ban him from the throne room even though he's the only thing between Luci and complete and utter lonliness most of the time.
Obviously it's better to let me think that it was my fault my brothers clashed so much and that I just wasn't enough to get through to him before he snapped and got himself kicked out. After all when trying to talk my big brother down from that particular ledge why would that have been useful to know at all?
But no, it was always this is for your own good, Gabriel. Or you'll understand later, Gabriel. And, don't tell Gabriel now. Honestly I'm surprised I didn't split long before Luci ever did. Of course there wasn't anything to run to way back when. Nature was nice but lonely. Granted, the edge of the abyss was solitary but it was peaceful, serene, empty. There was no lonliness, because there was just nothing. Except myself and a gentle pull that felt like being wanted, that called to me. But that option was gone. You can't run away to the circus if there's no circus.
So I was kind of desperate for something to do. It was quiet right after I started getting even with Michael and Lucifer for removing my sanctuary and Raphael for tattling on me in the first place. They tried to involve me more in other things like the training and such, but that never lasted long. So I was just constantly bugging everyone for some task to do. I was trying to be good and not cause more trouble. Their last fight kind of wrecked the garden and I just tried not to be such a pain. That didn't work as apparently I can't help getting in the way no matter what I do. They actually went to dad and begged him to manufacture something for me to do that didn't spread chaos and discord. I still dont understand how simply asking for constructive tasks did that, but whatever.
So Dad on one of his frequent returns to give Luci a break from the throne room had me stay and get kind of a peek at his big plan. I was his messenger after all and he had a fairly impressive outline of his master plan done already. He let me know my parts. I'd be delivering his messages to mankind, the thing he had made everything up to and beyond that moment for. When the time in the future came for those sets of messages I'd just know what to do for who. Of course that didn't strike me as particularly helpful as none of those times were right that second.
That's when he explained the nature of time to me, which was incredibly interesting and even more so a teeming mass of headaches and confusion, something about how every possible choice that can be made will be made and is being made, threads of reality with one starting point and one eventual ending and infinite divergences in between, including a reality in which I was actually paying attention to everything he was saying.
I love hearing my father's voice and even now I miss it like anything, but the whole lecture kind of reminded me of Michael explaining the purpose of basic tactics and benefits of repetative training manuevers and it was just so hard to pay attention. My mind started to wander I admit it, but even the quickest of us can't keep up with the big guy at full speed and his words soon became just a soothing hum until he got to the important stuff.
"What I'm getting at, Gabriel, my little angel of adhd," he sounded amused so I wasn't at all bothered by the fact that I didn't understand what a hillariously appropriate though affectionate label he gave me."Is that you have a choice before you now. You can continue to flit about heaven or I can have you get most of your work done early, while I'm finishing up here."
"Well, which is the best decision in the long run?" Because I thought it was a good question.
"I just explained to you in detail why I can't possibly answer that question." He was very nice about reminding me.
"Oh." And since anything was better than doing nothing I decided to do it. Why not right? I'd be out of my brother's hair, no more boredom and i'd get a sneak peak at what dad was working on before anyone else, a new set of skills, bending time, an illusion better than any Luci could teach me to make a sort of light puppet mini me, what a vessel was a how to ask to use it. And what's more is that when all of it was done, I'd be free and my brothers would be free and we could all frolic in creation together. Ha, fucking ha, dad! Oh, I know you probably have some answer as to how there was a reality where you didn't let me think it was true and one where it actually was true. But that's not the point Dad and if Lucifer had kept his complaints and blame to you and you alone I probably would have agreed and left with him. But you don't go kick puppies because daddy's being mean. That's not okay.
Of course I wasn't allowed to reveal my messages to anyone but the recipient. And any time I'd had enough or needed a break I could come home and let time resume its course. If I needed help in whatever time I was in I could of course call for my brothers but our interactions should be fairly limited. I also wouldn't be allowed to redeliver or interfere later as doing so on that scale would break the thread entirely. Instead of just snarl it a little in certain places with a few tiny time loops.
And so the whole thing with Daniel was as much my fault as anyone else's. But it wasnt all my fault and if im a little bitter about that giant humiliating, exhilerating, embarassing clusterfuck that was my time as messenger to the prophet Daniel of Babylon, then I kind of feel I have a right to be. After all it wasn't my choice to have my brothers decide that past me was better off not knowing what was so close to happening and therefore pretty much ensuring it happened. As if a thread where I was losing my brother to his own darkness wasn't one worth splintering.
Instead it made it one of those whole self fulfilling loops that led me to burning down all those theaters that decided multiple competing productions of Oedipus Rex were a good idea.(relax i undid it) And if i did happen to turn into an eagle and drop a turtle on the head of a certain father of greek tragedy, let me assure you that wasn't my only reason. Nor was it the sheer hilarity of making that his epitaph. He deserved it even by the standards of the time. I should have had him killed by a dewey eyed bear cub but that reference was millenia away. What good is a joke if no one gets it?
Moving on.....