Chapter Text
Jay was different, no doubt about it: they didn’t expect to find Jay so suddenly, especially right after the intense battle with Thunderfang and the Forbidden Five, but they did. He was banged up, his leg caught under a rock, slightly dazed, even more annoyed at the ninja for a mix of reasons that contradicted each other. First, he shoved Nya away, not letting her help him up, but as soon as he doubled over, his leg bursting with pain, he pleaded for them to fix his leg.
He was loud, demanding and rude, but in a way, it sounded like the Jay they knew. Unlike at the Tournament of the Sources, they couldn’t see the Jay from before the merge in the eyes of the one that fought Nya; he was cold, violent and distant, until he was sent away and no one had any clue how they were going to find him again. A one-off encounter, they had him for a moment, hoped that Jay would stay in the tournament and they’d somehow find a way to bring his old self back.
And although Ras sent him away, they didn’t expect for him to be the mercenary/bounty hunter hunting down the same one that left him all alone. The man who lied to him, shattered his goodness and brought even more doubts into his mind, since right now, he was refusing to believe that they once knew each other. In the tournament, he said he’d been working in the Administration for years, believing a lie for years, accepting that was who he was, then it was Ras, he believed everything anyone told him about who he was.
But with the ninja, it was different. Not only did Ras shatter his goodness, he had shattered his trust in others. Luckily though, Jay was letting Lloyd and Nya help him walk once he got suddenly demanding to be brought back to the Monastery. He felt more like Jay right now, even though it felt like the least he had ever been himself besides the tournament.
Besides the rudeness, harsh comments and the piercing shiver some got when he looked their way, he was loud, fidgety, and the rudeness felt like him, just more intense. Yet, despite how much they tried to link his personality traits now to his past self, none of them could look at him and register that they were bringing Jay home, their Jay, the Jay that would be laughing, giving Nya a kiss, making fun of Cole and Kai and being way too over the top.
If none of it ever happened, they imagined he’d be panicking, shooting complaints about the pain but thankful for them either way. Right now was different, he kept demanding them to hurry up and fix his leg, get him some food and get him on his way out as soon as he gets a splint on. “Jay, please be careful, let them help you walk or you will injure your leg more.” Zane warned, everyone looking Jay’s way.
“I think we’ll have to break his other leg to get him to stay with us.” Kai shot, laughing and observing Jay who glared right back at him. “Wyldfyre, you grab him and I’ll-“ he whispered jokingly into her ear, until Jay hopped forward, being held back by Lloyd and Nya, who never let him leave their grip.
“I’ll break both your legs, fire-man!” He growled, the others noticed that when he got angry, his voice grew in pitch. While before the merge, his voice was a lot higher all the time, getting to screechy squeal when he had any intense emotions; this time it was much deeper, reaching his past average frequency when he was threatening Kai and Wyldfyre.
As much as Jay wanted to intimidate and scare the ninja, none of them seemed affected by whatever demands and threats he threw their way, only looking on in amusement. They shook their heads, just finding his anger a funny, typical thing or, the most annoying thing of all, was the way the water girl looked at him. Whatever he did, no matter how aggressive he was, no matter how hard he tried to prove he wasn’t this teammate they keep insisting he was, she looked at him with love.
Her eyes in a constant soft stare, looking at every part of him, every contact they made with each other was gentle, even when he tried to be hard. The way she held his arm over her shoulders felt intentional, like she was trying so hard to feel him again, every time she talked to him, looked or existed in his presence was a way for her to experience a person she once knew all over again.
Jay didn’t want to be that person, he didn’t want to be seen as this soft, kind, ninja that was never him. They were mistaken, probably hallucinating that person’s face in the place of his, because he was not a ninja, he never was and he never will be, he didn’t care what these strangers thought. But he didn’t even believe that the ninja thought they were telling the truth, he knew they were lying to him, another lie that they expect him to hop onto immediately.
Everyone he has ever met believes that since he has no memories of who he was before the merge, he will jump into every opportunity of the truth, a story to latch onto, a way for him to know who he was. The administration tought he was an empty shell for them to use, they filled the emptiness of his identity with their ideals, and now it feels like he can never remove them.
Ras saw him as a hollow mind that could be filled with his ideals, his lessons, someone with no sense of what he really wanted could easily be tricked into joining him, then thrown away to find himself all over again when he wasn’t needed.
For everyone, he was a tool, he was disposable, because there was no memories inside of him to hold onto, no idea who he was, who he knew or what he believed in. Now, as these people try to convince him he was once a ninja, he knew they only needed his lightning power to help save the world or something stupid like that.
So this time, he would use them, he would be the one in charge, they’d fix his leg, maybe he’d steal a few goods, and he’d be on his way…unless he could find a way to help him catch Ras. But if he were to do that, he’d want to be around them as little as possible. While he was stuck to not believing anything they say, he was still scared, he was cautious when listening to them, in case the empty parts of his soul that were still trying to find out who he is or once was unintentionally latched onto their stories.
Without noticing, he’d be a part of another lie, so no matter what, he wouldn’t listen to other people. Perhaps, at this point, there was no chance of him believing anyone. Even if the spitting image of himself showed up, declaring him as his parent, blood tests confirming their relation, he wouldn’t want to stick to that truth.
He was his own person, from the emptiness of his mind right after the merge to now, he’d built himself, bit by bit, piece by piece, learned everything about the world that he was sure he once knew. This version of himself wasn’t built by his parents or his past friends – if he had any. He wasn’t interested in who he once was, for a second, he thought that he’d like to know who his parents was, where he lived, what he did for a living, if people liked him, even what realm he was originally from.
But he wouldn’t waste his time trying to find that out.
-
They’d gotten to the Monastery, Jay immediately looking around at the new environment but not trying to take it in, he wouldn’t commit the thing these people are convinced he knew before to his memory. He wouldn’t let himself feel sentimental, like how everytime a lie was told to him, he felt the softness, a hope he’d know who he was.
Apparently, the ninja were pretty famous, judging from how they unexpectedly had a party thrown for them, already ready and bustling with people from across the Merged Lands. Jay hated all that noise, hated anyone who liked the ninja and might end up trying to convince him that he was a ninja before too. So, he hopped over to the nearest sort-of empty temple and grabbed a drink, the ninja were good for some things, at least.
Obviously, when he’d arrived, a ninja in black was already greeting him like they’d known each other all their life, and when he (obviously) jumped away when he tried to hug him, his face grew a solemn look. It was the faces they pulled that annoyed him the most, he felt it right in his soul, wanted to rip them out of his memory, to them, he wasn’t taken seriously. He was treated like a lost puppy, someone who was vulnerable, and being injured didn’t help either; it only made him feel more helpless.
After Jay had dropped the bomb that was Arin’s parents being alive, the ninja gasping in shock at something Jay knew on the top of his head, the ninja in red joined him at the table. There were two red ninjas, but he believed the guy was the one he’d seen the least, the other red one was way too loud, it didn’t go unnoticed to him through all of their encounters.
He wasn’t there at the tournament, he was grateful that he had to deal with one less ninja in that circumstance. It also meant he had never seen him when he was on Ras’ team, not seen the way he tried to hide the sadness when he disappointed his master.
“Sooo, Jay.” he leaned over the table, resting his head on his hands and smiling awkwardly. This red ninja was already annoying him, like all the others, they must all be the same. Jay braced himself, preparing to ignore his manipulation. “Nice ponytail…” he coughed out, avoiding eye contact. Jay looked from the side, seeing the way his eyes darted around the area.
He ignored him, didn’t want to say anything that would either feed into his delusions of once knowing him or shock him with how much he’s different from this past version of himself that didn’t exist. After their silence, Kai continued, “But I prefer the old hair. I dunno if you’re trying to impress the ladies with that hair or something, but…Nya for one, prefers it short…curly and brown. She likes to play with curly hair.” He finished, his voice growing louder like he was getting more confident in annoying him to the core.
Obviously, Jay wouldn’t amuse him, he was prepared to keep blocking out his taunting but he couldn’t ignore it when he patted his head, rubbing it side to side, “Not so curly when its in this tight ponyta-“ Jay flinched and jumped further away from him, shoving him away at the same time. However, it looked like his anger had gotten to the best of him and he’d forgotten about his hurt leg.
“Don’t touch me, you- ow ow ow-“ he hopped up, jumping up and down as his right ankle pulsed in pain, his head quickly gathering heaps of sweat. Kai scooted forward, taking small, hesitant steps towards the injured yet angry Jay.
Luckily, right before he lost his balance, about to double down to the floor and clutch his leg, another person came to his aid. This time, the one in green, he thinks? that one is the master, the one leading the group of idiots; but at least he had the decency to help him and not cause him to nearly fall like fire-man did.
“Woah, Jay!” he caught him from behind, his grip on his arms were hard and he could barely try to force his way out of his grip without his leg touching the ground, which would only shoot pain straight through his body. “Let’s get your leg patched up in the infirmary now.” He switched from holding him up from behind then wrapping his arms around his shoulder.
“Um…” Lloyd looked around, trying to think of which ninja to come help him. At first, he would’ve picked Arin or Sora so they can get some experience in first aid, Zane would be the next choice, but he was a bit too big for the monastery at the moment. Then the next problem was that Jay definitely had it out for Kai and Nya. “Cole, Pixal, can you help with Jay?”
They pulled out of their conversations with Zane and Geo and gladly agreed, Cole grabbed Jay’s other side. While he wanted to fight if off since he could easily get there by himself, the ninja in black had a very firm grip, so truthfully, he wouldn’t have a chance. He sighed and continued his way to the infirmary, the other ninja who were not joining them along looking subtly at them as they scooted up the stairs.
The water ninja, of course, made it all too clear that she was looking. She stared, continued to stare, always stared, she didn’t stop. She was the one he had fought in the Tournament and made a fool of himself, disappointed Ras, kicked out of the only idea of a home he knew. Though he was glad to not be with Ras anymore, he didn’t appreciate that her delusions caused it.
“Kai, you shouldn’t irritate him, he’s shattered his goodness. I know you weren’t there to see it, but- he’s…he’s not the same.” Lloyd spoke shyly, his head turned away from Jay as if that was doing much to hide his whispers. Really, Jay was almost scared how they continued with their manipulation when they didn’t believe he was listening (or maybe, that was the perfect way of manipulating him. Making him believe that if he was saying those things when he wasn’t there, then it must be true,) but he wasn’t that stupid.
“Just…we need him to trust us, not hate us. We’ll get Jay back before we know it, okay?”
Jay listened, but he didn’t buy into any of it. This Jay they spoke of must’ve been dead and they’re projecting his similarities to the first person that looked a little like him. Something delusional and crazy like that, right?
--
“Yeah, I definitely think it’s a fracture” Lloyd was taking a look at his leg, Pixal kneeling down by his side quickly scanning it. The black ninja had left, only there to get him to the infirmary. She nodded in response, to which Jay sighed, his head falling back and shooting out a long groan of frustration. “We’ll get you a splint and some crutches, Jay.” Pixal assured him, making her way to the corner of the room, into a cabinet where they kept a whole bunch of first aid stuff.
“Sorry, Pixal, I’ve changed a lot around since the merge.” Lloyd hurried over, noticing how she struggled to find what she needed. He grabbed the splint from another cabinet and got to Jay, working on getting it secured. In the silence, Lloyd, the master, another one Jay finally got to know the name of, was concentrated on fixing him up.
“A lot has changed about you since the merge, Lloyd. You’ve become a very capable master.” Pixal piped up, returning to kneel down next to Lloyd who was efficiently getting Jay’s leg into a splint, it was like second nature to him: even with his banged up leg, it barely hurt while he was helping him.
But when Jay scooted his position on the bed to stretch, a burst of pain shot from his leg, freezing his body for a second before shooting straight back down at his leg that flung up, hitting Lloyd in the face. “Ugh! Hey!” Lloyd held his nose, his eyes watering. Jay, as expected, found slight amusement to his pain despite how he was helping him. “Ow, ow- be-“ Jay grabbed his leg again, teeth clenched and ready to snap at their so called master, “be more careful!”
“Right! Right, okay. Just… don’t move.” He spoke back, a slight annoyance to his voice at the start before it calmed down quickly, immediately moving back to concentrating on his leg. Jay tried staying as still as possible, but not because Lloyd demanded him to, no way, because he did not want to feel that much pain in his leg again. He’d never been injured much before, obviously a scrape and a few bruises with Ras, but not like this – or maybe he has, in the life he had before the merge.
However, the pain didn’t suddenly go away like he wanted it to, it travelled around its leg, up to his thighs and caused his heart to beat penetratingly in his chest. Like how the other robot seemed to be, this one was observant too and had noticed Jay’s struggle. She looked to be offering her hand to him, perhaps to squeeze.
Jay scoffed without giving himself a second to think,”Ugh- I don’t need to squeeze your hand, I’m not a baby- I can handle a little—“ while trying to prove his toughness, hitting the robot girl’s hand away in the process, his voice grew five pitches higher when Lloyd tightened the split, finishing off. “Ah! Ow, I-“ he hunched forward, gripping his own pants instead of her hand,”I can handle pain.” He hissed through gritted teeth.
“Looks like you’ve been practicing.” Pixal complimented Lloyd, sitting on the side of the bed with Jay, too close for his comfort, but further away than they would sit next to each other before it all went wrong. Though, Jay found her the least annoying of the group so far.
“Don’t blame yourself, Lloyd. I’m sure you will get them back.” She expressed, her voice starting to become an annoyance to Jay but he knew getting himself mad would make the pain a lot worse, since he was always prone to lashing out physically. “Yeah…” Lloyd finished, leaving the silence to hang, not giving a full answer and definitely not speaking with full confidence.
Lloyd dragged himself to the corner of the small room where two crutches rested and handed it to Jay, who snatched them off him when he got close. Their master, at this point, was starting to become one of the more annoying ones, his face was in a constant depressing scrunch, his eyebrows raised and his mouth tangled into a perpetual frown.
With what Jay knew, that Arin kid had gotten himself wrapped up with Ras, betrayed his master, Lloyd, and believed he could revive his “dead” parents. But, of course, Jay knew they were lies, even if he had never worked in the Administration and never memorised where Barry and Jenny where, he would’ve known to not trust Ras. If he promises something great, its either a complete lie or a lie twisted into a truth.
He was an expert at twisting his own words, making his voice sound soft and genuine, pretending that he cared. Jay could imagine the look on the kid’s face when he told him his parents were dead, to then be offered a chance to bring them back. He could perfectly picture those slightly raised eyebrow, his mouth forcing itself into a frown. Then, the kid, the glimmer in his eyes, the idea planting into his head that he could reach them, have a purpose to stay with Ras.
Maybe that’s why he was disliking the master so much. He too was promising that he had a past with him, he knew the truth, those same facial expressions, the same title of “Master.”
“And we’ll get Jay back.” Pixal stated, putting a hand on Lloyd’s back whose frame hung a little over, flopped, threatening to double down because of just how shocked and tired he was. The guilt weighing him down, because first, it took him so long to get the team back together, all the ninja, new ninja and Pixal, until his students left for Ras. Not one mission has had the full team, someone was always left behind, having their own adventures, and one was still feeling the effects of the merge, still without his memory.
“I know you don’t believe us, Jay, but… we don’t want to use you, we don’t need you to come back to just be a part of the team, we want you back because- ‘cause we- we love you Jay. We wouldn’t care if you didn’t have powers, if you weren’t a ninja, all we want at this point is to just have you back and I-“
The crutch dug right into Lloyd’s chest, taking his breath away for a second, until he looked up and saw Jay already on his feet. He groaned as he twisted around, still feeling the pain in his leg as he only just got the splint on It: he looked behind him, his eyes piercing right into Lloyd, and to him, it didn’t feel like Jay at all.
“I’m not falling for that, not again.”