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Tango was a coward-
He knew it too.
It was the mantra stuck in his head.
Because he was a coward.
He fled when he could fight-
He prioritized his own survival over his family’s
He was a selfish, selfish Coward!
Venom seeped into the word.
It became poison to his soul
But mercy to his mind.
It was addictive to say and hurt more every time.
He couldn’t stop though.
It hurt, but it was the truth. And he wouldn’t let himself forget what he had done.
As a way of punishing to himself, Tango was living in an alleyway, tucked under a dumpster where the stench of garbage only aided in his self hatred and punishment.
This is what Cowards deserve.
It had been two weeks since his escape, in since then Tango learned that when it rained the space under the dumpster flooded.
He learned that every Sunday the dumpster was picked up by a terrifying truck with loud horns and flashing lights.
And he learned quickly after that if he wanted to eat anything-
He needed to be quick.
Between the ravenous rats and scrawny alley cats, Tango needed to be fast to scavenge anything edible and he needed to hide.
Otherwise he would very quickly become someone else’s snack.
He might hate himself, but he didn’t want to die-
If he was going to be a selfish coward who abandoned his family, he owed it to them to at least live long enough in these conditions to pay for what he had done
(It never would be enough-)
Though the might be closer than he would’ve necessarily liked.
Because he had also managed to catch the nastiest never ending cold ever known to Borrower kind.
The type that killed even the healthiest borrowers and humans alike.
Pneumonia.
A stupid, stupid sickness that fricken sucked!!!
He’s not surprised but was still frustrated by it.
It made his mind sluggish and sapped all his energy away.
It made it harder to get food,
And he needed some if he was going to live- (right?)
And if he wanted any he needed to move right now-
A lazy human just dropped half an eaten hot dog on the ground a little ways away from his dumpster.
Rarely did he get not rotten food.
So this-
Was luxury.
For the sake of his survival, and stomach.
He needed to get that hot dog.
<><><>
Zedaph was so hungry!!
Okay maybe that was an exaggeration, he wasn’t starving or anything.
but from the way his tummy rumbled, Zed knew he should probably stop on his way home from work to grab a bite to eat-
Gas station food was totally healthy for a growing boi- right?
Either way it was cheap-
So it was perfect, after all Zed had student loans to pay, he could afford to be frivolous.
The nice lady at the cashier bagged three taquitos for him, and veggie kind that had all those yummy spices and cream cheese mixed in-
It should be enough to tide him over till he made super tonight.
He snacked on one as he continued to walk home.
The walk itself wasn’t technically a long one,
But the walk at rush hour? While sidewalks grew more and more packed as nearby traffic starting to get backed up-
It took longer-
He kinda wished he had a pair of headphones to wear to tone down the noise of cars honking their horns obnoxiously
maybe that way it would make it less frustrating when people kept bumping into him and invading his space.
That was really annoying-
He tried to stick it out-
Tried to be normal enough to make it through just one walk-!
But if he didn’t escape this crowd soon he was going to punch someone-
And that wouldn’t be very nice-
Only a few meters ahead there was an alley, maybe he could sneak through that, hopefully it wasn’t a dead end,
That would probably be worse case scenario.
…
Actually worst case scenario was probably Zed getting mugged or murdered in the darker alley…
But…
It was probably fine.
He fought his way through the crowd, just in time to slip into the alley’s entrance and take a deep breath. And escape the overstimulating environment-
His two remaining taquitos were slightly mangled in Zed’s hand but- still perfectly edible.
No reason to waste food-
He stuffed the second taquito into his mouth and looked around the alleyway, scanning his surroundings-
There was a dumpster, some fire escapes and three cats fighting over a dirty half eaten hot dog-
Gross-
They were meowing and hissing at each other and-…
Wait, was that hot dog rolling on its own?
One of the cats (the orangest one of course) hissed at the hot dog and swatted at it, and a small little creature got tossed to the side.
Maybe he was too empathetic towards smaller creatures, even if they were mice or vermin.
They still deserved to eat too!
“Hey! You nasty cats, leave the mousies alone-!” He walked over, shooing them away with his hands-
His presence and voice were enough to scare them off-
Which left only the little mouse alone laying on the floor-
But the closer Zed got-
The less it looked like a little mouse.
It almost looked like…. A tiny person?
Zedaph tucked away his remaining taquito into the kangaroo pouch of his pink hoodie and knelt next to the tiny guy-
He had blond hair, but it was very dirty that it almost looked brown-
And his cloths were shredded and partially made of trash-
Not only that but this little guy also had a little tail, with a tuft of bright red fur right on the end of it-
So he wasn’t human exactly, but he still definitely looked like a person enough for Zedaph to become worried.
The little person was struggling to push himself up to his feet, but staggered once he was up-
Zedaph instinctively reached out his hand to stabilize him.
Only for the little person to collapsed onto Zed’s hand, and the human could almost hear him mutter a few things in delirium before he began coughing his lungs out-
Zed had so many questions, and a fair amount of confusion about the whole situation.
But a few things were clear-
This is a little person-
Who is sick and probably beaten up.
It was Zed’s job to protect him-
The human cradled the tiny in his hand before slowly bringing him up to his chest and keeping him close-
In the process he could feel his own racing heart beat through the think hoodie he was wearing.
He couldn’t explain it- but as he began walking back home,
braving the crowd for the sake of another-
He couldn’t help but think about his school days.
Where he’d get bullied by the older kids for being weird, or having an accent or being too smart.
They would torment him on the playground
And when he tried to hide they would track him down.
They made his life hell!
So much so he tried to change the way he was to fit in better-
He dumbed down his school work, and did his best to mimic an American accent-
But then they flipped the script. And bullied him because he was too dumb and how is accent was trash.
And that’s when he learned that those bullies were just picking on him because he was an easy target-
The runt of his class
Someone who couldn’t fight back-
Someone weak-
Until another grown up kid stepped up protected him!
Zedaph could still remember those bright lapis blue eyes and stark blank hair.
He got the pleasure of knowing him down in his adult life too!
(Not that he told Skizz this- the older man didn’t seem to remember and it felt too awkward to bring up-)
But since that day Zed knew, if he ever had the chance to protect someone else-
He would-
Because he knew what it felt like to be the little guy in a fight.
And he didn’t want anyone else to have to feel like that-
<><><>
Fast forward back to the present.
Zedaph had made it back to his little three room apartment.
His kitchen and living room were the same room-
And a small hallway sprouted between them leading to a cramped washroom and alright sized Bedroom.
It wasn’t much, but it was home- and more importantly it safe and warm.
Zedaph looked down into his hand to check on his tiny passenger to find him passed out asleep in his palm.
He might’ve ’awwwed’ at the sight but considering the circumstances he decided against it.
Instead he took a couch pillow and set it flat on the kitchen counter-
Then as carefully as he could he transferred the little guy from his hand to the centre of the pillow.
The small blond’s face twisted in discomfort, and he curled into himself, wiry tail wrapping around his shivering body.
he was cold,
Zedaph took a look around for something to could use as a blanket- then spotted the tissue box sitting not to far away-
He gathered around 6 tissues in his hands before pressing them together and then laid them over the poor little guy-
Said little guy probably had a name-
But Zed felt awkward just calling him little guy.
Maybe a nickname?
Or-
Well the end of his little tail was Red, that was fairly distinct-
perhaps we could just call him that
Little Red-
Or just Red.
Either probably worked.
Till he found out if he had a real name that is.
Red caught Zed’s attention again when he started coughing.
The sound was hoarse and painful
And the Human couldn’t help feel pity-
He’s been sick plenty times, had to take that yucky cough syrup to soothe his aching throat-…
Wait…
He had cough syrup…!
He would have to do the maths so he didn’t give Red too much but- Maths weren’t ever a struggle for Zed so the conversion was fairly simple.
And soon after he was measuring out some cough syrup into a bottle cap, the human turned his attention back to little Red
He would need to be awake if he was going to take the medicine.
And Zed hesitantly reached out to nudge Red’s shoulder-
“Hey em… little guy?… Red? I have medicine for you, but you need to wake up-“
<><><>
Tango was a coward-
He was able to escape.
He told himself he’d come back for his brothers-
But he didn’t-
He just ran.
And now they were gone-
Impulse, Bdubs-
He failed them.
No worse than that
You killed them.
The venom returned, it’s poison truth - sharp and bitter.
Tango couldn’t even live in their memories, the last thing he remembered was being surrounded by three fearal cats-
Trying to steal his food.
He had been so hungry, he couldn’t just abandon the chance at food-
Then one had swatted him-
And he went tumbling across the hard ground-
His body was soar, his head felt woozy and he swore he heard a voice saying something like ‘shoe? Shoe?’ Did he lose another shoe?
Did the cats steal it?
Oh yeah the cats-
Those would kill him if he didn’t move-
He had to-
Don’t be weak and a coward Tango, get up!
He struggled and wobbled trying to get his feet under himself-
In the end he was able to push himself up to his feet, standing for all of five seconds before collapsing.
He expected to hit the concrete.
To feel pain
But instead he hit something soft… and warm?
He was dead-
He had to be-
You left your family for nothing- you could’ve survive without them.
You left them to die,
Now you are dead.
Serves you right-
You deserve this-
Coward.
Weakling.
Selfish.
Disappointment.
You’re not enough.
You didn’t save them-
“Little guy-?”
Selfish!-
“Hey Red? I have medicine, but you need to wake up-“
Worthless!-
“Please wake up-“
Coward!-
Someone was nudging his shoulder, which was strange considering he was dead.
Then he opened his eyes.
Which was also strange for someone who was supposed to be dead.
He was staring up at something white, and when he looked around, he saw a pink and yellow blob-
“Oh thank goodness your awake-“ the blob said in a gentle and warm voice
Tango’s mind was foggy, probably from the sickness- but perhaps he was hallucinating blobs now-
“Impy?? Dubs?? That u-?”
His own voice sounded awful.
“Um… no I’m sorry- my name is Zedaph… or Zed for short.”
“Oh-… sorry… I don’t-… know you-“ Tango was pretty sure he didn’t know any Zedaph’s at least.
“You don’t but-…. You’re sick and hurting… I wanted to help… you Red-“
“Who’s Red?-…”
“Oh uhh sorry, I don’t-… I don’t know your name-… I just started calling you Red.”
“Huh….but I’m Tango tho-“
“That’s your name?” The voice sounded rather excited about this. But Tango was to tried to really care.
“Yeah… can.. I go back to sleep now?” Weariness was settling over his body once more and he wanted to drift off again.
“Um wait- can you take this medicine first?? And maybe have some food and water too?”
“You have food?”
“I-… um let’s see- O! Yeah I do, I still have a veggie taquito if you want some-?”
“Okay..”
“Can you sit up?”
Tango’s foggy mind tried, but his muscles protested- “mmm- no.”
“I could help you- if you want?”
“Ok-…”
Something warm, and… big came behind Tango, helping him sit up-
Nausea swarmed his already blurry vision- but Tango forced it down.
Then blinked trying to clear the brain fog-
His vision came back into focus and slowly he took in his soundings.
He had been laying on… a giant pillow.
And there was a stack of tissues draped over his legs .
Then his gaze drifted up, and landed on the once fuzzy pink and yellow blob-
Now a full detail human with fluffy blond hair and a loose pink hoody.
Tango’s heart stuttered and he tried to force himself backwards away from the human but the touch on his back kept him in place-
The warmth left Tango’s back soon after and he watched as the human retracted his hand, with a look of concerned on his face
“I’m sorry I’ve startled you- I-… didn’t really think this part through-“
“You’re human!! And you’ve kidnapped me!! I won’t do this again!! I can’t!- I won’t!”
Tango’s voice still rough from his illness pitched up an octave in fear, putting further strain on it.
The human to his credit took a step back, his hands tucked into his sleeves and his arms help up to his chest.
Almost like a child in trouble-
But that didn’t make sense
He was a human, and adult human by the looks of it-
Not a scolded Kid-
“I really didn’t mean to scare you… I’m so… so sorry… you just… looked like you needed help.”
His voice was meek.
And Tango could help but feel a little bit bad-
He was pretty sick right now…
And from what it look like… this guy had been doing his best to make Tango comfortable.
But he was still human and probably wanted to keep Tango as a pet or science experiment or something twisted-
“What do you want with me!” Tango demanded-
“N-nothing.. I just wanted to help… “
“Don’t lie to me-!”
“I’m not-“ the Human took another step back “I sorry I took you with me I just…
You passed out… and looked hurt- and those meanie cats were taking your food-
I really thought I was helping-“
Tango re-evaluated again.
He honestly probably would’ve died if this human had left him.
Though if he stayed he might still die..
But this human… wasn’t like any other he had seen before.
He was so meek.
So hesitant.
And… guilty??
After all he had done wrong was save an ungrateful coward.
“You… said you had food?” Tango’s voice was softer.. both outta strain and guilt.
The human nodded his fluffy hair bouncing has he did.
Of course the only nice human he was likely to ever meet and Tango yells at him.
He really did suck
“I’ve got this veggie taquito? If you want-…” The human pulled out a tube looking food wrapped in a paper bag from his hoodie pocket.
“Yes please…”
the Human… (didn’t he say his name was Zed?) broke off a sizeable piece of the taquito before shuffling forward and placing it gently on the pillow in front of Tango-
Then backing away again.
Tango’s stomach roared, and in any other situation he would’ve been frustrated or embarrassed by such a response.
But he didn’t have the energy to waste on such things-
Instead pulling the food into his lap and taking a large bite.
Now Tango might’ve been a coward but he wasn’t stupid-
He knew he had to pace himself.
Otherwise he would be throwing up-
“Can I get you some water too?” Zed spoke softly, inching forward once again,
Tango, nodded slowly-
“Yes please…” he didn’t understand why Zed was still being kind.
Not after Tango snapped at him.
But still after a short while Zed brought him a bottle cap full of water, setting it down next to him.
He was about to retreat back-
“Wa-ait-“ Tango’s voice broke as he tried to call out, and the crack led into a series of harsh coughs tearing out of already shredded throat-
Zed hovered nearby, seemingly paralyzed in wanting to help but not wanting to freak Tango out more by touching him.
After a solid 20 seconds of straight coughing Zedaph made up his mind and brought a single hand down next to Tango, then gently resting his thumb on the borrower’s back, rubbing slow circles to help calm his body down.
It didn’t take long after that for Tango’s lungs to calm down and for him to catch his breath-
Zed didn’t move his hand but Tango wouldn’t protest.
Despite how terrifying this whole situation seemed.
Tango couldn’t make himself believe anymore than Zed was going to hurt him.
Sure his size was intimidating
But he seemed like a softy.
And Tango didn’t even want to consider how in the heavens above he lucked out by being found by this particular human.
“Are you okay Tango?, that seemed bad-“
“I’m… okay-… thanks..”
“Yeah… of course…. I-… I measured out some medicine for you earlier… it should help with your throat.. if you want- though I gotta warn you.. it does taste nasty..”
Tango debated it in his mind for a few moments before nodding. “I’ve probably eaten worse in the last two weeks- so… I don’t see the harm..”
Zedaph’s face contorted in worry, but he carried on anyways-
“alright… but … ok… let’s just go for it-“
Zed’s other hand picked up a blue bottle cap and brought it over to Tango-
There wasn’t any more than a drop of the syrupy medicine in the cap but it was definitely going to be enough for Tango-
It smelled like pine and mint- weird combo- but at this point, he was in too far to back out.
With shaking hands (and a bit of assistance)
Tango downed the medicine in one go.
The flavour was indeed nasty and sharp on Tango’s tongue but not entirely unbearable.
“Better?” Zed asked softly-
Tango swallowed a few times before his eyes widened in surprise
“Yeah actually… a lot better.”
Zed smiled before pulling away both his hands to tidy up a few things.
Tango tried not to mourn the loss of his touch, but without he realized just how touch starved he had been over these past few weeks.
“Are you going to eat any more?-“ Zed asked gently
“I… probably shouldn’t right now… don’t want to throw it up later…” Tango responded like he has talk to Zed hundreds of times before-
“mm that’s a smart idea-… you know your body better than I would, what about water, have you had some?-“
Tango shook his head,
“I got stupid flimsy arms right now-“
“Oh- sorry-“
“Don’t be, but do you think you could help me out again?… please?”
”yeah of course-“
Once again Zed helped bring the bottle cap up to Tango’s lips and the borrower took a few healthy gulps before pushing it gently away.
“Thank you…”
“You’re welcome Tango… are you feeling more awake now?”
“Um probably most awake I’ll be for a little while-“
“If I heated up some water and brought you some soap and shampoo would you want to have a bath?”
A bath?
When was the last time he had had one of those?
Let alone a warm one!
The though alone made him excited and he nodded perhaps a little too quickly for his aching head to handle-
“Yes please that would be incredible.”
Zed smiled, “I’ll get that set up.. and I might have some old doll cloths like might fit you too those ratty ones your wearing don’t exactly look salvageable.”
Tango looked down at his cloths that back up at Zed “you have dolls?”
“Used too-“ Zed clarified “boys are allowed to like dolls too you know… but I grew out of them when I was in my teens-“
“Why keep the cloths then?”
“They were cute outfits, I didn’t know if I wanted to pass them down to future kids who also had dolls or something like that- but here we are and they can be useful for something more realistic.”
“Oh… well… if you have anything in my size… I… I’m not going to argue.”
Zed smiled “alright- I’ll get you a bath set up first then grab some cloths-“
Tango was overwhelmed, but in a good way. Zed’s kindness and thoughtfulness.
It reminded him of his family.
How lovely they were to him
And how much they put up with his moods and tantrums at times.
He probably didn’t deserve to think about them so fondly.
But the warmth Zed had bout him.
And the way he cared.
It was a warmth Tango thought he had lost.
Maybe…
Instead of living as a punishment in remembrance of his brothers…
Maybe he could live in the warmth of remembering who they were.
And how important they were to him.
“Thank you Zed-“
“No problem I’m just-“
“No-, I really mean it, thank you… and I’m sorry for how I treated you to start… thank you for saving me and… and thank you for being so nice…
I could’ve wound up in a lot worse places than with you so… thank you for everything.”
Zedaph’s expression softened even further than it was. “You’re welcome Tango.. anytime you need anything… you can just let me know
“So I can come back if I wanted to? And you’d feed me and let me take warm baths again?”
“Well… yeah… or you could also stay too… I mean… It is kinda lonely living here by myself…” Zed said with a warm smile, before it dropped and his eyes widened
“not that you have to stay or anything!! You can leave too if you want, I was just thinking you might not want to-
but I really shouldn’t think for you, so I’m really sorry I got ahead of myself there and-“
“Zed-!” Tango interrupted Zedaph ramblings, a small chuckle slipping from his lips- “I would really like to stay… if you’ll have me..”
Zed’s smile returned softly, “yeah, of course Tango… I’m going to warm up some water for you, alright? I’ll be back in flash.”
And with that Zed retreated out of the room to grab the necessary supplies.
Tango let out a solidly help breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
And relief washed over him in a wave.
Tango might have been a coward…
But he wasn’t going to stain his family’s memory any further by punishing himself because of them.
He was going to fully live for them.
Remember them at their best and hope one day he’ll be able to forgive himself for leaving them behind.
Healing doesn’t happen in just one day.
But this was a great first step.