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He never imagined that he would be standing in a place like this. He had left with Bucky, taking refuge in the depths of Wakanda with the help of T’Challa. The Black Panther had no qualms about taking them in, despite his previous hatred for Bucky. After he had found out the truth, there was nothing else left but to forget, it hadn’t been Bucky’s doing. Steve was more than thankful for his help; they wouldn’t have gotten very far with the CIA on their backs and being as injured as they were. They were putting Bucky back in cryo until he could figure out how to control himself, or until they could figure out how to make sure he’ll never be used again. Steve’s face fell as he looked out the large windows that overlooked Wakanda’s prosperous landscape. Tall trees dominated the lands as far as the eye could see, a rather breathtaking view. It was calm and it was serene; the opposite of what he was feeling now. There had been so many people hurt, so many people he had caused pain to. He had learned that Rhodes faced paralysis, and the guilt had eaten him alive. Rhodes was a good man, and he didn’t deserve it. Wanda, Sam, Scott, and even Clint were victims of his actions as well; they spent a good amount of time in a jail cell, where they didn’t belong.
Natasha.
He had ignored all of her warnings, despite knowing the consequences of his actions and he had done irreparable damage to the people he cared about most. Yet, she still chose to help them, to let them escape on the quinjet back in that airport. If she hadn’t been there, Steve knew that he wouldn’t be standing here. He had gone against the law, the laws of the country he had sworn to serve. He was a disgrace as a soldier, and now, Captain America was a wanted man.
The sound of footsteps brought his train of thoughts to a halt. He’d recognize those footsteps anywhere, at least, when he could hear them.
“Nat,”
He said her name more as a greeting than anything else, as he always had.
“Getting better at this aren’t you, Rogers?”
The familiar sound of her voice was a comforting caress to his ears and he turned to smile at her, “Only because you weren’t trying to hide.”
She returned his smile and made her way towards him, her every movement sharp and graceful. Natasha always carried herself with an air of confidence, she knew exactly what she wanted and she knew how to get it. At this moment, she looked like she didn’t have a care in the world, but Steve knew better; he knew her better than that. After he had left with Bucky, she had tracked them down. The Black Widow spun her web-wide; it hadn’t taken much effort for her to find them at all. She had found them, half dead and yet still alive, and taken them to T’Challa who in return brought them to his homeland.
He didn’t know what he would’ve done without her.
“How are you holding up?” She asked.
“Fine, it’s just a little overwhelming,” He replied, “They’re putting him back in cryo until he can learn to control himself, or at least until they can figure out how to get him back to normal.”
“He’ll be alright Steve, and so will we,” She said, touching his arm. It was a simple gesture but it spoke a thousand words to him. Natasha was never one for emotional expressions, but somehow he found himself grateful for her small token of affection. She didn’t close up, and put her walls up after Banner left, she was still her.
“I heard that they might be able to track Banner down,” she said, breaking the silence. He turned to look at her in slight surprise, “Dr. Banner?”
Natasha gave him a small smile, “Yeah.”
She wasn’t defensive but she wasn’t herself either and he wasn’t sure he wanted to press the subject, so he just settled for a lame are you okay?
“It was just a fling, nothing more. We both knew it was headed to hell the moment it started.” She shrugged, looking anywhere but at him. Steve wondered if it was the truth.
“It was interesting, to say the least. Two monsters paired up together. I lost sight of myself after that battle.”
He could only look at her as she spoke. She could never be the demons she spoke of, to Steve, she was just her and she was perfect just the way she was. She was Natasha, and that would always be enough.
“He was a distraction, nothing more, nothing less. I had blown all my covers, my alibis; I needed to make something new.”
Steve kept silent, waiting for her to go on.
“But then he left, and I let it go,” she said, turning to finally meet his gaze. He shook his head, “You’re not the monster you speak of, Nat.”
“But I am. You’re America’s golden boy Steve, everyone loves you. I’m a Russian assassin, we’re two worlds apart.”
“I liked Bruce for a bit, he understood, even if it wasn’t much,” she shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, “But in the end, we’re still standing here as outlaws. It’s still me and you, Steve.”
“Maybe we aren’t so different after all,” he smiled. She just flashes him this sad smile that makes him want to just protect her. He wanted to be her shield.
S.H.I.E.L.D was the first thing he understood when he was fished out of the ice; he knew because Peggy had been one of the founders. When he found out she was alive, he realized he still had a link to his old life. Peggy was strong, she was noble, and boy, she could wield a gun as well as any man. Natasha reminded him of her; they had the same fiery red hair, the same explosive personality. Peggy had liked her. He had taken Natasha with him to visit her one time, and they had gotten along so well.
Sharon.
He had kissed his best gal’s grandniece. It wasn’t something he was proud of. Peggy would’ve hated him if she had found out. He shouldn’t have done it, especially when he never thought about pursuing an actual relationship with her. It had been a spur of the moment kind of thing and yet again, he hadn’t thought about the consequences. His mother would be rolling in her grave as he thought about this.
“I’m glad I found you,” Natasha spoke up, interrupting his guilty self-conscience, “I’m glad you’re safe.”
Her eyes never met his; instead, they were trained outside, towards the towering mountains and lush green trees.
“I’m glad you’re here, Nat.”
She turned to face him, the smirk he loved so much painted on her face like it belonged there, “Why are we so fond of being in dysfunctional relationships?”
It took him a moment to think of an answer before he replied, stepping closer to her, “Well, a relationship wouldn’t work if it’s with the wrong person…”
“You’re right, but it’s kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience right?” she breathed.
“It’s not everything.” He said, leaning in.
“Isn’t it?”
“No.”
Hands on her waist, he used that as leverage to pull her closer as her hands went through his hair. This was nothing like the kiss he shared with Sharon, which had been awkward, and wrongly-timed. Kissing Natasha felt like a relief. It was the feeling he got after a battle when the adrenaline died down, the feeling of coming home to a warm bed and cosy blankets. It was the feeling that everything was alright and he didn't know how else to describe it but happiness. Steve loved the way she fit so perfectly in his arms, her lips moving in sync with his. When they finally pulled apart, he kept her in his embrace.
She looked up at him and smirked, "I see you've been practicing Rogers."
He only grinned at her, "Just for you."
And it wasn't a lie, she was the only person he wanted to kiss for the rest of his life.