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The sun was shining bright this morning, its rays coming through the window and inside the room. Soon, the light woke the sleeping snake up. Sitting up in his bed, still in his pajamas, Sir Pentious rubbed his eyes. It had been his first night in Heaven, and he wasn’t used to its brightness yet.
He stayed in his bed for a while, observing his surroundings. He was in a hotel bedroom, but, unlike the Hazbin Hotel, the walls were white, or maybe a very light blue, and there were some golden decorations. Also, his room was high in the sky, and it had a window, with a view on Heaven. Compared to Hell’s oppressive environment, it felt like he could actually breathe.
But at the same time, he was feeling overwhelmed with all the sudden changes. He never liked change to begin with, so he certainly wasn’t feeling well right now. Sure, he was really proud of himself for being, well, the first ever redeemed sinner, but it was a lot to deal with. And he was starting to miss his friends, who he had no way to contact. And what about his Egg Bois ? He was trying not to let it show, but he really cared about these little things. They were not in Heaven with him, so… did they…
A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts.
“Who… is thisss ?” He nervously asked, tensing up.
“Oh, you’re awake ! It’s me, Emily !”
He relaxed a little bit. He had met this Seraphim named Emily the day before, when he appeared in Heaven. He had always had difficulty trusting people he didn’t know very well, but this girl seemed kind and trustworthy. Much more than that older Seraphim that was also in the room in which he arrived.
“Uh… then, hello, miss Emily !”
“Did you sleep well ?”
“Well, yesss ! I, um, had a great… sleep !”
He didn’t.
Sir Pentious already had some insomniac tendencies, sometimes due to anxiety, sometimes with no apparent reason, but it was usually manageable. This night, he had barely gotten one hour of sleep, despite his tiredness. He was so, so disoriented, and terrified, and his mind would not shut up. Around 6 AM, he finally fell asleep, holding a pillow tight in his arms. Usually, he slept with his Egg Bois, which kind of helped him relax and go to sleep, so, now that they were… gone, he needed a replacement until he could recreate them. Something to hold. After that, he went through a cycle of waking up and falling asleep again. It wasn’t great.
“Good to hear that !” Emily said, believing the lie. “Anyway, I was thinking… maybe you want me to give you a tour of Heaven ?”
“Absolutely ! I just need some time to get ready.”
Needing to distract himself from all the stress, he liked this idea. He finally found the energy to get up. His eyes struggling to stay open, he went to brush his teeth and then got dressed. After that, he slithered to the door and opened it, revealing Emily standing behind it, grinning.
“Well then, let’s go !” She said.
She grabbed his wrist and guided him to the elevator. While they were going down, Emily was jumping up and down with excitement. Eventually, she looked at Sir Pentious, and said :
“What exactly are you doing with your arms ?”
He hadn’t noticed it, but his elbows were bent and his forearms were close to his chest, much like a T-Rex. It was a position he instinctively had sometimes, simply because it was comfortable. Embarrassed, he lowered his forearms on the sides of his body.
“No, no, no !” Emily said. “I wasn’t saying that in a mean way ! I’m sorry…”
Now that he thought about it, it is true that Emily was smiling and had a kind, curious tone when she said that. It seemed Sir Pentious wasn’t the best at reading people. He hesitantly raised his forearms again.
“Great ! Don’t be self-conscious about it,” Emily said excitedly, “it’s unique !”
“Thanks, I guessss… It’s… something I unconsciously do sometimes.”
The elevator reached the floor. The both of them went outside, in the street. It really was beautiful. The sky was blue, and the city had white, gold and light blue tones. Unlike Hell, there was no violence, and everyone seemed happy. The street was lively and bustling. A bit too much, actually.
“Uh… Emily, is Heaven always that… crowded ?”
“Well, we’re kind of in the most crowded area.”
The noise was starting to get really distracting, with all the people talking at the same time, and Sir Pentious could feel his anxiety growing. He tried to repress it, but the feeling was increasingly difficult to ignore. He felt like he was in danger and he didn’t even know why. Not to mention the brightness of Heaven, still blinding him, hurting his eyes.
“Are you okay, Sir Pentious ?” Emily asked, a worried look on her face.
“Too… many… people…”
He winced and covered his ears. Emily grabbed him by the wrist again and quickly guided him to a small alley. Finally. No more people. No more blinding sun. Once he felt safe and no longer overstimulated, he sat down against a wall.
“Are you feeling better ?” Emily asked.
“A bit… I’m really sorry, Emily.”
“Don’t be sorry” she smiled. “But wow, you really scared me !”
“It’s just… I don’t really like people. I mean, I like my friends, like you for example, but…”
Emily squealed with joy.
“We’re already friends ?” She said.
“Uh… if you want to, of courssse…”
“Of course I want to !”
With an awkward smile on his face, Sir Pentious got up from the ground. Feeling really happy from this successful social interaction, he slightly flapped his hands without thinking. When he realized Emily saw him, he felt a bit self-conscious.
“Wait a second…” Emily said.
She looked like she was thinking, almost as if she was connecting the dots about something.
“I promise I’m not asking this in a mocking way, and, this might sound like a weird question, but… are you autistic, by any chance ?”
He stared blankly at her for a few seconds. He had heard the word “autistic” before, used by younger demons (often as an insult), but he didn’t really know what it meant, other than it being a brain thing. The term didn’t even exist when he was alive.
“I… don’t know” he admitted.
“Well, from what I know about autism, I think it might be worth it to see a professional. If you’re ready, of course.”
“There are professionals for this ssstuff ?”
“Oh, right. Hell probably doesn’t have a lot of therapists or psychiatrists. But finding a professional specialized in autism here should be pretty easy.”
Sir Pentious nervously looked around.
“What are they gonna do ? Look inssside my brain ?”
“What ? No, of course not ! They’re just gonna analyze your behavior and ways of thinking and see if it matches enough autistic traits to get you a diagnosis. So, do you want me to help you find a psychiatrist ?”
He hesitated for a moment.
“I’m… scared.”
“What do you mean ?”
“I’m scared you might be right. I always knew something was wrong with me.”
He sat down again, burying his face in his arms.
“Hey !” Emily said, looking concerned. “Autism is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just a different way of thinking. Besides, getting diagnosed with a disability can help you get accommodations.”
“I don’t need accommodations !”
Then, he remembered how overstimulated he was just minutes ago.
“Okay… maybe I need some accommodations. But I’m still the great Sssir Pentious !”
Emily laughed a little.
“I never said you weren’t.”
***
In the evening, Emily was in Sir Pentious’ room, looking at a computer, helping him find a professional.
“Okay,” she eventually said, “I booked you a first appointment in 30 days.”
“30 days ? That’sss… a lot.”
“Believe me, the waiting lists on Earth are much, much worse.”
Now that the suspicion was growing in his mind, it was going to be pretty hard not to think about it. But he was going to have to.
The good thing is, as days went by, he slowly accepted the idea of being maybe autistic. He even felt like it would be relieving, because it would explain so much. Mostly his social awkwardness. He didn’t have a great self esteem, so having a potential explanation made him feel better about himself.
And, one month and a half later…
“Emily !” He exclaimed. “Thank you so much !”
“For what ?” She asked, getting as excited as him.
“You were right ! I got an autism diagnosisss !”
Emily hugged him. He tensed up, still a bit uncomfortable with physical touch.
“Oh, sorry” she said, stepping back. “I’m a bit too tactile…”
“No problem” he chuckled.
He finally felt understood and accepted.