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r/superherosidekicks · 10 yr. ago
u/cuminghardthrowaway452809
My best friend is a superhero and the thought of losing him scares the fuck out of me. Also i think I'm in love with him
Ive known this guy since we were babies and so far there hasn't been a single day we haven't been together
Okay I'll start with a little backstory or something. Our parents were super close even before we were born, so we were basically raised together. After that, we became practically inseparable. As kids we used to bathe together (we're both guys), and currently we still tag along on each other's family trips and have shared holidays occasionally when the stars align and it fits in our schedule or whatever. There isn't a single thing about me that he doesn't know. The one time I hung out with other people he got all of them possessed (??) because of some petty thing he did out of jealousy, and honestly? I think I would've done the same thing. People have told me it was kinda weird, but i honestly could not care less. He's my bestest bud in the whole world, there's no one else I'd rather spend my time with
I've always called him along the lines of a brother, but now I'm thinking it could be more. It's only recently that I've been seriously considering that I might be in love with him. Like maybe I don't have butterflies in my stomach but whenever I see him smile it's like everything's gonna be okay. I know I find girls pretty but he just makes me feel completely different... No idea if he feels the same though
Won't specify for privacy reasons obviously but for a while now he's been at this superhero gig (it was supposed to be a secret but he told me right away). saving lives, fighting bad guys, yada yada. I'm not the only one who knows but I don't interact with the others much, so I have no one to talk to about this. It was cool at first, don't get me wrong, but now it's just getting annoying. He doesn't have time to hang out anymore. and maybe that's caused arguments between us but that's become less common now
I thought I finally accepted it, or at least came close to tolerating it, but yesterday when he came to my place bleeding all over I think something in me just snapped. I helped him (no shit), but I was pissed and he knew it. He's home safe right now, but he left so early and I'm starting to think that he thinks that I hate him. I'm not the affectionate type (working on it) and it makes me feel horrible that I can't bring myself to tell him. I think this is the worst I've ever felt about anything ever. It doesn't help that things have just been starting to get better after a recent apocalypse. It feels like I messed everything up again.
Before this it had already been getting really dangerous, for both me and him. Travelling dimensions, crazy magic people, time travel, rich people trying to kill us, so nothing entirely unheard of but it's still a lot to deal with, you know? But then he keeps getting into these fights (some of them could have been avoided but he's too stubborn to listen to me) and coming back in denial that it fucks him up. It's really painful watching him throw his everything into this shit and not even being able to get recognition without risking what's left of our normal lives. I'm the only one who "has a problem" with it cuz the other pricks encourage it, and it makes me feel like an idiot. I know it's his duty or whatever but sometimes I wish he never got into it at all. But at the same time... man does he love doing it. saving people makes him happy, so it feels wrong to keep telling him to stop (ive tried)
I don't think he would ever give it up if he could. I'd rather stay by his side to make sure he doesn't get himself killed, but I can't possibly help him with everything. It feels like we're alive only by dumb luck, and I can't help but wonder when that's gonna run out
I'm honestly at a loss. Idk what to do and it's not like either of us can go to a therapist about this or something
Anyway not really looking to fix it because I doubt anything can be done. just needed to get this off my chest.Advice would be appreciated tho. I really don't wanna lose him to something stupid
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crane-guy · 10 yr. ago
Man, that sounds rough! I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Are you sure there's NO ONE you can turn to for help on this? What about those 'other guys' you mentioned? I heard superheroes usually have some kind of support network for those in the know.
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cuminghardthrowaway452809 OP · 10 yr. ago
Yeah I'm pretty sure. The other guys are super old fucks who perpetuate this type of shit so they're lost causes and I don't want anything to do with them on this topic
His hero biz isn't part of an organization or anything. Hard to describe but he's completely solo and separate from any government. Our city is pretty isolated too, so no outside contact with other heroes. Plus even if there was, I wouldn't know where to start
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kitty2go · 10 yr. ago
If he's a vigilante perhaps you can use that reasoning to get him to reconsider? In all aspects, it's still illegal in most parts of the world, and getting caught could mean ruining your lives.
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cuminghardthrowaway452809 OP · 10 yr. ago
Where I'm at it's technically perfectly legal. Even if he does get exposed, it's not likely that he'll be prosecuted by the law or the public. His identity is kept secret for an entirely different (bs) reason
Just quitting isn't an option either. He's the city's only protector.
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SUPER_nov · 10 yr. ago
Huh. I never heard of something like that before, are you sure?
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cuminghardthrowaway452809 OP · 10 yr. ago
No shit i'm sure. I think it's part of some kinda legal loophole because he doesn't interfere with actual criminal activity. It's all occult nonsense no one else has control over and everyone lets him do it because it's not like we have any other choice
I had to temporarily take over his job one time. it sucks. I hated it. If anyone else tries they'd suck at it too. trust me. There's a good reason he's the only one qualified to do it
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BloodBlanket · 10 yr. ago
I'm sorry but the way you talk about him your friend sounds like a huge asshole. While I don't doubt the authenticity of your feelings, the relationship you have sounds super unhealthy and co-dependent. Jealousy is one thing, but getting other people possessed over it is insane.
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cuminghardthrowaway452809 OP · 10 yr. ago
I was way worse to him in a lot of ways (probably still am). It's only these past few months that I've been working on changing that. He's always been patient with me, so it's the least I cna do
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richieb88 · 10 yr. ago
Honestly good on you for trying to better yourself. You're doing a great job, so don't be too self deprecating. Not quite sure how healthy this is, but you really seem to love him. Wishing you both the best of luck!!!
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cuminghardthrowaway452809 OP · 10 yr. ago
thanks
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Penguinsspace · 10 yr. ago
Where are you from?
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cuminghardthrowaway452809 OP · 10 yr. ago
US
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Jon_usurper · 10 yr. ago
It's hard to take this seriously with that username wtf. You could've just went with throwaway.
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cuminghardthrowaway452809 OP · 10 yr. ago
But that would be way less funny
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Jon_usurper · 10 yr. ago
Okay you're right.
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JakeIsLongAD · 10 yr. ago
this kinda sounds familiar
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JakeIsLongAD · 10 yr. ago
wait..
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