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Yuuta had barely taken the lid off the rice cooker when the front door swung open and Toge breezed in like he’d been buzzed up by divine right. He watched as he dropped his canvas tote just inside the entryway, kicked his shoes halfway under the bench without aiming, and signed in rapid, casual JSL as he flopped onto the couch. I need to borrow one of your hoodies.
Yuuta, still holding a rice paddle in one hand and a potholder in the other, blinked at him. “Hi, Toge, nice to see you. Thanks for coming by. I’m doing great. How are you? That’s so nice of you to ask.” He deadpanned, slowly turning back toward the rice cooker.
Toge just stretched out fully on the couch, arms over his head, bare ankles sticking out from under his cuffed pants. One of his socks had cartoon sharks on it, the other said SOUP? in bold red letters, both were hideous. He wiggled his toes and grinned at him with zero shame as if he already knew what he was thinking.
This wouldn’t be a problem if you gave me a key. He signed, the motion exaggerated with a theatrical shrug.
Yuuta turned the burner down and gave him a pointed look over his shoulder. “You already show up whenever you want, raid my leftovers and snacks, and take my chargers. If I gave you a key, you’d move in and rename my cat.”
You don’t have a cat.
“You’d get one for the purpose of renaming it.”
Toge beamed like he relished that Yuuta knew him that well and flipped onto his stomach, chin propped on folded arms and making one simple statement. You love me.
Yuuta’s heart hiccupped once and he turned back to the pan. “Dinner is stir fried sweet potato with tofu and scallion oil. No eggplant, before you ask.”
Toge tapped the coffee table to get his attention. You really do love me.
He didn’t answer.
Yuuta scooped tofu out onto two plates with the awaiting rice, garnished it with sesame seeds and a little squeeze of yuzu, grabbed two sets of chopsticks, then walked over and handed one to the goblin on his couch.
Toge took it reverently, cradling it like it was a gift from the heavens completely ducking his face close to take in a deep inhale of the aromas coming off it. He cradled it on his lap as he accepted one of the pairs of chopsticks. Perfect, thank you. You’re my knight in shining armor.
Yuuta flopped onto the other end of the couch, balancing his own plate on a throw pillow. “You’re just saying that because I feed you.”
Toge held up his chopsticks like he was swearing an oath. And I never stop meaning it.
“Okay, okay. Anyway- ” Yuuta said, voice muffled through a bite of sweet potato. “What’s this hoodie thing about?”
Toge brightened. He swallowed his mouthful, then signed quickly, Yuuji and Panda have been on my ass about dating again. They’re trying to set me up. Again. With people who do not know how to text like normal human beings.
“Yikes?”
So I came up with a plan..
Yuuta eyed him warily. “Those are always terrifying words coming from you.”
Toge smiled serenely. If I wear one of your hoodies..
“I’m already concerned.”
Shush, they’ll think I have a secret boyfriend. But I won’t say it, I’ll let them come to their own conclusion. Reverse psychology. No pressure. Just vibes.
Yuuta stared at him. “You want to fake date me through my clothing?”
Exactly! Toge signed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your hoodies are oversized. Mine fit normally, they’ll notice.
Yuuta looked at him blankly before he went back to his plate and plucked a piece of tofu. “You could just buy a bigger hoodie.”
That’s not authentic, Yuuta. Yours have a backstory. Worn in threads and mystery stains!
Yuuta nearly choked on his rice. “Mystery what?”
Metaphorical stains. Emotional weight. Toge signed seriously.
Yuuta sighed. “Why do I indulge you?”
Because you love me.
“You wish.” Yuuta muttered, stabbing a piece of sweet potato.
He very carefully did not look at the way Toge tucked his sleeves into his fists as he ate, curled into the couch like he belonged there. Instead, Yuuta placed his empty plate onto the coffee table once he finished up. “I’ve got that green hoodie from college, the one with the frayed sleeve.”
Perfect. That one screams I’m spoken for but my status is emotionally guarded.
Yuuta groaned and scrubbed a hand down his face.
Toge beamed. Thank you. Truly. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.
“Just don’t wear it in public if I’m on a date or something. I don’t want a misunderstanding happening."
Toge’s hands froze mid-sign, perplexed. You’re not seeing anyone.
Yuuta blinked. “How do you know that?”
Because..you’re here. With me. On a Friday night. Bake Off reruns playing on the TV for background noise while making sesame tofu because you know that’s what I will watch if I come over. He made a small gesture like he wanted to continue, but then didn’t. Instead his eyes glanced over towards Yuuta’s hallway but then seemed to give up talking and went back to his food.
Between them, they both knew full well what was in that hallway. Ghosts. Framed, hung and cherished pictures of the past mixed with the present, near the center by his parents was a smiling little girl who should have been sitting with them enjoying this meal too.
Yuuta hesitated, very much not a fan of being called out and pinned down as well as Toge had him. He hadn’t dated in a long time and whenever he made an attempt, it was truly a messy situation. He hated how right Toge was about all that but then with quiet contemplation he followed it all with a simple statement. “Maybe I just like your company.”
Toge didn’t answer, he just smiled at him, smaller this time, but warmer. It was in that moment that Yuuta let himself believe for just a second that maybe the hoodie scheme wasn’t all that fake after all.
*****
Friday night, the restaurant he headed to was already warm and softly lit by the time Yuuta arrived. The scent of garlic butter, grilled miso salmon, and sesame oil clung to the air as waitstaff moved between tightly packed tables. Their little group had a standing reservation tucked into the corner near the window, far enough from the noise that he could actually hear himself think.
Yuuta slid into the booth and set his phone facedown, scanning the menu without reading it. He was early, like always. Toge would be late, like always. And Yuuji-
“Hey!” Said a too familiar voice and Yuuji dropped into the seat across from him, half out of breath, cheeks pink from the outside chill. He grinned, shirt collar askew, sleeves rolled, and that unmistakable look of someone who knew something he absolutely should not have known.
Yuuta looked up with a frown. “Why are you already smirking?”
Yuuji rested his chin on his palm and said, with no preamble to it. “So. You and Toge, huh?”
Yuuta blinked. “What?”
Yuuji’s grin only stretched wider. “Come on, man. Don’t make me say it. The hoodie.”
Yuuta felt his stomach turn. “What about it?”
“He wore it to Panda’s movie night.” Yuuji said. “That green hoodie from college? Frayed cuff, there’s a little gold colored onigiri button on the pouch pocket that Toge sewed onto it because you found it at some old lady’s yard sale. I remember, you wouldn’t stop telling everything the story that whole week. You used to wear that thing all the time.”
Yuuta’s brain tried to catch up. “That could’ve been any green hoodie ”
“Nope.” Yuuji cut in cheerfully. “This very particular one had a stain from your ink pen. Finals week, you fell asleep on your work page and woke up with it on your face and sleeve.”
Yuuta stared, his brows creasing, he wasn’t sure if it was out of concern or annoyance. “Why do you remember that?”
“Because you panicked and tried to get it off your face before another class, and I had to talk you out of making the decision to lock yourself in the bathroom instead of going to said class. Thankfully Nobara was close by and helped you out.”
Yuuta dragged a hand down his face. “Okay. Fine. Yes, it’s my hoodie.”
Yuuji leaned forward, his voice dropping to something softer still teasing, but more careful. “We thought you two were trying to keep it under wraps. I mean, it makes sense. Toge’s been hopeless about you forever. And you’re, well, kind of hard to read sometimes but mostly you’re oblivious.”
Yuuta’s heart thudded hard enough to echo in his ears. “What do you mean, hopeless? I’m oblivious?”
Yuuji blinked. “Wait, he didn’t tell you?”
“No.” Yuuta said tightly, he started feeling too hot. “Tell me what?”
Yuuji looked suddenly awkward, as if he’d wandered into a room he wasn’t supposed to be in. “I figured you knew. I mean, he always lights up around you. He’s never shown that much interest in anyone we’ve tried to set him up with. And now, showing up in your hoodie, all soft looking and smug?” He shook his head. “We figured you finally got together and were keeping it quiet.”
Yuuta was silent. His brain was too loud. Images kept flickering across his mind: Toge curled into his couch, hands tucked in his sleeves. Toge signing you love me with that infuriating, adorable little smirk. Toge wearing his hoodie to bed. He’d thought it was a joke. He’d told himself it meant nothing.
And now..
“Look.” Yuuji said, more gently. “If you didn’t know, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. But..it’s kind of obvious to the rest of us.”
Yuuta’s voice was faint. “Is he still?”
Yuuji gave him a wry look. “He wore your hoodie. Again. To a dinner where Panda was probably going to try setting him up again. I think that’s a yes.”
Yuuta sat back, heart doing something dangerous. “Can you..not tell him you said anything?”
“Of course.” Yuuji said. “My lips are sealed.”
He stood, gave Yuuta a pat on the shoulder, and headed off toward the bar to get drinks, leaving Yuuta alone with a mind that would not shut up.
His phone buzzed quietly beside his plate.
Toge: Almost there. I stole your hoodie again.
Yuuta stared at the screen for a moment before he responded.
Yuuta: We need to talk when you get here.
He received a thumbs up and that was that.
Toge arrived fifteen minutes late and looking exactly like a problem Yuuta would never be strong enough to ignore.
The hoodie swallowed him up and he looked way too adorable. That was the first thing Yuuta noticed. His old green hoodie, the one with the frayed sleeve and faded onigiri button that hung off Toge’s shoulders like it belonged there. The hood was up, too, casting his face in soft shadow as he greeted Yuuji and Panda (who barely made it before Toge) at the table, pulling it down with one hand and signing a casual apology with the other. His hair was slightly wind swept, his cheeks pink from the cold, and his smile..
God. That smile.
Yuuta had no idea how he’d gone so long pretending he didn’t want to see it first thing every morning. Before Toge could even sit down, he was already moving.
“Hey.” He said, grabbing Toge’s wrist a little too quickly. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
Toge blinked, slightly startled, and nodded. Yuuji and Panda both lifted their brows but said nothing though Yuuji’s expression was approximately 70% mischief and 30% oh boy.
Yuuta didn’t look back as he led Toge across the restaurant and into the single occupancy restroom at the back near the kitchen. It was quiet in there, lit by yellow sconces, and smelled faintly of citrus and hand soap. He locked the door for that little added privacy to what he wanted to say.
Toge leaned against the sink counter, head tilted. He signed carefully. What’s wrong?
Yuuta ran a hand through his hair, exhaled hard, and gestured vaguely. “You..your hoodie. I mean, my hoodie. You wore it again.”
Yeah? Toge signed, cautious now.
Yuuta’s eyes flicked over him. He looked so casual in it. So him. Sleeves tucked over his palms in that little habit of his. Shoulders hunched forward like he was trying not to take up too much space. He looked soft, even fragile. And oh so entirely kissable.
Yuuta shoved that last thought somewhere deep and locked it away. For now at least.
“I just meant, it worked.” He said. “Your plan. The whole fake boyfriend thing.”
Toge’s expression brightened a little. Oh! Good. That’ll finally get them off my back.
Yuuta nodded, though it didn’t feel like a win. He took a step closer. “Can I ask why?”
Toge hesitated. Why what?
“Why didn’t you want to date any of them?” Yuuta asked. “I mean, I’ve seen some of the pictures, they’re attractive by your standards and tastes. All of them. You could’ve picked any one of them and had a great time at least for a first date. Even if they’re not good at texting, but..you never did.”
He stopped himself from going on, breath stuttering. The image of Toge pressed against someone else kissing them, touching them, smiling at them was more than enough to make his stomach knot. It had been a long time since Yuuta allowed himself to really think about those possible date scenarios with Toge and some mystery guy.
Toge’s gaze dropped, his fingers moved slower now. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.
Yuuta’s throat felt tight. “Why not?”
Toge was quiet for a moment, before he seemed to finally gather courage. Because I like someone else, and couldn’t move on from them.
Yuuta nodded. “Okay. That’s fair I suppose.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling like the world had narrowed to this tiny space of tile and tension and warmth. “They think it’s me.” He said finally, voice low. “Yuuji and Panda. They saw the hoodie and figured it out.”
Toge’s hands froze mid-sign.
Yuuta kept going. “They recognized it. I used to wear it constantly. College, remember? I guess it was obvious. In hindsight, the onigiri was probably a giveaway.”
Toge’s cheeks flushed a bright, impossibly red. He looked away, lips parted like he might mouth something out but didn’t.
“I don’t mind.” Yuuta added quietly. “It’s not a bad idea, and Yuuji said you’ve been pining for me for years.”
The way Toge’s face froze utterly still, as if time had stuttered, told Yuuta everything he needed to know. He saw it happen in real time: the horror creeping across Toge’s features, the wide eyes, the quick intake of breath. His hands came up reflexively but dropped just as fast.
“I- ” Yuuta stepped forward, all the air gone from his lungs. “Is that true?”
Toge looked at him helplessly. Slowly, as if it hurt and sad, he carefully nodded.
Yuuta’s heart cracked open. “You’ve liked me.” He said, like he was testing the words out loud. “This whole time?”
Toge swallowed and signed. I didn’t mean for you to know. I wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t want to ruin anything over this. And the stuff with Rika..I’m sorry, Yuuta.
His face twisted, and it broke something deep in Yuuta. Toge looked ashamed, like loving him was something unforgivable. Like he’d failed some unspoken agreement to keep his feelings hidden, tidy, under control.
I would’ve been okay keeping it a secret. Toge signed. I’ll get over it.
“No.” Yuuta said. “Don’t.”
Toge blinked, confusion written all over his face.
Yuuta took a breath, then another. “What if I don’t want you to get over it?”
There was silence between them, close and intimate. It was the kind you could hold in your hands and feel the pulse against your fingertips.
Yuuta stepped forward slowly. He was careful, only stopping until they were nearly chest to chest, and Toge was looking up at him with those stunned lavender eyes.
“I’m in love with you.” Yuuta whispered. “I know it’s sudden but..I just know I can say that truthfully, with full honesty. I wasn’t sure after losing Rika if I could so I never thought about things like that, it’s kind of funny to me that things like this happen when you don’t think about it.”
He didn’t know if it had always been true, that love for Toge, or if it had just been waiting quietly and patiently underneath every home cooked meal and movie marathon, every shared hoodie and every time he’d watched Toge smile and thought, God, please stay like this. But now that he’d said it, he felt steady.
Toge stared at him so deeply it felt like he was looking into his soul, one hand clutching the hem of the hoodie, the other caught halfway in a sign he didn’t finish. Then, without waiting for another second, Yuuta leaned in and kissed him.
There was a startled twitch of surprise from Toge, but then his hands slid to Yuuta’s sides, and he leaned into it like gravity had never meant anything else. Soft mouth, slow exhale. Yuuta’s hands curled into the fabric over Toge’s spine, holding tight.
They kissed like they were catching up on all the time they hadn’t.
When they pulled apart, breathless and still in a haze of shock, Toge smiled shyly. I think I should steal your hoodies more often.
Yuuta laughed, he felt like he was on the edge of delirium. “You can have them.” He said, pressing their foreheads together. “You can have them all.”
They didn’t rejoin the table right away, still trying to settle from everything. Yuuta insisted on buying time by texting in their group chat that Toge’s stomach was hurting so he was going to walk him home. In return Yuuji sent him a private message with nothing but the most obscene winking emoji string known to man, and a single message.
Yuuji: Tell your boyfriend I said feel better.:P
Toge read it over Yuuta’s shoulder and shoved his arm playfully. Yuuta just smiled, he couldn’t wipe the dumb look he knew he had on his face even if it killed him.
They walked back through the neighborhood in near silence, not because they had nothing to say, but because somehow, it felt enough to just be there side by side, the air between them warm and charged, each step full of something new and terrifying and quietly wonderful.
The wind had picked up a little. Toge tucked himself deeper into the hoodie. It still smelled like Yuuta’s detergent.
He reached out, hand brushing Yuuta’s lightly, and when Yuuta took it, neither of them let go again.
Toge stayed the night.
Not in the teasing, half unspoken, crashing-on-your-couch kind of way he usually did. He stayed because Yuuta asked him to. Explicitly and with hope. After they’d kicked their shoes off and microwaved leftover rice, after Toge had sat on the counter while Yuuta reheated curry and poked fun at him for his ‘grown man meal prepping being offensive’.
He stayed because Yuuta kissed him against the fridge, laughing into his mouth like he couldn’t believe he was allowed to. And because Toge kissed him back like he’d been holding it in for years. His arms wound so tight around his neck, Yuuta was sure he would die from the lack of oxygen going to his brain. He was fine with that if that was how he was to go.
He stayed because it felt like the only possible outcome.
They didn’t rush anything. There were no breathless moans or thrown off clothes. Just slow kisses in the dark, and tangled fingers under blankets, and Yuuta saying please stay, to Toge like it was a secret he’d finally let himself say out loud.
When they woke the next morning, Toge’s head was on Yuuta’s shoulder, and Yuuta’s hand was tucked under the hem of the hoodie like it was instinct.
Later that day, Yuuji showed up at Yuuta’s apartment uninvited.
He knocked, waited five seconds, then opened the door like he owned the place. Which, to be fair, was normal.
What wasn’t normal was the way he froze in the doorway when he saw Toge curled into the end of Yuuta’s couch, hoodie sleeves bunched around his hands, a bowl of instant ramen balanced on his knees.
“Uh..” Yuuji said, slowly. “So you are dating!”
Toge blinked at him and slurped a noodle like he’d been waiting for this exact moment.
Yuuta appeared from the hallway holding a damp towel to his hair, drying it. “You couldn’t have texted first?”
Yuuji looked between them and grinned. “I knew it. You made it weird in the bathroom, didn’t you?”
“No comment.” Yuuta said flatly.
Yuuji dropped onto the armchair. “I want the full rundown. Did the hoodie do the heavy lifting? Did you cry?”
“Yuuji.”
“Wait, did you cry?”
“I’m not answering that.”
Toge set his bowl down and signed lazily. He cried a little.
Yuuji threw his head back in victory.
“Great.” Yuuta muttered, dragging a hand down his face. “I’m never telling either of you anything again.”
Yuuji only beamed wider.
Eventually, Toge wandered over, tucked himself against Yuuta’s side, and signed smugly You love me. which had been a joke once.
But now Yuuta smiled, kissed his temple, and replied without hesitation: “Yeah, I do.”
Yuuji made a noise like he’d been stabbed in the chest with a Hallmark card.
*****
The next time Toge came over, he didn’t ask for a hoodie. He didn’t have to. Yuuta had already left one folded on the end of the bed, along with sweatpants, clean socks, and a key.
Toge stared at it all with an unreadable expression before he picked it up with careful hands and turned to Yuuta, a questioning look on his face.
Yuuta shrugged, like it was nothing. “I mean, you already show up whenever you want. Now you don’t have to wait for me to buzz you in or wait for someone to open the door.”
Toge looked down at the key again, then stepped towards him pressing their foreheads together, and signed slowly, Are you sure?
Yuuta nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been sure for a while.”
He kissed him once. Then again, softer this time. The kind of kiss that said Stay. This is home now.
Toge felt it so loudly, fingers grasping tight to the front of Yuuta’s shirt. He stayed.