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The team slowly walked up onto the platform and gently approached the person bent over the body on the table. Zach was telling her what had happened to the victim. Angela glanced at Hodgins and sighed heavily. The team didn't know how to react to the way Brennan had started acting. She wasn't herself, well she was, but she had closed off even more than before. She didn't smile when you talked to her, she wouldn't look you in the eye.
Angela had tried for days to get her to leave the lab, but she wouldn't or she said she left but no one knew for sure. The way her clothes hung from her body indicated that she barely ate. Booth had a big impact on her eating schedule. Cam had left a sandwich each morning for her but had sadly taken it away untouched in the afternoons.
The few times Sweets had approached her to talk she had turned her chair away from him and waited for him to leave. She wouldn't say a word to him. To anyone. She wasn't the same person anymore.
Once in a while she would get a phone call, she would rush up to close the door and talk to the person with her back to the glass wall of her office. When she hung up, she would wipe away a few tears and eat an apple.
"Dr. Brennan.." Hodgins's voice broke through Brennan's thoughts. "It's time"
"I'm not going." She said shortly and turned her attention back to the body in front of her.
"Losing a loved one-" Sweets began.
"A partner." She said swallowing hard. "I lost a partner, Sweets." These words were the first she had spoken to Sweets since Booth had passed away.
Sweets opened his mouth to speak but Angela gestured for him to shut it again. "Sweetie.." Brennan froze at the soft voice on her right. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" Angela asked gently. Brennan took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she walked over to Angela, who had walked away from the table.
"You have to go to this funeral, please do it for me." Angela said quietly, searching for Brennan’s eyes.
"I can't, Angela.." Brennan’s voice cracked as she got the words out. "I can't cry anymore, I can't sleep, I can't -" She said, dropping her head to her chest and covering her face with her hands.
"I’ll be there for you when they-" Angela got interrupted by Brennan shaking her head.
"I can't see them putting him in the ground," She said softly. "Then it will be real, it can't be real." She added.
"We can close our eyes and turn around," Angela suggested softly. "He would want you to be there.."
"I know he would." Brennan whispered. She walked away from the team and took off her lab coat. They stayed on the platform and watched her walk to her office. She hung up her lab coat and glanced at the photo on her desk. "I'm only doing this for you, and Angela" She whispered and grabbed her coat.
The team had ascended the platform and stood at the entrance waiting for her. "I’ll drive in my own car if that is alright with you," She said as she got closer to the group. They glanced at each other and back to her and nodded.
"Of course Sweetie," Angela responded and gestured for the door. Brennan quickly walked ahead of the team and they followed her.
The ride to the graveyard seemed to last ages and Brennan could barely control her breathing. She drove in silence, only the sound of the car made noise in her ears. She should have taken the bullet, she should be the one laying there. She thought over and over again.
Brennan guided her car into a parking spot and quickly got out of it to wait for the rest of the team. She drove on her own because if the funeral got too tough she could run. Run as far as she can.
When the team arrived and parked beside her, Angela quickly got out to stand by her best friend. It didn’t matter that she had cried for days. Her friend was broken apart with no way of fixing her. She thought that the funeral would help, to help her cope with the fact that the love of her life, yes, Brennan would deny it, had passed away all too soon.
They gathered around the casket that hung over the hole in the ground. A priest stood with his bible beside the flower arrangement and talked quietly to Caroline. The FBI had to arrange his funeral for him. Brennan glances around at the people who had come to say goodbye. No parker. Why is there no Parker? She thought.
The priset welcomed the gathering to the event that had broken a lot of hearts. He talked about god. Brennan didn’t care for a god. If he existed, this wouldn't have happened. She told Angela this outloud without thinking.
Before they knew it the casket laid open on the ground and Booth stood in front of them panting. "Nice shot, Bones," He exclaimed, smiling at her. She dropped the arm she was holding and stood frozen. His smile faded and he furrowed his brows. "What-?" He started asking but Brennan slowly backed away and then ran to her car. He turned his head to Angela. "She didn’t know?" Booth asked her softly.
"Does it look like she knew?" Angela asked
Brennan made it safely to the only place she could breathe. Her office. She locked the door and sat on the floor in front of the sofa. The team split up, Angela and Hodgins drove to the lab after Brennan, Cam drove Booth to the FBI to find out what happened and Sweets stayed behind with Caroline.
"How could she not have known?" Booth exclaimed, marching into Cullen's office. Cullen's head whipped up to see Booth standing in front of him.
"Who should've known what?" He simply asked, leaning back in his chair.
"I wrote a list, a very short list. Bones, pops, parker. Three people. Why wasn't Bones told?" He asked, pushing the chair in front of him.
"Agent Booth calm down." Cullen stood up and put his hands on his desk.
"I’ll calm down when my partner trusts me again" He said harshly. "Who. Had. The list?" He asked, punctuating his words.
"Dr. Sweets had the list." Cullen said shortly. "He was told to tell everyone." He added. "But-"
"No, no buts." Booth responded before Cullen could finish his sentence.
" But Dr. Brennan wouldn't let Sweets talk to her," Cullen repeated himself.
"Then you should have told me," Booth exclaimed. "Or told her yourself."
"She wouldn't leave her office and I barely had time to leave mine." Cullen explained.
"You could have made time," Booth said, turning towards the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a doctor to talk some sense into." With that, he left Cullen's office.
"Agent Booth, you caught the guy," Booth heard from the elevators.
"No thanks to you kid." Booth said, approaching him. Sweets put his arms up in defence and stood against the wall.
"No need to let out your anger on me." He said, taking a step closer to the wall. "I tried, twice a week," He added.
"Twice a week?" Booth repeated. "You should have told her through a door, with her back turned to you," Booth exhaled. "I don't fucking care how you should have told her. You just should have." He said, pushing Sweets against the wall and walked away.
Brennan took a few deep breaths before standing up and walked over to her desk. She started looking through her case files, slowly going through them and sorting them. She put down the latest case file where it belonged and put her hands over the files.
"I thought you knew." Booth said softly at the door.
"I locked the door for a reason." She said shortly and walked further into the room with her back against him. He gently closed it behind him.
"I know, and I have a key for a reason," He said with a soft smile. The smile faded as he noticed that she wouldn't turn around. "I thought you knew." He whispered quietly. Quiet enough to barely reach her ears. She took a deep breath and put her hand against her throat trying to breathe with more ease.
"My sleepless- My sleepless nights tell me.." She tried responding to his whisper. "No, I didn’t know." She said instead in a short tone trying to cover up the fact that tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"I would've told you myself." He tried.
"Then why didn't you?" She asked softly.
"I.. I really thought you knew, it's Sweets fault, all of it," He said and walked closer to her. Her breathing quickened as he got near. "Listen.." He said standing behind her.
"What?" She said turning around and meeting his eyes. Her brows furrowed and he saw tears forming in her eyes. She pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips for a split second and then let them drop again.
"I'm sorry." He said in a whisper.
“You’re dead.” She got out in a cracked voice. “I saw-” She took a deep breath and touched her nose slightly. “I saw you die- I had-” She looked down at her hands. “I had your blood on my hands, and-” She paused and glanced up at him before looking away, not daring to look at him for too long. “I sat for hours and waited for them to say that you were okay, I waited-” She put her hand over her mouth to try to hold in her sobs. “You’re not here.” She whispered.
“I’m here, I’m here.” He said, putting his hands gently on her arms.
“No, No you’re not, you’re dead.” She exclaimed and backed away from him.
He slowly started taking off his tie. “I promise I’m here.” He whispered, he dropped the tie on the ground. He unbuttoned his shirt one button at a time to not scare her. “I had to catch a guy we’ve been after for years.” He shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders. “Last time he saw me,” He laid his shirt over the chair beside him. “He told me that the next I would see him would be at my funeral,” He swiftly took off his wife beater and laid it over his shirt.
She glanced down to the bandage on his chest. “That’s- That’s where..” She got out quietly. He nodded softly and grabbed her hand. He stepped closer and put her hand on the bandage.
“You feel that?” He whispered. She glanced slowly up into his eyes. He put two fingers on her hand and tapped in the beat with his heart. “I’m here, I promise,” She furrowed her brows and shifted her feet to find her balance. She glanced down at their joined hands over his bandages.
She put her other hand on his chest beside the first one. She held her gaze on her hands for a moment, just breathing. She softly let her head fall against his shoulder and he put his arms around her. “You’re not dead.” She whispered against his skin.
“I’m not dead.” He repeated and kissed her temple and held her closer.
Angela stopped in her tracks when she saw the scene unfold in front of her eyes. He slowly pulled her against him and a few moments later her arms wrapped around his waist. She smiled softly. They stood far enough into her office to have the privacy they needed. No one needed to see Brennan at her most vulnerable state.
Hodgins walked up behind her “Is she..” He saw the scene in front of them. “..Okay?” His voice died down and his lips matched the soft smile Angela held. They watched the pair for what seemed forever. They saw Brennan relax for the first time in weeks. Which in turn made Angela relax. “Can we finally sleep at home tonight instead of the van?” Hodgins whispered beside her. Angela turned to him and smiled.
“I think so, she’ll be alright..” She said softly as she took his hand before they walked out.
Booth noticed how her breaths became slower and her grip loosened around his waist. He slowly let go of her but then her grip tightened again. “No, you’re not leaving,” She said quietly. He smiled softly and squeezed her once before releasing her.
“I’m not leaving, we’re leaving.” He said and touched her nose gently. “A bird told me that you haven’t slept much, if even at all.” He looked at her with concern.
“I napped.” She defended herself. “And birds can’t speak.” She said in confusion.
“It’s a saying, someone told me about your sleeping schedule” He said putting on his wife beater. “We are fixing that now,” He continued and pulled on his dress shirt and started buttoning them up. “I’m guessing they shut off my electricity and-” He added before being interrupted.
“No they didn’t, It’s on.” She said quickly, not letting him finish. He raised his brows and buttoned the last button.
“And how do you know that?” He asked, smiling.
“I might’ve gone to your place once or twice to sleep,” She said to the floor. “I might've.” She added. He smiled and walked over to the door to open it as she followed.
“That’s why you have the spare key.” He winked and placed his hand on her lower back as they walked out of the jeffersonian.